


Uncovered Passions

by cgreene



Series: Uncovered Passions and Undying Love [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Adventure, Erotic, F/M, Friendship/Love, Lemon, Mockingjay, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 197,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5271437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgreene/pseuds/cgreene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two would be rebels become lovers in the woods of District 12, and their story takes a drastically different turn.  This starts out as a lot of lemony goodness, so mature audiences only! But then a fair amount of plot slips in.  As always, reviews appreciated!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The time and setting of this story are mid-CF. Before knowing about the Quell, Gale and Katniss have decided to help the rebellion along in District 12. Now working in the mines, Gale has met a lot of other unhappy men, ready to do something when necessary, and they have the privacy and freedom down the to hatch their plans. Katniss, Gale, and a few other would be rebels are at a secret meeting talking about their plans as my story starts.

 

* * *

In the confusion, Katniss's survival skills kicked in. She ran for cover, thinking of no one but herself. The explosions had rocked her. Somehow, someone had informed the peacekeepers of the rebels' plans. Told them about their meeting place. And then destroyed it. Completely. Katniss didn't think anyone was in the building, an abandoned old warehouse, but she knew if someone had betrayed their location, they probably betrayed their names too – at least, hers and Gale's. Gale. Katniss froze. Where was Gale? Her body shifted into battle mode, and she ran for one of her secret stashes of weapons. They were hunting weapons only, but they were all she had. She retraced her steps back towards the perimeter of town. She could see the smoke still rising, the peace keeps ships hovering over the area, hear the men barking at locals to stay back. She didn't know what to do. Her breath became panicked, and her eyes darting, hoping something would trigger a response in her. Her brain raced. It probably wasn't even ten minutes ago that a boy raced into the warehouse. She, Gale, and the other rebel leaders sat at a table, documents scattered about. Information, plans, lists, maps. Almost everything they had against the Capitol to prepare the rebellion in District 12. The boy screamed, "Run. Now. They're coming!" Everyone leapt to their feet, but it was Gale who kept his cool. As people darted about, he grabbed Katniss and told her to run to the woods. He had to lock up all the papers so they wouldn't be found. She protested, said she'd wait for him.

"You're too important. We can't take any risk of you being caught." He pushed her towards the door. Her eyes searched him, and the commander's face softened into the Gale she grew up with. "You're wasting my time, Catnip." His lips flicked into the faintest of smiles as he began to organize the documents, "I'll meet you," and he nodded. A nod that meant you know where. As the others scattered about, Katniss ran towards the woods. Was it a minute later? A second? Her back was towards the building; she didn't see the peacekeepers coming. She barely registered the sound of their ships before she turned only to be pushed by the blast. She was blown over twenty feet into the forest. _The forest, where I am now,_ she thought. She was jolted into the present. Her ears still were ringing, so she relied on her eyes, scanning the area. _Gale_ , she thought, _Gale_ , she may have screamed. But there was no sign on him. Did he have time to escape the blast? Surely, he must have. She didn't let herself think anything else. Katniss spent over an hour pacing the perimeter of the woods, trying to stay hidden. Watching the commotion, looking for signs of medics or bodies. She climbed trees, but was afforded little information. A chilly wind told her it was getting late, and dark. She needed cover. She remembered the cabin by the lake her father showed her when she was a child. Katniss climbed down the tree, took her weapons, and headed to the lake. It was a good hour's hike from the edge of town, but it was safe, she knew that, and it was a favorite spot of hers and Gale's. _Perhaps…_ ? She let herself cling to that hope as she made her journey.

It was almost completely dark as Katniss approached the tiny shelter on the shore. Tired and exhausted with worry, she entered the cabin. But as soon as she entered, her senses told her danger. She quickly grabbed and strung her bow, and turned to face the shadow she sensed in the corner. She was ready to fire when she recognized Gale's featured step out of the darkness. "Gale!" She screamed. Forgetting herself, she threw herself at him. Tears escaped her eyes as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I thought you were…you were…" She choked on the words.

I'm fine, he told her, shrugging off the danger before he fully comprehended her worry. She took his face in her hands, and kissed him. Purely and deeply. Gale was surprised by her reaction. He let her have a moment, and stroked her head after she returned to hugging them. "It's ok, Katniss, I'm ok" When he realized she was sobbing, he held her tighter. After a few moments, she finally pulled away. Gale's eye's softened to see her, but almost instantaneously, she slapped him. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?" She screamed at him.

He was stunned. And confused. "Hey!" he returned strongly, "I told you I'd meet you! I've been waiting for hours!"

"You told me to meet you. How was I supposed to know where?"

"Yes, in our place!"

"The woods is our place Gale, the whole fricken' woods! They're big. I've been searching for hours!"

As she got heated up, Gale couldn't help but smile. How easily Katniss's emotions could turn. He, on the other hand, was far cooler. "Ok," he relented, "I'm sorry." And he reached for her again.

He relished being so close to her. They hadn't been this close sense she returned. Their relationship was tense at best over the past few months.

"I was so worried."

"I know," he apologized.

"I thought…" her voice trembled.

"I'm sorry."

"I'd be so lost without you"

"Really?" he questioned, "I never knew you missed me." This was an obvious insult and it caused Katniss's temper to flare again.

"That's not fair!" she threw at him. She pushed him away, "I did what I had to to stay alive. If you'd have rather I died..." She began to walk towards the door.

"No, Katniss, no." Gale was sorry. She could see it in his eyes. She didn't understand why he had to torture her so. She had thought Gale was her best friend. And she knew he was hurt by her behavior during the Games. But Gale never made any advances on her before. "It's not like you ever wanted me. How was I supposed to know you cared…" Her hands were on her face now, wiping away some of the tears.

A mix of emotions tore at Gale's insides. He loved Katniss. He would have died for her and he'd do anything to protect her. Even…keep her from loving him. She was special. Everyone knew it now, but he always did. And he thought that…if maybe he kept his distance, she'd one day find an opportunity to leave District 12 and have a better life for herself. He wasn't going to let anything hold her back…especially him. So he tried to never let her know how he truly felt. But things changed once he thought he'd really lost her. He couldn't stand the jealousy he felt during the games. There were nights when he boiled with anger. He was so filled with hate, he could hardly face her when she returned.

She was yelling at him. Hard, hurtful things. But she'd just kissed him, clearly she still cared. Gale never knew how much. She didn't know what was going on inside his head, but she could see the anguish on his face. She knew Gale better than perhaps anyone in the world, and he was still a mystery to her. She was tired of it.

"I came back for you, you know…And if you don't want me, it's your turn to leave!" She motioned towards the door, about to throw it open for him

She could see all his self control melting away. "God damn it, Katniss," he said. He grabbed her, a little more forcefully that he realized, and pushed her back into the hut. Katniss was a little stunned at Gale's behavior, usually such a carefully, controlled man. But when their eyes locked, she saw his desperation. His devotion. His love for her, and she realized how badly she must have tortured him. Leaving him in the hell of district 12 to slave away to feed not only his family but hers. She realized in that moment how deeply Gale must have loved her, to do everything he did, everything he still does, take the whipping, put her safety before his own, and Katniss realized, in that moment too, that she loved him.

"Gale, I'm…" But she never got the chance to finish. Gale grabbed her and kissed her, and it was more passionate than anything she ever experienced with Peeta. She was caught off guard at first, but after a moment, she let herself go. It was unlike anything else she'd ever experienced. Katniss was flooded with more sensations that she was even aware. After a moment of kissing, they paused, and Katniss looked up at Gale. He was a full head taller than her. He had the body of a man. Her hands ran up and down the strong muscles of his arms, and for the first time, she wished they would hold her. Her eyes traced the soft lines of his lips, and he wished they would own her. Gale was about to recompose himself, and Katniss new she had to do something. She hugged him and hid her face against his chest, listening to his strong heart beat.

"Gale, I'm…I'm sorry I'm so difficult."

He smiled and looked down at her, "Catnip, I wouldn't have you any other way."

"I never knew you wanted to have me," she countered.

"Katniss, you're the only thing I want in this world."

They melted into each other again.

His hands slowly made their way down her body, safely touching her arms at first, then, slowly making their way to her back. First over her shirt, then under. Katniss was relishing every touch. Gale was tender, patient and slow. He let his hands wonder up and down the front of her back, over her ribs. He hesitated as he approached her breast. Katniss had her hands in his hair, her fingers occasionally drifting down and teasing his ears. Her soft caresses sending shivers down his body. He wanted to ask permission, but he didn't want to come off as silly. This was, however, only the first time they'd been together, and he didn't know how far she wanted to go. As his brain considered what to do, he found his hands traveling up the sides of her ribs, to avoid her breasts, under her shirt. Katniss seemed to think he was motioning to taking off her shirt. She lifted her hands up over her head to make it easier, and Gale was relieved for her sign of willingness. He took her shirt off and discarded it on the floor. He took a step back, and admired her.

When they were younger, they used to go swimming in the pond, but Katniss was always too thin and boney. She was also much younger then. And though he loved her as a person, he was very happy to see how her body had developed. She had a strong muscular frame, but the extra food from her victory had added a few kind pounds. Her stomach was tight, but soft at the same time. He could still see the faint outline of her ribs, and reveled in the delight of her cleavage. She had definitely developed since he last saw her swimming in the pond. And it seemed that a few of the pounds had nicely settled there. Her breasts were not overly large, but they were well formed, and sat seductively in a fortunate bra.

She must have sensed his contemplations, and self consciously looked down at her bosom. "They were a bit bigger," she began, "before the games. ..during training."

He stepped towards her, sorry he'd made her insecure, and cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her tenderly. "You're perfect."

They returned to their passionate kissing. She knew Gale was getting excited. He moved from her back to her chest, to sliding his hands under her bra to grasp her breasts. He let out a moan of excitement as he held them. Katniss smiled and kissed the top of his head, happy he took such pleasure in her body. He spent a few minutes on each breast. Kissing and sucking at her nipples. His pace began to quicken, and Katniss trembled in delight. Gale covered her body in kisses, seeming to drink in her pleasure. His hands twisted from her breast to her back and dipped below her pants, reaching for her buttocks. The warm sense of pleasure was beginning to mix with concern, as Katniss didn't know where they were going. She took herself out of the moment, and began to worry as she'd never done anything more than kissing and didn't know what Gale wanted from her. Gale's hands had now found their way to the back of her bra and she realized he was about to unhook it. As it unclasped, and the straps fell from her shoulders, she saw an opportunity to take control. Her hands quickly jumped across her chest to keep the bra in place, and she pushed Gale back. A look of concern crossed his face. He didn't want to upset her. She realized this, and smiled reassuringly to show he hadn't upset her.

"You first." Her eyes narrowed and her hair fell seductively in her face as she motioned to take off his shirt. Gale smiled, and quickly tore off his shirt. Katniss reveled in his body, which she never paid much attention to before. His arms were godly strong and his chest chiseled. She spent a moment, considering which she liked better, deciding perhaps the defined arms. Gale realized he was being inspected, as he'd done to her, and looked down self consciously at his body. "Mine used to be bigger too," he joked. It took Katniss a moment to catch what he'd said, but when she did, a peal of laughter escaped her lips.

"I think that's the first joke you're ever made," she told him.

Gale smiled. Katniss had never seen this side of him before. Never seen him this happy. "Something must have come over me."

In that moment, Katniss knew that everything was right. That Gale was right. And that she wanted to give herself to him. She had always loved him…as a friend, as a person, but in this moment, she wanted him. All of him.

But she might not have been certain she loved him in that way until the moment he made her laugh. She reached her hands out to him, letting her bra fall to the floor. She took a step towards him. He sank to his knees. She held the back of his head as he kissed her breasts.

"I want you, Gale."

He nodded half paying attention.

She stopped him, taking his face in her hands and forcing him to look up at her.

"No, Gale. I want you." Their eyes met and he understood her meaning. He looked at her with tenderness and loving. She was sure. Gale needed no further instruction.

He rose up, his arms still encasing her, sliding over her butt and up her back. She returned his embrace and was caught off guard as he swung her around. She let out a cry of excitement. She moved her legs up and wrapped them around his waist for extra support. After spinning her around twice, Gale walked over to the bed in the corner of the room. The look of exhilaration left Katniss's face, the thrill in her eyes, and she grew serious. She looked down at Gale, and they spent a moment locked in each other's eyes.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

Katniss nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

He lowered her on the bed, gently and lovingly. Their lips met in a kiss and he crawled over her. Katniss was forced to lean back and found a wall for support. Her hands now free, they roamed over the muscles on Gale's strong frame. She kissed his lips and neck and ears. She twisted his hair in her fingers. Every time he touched her, her nerves seemed to explode. She shivered with pleasure and her body grew warm. But her desire for Gale began to mix with fear as she realized she didn't know what she was doing. She'd seen naked men before, but only as dead bodies or her mother's sick patients. And she could already see the bulge growing in Gale's pants. She felt a surge of excitement, curiosity, and fear all at once. Gale scooped her up and lowered her down on the bed. Once she was safely and comfortable placed, he leaned over her. His legs straddled her body. He let his hands run up and down her torso once, sending shivers deep inside her. She looked up at him, watching his movement. Her skin was wild with anticipation. And each gentle touch left her craving more. Gale's hands, finished with their journey, both came to the front of her pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped them, and softly began to pull them down. Katniss was unsure of what else to do, but she raised her hips slightly to help him. She was suddenly completely naked. She blushed and bit her lip, feeling completely exposed. Even though she trusted Gale completely, the fighter in her hated this. Gale lingered a moment, perhaps waiting for a cue from her. He was sitting on top of her, raised by this thighs, his hands grazed her soft legs, still hairless from the extreme preening she'd undergone for the games. He then brought his hands to his own belt buckle. Katniss jumped up, reaching out to stop him. He paused, concerned. But Katniss quickly recovered and smiled. "Let me help you." Gale was happy to allow her. She removed his belt and undid his pants. She took a deep breath as she began to pull them down, revealing his fully naked form.

Millions of thoughts were racing through Katniss's mind, but from the look on Gale's face, he was only thinking of one. She could tell he was ready, and she tried to push all her concerns and fears aside. She took Gale's hand to her mouth and kissed it, sweetly. And then, with her other hand, she bravely grabbed his member. She began to move her hand, back and forth, slowly and softly at first, but as he moaned with pleasure, she held more firmly and moved faster. She watched as pleasure transformed his face and he began to moan. She moved herself out from under him, allowing him the space to lean back on the bed. Katniss delighted in her new found power of the man who for so long she seemed unable to effect before.

"God, Katniss…" Gale groaned and she quickened her speed and tightened her grip. She began to twirl her hands and alternate her movements, studying what it did to her friend. His eyes rolled into his head and he began to breathe rapidly. He cooed her name, sweetly, notes of desire dripping from his mouth. "ohhh good…." Katniss drank in his pleasure and her ability to cause it. He was about to finish. In one fluid, quick moment, he quickly snatched her hand and stopped her. He arched his hand behind her, and swept her under him, twisting to position himself on top of her. His hands immediately made their way to her private parts and began to spread her lips so he could enter.

"Gale," she breathed his name. He purred hers in return. But her voice did not carry the tone of pleasure that his did. He slid his fingers around her wet opening. Her body was telling him that she was ready, but he slowly realized that her voice wasn't.

Gale slowed and looked at her. He saw her eyes full of worry and gave her a curious look.

"Gale, I've never done this before." She said, taking one of his hands and holding it.

He stopped. "Oh?" He didn't mean it to sound like such a question, but it did. And worse, Katniss took it as a bit of an accusation.

"What, you thought I did?" She began to push him away.

"Well…." Gale could see the anger flare up in her eyes. He began to fumble with his words. "There were so many stories about you and…." He didn't want to say his name. "About your sleeping arrangements on the train…and, on TV…."

"Those were just stories!" she hissed, pushing him away and scooting out from under him. "We never…" Katniss had to bit her lip. She and Peeta did in fact sleep together, but in the literal sense. They only slept nothing more. She didn't know how to explain this to Gale, and she suddenly felt she didn't want to. "I was forced to….to let all those people….to survive…" A few tears leaked from her eyes, and Gale suddenly saw how hurt she was.

"I'm sorry." He gently stroked her back. No longer sexual, but comforting. "I didn't mean to imply anything. I just assumed, or didn't really assume, I just wondered. I just thought there was a possibility." He held her against his body, and kissed her forehead as he stroked her. It suddenly didn't sound so bad, but she was too proud to admit that.

"Why did you assume?" she asked, "have you done this before?"

Gale wasn't expecting this turn in the conversation. "God, Katniss, that's not why I thought you'd been with him."

"You didn't answer my question." She looked at him pointedly.

"This isn't the time to talk about my past-"

"What. Only mine?"

She had a point. Gale didn't want to admit it. He was partly ashamed of his history, but he decided to tell her the truth. "Yes," he confessed. She didn't say anything, but her look told him that his answer wasn't sufficient. "I slept with Nelly Briggs a couple times a few summers ago."

"Why?" Katniss wanted to know.

"God, Katniss, I don't know. Because she asked me to."

"So you'll sleep with just any girl who asks?"

"Yeah." He fumbled. "I mean, no, not any girl. But I have to admit, It's kind of hard to say no."

"Especially to a girl like Nelly." Katniss cut in. She remembered Nelly well. She was Gale's age. And she was beautiful. She was a businessman's daughter. A bored rich girl. And she had a reputation for running around with boys. Katniss could see why she'd want a guy like Gale. And she could see why Gale would want a girl like her.

Gale looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"I guess I can see why you'd want a girl like Nelly. She's so beautiful."

"I didn't want Nelly." Gale clarified. "I wanted to have sex. Christ, Katniss, I was sixteen. It's not like I said yes to every girl who wanted to sleep with me."

"How many?"

"What?"

"How many did you say yes to?" Katniss had widened the space between them. She suddenly felt cheap. Maybe Gale was only with her because she was willing. Gale paused. He was reluctant to tell her because he was ashamed.

"What?" her tone was harsh, "too many to count or something?"

Gale was slightly offended. "No." he said with an edge. "I slept with Nelly several times that summer, but I eventually grew bored of her. There was only one other."

"Who?"

"Rita."

"Rita?" Katniss searched her memories for a Rita. It took her a few moments, but the only Rita she could think of was, "the banker's wife?"

"Yes," Gale admitted, ashamed. "I'm not proud of it. It just kind of happened."

"How?" Katniss's anger and insecurities had subsided. She was not more curious than anything. Rita was an older, though beautiful woman. She had short, curled red hair. Her husband was well respected in the community, as was she, come to think of it. Katniss couldn't even think of how she and Gale would have ever crossed paths. "When?"

"Just a few months ago." Gale confessed. He was looking down. "After you went to the Games. After you started with Peeta. I was so jealous when I saw you two together. You kissing him, caring for him. I should have known better, but that night, I watched you sleep with him in the cave, I couldn't take it anymore. I went to the Cellar." The Cellar was a bar of sorts, below the Hob. It had an ill reputation, but it was one of the few places you could get alcohol in District 12. "One of the miner's took me there after my father died. For my first drink. And after I saw you with him, I was so angry I couldn't stand to be in my own head. I stormed out of my house, and somehow my feet just took me there. I went in, and had a few drinks when Rita approached me. Turns out her life isn't as perfect as she'd like people to think. I don't even remember why. Somehow we ended up leaving together. I don't know what I was thinking. I just knew that if you were with him, it didn't matter anymore."

"What didn't matter?" Katniss didn't fully understand. She looked at him compassionately, searching him.

"I stopped sleeping with Nelly because when I was with her, all I could think about was you. And I didn't pay attention to a single other girl after that. I ignored all of them…"

Katniss had not idea Gale felt this way about her before. She thought he always looked at her as a friend. "But why?" she honestly didn't understand. "I was nothing back then."

"You're not nothing. You're incredible. Katniss, you're strong and beautiful and caring and smart." He said this rushed, almost forcefully. "And when I thought you were with Peeta, I couldn't bare it. I was stupid, and weak, and I'm sorry." He leaned his head against her shoulder. She reached out and comforted him. She felt horrible for how she made him feel. She had to admit, Gale did cross her mind while she was in the games, but her survival came first.

"I swear, it was only for show." She soothed him. She took his face and brought it up to her. "I never meant to hurt you. I never knew you cared."

"Katniss," Gale looked at her earnestly. "I love you. I've always loved you." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She reached for him and kissed him, purely and sweetly at first. Then desperately and passionately.  
He swung her around, so she was stilling facing him on his lap. He sat upright on the bed, with his feet on the floor. Her legs spread around his waist and his arms cradled her back, keeping her close to him. He looked deeply into her eyes and pushed her hair behind her ears, "We don't have to do anything you don't want to." He reassured her.

She took a moment to think, her arms entwined around his neck. She looked down at him, taking her time to respond just to tease him. "I want to, Gale." He picked up on her playful mood.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he smiled and swung her beneath himself again. She ran her through his hair and his head slowly moved south. He kissed her neck and her chest, and he spent a few minutes kissing each breast. Katniss was lost in the sensation. Her skin was on fire, and the lower he went, the deeper the sensation grew. Gale brought one of his hands up and traced circled on her thighs, until finally, his lips and his fingers seemed to be almost in the same place. Gale paused for a moment and looked down on Katniss. Pleasure was written across her face.

"Don't stop," she moaned. He smiled, though she didn't see it, and he returned to his business. His fingers found her clit and he began rubbing it. Katniss felt a pleasure unlike anything she'd experienced before. Gale started slow, and tender, and then, began to apply more pressure. His movement became more rapid. Something deep inside her swelled and Katniss began to feel like she was losing control. "Gale," she said between quick breaths. "Oh god, Gale…" Gale began to grow hard just watching her. She was almost trembling. She didn't know what was happening to her, but she suddenly wanted Gale more badly than she wanted anything in her life. She reached out for his other hand. She wanted to kiss him, but she didn't want him to stop. Gale continued to apply pressure, and Katniss felt something from within her rising. She tried to call out his name again, but she felt like she was losing control of her brain. Pleasure coursed through every part of her body and she trembled. She lay panting for a minute or two, before she could even find words again. And then, all she could say was his name. She desperately grabbed for him and dragged her face to him, twisting her body in with his and kissing his lips lovingly. Thankfully.

"You liked that?"

"Yes." She breathed. The words barely escaped her lips. They kissed and embraced and rolled around each other a few times, before it occurred to Katniss to pleasure Gale again. She sat on top of him, giving him a joyful view of her breasts, and with both her hands, reached down to his cock. She turned her hand around it a few time, and felt as he grew with each pulse. Until finally he was erect, and his large member touched her stomach. As she stroked him, she looked at Gale. There was understanding in their eyes. He sat up, brushing her hair back again from her face and kissing her on the lips. Her hands wandered up his back, and she hugged him. He then scooped her in his arms, and twisted her around, positioning her below him. She felt his cock slide against her a few times, pushing against her skin. Gale slid his fingers down her chest all the way to her wet entrance.

"Are you ready?" he asked her.

She looked at him, full of anticipation. She hoped her eyes didn't betray all her nerves. "Yes," she said. She felt him slid a finger between her lips. She was very wet and tight, Gale thought. He felt a little bad about how much this excited him, because he knew, since it was her first time, it would probably bring her a certain amount of pain. With one hand, he separated her folds and guided himself inside her, slowly. He felt her muscles constrict, and she winced. She turned her face away from his. Gale took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him.

"Are you ok?" Despite his drive for pleasure, his concern for her came first. Katniss only nodded. She was in pain. "Try and relax, ok," he told her reassuringly, kissing away her tears, "and get used to the feeling before I go all the way in."

"You're not all the way in?" she blurted out, surprised. She looked down to see only the tip of his cock had entered her. She turned away again, "oh god." Gale looked at her, concerned, but she smiled at him reassuringly. She took a few deep breaths, and then told him she was ready. He slowly let himself into her. She was incredibly tight. She tensed again, and this time her legs closed around him. He gasped with pleasure, but tried to pay attention to Katniss as he pushed through her barrier and fully filled her body. She let out a desperate sound, and a few tears fell from her eyes. He brushed them from her face, and kissed her tenderly. She clung to him. He waited until she seemed comfortable, and after a few moments, began to slowly move in and out, and pleasure rippled throughout his body. It became harder and harder for Gale to focus on Katniss's needs. She buried her face into his neck and held him tightly as he continued. Gale was lost in the pleasure. Nothing had ever felt this good in his life. His pace quickened, and he was losing control of himself. Waves of pleasure coursed through his body, and he began to thrust harder and deeper. Katniss was paralyzed at first. She wanted to hide her face so Gale couldn't see her. She had imagined a million things when she thought about them finally being together, but this wasn't one of her dreamed scenarios. The pain wasn't unwelcome though, and despite how she hurt, she wanted Gale inside her.

Her pain was subsiding though, as she became used to Gale occupying a space untouched by anything else before. She knew Gale didn't want to hurt her. And she thought about how much she felt for him. And slowly, his rhythmic thrust began to stir something else inside her. Her hips began to move with his, and her body again began to tremble. She reached up, desperately kissing him. She somehow wanted to get closer to him. She didn't want them to separate.

"God, Katniss," he breathed, sweat beginning to form on his temple. They moved together, hips grinding, bodies rising, falling. Something was beginning to stir deep inside Katniss, something more powerful and pleasurable than before. She desperately clung to Gale, one arm holding his back and the other cradling his face. She kissed his lips, wanting their bodies to fuse. Her hips moved with his, and every time he moved in and out of her, she thought each thrust would bring her over the edge.

Gale was in heaven. She was warm and tight and wonderful. His brain was swimming in pure pleasure, but he was trying to wait for Katniss to climax, though he wasn't sure he would make it. His body wanted to move faster, harder, go deeper, and it did. Small noises escaped Katniss's lips as he did. She ran her fingers up and down his back, tangled them in his hair. She simultaneously wanted him to continue and finish. She loved what she was feeling but also didn't know how much longer she could stand it. She breathed heavily, nearly panting Gale's name. She tried to kiss him, when she thought to, but her pleasure was becoming so intense, she could barely control her own thoughts and body.

"Gale," she begged his name. He was working at an incredible rhythm, lost in their pleasure as well. "Oh, god, Gale!" She nearly screamed. He looked down at her, and in the moment their eyes met, they were both overcome. Katniss's muscles spasmed in pleasure, unable to control herself. She reached up to Gale and brought his face to hers. She kissed him deeply and lovingly and he climaxed as well.

They lay together for a few minutes, panting, touching, unable to disconnected. Katniss ran her hands up and down Gale's back, along the sides of his ribs, down to his butt, up to his face. She kissed him, purely and sweetly, tightening her legs around his hips, not wanting him to ever leave her. When Gale caught his breath, he started to pull away. "Don't!" she told him, "I don't want you to leave me ." He only nodded, still unable to speak, but he kissed her and stroked her face. He gently twisted her around, so he was lying on his back and holding her. His strong arms made her feel safe and secure. Her head fit perfectly in the crook of his shoulder. He stroked her head again, and he leaned down to kiss her. She traced small circles on his chest, and as Gale held her tightly, she fell asleep listening to his strong heart beat.


	3. Chapter 3

After their post-coital nap, Katniss and Gale woke. It was growing outside, maybe even past midnight, as the two lovers began to stir in each other's arms. Gale was the first to wake. Katniss was still in his arms; it hadn't been a dream. He stayed silent, hoping not to disturb his partner. He marveled at the girl in his arms. Treasured holding her so near. Honored the closeness she'd given him. For a long time, he was never certain Katniss would ever want him this way, and as he lie there, caressing her soft body, life was perfect. It didn't matter that he had to go to work in the mines, that he and his family were hungry, or that the Capitol might reap his brothers and sister, he could get through it all with Katniss by his side. As he ran his thumb over the curve of her hip, she began to move. She pushed her hand across his chest and looked up. She smiled when she realized his face.

"Hey," she said, still a bit groggy.

Gale looked adoringly back. He wiped her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears. "Hey."

Katniss crawled on top of him so she was straddling his hips. She stretched her arms above her head, and Gale wondered if she know how much this view tortured him. He grabbed her hips, and savored the curve at her waist, sliding his hands up her back, down her ribs, to her waist, and over her hips. He must have had a funny look on his face because she questioned him, "what?"

"Nothing….you're just so beautiful."

"I'm certain I'm a mess," she dismissed him.

"Yes, that too," he said with a small laugh, "but you are beautiful."

Katniss curled herself up on his chest. She folder her arms beneath herself and buried her face in Gale. He embraced her, tenderly rubbing her back. A few minutes passed. "Hey, where'd you go?" he finally asked her.

"I'm right here," she responded, "I didn't go anywhere. I'm trying to record every second of this." She looked deep into his gray eyes and kissed him, tenderly at first, but soon passionately. Gale's arms explored her body. He traced her spine and followed her curves down to her rear end. Their lips locked for minutes until Katniss could no longer ignore the growing pressure by her legs. She broke away from Gale, leaving one of her hands to tease his ear, and with the other, explored downward to find his erected member.

"Oh, Katniss," he sighed as she grabbed him, "what are you doing to me?" She began to twirl her hands around it again, speeding up, slowing down, varying her pressure. His eyes fluttered up in his head, and he was lost in the moment. As she increased her motions, both his hands tightened on her butt as she drove him wild with pleasure. She began to rock her hips, and this sent Gale to another level. She now gripped his cock with both her hands, and with the added gyrations, he was at her mercy. Gale tried to stay in control. He focused on her face, on her bouncing breast, but everything made him more excited. When he closed his eyes, the sounds of their moving bodies aroused him further.

Katniss enjoyed driving Gale wild with pleasure. She studied the expressions he made and experimented with her rhythm. Harder, longer, faster, tighter. Gale was slowly losing all control. He firmly held her hips, helping her maintain the constant rhythm. She let go with one of her hands to hold on to his arm. He guided her up and down, and in their quickening moment, with both her help and his, he was suddenly inside her.

She froze.

"Does it hurt?" Gale cured himself as he read the pain on her face. He was too quick, too forceful, and with her on top….

"Yes, but I like it," she responded. "Just give me a minute," she said, getting used to him so deep and fully inside her. She sat there for a moment, concern written all over Gale's face, but slowly, she started to move again. It was clear she was concentrating on how she felt. Or how he felt inside of her. But her pace quickened. She held one of Gale's hands. His other hand, steadied her back, curving around her hips to support her. Katniss closed her eyes, and focused on her sensations. She felt pressure, and full, and tighter, and a little discomfort, though the pain had all but subsided. Only when she pushed down, and Gale was able to fill her entirely did it hurt. But she didn't mind. She couldn't find the words to explain how wonderful it felt to have him inside of her. It was like they both were giving the other the greatest gift in the world.

With Gale's help, she recovered her earlier rhythm. She felt that same swelling sensation as she did before. Muscles she didn't even know she had were moving. Something inside her was stirring and her brain was over run. Soon, the only words she could remember were "Gale," and "yes."

Gale's tolerance was nearly spent. With all the previous excitement, he was using every ounce of will power he had not to cum with every new thrust. He tries to focus on Katniss; her pleasure is more important than his. But he is barely in control of his thoughts…when he sees the look on her face, the curves of her body, the bounce of her breasts. He was so turned on, he could hardly help himself.

"Katniss," he moaned. "Katniss," he warned. Gale really didn't know how much longer he could hold out. She was panting and looked down at him. He placed both hands around her waists, that wonderful curve of her waist. He wanted her to be able to climax first, but he really didn't think that could happen. She moved up and down, each time sending him sensations of ecstasy. "Katniss…" he breathed, "Oh god!" And he came. He held her in place, no longer able to help her move up and down. She paused, enjoying the sensation of having him deep inside her. Not thinking of anything else.

Gale slowly recovered. He embraced Katniss, leading her down to his face, kissing her deeply. His pleasure was incredible, but he felt bad that she hadn't climaxed as well. He pulled her down on his chest, and then switched positions with her. He was now on top, and he let his fingers find her clit. He began stimulating them with practiced precisions. He knew exactly what he was doing. Katniss was soon lost in sensation. He knew exactly what buttons to press, and soon she was moaning his name. The words "Gale," and "yes," were again the only two she could manage. Gale enjoyed giving her this pleasure. He treasured every expression she made. And soon, Katniss was lost as well in rapture. Her muscles spasmed, and she twitched in pleasure. It took her a few moment to recover, but when she did, she reached for Gale's face and pulled him into a long, loving kiss.

The two lay there for a while, exhausted. They panted and petted, and tried desperately to hold on to one another. Gale pulled her close, and held onto her like she was the most important thing in the world. Minutes, maybe an hour passed, before Gale decided to say something.

"What time is it?"

"I've no idea." Katniss replied honestly. "How long were we asleep?"

She could feel Gale shake his head in response. "Are you getting hungry?"

"Yeah!" Katniss laughed at his question. She was always hungry.

"We should probably get cleaned up too." She was sad to feel Gale get up, but the thought of food had excited her stomach. They hadn't had lunch or dinner. "I've got some supplies in my pack," he said, motioning over to a bag in the corner. "You want to grab that while I start a bath?"

Katniss hadn't thought of taking a bath. Then, she looked down and frowned. There was some smeared, drying blood between her legs.

Gale read her thoughts immediately. Her took her chin and forced it up. Their eyes locked for just a moment before he moved into kiss her. His strong arms enveloped her, and the world slipped away for a moment. "Don't worry about it," he whispered into her ear, still holding her close. She tried not to, but she couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

Katniss pulled out some bread, dried meat, and an apple from Gale's pack. She was suddenly ravenous at the sight of food. Gale went to the lake to fetch some water. It took him a few trips, but with the two large buckets, there was soon enough water for them both to bathe. He brought a few smooth, large rocks from the lake's edge as well and put them in the fire. This was how they warmed water for bathing in the Seam. A few hot rocks submerged in a tub was usually enough to make the water tolerable.

Katniss laid a blanket out net to the fire and spread out the food. After Gale dumped the last bucket of water into the tub, he joined her. They ate mostly in silence. Katniss put the meat in the bread to make a sandwich. They then split the apple for dessert. Gale tried to give Katniss the bigger portion, but she refused.

"I think the rocks are probably ready," Gale said, swallowing the last bite of apple. He got up and took a tool by the hearth and grabbed one of the heavy stones. Katniss enjoyed the view as he carried the stone over to the tub. She thought the sizzling sound it made when being dropped in the water was quite appropriate. Gale had a magnificent body. He was tall and well defined. She could see all the muscles in his arms and legs and couldn't help but smiling as she noticed the ones in his butt as well. She never paid attention to this part of him before and was happy to note that it was as beautifully sculpted as the rest of him. His abs were chiseled, and she thought that perhaps his chest was her favorite part. The defined abs, pecks, strong shoulders. She loved how he held her close there, a deep hug and the strong sound of his heart. A smile crossed her lips as she thought about this.

"I think that's warm enough," Gale said, after testing the water with his hand. Katniss nodded, still half lost in reverie. Gale walked over to her and extended her hand to help her up. She gladly took it, but before she knew it, Gale had scooped her up. He was holding her in his arms and spun her around. She let out a peal of laughter as he did this. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply when he finished. His eyes were alight and alive, she hardly ever saw him like that. She couldn't help but smile.

"What?" He questioned, lowering her into the tub.

"Nothing," she shook her head.

The water was delightfully warm, Katniss noticed even if the rocks were a little awkward to sit around. Gale climbed in the tub after her. He reclined against the back and pulled Katniss in his arms. She happily leaned against his chest. He put his arms around her and they playfully entwined their legs. She looked back, lifted her face towards his, and they shared a soft kiss. But Gale wasn't letting her go that easily. Their tongues started to dance and it became far more sensual. One of Gale's hands found her breast. He gently messaged it and flicked the nipple, which stiffened up with the sensation. Katniss reached one of her hands up to caress his face. She even pulled at his ear playfully.

They stayed like this for some time, kissing, petting, playing. Their legs entwined and their hands explored each other's bodies. Gale finally turned Katniss around and pulled her on his lap. She hugged his waist with her legs and looped her arms around his neck. They kissed again, and when they finished she smiled again to see that great look in his gray eyes.

"What?" He asked her again.

"Nothing…I'm just…" it took her a moment to find the right word, "happy."

Gale beamed. "Me too," and he kissed her again.

After they finished another make out session, Katniss rested her head on Gale's shoulder. He lovingly caressed her back.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she said, looking up at him.

"What?" he was caught off guard.

"It's not fair," she began, "you can always tell exactly what I'm thinking and you can be such a mystery to me…Why is that?"

"I paid a lot of attention." Gale said.

Katniss's expression changed. She took it an insult. She pulled away and leaned against the other side of the tub.

"Don't be like that," he tried to pull her back, but she resisted. Gale frowned slightly, but Katniss wasn't letting this go. He tried to recover. "No, Katniss, I just mean. I've known I liked you for quite some time."

"When did you know you liked me?" she demanded.

"One day, at the Hob, Darius joked about kissing you." Katniss nodded, remembering, "I realized I minded. His joke made me so angry, it took everything I had not to punch him."

"Why?" she questioned, trying to sound too flattered.

"Because I didn't want someone like him to have you." Katniss took this as a compliment and blushed slightly. Gale was happy to see this. "Then, after I was with Nelly, I realized I would rather be with you."

"Did it feel different with me…than with Nelly?" Katniss cautiously asked.  
Gale's expression grew a little serious. "Of course, I love you, Katniss."

"Oh, I know that," she cut him off, "I mean, like physically..." There was a strange tone in her voice Gale couldn't quite place. She didn't look him in the eyes when she asked.  
Gale took a few moments to respond. "Nelly wasn't better than you, if that's what you're asking," he started carefully. She met his gaze, and he knew she wanted more of an answer from him. "But it was…different I guess."

"How so?"

"For one, the positions. Nelly and I usually did it vertically." Katniss crinkled her brow trying to picture this. "For two, she wasn't a virgin."

"You can feel the difference?" Katniss asked earnestly.

"Yeah," Gale said with a small laugh. He wasn't surprised Katniss was so inexperienced in this field, but it did slightly amuse him. "It's tighter."

"Is that better?"

"In some ways."

"Oh." She said, looking down at the blood between her legs. Gale noticed the change in her mood. He quickly continued.

"But in other ways no." Katniss looked up at him and nodded. She had never talked about any of this stuff before. It never seemed important. "It didn't hurt too bad…for you, did it?" Gale was honestly curious, and he knew Katniss would give him a truthful answer.

"At first, yes, and no." She paused for a moment to think. "It wasn't what I expected. There was a lot of pressure, and at first it felt like…like you didn't quite fit right. Like you were too big or something, or shouldn't be there. But at the same time, I liked feeling you inside me. Or knowing you were inside me." Gale nodded as she explained this to him. "But it goes away, right?"

"Yeah, after the first couple times." He wasn't exactly sure if this was the exact right answer, but he assumed it was true. Gale pulled her back into his arms. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arms gently. "So when did you realize you liked me?" he asked.

"I'm still figuring that out," she said playfully.

"Oh, that's not nice," Gale returned, and turned her around to face him. She smile told him she was joking, but he knew this already. He kissed her neck and chest. His hand rubbed her breasts and an expression of pure joy broke across his face.

"Why do you like them so much?" she asked genuinely.

"Because they're perfect." Gale said, still lost in his pleasure.

"Do you wish they were bigger?"

"No," Gale said, "as long as I'm the only one who can touch them." He leaned down to take her nipple in his mouth and gently kissed it, toying with it with his tongue. Katniss arched her head back in pleasure. She held on to Gale's neck for support. After her finished adoring each of her breasts with his lips, he messaged each one with his thumbs.

Katniss leaned in to kiss him again, and when she finished, she buried her face in his shoulder. Gale held her for a few moments, but the water was growing cold. He reached for a bar of soap and lathered them both up. They playfully splashed in the water to rinse off. When they were finished, Gale got up. He extended his hand to Katniss and helped her out and they made their way over to the blanket in front of the fire to dry off in the heat. It took several minutes for them to dry. The faintest hint of dawn was coloring the sky, but they decided they needed more rest. Katniss led Gale over to the bed and they crawled in under the sheets, holding each other close for the next few hours of sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When Katniss opened her eyes, the world was bright and white. Sun flooded through the window. The light was warm and it was well into the morning. It took her a few seconds to focus and remember where she was. But the events of the previous day came rushing back to her as she lips formed a small smile. She was tempted to think it was all a dream until she realized Gale was in bed next to her. He held her all night, and she didn't want to move and disturb him. She pushed the hair out of his face and looked at his sleeping features. He looked so peaceful. Gale probably never got enough sleep. She gently placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He moved slightly but didn't wake. Katniss rested her head back on his chest, and he automatically tightened his embrace around her.

She laid there blissfully for a while, but patience was not Katniss's strong suite, and Gale was showing no sign of waking. She was about to shake him awake when she had a better idea. Katniss started tracing circles around Gale's nipple. She kissed the one nearest to her, flicking with her tongue the way Gale did to her the night before. She slowly pulled herself out of Gale's arms and began placing kisses down Gale's chest, going lower and lower until she starts to see an erection forming. Gale still wasn't awake, however. She slowly pulled the sheet off and very delicately stroked Gale's penis. She did this again and again until he was very erect, but he still didn't wake. She softly traced a line down Gale's leg, moving slowly, but when she reached his knee, he twitched. Gale moaned and moved again as Katniss softly tickled his knee. Gale has ticklish knees, she thought, I'll have to remember this. She tried to shift positions, but her movement this time brought a reaction from Gale.

"Did I wake you?" he mumbled eyes still closed. She lied back down next to him, nestled in his shoulder. With his other arm, he brushed the hair from her face and slowly opened his eyes.

Katniss met his stare and shook her head.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing her expression.

"Something was poking me," she said playfully.

"Oh, yeah, can't help that."

"Well maybe I can help," and she grabs his member and starts to rub it.

"Katniss…oh god…" Gale is completely at her mercy. "This isn't…fair…" Gale slowly managed to get the words out between gasps of pleasure.

She moved and straddled Gale's thighs, kneeling over his legs. His hands gently massaged her hips and butt, but as she continued to pleasure him, he fingers forgot their pattern until he was only squeezing her and sighing her name. Gale was lost in pleasure for a few moments, but he wasn't going to let her finish him. Gale forced himself to focus, and before he was about to climax, he reached for Katniss's hands and forced her to stop.

"Gale, what are you doing?" She asked nervously as he grabbed her and flipped positions with her. Katniss now lay on the bed. Gale, on his knees, sat between her legs. He fingers lightly danced across her skin, running up and down her legs and sending her nerve endings shooting in every direction. Katniss closed her eyes and waited for his fingers to make their way up to her privates, but she waited for what seemed like minutes and it was torture. She opened her eyes and when they found Gale, he smiled at her. She knew this smile. It meant he was up to something.

Gale scooted himself down towards the end of the bed and hopped on the floor. He sat on his knees and pulled Katniss towards him. Katniss propped herself up on her elbows, "Gale – " she began, but he shook his head. Confused, she quieted. Gale pushed her legs apart gently. He kissed her inner thigh sending shivers through her entire body. His hand gently kneaded her legs as his kisses grew deeper and deeper. Katniss got lost in the pleasure for a minute, thinking about the delightful sparks shooting across her skin. She suddenly was aware that Gale's kisses were getting very close. Surely, she thought, he wasn't going to kiss her…THERE! The first second Gale's lips touched her clit sent a shockwave through her body. Katniss thought she liked his fingers, but his tongue was incredible. Warm and moist, Gale was able to do things that made Katniss redefine the word pleasure. Sensations rocked her body. Her hips wanted to move with him. One of her hands found his hair and tugged at it. Something deep inside her was stirring, and she wasn't sure she was capable of thought. She felt like she was being pulled in different direction. She wanted him to go faster, harder, deeper, softer, slower all at once. She simultaneously thought that she couldn't stand it and that she wanted it to last forever. "Gale…oh my god Gale, you have to….you have to…." But she didn't have to tell Gale what to do. He knew exactly what he was doing, and the skill and rhythm of his tongue quickly brought Katniss over the edge.

She was twitching with ecstasy and breathing heavily when Gale came up to lie next to her. He grabbed her hand and kissed it before brushing the hair from her face. She pulled herself towards him and found his lips. The kissed for minutes, lips lingering, tongues dancing. Katniss's hand made its way down to Gale's erection and she began to stroke it again. When he was very hard she moved to guide him inside of her.

"Wait, Katniss, no. We…we have to be careful." Gale said, stopping her.

"What do you mean?" She asked with genuine worry.

"I…we…I don't want to get you pregnant."

"Oh." Katniss hadn't thought of this, she been so caught up in the moment. "Oh no…" She said, trying to sound panicked. As if she didn't have enough to worry about right now. "Oh no!" She repeated, but in a different tone. Gale was confused by the change. "No!" She sounded happy. Gale was about to ask her what was going on but she excitedly explained. She grabbed Gale's face and kissed him. "We don't have to worry." As much as Gale wanted to believe this, he didn't think it was possible. "They gave me a shot, before the Games...during the medical checkups…." Gale still wasn't sure he understood. "It's standard Capitol procedure for everyone past puberty…"

"What?" He honestly didn't understand.

"Gale, the shot was a form of birth control. Everyone one in the Capitol gets one, twice a year I think they said…I tried to fight them from giving me mine, good thing they did…"

"It's about fucking time they did something smart!" Gale said like it was the best news he'd head all year. "I never thought I'd be thankful for something the Capitol did!"

He climbed on top of her and kissed her very passionately. In one quick movement, he found her opening and slid right in. Katniss was so wet and ready from before that Gale easily went in. It felt incredible. Not tight or awkward or painful, but like it was meant to be. Excited from before, their bodies quickly found their rhythm. Free from the stress and worry about getting Katniss pregnant, Gale surrendered fully to the pleasure. His body tingled with every touch he was almost certain they'd start to spark. Waves of heat were hitting Katniss's body and it was entirely possible she might dissolve and tried furiously to hold on to Gale. His strong arms supposed both of them a few inches off the bed, and she locked her legs around his hips. She felt something swirling inside of her and knew she'd be finished soon. She whispered Gale's name between breaths, and he knew she was close. He quickened his pace and thrust deeper, and each movement brought him close to going over the edge as well. It wasn't long before Katniss's muscles relaxed, she loosed the hold she had on his hips with her legs and lay beneath him quivering.

"Oh, Gale…" she panted as she pulled his lips to hers and kissed him. Gale climaxed as well and collapsed on her chest. She wrapped her arms around him, and held him tightly, never wanting him to leave.

They lay there until their breathing returned to normal and they stopped sweating. Katniss sweetly rubbed Gale's back and he kissed her arms and shoulder. They eventually switched positions. He pulled her on top of him. She lingered a moment, sitting over him. He caressed her curves lovingly before pulling her down to cuddle next to him.

"We have to go back sometime you know," she told him, finally breaking the silence. But Gale had something he wanted for the first time in his life. He wasn't eager to let it go so easily. He was lost in his thoughts for a moment. She shook him slightly, indicating she wanted an answer. He moaned in protest but finally relented, "you're right."

"Our families are probably worried about us." Neither of them wanted to think about what was going through their mothers and siblings' minds while they were away.

"True, but we have to be careful about the peacekeepers. They were probably hoping to catch us in that raid."

"Yeah," Katniss admitted, "but they have no proof. We'll have to come up with an excuse for why we were gone. Maybe one of us got hurt in the woods?"

Gale nodded. It wasn't such a bad idea. Their families were probably very worried, and he can't afford to miss many days at the mine.

Katniss finally pulled away and Gale reluctantly let her slip through his arms. She began looking around for their clothes, scattered over the cabin during their various stages of love making. "Come on, sleepy, we have to get going." She tossed Gale's clothes over to him, playfully landing on his face. He watched her lovingly as she dressed, pulling on each garment, sorting on her socks, tightening her belt. She brushed her hair roughly with her fingers before returning it to her trademark braid. She was nearly finished when she said, "Gale, come on." He nodded and followed suit.

Before long, they were both dressed. Katniss had pulled another loaf of bread for them to split and packed up their things. She sensed the change in Gale's mood. She wasn't as good at reading him as he was her, but she knew something was on his mind.

"We have to go back, Gale."

"I know." She was right.

When the cabin was cleaned of their visit, it looked like they had never been there. Gale couldn't help but wonder if that's what they were going to pretend…like it never happened. They walked silently through the woods for most of their journey. They both had a lot on their minds. As they approached the fence, Gale quickly scanned the horizon, it looked like they were safe. And alone. He quickly grabbed Katniss's hand and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply and long, for what he realized might be the last time. He didn't know what was going to happen once they crossed through that fence, back into the real world. Would they pretend like this never happened? Would she return to playing with Peeta? Would they sneak off every Sunday and do it again? Gale's stomach was in knots. If Katniss was going to slip through his fingers one more time, he wasn't going to let her go easily.

"I love you," he whispered close to her ear.

She leaned up and kissed him, her lips working frantically against his. "You know I love you too, right?" She said, pulling away and looking deep into his eyes.

Gale knew, but he also knew that things were a lot more complicated than that. "I'll always love you."

Katniss nodded and looked at him, as if to say, I'll always love you too, but that doesn't mean we'll be together. But she didn't say anything. She broke away and headed towards the fence. Gale followed, watching her walk in front of him, walk away from him. Katniss watched her feet as the ground moved beneath her. She stopped when she got to the fence and turned back to see Gale.

She wanted desperately to tell him that she wished they could stay in the cabin together, stay there and be together and hunt and make love…but, that would be selfish. They had obligations, to their family, to the rebellion. What were they doing just a few days about? About to sacrifice everything for the sake of their cause. They were trying to be leaders, they couldn't just run off and forget about the world. Even if it meant they could be together. She didn't need to tell him this though, Gale was thinking the same thing. Their eyes met, and he nodded, telling her to go ahead. She half wished that he'd change his mind and grab her, carrying her off to live in the woods. She focused on that thought as she ducked down and climbed through the hole in the fence.

"Ahh!" Katniss screamed as something grabbed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks so much to those of you who are reading.


	5. Chapter 5

Someone's large hand grabbed her face and pushed her back through the fence and shoving her into Gale. They were both caught off guard and teetered backwards.

"Haymitch!" Katniss cried when she saw his face, "what are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing? Saving your tail, as usual," he mumbled, following them through the fence. "Now go back to the woods, quickly, I'll find you there!"

There was urgency in his voice that made Katniss obey, though she wasn't accustomed to doing so. She and Gale trotted back to the tree line. When they were several yards in, they stopped, turned and waited.

"What's going on?" Gale asked.

"I've no idea."

It was only a moments before Haymitch showed up. He startled both of them. Katniss was amazed how someone who was usually so inebriated he couldn't walk straight was able to creep up so quietly. He had a small backpack in his hands. He tossed it to Katniss.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A painting kit. I thought it'd be fun to come out here and do some landscape." She rolled her eyes. She wanted answers, not jokes. "It's got some food and supplies in it."

"What's it for?" She look told him not give another funny answer.

"You." Haymitch said flatly. "Think you can make it on your own out here for a few days?"

"Of course, but…what for?"

"Still trying to figure that out. Things have been crazy since the Capitol bombing. It's best if you stay out of sight for the moment though, we all agree on that." Katniss opened her mouth, but Haymitch stopped her. "Katniss, please don't argue. Everything a mess and we haven't been able to communicate with our contacts for a day. We think we lost some of our guys in the Capitol. From what we can gather, this was a multizone strike, they hit some of our headquarters in the other districts as well. We don't know what's going on or what they know. So for now, just lay low, okay?"

She didn't want to agree, but she nodded. She'd rather stay out in the woods anyway than deal with everything happening in town. "Just tell my mom and sister I'm okay."

Haymitch nodded as he turned to leave. "All right, Hawthorne, you're with me."

"What?" Gale protested.

"The Capitol knows Katniss here is part of the rebellion, but they don't know about you. No need for a coal miner to hide. She was a weirdo recluse anyway, no one will notice her missing for awhile. You, on the other hand, have a job and a life, so let's get you back to it, shall we?" Haymitch and his trademark honesty. Brutal, but to the point. Both Gale and Katniss wanted to complain, but he was right. Haymitch grabbed Gale's arm and pulled him away. Gale silently mouthed "I love you," to Katniss and she nodded, holding on to her little pack and letting everything that just happened sink in.

Katniss cursed herself for all the questions she didn't ask. How long should she wait? When would they come get her? What was going on? Why couldn't she wait in her house? All these questions and more raced through her mind as she paced the woods. She visited several of her favorite spots before realizing it was no good. She tried to hunt, but her aim wasn't straight she was so nervous. She wasted half her quiver before she conceded it was no use. She couldn't focus, couldn't think as her mind was assaulted by questions.

She finally headed back to the cabin. That's where Gale would come for her, she assured herself. She gathered wood for a fire and opened Haymitch's pack to see what was inside. It was well into the afternoon, and past time for lunch. He had some dried fruit and meat and several packaged crackers. Since her hunting had been so horrible, she decided to make a meal of it. She made herself a small lunch and ate it next to the fire. As she stared into the flames, she tried not to remember the events that transpired the night before. She flushed as she remembered the heat of Gale's skin, the hardness of his muscles, the taste of his sweat…

What had they done? Everything just changed and it could never go back to normal. Not that she wanted things to go back to normal. She didn't like being a Capitol stooge and pretending with Peeta. Oh, Peeta, she thought. He hadn't crossed her mind at all. What would she do with Peeta? Though he knows she doesn't feel the same way about him as he does about her, she wasn't sure he'd completely given up the hope of them ever sharing a future together. She'd have to convince him of this. She wasn't sure how, though, especially if she had to keep pretending to be in love with him in the present. And Gale. How would he handle watching them together? He'd be able to, of course, however, it would probably eat him up inside.

Gale.

Katniss wasn't sure she'd be able to look at him again without blushing. How is it that his body had never seemed beautiful to her before? She'd always known he was strong, athletic, capable. But his bulging arms never made her heart flutter…the curve of his tight butt never made her blush…The cut of his abs never made her wish she could touch them. She wanted to trace every line of his body now. Memorize every crevice, every curve. Own every ounce of flesh…

Katniss shook her head, trying to release the images from her mind. But it was no good. All she could think about was Gale. She bit her lip in frustration.

She ached for his touch. She imagined his finger fluttering along her neck, sending a shiver down her spine, his strong hand grabbing her chin, guiding her lips to his, the heat that spread through her body as they kissed, their tongues flirting as they slipped from her mouth to his. His other hand was on the small of her back, his fingers tapping out a code of pleasure sent directly to her core. He worked his way up to her breast, messaging it gently, about to come down and kiss it…only he didn't. Gale wasn't really there. Katniss had to shed her outer jacket, she was getting so flushed. She pretended he was there to help her take it off. She remembered his lips finding the crook of her neck and spreading kisses up and down setting her skin on fire. She longed for more. Katniss shifted uncomfortably, half trying to ignore the yearning feeling that was starting to tug at her insides, half thinking about how to indulge it.

"If I were here, I know exactly what I'd do to you," Gale told her.

"But you're not really here," she looked at him crossly.

Katniss put her hands on her temple and pressed her head. She was never one do day dream before, never prone to fantasy. It was a waste of time, a distraction from the present.

"Do you really want me to leave you?" She imagined Gale pulling down one of her hands. He started to suck on her fingers.

"That's not nice," she told the space in which she saw him.

He grunted an affirmative sound. A strange tension was building in her body. Her toes started to twitch and she eyes rolled into her head as she succumbed to the fantasy.

She felt her skin tingle where imagined kisses were trailed on her skin. Her stomach clinched, she wanted more. A pretend kiss might have been enough to send a few sparks through her brain, but it was not enough to satisfy her. Katniss opened her eyes, frustrated, and started into the flame.

"Where are you!" She screamed into the air. She got up, stamping the floor out of spite. She needed something to do. She looked around, hoping to find something, but the room was nearly empty. She'd already collected enough firewood to last a week. She went over to the bed and made it, as she pulled the sheets to straighten them, she saw the small traces of blood that had stained the cloth. Memories of the night before came back to hit her. She quickly pulled them into place and tried to shove the memories from her mind. She felt tense, all wound up. She needed to relax. She looked again for something else to do. There were a few things she could clean, but nothing really to clean them with, and it was getting too late to go out again and try to hunt. She scanned the room, forcing herself not to look at the bed. But other than the bed, the hearth and a small table, the only thing else in the cabin was the wash bin.

A bath, yes, that would be relaxing, she thought. Katniss had never been one to indulge in baths, it was a luxury few could afford in District 12. Tepid water, harsh soaps. She used to dread bathing as a child. But it was one of the few pleasures she had while in the Capitol. Steaming showers and scented waters that never seemed to end. She collected the stones from the bottom of the tub and placed them back into the fire. She then picked up the buckets Gale had used the night before and headed out to the lake. She dipped them in the cold water and was surprised at how heavy they were. She could only manage one at a time, and it took her several trips to fill up the tub. The stones didn't seem to be quite ready, and Katniss paced the room impatiently as she waited to hear them crackle. Now glowing in the flames, Katniss excitedly pulled them from the fire and dropped them in the tub. The water hissed as the stones sank. After throwing off her clothes, she tested the water with her hand. It was comfortably warm, not quite up to Capitol standards, but it would suit her just fine. She climbed over the edge of the tub and lowered herself in. She sighed in relief as the water enveloped her body. She submersed herself for a moment, wetting her hair, and came up to recline her head against the wall.

"This was a much better idea than the bed." Katniss's eyes popped open and she saw Gale with a playful grin on his face, "Now I get to see you naked!"

"No you don't," she said audibly and slightly annoyed. "You're not here. Now go away."

"If I'm not here, how can I leave?" The grin grew wider.

Katniss did not like being out smarted by her fantasy. She let out an aggravated sigh as she splashed the water in frustration, kicking the spot where she imagined Gale to be. But he grabbed her foot and started to rub in. She imagined him kissing her legs, and her skin began to spark again.

She moaned as she sank down in the water, letting its heat be confused with Gale's. Katniss ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to hold herself in.

"You'll never get very far just rubbing your arms," Gale told her. She returned his remark with a crooked brow.

"Excuse me?"

"Here," he said, taking her hand, "let me show you." And she tried not to feel ridiculous as she allowed him to guide her hand.

Her hands dipped beneath the water and twisted down her ribs, slid over her hips and journeyed down the outside of her legs. Her fingers waltzed back up towards her hips, and slipped down to her inner thigh. She felt a faint rush and her fingers grazed that often untouched skin. She listened to the soft lapping sounds the water made and her fingers danced across her body. Her nipples began to stiffen and she felt the familiar surge of heat fill her insides. But it was a small flame, not a fire.

She called on the memories she so fiercely flung away earlier of Gale the night before. She saw him standing, strong and beautiful, she felt him touch her, softly and pleasurably, she remembered his taste, his heat, and the way he moved to make her go wild.

Her hands began to explore her inner regions. She'd never done this before, and she looked to Gale for guidance.

"Just like this, Katniss," she both heard and remembered him, "doesn't this feel nice?"

She opened the soft lips and got to know her anatomy. She'd never touched herself like this before, and already aroused, every touch sent sparks through her body. She found her clit, though she didn't know it by that name, and began to rub as Gale had done just that morning. That flame had just become a fire. She rolled her head back against the lip of the tub and let her hands find their work. She rubbed softly at first, going in different directions, but her body begged her for something faster. She quickened her pace, increased her pressure, and continued to explore, feeling like was winding up some great chord in her body. Round and round, tighter and tighter, harder and harder, faster and fast…When she could no longer stand the tension, she let loose. Pleasure rippled throughout her body. Her muscles moved without her consent. Her stomach tightened, her toes trembled, and the rest of her shivered with delight as she tried to hold on to the images of her lover in her mind.

"Gale," she groaned, feeling all this pleasure explode inside of her. "Oh, god, Gale," she whispered, reaching out to touch him. But when she opened her eyes, he wasn't there.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey beautiful, it's time to wake up," Gale said, pushing the hair out of her face as he sat on the side of her bed.

Katniss grumbled unhappily as she rolled over. When was Gale going to leave her alone? He tormented her dreams all night after the little scene in the bathtub, and she didn't appreciate being taunted again especially so early in the morning. She remembered how they'd chased each other in the forest, how he'd taken her up against a tree…she almost wanted to check and see if there were any leaves in her hair, but she knew it wasn't real.

"Go away," she mumbled through the sheets, tired of her phantom tormentor. She wanted the real Gale or no Gale.

"I can't do that," he said with a grin, "come on now, it's time tooo – " He lost his words and his balance as Katniss smacked Gale right in the face, pushing him off the bed and sending him to the floor. "Hey!"

"You're here?" Katniss cried, still trying to process if this was the real Gale before her. She grabbed his face as he tried to get up off the floor. "You're here!" she said, now believing, with her fingers on his face, that he was in fact before her.

"Yeah," he said, rubbing his knee as he got back up on the bed, "and I brought you breakfast."

He was looking at her weirdly, undoubtedly thinking about whether or not he should ask her why she pushed him off the bed. "Sorry," she said, trying to stave off the question, "I was having a weird dream." Gale nodded, not sure if he believed her. "You said something about breakfast?"

Gale got up and extended his hand to Katniss. On the blanket before the fire he had two plates laid out. On each was a small pile of eggs and some bacon.

"I slept while you were making all this?" Katniss asked, amazed.

"Yeah, you were out, what were you up to last night?"

Katniss could only blush in response.

They sat down on the blanket and dove into their meal.

Katniss couldn't believe that Gale brought real chicken eggs and bacon for her into the woods. She meant to say thank you between every bite, and ask where he got them, but she was always so eager for the next, she forgot and didn't remember until she was chewing again.

"Thank you for the breakfast," she said with a satisfied smile on her face, once she'd cleaned her plate. She got up and walked over to Gale, reaching down and kissing him. He slipped his hand up the back of her legs and over her bottom. He hooked his hands in the back of her pants and pulled her down into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her like he hadn't seen her in days.

"Miss me?" she asked in a playful tone, breaking away from his lips.

"Mmmhmm. How could you tell?"

"Wild guess," she said with a small laugh.

"Did you miss me?" Gale asked, saying each word between kisses he placed on her neck.

"Oh, no, not at all…" she shook her head.

"What?" There was a speck of genuine concern in his voice.

Katniss laughed in response, not at Gale, but at her antics the night before. Should she tell him about her fantasy in the bathtub? Or about her wild dreams that involved them chasing each other around naked in the woods? She suddenly remembered his gleaming body running through the trees, and laughed at the image, not cruelly, but full of mirth.

"What?" Gale repeated, this time with stronger tones of alarm.

"Nothing," she shook her head, "I just had strange dreams…." And she conjured the image again. "Wait?" She was suddenly distracted and her amusement faded, "why aren't you at the mines?"

Gale loosened his grip on her body. He stretched one of his arms back and shifted his wait, leaning away some. A serious shadow crossed his face, causing Katniss to tense.

"The mines are closed today," he said as if it were a normal piece of news.

Katniss's eyebrows shot up in alarm. "What? Why? Was there an accident? Did something go wrong?" she asked all the questions in one long breath, her body tense, and a million thoughts racing through her mind. Mine accidents were one of her greatest fears, she'd never be able to shake the day that her father died. Katniss wasn't certain her heart beat until Gale answered.

Gale shook his head solemnly. "No, they are searching them."

"Searching them?" she interrupted in disbelief. She had never heard of this before. "Why? For what?"

"For you," Gale said in almost a whisper.

If she had anything in her mouth right then, she would have choked on it. Her jaw dropped, and her throat struggled to find air. "For me?"

Gale nodded. "The Capitol knows you survived the raid yesterday. They are tearing apart the town right now looking for you."

"What?" She couldn't process his words. She recognized them, but they didn't make any sense.

"Congratulations, Catnip, you are now the most wanted person in all of Panen."

Katniss's head was swimming. She stumbled out of Gale's lap. He reached to steady her, but she pushed him away. Wanted? She thought, what does that even mean? Who wants me? Why? The questions pinged around her head. She felt dizzy, sick even. She tried to stand up, but had to sit back down. "Oh no," she said, over and over again, "oh no…oh no…"

"Hey, Catnip, it'll be okay," Gale consoled.

But Katniss started rocking herself back and forth, "oh no, oh no…" Gale was seriously getting worried when Katniss's eyes popped open. A thought had finally made it through her brain, "oh no!" she nearly screamed with a mix of horror and uncertainty, "what about my family!"

She leapt to her feet before Gale could think to stop her. Katniss was no longer worried about what the Capitol wanted from her, she was concerned about what they would do to her family to get to her. Her mother and Prim were completely ignorant of her involvement in the rebellion. Not that that would matter to Snow. As far as they knew, she was always off hunting in the woods. They would lie about that, because that is technically illegal. He'd torture them for fun, plaster pictures of them on live television to coax her out of hiding. And it would work too. And Peeta, what would he do to Peeta? Katniss was running out the door before Gale could say a thing to stop her. "Katniss!" his voice followed her, but she would not be stopped.

She hadn't even run for ten minutes before she was forced to stop. Looking up, she could see the great white hovercrafts of the Capitol combing the air. There were three that she could count and they were combing the forest. She and Gale had seen one once, long ago, capturing runaways out in the forest. One was speared and the other gathered up by a great claw and turned into an avox to work in the Capitol.

Thinking of those two, she froze, thinking of herself and Gale, running through the forest now. She'd have to be careful if she wanted to make it back to town. She searched the trees, trying to conjure up some plan.

"Katniss!" Gale cried, flat against another tree a yard away from her. "Come on, Katniss, we have to be careful." He motioned her to come over to him.

She looked at him and nodded. Even every impulse in her body was telling her to run for Prim, she knew she'd never make it very far with the hovercrafts patrolling the sky. Staying as close to the trees as possible, she darted over to Gale.

He didn't reprimand her for her rash behavior. Katniss knew he never would but she was still thankful not to have to hear what a stupid move she just made. They were now stuck in the middle of the woods, with untold numbers of Capitol henchmen searching for them.

"We need to find a safe place for cover," Gale said, interrupting her concentration. Gale's brows knit together, he was making a plan. Katniss didn't interrupt. His eyes darted around, taking in as much information as possible. It was clear they couldn't make it back to town, and spending too much time out in the forest was dangerous. They needed a place to hide. "See that large pine over there?" He gestured to a tree about twenty yards away. "We're going to hide up there, okay? Its branches are thick, they'll provide a lot of cover, from above and below."

Katniss looked at the tree. Gale was right. No one would be able to see them in there. Gale reached for her hand and they followed, quickly, silently, deftly, straight for the great pine. Only years of hunting together allowed their bodies to work so seamlessly in tandem. They were like one, reacting to the slightest movement other, noticing the smallest cues. On quiet, hurried feet, they made their way, jumping from shadow to shadow, tree to tree, until they found themselves at the base of the great pine.

"Up you go, Catnip," Gale said, making a stirrup with his hands to give her a leg up. She unquestioningly put her foot in his hands and grabbed his shoulders for balance as he hoisted her into the tree. Katniss was a skilled climber. She knew exactly what branches to reach for as she started to scurry up the tree. But she'd climbed only a few feet when she realized that Gale wasn't following her.

"Gale," she said through clinched teeth, trying not to scream, "what are you doing?"

"Got to clean up the cabin. If they find our stuff, they'll know we're out here." He said this as if he had to run a simply errand, like pick up some milk. There was no hint of nerves that the very same task could claim his life. Katniss cursed herself for so carelessly fleeing, putting them both in danger. He was right, and she knew it. The cabin had to be cleaned. She opened her mouth to argue. She should be the one to go, she made the mistake to running in the first place. She couldn't put Gale in danger because of her behavior.

"No time to argue.," Gale stopped her before she could even start, knowing exactly what he was going to say. "I'm faster anyway. I'll be back before you know it," he promised with a reassuring grin.

As she considered jumping out of the tree and racing him, but Gale, with the speed of a forest animal, had already disappeared from the foot of the tree and was gone.

Katniss waited in agony, fingers digging into the sappy bark of the old pine. She found a spot high in the tree where she was certain no one could see her, but she could have a view of the surrounding terrain. Her eyes frantically darted from side to side, surveying the land, waiting for any sign of Gale.

Gale is smart, he is quick, he is capable, she told herself, but the pound of her heart in her ears screamed danger. She tried not to panic when she was certain too much time had passed. But he has to dispose of everything in the cabin, she told herself, this will take some time. The food, the dishes, the fire…She made a list of everything Gale would have to do, and tired to allot the time he'd need to do it, calculating everything down to the last second. It's going to take some time. Everything is fine, a small voice in her head told her, everything is absolutely fine, he just needs time. But her heart continued to beat danger…danger…danger….

Just when she thought her heart might stop from the trepidation, she saw a small movement to the right. Only the trained eye of a hunter would have caught it, but to her, it was unmistakable. A shift of shadow by a tree…a sudden flash in the light. It was Gale. He was making his way back to her. A wave of relief washed over Katniss's body. Gale was alright; he had made it back to her.

And just when he made it close enough for her to make out the expression on his face, she heard it. Like a vacuum sucking out all the air, a metallic thud that appeared so suddenly that she couldn't even consider what it was before she saw the great claw lowering and clasping around her friend.

It was only then, when Gale was already within its grasp and a few feet up off the ground that she understood what was happening. She remembered how quickly the one had materialized that took the redheaded avox girl. And she saw quickly this one was taking Gale.

Gale didn't have to see her, hiding in the tree. But he knew she was there, and he knew exactly what she was thinking. He shook his head furiously, warning her not to. Not to do something stupid, and reckless, which of course, was exactly what she was planning.

Katniss climbed far out on one of the larger branches, just almost giving away her position, as she watched her best friend rise into the air, still telling her no!

Don't do anything stupid, Katniss, she could hear him say, you're too important to the rebellion, we can't risk losing you! And think of your mother! Think of Prim!

And she did, she thought about all these things and more, in the split second she had to make the decision that would determine the rest of her life.


	7. Chapter 7

That one second. That one second she hesitated and saw Prim's face before her. Saw her mother. And Peeta. And Haymitch and Cinna and all the other rebels she hadn't even met but had heard of and who'd said they believed in her…said that she was important…said that she was the only one…the only one who could lead this rebellion…inspire the people…be the face of the uprising…take down Snow...And in that second when she thought of all these people and how important she was to them, she knew…

That I am nothing without Gale. And she found her answer in that moment.

But in that moment, in the few seconds she needed to process all that information, Gale was gone, taken up into the underbelly of one of those white machines and flying away from her.

Katniss knew she could waste no more time thinking. It was time to act.

She jumped from the bow of the tree, landing heavily on the ground. She rolled and got up, ignoring the slight pain in her ankle and started to run. Not carefully like Gale before, but wildly and openly out in the sun, zigzagging towards town.

"Come on, you Capitol bastards, see me!" She screamed, trying to make her flight as obvious as possible. "I'm right here! Come and get me!"

One obeyed. A hovercraft had found her. She felt it above her and froze, sensing that faint hum of its engines. She'd seen these machines at work before before. Once as a child in the woods with Gale, snatching up a runaway to be turned into an avox. Several time during the Games, coming down to claim dead bodies. And just now with Gale. All these encounters did not make her afraid. She has one advantage over all its other victims. She was ready for it. As the giant claw was lowered down, Katniss carefully listened to its sounds, recalled it's movement, and just at the last second just when it was about to snatch her, she jumped to the side and lunged herself above it, clinging on to the long rope that supported the claw. She held on as it slowly retracted, every last one of her muscles at the ready, waiting to be taken inside.

She couldn't waste a second. Not again. She stared upwards, watching as the black box opening became bigger and bigger. She poised herself for the attack. She saw the white uniforms of two men by the sides of the entrance. Two, she thought, two I can take. She wouldn't have any time to second guess herself, once she was inside.

Luckily, neither of the men were looking down at her, they were turned, facing the front of the machine, presumably talking to the pilot. One of their guns was in reach.

Katniss jumped for it, taking the man by total surprise.

"What the – " he cried as Katniss yanked his weapon from his arm and sent him tumbling to the ground. The second man was running towards her now, but he had to go around the opening in the floor. This gave Katniss the momentary advantage she needed. She jumped into the craft and swung the weapon around in her hands, holding it like a great bat, and hit the man in the head, sending him too, tumbling out the hole.

The pilot looked back and panicked, "What's going on?" she heard his muffed voice cry. Katniss ran for him, holding the weapon like she knew how to use it, and pointed it at the back of his head.

"Your friends are dead," she forcefully pushed it into his skull, "now you do exactly as I say."

"Yeah, all right!"

"Did one of the other hovercrafts just pick up a man?"

"A boy?" She jabbed him again, "Yeah, a young man. They just radioed it in."

"I want you to follow them."

The pilot complied, and soon they changed direction. Katniss suddenly realized she had no way of knowing if this man was telling her the truth, and she tried to keep herself from panicking until the other ship was in view.

"That's the one he's in?" she asked pointedly.

"Yeah, I think so!" She smacked him with the gun again. "Yeah, I mean, yes. He's in there."

Okay, Katniss tried to calm herself. Now, I guess I need a plan.

But in the moment that Katniss tried to compose herself and think, the pilot must have sensed her relax. He took the wheel and thrust it upwards. The vehicle began to climb vertically, and Katniss lost her hold on the ground and went tumbling backwards. She landed smack against the opposite wall, which was now serving as the floor as they shot upwards. As she tried to think of what to do, she watched the pilot swing around, pulling something out from under the dashboard in front of him. Her brain screamed gun! Still holding the one she'd stolen from the first Peacekeeper, she aimed it at the man.

I hope this is how you use this thing, she thought as she pulled the trigger. Before she had even finished her thought the front window was sprayed with red. Great, now I have to figure out how to fly this thing…

She pulled herself to the side of the ship, grabbing onto miscellaneous parts of the wall, as she hoisted herself up to the pilot's seat. She kicked his body loose and let it sink to the back of the ship. Before her was a great display of buttons and screens, and Katniss had no idea what to do.

They couldn't keep going upwards, though, so she grabbed the wheel and thrust it back down. Her stomach did flips inside herself and the machine tumbled back down again. She reached forward and wiped as much blood from the window as possible, trying to increase her view. Where had Gale's ship gone? She panicked. She tugged at the wheel, trying to ignore her stomach as they lurched up and down, until she was able to guide the plane in what she hoped was a mostly horizontal direction. Her eyes darted from side to side as she carefully tried to turn it.

"Come on, Gale," she said audibly, "where are you?" her fingers anxiously drummed the wheel.

No sooner had she asked it, than she saw it, in the far left corner of her view. "Thank you," she whispered, trying to bring him to the center of her window by turning the wheel. Katniss had become familiar with some of its uses. Pulling back makes you go up, pushing forward makes you go down, she could spin it in all directions to go around. The other ship was now safely in front of her, but small and far away.

Well, she though, if she knew what all the other turns of the wheel did, then she wondered what pushing it inward would do…And it did exactly what she expected. Katniss was pushed to the back of her seat as her speed multiplied. She was gaining on her fellow ship, heading right for it, and suddenly she realized she needed a plan to take it down.

"Oh, god, Gale," she said as she knew what she had to do, "I hope I don't kill you…"

And she crashed her ship into its side. She tried to pull away as soon as she made contact, ripping apart its one side, sending thick, black billows of smoke into the air and watching it spiral downward.

Please don't die, please don't die, she repeated to herself as she realized her ship was still firmly in the air.

With no other idea of how to land, she took the wheel and forced it downward.

The ground came rushing up towards her and Katniss braced for impact. A jolt hit her body, shaking her bones and slamming through her. She felt like she was being ripped into little pieces when they hit. Her ears rang with pain and her sides ached, but she seemed to be intact. Now that she was on the ground and she didn't have a second to lose. She quickly, and shakily, climbed out of the ship, and spun around, looking for the telltale smoke column to guide her way. She saw it to her left, not too far away, and lunged in that direction, running, stumbling, falling, but making her way towards the burning machine.

"Gale," she screamed as soon as it was in view. "Gale," she dashed towards it, kicking in the bottom door, and forcing herself inside. The small room was filled with smoke. The two Peacekeepers, who were not buckled in, lay motionless to one side. The pilot struggled with a giant air bag in his face, and Katniss ignored them all as she looked for Gale.

She heard a moan and her eyes found him. Luckily, he'd been tied in to a seat in the wall. "Gale!"

"Katniss?" he asked groggily, trying to make sense of what was happening. "Katniss! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to save you, of course." She smiled as she struggled with the clasps that held him in place.

"But…how did you?"

"I commandeered a hovercraft and crashed it into yours," she said, trying not to sound too proud as Gale looked at her astonishedly. She'd given up on the clasps and took out her knife and cut Gale loose. She draped his arm over his shoulder and helped him climb out of the vehicle. The couple hopped down and hobbled away as it belched more smoke and flames.

"Are you okay?" she desperately asked him one they were safely several yards away.

"Yeah, I think so," he said sorely as she leaned him against a rock.

"Are you sure?" she said, not wanting to believe too soon. Her hands kept frantically searching his body for wounds, patting him up and down.

"I'm okay, Katniss, I'm okay," he assured her with a slight chucked as she spun him around, searching some more.

"I was so worried about you!" she yelled at him.

"Hey," he took her hands and locked her eyes with his, smiling as he said, "they didn't have time to do anything to me, I promise…" He took her face in his hand and brought it up to his, kissing her and telling her for certain, "I'm okay," he said breaking away. But as he did, his eyes flashed downward and the smile fell off his lips. "But you're not!" And she let her eyes drop to follow his, wondering what on earth he could mean, and for the first time she saw the spot of red growing on her side.  
"Oh my god, Katniss, you're bleeding!" he cried as he peeled of her jacket and examined the wound. Her shirt underneath was soaked with blood.

Katniss looked down in disbelief, not feeling a thing. Strange, she thought, how did that happen?

Gale carefully pulled up her shirt and looked at the cut. It was long, but not too deep. Katniss stared at his face, confused by his worried expression.

"I'm fine, Gale, don't worry." She assured him, cradling his cheek in her hand.

His eyes looked into hers, and for the life of her, she couldn't register his concern. "We need to get you help," he said, applying pressure to the wound. He looked back at the burning hovercraft, knowing medical supplies had to be in it. As he was thinking about running inside it, the machine groaned and spit flames. Part of the roof collapsed. It was a lost cause. "Where is the craft you crashed in?" he asked Katniss desperately.

She looked around. All of the woods suddenly looked the same to her. She crinkled her brow, confused. Trees in every direction. "Oh, I don't know, Gale…what does it matter?" Her head was starting to feel funny.

"Katniss!" he patted her on the face and his voice was harsh. She thought unnecessarily so. "Katniss, stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Gale, I just found you…"

"Katniss!" he screamed. She rolled her head up to look at his face, uncertain why he was acting so strangely. "This is very important. I need you to tell me where the other hovercraft crashed."

She looked at him crossly, trying to focus her eyes on him. She thought back to when she came running towards the burning craft. What position it was in. She remembered seeing its underside. "Ohh…"she looked at the hovercraft, "I guess, that way." She pointed to the woods across from the machine's bottom.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Gale, I think so."

There wasn't time to second guess her. Gale scooped her up in his arms and started running. He jumped over fallen trees and had to shuffle over a few exposed rocks. Luckily it took Gale only a few minutes to find her fallen ship.

"Jeez, Katniss," he swore as he saw it, nose buried deep in the ground. It had been quite some impact. Luckily, this machine was not on fire. He gingerly laid her down only a few yards away from it and hoped inside. He ignored the dead man and the red window and immediately searched for the medical supplies. Luckily, everything was clearly labeled, and in only moments he found a box with a big red cross on it. He snatched it and rushed back to her.

Gale ripped the medical box open, frantically searching through the supplies. His eyes darted from one thing to the next, looking for something he needed. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when a voice came from the box. The inside of the lid turned into a screen and the image of a friendly woman appeared on it.

"State the medical emergency," she commanded in a clear capitol accent.

Gale stared uncomprehendingly at it for a few minutes before he realized he realized what he was supposed to do. "Umm…" he stammered, "Cut on her side…"

"I do not understand," said the woman, "could you please repeat?"

Gale cursed loudly. He looked over at Katniss, trying to find the right words to make the woman in the box understand him. "She has a deep cut over her ribs. There is a lot of blood." He tried not to sound to panicked.

"Do you mean the patient as a laceration of the epidermis?"

Gale had no clue what that meant. He was using all the resolve he had to try not to yell at the box. "I don't know what that means," he fumbled, feeling stupid and helpless, "can you repeat? Please?" He didn't know if being polite would help.

"Epidermis means skin, Gale." Katniss said out of nowhere. She heard her mother use this word before.

"Okay, yes, she's lacerated her epidermis," he told the box, "and there is a lot of blood."

"Begin with an injection of the intravenous essentials…" Gale had no idea what that was, but he found a large syringe thusly labeled. "Insert into patient's blood stream to provide essential fluids and medicines…" He grabbed it, pulled off the cap, and stuck it into Katniss's arm.

"Oww," she reproached him, "that hurt." She still seemed oblivious to the wound in her side, however. "I'm so sorry, Gale," she muttered, looking at nothing in particular, referencing nothing in particular.

"Don't worry about it, Catnip, you'll be just fine." He shot her a reassuring look as he waited further instruction.

"Apply adhesive gauze to soak up excessive blood." Gale obeyed. "Clean area of laceration with iodine solution and wipe clean with sterile clothes." But as soon as he took off the gauze, her wound continued to bleed and this was easier said than done. Gale did his best though, one hand with the gauze trying to soak up the blood, which was lessening, and the other trying to wipe the area clean.

"Once disinfected, apply mending cream to laceration generously, ensuring that both edges of epidermis are completely covered. Then match the severed sides together and hold until cream congeals." Gale gently tried to put her skin back together and held it as carefully as he could until the cream, which was more of a clear gel, started to stiffen.

"Once cream has hardened, cover entire area with sterile adhesive gauze, then bandage appropriately to keep would clean and stable." Gale followed her instructions as quickly and carefully as he could. "Monitor patient condition and administer intravenous essentials as needed. Consult a medical professional as soon as possible."

"Sure," Gale finally breaths, "I will as soon as I find one." He looks down at Katniss. She seems calm – something in the injection probably sedated her – but she was conscious. Not exactly coherent, he would soon find out, but conscious. Alive.

"Now Gale, I want you to listen to me," she told him sternly as he carried her away from the craft and tried his best to make her comfortable, placing her head in his lap as he leaned against a tree. "Are you listening to me, Gale?"

"Yes," he said, kissing her hand and brushing her hair from her eyes.

"Good. Because I have something very funny to tell you…" She laughed for minutes, giggling like a school girl, something Katniss never did, even when she was a school girl. Then her eyes got lost somewhere in the distance. She stared, blinking like she was trying to focus. She didn't pick up her thought, and Gale wondered if he should ask her or let her be. "I don't think we'll be able to fly the hovercraft back to Twelve," she finally said, looking up to meet his eye.

He grinned and shook his head, looking over to the damaged ship, front half buried in the ground, side torn apart from her midair collisions, "No, Catnip," he agreed, "I don't think so either."

She continued to mumble and doze over the next hour. Gale attentively watched her face, looking for any sign or expression of pain. But Katniss seemed peaceful – at times confused – but peaceful as she fell asleep in his arms.

Once Katniss was asleep, Gale carefully pulled himself out from under her. He went into the shell of the ship and scavenged it for anything that might be useful to them. He found two supply packs, with water bottles, food, weapons, even a couple of blankets. He filled them with everything possible, and packed the medical kit too, hoping they wouldn't need it again.

He carried the supplies deeper into the forest. He was wary of staying too close to the hovercrafts for too long. There was no telling when other Capitol agents would come to recover them. He found a big tree that looked like it would give them shelter. It was near an outcropping of rocks as well, which would be a good place to hide, if that were necessary. Gale thought about Katniss's condition, and hoped it wouldn't be. Once he'd hidden the packs and supplies amonst the rocks, he went back to retrieve Katniss.

And his heart nearly burst when he realized she wasn't there.

"Katniss!" he screamed. If Peacekeepers had taken her, he wanted them to hear and come back for her. "Katniss!" he started running, alarmed, a thousand horrible thoughts tearing around his head, eyes searching every direction. His ears honed in on something to the left. He immediately looked in that direction.

"Katniss!" he screamed so loudly she had to stop.

"Calm down, calm down," she held her hand up as if to stop him, "I just had to pee."

"Damn it, you scared me!"

"I had to pee!"

"Okay, okay…" he calmed himself, "I'm sorry."

She shook her head, stumbling slightly, and he rushed over to steady her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" she insisted.

"No you're not. You're actually quite badly injured."

"No," she stubbornly insisted as she limped towards him, "I'm fine."

"Yeah?" his voice teased, "then why are you limping?" There was a wicked smile on his face.

Katniss's hand shot immediately to her side and she tried to straighten herself.

"Katniss, please," Gale insisted, seeing her struggle, "let me help you."

He went over to her. But she shook her head. "I can do it!"

"I know. I just want to help you."

She looked up at him, eyes revealing the thoughts tugging at her mind. "Well, only if it will make you happy."

"Very happy," he played along. She looked like she hadn't made her final decision; a slight scowl on her face that Gale thought was adorable. She looked about like she was considering this very deeply, then nodded. Gale gently scooped her up in his arms. "Better?" She nodded at again vaguely, as if it really didn't matter. And her carried her to the spot he'd set up by the tree.

Gale didn't want to risk making a fire because he knew the Peacekeepers would come eventually for the fallen ships. And he was right. No less than an hour after they made came did they see two more hovercrafts enter the area. They heard the distance voice of Peacekeepers patrolling the area, but they crouched low in the rocks and were never seen. Gale insisted they stay low until they were certain the Peacekeepers were gone. Katniss agreed and fell asleep in his arms. He held her close and cursed himself for letting anything bad happen to her.

She didn't wake up until well after dark.

"Is it safe?" she asked groggily.

"I think so," Gale said, having been alert the past few hours. "I haven't heard anything for quite a while."

Katniss rose from his arms and stretched, stopping suddenly when she felt the pain in her side. "I forgot about that," she said stiffly, as she her hand instinctively went to it. Gale frowned at her, but her face told him it was okay. "How long was I out?"

"A good few hours, I think."

She nodded.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine."

He looked to her eyes to see if she was telling the truth. "Not too much pain?"

She shook her head. "I've had worse."

Gale didn't like the ambiguity of her answer but accepted. "Are you hungry?"

"Always."

Gale pulled some food out of one of the packs. It was strange processed Capitol food that had a strange texture but tasted good.

"I think mine tastes like lamb," Katniss said through a giggle.

"Lamb?" Gale threw her a quizzical look. "When did you have lamb?"

"At the Capitol."

"Ahh," Gale nodded.

"Here, want to try it," she brought the bar up to his mouth. Gale looked suspiciously at it and took a little bite.

"That's not half bad," he agreed.

When she finished she leaned in and kissed Gale. It was at first sweet, then sensual. Their lips worked against one another's. Each taking the other in and giving a little bit of themselves.

"What are you thinking about?" Gale asked.

She replied with a knowing smile.

"Katniss, you're hurt…"

"Yeah, but I'm not dead," she said, starting to pull off his shirt.


	8. Chapter 8

"Katniss, we need to be careful…" Gale insisted.

She rolled her eyes.

"I just don't want to hurt you…" He said between her frantic kisses, trying to pull away from her hungry lips, "after everything that's happened today…." Her mouth stopped his from talking.

"After what's happened today? Gale?" her tone was strong, "What happened today? I became a wanted criminal, I watched you get taken, thinking I may have lost you forever, I hijacked a hovercraft, killed its crew, chased after you, collided into you, crashed in to the ground, pulled you from burning wreckage, and had minor surgery…Am I forgetting anything, oh yeah, and I peed in the woods…You and I both nearly died at about three times today, and we thought we lost the other for good at least once. You're telling me that after all of that, you don't want to enjoy yourself a little?"

Gale didn't say another word.

He carefully laid her down on the blanket and gave into her kisses. One hand slid under her shirt on the opposite side of her wound. With one hand supporting him above her, his other found its way under her bra. Gale moaned as he reached her breast. Holding it and squeezing it slightly, like it was a button to his pleasure instead of hers. He gently removed her shirt and tossed it on the ground beside his. Katniss's fingers tangled in his hair and guided his head as his lips showed their affection. The tiniest touch made her shiver. She felt like he was tracing dots of fire across her skin. Every movement made her want more.

She tried to lean forward to kiss him, but the pain in her side prevented her. Gale reacted immediately to the sign of discomfort. "Don't," he said, pushing her back down tenderly, "let me." Katniss met his eyes and nodded. She made herself comfortable and let Gale go to work. His kisses went lower and deeper. Each one like a stone thrown in the water, causing great ripples of pleasure to pulse through her body, growing bigger and bigger. She was hardly aware when Gale removed her pants, and moaned as he caressed her inner thighs. His lips soon followed in his fingers' wake as his hands moved northward. His fingers quickly found her clit and started dancing across it. Katniss was unable to stop the sounds that escaped her. She stopped thinking in words as her whole body filled with desire. Gale's movements were steady and strong, but Katniss soon found herself craving more. Guided by the looks on her face, Gale now knew she was ready.

His fingers were nothing compared to his tongue. Faster and softer and deeper. Katniss felt like he was exploring parts of her body that she hadn't even known about before…making her experience types of pleasure she hadn't known about either. Her breaths melted with her moans and she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She felt like Gale was pulling every part of her body to her center and it was about to overload. She started to tremble, her body desperately seeking some rhythm. Her senses were heightened and every movement Gale made she felt tenfold. The smallest caress, swiftest flick and she was hit with the full impact of ecstasy. And just when she thought nothing would be able to quell the flames that were coursing through her body, Gale did something, a movement she couldn't register, but it let unlocked the floodgates and poured over her body, quenching the fire and filling her with satisfaction.

Katniss waited for her body to reconnect to her brain. She was certain if she told it to do anything now, it wouldn't listen. She felt like she'd melted into a puddle of pleasure, and she didn't know if she'd come together again.

"Was that good?" Gale asked with a grin, as he took his place beside her, placing a sweet kiss on her forehead. She turned over on her good side and looked at him. Her lips told her how happy she was, but not with words.

She made a move to get on top of him, ready to return the favor, but her hand shot to her side and her body protested in pain.

Gale's arms rushed to support her. "No, I can do it," she protested it.

"I know, but you don't have to."

"I want to," she emphasized. "And it's only fair."

"I'll take a rain check, okay?"

Katniss thought about this for a moment and agreed. She snuggled down next to him, finding comfort in the space between his arms and sleep between the first few beats of his heart.

"Hey," Gale said when Katniss opened her eyes. She shifted her head upwards to meet his eyes. One of his hands was tangled in her hair, stroking her head. She almost purred at the feeling. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Happy," she smiled. "And you?"

"Very." He leaned down a little and kissed her forehead. He started to slide away from her, about to get up, but her fingers quickly pulled him back to her. She trapped him in a smoldering kiss.

"Now you can get up," she allowed, finally breaking away.

"Want any breakfast?"

"Of course!" she said, rising. She felt a faint ache in her side as she moved, but tried not to reveal her pain. Gale pulled two meal bars out of his pack and handed her one.

When they finished, Gale got up and surveyed the area some. He finally asked the question both of them were trying to avoid. "So," he said with a faint grin, "any idea which direction home is?"

Katniss took a long drink of water and shook her head. "The crash was in that direction," she pointed, "but both crafts were spinning when they went down. I'm not entirely sure it means anything."

Gale agreed. "I'm going to climb up," he gestured to a tree, "see if I can see anything." He dropped out of the tree a few minutes later.

"See anything?" she sounded hopeful. But Gale shook his head.

"Only more trees..in every direction."

"Here," Katniss said, standing up, "Let me try."

"No," Gale's tone was final. "You're hurt, you shouldn't be climbing."

"I'm fine," she dismissed him with a wave of her hand, "plus, I can get up higher than you."

Gale tried to protest a few more times, but Katniss went forward, scoping out a large tree. She finally found a huge, old oak.

"I don't like this, Katniss…"

"I didn't ask if you did," she reminded him. She looked up the tree, studying it's branching, trying to find the best route. There were lots of good climbing branches. She could get very high up in this one. But the lower branches were too high for her. "Are you going to help me?" She commanded Gale.

He shook his head as he reluctantly came to her side. He grabbed her hips and effortlessly boosted her up in the tree. The lowest branch was easily within her reach now. Katniss grabbed on and swung her leg up to it, pulling her body along. A sharp pain shot though her side, but she was careful not to acknowledge while so close to Gale.

"Don't worry," she reassured him as she pulled herself higher.

Gale frowned. "Just be careful, okay?"

Her eyes registered his concern. She nodded to let him know she was taking him seriously before climbing upward.

"I'm not sure I can catch you if you fall." His tone was only half joking.

Gale paced nervously around the base of the tree as Katniss made her ascent. A part of her enjoyed seeing him fret so much over her, another part of her felt bad to see him so worried; a third part wonder if she should be more worried. She nimbly made her climb, dragging herself high into the branches. As the thicker, sturdier branches thinned, Gale called something to her. She couldn't make out what he said though. She knew she must be high. She was still on eye level with most of the forest though, and knew if she could make it up 20 more feet, she might have an opportune perspective. She also knew that a fall from this height meant certain death. She carefully hugged the trunk, which was now almost small enough for her hands to touch around, and inched her way upward. Gale shouted something from below. She quickly hopped from branch to branch, not wanted to stay on any too long, unless her full weight might snap it. There was one last giant branch above her, if she could make it there, she could probably shimmy out on it to get a good view. She made careful work. There were only a few branches between her and it. None of them were very big. One snapped as she placed her foot on it, plummeting earthward. Katniss's eyes followed it. She felt sick as she looked down. It was very very far. Gale was only a tiny dot now. She forced herself to look up. Only a few more feet. She carefully stretched out to grab the next branch. The injured muscles in her side protested as she tried to reach. She cursed them and ignored the pain. Her fingers barely grasped the tree. She needed to inch up just a little further...

Her hands desperately clung to the branch. She'd lost her footing and now only had the slender branch above her and the tree trunk vertical to her for support. She held her feet tight against the tree and willed strength into her fingers, trying to pull herself up. Pain shot through her side as she strained to hold on. She didn't have long to think about what to do. In a desperate move, she swung herself out and grabbed hold of the tree with her thighs. She was then able to shimmy herself up a few inches, and get a better hold of the branch above her. Once she was able to wrap her arms around it, she knew she was safe. She pulled herself on to the branch, throwing her legs over it and holding tightly to the tree. She'd stretched her wound too much, maybe even tore it a bit as she rubbed against the tree. She held on until she could compose herself again. Then she looked up and saw her final destination in view. The last, large arm of the tree, jutting out over the forest canopy. Katniss didn't look down as she hopped over to it. She sat over it, and scooter herself out as far as she could.

_That wasn't so hard_ , she told herself smugly. She thought about standing up, if it could gain her a better view, and smiled as she thought about the fight it would give Gale. But he was already worried enough, and, to be honest, so was she. Katniss had to force herself not to look down. And, even at this vantage point, all she could see was more and more trees. Hills and trees, extending, it look like, in miles in every direction. No sight of Twelve or a base or anything helpful from up there.

_Crap_ , she thought,  _now I have to get back down_. She made a slow and careful descent, never letting go of the trunk, never looking down, only around her to take the safest route. After several minutes, Gale's words became clear to her again. When she felt she was a safe distance from the ground, she took a little more risk in her moves, jumping from branch to branch, and letting go of the tree entirely for moments. Finally, she landed next to Gale on the ground.

She smiled up at him triumphantly, shaking off some of the dirt from her knees.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Don't yell, I'm fine."

"You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"But I didn't!"

He knew she was right, there was no reason to yell. "God, you scared me."

She grabbed his face and pulled it to hers so their foreheads were touching, and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm fine," she whispered and placed a kiss on his lips.

"I know," Gale pulled her safely into his arms. She had to admit she loved the way it felt. "I know…"

The stood like this more a few moments before Gale let her go. "Did you see anything?" he asked hopefully .

"Just lots and lots of trees."

"Damn."

She nodded.

Gale paced around for a few moments, deep in thought. He finally picked up a stick and strode over to her. He motioned to her to crouch beside him on the ground.

He took the stick and drew a little map in the dirt. "Okay," he spoke aloud as he worked it in his head. "This is what we know. Your craft landed here," he placed a little stone down to indicate it, "and mine here," another stone, "and we're here now," he pointed with his stick. Katniss nodded. "If we assume that the hovercrafts were headed back towards a base of some type, that would most likely be heading west of District 12, right?"

"Unless there is some secret base outside the limits of Panem, to the east."

Gale frowned as he thought of this. "Possible," the idea didn't sit well in his head. "So, if your craft went down before mine. We have to assume that yours is this one," he indictaed the pebble to his left," and mine fell second, traveling a bit further west," and he points to the pebble to his right, "making this direction, west," he traces a W in the dirt next to the pebble that represents his ship. Katniss nods, following his logic, but also knowing it might not be right. "And that way," he looked up, "is east…back to District 12." He scratched in an E on that side. Gale's eyes met hers, looking for confirmation.

"That makes sense," she offered.

"But it could be wrong," he finished her though.

"It could be wrong," she agreed. "But I don't have any better ideas," she added, a bit more hopeful.

Gale had a distant look in his eye, trying to work everything out in his brain. He finally nodded, unable to add any more.

"So, that direction?" She said, getting up and pointing east. She didn't know how much more could be gained by waiting and wondering.

Gale was slower to get up. His eyes held on to the map he'd made in the ground, begging them to offer him more information.

"I guess," he reluctantly said. Katniss reached back for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He accepted it, and after picking up their packs, they head off in what they hoped was the right direction.

* * *

Katniss and Gale walked all day. She tried to keep up with him, but as he was stronger and less injured than her, it was difficult. He slowed his pace because of it, not that he'd ever admit it, to spare her pride. Katniss was breathing heavily and moving slowly, but she tried her best to look normal whenever Gale looked back at her. With her injured side and after her adventure in the tree earlier, she was exhausted and practically collapsed when they decided to make camp. Gale gave her a water bottle and let her rest as he gathered some wood for a small fire and set up camp.

"Let me see," Gale said, looking at her side when he finished building the fire.

"No, it's fine," Katniss scoffed between heavy breaths. But as she looked down, she realized she was cradling her side unknowingly, and Gale had clued into her pain. She nodded, somewhat unhappily. Gale came over and crouched next to her. Katniss slowly pulled up her shirt.

"I think you tore it open climbing the tree," Gale said with a frown. Katniss wanted to deny this and argue, but she knew there was no point. He pulled the medical kit from his pack and began to clean the wound. She winced a little as the antiseptic burned the area clean. "Sorry," Gale whispered as he finished wiping and applied a fresh bandage. He looked around her body, finding several other minor cuts and scratches. He cleaned those as well. "Good as new," he said brightly when he finished, looking up into Katniss's eyes. She didn't return his happy glance, but sank into his arms for comfort. She was exhausted and her whole body hurt. She was sore from the crash, the slice across her ribs throbbed in pain, her legs ached from so much walking. Gale held her for a few minutes, gently rubbing her back and trying to make her body more comfortable. She let out an exasperated sigh and finally looked up. "Do you want some food?" he asked sweetly. She nodded. Gale pulled out two more meal bars and handed her one.

"We should hunt tomorrow," she said, "while we can. We don't want to waste this food if we don't have to." Gale agreed.

When the finished, Gale spread out the blankets and they snuggled close for comfort and sleep. Katniss was so tired she was out before Gale had even situated himself comfortably. He looked down at her small, sleeping form lovingly and gently kissed her cheek before reclining his head and finding sleep himself.

The morning birds woke both of them early. The forest was misty and gray and still quite chilly at this time of day. Gale, who still wasn't entirely convinced having Katniss with him wasn't a dream, squeezed her tightly and drew her in for a kiss.

"Hey," she said fondly as she pulled away, caressing his face.

"Hey," he returned with devotion. They each helped the other wake up, sharing touches and kisses.

After a few minutes of this, Gale pulled off the covers and got up as Katniss scooted out from under him.

"Oh my god, Katniss, you're bleeding!" Worry was written all over Gale's face as he looked down at the red smear that appeared under Katniss as she moved. Both Gale's and Katniss's eyes look down to her bandaged side, but there is no fresh blood from her wound. It was clean. Gale looked alarmed, trying to understand the source of the blood, but Katniss realized what was happening.

She swore loudly and she looked between her legs. The blood soaked through her underwear, smeared between her legs. She knew exactly what this was.

"Don't worry," she told him, trying to give him a reassuring smile. The worry didn't leave Gale's face. She reached out and cupped his chin in her hands. "This is a good thing….kind of…"

"But Katniss…" his voice was still concerned, "you're bleeding! What's wrong?!"

"Nothing wrong," she said in an unpleasant tone, "I'm just a girl."

And realization slowly dawned behind his eyes. Gale had uncertain knowledge about these things. But Katniss's look confirmed what he was thinking. "Are you okay?"

"It's not fun, but I usually survive."

"Is there…is there…anything I can do for you?" Gale didn't know much about women's cycles. His mother never talked to him about it and Posy was far too young for it to be an issue. He only had the most basic knowledge about women's cycles, and that was hardly anything.

Katniss just shook her head and pushed him away. She didn't like to talk about it, think about it, and she especially didn't like to deal with it. "I'm going to go clean up," she told him, and walked in the direction of the small creek they'd found the other evening. She cleaned herself up as best she could and returned to camp.

Gale opened his mouth but she raised her hand to silence him. "I don't want to talk about it," she snapped.

"I was just going to ask if you wanted breakfast," he said submissively as he showed her the two small birds he was roasting over the fire.

"Oh…yeah, breakfast would be good."

Gale looked at her quizzically, unsure what to say. He was beginning to understand some of the jokes his classmates made about their girlfriends and teenage sisters. He gingerly handed Katniss one of the cooked birds and they both ate in silence.

"Well, are we going?" She yelled at him as he sat there after he finished the bird.

"Oh..." he fumbled with his words, "I didn't know if you would…um…want to walk today."

"There's nothing wrong with my legs," she glared at him, "or with me, for that matter!"

"I know!" he tried to recover, "I didn't mean to imply that…I just didn't know….know if you were…feeling okay."

"Of course I'm not feeling okay!" she stormed, "but that doesn't mean I'm an invalid!" She got up and started to walk. "Are you coming?" Gale scrambled to gather their supplies and follow her.

He slowly learned that nothing he did was going to make her happy. He if walked too slowly, she was insulted because she thought he thought she couldn't keep up, and if he walked too quickly she was mad he was being insensitive.

The next day wasn't any better. Katniss felt a little bad about being so moody and snapping at Gale. She'd always prided herself in hiding her irritation during this time of the month, but she only did this so that no one would know what was happening. Now that Gale knew, she couldn't be bothered to try and cover it up.

Gale was at a loss because he didn't know what to do. He wanted to help, but he'd never been told or talked to a girl about this sort of thing before. He wanted to understand, but whenever he tried to ask Katniss questions, she got upset.

On the third day, she didn't seem quite so grumpy. When they made camp in the evening, Gale tentatively tried to rub her shoulders. For the first time, she didn't reject him. "How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously as he massaged her.

"Okay, I suppose," she scoffed.

"It doesn't…it doesn't hurt, does it?"

"It's more uncomfortable now. But sometimes the cramps get pretty bad."

"How long does it last?"

"About a week."

"And when did you start?"

"When I was thirteen."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault," she said with a small laugh. She turned to him and ran her fingers through his hair. "Anyway, it's better than a baby."

Gale nodded as she took his face and kissed him.

They continued for several more days, and were making much better time as Katniss's wounds healed and mood improved. But on the tenth day of their hike, the skies darkened.

"It looks like it's going to rain," Gale frowned after they stopped for lunch.

And just then it started to pour. In seconds, they would be drenched. Gale grabbed Katniss's hand and led her under a large tree. Its thick, heavy branches provided them with descent cover from the storm, though they were both already dripping.

"Great," Katniss scoffed as she turned to look at Gale, "what are we going to do now?" She hated the idea of wasting a day. Gale agreed.

Gale smiled and looked at Katniss curiously. "Rain check," he almost laughed.

"What?" Katniss was genuinely confused.

"Rain check," he repeated, looking at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

She was about to ask him what he meant when he spun her against the tree. His one hand cradled her back while the other undid her pants and pushed them down. Gale moved so quickly Katniss wasn't sure what he was doing until she felt him hard against her. She had to admit she was turned on by his command and easily excited since it'd been a week since they'd done this.

"Oh," she breathed with the same smile on her lips now. She could hardly believe he was this hard already. She started to undo his pants and reached down to hold it and begin with their usual foreplay. But Gale was beyond that. He'd waited patiently for a week, now he was ready. He wanted her. He knocked Katniss's hand out of the way and put his to her privates. He began titillating her a bit, warming her up. She responded quickly to his touch, having missed it so. She reached up to kiss him, but before she could, Gale spun her around. He wasn't interesting in their normal love making session. Katniss now hugged the tree, her cheek pressed against it tightly. She was about to ask Gale what he was doing, but before she could, he thrust himself inside her, fully and deep. Her body tensed for a moment, not accustomed to this position or the swiftness with which he entered. She moaned into the bark, digging her nails into the tree.

"You like that?" Gale breathed into her hair. He didn't wait for her to respond before thrusting again. Katniss had never done this vertically before and was not used to Gale's roughness. She hardly had time to process what she thought or what she felt before Gale increased his rhythm. Despite her uncertainty and initial discomfort, part of her liked this less tender side to love making. No, they weren't making love. Gale was taking her. Making her his. And she loved it. It tapped into something more innate, more animal. No time wasted with kisses or caresses. This was raw.

Gale grunted as he made his fast, hard rhythm deep into her body. His hands held her hips and she desperately clung to the tree as she took him, biting her lower lip and trying not to scream until he finished. And when he did, he wrapped his arms around her, crossing her front, pulling her back tightly to him, and let his head rest on her shoulder, utterly spent.

He stayed there for a minutes, letting both their bodies calm and minds return to them. When he did, the slowly pulled out and she spun around in his arms, looking up at him. His eyes had the look of an apology in them. He didn't know if he'd been too forceful, if he'd been too rough. If she'd even liked it. Katniss didn't want to spoil the moment with softness just yet. She reached up and grabbed Gale's face and kissed him, making him fully aware just how much she enjoyed what has just happened. She hooked her legs around his waist and pulled herself up to him. He rushed to support her wish his strong arms. Eye to eye now, she kissed him again. Not sweetly, but urgently again, tapping into that same primal instinct, that urge to be together and satisfy a basic, bodily need.

The rain raged on for the rest of the day, and both Gale and Katniss would agree that their day was not wasted.


	9. Chapter 9

Gale held Katniss tightly in his arms as the two lovers slept under the old tree that shook hours earlier before their making love. One of his hands tangled in her hair, pressing her to him, as if desperate the two could become one in sleep as well as in love, as the other held her safely to his chest. Her eyes closed, ear to his heart, comforted, if only unconsciously, by its strong beat . As the sun rose and warmed them, consciousness began to pull at Gale. He reached forward to kiss Katniss on her forehead. As the tendrils of sleep fell from him, he squeezed her body to make sure he wasn't dreaming that she was there.

They kissed and cuddled and nuzzled and coddled each other until Gale turned around, pulling Katninss underneath him. He covered her with warmth and kisses.

"You're dirty," Katniss said, now awake and looking at Gale.

"I can be if you want me to be," Gale whispered mischievously into her ear.

"No!" she chuckled, pushing him back with a smile on her face. "You're actually dirty." Her eyes darted down. They were both speckled in dirt and mud. Realization dawned in Gale's face and he laughed.

"I see," he said matter-of-factly as he pulled a wet leaf from Katniss's hair. In one fluid movement, he jumped up. Katniss couldn't help but smile to see him standing, fully erect. Gale lowered one of his hands to her, completely disregarding his stiff member, comically pointing the way, offering the help her up. She looked at him curiously before taking it.

Gale playfully pulled Katniss up. He brought her into his strong arms, and tenderly. Katniss returned passionately and couldn't help but chuckle to herself when she felt him pressing hard against her leg. She looked down at it, reaching to stroke him as Gale returned her playful glance. But as she was about to grab him, Gale took her hand in his. Katniss looked up at him, confused. He didn't often reject her advances. But a knowing smile was traced across his lips.

Her hand in his, Gale led her away from the tree, slowly at first, but then more quickly and Katniss had to jog to keep up. Even though she knew no one was around to see them, she blushed as they ran naked through the forest.

Katniss was just about to stop and ask him where they were going when it became clear. The trees thinned and a small pond appeared in the clearing. Gale slowed to a stop as they reach the lakes edge. They looked at each other and smiled. Hand in hand, they ran towards the lake, simultaneously jumping in and making a large splash.

They were both laughing as they came up for air. Gale reached out to pull Katniss towards him, but she playfully pushed away, softly kicking against his strong chest. Taken off guard, Gale's reflexes were slow, and she was able to twist her foot from his grasp before he was able to get a hold on her. Pushing against him, she shot off several feet away.

"You want to play, Everdeen?" Gale called to her as she emerged from the water.

Katniss's eyes burned with the challenge. She was never one to back down. She nodded. But something else was burning in Gale's.

Stronger and faster than she, Gale dove in her direction. Katniss quickly tried to swim away, but it was no use. Gale was on top of her in no time. She tried to twist and squirms away, but Gale held strong. Katniss tried her hardest to wriggle loose. She dove, but Gale grabbed her foot and pulled her back in. She splashed him, pushed him, and in a fit of frustration, even hit Gale a bit harder than she meant to.

"Well, if that's how you're going to be…" Gale said between gasps of air as he tried to keep his head about water and wrestle Katniss. Her new assault changed the rules. Katniss met Gale's eyes with a steely stare. She dared him, and his look accepted her challenge. But Katniss slowly realized that Gale wasn't going to let her win, and before she could figure out what he was going to do, her body involuntarily jerked and she let out a scream.

He was tickling her.

"Stop!" she spat between gulps of air and water. But Gale didn't heed her pleas. His hands when to her ribs, fingers dancing across her skin, pinching, poking, playing with her until she surrendered.

"Stop!" she screamed as she laughed, "stop, stop, please!"

"You surrender?" Gale's tone was serious.

Katniss had to calm her giggling. She tried to take the opportunity to pull away, but Gale's grasp was firm.

"Do you surrender?" His strong arms pulled her in. She was no match for his strength.

Katniss's smile began to fade. She didn't like to lose, and hoped a bit of pouting would soften her challenger. But Gale didn't budge. She rolled her eyes. "Fine," she conceded.

Gale loosened his grip and let his hands slid down her body and wander over her curves. He leaned in to lightly kiss her neck, a sensation that always seemed to make Katniss purr.

"Now just want exactly do you think you're doing," she teased him, pulling away.

"Collecting my winnings."

"Oh yeah? I don't recall agreeing to these terms…" She looked down and saw Gale's stiff erection under the clear water. She reached out and barely flicked the tip. Gale's eyes closed as he was overcome with the sensation. Desire burned in his cheeks and a smile spread across his face. Katniss had her opportunity. She darted away, swimming a few yards out of Gale's reach. But Gale was a fast, strong swimmer. Before Katniss knew it, Gale had overcome her. She shrieked with laughter as he grabbed her, pulling her in his arms.

"You're mine now," he purred into her ear as he held her close. She felt his strong arms rippling around her, the muscles taught as he pressed her to him. Below, she felt the pressure from his stiff, erect member pushing into her side.

"And what do you going to do with your winnings?" Katniss purred back at him, with a seductive smile.

Gale pushed Katniss's legs above his hips which she happily entwined around him. He planted his feet on the ground and began to walk towards the edge of the lake. Before Katniss knew it, she was backed against a smooth, soft rock that was warmed by the mid-morning sun. Gale was suddenly on top of her. His lips fervently found hers and they were one. Her hands searched the muscles of his back, looking for some sort of hold. Gale's soft lips found hers and they meshed into one, tongues tingling. Gale's hand moved south, he gently messaged her breasts, savoring every second of pleasure they afforded him. Katniss couldn't help but be excited by the revel he took in her body. Or her in his. She traced the defined lines of his muscles. She felt so small as he stood against her. She couldn't help but feel safe.

His lips soon followed in the wake of his fingers. He sucked each of her nipples until they were hard. He playfully flicked them with his tongue, and Katniss shivered with desire. The tension was almost too much. She took her hand and began to stroke Gale. He was already hard, but somehow, he appeared to become harder, bigger in her hand. He wanted to be inside her, and she knew it. She wanted it too.

Gale was suddenly so close, Katniss could no longer tell if she was touching her body or his. He slid his hand down to her privates and spread her open, ready to enter. She couldn't help but moan as she felt him slide within her. Not tight, but full – fulfilled. She reclined against the rock, and Gale was able to position himself comfortably, thrusting himself slowly at first, but then faster and faster, harder and harder. Katniss searched his back for some sort of foundation to hold on to. Her legs rose to enclose his hips, and he went deep inside her. She couldn't keep quiet as he reached this deep, intimate part of her body. Privileged moans escaped her lips, and Gale's grunts matched. His rhythm quickened. She lay down against the rock, her body moving to take his, meet him, as her thrust drove her closer to the edge. Katniss hooked her arm around his neck, fighting, afraid she might slip away if she didn't hold on to him. Together their two bodies went, up and down, in and out until they melted into one.

Katniss's muscles started to contract. They rippled with pleasure, and Gale knew she was in the throes of pleasure. He looked down lovingly at her face, her eyes closed and lips smiling, her lips reaching for his. He returned to meet hers. Their bodies continued in their joint lovemaking. Gale focused on giving Katniss pleasure, and Katniss reveling in her own. Just as Katniss was about to come, Gale slowed his back, leaving her waiting for more.

"No, don't stop," she begged him, her lips against his ear.

Gale could only moan in response. Pleasure coiled inside both of them. Gale tried to restrain himself, but he couldn't...not after waiting so long to make Katniss his. He heeded her pleas and moved in a way he knew she'd love.

He increased his pace as Katniss moaned, "yes...yes...yes!" Her excitement turned him on more than anything and he too was coming close to finishing.

He could hardly help himself, and he soon came, collapsing on top of her as she too felt pleasure rippling through her. Gale laid he head on her chest, and he held him close. He could feel her heart racing and was almost certain it beat perfectly in time with his.

* * *

Katniss began to stir in the warm pool of light. She slept, stretched out on the rock where she and Gale had made love only an hour earlier. She fell asleep as he held her. The warmth of the rock in the sun substituted for his body heat and kept her comfortable. She stretched out before she opened her eyes and felt the empty space. Her brain finally registered his absence.

She bolted up, panic jerking her fully awake. She quickly sat up and began looking around, heart racing,  _where is Gale?_ Her eyes scanned the perimeter, mind racing, wondering what could have happened. _Surely,_  she though,  _if something bad had happened, I would have heard it._ But that thought was not enough to allay her fears.

But then she saw him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his body. He was washing their clothes in the lake and hanging them to dry on the branches of a nearby tree. She took a deep breath and let her nerves settle. He went to the water's edge and bend down, submerging the clothes and knocking them against a rock, submerging them again. She propped herself up for a moment to enjoy the view. Sometimes, she couldn't believe how she never noticed it before: Gale was beautiful. Every muscle on his body was strong and well defined, from his calves to his shoulders. He was like a statue come to life. A delicious smirk crossed her lips.

She quietly crept up behind him as he was hanging his pants in the tree. She treaded lightly as not to make a sound. Katniss was only inches away from him, and he still hadn't noticed. She reached out to hug him from behind, and laughed as she felt Gale jump. She'd successfully spooked him.

"Damn it, Katniss," he muttered as her turned around, taking her arms in his and returning her embrace.

"I got you, didn't I?"

"Yeah," he sheepishly admitted, "just a little bit." He lovingly kissed her forehead as his strong hands rubbed up and down her back.

"Please," she scoffed. "I got you good." Her ear close to his chest, she heard him lightly chuckle as she said that. Katniss held him there for a moment, feeling so content in his strong arms listening to his stead heart. She wondered if there was anything more steady in the world that it. She finally willed herself to pull away, just enough to look up into his eyes and around at the laundry hanging in the trees.

"What?" he asked, knowing that look meant something was working in her mind.

She smiled faintly and shook her head. "What did I do to deserve you?" she said in a tone just serious enough to alert his attention.

"Katniss - "

She put her finger to his lips, knowing how he'd only dismiss her. Gale's brows knit together in a little frown. Katniss knew he wouldn't let that comment go easily. Her fingers moved from his lips, softly tracing across his face, over his cheeks and tucking his hair behind his ears. His face in her hands, she quickly pulled herself up, standing on tip toes to reach his face and kissed him. Softly at first, and then more passionately. Katniss's passion quickly spread to Gale. His hands began rubbing her back more fervently. He finally reached down to her butt and pulled her up, holding her against his middle as she wrapped her legs around his hips for extra support.

After a few minutes, Gale began to walk them, still holding Katniss, back towards the lake, and set her down on a smooth rock. And the two continued to kiss and cuddle in the sun.

It wasn't long until Katniss felt something poking into her side.

"Didn't we do this already?" she said with a small laugh.

Gale only nodded as a small sound of pleasure escaped his lips in between the kisses he placed on Katniss's neck.

"What?" she said, trying not to sound like she was enjoying herself too much, "you think you're going to get lucky twice in one day?"

She could only feel Gale nod this time. His face moved up and down over her breast before he went down to kiss each one again.

Katniss couldn't help but find it cute to see Gale so vulnerable – so open about his wants. Usually, he was solid, immovable. Such a stoic, composed man. Nothing affected him.

"I guess you did do laundry," she said playfully, trying to pretend like she didn't really want him.

"I did," he whispered between kisses, "and I caught dinner."

"Oh?" She laughed. She felt foolish and silly and girly. And loved it.

Gale played along with her reluctance. He continued to kiss her neck and moved down to her breasts, then placed a few sweetly on her stomach before scooting back. His hands softly moved up and down the outside of her thighs. Her legs were placed together when they were lying next to each other kissing. But Gale had just moved so he was sitting next to her, and his fingers were slowly moving inwards as he continued to kiss her stomach and breasts. Katniss knew he wanted her to spread them, but she was in a mischievous mood for some reason. Gale tried to slide his hands between her thighs now, and she clamped together.

"Oh, that's not nice."

Katniss giggled as he looked at her with an expression somewhere between a scowl and a pout.

But she was unforgiving and shook her head.

Gale sat up and pushed himself down below Katniss's knees. She put her knees up, but remained lying down. She gave Gale a daring look. And he accepted.

Gale attempted to pull her legs apart again, but Katniss resisted. A little grin crossed Gale's lips and this time, using he used his strength. Katniss was strong, but she was no match for Gale. He quickly spread her legs apart.

His eyes, only for a moment, darted to Katniss, to let her know he'd won. She nodded in return. And Gale knew he could have his way.

He gently kissed the inside of her legs. Softly at first, just above her knees, sending shivers through her body. A pool of warmth formed around each kiss, like ripples in the water after a fallen stone. And the warmth turned into fire as Gale's kisses moved up her legs.

Katniss bit her lip, savoring the sensation. She was about to reach down and pull Gale's head up to kiss him on the lips and begin enjoying his body when he did something she wasn't expecting.

Suddenly, Gale wasn't kissing Katniss's legs anymore. He was kissing her. Her most intimate part. An unexpected moan escaped Katniss's lips. Her hand fell by her side and she couldn't control them anymore. As Gale continued, Katniss was no longer aware of the separate parts of her body. Every nerve sparked in unison. She wasn't sure if she was feeling her legs or arms or stomach, but her entire being pulsed with pleasure.

She didn't know exactly what he was doing, but Gale was getting very good at it. It wasn't long before he finished her. Katniss trembled as Gale came up next to her. He reached over and held her face to his, softly, gently, lovingly kissing her.

"You like that?" He said, just a bit smugly. And Katniss noticed his tone.

She nodded, "Mmmhmm. You're getting pretty good at that," she breathed, "but I think you need a bit more practice."

"Oh really?" Gale laughed.

She nodded, pulling him on top of her and kissing him deeply. Gale happily obliged her. His hands happily moved over her body, and hers his. After savoring the defined lines of his muscles for a little bit, she let them wander south. She felt him, fully erect, and ready for her. And after his little stunt a few minutes before, she was definitely ready for him. Gale's mind was in the same place hers was, as she felt it also reaching for his member. They eyes locked as their hands met, each understanding exactly what the other wanted. Katniss's fingers grabbed him, and he opened her folds, together, guiding him in.

She gasped as he entered, never quite remembering how it felt to have him inside her, she bit her lip and turned away, overcome. She was always overcome when this happened. But this time, she felt not only pleasure but privilege. She realized how lucky she was to have Gale in her life, how perfect he was, how much she loved him. As she realized this, she started to tear up. Gale noticed her body tense and froze, afraid he might be hurting her.

"Are you okay?" he asked urgently.

As he did this, Katniss began to cry even more. She nodded, trying to wipe away her tears quickly.

"Katniss," his voice was full of concern, "am I hurting you?" He began to pull out.

She swiftly shook her head and grabbed his face, stopping him. She kissed him deeply, trying to figure out what she felt.

"What's wrong?" he asked again when she pulled away. He grabbed her hand as it slid from his face and kissed it.

She forced a smile to her lips, suddenly aware how ridiculous she was being. "I'm sorry," she said, "I just – I think I love you." She bit her lip, nervous as she said it.

"You think?" His voice was a bit incredulous. "You mean you haven't figured this out yet?"

They both laughed at this. "Well, I'm pretty sure," she said, as she pulled her legs up around his hips, forcing him deeper inside her. Gale grunted with pleasure as she did this.

"You better damn be," he said, succumbing to her as she started to kiss him again. Starting with his neck, and moving up to his ears, "after everything I've done for – " And she kissed his lips and put their conversation to an end.

* * *

The lovers spent three days relaxing, among other things, by the lake. They needed a break from all the hiking, and it was excellent source of food and water and far too good of weather to pass up. On the fourth morning, however, they both agreed it was time to move on. So they packed up their sparse belongings and once again headed east until one morning, Katniss awoke to see Gale with a scowl on his face as he surveyed the trees.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.

Gale had that distant look on his face though that he always had when he was puzzling something out. Katniss gave him a few moments, not wanting to distract him. He finally shook his head and said. "We've been walking for about twenty days, Katniss."

Katniss hadn't been keeping track of time. She could hardly believe it'd been that long.

"I've been up three trees this morning, climbed as high as I could, looked as far as I could, and I see no sign of, well, anything other than trees." Gale looked around again, as if searching for some answer in the air, and finally admitted, "I think we need to pick another direction."

Katniss met his eyes, fully understanding, and nodded. She got up and stood next to Gale, putting her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. She could see it weighed on his conscious to admit the first direction he chose was wrong. They'd wasted almost a month walking in the wrong direction, and Katniss knew Gale was thinking that, if he'd just been smarter, thought harder, they could have deduced the correct direction of their home and been there by now. She grabbed his hand and kissed it, trying to make him see she didn't blame him.

He scratched another map in the soil, placing pebbles and sticks to represent their fallen crafts and home, he looked at it again and again, determined not to choose the wrong direction again. He stared at it for minutes, mumbling as he paced around, determined to figure it out.

After almost half an hour, Katniss got up and crouched next to him. "Gale," she said as sweetly as she could, "Gale," more forcefully this time, and he looked over to her and met her eyes, "the planes were spinning when they went down. There's no way we care really know which direction they were going. I made most sense they were flying west from 12. If we're pretty sure they weren't going west by now, then, they were probably going south, so we need to start heading north."

Gale looked at her a nodded, but only slightly. He couldn't refute her logic, however, that was the same logic they used the first time when they chose to walk east, and it was clearly wrong. So how could they be right this time? He knew if he could just think a little harder, he could figure out which the proper direction was.

Katniss let him study his map for a few more minutes. "I think north is out best guess," She told him again. She could read his mind. She too didn't want to be stuck out in the forest for months. She too was worried about their friends and families back home. But she also knew that her worrying wouldn't do a thing to fix that. The only thing they could do, was make the best guess they could and try to get home as quickly as possible.

"North," he finally agreed, looking over at Katniss.

"I think it's our best guess." Gale nodded. "Plus," she said with a smile on her face and light in her eyes, "we're not exactly wasting our time out here, are we?"

Gale seemed to brighten up when she said that.


	10. Chapter 10

Gale figured they'd been gone for about almost thirty days, walking for more than twenty of those days. He figured they walked about fifteen or twenty miles a day, so, he figured, they'd walked at least one hundred and fifty miles east of their crash. They were headed north now, but if they walked directly north from where they were, they'd be at least one hundred and fifty miles too far east, so the best direction to go for now, Gale figured, was to head north west for two hundred or more miles. If they did that, Gale figured, they should arrive, more or less, exactly north of where they crashed.

It seemed to help Gale to figure things out, so Katniss obliged him and listened patiently as he scratched little maps in the dirt and explained his reasoning.

The numbers sounded impressive all added up, but to be honest, Katniss was used to walking for entire days on end. It's what she and Gale did when they were out in the woods hunting. And it was probably less work for Gale than working in the mines was.

"It will be quickest," he repeated, again, "if we take this diagonal north west route." And he pointed to the diagram again.

Katniss nodded to support him. She knew he was looking for assurance. Katniss softened as she looked at her best friend. She knew he was used to being the strong, stable, provider. She knew that, no matter what she said, he could never be dissuaded that he wasn't responsible for her now. She knew he'd never not feel guilty for leading them in the wrong direction to start with.

And she knew, that worst of all, with her family in the public's eye and with Haymitch's support, they were most likely safe. As much as she missed and worried about them, they were probably safe. Gale's family, however, even if they were safe from Snow, relied on him for income and food. And he wasn't there now. She knew, she hoped, that her mom and Haymitch would help them. But who knew how much Hazelle would accept. And Gale, feeling like he was failing her now, felt even worse because he was failing his family also. Perhaps he could justify letting his family suffer some if it he was helping Katniss, but he didn't feel like he was helping her right now….if he was failing both them and Katniss…

"East was the most logical choice," she told him, hand on his shoulder.

Gale nodded, but appeared to have barely heard her.

"Gale," she said, cupping his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her.

"You were the one who said maybe they have a base in the east." He didn't meet her eyes when he said this.

"Yeah, and maybe they have a base in the north, and maybe they have a base in the east, and maybe they have a super floating base built in the air - we don't know. What we do know, is that there are districts to the west and south, so, that is where they were most likely going."

Gale met her eyes and nodded.

"So that's where we'll go," she added, grabbing his hand and squeezing it to reassure him.

Gale nodded again. Katniss tried to believe it was genuine, but she knew he was mostly humoring her.

So they headed North-West. Gale and Katniss tried to walk for at least eight hours every day. When they weren't walking, they hunted, searched for water and other resources. And they spent their nights learning all the secrets of their bodies. They washed away the stress and tension of hiking by dipping and sinking in the other's pleasure. Gale practiced and perfected the moves that made Katniss go wild, and she excited and experimented with Gale, trying even a few things that he hadn't even thought of before. At first, the lovers had energy to do this almost every night, but as the days worn on, both were happy when the other said they were tied and just wanted to sleep. Their love making slowed as the weeks went on. Every other night, only about twice a week. Sometimes, even, only once. Gale couldn't help but notice how tired Katniss was, especially since he was trying to keep them at a pretty steady pace. Instead of making love, their days ended more often with him simply rubbing her feet and her curling up by his side and sleeping.

But as another month passed, even he didn't feel all that much like complaining. The journey was tiring him too, and their supplies were beginning to run low. It hadn't rained in weeks, and it'd been days since they'd seen a water source.

"We're going to need to find water soon, aren't we?" Katniss asked Gale that night as they made camp.

"Yeah," he said solemnly as he looked in their pack. They only had two large bottles left. That would last them two days, maybe four if they stretched it. "How are you feeling tonight?"

"Tired," she said without thinking as she took off her boots.

"Yeah?" Gale said with a hinting tone to his voice, "you're always tired."

"Aren't you?" she said as she snuggled up next to him, completely missing his implications.

"I suppose," he chuckled softly as he looked down fondly at Katniss. He sweetly began rubbing her back as she settled.

"Oh, that feels good," she almost purred.

"You like that?" Gale said hopefully.

"Yeah, my back is killing me," she replied, closing her eyes.

Gale sighed, giving up as he continued messaging her until they both feel asleep.

Gale woke up early the next morning. Katniss was still asleep next to him, so he decided to go looking around for water. He looked for tracks of large animals. They always know where the water is. His sharp eyes carefully surveyed the ground for any trace. Gale circled around from where they made camp but found nothing. He climbed a tree looking for signs of thick, green vegetation or dips in the canopy that indicated a stream or creek. But after climbing three trees, Gale was forced to give up his hunt. Frustrated, he jumped down from the branches of an old oak and walked back to the camp and Katniss.

She was still asleep when he found her. "Hey, sleepy," he said, as he crouched down next to her and gently woke her by touching her face.

She smiled as she looked up at him. "Hi. Is it time to get up?"

"Yeah," he said, as she rubbed her eyes and propped herself up. "How are you feeling today?"

Gale was starting to worry about her. She was always tired, and if he wasn't mistaken, she was losing weight. He would have let her sleep as long as she could, but they needed to move and find water. They split a bird he'd shot while out looking for water and drank a little bit of water.

"We should start rationing now," Gale said to Katniss, "just in case."

She nodded and agreed and helped Gale pack up the camp before they went on their way.

They hiked all morning and didn't stop until mid-afternoon for lunch. Katniss said she'd go hunt, but Gale said he'd do it; he didn't want her taxing herself too much.

"You can look for water," he told her with a smile, "because I'm apparently no good at it."

Though her look was somewhat questioning, she accepted this and they both went on their way.

Half an hour later, Gale came back with another bird. The lack of mammal life was beginning to worry him. If mammals are around, usually, so is water.

Gale held up his catch as he approached their little camp. "How'd you fare?"

Katniss smiled a shook one of the water bottles in front of her. As Gale approached, he realized it was fuller than when he left. His eyes brightened. Katniss saw his stare and nodded proudly. "Yep," she said triumphantly. "Found a few vines over there," she gestured behind her shoulder, "it's not much…"

"But every bit counts," Gale finished her statement as he walked over to her and kissed her.

The next day was not as fruitful, and the two walked without finding any trace of water. They were down to their last bottle of water. Gale was starting to feel bad, so he couldn't imagine how Katniss felt. She kept insisting she was fine.

"Gale, I've been through worse." She asserted, kissing his cheek. But to be honest, she did feel worse. Even when she went without water in the Games, she didn't feel quite like she did now. Her whole body ached constantly and sometimes her stomach hurt. She told herself that her memory was playing tricks on her. That she didn't remember how bad she felt then, or that the urgency for survival made things different.

But shortly after eating dinner that night, Katniss threw it up.

* * *

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Katniss said.

"No, you're not," Gale jumped up, concerned, to Katniss's side.

"Fine," she huffed, pushing him away. "I'm not okay! I'm tired, I'm thirsty, I hurt! My feet hurt, my hands hurt, my back hurts, my whole body hurts!" She'd felt bad for days, but she hated not being about to hide it. To Katniss, overcoming pain was a sign of strength, succumbing to it was a sign of weakness. She hated admitting to weakness.

Gale tried to sooth her, rubbing her back. "Here, have some water."

"No," she said, knocking his hand away, "I'll just throw it up again."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do," she said, annoyed. "Just talking about - "

But Katniss didn't have time to finish her sentence. Just talking about it made her want to throw up again. And she did.

"It was the food," she told Gale as she got back up again. "I'm just not hungry, my stomach – "

And she retched again.

A concerned shadow crossed Gale's face. Vomiting was a sign of dehydration, and worse than just a sign, it worsened the illness as the body purged itself of liquids; it just made her more dehydrated. He tried to get Katniss to drink a few more times, but she rejected.

"I said no, Gale!" she hissed the final time, pushing the bottle away. "I don't want any. Just leave me alone."

"Katniss," he fretted.

"I'm fine," she barked at him, annoyed by his concern.

"You're not fine," he said a bit sharper than he meant to. He didn't appreciate her acerbic comments.

"What does it matter if I say I'm fine or not," she snapped, "you can't do anything about it either way."

Her words stung. Gale opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself.  _You'll only make things worse,_ he told himself. So he kept quiet and left Katniss alone.

She finally curled up in a little ball and slept, but for Gale, it wasn't so easy. His worries and guilt followed him into his dreams and he tossed and turned all night.

Gale woke early from his troubled sleep the next morning. He checked quietly on Katniss. She was still asleep. He lightly touched her forehead. It was a little hot, but nothing extreme. He wasn't sure how horribly she was feeling as he looked down at her admiringly in the gray early light.

"You're the strongest person I've ever met," he whispered lovingly into her sleeping ear, "And I need you to be just a little bit stronger. Together, we can make it through this." He softly kissed her cheek before jumping up and looking around for any sign of water. Animal tracks. Green vegetation. Downward slopes. But, like the day before, he found none. He couldn't help but feel like a failure.

Gale didn't linger far for too long and quickly returned to Katniss. As the sun rose and the air began to warm, she stirred.

"Morning," Gale said, looking down at her sweetly. He had a bottle of water next to him and extended it to her as she got up. She pressed it to her lips and took a tiny sip then passed it back to Gale. He pretended to take a drink this time, and gave it back to her. Katniss took another small sip, but it was hardly enough to quench her thirst, but she didn't complain.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah," she lied.

"Want some breakfast?" he asked as he pulled out some dried food from their pack.

Katniss didn't even want to look at the food and her hand instinctively went to her stomach at the thought of it. She shook her head.

"We should take it easy today," Gale said as if to the air, noticing her reaction to the idea of food.

Katniss gave him a look of reproach. "Are you kidding? We need to find water. If anything, we need to press forward more than usual." She suspected Gale had only said this because he was worried about her, so she jumped up and began packing their things.

"But Katniss, you're not feeling well – "

"I feel fine now," she challenged. "It was just too much food on too little water." Gale sat, staring up at her, carefully watching her to see if he believed her. "Are you going to make me do this all by myself?" She snapped. Gale figured it was no use fighting, so he hopped up and helped.

"Maybe you're better, but you're mood certainly isn't," he muttered under his breath as he folded their blankets.

The day is long, sweaty, and painful. The two trudged on at a slow pace in silence, only occasionally stopping to catch their breaths and take tiny sips of water. They make camp early, and both nearly collapse when they stop walking. Gale found a few more vines to try and get water from, but they only yielded a few drops to his dry, hot mouth.

"Any luck?" Katniss asked him as he returned to their camp. She was trying not to sound too hopeful.

Gale somberly shook his head. "Hardly a drop," he scowled. He scooted over to Katniss and put his arm around her. Katniss tried not to look as horrible as she felt. Her legs were shaking from exhausting and she felt like very molecule in her body was screaming for water. She hadn't felt this bad since she'd been in the Games. She gratefully rested her head against him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Probably not quite as bad as you." He tried to make this sound like a bit of a joke to mask his concern, and he thought it worked as he heard a faint chuckle come from Katniss's chest. "Are you hungry at all?"

"No." Her answer came quickly.

Gale didn't have the energy to argue, and tonight, he couldn't even if he did as he didn't have any appetite either. Growing up in Twelve, the lovers were well prepared to deal with hunger, but thirst was an entirely different matter, and as night found them, Gale seriously wondered how they'd get through the next day.


	11. Chapter 11

The pair, exhausted and weak, slept late into the morning. Gale only finally rose because of the heat. He pushed the blanket off of himself and looked over at Katniss. She wasn't looking well. She was pale and looked a little sallow. Her body looked pinched in certain places.  _When was the last time she'd eaten?_ He wondered. Gale wasn't feeling well either. He'd had a dull headache the past few days, but today it was screaming. It wasn't insufferable though, and he stretched and got up.  _Maybe I look just as bad_ , he thought.

His movement must have woken Katniss as she began to stir.

"Morning," she said.

"Hey," he said as he went over to their pack for water.

As Katniss got up, she felt dizzy. She had to stop and steady herself on a nearby tree. Luckily, Gale didn't notice. She didn't want to have to deal with him fussing.

Gale extended the water bottle to Katniss so she could drink first. It was barely half full. She knew it was all the water they had left. Despite her dying thirst, she only took a sip. She eagerly swallowed the meager mouthful of water and passed the bottle to Gale. He too brought it to his lips. He tried to pass it back to her.

"No," Katniss said, refusing it. "We better keep it for later."

"Katniss, you need water."

She was getting so tired of hearing him say this. "So do you," she returned. "Even more than me." She saw the question in Gale's eyes. "Because you're bigger," she explained.

Gale wanted to argue, but he knew that Katniss had a point. And even if she didn't, it probably wasn't worth the fight. So they packed up their stuff and began to hike.

Gale insisted they stop and rest almost every hour.

"I don't need to stop!" Katniss complained the third time he did this. Annoyed because she thought Gale was pitying her, and even more annoyed because she really did need to stop.

Gale put the bottle briefly to his lips and passed it to her. Katniss gratefully took it and sipped a small amount. She was surprised how much water they still had when suddenly she realized:

"How long haven't you been drinking!?" She accused Gale angerly.

"What?"

"You're pretending to drink Gale, don't lie to me!" She was livid.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said as he turned away beginning to resume their hike. But Katniss could always tell when he was lying. She jogged up next to him, staring daggars. "I haven't been pretending." He tried to look convincing.

"Then prove it."

"Katniss – "

"Just take one more sip." She asserted, pushing the water bottle towards his face.

Slightly annoyed, Gale snatched it, but he didn't drink. "I just took a drink." He began to put the bottle in his backpack. "I will again next time we stop."

Katniss's stare was unrelenting, but Gale ignored it and marched on. He continued on for another hour before deciding to stop. He took off his pack and pulled out the water. He began to hand it to her.

"You first," Katniss said coldly, her eyes intently on him.

"Okay…" He unscrewed the and raised the bottle to his mouth. He held it there for a few seconds before extending it to Katniss.

She didn't reach for it and instead gave Gale an angry stare.

"Oh my God, Katniss, I swear I took a drink – "

"Liar!" she screamed.

"Katniss," he began to defend; his tone dismissing her.

"You're throat muscles didn't move."

"What?" He faltered a moment. "You're imagining things."

"Don't lie to me, Gale, you're throat muscled didn't move. How long has it been since you've had anything to drink?"

Gale contorted his face, searching for something to say to confront her, challenge her, but nothing came to mind quickly enough, and as he fumbled, he knew she'd caught him.

"God damn it, Gale!" she huffed. "You need to drink too! You need more water than me!"

"Don't give me that," Gale really wasn't in the mood to listen. "I'm fine, Katniss. I haven't fumbled yet, haven't thrown anything up….so don't tell me I'm the one who needs water when you're the one over sleeping and stumbling."

She hated him for making her feel weak. Her eyes began to burn for lack of tears and Gale could see the pain in her face. He instantly regretted what he said.

"Katniss," he said softly, reaching out to her. "I'm sorry…."

"Don't," she pushed him away. "I'm just as strong as you are."

"I know," Gale agreed. "Even stronger."

But Katniss wasn't in the mood for an apology. She began yelling at Gale. She cursed him for lying to her, and degraded him for what he'd implied - that he was better than her. She went on and on and he took it. And as she fumed, a mosquito bit her. "Damn it!" she yelled, swatting at the bug, "I have to deal with this now too!"

Gale's eyes focused on the bug. "Katniss," he tried to interrupt. But she didn't listen.

"And how dare you – "

"Katniss," he repeated, and this time with a smile which only piqued her rage more.

She wanted to smack the smile right off his face. "What, you think it's funny that I'm getting eaten alive now? Poor little puking Katniss, now prey to – "

"Katniss!" Gale nearly shouted this time. "Would you shut up?"

Katniss was so taken aback she was speechless. A new rant began forming in her head, but Gale took advantage of her moment of silence.

"Mosquitoes, Katniss!" She couldn't help but notice that he seemed happy about this.

"Yeah, genius, I noticed," she said irritably as she swatted away another one. "Not exactly cause for celebration – "

"Yes they are." Katniss met Gale's eyes questioningly. His twinkled in response to hers. "Yes they are. Because where there're mosquitoes – "

And Katniss's eyes lightened with realization. "There's water," she finished.

The two were completely silent and strained their ears for any sound of water. In the distance, not too far away, they heard a soft tinkling. They smiled at each other as they both heard it.

"That way, I think," Gale said. Katniss looked at him brightly and nodded. They immediately charged off in that direction.

They hadn't even run for five minutes when the blue became clear through the trees. All the worry, pain and anger they'd felt only moment before disappeared as they approached.

A large, fresh, blue lake opened up in front of them. It was surrounded by large brown rocks that piled up on the opposite end where a small waterfall tumbled into the waters. Large trees scooped down, practically kissing the lake. And on this quiet, windless day, the beautiful green forest reflected almost perfectly on its surface.

Despite the terrible thirsts, both Gale and Katniss paused to admire the incredible beauty of what lie before them. But only for a moment. Then, they jumped in.

The pair splashed around in the cool water until all the heat left their bodies, and they drank and drank and drank until their bellies could hold no more. Katniss pulled herself up on one of the smooth rocks and watched Gale happily as he stripped his clothes and dove back in.

 _Maybe I should apologize_ , she thought, amazed he had the energy to swim, before her eyes shut to nap in the warm sun, perhaps he  _is stronger than me…_

But Gale's strength didn't much outlast her, and it wasn't long before he too was sleeping next to her on the rock.

The lovers woke up in the late afternoon.

"Hey," Gale said sweetly to her as she began to stir.

Katniss opened her eyes and smiled on seeing his face. She reached over and brushed the hair out of his face. "Hey," she returned and leaned in to kiss him. Their mouths no longer feeling parched like paper, they enjoyed giving into the others' lips.

"Are you feeling better?"Gale asked as he pulled Katniss's head to rest on his chest.

"I think so," she said.

"Yeah?" he stroked her hair as he spoke. "What do you want to do?"

He could feel Katniss exhale as she thought deeply on the matter. "I want to pee," Katniss said with a small laugh, "I can't remember the last time I peed."

Gale chuckled too as she said this. "That would probably be good. Are you hungry at all?" Katniss thought about this too for a moment and nodded. "I'm starving," Gale replied. He motioned to get up and extended his hand down to Katniss once he was on his feet. She graciously took it. He playfully pulled her up and into his arms and spun her around. She let out a peal of laughter. "It's good to hear you laugh," Gale said, pulling her close to him again. She didn't realize how long it'd been until he said that.

* * *

Over the next few days, the two did nothing but drink and eat and sleep until they felt normal again. By the second day, Gale seemed to have recovered all his strength. He'd go off exploring, searching for fruit or nuts or berries. Katniss couldn't imagine walking for fun and opted to nap when he did this. But after three full days of resting, even she didn't have much to complain about.

That night, Gale rubbed her feet as they settled around the small fire Gale'd built. Her feet weren't hurting nearly as much as they had been when they were walking, but it still felt very good.

"I think we should stay her for a while," Gale said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah…" Katniss replied, half an agreement, half a question.

"Yeah, we should take advantage of all the supplies we have here. Make sure we get back to our full strength. And gets lots of rest…" Gale said after a pause, "like we did at the last lake."

Katniss caught the slight twinkle in his eyes as she said this, and nodded as she saw the smile spreading across his lips.

She realized how long it'd been since they'd been intimate. She looked lovingly over at Gale and leaned in to kiss him and found comfort in his strong embrace. But it took only moments to realize that it wasn't comfort that Gale was feeling. His hands flew across her body, hungry it seemed, for the feel of her skin. Katniss was a little amused at her partner's desperation. And she followed the familiar motions she knew well would make him happy.

But as the moments wore on, Katniss realized she was only doing that: going through the motions.

 _But that's only because it's been awhile_ , she told herself,  _my body will remember soon enough_.

Katniss began to concentrate harder, kissing him more fervently, as if trying to pull something out of him. Gale took this as a sign of her pleasure, though, and positioned himself to go inside her. With one quick movement, he was in.

Katniss quickly turned her head away and gasped. It hurt.

She lay there as Gale began his work.  _It's just been awhile,_ she told herself, and she waited for her body to adjust.  _It hurt the first time too…_ But the minutes passed, and Gale finally noticed she wasn't reacting.

"Are you okay?" he stopped and asked.

Katniss reached up and kissed him, giving herself a moment to compose. "Yeah," she said. "I'm just…just savoring it." She didn't know why she lied. But instead of focusing on her frustration, she channeled it towards pleasing Gale and concentrated on what she knew would make him happy.

She went along with him until he finished, and as she held him, panting on her chest, utterly and happily spent, her fingers twirled in his hair and she thought, thought… _It's just been awhile…tomorrow it'll be better…_

 _Today will be better_ , she thought as she awoke the next morning.

"Good morning," Gale greeted her with a loving kiss, still glowing from the night before. Katniss couldn't help but roll her eyes.  _Why does this upset me?_  She thought as she caught herself doing it.  _I'm not angry…perhaps…jealous?_ She tried to shake the thoughts from her head as she followed Gale to get breakfast.

He picked up some of their empty water bottles. "I'll go fill these," he said before heading to the lake.

Katniss nodded in reply. "I'll fix breakfast." She went over to where they'd been storing some of their food. Gale devised a small contraption and hung it from the branch of a tree so animals couldn't get to it.  _He is so good at these sorts of things_ , Katniss thought fondly as she reached in and unfolded some of the smoked meat he'd prepared a night ago. But as she unwrapped it from the think leaves he'd kept it in, she wrinkled her nose.  _Ewww,_ she reacted to the smell,  _it's spoiled._ And she threw the meat far into the forest.

"Where's breakfast?" He asked, returning with the filled bottles.

"I had to throw it out," she said normally, "it was going bad."

"No way," Gale said incredulously.

"It smelled horrible."

"I've smoked meat like that all my life, it can last weeks."

"I'm telling you, it smelled horrible." But Gale's raised eyebrow still didn't believe her. But she held his stare. "It was rotten."

"Okay," he finally relented, "I'll see what I can scrounge up today."

Gale left early to go hunting and exploring while Katniss set up some lines for fish. She also relaxingly roamed the lake's edge, looking for edible plants and enjoying the scenery.

When the sun was high and warm, Katniss decided to strip off her clothes and take a relaxing swim. She enjoyed being in the water very much these days. It soothed her. When she finished she found a dry, warm rock and settled in for a nap.

Gale found her still sleeping when he returned from his hunt.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," she said as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Hey."

"Come on, get up," he encouraged, "I've found some good stuff."

"Yeah?" she rubbed her eyes, still a bit groggy.

"Yeah," he smiled proudly lead and lead her to his stash.

Gale had found some good stuff. Katniss's mouth dropped as she surveyed the scene. Not only had Gale found clover and other edible greens, but he'd caught a rabbit. They hadn't had red meat in weeks, and:

"Are those berries?" She could hardly contain her excitement.

"Yep," he said proudly.

"Gale!" They hadn't eaten like this since they'd left.

"There's no need to thank me."

Katniss stood in front of him and looked up. She put her hands on either side of her face. "Thank you," she reached up and kissed him sweetly.

"Anything for you," he replied. She could only smile at that.

Gale'd already started a fire to roast the rabbit. He fashioned a spit out of some twigs as Katniss tried to devise a way to cook the greens. The pair was salivating in anticipation, and luckily, neither took long to cook. When it was ready, they dove in.

"Don't eat too quickly, Katniss, or you're make yourself sick," Gale said with a soft smile as he watched Katniss devour the meal.

When everything was finished…all the greens and rabbit and berries…Katniss and Gale reclined against the thick trunk of a tree and watched the sunset.

"That was really good," she thanked him for about the twentieth time.

"You're welcome," he looked at her and smiled. "Come here."

She happily scooted over and into his arms. He wrapped them around her and held her close. She snuggled into his chest and happily listened to his heart beat contentedly for untold minutes, maybe even an hour.

 _Today will be better_ , Katniss thought with renewed desire, and she looked up and kissed Gale. The kiss started out sweet, thankful, warm, but soon her lips started searching for something else. Gale happily obliged her and twisted so she sat in front of him.

Katniss was passionate. She pulled off his shirt and ran her hands up and down his back, arms, and chest… _such a strong back, arms, and chest_ , she thought.  _I love this back, these arms, that chest, but then why…Don't think about it,_ she told herself.  _That's part of the problem, you're thinking too much. Just try and enjoy…_

So she did. She went along as Gale slowly pulled off her clothes and trailed kisses down her body. She tried to remember everything she did before. And after several minutes of foreplay, when it was clear Gale was ready, she assumed she must be too. She grabbed Gale's stiff, hard member and guided him inside of her.

And she had to turn herself away again because all she felt was pain. It was tight. Or too small. Or something. She wasn't sure how this ever felt right. And with each thrust Gale made, her body told her that it was wrong. Katniss was so frustrated, she had to fight back tears.

 _What's wrong with me,_ she thought desperately. Unable to hide her feelings, she put her hands at Gale's chest to stop him.

"What?"

"From behind," she whispered to him, pulling herself out from under him and turning over on her knees. "From behind. Like this," she said, fitting her body next to his. "Like this," she repeated as she helped guide him back inside her and braced herself as she let Gale finish.

The third night, she was even more determined to try again.  _It hurt the first few times_ , she told herself, trying to remember how it felt when she and Gale first slept together. She spent the day thinking of dozens of reasons to explain away the pain, convincing herself, that tonight, if they did it right, everything would be normal again.

But as he entered her that night, she realized it wasn't what she felt that was the problem. It wasn't the discomfort or pain. It was what she didn't feel. The spark, the excitement, the passion. It wasn't what they were doing, or what Gale was doing, it was her. How she was. And as she realized this, she burst in to tears.

Gale immediately stopped. Katniss put her hands over her face to hide her tears. "What's wrong?" he questioned, trying to pull her hands away.

"No," she resisted, turning her head aside.

"What's wrong?" Gale was seriously concerned. He pulled himself out of her and took her in his arms, trying to console her. "Katniss, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to do this," she finally admitted.

He rocked her back and forth a bit, "that's okay, we don't have to."

"No!" she asserted and pushed away a bit. "It's not okay, Gale! It's not okay!"

"Yes it is, we don't have to do it."

"But I want to!"

Gale was confused. "Wait, do you or don't you want to?"

"I want to! But I don't want to!" She cried.

"What?"

She didn't know how to answer so she buried her head into his chest and started to cry.

"Hey, hey," he said comfortingly, "it's okay."

"No," she choked, "Something's wrong with me. It hurt!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated as he rocked her. "Nothing's wrong with you, Katniss," Gale tried to sooth her, but she continued sobbing. "Shh," he tried to comfort her in her tears. "Nothing's wrong with you. You're body's been though a lot. We just went a week on little to no water and we haven't been eating well. Plus, we've been walking endlessly for almost three months. Nothing's wrong with you at all," he reassured her with a sweet kiss, "you probably just need rest. You're body…"

Katniss nodded, but she stopped listening to Gale after he said for three months.  _Had they really been out there that long?_ The words rattled around Katniss's brain.  _Three months…_


	12. Chapter 12

"You know, these things happen," he told her the next morning, still trying to make her feel better about what had happened the night before. "Sometimes they happen to men too," he tried to reassure her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…sometimes…people's body's don't perform the way they want them too. It happens more often that you think."

Katniss spent a minute thinking about this. But something else was pulling at the back of her mind.

"Do you want any breakfast?" Gale asked her sweetly.

"What?" She was hardly paying attention to him.

"Breakfast?" He said holding up some freshly caught fish. "Now, don't go telling me this is bad…I just caught them this morning."

But the sight and thought of the food made Katniss feel sick. "Um…" she stammered, "Not right now. I'll be right back," she added hastily as she got up to leave. As soon as she was out of Gale sight she fell to her knees and retched.

She felt dizzy and sat on a nearby rock, looking away from her own mess.

 _Maybe I am sick,_ she thought.  _I've never been sick like this before. Is it from the dehydration?_ That made the most sense, but it'd been almost a week. And she and Gale had been drinking plenty since coming to the lake. In her mind, she thought back to her mother's medical books and all the reasons people came to her for vomiting.  _Perhaps I ate something bad? But Gale hadn't been sick yet…so that didn't make sense. I could have some type of flu..but how would I have caught that out here?_ Katniss pressed her head against a nearby tree and closed her eyes for comfort.  _What other reasons make people vomit?_ She turned the question over and over in her mind.  _It was a symptom of food poisoning, flus, and of course, pregnant women._

 _But, there's no way I'm pregnant,_  she thought will a small laugh.  _Because that's not possible_.

And then it hit her. That was totally possible.

Panic set in and Katniss felt like she was going to faint.

 _Okay, okay, get a hold of yourself_ , she told herself, but she still felt like she was coming down with a cold sweat. Her hands were shaking.  _There's no way that is possible. There's no way that is possible. You're not pregnant, so stop this worrying!_

But suddenly, everything started to come together.

 _I've been sick,_ one voice in her brain said.

 _But only a few times._ Another responded.

 _More than a view times._ She admitted. She hid it from Gale, but she'd been sick several times.

_Because you were dehydrated!_

_Can I really still use that excuse?_

_There are lots of reasons people get sick. That doesn't mean you're pregnant._

_But I've been having sex!_

_And the Capitol gave you birth control. Remember? You've had your period._

_Only once._ She realized.  _And I've been out here for three months…_ And now she really started to worry.  _This can't be happening…This can't be happening…._

 _It's not,_ the other voice assured her.  _There are lots of reasons that could explain that. It's not like you were ever regular._

_Yeah, I was after the Capitol gave me that shot!_

_After the Capitol started feeding you well, you mean..._ The first voice had to agree that made sense. Katniss held on to that glimmer of hope… _Since you've left, you can hardly say you've been eating well._

_Yeah…_

_So it makes perfect sense…_

_That I haven' t been regular!_ Katniss took a deep breath as she considered this. That made sense, right.  _This makes sense, right?_

 _Totally._ The second voice confirmed.

 _Yeah._ But why didn't she feel totally relieved.  _The Capitol gave me a birth control shot…_

_Yep. So you can't be pregnant._

_Except.._ She tried hard to avoid thinking about it… _how many months ago was that?_

The reassuring voice was noticeable quiet.

Katniss thought back.  _It's been…how many months?_ And there was no way to avoid it.  _It's been way more than six months. You'd been out of the Games for almost six months before even going out into the woods!_ Katniss started shaking again. _How did I not think of that…How did I not think of that…This isn't possible…this isn't possible…_

_Oh, it definitely seems possible now..._

_Shut up!_ She snapped at herself.

_Especially when you factor in the missed periods and morning sickness…_

_Shut up!_

Katniss thought her head might cave in if she continued to think about this. And she thought that wouldn't be such a bad thing given her circumstances. But if she stayed away too much longer, Gale would start to worry, so she shakily headed back to their camp.

Luckily, Gale was at the water's edge setting his lines.

"Hey," she said as she walked up behind him, happy his face wasn't to her because she wasn't sure how well she could mask her worry. She kissed him on the back of the neck so he wouldn't turn around and sweetly rubbed his shoulders. "I'm really in the mood for some more berries, I'm going to go pick some. Where did you find them?"

"That way," Gale gestured down the left side of the lake.

"Thanks," Katniss said quickly and started to turn away before Gale could catch her eye. "I won't be gone long," she said, turning around only after she was far enough away so Gale couldn't read her face and waved goodbye.

 _Shit…_ she thought.  _Shit…shit…shit._ Katniss didn't really know where she was. She'd wandered around for an hour or more and somehow found herself sitting up in the arms of an old oak.  _Shit…_ her mind raced, _shit…shit…shit._   _What am I going to do?_ Her brain burst with worry _. What am I going to do? I don't want to have a baby. I've never wanted to have a baby. And especially out here! Alone in the woods…with Gale! Gale._ Her brain suddenly stopped on this word.  _It was Gale's baby too._ And for the first time in Katniss's whole life, the idea of having a baby wasn't so bad.  _A baby with Gale?_ But she didn't give the thought a chance to sink in.  _It's not that you don't want the baby, it's that you can't have the baby…not out here,_ she reasoned. She wasn't really sure what the difference was, but the later sounded nicer. _Whether I want the thing or not, I can't have a baby out here, so…What am I going to do?_ Thoughts raced through her mind. She panicked as she looked down. It wouldn't be enough to kill her,  _But maybe it'd be enough…_

 _Now, don't think that, Katniss._ The other voice chimed in again.

 _Think what?_ She tired innocently.

_I know what you were thinking: That fall wouldn't be enough to kill you, but maybe…_

She wasn't sure if she hated herself or not for thinking it, but she couldn't shake the idea from her head or pull her eyes away from the ground. Maybe 20 feet below…25? A fall that far would defiantly do some damage…

 _You can't do that, Katniss_.

_Why not?_

_Do you really want to kill your baby?_

_It's probably just going to kill me!_ She defended, even though she wasn't comfortable with the word kill.

_Your and Gale's baby?_

Something inside her hurt when she thought about it that way. She couldn't quite name it.  _Okay, okay…I won't jump._

 _Good._ The second voice approved,  _why go to all that trouble of hurting yourself when it probably won't make it anyway…._

That thought made her shutter again. And she felt sick because she didn't know why, but the idea was of some comfort to her.  _How many women had her mother seen...lose their babies early. Actually,_ she brightened a bit as she realized,  _it happened all the time. Especially to younger women, and women with hard lives...And heck, I'm both of those!_ But as Katniss turned this thought around in her head, it wasn't nearly as comforting as she hoped it woule be.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Gale rushed towards her she approached their camp. But Katniss didn't want to deal with him. She couldn't handle it right now. She put up her hand to stop him. "You've been gone for hours! I've been so worried!"

 _Ha! You've been worried,_ she thought. "I got lost."

"You got lost?" Gale didn't believe her. Katniss never got lost. "I don't believe it – "

"Well believe it! It is possible, you know! Lots of things are possible!"

"Okay, sorry," Gale retreated, realizing he'd hit a nerve. "I was just worried. Did you find the berries?" He asked, not really understating what was going on, and hoping changing the subject would help.

"No! Now you want me to give you berries too!" she roared, not aware she was angry until after she said it.

"No… I just thought…" Gale stammered, completely unaware of what was going on, "I just thought…you went out to get…berries." He spoke carefully.

Katniss realized he was right. She had told him she was going to get berries. She huffed, confused, and didn't know what to say. "Get you own damn berries, if you want any!" She finally yelled at him and stomped away.

Gale opened his mouth and watched her storm off, not understanding a bit of what just happened.

Katniss was surly for the rest of the afternoon. She perched herself on one of the smoother stones on the edge of the lake and stared off into the distance. Gale considered several times going over to her, but figured it was best not to until she lookd like she's cooled down. Katniss stayed by the lake until the sun set and only moved when she was too cold to stay away any longer.

She shuffled over to Gale and his fire by the camp.

"I'm cold," she said, not exactly to him.

Gale looked at her, afraid to say anything. He scooted over so she'd have a place to sit by him near the fire. But she just glared at him. So he reached into the pack and pulled out one of the blankets and tentatively handed it to her. She stared at it for a moment, considering, before violently snatching it from him. She sat on the opposite side of the fire from him and wrapped it around her. For some reason, she was very angry at him. She sat there stubbornly for a few minutes as she realized why Gale was sitting on the side that he was. The wind was blowing towards her, pushing all the smoke in her face. She finally couldn't help it and started to cough. She coughed several times.

"You know," Gale finally offered, "you can come sit by me."

"I know," she snapped.

"I just thought you might want to…" he tread carefully, "since the wind is blowing that way…"

"You don't think I know which way the wind is blowing!?"

"I'm sure you do," he said as she started coughing again. It was like adding insult to injury and it really pissed Katniss off.

They sat in silence, until Gale finally offered, "So…you don't want to sit by me?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm mad at you!" She didn't even know why she said it

"Yeah…I've gathered that…Why?"

Katniss really couldn't handle this right now. Her head was spinning, and Gale was just annoying her. She wanted to scream,  _because I'm carrying your bastard baby…which is no fun and I never wanted to do! And this isn't fair and it's all your fault!_

But Katniss realized that wasn't fair, and it wasn't all his fault. She looked up and met his eyes and she could see how much he really did care and really was trying to understand. She sighed a deep breath. "Okay, I'll come over there," she said it like she was making a compromise.

"Thank you?" It sounded more like a question that he meant it to. But Katniss graciously ignored that and walked around to his side of the fire. She plopped down next to him. He sat stiffly next to her for a few minutes in awkward silence. "Did you have any din—"

"Don't talk to me about food!" She interrupted.

"Okay, okay," he quickly relented. And the two sat in uncomfortable silence for the rest of the evening.

* * *

The next morning was hardly any better. Not knowing what to say, Gale decided to keep quiet until Katniss asked him something directly. He got up, very careful and went to fix himself some breakfast. He looked over at Katniss. She appeared to be sound asleep. He decided he had enough time to go and get some more berries for her, thinking that would make her feel better. Hoping….

 _If I run,_ he thought,  _I can make it back here in less than an hour._

He made a small meal of left over nuts and some greens they'd collected by the water's edge. He emptied his pack of everything except for one water bottle and his knife, and jogged off in the direction of the berries.

Gale had to admit, the run felt good. He felt strong, alive, and less stressed. Plus, it was good for him to burn the energy. His body was invigorated. Gale didn't like relaxing much. Of course, he needed rest, but relaxation was something different. His large, muscular body was designed to do things, and while, Gale often didn't like what it was he had to do, like work in the mines, he did like doing things. If he wasn't, he got restless.

The run was far easier than he thought it was, and he made it to the berry patch in under thirty minutes, hardly out of breath. He carefully picked dozens of berries and put them in his pack, before taking a swig of water, and returning back to camp.

To be honest, Gale could have run for another hour. But he didn't want Katniss to wake without him, in case she'd worry.

 _Or celebrate,_  a snarky voice in the back of his mind chirped.

 _Well_ , he thought, but he couldn't entirely refute that thought.  _What had gotten into that girl, anyhow?_ But he supposed that's what he liked about Katniss…she was her own woman…unpredictable…

"Hey!" he said as nicely as possible as Katniss approached rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Gale got up and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not really."

"What? You've been sleeping like ten hours a night for the past week!"

"What? I'm not allowed to be tired?"

"I didn't say that – " But Gale stopped himself. He didn't want to get into it – especially since he didn't know what  _it_ was. "Hey, I've got a surprise for you!"

Katniss looked at him as if he'd just told her he had the Ebola virus. "I don't really like surprises." Her eyebrow arched.

"I remember the other day you said you wanted some berries, so I ran out to the patch and got you some." He smiled as he revealed the little pile of berries he'd picked for her that morning.

"Oh," She knew he was trying to be sweet. "Thank you," she said in a flat tone. She took the cloth Gale had folded the berries in and set it her lap and popped one in her mouth. Gale searched her carefully for any sign of pleasure. But no sooner had she swallowed the berry than she picked up the cloth again and set it beside her. "Excuse me," she as she got up, "I'll be right back." And Katniss got up and walked towards the tree line leaving Gale scratching his head.

As soon as she was out of sight, she fell to her knees and puked. She came out a few minutes later and thanked Gale for the berries, but he couldn't help but notice that she didn't eat them.

Later that morning, Gale suggested the two go hunting together, hoping that doing something old and familiar might be a nice change. Katniss realized that he was trying, and that she was being difficult, but she could hardly find room in her brain to think about Gale. She felt like there'd been a tornado in her head for the past day. Maybe hunting would be a way to get her mind off of her problem.

"You're awfully quiet," Gale said when they were out in the woods.

"We're hunting, Gale."

"But this is nice though, like old times?"

"When were the old times nice?"

He knew she had a point, but why did she have to be so difficult? Gale huffed, but kept quiet.

Katniss's leg was twitching, she was so impatient. She didn't want to be out in the woods. She could hardly focus on what she was supposed to be doing. She just wanted to be alone and had no patience for this. Part of her brain was telling her to be nice, Gale really was trying so hard. But she only lasted a few minutes.

Katiss saw something flash out of the corner of her eyes. She quickly drew her bow and arrow and pointed. Before Gale could even react she'd already released three arrows. Gale watched as three squirrels fell from the tree. Whatever else Gale was feeling about Katniss, she still could impress him.

Katniss hopped down from the tree and retrieved her kill. She picked up the three squirrels, "this should be enough." Her tone was matter of fact. Gale had been hoping to spend some quality time, but he couldn't argue with her. And to be honest, he wasn't so sure he wanted to spend too much more quality time with her anyway.

Gale took the squirrels from her and they walked back to their camp by the water. "Do you want me to help you skin them?" Katniss asked Gale. He wasn't sure how this became his chore.

"It's up to you," he responded, hoping this answer was best.

"I think you can handle it," she said, tossing the animals to Gale, "I'll be back in a bit."

Before Gale could even formulate a response, Katniss was gone.

Katniss went back to the woods and climbed back up a tree. She wasn't sure why, but for some reason she felt better there.

 _Okay,_ she told herself,  _let's clear our thoughts and think…_  But so many things were spinning around her head she could hardly focus on one. She only felt nauseous as she tried to calm her mind.

_This probably isn't happening…_

_No, we have to accept that this is happening. We need a game plan…_

_Why? You'll get your period any day now…_

_Katniss, only the prepared survive. We need to face the facts…_

_What facts? You don't know for sure…_

_Have to account for all possibilities…_

But none of these thoughts led anywhere. They just made Katniss feel dizzy and sick.

She didn't know how long she was out in the woods, but something finally moved her to return to the camp.

Gale had cleaned and cut the squirrels and was roasting them over a small fire. He stood up to greet her. Part of him wanted to ask where she'd been. Another part wanted to rebuke her for not telling him where she was going, tell her he was worried, he was curious. But he knew all of these lines of questioning would end in a fight.

He decided to forgo all those approached and focus only on the food.

"Hey," he began. But Katniss immediately cut him off.

"Why are you always eating!" She snapped.

"I'm…I'm…not…it's dinner." He defended, "and I haven't even started eating it yet." Gale was really getting tired of this. "Why are you yelling at me?" He demanded.

"Because I'm mad at you!"

"No shit, I've noticed, why?"

"Do I have to have a reason?"

"Yeah!" Gale said incredulously, "I think so."

Katniss opened her mouth for a comeback, but too quickly realized that Gale was right. Her cheeks burned as she felt ridiculous. This only made her more angry.

"Katniss," he rebuked her as she again opened her mouth to fight.

"Shut up," she snapped as she turned to walk away.

"Katniss," his voice was concerned, and also annoyed. But he was going to get to the bottom of this, "what's wrong?"

It just annoyed her, so didn't respond and kept walking.

Gale didn't like being yelled at, but he really didn't like being ignored. He jogged up next to her, grabbed her arm, and swung her around, forcing her to face him. He decided to work from the basics.

"You're angry," he began.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Trust me, it is. And you're angry at me?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. Katniss," he said evenly, he was trying to be careful, but she thought he was being condescending, "why are you angry at me?"

She thought about it for a moment, and started to feel bad about the way she was treating Gale. But then she didn't have the energy to feel bad about Gale and bad about the baby and bad about herself. So she started to sputter. "Because!" Gale held her stare. "I don't want to be out here,"

"Katniss, I know it's frustrating and it's hard, but – "

"If you'd just picked the right direction in the first place, we could be home by now! This is all your fault!"

Now that was mean. Gale could handle a moody Katniss from time to time, but she was never mean. Part of him wanted to react in anger too, defend himself, tell her he never asked her to go rescue him. Hell, the way she was acting right now, he wished she hadn't.  _Should have just let the Capitol have me, if you're going to treat me this way_ …And he really wanted to say that, but he didn't. He stopped himself, and thought,  _what on earth was causing her to act like this,_  he wondered. He'd never seen her like this before, except, maybe once….And then it hit him:

"Katniss," he called to her again, speaking delicately, "is it that time of the month?"

And as soon as he said the word month, it hit him again.  _Month. They'd been out there for three months._  Katniss could see the realization dawning in his eyes. Hers implored him not to go there.

"Wait a minute,"

"Gale –" She begged him.

"Katniss," he was speaking slowly, his brain clearly turning over his thoughts, wanting to make sure he was certain before he spoke.

"Gale – " She desperately wanted to distract him.

"When's the last time you had your period?"

She couldn't meet his stare and tried to pull away. Her heart beat began to quicken, he tongue felt heavy in her mouth, and her eyes were starting to water even though she willed them not to. She turned, but Gale quickly reached out to her.

"Katniss – "

"Let go of me!" she screamed. She couldn't handle this. She didn't want Gale to know. She didn't know why. So many thoughts were spinning around her head, it hurt _. This is bad, this is bad, this is bad,_ she was panicking. She was still trying to wriggle free, but Gale was too strong.  _Gale can't know, if he does…if he does, then it will be real._

And she collapsed crying when that thought hit her. If Gale knew, there was no more pretending this wasn't happening. No more hoping her period would start tomorrow. No way she could convince herself this was all just a bad dream.  _I don't want this to be real…_

Gale sank to the ground with her, pulling her onto his lap

"Oh, Katniss," he repeated again and again, trying to comfort her.

"No," she sobbed, clinging to his shirt, face pressed to his chest, "No…"

"It's okay, Katniss," Gale said, trying to comfort her and for the first time really not sure if he could. "It'll be okay…"


	13. Chapter 13

Gale first focused on comforting Katniss, but once she'd settled down, he couldn't stop the onslaught.

 _She's pregnant. Oh my god, she's pregnant._ The thoughts raced through Gale's mind but he wasn't sure he made the connection. He was suddenly disconnected from reality. He held Katniss tightly as she cried into his chest and the words  _she's pregnant_ passed through his mind. But he didn't make the connection. It was like they meant nothing, and as Gale struggled to process the information, the only connection he was able to make was,  _well, this does explain her behavior._

But then, once Katniss had calmed down, Gale begins to make sense of his thoughts. The thought  _she pregnant_ finally connected with  _that means she's going to have a baby,_ and panic set it.

Gale's heart immediately began to race and he started to perspire. He forced himself to appear calm.  _Focus on Katniss,_ he told himself,  _focus one Katniss…she's pregnant…I have to be strong for her…she's going to have a baby…I have to take care of her….she's going to have a baby…we're going to have a baby…_

But as he turned the thought in his mind, it got less and less scary. He and Katniss we're going to have a baby.  _Why was that so bad? We love each other…and lots of people their age have babies at this age in District 12…it really isn't as if they are too young. Of course,_ he realized,  _most of them don't have babies out in the woods….But better out here than in District Twelve,_ another thought countered. And Gale had to admit, that was true. His heart calmed as the thoughts sunk into his mind.  _This isn't so bad…we're going to have a baby, We love each other and this isn't so bad. In fact…_

"Katniss," he said, taking her teary face in his hands and bringing close to his, "we're going to have a baby." There was light in Gale's voice and a smile on his lips, "we're going to have a baby!" And he kissed her.

But Katniss wasn't kissing him back. In fact, she quickly pushed him away. "What are you doing?" She sounded angry. Gale looked hurt. He didn't understand what the problem was.

"Katniss, this isn't such a bad thing!"

"Not such a bad thing!?" she roared, "I'm pregnant!"

"I know, Katniss, I know, but we love each other! Is having a baby so bad?"

"We're not having a baby, I'm pregnant! They are two different things!"

It took Gale a moment to process her words and understand the distinction she was making. "Katniss, what are you talking about?"

"Come on, Gale, don't be so naïve…." She got up and circled around him as she spoke. "It was a pretty common thing back in the district, what do you think the chances are out here?" The light was slowing coming on in Gale's eyes as he realized where she was going with this.

"Katniss…" he didn't want her to think this way.

"No, Gale, come on! How many did Hazelle even lose? One before you, and what was it, at least two in between you and Rory?"

Gale's heart sank as she said this. Her words singed, but he knew she was right. The oldest of his younger siblings was six years younger than him. That wasn't planned. Gale remembered his parents telling him he was going to have his first baby brother or sister. He was only two or three at the time and pressed his ear to his mother's belly. His parents told him that a baby was growing in there. And then his father told him some time later that there'd been a mistake and not to mention it around his mother. Gale didn't understand why at the time, but he later saw his mother crying and never mentioned it again. The second time the baby survived to be born. He remembered that her name was Chessie. His father brought him into a room where his mother was lying in a bed and holding the smallest person he'd ever seen. His dad told him that this was his baby sister and asked if he wanted to hold her. Gale climbed up into the bed with his mother and she gently put the baby in his arms. Gale kissed her on the forehead and told his parents that he thought he loved her. They both laughed at that and everyone seemed happy. But Gale never saw Chessie again and his mother wasn't happy again for a long time.

"Okay, Katniss, calm down." Gale slowly processed his thoughts. He knew Katniss did have a point, but he didn't want to think about that right now. He didn't want to plan for the worst, for now, for just a moment, he wanted to be happy. "Katniss, Katniss," he tried to reach for her, but she again pushed away. "Just calm down, okay? Let's not think of the worst possibilities right now, okay, let's just try to enjoy this.."

"Enjoy this!?" He voice cracked. "What's there to enjoy, Gale!?"

"That we could be a family!" Why was she acting this way? "That we could be happy and a family away from the clutches of the Capitol. There isn't some part of you that's happy about that!?"

"No!" Gale stepped back, legitimately hurt that she'd said this.

"What?" His eyes searched her face, trying to understand. "Katniss – "

"No! Gale, I don't want to talk about it! I don't want to dream with you! This isn't happening!"

"Okay, okay, Katniss," he reached for her again, clearly she wasn't ready to talk about this. He knew she never really wanted kids, maybe she needed time. And, Gale realized, she was the one who actually had to have the kids. If the pregnancy came to term, and as much as Gale didn't want to think about it, Katniss had a valid point there. Tears were streaming down her eyes, and Gale was upset to see her so upset. "Come here, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" She roared again.

"Katniss, it's okay, it'll be okay."

"No it won't, Gale!"

"Look, Katniss, I know you never wanted kids, but can you really feel this way about our baby?"

"That's not it!"

"Then what is it?

"Because, Gale, just because the baby survives…doesn't mean…" And she began to choke on her words. Tears poured off her cheeks, and Gale suddenly realized. It didn't mean that she'd survive. Loosing children was pretty common in Twelve, but losing mothers was almost just as much. Katniss knew this better than most, with her mother being a healer and all. She heard all the stories, of women in labor for hours, of children who made it, of mothers who didn't and vise versa. Gale didn't give Katniss the opportunity to push him away this time. He grabbed her and held her close to his chest. Tighter than he'd ever held her before. Katniss falls to her knees, sobbing. And Gale sinks with her. He doesn't know how to address these fears. Not for her, and not for himself.

* * *

Gale was able to keep ahold of himself by focusing on Katniss.  _I have to be strong for her,_ he told himself as he cradled her in his arms,  _I have to take care of Katniss._ But after an untold amount of time passed, Katniss's tears eventually subsided and Gale realized that she had fallen asleep.

Gale gently carried her over to their campsite. He set her down comfortably on a blanket and covered her with another one to make her warm. He gently brushed her hair out of her face and looked down lovingly at Katniss, but he couldn't recall the happiness he'd felt earlier. Katniss was right, this was not a joyous situation. He couldn't believe that just an hour or two ago, he was sitting in that very spot cooking dinner, almost carefree. Sure, he was irritated by Katniss's mood, and he was worried about how long it would take them to get home, and what would happen once they go there, but he was mostly enjoying the cool night breeze and the sound of the birds and the nearby water.

But now, everything had changed. Katniss was pregnant. She was going to have a baby. And the only thing more terrifying than that was the possibility of her not having the baby. That he might lose either the child, or her, or both of them. And that thought was more than he could bear. So he pushed it as far out of his mind as possible. "Listen, Katniss," he whispered closely into her ear, " I know I don't have to tell you this because you're strong, you're stronger than anyone else I've ever known, but we've got to make it through this, okay. I can't lose you, you hear me?" His face was practically buried in her hair and he almost felt tears coming to his eyes. He pulled her as tightly to himself as he could. "I'll do anything you need me to, but we've got to make it through this. Okay? I can't live without you. I won't make it without you." He repeated until he too fell asleep clutching her in his arms.

Katniss awoke the next morning still cradled in Gale's arms. He was awake, holding her, and gently rubbing her back. She had to admit it felt nice. He stopped as she stirred, and she mumbled, "don't stop," as she rubbed her eyes.

A faint smile met Gale's lips. "Okay." And he continued. She shifted her position next to him, allowing him greater access to her back, and he took cue from her movement and began to give her a proper message. "Does that feel good?" He asked.

"Mmmhmmm," she mumbled a sign of contentment.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," Katniss spoke between breaths as Gale's message got more intense. He slid his hands under her shirt and let him work on her soft skin. "What about you?"

Gale brushed some of her hair out of her face and smiled. "How are you feeling today?"

Katniss pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes and smoothed her hair. "Umm," she said a bit slowly, "Okay I guess."

"Yeah?" Gale questioned tentatively.

Katniss seemed to be thinking about it seriously. And as she thought, she realized that she actually felt better this morning than she had in the past few. She realized that with Gale knowing, while at first it terrified her, she did feel better. Like a lot of the pressure was off of her shoulders. It didn't mean she was less nervous, or less frightened, but there was something comforting in Gale knowing. Something about sharing the burden or load.

"Do you want anything for breakfast?" Gale asked, slowly pulling his hands out from under her shirt.

Katniss again thought about this for a moment. She'd hardly eaten at all in the past few days, with everything making her nauseous. But the days of not eating made her feel weak and frail. "I think I should eat."

Gale nodded and hopped up. "What would you like?"

Katniss was quiet again for a few moments. She thought about what she wanted to eat, but nothing sounded good to her. "I don't know." Gale looked at her intently, though he didn't say a word. She tried thinking about what she'd like to eat, but the thought of food made her gag. "I'm not sure I want anything right now."

"Katniss," Gale began, his voice filled with reproach, "you really need -"

"Gale," she cut him off, suddenly about to vomit.

"Katniss?"

I think I'm going to be sick." She said, resting her head against a tree. She sat there for several minutes. "Can I just have some water?" She finally said.

Gale quickly handed it to her. "Better?"

She drank a lot and nodded. "God, I hate this."

Gale looked at her, feeling helpless. He wanted to do something to make it better. "Is there anything I can get you?" He rubbed her back.

"No. I think I'm just going to rest some more." She took another sip of water and laid back down.

Gale watched her for several minutes, hoping somehow he could find some answers. His mind was ablaze with worry and concern, wishing he knew the right thing to do to take care of her. He couldn't even imagine how bad she must feel. He didn't know if she was in pain or suffering. He actually didn't know much about pregnancy at all, he realized. He tried to think back to his mother's pregnancies. He shakes his head, frustrated he doesn't remember much. He can't even recall when his mother was pregnant with Vick. he just remembered being sent out of the house one day to stay at a relative's, and when he came home, there was a baby. He could remember his mother being pregnant with Rory, though neither his father or mother said much about it. Posy's pregnancy was the most vivid. Perhaps because Vick and Rory asked so many questions about it.

Gale searched his mind for what he knew:

_If you have sex, you get pregnant._

He felt dumb for having been so reckless with Katniss.

_I should have known better,_ he cursed,  _how couldn't I have been so stupid?_

He also knew pregnancies lasted nine months. Or, he thought he did, but he wasn't positive. He scoured his brain. But that seemed to be all he had.  _Come on, Gale, you're a man, you've been in the world almost twenty years, you've got to know more than this…_  But he came up with nothing.  _Damn,_ he swore, frustrated. He got up and paced, somehow hoping that would make things better.

_Sex...nine months...sex…_ The thoughts circled his mind.  _You've got to know more, Gale, think!_ He forced himself.  _Sex...babies...nine months...labor…_ though he had to admit, he didn't know much about labor, though he had the distinct feeling it was hard and painful. Another useless thought.  _Breastfeeding?_ He knew about that too, but it also was useless at the moment. Gale was getting frustrated. His pacing quickened as he tried to pull more information out of his brain. He was starting to feel helpless and that angered him.  _Come on, Gale, think. They never taught you anything in school, but you've seen pregnant women before...there's got to be something…._ "God damn it," he swore as he stumbled, leg caught in his backpack's string. He cursed has he hit the ground. The contents spilled out around him. He swore again as he began to pick everything up. he put some the water bottles back and grabbed a blanket. It was covered in dirt, so he stood back up and began to shake it off when he heard a thunk.

_What?_ Gale looked surprised and then he saw the small object that'd hit the ground. It was the medical box they'd pulled from one of the capital hovercrafts. Gale heart jumped with excitement. He slowly opened the box, his heart filling with hope that it would have all the answers.  _How had he not thought of this before?_

"State the medical emergency," the familiar voice commanded. Gale had never been so excited to hear a capitol accent.

Gale looked at her hopefully. "Pregnancy," he spoke into the box.

A small light emitted from the box and scanned him. "Patient is not pregnant though seems to be experiencing high levels of stress. Suggested treatments include regular, moderate levels of exercise, a healthy diet, psychoanalysis…."

"You gotta be fucking kidding me." Gale's first instinct was to throw the box or crush it, but he resisted and took a deep breath.  _You can figure this out, Gale._ He examined the box and the Capitol woman continued telling him how to manage his stress. He pressed buttons and eventually got a menu screen to come up and figured out how to scroll though. He found a list of illnesses, but pregnancy wasn't included there, and a list of treatments, but pregnancy wasn't there either. Finally, he came across a medical dictionary. He held his breath as he scrolled.

A...B...C...DEFGHIJ...

He finally got to the P section. Paralysis...Pathogens...Pharyngitis….Placenta…. He scrolled faster. Pneumonia….Polyps… Preeclampsia...Pregnancy.

Pregnancy.

The word hovered below his finger. And he clicked it.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Gale wasn't sure how long he spent with the little box, but he read through every article they had on the topic. He learned about trimesters and amniotic fluids. About the placenta and breast milk. He learned the word zygote and fetus and umbilical cord. He also learned that their baby was currently the size of a seed and it would grow to be the size of a watermelon.

"Wow…" He mouth hung open as he took all the information in. "A watermelon..."  _How is it even possible…_  he began to wonder when he heard Katniss stirr. He rushed over to her. He handed her more water and rubbed circles on her back.

"Katniss…"

"If you say one word about food, Gale Hawthorne…"

"I won't, I promise." He had a better idea, and he was eager to tell her. While searching through the medical box, he found more units of the fluids he'd used on her after the crash injury. She could all the nutrients and energy she needed and wouldn't have to eat a thing. "It's important you stay hydrated," he began.

"I'm drinking water." She said tersely and shook the water bottle in his face.

Gale took a deep breath. "I know, and I think that's great." He was very tired of getting snapped at, his recent reading made him sympathetic as he couldn't get the image of the watermelon out of his mind.

"Oh, don't condescend me," she snapped.

"Katniss," Gale had about had enough. He jump up, ready to unleash. "Watermelon," he told himself under his breath.

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing." I've just got an idea - "

"Oh? You've got a good idea?" Her tone was biting.

"Damn it, Katniss, will you shut up and listen to me." His voice was firm. Katniss opened her mouth to rebuke him, but Gale stopped her. "I've had about enough of this. I get that you feel awful. And I get that you think it's my fault you feel awful. And it might be. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel terrible. I'm sorry you feel terrible because you're pregnant. And I'm sorry I'm the one who got you pregnant. And you can hate me for that if you want to because I know you never wanted kids, and that's fine. But I'm trying. I'm trying really hard. I'm sorry and I'm trying to make things better because I care." He her gaze which was no longer challenging. "And if you're trying too, and this is the best you can do, then I'll deal with this, I swear." Katniss looked away. It was clear he was getting to her, and now that she stopped to think about it, she had to confess, she felt pretty bad because she wasn't trying to help or deal at all; she was just mad and scared and angry. And she was pretty sure it was Gale's fault.

"What's your idea?" She finally said, looking back at Gale.

He had to admit, he was hoping for an apology, but he took what he could get for the time being. He pulled out one of the intravenous essentials from the medical kit. "I think this will help you feel better. It's full of nutrients and vitamins and other stuff…" Gale kneeled down beside her and took out the needle to inject it in. "You'll feel better once it's in your system, and then it will be easier for you to eat."

"How do you know that?" She asked as he inserted it.

"I've been reading."

"Reading?" Katniss asked incredulously.

But Gale just smiled mischievously and didn't answer.

Katniss drifted back to sleep after Gale gave her two pouches of fluids. While she was resting, he went to scrounge up some food. Hopeful that she'd feel like eating now that she had the fluids in her. He knew the scent of meat was one of the things that seemed to make her sick, so he found several types of nuts he planned on roasting. He also picked more fresh berries and found a field with clover, wild onions, and amaranth seeds, which were highly nutritious. At the very least, he could possibly make some sort of stew, and he hoped that'd be easier for her to keep down. He also found some wild mushrooms. By the time Gale made it back, he had to admit he was a bit excited and proud of his feast.

Katniss awoke to find him by the fire. he was roasting the nuts and had arranged the berries and mushrooms on a large leave on a rock.

"Careful," he said as soon as he saw her walking towards him. "I don't want you to get sick if you don't like the smell…"

Katniss smiled. His concern was sweet. "Thanks, but I feel fine. It actually smells pretty good."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So are you hungry?"

She thought about it for a second, waiting to see what he stomach told her. "I'm starving."

Katniss ate just about everything Gale had made. And by the time she finished, she had to admit, she was feeling much better. "Thank you, Gale."

"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you finally ate. So you're feeling better?"

"Yeah. I think so." She got up and sat next to Gale. She felt she should say something, but she didn't really know what. She knew she'd been awful the past few days, and she knew she should apologize for her behavior, but she didn't feel it was all her fault considering how bad she felt and how stressed she was and how tired and hungry and sick.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" his voice was full of concern.

"I don't know," she sobbed.

"Katniss?"

"I don't' know!" And suddenly, she couldn't stop crying.

Gale wrapped his arms around her and tried to offer support. "I'll be okay," he calmed. "This is normal when you're pregnant."

"I'm not pregnant!" she screamed. She hated that word. It was too much to bare.

"You're not?" Gale wasn't sure what she was getting at. "What are you then."

"I'm...I'm just like...sick or something. It's like, I have a condition."

"Yes," Gale agreed, "and that condition is called pregnancy."

"Don't use that word!" Sick she could deal with. Pregnant not so much. Pregnancy implied there was a baby, and Katniss just couldn't think about that right now.

"Katniss, I'm not trying to upset you, but I really think it's important we face the facts."

"Facts? Gale?" She stood up, angry and her voice cracked. "Please, tell me about the facts! What exactly do we know? What do you know? Do you know where we are? Do you know how we'll get home? Do you know if we'll get home? Well, do you?"

Gale resented the way she was addressing him, and he was tired of being treated like this, but what bothered him most of all was that she was right.

"Face it, Gale. You don't know anything. And you definitely don't know if I'm having a baby. So if it's all right by you, I don't want to talk about me being  _pregnant_ ," and her voice scathed as she said the word, practically dripping with hatred "because that means thinking about having a baby and I don't want to think about that!"

Katniss was pacing, breathing deeply, and practically fuming. As she finished her rage, she swung around to face Gale who'd been sitting and taking her diatribe. His eyes met hers and held her gaze. For a moment, both felt as though they were looking at a wild animal, afraid to look away and lose power. Gale slowly rose and Katniss realized the fire in his eyes. She realized everything she'd just said, everything she'd just implied, and she was a little afraid.

Gale rose to his full height. He took a step towards Katniss, who was still holding his stare. He wanted to challenge her. He wanted to fight back, and he really wanted to tell her to shut up. But he didn't. He just took another step toward her, and then another step past her, and walked away.

* * *

Katniss waited almost half an hour before she realized that she might have to go and find Gale. At first she was angry he didn't keep fighting with her because she wanted to fight so badly. She wanted to let loose her rage. And she needed something to fixate it on...and out here, the only person she could do that to was Gale. And that wasn't fair. She knew that. Once her own anger subsided, she realize that Gale had a temper himself, and while she'd never crossed it before, she realized that she had probably just toed that line.

"Gale?" She got up to look for him. "Are you out there?" There was no response. "Gale, please...Can we talk? Please?" She tried to sound sincere, "Are you there? I'm ready to talk to you about this." Still no response. Katniss walked to the river and back to the tree line, continuously calling his name. "Ok, Gale, this isn't funny. Look, I know I was being impossible and I know you're mad." Still nothing. Katniss began to worry. "Gale? Gale? Please, Gale?" Her voice broke as she panicked. She started to look around to see if she could trace his footsteps. But she can't. Her heart started to beat quickly and she couldn't control it. "Gale," her voice trembled, "Gale, Oh my god, Gale, Please!"

She heard a stick break behind her and swung. Gale was emerging from the forest.

"Gale!" she shrieked and ran to him. "Oh my god! you scared me!" She threw her arms around him and held him desperately. After a moment she realized that he wasn't hugging her back. "Gale?" his name was this time a question. "Gale? Please, you have to understand, I'm just so scared and angry and uncertain-"

But Gale cut her off. "Are you sorry?"

"What?"

"Are you sorry?"

Gale's eyes were serious and deadly. Katniss steps back, not exactly afraid but apologetically. "Yes."

"You are?"

"Yes. Gale. I'm sorry. I know i'm not being fair and I know I'm being mean and I know I'm not being rational and I'm scared...in fact, I'm not scared, I'm terrified because I don't know anything."

Gale finally returned her hug. As his arms embraced her, she felt like things were alright for the first time in a long time.

"You always knew I was difficult," she muttered into his chest. She heard a faint chuckle from inside his chest. "Do we need to talk more about this?"

"Yeah," Gale answered, rubbing her back and letting go, "I think so."

Katniss took a step back and wiped a tear from her eye. "Okay."

"Are you ready?"

"No," she said honestly, "but we might as well get this over with."

Gale nodded and took her hand so they could sit down. "Talk to me, Catnip."

Katniss threw him a petulant stare. "I thought you were the one who had things to say." But as she said this, she realized that she was trying to be nice and that she couldn't keep snapping at Gale. "Sorry, I just, I'm not sure I have anything to say."

"Talk to me," he repeated, his gray eyes locked on hers, making her feel safe and at ease, and pulling out the truth.

She couldn't stop the tears from rising to her eyes. She felt stupid for crying so much, and cursed internally, blaming it on the hormones. "I'm scared, Gale. I'm scared and lost and confused." He reached out and wrapped his strong arms around her. "I don't know how to do this...I don't know what this means...I never wanted it, especially now, while we're out in the woods, trying to make our way back to fight a rebellion…" Gale reached in and kissed her on the side of her head, "it's just so...so...inconvenient." She could hear him chuckle softly. Gale was amused that in impracticality of the pregnancy was what upset her most. That made sense, that's the same reason the Capitol upset her too. In a strange way, it comforted him. It was good to know that she hated the inconvenience of pregnancy more than the idea of it. "I mean, how am I going to lead a rebellion if I'm pregnant?"

Gale laughed louder this time and pulled her closer. "I love you," he said.

"I know you do. I don't hate you." Gale threw her a quizzical look. "For getting me pregnant. I don't hate you."

"Um...Thanks." It sounded more like a question.

"I mean, I still blame you." She smiled as she said it.

"That's okay. I can deal with that." He pulled her in tighter. "We'll figure this out."

She looked up at him and only nodded. He leaned down to kiss her. Their lips remained locked for minutes.

"Do you want to tell me what you read?" Katniss finally asked.

"Yeah," Gale agreed, and he proceeded to tell her what he learned from the box, though he left the bit about the watermelon out. He'd just gotten Katniss to calm down for the first time in a long while. He didn't want to risk piquing her ire again. She nodded as she took it all in. He couldn't help but notice she felt detached.

"How much longer should the morning sickness last?"

"It normally only lasts a month or so," Gale told her, "and it usually starts four to six weeks in."

Katniss looked up at him and nodded. She thought back, trying to remember when the sickness started. "How long have we been by this lake?"

"About a week," Gale answered. She nodded again. She'd been getting sick for at least another week before that, though she thought it was mostly due to dehydration at the time. "So, I think you're at least five weeks along now." Gale told her his guess cautiously.

Katniss shook her head. "I was throwing at least a week before we got here." Gale looked alarmed. "I tried to hide it from you."

"You succeeded." He only sounded a bit upset.

"So, maybe six weeks?"

Gale nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Do you remember what we were doing six weeks ago?"

"Being stupid and irresponsible," Katniss huffed.

"And having fun," Gale's voice carried a note of playfulness.

She tried to scowl, but Gale's eyes pulled it down and turned it into a smile. "Yes, and having fun."

Gale walked closer to her and grabbed her in his arms. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him, her eyes now sparkling with that same hint of playfulness.

"Which night do you think it was then?" she looked down to her stomach, "when we did this?"

Gale smiled, eyes glistening as they sorted through clearly happy memories. As Katniss watched him think, she almost blushed, remembering the same nights.

_Was it the night she took him sitting against a rock, drawing kisses along his jaw and chest, and begging him to help hold her up so she could mount him from the front….Or was it the night she playfully refused to share the squirrel she'd caught with him because he'd failed to nab one of his own, and childishly ran off with her food, taunting him, and leaving him no choice but to chase and catch her and claim her….or was it the night she asked him if there were any other positions he knew about and they fell on top of each other clumsily as they failed to make it work, laughing, and made love sweetly, and tenderly under the open stars._

She tried to shrug off the shivers that grasped her as she thought back, a bit surprised at what they stirred in her. She'd been so sick and angry recently that she'd forgotten how much she enjoyed being with Gale.

"Six weeks…" she almost whispered, wondering how many more weeks of this lied before her and what those weeks would hold. For Gale's sake, she tried not to dwell on all the darkness they could hold, at least for a few moments.


	15. Chapter 15

"And I think we should stay here," Gale repeated, again, trying to keep his voice level to hide his anger and not provoke Katniss further. He was failing to do either.

"And I don't care!" She screamed back at him.

They'd had this conversation at least half a dozen times over the past week, and had failed to come to a compromise. Gale didn't want to risk venturing out into the woods again where they couldn't guarantee supplies or safety. Katniss wanted to leave. It'd been a moot point while she was still suffering from morning sickness so badly, she'd been feeling a lot better over the past few days, and was ready to leave.

"I'm not going spend the rest of my life by the stupid lake...with you!"

"I didn't say anything about the rest of your life, jeez…"

"No? When would we leave then? Would it be better to hike through the forest when I'm nine months pregnant and huge? Or after the baby is born? Because I think trekking through the wilderness with one is a great idea!"

He hated to admit it, but she have a point, but he was pretty sure he had one too. "Katniss, I'm saying I have it all figured out-"

"I know you aren't. I am!"

He took a deep breath to calm himself. He was going to let that one go. "I'm just saying, I don't think it's wise to go out in the woods when we have no guaranteed source of water."

"Gale, I'm leaving, you can stay here if you want."

"Katniss, wait." She picked up her pack and started marching off. "Katniss!" He ran up to her and grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face him. "Okay. Look...Let's compromise." She looked up at him to show him she was listening. "How about we go, but we stay by the river. We just follow it out." He turned her and pointed in it's direction.

Katniss took a deep breath and considered it. It was a pretty good proposal. And much better than her idea of just storming off into the forest blindly, which is what she had intended to do.

"What do you think?" He said brightly.

She took another deep breath. and looked up at him. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" His excitement showed.

"Yeah," she repeated with a smile.

They packed their things and headed off, following the river until it grew dark.

"How are you feeling?" Gale asked.

Katniss tried not to sound too annoyed, but this was probably the tenth time he'd asked her. She knew it was just because he cared, but she didn't like the implication that she was weak. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure you don't need a break?"

 _I need a break from your stupid questions!_ But she didn't say that. She was consciously trying to not snap at Gale as much. The results of her attempt were mixed. "Nah, let's keep going...til sundown," she assured him. It was only an hour or so away by that time anyhow.

Gale wasn't sure if he believed her to tell him if she was fine or needed rest, but he agreed. They continued on til it got dark. "Ready to make camp?"

"Yeah," Katniss pulled her bag off her shoulders, "this looks like a good place. Plus, I'm starving."

"How far do you think we've gone today?" Katniss asked as they pulled out supplies for dinner.

"Eight miles, maybe ten."

Katniss nodded. "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Gale took a deep breath. He picked up a twig and started to draw in the dirt. "So, if we started here," he drew a little 'x' we initially walked east, assuming that the hovercrafts had taken us west." Katniss nodded. She remembered that discussion. Gale traced a faint line east of the 'x'. "But we then went south west, when nothing showed up eastwards, and that should have taken us parallel to where we crashed."

"Yep," Katniss agreed as she watched Gale form a small triangle on the ground.

"And then we kept going west farther….and now," he looked around, "we're sort of headed north." They both looked down at the tangled drawing Gale had made. He laughed and shook his head. "I've no idea where we are."

"Yeah…." she reached over to touch his hand, reassuringly, trying to communicate that it was okay, and tried not to think about the implications.

They ate quickly, both hungrier than they realized, bodies reacting to the calories they burned in their hike, and then set up camp, as both were sleepier than they realized as well.

As Gale threw down their blankets, Katniss eagerly climbed in his arms, needing their comfort since there was so little else that could provide it out here. She snuggled tightly to him and focused to the sound of his beating heart as she tried to find sleep.

"Kiss me?" she asked him, looking deep into his gray eyes, wanting to lose herself in there.

Gale happily complied, and she reveled in the warmth his lips inspired in her, letting her lips move over his and his over hers, letting their tongues find each other and press roughly. Katniss had forgotten how much she liked this. She took Gale's face in her hands and kissed him more desperately.

It wasn't long before she noticed that Gale was liking this too. She could feel him grow hard against her and his hands began to move with more fervor. They were quickly moving to pull off her shirt and her pants, and she rolled on top of him to make this easier. Gale's hands swirled around her body, stopping occasionally to grab her breasts and butt, and squeeze tightly, eliciting deep moans from Katniss. She held tightly to his head as he traced kisses down her neck and chest, lips finding and savoring each of her nipples as he moved southward, and massaging her all while.

"Ohh, Gale," she sighed, barely able to take it any longer. She wanted him inside her.

His lips had found hers, and he began kissing her down there, doing amazing things with his tongue that made her forget how to think.

"Oh, Gale, yes, yes," became the only words she knew. "Oh, Gale," she repeated again and again.

"Yes."

"Gale..."

"Yes?"

"Gale!"

"Yes, Katniss? What is it?" Gale shook her awake.

Katniss needed a second to collect herself. Gale was lying next to her, concern written across his face. Both of them were clothed. She'd, apparently, been dreaming.

"Katniss, are you okay?"

"Umm," she was still processing her thoughts, "yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was just…" small ripples of pleasure were still coursing through her, "Yeah. I was just...dreaming."

"Were you having nightmare?"

"Nope," she smiled mischievously as she said it.

"Okay…" he still seemed a bit confused, not quite able to read her. "Do you need anything?"

She crooked her head and thought about it for a second. "Yes."

"What?" He sounded a bit worried.

"You," she grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled him to her.

"What?"

"Kiss me," she said, looking longingly into his eyes, "just kiss me." She pushed her lips to his before he could ask another question.

It didn't take long for Gale to realize what she wanted. He'd been missing her too, apparently. He gently lied her down on her back and slowly, sweetly took off her top and pants. She almost too excitedly attacked his belt, and he had to help her get it off. His hands roamed the entire length of her body, caressing her breasts and warming her hips and they rubbed up and down. His kisses sent her nerves to shatters as found her body. Just like in her dream, she began to moan in pleasure.

"Oh, Gale, yes."

Katniss let her hands revel over the lines of his body, somehow both hard and soft at the same time. She trailed wet kissed across his skin and made sure he could feel her breath on his ear as she moaned out his name.

"Oh, yes."

The sounds he returned were unintelligible, but she knew they meant the same thing.

"I want you inside me."

Gale grunted as he moved his kisses downwards.

"No, Gale," she grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. "I want you inside of me."

"Katniss," he shifted his weight and moved a little, "is that...is that a good idea?"

 _Oh, god,_ she thought,  _if he brings up that damn baby at a moment like this…_

"Yes, Gale, please."

"But Katniss…"

 _Seriously?_ She puffed in irritation, and decided to let her hands do the convincing. They found Gale's already erect member and began working.

"Wait, Katniss…"

"It's fine, Gale," she breathed between kisses as she made him harder. "I promise."

"Are you sure?" Should could tell he was losing his resolve. His voice was growing shakey.

"Yes, I'm sure," she repeated, but she'd already convinced him as he was already positioning himself to enter. Her breathing quicken, heart exploding with excitement.

"Oh, Gale, yes...yes!"

* * *

Katniss and Gale followed the river for the next several days. Katniss continued to get better at not snapping at Gale as he learned to not talk about or even reference her pregnancy. Her morning sickness had subsided, and with the constant reminder of her pregnancy gone, Katniss seemed contented to act like she wasn't pregnant at all. Gale wanted her to take it easy, get plenty of rest, and eat well, but Katniss refused to do anything but push on, and Gale suggesting anything merely resulted in a fight. She looked healthy though, and he even noticed her stomach growing slightly rounder, though he didn't dare mention it, so he assumed more than hoped that all was well.

Katniss felt better walking again. She had always been a doer, and camping out by the water made her feel stuck. She felt stuck and that made her feel trapped, and there was nothing worse than feeling trapped. And that made her angry, but now that she was out walking again, moving, towards something, it didn't even matter what, but it made her feel unstuck. It made things better.

As she and Gale walked on, she felt like things had returned to normal. There were even long stretches of time when she forgot she was pregnant and that they didn't know where they were going-they were just happy together out in the woods, where they belonged.

And the happiness she felt during the day was doubled at night when she made love with Gale. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but sex felt better now. Her body was a live wire, always electrified by Gale's touch. He could send rivers of heat and pleasure coursing through her...his hands, his tongue, his eyelashes, his dick, his lips. Sometimes she never wanted him to stop touching her. Sometimes she only wanted him to touch her. She just wanted to lay there and demand he please her and do nothing in return. And other times, she just wanted to please him. She wanted to touch every hard line of his body, she wanted to tap every soft spot. She wanted to watch his face transform as he lost himself in her. And then she wanted to find him again.

Sometimes, she wondered if they'd get bored of each other, if they'd run out of things to do. But that was not the case.

As long as things stayed like this, she thought, everything was perfect.

But of course, things weren't going to stay like this.

"Gentle, Gale," she said between her deep, panted moans as he trailed kisses down her breast in the bright, white moonlight as she sat on top of him. "Hey, be gentle."

"Sorry," slipped through his lips as tried to kiss her even more softly than he had been, and he was pretty sure he'd been kissing her softly. He began to place his kisses lower. He gently tucked his arm behind her and twisted her around, lowering her to the ground below him. He softly placed her on her back and her resumed his kissing, picking up where he left off. His lips barely touched her skin, each faint kiss winding her up with excitement, making her feel like she was going to snap. When she could no longer take it any more, she grabbed his face and pulled it up to his and kissed his lips urgently as she found his hard, stiff member and guided it with in her.

She was so incredibly wet, Gale could hardly stand it. His thoughts scattered as pleasure overrode his brain and instinct took over it. At times like this, he felt like this was the was meant to do. He pulled his body in and out of hers, waiting for her to reach her ecstasy before he took his. Her moans met his grunts and she wrapped herself around him, pulling her legs tightly behind his butt and taking him deeply within in her. He panted her name, and she knew this was driving him wild as she squeezed tighter each time he was full within. "Oh, god, Katniss," he said with hot, heavy breaths, "I'm going to...god...going to..."

"Come," she said, with him, as something between a command and permission. As she said it, he unspooled inside and fill her. She held his face against her chest and kissed his forehead as he regained his senses, fingers tangled in his hair.

"Oh god, I love you." He pulled himself up slowly, and kissing her inner thigh. "I love you," he repeated, as he then kissed her stomach, "and I love your body." He now kissed her breast.

"Ow! Gale!" She swatted at him playfully, "be gentle."

"I am being gentle," he said as he scattered small kisses across her, "your breasts must be tender."

"They aren't!"

"Yes they are," he said, flicking the tip of her nipple ever so slightly, "they're getting bigger too." His tone oozed affection and delight, oblivious to Katniss's concern.

"No they're not." She defended again, like he'd accused her of something.

"Yes they are, trust me, I'm an expert when it comes to your boobs," he smiled and placed his hand over one of her breasts, "and your boobs are bigger." He was practically purring. "Don't worry, it's a good thing." He looked up at her, but his grin fell as he saw the scowl across her face. "Hey," his tone changed to one of comfort, "it's not a problem. This is a normal side effect in pregnancy and plus, I like really them." He leaned in to kiss her softly, but when he came up, her face twisted in a scowl.

Gale realized his mistake-pregnancy. He hadn't said that word in almost three weeks, and Katniss's entire body tensed as soon as he'd said it. "Oh, come on, Katniss." He rolled his eyes not in the mood for another one of her moods. "You can't pretend you're not pregnant forever. Even if you want to." That last remark came out accusingly.

She huffed heavily and turned her back to him, curling up. She was mad and she was sad. She'd been feeling so good recently, and thinking of her pregnancy just ruined it. What was there to be happy about? Her changing body? He might like her bigger boobs, but they weren't so much fun for her. Always hurting and hardly fitting in her bra anymore. And speaking of not fitting into things, her pants were other issues that she just couldn't deal with...And then there were the backaches and foot aches and all other sorts of aches that seemed to be creeping in on her...

"Hey," he tried to comfort her, "don't be upset. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay."

"Do you really hate this that much?" he was offended.

She rolled over to face him, eyes glaring. "I'm sorry, Gale. I'm glad you enjoy my breasts so much. I'll try not to let the pain they cause me get in the way of you having fun next time." There wasn't even a hint of apology in her tone.

"Katniss, I didn't mean-"

She cut him off. "Oh, no, no, really, it was my fault. I'll do better next time and suffer through-"

"Suffer?" This was a note of pure alarm in his voice. He couldn't gauge if she was being serious or dramatic. "You're suffering?!"

"Of course I'm suffering, Gale! My feet hurt and my back hurts and my boobs hurt! And all you want to do is touch them!" All the unpleasant thoughts and complaints she'd kept coiled up in her head were pouring out now. She'd kept them in check for a few weeks, but now there was no stopping.

"I didn't realize-I'm sorry!"

"And my head hurts and I always have to pee. Sometimes, I still get sick!" She continued listing all her complaints. Gale soon realized she only wanted him to listen. "And you're enjoying all this!"

"I am not!" She looked at him like she didn't believe him. "Damn it, Katniss, I'm not. I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt so bad."

"I do."

"Ok, I'm sorry. You have to tell me these things. Will you just...calm down. Look. We can take a break if you want to. Take it easier…"

"I don't want to do that!"

"Then what do you want? Anything? Or do you just want to be angry all the time?"

"Maybe! It's either angry or sad. Take your pick!"

"Those are the only two options?"

"Yes!"

"Damn it, Katniss…" He had to force himself to take a breath. "Have you even tried to be happy?"

"What's the point of being happy when I'll probably just lose it? Do you want me to be happy now, and then devastated when that happens?"

"You don't know that that will happen."

"And you don't know that it won't! I mean, seriously, Gale, how can you even let yourself...how do you even let yourself think that?" Her tone fell from anger to true curiosity there. She really wanted to know.

"Because, Katniss, it's our child." He placed his hand over the tiny curve of her stomach, "it's made from you and me...and if there's one thing we know how to do, it's survive."

Katniss had never thought about things this way before, and before she knew it, a smile was tugging at her lips.


	16. Chapter 16

It'd been over a month since they'd left their lakeside camp, and they still didn't know where they were going. Though, the terrain was getting rockier and steeper, and Gale could see mountains on the horizon. He told Katniss this was a good sign, after all, District 12 was located in the mountains. He didn't really know if that meant they were any closer to their home. He hoped his comments reassured Katniss, but Gale was really hoping they'd find a good cave to take shelter in somewhere by this river where they could make camp. He didn't dare tell Katniss this, and he didn't know what he'd do once they actually happened upon this perfect cave that he knew was out there, but he was slowly getting more and more certain that they'd have to make a stop of a more permanent nature. Katniss was still refusing to take a break even though they were now walking at a much slower pace and covering far fewer miles each day. At their best, he figured they were able to cover 25, maybe even 30 miles a day. Now, they were lucky if they went 10 to 15. And even at their much reduced rate, Katniss was always tired and sore. She even slept past noon some days. Gale'd consulted the medical box which informed him that at about 12 weeks along, aches and pains were normal even if they weren't hiking several hours a day. At 12 weeks, the nausea and severe mood swings were also normal, which Katniss also displayed, in spades. He told himself this was just a sign that she was healthy, and suffered through it along with her.

She was actually in a much better mood sometimes, and while she still refused to talk about or acknowledge her pregnancy with him, he'd caught her protectively placing her hand over her stomach, which was now clearly curved, though still small, and humming happily to herself while she bathed. He didn't tell her, but he thought it was the most beautiful image - her cradling her middle, and her much larger breasts. And her breasts, they must have at least doubled in size, and while he found them amazingly sexy, they hardly fit into her bra anymore and she often complained of their soreness. And he honestly didn't know what to do about that. Her breasts weren't the only thing expanding. That belly of hers was getting bigger by the day. Katniss was now eating larger portions than he was, which was good until the day came that her pants could no longer close-she had a total meltdown. She screamed. And cried. And screamed some more. Most of her anger was mouthed intelligibly, but Gale made out words like "fat," and "gross," and "hate," and tried his best to calm her. He told her she was beautiful, and that she shouldn't worry about this.

"Don't worry about this, Gale? How am I not supposed to worry about this? If I keep getting bigger-and I will keep getting bigger!-I won't fit into any of my clothes! And then what am I supposed to do? Just walk around out here naked!?"

Gale forced himself not to smile at the idea of Katniss walking around out in the woods naked, that'd long been a fantasy of his, in his less mature years, but he reminded himself he had to be above that now, and promised her that if it came to it, he'd give her his clothes to wear and he'd walk around naked. That brought a smile to her lips and she calmed down. While she slept, he cut an inch or so of the bottom of his shirt and fashioned a sort of tie she could wear to hold her pants up in the mean time. It made him feel good to help, and he hoped his help meant something. He grew so fast as a kid, he remembered how awkward and awful he felt in clothes that didn't fit, so he could only imagine how Katniss felt now. And he really hoped that he was making her feel better.

After another week of hiking, the terrain got more difficult. They were entering the mountains now. Things got rockier and steeper, and Katniss began to struggle. She used to nimbly be able to climb up trees, her arms and legs were both strong, but now, she faltered.

"You alright, Catnip?"

"Yeah," she said dismissively, as she searched to find a place to hold her foot so she could hoist herself up. Gale reached down to help her, but she swatted his hand away. "I can do it!" She insisted, as she pulled herself up, but her feet couldn't find purchase, her arms quaked trying to carry her weight, but they couldn't, and before Gale could grab her, she fell.

The distance was short but she fell hard on her ass.

"Katniss!" Gale shrieked with concern as he jumped down to her, "Oh my god, are you okay?"

"Yes," she insisted as he came to her side, "I'm fine."

"Dammit, Katniss, you have to be careful." he was looking at her hands and face for any sign of injury. Her careless behavior was really beginning to get to him.

"I am being careful!"

"No, you're not. You're being stubborn and reckless and stupid."

She shot him an evil look. "I'm not weak!" She insisted as she pushed him away and pulled herself up.

"I didn't say you were. I just said you were stubborn, reckless, and stupid."

Her eyes shot fire at him. She wasn't sure if it was because she was hurt, humiliated, or hateful, but tears began to fill her eyes. "I'm not weak," she said through her tears.

"I know." He grabbed her and pulled her to him. At first, she refused to give into his hug, keeping her body stiff, but it only took moments for her to melt into him. He kissed her on the top of her head. "But you are pregnant. We're pregnant. That means we need to work through this together. You have to let me help you. You're not expected to do this alone."

She shakes her head, angry and frustrated, not wanting to hear or think or acknowledge any of this. "Yeah, okay." She said, breaking away and wiping her eyes. "Let's keep going."

Gale searched her, trying to figure out what was going through her head, but she'd been noticeably distant recently. She hardly ever said anything to him, and though she'd never been particularly chatty, this silence seemed different. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what ideas were running through her head, if she was happy, scared, angry...well, he was pretty sure she was angry...but he wanted to know why. He wanted to know if he could help. Or if he should worry.

But he didn't know how to address any of this, so he just agreed. "Alright. Let's go." He stood aside and let her pass in front of him and was careful to stay behind her, in case she stumbled again.

They continued up the mountainous path for the rest of the afternoon. Katniss let Gale help her when she struggled and agreed to stop frequently to rest. Gale hoped that meant she'd listened to him about taking better care of herself. But maybe she was just getting tired. He couldn't tell.

They found a decent outcrop that offered them space to spread out and make camp. Gale went to the nearby water, now a trickling stream that they were following up the mountain, and filled their bottles while Katniss unpacked.

"Do you want me to make a fire?"

"Umm. Probably not. I don't think it'll get too cold tonight. Do you?"

"Probably not." He agreed as he portioned out their dinners.

And then they ate in silence.

"I think we made really good distance today."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he agreed, hoping this was a positive way to start a conversation.

"That's good," she replied.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said as she unpacked their things. they sat in silence for a few moments and then she said, "If you want to have sex, just say so."

"Wha-What?" She caught Gale completely off guard.

"We can have sex." She said casually.

"No-that's not what I was getting at."

"You don't want to have sex?" She asked as she sat down and took off her boots.

"No. I mean, yes, but, Katniss, I that's not what I was thinking about."

"Oh. Are you thinking about it now?"

"Yeah. I guess." This conversation was getting away from him.

"So do you want to have sex?" She asked matter of factly as she unfolded the blankets and made them a bed.

"Um. I guess. Do you want to?"

"I could go either way."

Gale couldn't believe what they were discussing. Only a few minutes before, he was on the verge of having a serious discussion with her. And now, they were talking about sex, which should have been the best thing ever, but they were discussing it with about the same enthusiasm and tone they would laundry. He couldn't believe it. Maybe this is what relationships were like, he wondered, perhaps the passion just couldn't sustain itself. He didn't realize, but he was smiling, laughing at himself.

"What it it?" Katniss asked, noticing the grin on his face.

"Oh, um, nothing. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Uh...us I guess."

"What's funny about that?"

"Nothing...I was just thinking...about how we're talking…"

Her expression told him she still didn't get it.

"I guess it's just funny...like...I remember when sex was the most exciting thing in the world to me-"

"Sex doesn't excite you now?" She sounded offended.

"No! That's not what I meant. I mean," he tried to recover, "we can talk about it so freely. I think that's great. Sex was once so rare, so forbidden, so taboo, and now, now it's like...it's like...laundry."

"Laundry?"

"I just mean something you can talk about easily. Freely."

"Okay…" Her tone was laced with doubt. He reached out to embrace her. "But laundry isn't sexy," she maintained.

"I know." He said as he leaned in to kiss her. "but you know what is?"

Her expression read: _what?_

"You!" And he did kiss her, passionately and deeply. He swung her beneath him and gently laid her down as their kiss grew.

"Really...though, Gale, laundry?"

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean anything….bad."

"Mmmmhumm." She muttered, still a bit dubious.

"But I mean, Katniss, you have to admit….the way we're talking about sex now…" She arched her eyebrow as he said it. "It's less sexy…"

"Less sexy? You think I'm less sexy?"

"No! You've never been sexier." He tried to make sure his tone and his face showed that he believed this-because he did. And he wanted Katniss to know it. He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her passionately, which she returned as she clung to him.

"Oh, hold on a second. I have to pee," she said, pulling away from him and give him one quick kiss. "I'll be right back." Half aroused, Gale suddenly felt cold as he watched Katniss scuttle off to the bushes. "Oh, now where were we?" She asked as she returned after a few moments and settled next to him, rolling in for another kiss.

"Are you sure you're okay?'

She pulled back and looked at him confusedly. "Yes. You already asked me that."

"I know," he clarified, "I just wanted to make sure. You seem a bit...different."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm good. I promise. Let's just get back to having the sex."

Gale leaned in to kiss her, but as his lips moved against hers, he couldn't stop the thoughts from pulling at his mind. "Katniss," he breathed through her kisses, "wait, let's….let's….do you want to talk?"

"No. I want to have sex. Don't you?"

"Yes. But...I also want to know what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking about having sex. Can we have sex now please?"

"Yeah, of course," he said as he grinned convincingly and grabbed her enthusiastically for a kiss. But after a few minutes of foreplay, Katniss could tell Gale wasn't really into it.

"What is it?" she inquired.

"What?"

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing. why?"

"Something up with you. I can tell."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I can tell because something else isn't up with you." Her hand reached down and flicked his still flaccid member. "You're not into this. Why?"

Gale pulled himself up and tried to sort through his thoughts. "I'm just...I'm guess I'm just worried about you."

"Why?"

"Because, Katniss, I love you and I care about you and you're pregnant with my child and I don't know what's going on with you."

"You don't know what's going on with me?" She threw her hands up dramatically. "I spend all my time with you. You're the only person in the world right now who knows what's going on with me."

"Yeah, but, I don't know how you feel about it."

"You still don't know how I feel about this? I thought I'd made that pretty clear."

"So you're upset about all of this?"

"Yeah." she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Katniss-"

"Look, Gale, I get that you're excited about this. Because you've always wanted it, but please remember that I never did. Especially right now, when we agreed to help start a rebellion. And you're the one who got me to agree to that, don't forget. I wanted to go run away, but you said we had to stay and fight. And then when Haymitch told me about taking up the Mockingjay mantel and being a mascot, which I also didn't want to do, which I hated….and you're the one who told me how much it could help, how big a difference I could make, you made me see how much I mattered. And now I'm all in. I care about this rebellion, I care about making this world better. I want it better for you. For Prim. For your mom and my mom and Haymitch. And Peeta. And everyone else. And maybe, when that world gets here, if that world gets here, maybe my thoughts about this will change. But right now, out here, in the circumstances we're in, it's not. This pregnancy isn't a blessing. It isn't a joy. I don't want this. I never did, you know that. We've had this conversation like ten times already." She cupped his face and looked endearingly into his eyes, as if to communicate that she still cared about him, even though she knew these words hurt him. "Just because I feel this way doesn't mean I don't love you."

But what Gale really wanted to know was if she'd love the baby. The worry had been stalking him recently, and he could hardly dodge it anymore. He knew he loved Katniss. She was his best friend and partner in all things. And he loved her because she was dedicated and loyal and cared deeply about the people she loved. She'd do anything to protect them. And she'd also destroy anything that got in her way. And Gale worried because he wasn't sure what side of the line this baby fell on-the side of the people she loved, or the side of things in her way. Because right now, to him, it seemed like the latter. And that worried him. It not only worried him, it frightened him.

"I love you and I know this upsets you, so I don't think about it. I don't think about it because when I do, I can't think of anything good. And to be honest, I don't know how the hell you can. I mean, honestly, the best case scenario is probably that we do get lost out here, and never make it back home. Because we could survive out here, you know we could, and the child could as well. But what kind of a life would that be for a kid? All alone? And what kind of life would that be for Prim? And you're family? I haven't forgotten about them. And I hope you haven't either. And what's the best case scenario for them? The Peacekeepers attacked our headquarters the day before we got lost out here, they took out our central, and probably a few others. Now we were warned, so hopefully a few others were as well, so hopefully that means that most the leaders are still in place, but now the Capitol knew we were planning something, so that means things are bad in the Districts. They're going to be strict and harsh and punishing. And that's either pushing the people closer to rebellion or making them too afraid to, and to be quite honest, I don't know which is worse…"

Gale listened in silence as she went on. He was both ashamed and surprised about how deeply she'd considered all this, about how carefully she'd considered the different scenarios, and how bleak they all were.

"So, tell me Gale, what are you think about? Because if you've got something good, I'd like to know. I'd like something bright and shiny to look forward to. Because I can't come up with anything, so I'm just trying to enjoy the moment for as long as I can. 'Cause things are just going to get harder. They're just going to get harder and darker no matter how this turns out. You know?"

* * *

Gale held Katniss especially close that night, and he didn't bring up the future again. This didn't mean that he didn't stop thinking about it, but when he did, he was certain to do so with a heavy amount of realism. Gale had never stopped to think about why he wanted kids and he also never stopped to think about why he wanted them with Katniss. He supposed he enjoyed being a big brother so much, that he'd also like being a father, but after his conversation with Katniss, he realized it wasn't as simple as playing with kids and putting food on the table. This baby was going to be more work than he originally thought, and it wouldn't be fair of him to leave all that work up to Katniss, especially when she was more important to the rebellion than he was. He still believe in his heart that he and Katniss would make it through this. They survivors - they could survive anything, even this - but making it through it didn't mean it'd be easy.

Katniss had never been one to dream about the future, so this came easier to her than Gale realized. But as the weeks passed, and she grew rounder, it became harder than she wanted to admit. She'd finally started thinking of _her baby_ now that her stomach was too big to ignore. It became real, and when she thought she felt it move, it became a person and she no longer felt comfortable thinking of it as an _it._ People aren't its, she told herself, so she pressed her hands to her stomach and held herself as tightly as she could and closed her eyes, trying to imagine her child, and when she did, she imagined a little girl, and from then on, it was a she.

"I suppose we should talk about names," she said as she plopped down to Gale to eat lunch one day.

He was almost certain he misheard her. "What?"

"Names," she repeated, "for the baby. I'm well into my second trimester, so I think this baby is actually happening."

Gale didn't even know he was smiling as he listened to her. A few weeks ago, he'd actually started thinking of names they might like, but he'd pushed all those thoughts from his mind recently. Naming their baby would only make him feel more attached to it, and that'd only make losing it hurt all the more. "Sure, Catnip, if you like."

Her eyes rose to met him and she smiled. "Hey, you called me Catnip."

"I always call you Catnip," he said.

"Not recently."

He realized she was right. He called her by her real name when he was being serious, and things had been very serious recently. He leaned in to kiss her, hoping that made her feel good and serve as a sort of apology. "So you've been thinking of names?"

"Yeah," she admitted, just a bit sheepishly.

"Alright," he could hardly hide his disbelief. "What would you like to name it?"

"Our baby's not an it!"

She was legitimately upset and Gale's smile grew. He leaned in and kissed her again. "I love you," he said and she beamed at him and brought his hand to her belly.

"I don't feel right say 'it' anymore."

"Okay," Gale wasn't going to argue with her. "So what would you like to name him?"

"Him?!" She sounded like 'him' was worse than it.

Gale laughed again. They hadn't laughed like this in a while. It felt good. He passed her some of the dried meat from his pack. "Her?" he corrected.

"Yes, her."

"How do you know it's a she?"

Her eyes narrowed at the word _its_ again. "I just do."

"Mother's intuition?" He realized after he said it that this was the first time he'd said the word _mother._ Neither he nor Katniss had discussed parenting yet. It'd been hard enough to get to her admit she was pregnant and then to admit that the pregnancy would lead to having a baby. Having to raise and take care of that baby was another whole issue. Gale braced himself for her uncertain reaction. But to his relief, and surprise, she embraced it well.

"I suppose you could call it mother's intuition."

"Alright," he said, "what would you like to name _her?"_ She couldn't help but notice that he didn't seem completely convinced about her intuition.

She rubbed her hands over her stomach which looked unmistakably pregnant now. "I've thought of a few," she began, "I was thinking of plant names, since that's the tradition in our district, and both or sisters have flower names, and I kind of like that."

"Okay."

"But I don't want anything too girly or prissy sounding."

"Of course," he agreed. He couldn't imagine them having a prissy child.

"Like Rose or Daisy."

"I agree."

"So maybe like the name of a wildflower or something? You know, still pretty, but not something you'd find in a garden."

Gale's smile couldn't get any bigger. He liked that idea a lot. "So, something like Toadflax or Phlox?" he joked?

"Ha ha," she laughed. "No."

"Snapdragon? Flycatch?"

"Gale," he voice was pouty, and it both turned him on and made him listen. "Okay, sorry. What names do you like?"

"So, I was thinking I kind of like…" she spoke slowly, cautiously, as if she were slightly afraid of Gale's reaction. It clearly meant something to her. "I kind of like Violet. Or Heather?"

"Hmm," Gale considered, "I like those. But Heather Hawthorne?"

Katniss's face crinkled; she hadn't thought of this. "Who said her last name'd be Hawthorne?"

Gale's body tensed at this. He had never considered otherwise. His shock was written all over his face and she could tell it bothered him.

"We're not married, you know."

"We'll get married," he said matter of factly.

"You like Violet though?"

"Yeah, I like Violet a lot."

Katniss smiled and chuckled a bit. "You want to know why i like that name?" Gale's expression said he did. "Because it sounds like violence."

They both laughed.

"And on the off chance it's a boy…" Katniss finally continued. "I haven't thought of one I really like, but I was thinking…"

But Gale quickly cut her off. "Oh, no, if we're having a boy, we're naming him Reed." He spoke so quickly it was clear he'd already spent a lot of time thinking about this. Katniss's expression showed her curiosity. "Because it's a highly flammable wetland plant, just like the katniss."

The question on her face turned into one of pure happiness. "Reed," she tired the name out and liked not only what it meant, but how it sounded. "Reed."

* * *

"Why do we have to keep going up?" Katniss asked between pants as she looked at the rocky and vertical path before them.

"Because," Gale said, extending his hand down to her, "that's where the view will be. Once we get to the top, we'll be able to see for miles and miles around."

"Okay…." she said, seemingly uninvested.

"We're almost there," he said, hoping that made it better. Her look said it didn't, so he did most of the work pulling her up.

"Katniss," Gale said with a tone she didn't register once they'd made it to the top. She was panting heavily and head her head to her knees, or at least, as close to her knees as she could get with her belly in the way, and gasping for air. "Katniss," he repeated, so she turned her head to the side to look at him.

"What?"

"Look!"

She struggled to raise her head, and Gale gave her his hand to pull her up so she could stand. She leaned against him and stared out before them. But she didn't see what he was so happy about. There were just more trees and water and more trees. "What?"

"Katniss!"

"What, Gale? I don't see Twelve," she said, looking at him like he was crazy.

"I know. But what do you see?"

She rolled her eyes, so not in the mood for this. But Gale turned her face back to the valley before them. "Trees," she huffed, annoyed.

"And?"

"A lake." She was still annoyed.

"And not just any lake," Gale said.

Katniss took a deep, irritated breath, and looked at the lake. She didn't see what was so special about it. Two smallish rivers flowed into it, one of which was probably the one they'd been walking along, she assumed, but other than that, she didn't see what could be special about it. But then she realized:

"Oh, my god, Gale!"

"Yes, Katniss, yes!"

They knew that lake.

It was shaped like a hummingbird, though that was hard to see from the angle they were looking from, so it looked upside-down, but now that Katniss had recognized it, she couldn't mistake it. The two rivers flowed into it forming the sharply pointed beak and wings of the bird, and the lake shaped its body and tail. And it's tail pointed directly towards Twelve.

"Oh my god, Gale!" She repeated, hardly comprehending this, "Gale!"

"I know," he said, looking down at her, exhilarated, euphoric, "We're almost home!"


	17. Chapter 17

Almost home might have been a bit of an exaggeration. The hummingbird lake was in the valley next to the valley District 12 was in. And an entire mountain range lie in between the two. Gale and Katniss were going to have to hike down the mountain they were currently on and then back up one more, and then down it to get home. That wouldn't be too tall an order were Katniss not currently four months pregnant, but she was, and Gale had seen how much she struggled getting up this one. And the next mountain was even taller. He wanted to have a serious talk to her about this.

"But we're almost home!" she pleaded, she was so excited, she wanted to start marching home now.

"I know, Catnip, but we need a plan. It's going to take us a while to get there."

"It's not that far!"

"It's over a hundred miles, Catnip."

"We can cover that distance in less than a week."

Gale shook his head. "Not anymore."

"I can push harder," she maintained.

"No." His tone was firm. He made it clear that that was not an option. If Katniss weren't pregnant, they probably could have made that hike in about a week. On his own, he probably could have done it in less, and Katniss in top form could do it in maybe seven days, maybe eight. But at the rate they were going now, he wanted to give them three weeks, maybe even four. They were also going to need to make sure they had plenty of food and water for it, as they'd be breaking away from the river now.

"I'm sure we'll find more water!" She maintained.

"Oh, well if you're sure." She glared at his snark.

"You know we'll find water on the hike down."

He knew she was right, most likely, but he wasn't willing to risk it now. "No, Katniss, we need to go back down to the last place we saw the stream and resupply."

"Are you crazy?" There was no way she was going to back track. "I'm going down, Gale, you can go back if you want, but I'm not moving in any direction that isn't towards home." She wobbled a bit are she rose, but she found her feet and started down the mountain.

"Are you crazy?" Gale grabbed her arm and swung her around. "You could kill yourself."

"I'll be fine."

"You could barely get up! Just now!"

Technically, he was right, but she looked at him like he wasn't. "Gale, there is always water flowing down mountains. Come on, please, I want to go home."

Gale tried to hold his steely resolve, but as her eyes reached his, he could feel it melting.

"Please, Gale," she reached up to his face and held it tenderly in his hand. "Please."

"Damn it," he looked away as she swore. "Fine. But you have to be careful. And we're taking lots of breaks."

"Of course." She swore.

The hike down wasn't easy. At around four months pregnant, Katniss wasn't really all that big. Her belly was noticeably round, but not large, though it did make the hiking difficult. She needed a lot of help going up and down the large rocks and boulders they encountered, and Gale's heart stopped every time she looked like she was going to stumble. As soon as they found water on the first day, they stopped for the night even though they had a few more hours of light left, Katniss was exhausted.

"Let's make camp here," Gale said.

Katniss was too tired to argue. She sat down and pulled food out of their pack and munchied feverishly.

"Here, drink water." Gale handed her the bottle he'd just filled. She drank almost the whole thing.

"I'm fine," she said before he could even ask if she was okay. "I'm just hungry."

He looked her up and down, deciding if he was going to believe her.

"I swear, Gale, I just need to eat. We could probably even go a bit further before it gets -"

"No," he rejected that idea. "We're not going any further today."

She wanted to argue, but she was honestly so tired, she was happy he said that, so she just nodded.

Gale fed himself and took out their blankets while Katniss washed herself by the river and went to pee. The sun was still setting when she came to sit by Gale on their blankets. She scooted close to him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. "I can't believe we're going home," she said, with her eyes shut.

"Yeah," Gale said, looking down at her. Seeing her already closed eyes, he laid down and helped her follow him so they'd both be comfortable. She snuggled in closer.

"I want you to know, I want to make love with you after today...but I'm too tired."

A small chuckle rattled in his chest. "Don't worry, Catnip."

She mumbled some sort of response. "What do you think things will be like…when we make it back."

Gale took a deep breath and thought about this for a few moments. "I'm honestly not sure," he began, pulling her close and placing his hand over her stomach. He loved doing that, he didn't know why. He couldn't feel the baby yet, but it was the warmest part of her body, and that heat reminded him of life. He felt proud, perhaps stupidly so, knowing that it was part of himself in there. "I think you were right in that conversation we had the other night, assuming things would have gotten hard after the Peacekeeper's raid, but I think the rebels will have found some other way to work around that. I bet all the Districts are working very closely together by now…" Gale looked down as he told Katniss this. She was already fast asleep.

The relatively good time down the mountain and were half way up the next one when Katniss finally had to ask for a break on top of the frequents ones Gale made.

"Hey," he called out breathlessly, "Gale, hold on a second."

"Yeah, of course," he rushed over to her and helped her sit down. "Are you okay?"

She looked up at him and nodded, but he could see the pain etched on her face.

Her legs and feet and back had all been stiff and sore for weeks. She'd had some heartburn and indigestion, but she'd managed through all that, but this, what she felt now, was different. A tight pain seized her body and she felt like she couldn't move for a minute. It was sharp and cutting.

"Catnip?" She closed her eyes, grabbed his hand.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not." he knew something was wrong and quickly got up to grab the medical kit.

"No, it's okay, I just have a cramp." She tried to dismiss him, and moved to get up and grab her pack again and keep going, but as soon as she did, the pain came sharper and stronger than before and she fell to her knees on the floor, crying out in pain.

"Katniss!" He tried to keep himself composed, but his mind was breaking, expecting the worst. He half expected to see blood rushing out of her, but didn't, and told himself not to worry.

He returned quickly with the medical pouch and ripped it open with one hand. The other he gave to Katniss. Her nails dug into him from the pain.

Gale mumbled and cursed and asked Katniss questions, but she didn't hear any of it. She just held his hand tightly until the pain passed, and when it did, his voice slowly came to her.

"Katniss," his tone was urgent, "how long did the pain last?"

"I'm okay now," she said, trying to deflect his question.

"Katniss!"

"Hmm?"

"How long did it last?"

"About a minute."

"Have you ever felt anything like that before?"

"I don't think so."

"You don't think so?'

"My whole body hurts. All the time. I get cramps sometimes, but not like this."

"Okay, I'm sorry," his hand caressed her face.

"It looks like it's a braxton contraction."

"A what?"

"That's what this says." Katniss was suddenly aware the accented lady from the medical kit was talking. "They are normal, and happen in the second trimester."

"They are?" she asked wearily.

"Yeah, but they shouldn't happen too often."

"Okay."

"The kit says dehydration can bring them on, and it also says you're dehydrated. Here, drink this." He handed her a bottle of water and she took a sip. "Drink more, Katniss." She huffed, but complied.

"Owww." Gale had stuck her with another pouch of the fluids from the medical kit. She wanted to tell him he was being overly cautious and that this was unnecessary, but she did feel a lot better.

She drifted off as the IV filled her veins and soothed her. She hadn't been planning on it, but she fell asleep, and when she woke up, it was dark. "Gale?" she said groggily.

"I'm right here, Catnip, it's okay."

She strained her eyes, waiting for the light to appear, and when it didn't she slowly realized it was dark. "Did I fall asleep?"

He chuckled, "yeah."

"What time is it?"

"It's late."

"Why'd you let me sleep so long?"

"You needed it. We've got to start taking it easier."

"We're already taking it easier. We stop like every other hour and rest. You let me sleep in as late as I want -"

"And we still need to take it easier. Your can't keep pushing your body. You're not getting enough rest, or enough food or water. I think we need to start taking days off."

"No!" She couldn't believe what she was hearing, they were so close to their home, and he wanted to put even more time between them and their destination.

"Katniss, we need to go slowly."

"We can't go any slower, jeez Gale!"

"Katniss-"

"Gale!"

"Katniss," he grabbed her hands and started urgently into her eyes. His tone told her that he wasn't going to compromise. "Katniss...I -"

His voice broke and she realized he wasn't being angry or stubborn...he was afraid. She wondered if she should be too. "Okay, Gale, okay." She snuggled in closer to him and fell back asleep.

The spent the entire next day resting. Katniss that entire night again and seemed content to rest in the sun while Gale scrounged around for food. Part of her itched to keep moving forward, but she had to admit, she didn't really want to move. Gale rubbed her back and her feet and she splashed in a small stream they'd found before taking a nap in the sunlight. She didn't want to admit it, but maybe this was what she needed.

It took them seven more days to reach the top of that mountain, and two of those days were spend just resting.

"Ready to take a break?" Gale asked her as they clamoured over a difficult patch of rocks.

"We're almost at the top, right?" she grabbed his and so he could help her.

"Yeah."

"Let's rest at the top then."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good. We'll see home from up there right."

"Yeah," Gale said, a smile breaking across his face, "we should."

"You ready, Catnip?" He looked down to her as he helped pull her to the top of the mountain.

"Yep," she said, helping him pull her up. "Can you see it?" she was unable to contain her excitement, "Can you see home?"

"You tell me." And he pulled her to the top, wrapping his arms around her as she moved in front of him and looked down on the valley-and there is was, laying out in front of both of them. Their home, District Twelve.

* * *

Gale and Katniss made good time down the mountain, and Katniss even agreed to rest for an entire day, but moving down hill was easier than going up, and they were propelled by desire to get home and see their families. After seven more days of hiking, they were in familiar surroundings. These were their woods.

Gale convinced Katniss to go to the cabin first and let him sneak in to District Twelve and figure out what was going on. At first, she protested, she wanted to go straight home and see her family, but Gale persuaded her otherwise. They needed to know how many Peacekeepers were around, how tight security was...they didn't know what anything was like, and with Katniss being so famous and so pregnant, it was best to keep her hidden. She saw the reasoning in what he said, but mostly agreed because she wanted Gale to be the one to tell their families she was pregnant.

"Okay, fine," she agreed as they walked across a meadow they often found berries in, " but if you go in first, you have to tell my mom you knocked me up. And Haymitch."

Gale laughed and agreed, "Okay, okay," he said with a smile, even though inside, he was feeling nervous. Sharing their information with the world didn't frighten him, but he was acutely aware of how his reality would change - telling his mother, and Katniss's, and, his stomach turned, Haymitch. Haymitch did frighten him, a bit, actually. Gale never could explain why, but Haymitch was the only person who'd made Gale feel like a child still. He liked to think of himself as a man, and he'd thought of himself that way pretty much since his father died. He was responsible and dependable and brave. No one would refute that. But Haymitch, a drunk and sloppy as he was, he was the kind of man who knew the size of things. He was the kind of man who understood stakes. Haymitch was deeply involved in the rebellion, and for that, Gale respected him, not that he'd ever tell anybody, and he knew Haymitch would be the only one who'd rebuke them. Gale's mother would be overjoyed, Katniss's skeptical, but still happy, and Haymitch, he'd be the only one to call them stupid. And Gale knew he'd be right to do so. And that made him feel - _small._ Gale tried to hide his unease from Katniss as they strolled across the meadow. She was nothing but excited to be back home.

"I'm not sure what I'm more excited about-sleeping in a bed or eating canned food. I never thought I'd be excited about canned food, but let me tell you, I am craving salt so badly right now. And...oh my god, Gale, I can take a bath!"

Her face shone and he leaned in to kiss her. She was so happy, he didn't want to trouble her with the worries that were plaguing his mind.

They made it to the cabin that evening, and part of Gale wanted to spend one more night with Katniss, one more night in the world where it was just then and everything was okay. It wasn't always fun, and it certainly wasn't easy, but just the two of them, it was okay. He didn't know what it was going to be once they rejoined everything else.

"I'll be fine," she told him for the tenth time, sensing his worry. "And plus, it'll be best for you to sneak back in at night. Safest." She pulled him close to her and kissed him.

"You're right," he sweetly kissed her forehead and held her close, for just one minute longer. "I love you."

"Goodness, Gale, you're acting like we're saying goodbye."

If Katniss wasn't worried about what they were walking into, he wasn't going to be the one to worry her.

"I love you too," she told him, squeezing his hand as he let go. "Remember to tell Haymitch!" She call after him, half laughing, as he pulled away and walked off into the darkness.

* * *

It'd been about six months since Gale had snuck along the familiar path from the woods to the hole in the fence that he and Katniss so often used, but he felt like no time had passed. He kept his head low and dodged from tree to tree until the spot was visible. Gale quickly darted to the hole and held his fingers to the fence, to see if he could sense any electricity pulsing towards it, he leaned his ear in to - nothing.

He climbed through the fence and even though he wanted to go to his house first, he and Katniss had agreed on going to Haymitch first. He'd have the best information. Plus, both their families were probably fast asleep at this hour.

He didn't see any Peacekeepers patrolling, which he took to be a good sign, though he noticed the town was incredibly quiet, unnaturally quiet, and dark, as he passed through. He supposed that implied some strict curfew, which made sense.

He was extra careful as he made his way to Victors Village, which was also extremely quiet and dark. All he could hear were the distant crickets croning. Gale was lucky there were no peacekeepers around here, because there were fewer places to hide, and he had to walk out in the open to enter the village.

"Haymitch," he whispered as he slowly opened the door to his home. It was as dank and stale as always. "Haymitch," he called again, just above a whisper. "It's me, Gale…" Gale slowly crept into the house. The floorboards creaked, but that was the only sound. _Damn bastard's probably passed out,_ Gale cursed to himself as he walked through the kitchen and into the living area. He flicked on the light, expecting to see Haymitch passed out on the couch. But it was empty. "Haymitch!" he raised his voice, "Haymitch!" Gale went to the next room, threw on the light, and found nothing. And then to the next, and the next. But there was no Haymitch. He wasn't asleep in his bed, and he wasn't passed out by his toilet on the bathroom floor. Gale was beginning to get worried. Something was wrong.

He ran to the house of one of his coworkers from the mines who was highly involved in the rebellion. If something had happened to Haymitch, this man would know.

"Stutter," he called, tapping on the window, slightly out of breath, "Stutter, hey, man, it's me, Gale." He slowly pushed the back door and walked in. "I know it's late...And I know it's been a long time, but I'm back, and I need to know what's going on….Stutter?"

Gale couldn't help but notice this house too was exceptionally quiet. In the Seam, there was no electricity, so Gale searched for a candle and called out.

"Stutter?"

But he couldn't find the man. Now Gale was really getting worried.

There wasn't a light on in any of the houses he'd passed so far. No babies crying, not couples fighting, not even a dog barking. Gale'd been gone a long time, but this wasn't right. Without even thinking, he immediately ran to the house next to Stutter's and threw open the door. He expected to find an angry man in bed, or his terrified kids and wife.

But there was no one.

And there wasn't anyone in the place next to that. Or the one across the street. He ran to his mother's home, no longer trying to hide or move stealthily.

"Mom!" he threw open the front door. "Mom! It's me, Gale! Rory? Vick!?"

But there was on one. All their beds were empty.

Gale searched houses until dawn crept over the horizon, and it was only then that he saw the destruction. In the pale, gray light, walking through the main street of town, he could see the buildings tumbled over. The entire center'd been destroyed. Rocks and rubble filled the streets.

But there were no bodies.

Gale walked up and down the streets of Twelve - the Seam, the center, the market, the hob, the village. Destruction everywhere.

But no bodies.

_What the hell was going on?_

He went back to his home and looked around. He realized that his mother's and sibling's jackets were all missing. Their shoes. His grandmother's ivory comb, which was his mother's favorite possession, and Posy's stuffed pig.

That had to mean something.

He also went to Katniss's house in Victor's Village. Her hunting jacket was gone. Her mother's wedding photo….

They left. They knew they were leaving, they packed, and they left.

_But where did they go?_

Gale grabbed a few cans of food from her mother's pantry before heading back to the cabin. He didn't know how he was going to tell her this.


	18. Chapter 18

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, pushing the hair out of her face.

She stirred sleepily and muttered into the blankets. "Is that you, Gale?"

He laughed and pushed more hair from her opening eyes. They'd been alone together for almost six months, and still always asked if it was him. "Yeah, it's me." He leaned in to kiss her.

"Hey." She said as her eyes opened.

"Hey."

As she sat up, her eyes found the canned food he brought. "You brought me canned food!" she grabbed both the cans and held the to her. "You really do love me!" she leaned in and kissed him full on the mouth before examining her prize-peas and carrots and pinto beans.

"I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for this. I've been craving salt for weeks now. I even thought about eating rocks once..."

"Katniss…"

"What? I thought it might be salty..."

"Katniss, we need to talk…."

"I didn't actually eat them, Gale, jeez, I mean I licked one, but…"

"Katniss!"

She looked up from her freshly opened can as she spooned some beans to her mouth with her fingers. "What?" She could tell by his demeanour that this was serious. "Is everything okay?"

"Katniss…"

"What is it, Gale?"

"Katniss..."

"I know my name, Gale! Now tell me what's wrong!"

He couldn't stop her mind from spiraling. "Oh my god!" She clasped her hands to her face. "Is it your family or mine? Is everyone okay? Please tell me everyone's okay!"

"Katniss…" he put his hand on her leg, trying to calm her. It didn't work.

"It's Haymitch, right? Oh, please, let it be Haymitch…"

"Kat-"

"I mean, he's the one most likely to get in trouble...who'd he piss off? The Capitol or the other rebels?"

"Katniss!" He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

She gulped seriously and quieted.

"Can you calm down please?" She nodded. "Okay, Katniss." Gale didn't know how to tell her, so he just did it quick. "They're all gone."

"What do you mean?"

"There's no one there. There's no one at Twelve."

"Do you mean they're-?"

"No." He grabbed her hands and looked deep into her eyes. He knew exactly what she was thinking. "There're no bodies. Not a one. It looks like they've packed up and….left."

"What?"

"Katniss, I don't know. But they're gone. We're going to figure out what happened." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "okay?"

She nodded, though she wasn't sure she really understood.

* * *

Gale told her about the rubble, but he lead her away from it. Seeing it would just make her upset. So he led her around the long way to and her home in Victory Village. She decided to set up house while Gale scrounged around for resources.

"Hey, I'm back," he called when he returned, his bag full of canned goods he'd found. "Katniss." He walked into the kitchen, and then the living area down stairs. "Hey! Catnip?"

"I'm up here!"

He followed the sound of her voice upstairs. "Catnip?" He pushed open the bathroom door. She was taking a bubble bath. He smiled as he saw her, her face, breasts, stomach, and feet floating out of the water. "How're you doing?" he walked over and kneeled down next to her.

"Hey," she said from behind closed eyes.

"You look comfortable."

"Mmmmhmmmm. I'm clean too." She lifted one of her hands so he could see her nails. "Look."

He grabbed her hand and kissed it fondly. "I see."

"Did you find food?"

"Yeah, I got lots of stuff."

"Anything else?" her eyes were still closed.

"Nope. Not yet."

"Okay." She didn't seem concerned and swished in the tub.

"You're taking this all very well." He noted her zen-like demeanour. It was a far cry from the emotional rollercoaster he'd almost gotten used to riding with her.

"Me worrying about it's going to change a thing, is it?" she opened one eye and looked at him. The look on his face told her he didn't have an answer. "That's what I thought. So all worrying would do is ruin my bath."

Gale couldn't help himself, he laughed, shaking his head. He couldn't believe her sometimes. "I guess we wouldn't want that."

"You're damn right we wouldn't want that. I might never get out of the tub."

Gale chuckled and got up, kissing her forehead as he did. "Well, I'm going to go scrounge for more supplies."

"Wait, before you go, rub my feet?' she pulled them out of the water.

He kneeled back down by the foot of the tub and acquiesced.

"You know what?" she said, eyes closed again. He grunted to say _what? "_ That feels better than sex."

"Oh really?" he said with a laugh.

"Yes," she popped with her lips.

"I guess I wouldn't know...you never rub my feet."

"You get pregnant and I will."

Gale laughed again.

* * *

When he came back late that evening, Katniss was cooking in the kitchen.

"Hey," she called to him.

"You're out of the tub."

"Yeah," she said through her kiss on his cheek.

"I wasn't sure that was going to happen."

"I got pruney. What did you find?"

"I got some good stuff. I found more food and a few busted radios...none of them work, but I'm hoping to piece them together."

"Smart," she said as she stirred.

"Oh, and hey, I found this for you…" He pulled out a some chocolate he found and watched her eyes pop as she spun around.

"Is that…"

"Yep," he said proudly.

"You're a god!" She jumped towards him and grabbed it from him, ripping it open in one motion. she bit in and sighed blissfully. "This is so good...Do I have to share it with you?"

"It's all yours, Catnip."

"Thank you so much. This is good…" she took another bite. "But you know what it needs? Salt.' she grabbed the shaker from the counter and generously poured. "Perfect!"

He started at her strangely and shrugged. Gale unpacked the food and started setting up his radio pieces on the table until Katniss rebuked him-not in the kitchen. He was weirded out for a moment because she reminded him of his mother. He shuddered but told himself that she was just being motherly, and that was a good thing, even though he was annoyed he had to set his stuff up on the coffee table. Gale'd never been good at electronics, but he knew some and began tinkering. He was hoping that if he got it functioning, he could find other rebels. He knew what frequencies they used-he just had to get the radio working first.

"Are you hungry?" Katniss called from the kitchen. "dinner's about ready."

"do you need any help?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen. She shook her head as she set the dishes on the table. She'd made pasta.

Gale was thrown off by Katniss's cheerful mood, but he supposed it perhaps balanced out from how upset she was the first few months of her pregnancy. And he liked this mock-domesticity they were playing. He liked that it seemed to be working.

"So you think you'll be able to get the radio working?"

"Yeah," he said as he served himself, smiling at the large portion Katniss had on her plate. She was eating more now than he ever had. And he was just happy that they had the food now that she needed.

"What do you think?" she said beaming as he took his first bite. Gale nearly gasped. And then choked it was so salty.

"Umm. It's good." He coughed. "Salty…" Cough again. "Good." He took a big drink of water.

"I know. The salt's the best part, right?" She took a big bite, apparently impervious to the salt.

"Umm. Yeah…"

* * *

Katniss had decided on the walk from the cabin to Victors Village that she wasn't going to worry. The ten minutes prior to that decision, she felt like she'd swallowed a tornado. She felt feverish and sick and woosy. She saw the faces of everyone she'd ever known back and imagined the worst happening to them...Had the Capitol captured them all? Were they all slaves? Avoxes? Had they all been forced to flee? Had they gone to another district? Had the war started? Had the rebels won? Had they lost?

But Katniss realized that worrying wasn't going to help her and Gale figure any of that. Worrying would accomplish nothing, and she knew Gale would do everything he could to find their families and the rebellion. If they could find their way back to District Twelve, they could certainly find all the people from District Twelve. _Right?_

She didn't know where they were, but when Gale told her that her father's hunting jacket was gone and her mother's wedding photo, she knew in her heart that Prim had gone some place safe-some place she wanted to go. And Katniss believed that she and Gale would figure out where that someplace was.

So she decided to enjoy herself. She took bathes daily. Bathes plural. Because some days she took two. She also burned the clothes she and Gale wore all those months in the woods. She hated those clothes. the bra that no longer fit her. The pants she could no longer button up. The shirt that didn't fit over her belly anymore…

Gale came home one night and found her in the back with the bonfire blazing. She was dancing around it like she was performing some sort of pagan ritual.

"What are you doing, Catnip?" he asked cautiously, arms full of more electronics.

"I'm burning things." Her look boarded on the edge of glee and mania, and her eyes didn't leave the flames. Gale looked concerned.

"I can see that. And what exactly are you burning?"

"The things we wore in the woods." She still stared at the fire, eyes transfixed.

"Okay…" Gale backed away slowly and let her have her moment.

Katniss was also eating everything she could get her hands on. She ate canned beets and canned potatoes and canned corn. She didn't want to eat anything from the forest again, and actually refused the fresh meat and fruit Gale got from the woods. She began experimenting in the kitchen. She made pasta sauces from canned tomatoes she found and creamy soups. She even tried to make bread once, because she was also craving that, but failed. She asked Gale to go down to the bakery, but he was only able to find crackers. But they went well with her soups. She ran out of salt after the first week and also had to ask Gale to find more. He claimed to have only found a little bit, though, so he encouraged her to use it sparingly. Katniss had never remembered salt being scarce before though, so she eyed him suspiciously and insisted he could easily find more.

Gale was often in the living room cursing loudly at the radio while she did all this. He'd gathered several broken radios and transceivers and was trying to make one work. He'd never really had to use electronics much in his life, so he wasn't having much luck. Katniss tried to comfort him and help as best she could, but she was pretty useless as well.

"How's it going?" She came over and asked sweetly.

"I'm having about as much luck with this as you are with cooking."

"What's wrong with my cooking!?" she demanded, sound a little hurt.

"Nothing, sorry."

Gale was getting upset. She could tell. He tried to hide it, and he could probably fool most people. But not her. Not any more. He held himself a little tighter, like he was carrying something heavy on his back. He always seemed tense, worried. There was a shadow over him, the same one she'd sensed when he was trying to figure out the best way to get him in the woods. He looked at those radios with the same determined, desperate eyes that he did with his scratch-maps in the dirt, some combination of heartbroken and furious.

He violently threw a clump of wires across the room.

"Hey, it's okay," she said, sitting down behind him and pulling him into her arms. He stayed tense and resisted a moment, but she started messaging his shoulders and kissing his neck, and he gave in. "It's okay," she whispered near his ear.

He turned to face her and she kissed his forehead as he lie his head in her lap, or on her legs in front of her lap, to be more precise, because her pregnant belly was taking up that space.

"It's okay," she said, sweetly scratching his head, "take a break."

"Katniss…" he clenched his fists and tried not to shake them, "if I don't figure this out…"

"You will." she pulled his face to hers and kissed him. "You just need to relax."

"I don't see how relaxing will help."

"Let me show you…" she whispered mischievously and kissed him, pulling him to her.

Gale tried futilely to resist her, but he didn't even last a minute. He was soon giving into her kisses. Katniss reclined on the couch and Gale kneeled next to her, returning her passionate kisses. It was a bit tricky maneuvering around her belly. He put his hand over it and kissed it.

"How's the little guy doing?"

"She's fine," Katniss said, placing her hand on his. "She's hungry, but fine."

Gale chuckled and placed his cheek against the curve. Katniss placed her hands on his head and held him tightly. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah."

"I'm just…"

"I know. You can only worry so much, Gale."

"I know...I just…"

"It's okay," she tilted his chin up so he met her eyes. "It'll be okay."

He wanted to ask her how she knew that, but he didn't want to make her doubt herself. Or to interrupt her strange calm-nirvana she was currently settled in. It was the ultimate irony, he realized, that he'd spent so much of their times in the woods just wanting her to calm down and try to enjoy things a bit, and now, he wanted to see her a bit more upset over their current situation. They balanced each other out, he supposed.

Katniss led his face back up to hers and kissed him urgently. She kissed him until he wasn't thinking about anything but kissing her, and she could tell when he was...thinking about how to fix the radio, where he could find more supplies, maybe a book to help him figure it out….All those thoughts faded away, and once they had, Katniss kissed him until he was thinking about doing more than just kissing her, and she could tell when he was doing that as well. He was trying to get closer to her, to touch her all at once but the couch was making things a bit awkward as he could no long lay on top of her.

"Let's go upstairs," she breathed.

He nodded and helped her up. She took his hand and lead the way to their room. Gale started pulling off her clothes before they were barely in the room. For the first time in her life, Katniss prefered wearing dresses to pants, as there weren't many pants that could fit her comfortably any more, but she'd found several dresses that seemed to work. Gale pulled at the tie behind her back and helped the wrap dress open, revealing her breasts and belly. He pushed it off her shoulders and immediately began covering her with kisses. Katniss's hands ran through his hair and over his back. She stripped off his shirt and undid his pants, and he happily helped her push them off. They were not both standing naked before the bed, all over each other. Gale slowly guided Katniss backwards until she hit the bed, and he helped her sit down. He knelt before her and kissed her legs, each little kiss causing her skin to ripple with pleasure. As he slowly moved up her legs, he realized that she was already incredibly wet and ready for him. He stood up about to position himself to enter when Katniss pulled him towards her, lacing his chest with kisses and letting her hands roam his body. She rubbed them over his back and across his chest and down to his butt, because she liked to squeeze and feel the strong muscle beneath and because it always made him involuntarily shudder. She pushed him even closer towards her and Gale's hands found her shoulders to steady himself as he lost himself for a moment. One of her hands slid up his front and found his stiffening dick which she began to work in her hand before taking it in her mouth. Gale wasn't expecting her to do this. He forgot time and space for the moment as he felt the wonderful warmth of her mouth and the amazing sensation of her tongue. Gale held Katniss and she took him in and out.

"God….oh my god...Katniss," he moaned.

She smiled knowing what pleasure she was giving him. Or at least she would have smiled had her lips not otherwise been occupied.

Just when Gale was about to come, Katniss stopped. She looked up at him almost cruelly as he tried to recover himself. "My turn," was all she said. She flicked his stiff member playfully and scooted back a bit and reclined on the bed.

Gale gave her a wicked smile. "You're such a tease," he told her as he leaned over her and kissed her chest. She gave him an innocent _who, me?_ look as he gently moved one of her legs up and found her wet entrance and pushed in.

She gasped in a sudden moan and began to move with him, her legs hooked around his as he stood on the floor and bent over her. His thrusts were deep and powerful but gentle at the same time. Katniss wanted to cling to him to keep herself together, but with her belly in the way, she just wrapped her legs tight to him and interlocked her fingers in his as her hips bucked with his.

She cried out his name as her muscles rippled in pleasure, and it wasn't much longer until he was equally spent. He collapsed on the bed beside her. She rolled over, gently took his face in her hands, and pulled him into a kiss that neither of them could remember ending.


	19. Chapter 19

Gale awoke early the next morning and he could see the gray light spilling in their room. Katniss was sound asleep next to him, curled slightly on her side with one hand draped across her belly. Gale scooted closer to her and kissed her shoulder, half hoping she'd wake so he could kiss her more, but she didn't. He lovingly tucked her hair behind her ear and tried to memorize her peaceful face before kissing her again sweetly on the cheek. He slid one hand softly down to her stomach and let his thumb trace small circles across her skin, seeing if he could get the baby's attention. He hadn't felt the little one kick yet, though Katniss had told him she thought he was starting to move...she...he corrected himself, though he was honestly wondered how accurate Katniss's intuition was. He pressed his index finger firmly, perhaps hoping to get some sort of little high five from his child inside. He didn't take it to heart that he felt nothing. He'd have to give the little guy a bit longer. He planted a quick kiss on her stomach and go up to dress.

Gale was determined to make the radio work and he couldn't help but feel inadequate not doing so. He'd found seven communicative devices, all in various states of ruin and disrepair, and today, he was hoping to find something better. Fixing the radio seemed to be their only chance at finding their families. And as much as Gale wanted to forget about that and play house with Katniss and enjoy the comforts of their life now, he knew he'd never be able to forgive himself for indulging in those comforts if it prolonged his family's suffering.

Gale'd started his search for supplies in the nicer houses close to town. They were the ones most likely to have electronics, but they were also the ones with the most destruction. Today, he was pushing into the Seam, and he planned on stopping by the houses where he knew the people might have had a radio hidden, like Stutter's or Roy McGillert's, a strange man people called the collector.

Gale found nothing in Stutter's house and wandered towards McGillert's, trying to remember who lived in the houses he passed and if there was a chance they'd have anything useful. He poked in a few at random, just to see, but the small shacks were so sad and hollow and empty. Some were in such bad state, he thought seeing people in them would only make them look sadder. He didn't know how people ever lived there. Threadbare blankets and broken furniture-this was no way to live.

He was smacked in the face with a sick stench as he opened the next door, and the answer of its source hit Gale just as suddenly. On a small pile of blankets in the corner of the one room shack, the small figure of a child lay, curled like it was asleep. Only it wasn't sleeping. The hair still looked soft and fresh, but the skin was sallowed and decayed. Finger bones were popping out of the clenched fist curled up by the face and a few teeth were exposed not through open lips but rotting flesh on the face like a deranged smile. Gale flung himself out of the room before he threw up.

Had that child died before everyone left? Had he been forgotten? Left behind?

All these thoughts made Gale's sick and angry. He tried to keep his mind from raging as he marched over to McGillert's, but the only thing that he could think of to calm him was that things couldn't get much worse than the lives people in Twelve were already living. So where ever they were now, the odds were that things would be better.

But then again, the odds had hardly ever been in their favor.

Gale cursed the Capitol as he sifted through McGillert's junk. The man was a hoarder of most things useless, though he was able to scrape a few things together to sell. Gale found lots of rusted metal, but hardly anything useful in his yard. It gave Gale a strange pleasure to plow through McGillert's stuff. He man was a recluse and a menace. He kept a pack of rabid dogs to keep people off his land, they'd gone after Rory once, and he often stole, not that anyone could ever prove it. In his yard, Gale found a tangled spool of twisted barb, a pile what would have once passed for wheels, and several batteries, all rusted and busted beyond any hope of use. Inside, he found mounds of broken dishes, and stacks of musty magazines, the pages of most were filled with the images of nude woman. Gale tossed them aside in disgust. On a table he found what appeared to be some sort of engine McGillert had been attempting to repair, but from the looks of it, he'd made little progress. Gale also round a small pile of children's toys. He picked a few up to examine, he could see they were all broken-a dolly missing an eye, a wooden train with no wheels…. It disgusted him for some reason-he didn't know why. In anger, he threw the wooden train out the open window and heard it clink against something hard outside. He spun around and cursed.

Gale tossed through the house a bit more, still finding nothing useful. The house was just full of garbage. He kicked the door violently as he stormed out, cursing just about everything he could think of, but mostly himself because he didn't know what to do next.

He knocked over a stack of barrels outside the door, kicking them mostly for fun and enjoying the sound of destruction they made as they rolled across McGillert's useless property and knocking into all his useless junk. Gale heard the barrels knock into the wooden fence and crash into something metal. He heard some sort of liquid slosh around in one of them as it kept tumbling down, and from another, he heard the sound of breaking glass. But then he heard a sound he couldn't quite place. He tried to imagine what it was as he walked away-mechanical, almost robotic, almost burning.

It was already too late by the time Gale turned around. He saw the hovercraft just above him.

* * *

Thoughts hadn't even formed in his brain when he ran quickly down the alleys of the Seam, tearing through houses to try to lose the hovercraft. He pushed through doors and jumped out windows, desperately scrambling to stay out of sight and put as much distance between him and the ship.

After a few minutes of running, Gale hazarded a peek. He slipped out one of the shacks, trying to keep his body flat against the outside wall, and craned his neck to look around. His brain was a fury of curse words, his body alight with the fire, he had to take deep breaths to calm himself and come up with a plan of action.

He couldn't see the hovercraft from where he was, and he hoped that meant he'd lost them. Though he panicked when he realized that losing them might not be enough...he needed not only to lose them, but to make sure they didn't go towards Katniss. His heart nearly exploded when he thought of that, but he told himself Katniss was probably still asleep...she'd probably still be asleep for another hour or so, and as long as she stayed inside, which she would, she'd eat and bathe and eat some more and she'd be fine...At least for a little while...At least until he could get back to her….

Gale just had to figure out how to get back to her without the peacekeepers knowing. He was deciding where to run when he heard footsteps.

Shit! he thought, ducking back inside. His heart hammered as he heard them walk by. Two it sounded like. Maybe three. Shit! Shit! Shit! He didn't know what to do. He could stay hiding in the house, but if they were on the ground looking for him, they probably wouldn't stop until they found him. He could make it out to the woods without them catching him, that he knew, but he couldn't leave Katniss...and she didn't know they were here. If she left the house, they'd find her. And she might leave, eventually...hadn't she told him she took a stroll the other day? Where did she say she went? Why hadn't he listened better! He'd been so focused on fixing the radio….He cursed himself and then realized they might even find her if she stayed in the house. He imagined them storming in while she soaked in the tub, totally defenseless. He cursed himself some more. He frantically ran his hands through his hair, desperate, terrified, as he spun around, chin in hand, hoping he'd figure out what to do.

The peacekeepers knew he was there and they'd keep searching until they found him. And the longer he waited, the greater the chance they'd find her. Gale took deep breaths and tried to calm his thoughts. How was he going to prevent the peacekeepers from finding Katniss? The testosterone coursing through his veins told him to fight. I can take the three of them, he thought smugly. He'd have to take them by surprise and find a weapon, but he could do it. He'd have to do it... But what if there weren't only the three peacekeepers? And what about the hovercraft? The testosterone settled and he realized he couldn't think like an invincible teenager right now...Not when Katniss was at stake...not with their baby…

Okay, then, Gale, what do you do? He knew he needed to make a decision quick. Every second he deliberated, he was giving them more time to find her. Did he...did he let them capture him? They didn't know she was here. He could tell them he was on his own and they'd leave after that...and Katniss would be safe...alone...but safe.

Until she came searching for me, he quickly realized. Surrendering himself would do no good. Katniss would be terrified and she go looking for him. And who knew what kind of trouble she'd get herself into doing that...He couldn't but smile as he thought of her brandishing a weapon, pregnant, and determined to save him. Not that wanted Katniss to save him, or to carry a weapon while pregnant, but he knew she'd try to. And that's what he loved about her so much.

He had to get back to Katniss...that was the only option really...he had to get back to her and they had to hide...in the woods...they'd have to wait out the peacekeepers...But how was he going to get to Katniss?...Gale could make it to the woods from where he was now, he could outrun the Peacekeepers and hide in the woods, that wouldn't be a problem...but how could he make it to Victors Village?...there was a lot of open space between here and there….a lot of open space...and if the hovercraft saw him...when the hovercraft saw him….he'd have to go through the woods...the long way around...that'd take him more than an hour, maybe even two...Katniss would definitely be awake in two hours' time...it'd be hard getting back into the district by her house...he'd have to jump the fence, and that'd be when he was most visible...but if he they weren't looking for him…

He heard more footsteps and dropped to the floor. He tried to catch a glance at the Peacekeepers walking by, but couldn't make any out. From the sound of it though, it only sounded like two or three walking by.

Were they the same ones as before? he wondered. Or were there more? If there were more, they'd could cover more ground...more quickly. He gulped. He had to get to Katniss before they did.

Gale looked around the room for any sort of weapon, but there was hardly anything of use. He also needed something heavy to throw, to misdirect the Peacekeepers….He hoped they'd have a fire pit with a poker, something he could use as a bat, but no luck. There weren't even chairs he could break...Damn it...He was getting desperate. He instead looked for something heavy to throw. There were a few rinky plates, but they wouldn't work, some sheets...He'd just have to find a rock.

Gale cautiously exited the building. His ears pulsed, searching for sounds. He didn't hear any footsteps. He hoped that meant the Peacekeepers weren't close. He grabbed the first sizeable rock he saw on the ground and launched it. He had a strong arm. It arched high in the air and landed loudly in the distance. That's when he heard some heavy footsteps and alerted voices. They were all rushing away. He sighed a deep breath of relief and started towards the hole in the fence, careful to keep himself low and in the shadows.

He made it quickly and carefully down the streets of the Seam. There were no signs of peacekeepers. He hoped that meant there were only a few of them around and that they'd all gone in the direction of the rock. Gale was almost at the hole in the fence now. Once he got threw it, he could run quickly back to Katniss.

He peeked around the corner. The coast was clear. He ran to the last building before the fence and pressed himself tightly against it. Okay, he thought, time to run. He'd have to be fast and quiet. The distance between where he was now and the fence was the greatest, but it really wasn't that far. He could make it in a few seconds. He just had to make sure no one saw him. He took a deep breath, and ran.

He was almost to the fence when they saw him. He didn't even have time to think where they'd come from.

"Hey stop!"

Gale didn't listen. He kept running. He was almost through the fence when one grabbed him.

"I said stop! Who are you? What are you doing here?"

Gale didn't answer. He grabbed for the guy's gun and swung it at him. This man was young, unprepared. He went down with one blow. The second man barked something that Gale didn't hear as he swung the weapon at him. This man was better trained. He dodge Gale's blow and knocked the weapon from his hands. The man then grabbed his Gale to restrain him, still speaking, not that Gale heard a word he said. His mind was on the fight. He watched the man position himself and deflected hif first blow easily. This man knew what his was doing, but Gale was bigger. And more determined. There was no way he was letting this man take him. He knocked the man hard in the face.

But he never got to see him fall. Gale crumpled to the ground before he did, back blazing with fire as the sound of a shot barely registering in his ears.

* * *

When Katniss stirred the sun was already high in the sky. She stretched lazily across the bed and fondly remembered her and Gale's activities from the night before. She spread her hands out across the sheets as if grasping the memories to come back to her so she could wrap herself up in them. She shuddered as she remembered Gale's lips crossing her skin, each of his kisses planting a burst of sensations, sizzling with pleasure and the mere memory enough to making her nerves dance. She was about to ask him to touch her more, ready to fall deeper into moment when she realized she couldn't-Gale was gone.

_He better come back soon,_ she thought grumpily as she rocked herself out of bed, back slightly aching.

She wished Gale were there to give her a back rub. Her rumbling stomach - _was she hungry? or was that just the baby? -_ finally pushed her out of bed. She didn't bother putting on clothes as she hopped down the stairs and and grabbed a can of sausages from the counter and headed back upstairs to take a bath and hopefully ease her aching back. As she filled the tub with warm sudsy water, she popped open the can and fished out her breakfast. She used to refuse to eat canned meats. She thought it was the most absurd thing in the world - to pay for meat when she could catch it for free. Also, she thought it tasted gross. But now she delighted in its straight, salty goodness. She had no idea what type of meat it was, but she didn't care and ate another link. She stopped to study herself in the mirror before she sunk in the tub.

She couldn't believe how big she'd gotten. Some mornings she spent long moments in front of the mirror when Gale was away, trying to come to terms with her body. Her stomach still wasn't overly large yet, but she was uncomfortably large and getting bigger. At somewhere between four and five months pregnant, her baby was the size of an eggplant, at least, that's what she read in one of her mother's books. That somehow seemed impossibly large as she looked at her stomach in the mirror and impossibly small as she imagined holding a child that size.

She'd been reading as much as she could from her mother's books, though she hadn't found too much helpful. Lists of teas to drink, herbs to cure the heartburn, suggestions for easing back pain and nausea. She noticed her skin was showing signs of growing as she rubbed her hands across it. She had stretch marks, faint, but visible, and a dark line forming below her belly button. She hadn't noticed this until she'd seen herself in the mirror. She didn't know if she should worry and found nothing about it in her mother's books, so she just ignored it. She undid her hair and let it fall across her chest, covering her breasts, which were large, hard and uncomfortable. She constantly had to tell Gale to be careful with them. He'd always apologize, but say explain how he just couldn't help himself. As she held them in her hands, she didn't understand what the appeal was. _God,_ she thought to herself, _I just hope they don't get any bigger._

She leaned close to the mirror, focusing on on her face. With the rest of her body out of view, did she still look the same as she did before? She stared at herself for several seconds, not certain what she was looking for. The sound of rising water finally brought her back to the present, and she went over to the tub and turned of the tab as she sunk in.

She loved the feeling of the warm water around her, it was soothing, comforting, secure. She wondered if this was how her baby felt in her womb, also surrounded by so much warm liquid, and thought of her baths as a mother-daughter bonding experience. She slurped another sausage link and she let one of her hands hold her stomach. Sometimes, she could hardly bare to think about _being a mother._ But the swelling of her stomach told her she could no longer ignore the inevitable for too much longer. When it worried her, she reminded herself how good Gale was with children, and was happy she had him with her. _I don't know how I'd do this without, Gale,_ she thought to herself as she hummed in the tub, eating her salty breakfast and trying to imagine their child being real in the world.

Sometimes, when she'd scrunch her eyes, and simultaneously force herself to think and empty her mind, she'd get images-Gale smiling, a green meadow, the sound of a child's laughter. She tried to make herself find the source of said laughter, but the best she ever got of a fleeting moment, a flash of small limbs, a glimpse of face, the feeling of happiness.

Once the water started to feel cool, Katniss realized it was probably time to get out of the tub. She grunted as she hoisted herself out of the tub and grabbed a towel to dry herself off. She wasn't really sure what she was going to do that day, and she had to admit, she was getting a bit antsy. Wrapping herself in a robe, she went to the kitchen to see what the pantry held to figure out what she wanted to cook. She scrunched her nose and she looked over their meager supplies. They had an abundance of canned food, most carrots, for some reason Katniss couldn't explain. They had two bags of beans and there was a bag of flour and sugar, and too little salt, she thought as she looked over the small sack of it Gale brought back the day before. Gale hadn't yet found any chickens or livestock around the District as he scrounged, and why Katniss would have desperately loved some fresh eggs, this was another sign that gave her hope that the people of Twelve were still alive... _the must have taken all those animals with them to use, right?_

Katniss frowned and looked down at her stomach, "what do you want, little one?" she asked with her fingers tapping, now craving eggs even more desperately since she'd thought of them. Eggs led her to thinking of breakfast, and now she wished she had fresh bread and jam, but alas, she had neither. Suddenly, she thought: _pancakes._ Yes, she thought, that would do nicely, and she could probably make it with the flour and sugar. Katniss pulled the ingredients out and flipped open her mother's cookbook, trying to find a recipe. She didn't have everything, but she hoped she could make it work.

Katniss sang to herself softly as she mixed the ingredients she had in a bowl, hoping water would do for milk and oil for butter. She dipped a spoon into the syrup she found in her mother's cabinet, delighting in the thick, sweet taste as she poured the first batch in the pan on the stove.

It was well into the afternoon, and Katniss hoped Gale would be getting home soon. She imagined him coming in and hugging her from behind, which was her new favorite hug, pressing his lips close to her ear and kissing her sweetly as he let his hand rise up and cradle her belly. She found herself smiling at the thought, and shook her head, hardly believing how _soft_ she'd become. _This isn't how you lead a rebellion,_ she chided herself. _But it wasn't such a bad way to make breakfast for lunch._

Gale still wasn't home when the first batch of pancakes was finished. She ate three, and put the rest of the batter in the fridge to save until he made it home. She then settled herself on the couch and opened one of her mother's books to read more about pregnancy. She read everything about the second trimester, and noticed the light dimming as the evening set in. _Where could Gale be?_ She thought to herself as she got up and looked out the window. She hoped this meant that he'd found something good and reminded herself that he was digging through the Seam today, which was farther and contained a lot of houses. _I do hope this means he's finding things,_ she thought to herself, knowing it would make him feel better. She worried about all the pressure he put on himself, and she see that becoming a problem as it came closer to the baby's birth.

Those troubled thoughts crinkled her brow, and she had to shake them from her mind, reminding herself of her new philosophy-not to worry too much and to try and enjoy things. In that spirit, she decided to take a stroll and get some fresh air before it got too dark. She grabbed her father's hunting jacket, which she was so happy to have back, and walked out.

Katniss had made it almost to the gates of Victors Village when she heard the sound. She froze, sensing the noise, her mind frantically trying to place it, but she knew that sound too well. _A hovercraftt._ She ran to hide in the shade of a tree as soon as she saw it rise. It was far away from her, coming up from somewhere in the middle of the town, and even though she was certain it couldn't have spotted her, she stayed still until she knew it was gone, watching it disappear into the distance.

As soon as it was out of sight, she ran (at least, as best she could) straight back to her house. She threw the door shut and quickly turned off all the lights, trying to show no sign of being there. She cursed herself for being so careless and ran into Prim's bedroom, a room she'd completely avoided up until now. She curled up on the bed and grabbed one of the pillows, clinging on to it for dear life.

_Don't panic, don't panic,_ she told herself, at a complete loss with what to do. _Everything is okay. Gale's fine. He's the best hunter I know, and knows how to hide. Everything's fine. And once the coast is clear, he'll come back to me. And everything will be fine._ She repeated this to herself again and again, face pressed into the pillow.

After minutes of doing this, she felt her body begin to calm, and pulled herself up from the pillow. That's when she saw it: one golden hair, a trace of Prim left behind, and she lost it.

Katniss had to press her face back into the pillow to stop herself from screaming. She sobbed into it desperately, every bad thought she'd been avoiding for the past week, ever worry about Prim, doubt about the people's safety, the state of the rebellion, all assaulting her, reminding her that nothing was okay and probably ever would be. _Until Gale gets back_ , she told herself, and she told herself this again and again until her heart unclenched, until she remembered how to breath, until she could make herself move _, until Gale gets back, until Gale gets back, until Gale gets back…_.

Only it was dark out now, and Gale still wasn't back. _He had to wait for cover of dark to make his way back, of course,_ she told herself, _he might need another hour to make it back here carefully, if he was deep in the Seam._ But that hour passed, and there was still no Gale. She held the pillow close to her, trembling, _he's just being careful, taking his time..._ but another hour passed, and Katniss couldn't stop her thoughts from turning, _what if he's been injured? should I go look for him?  
_ She was about to grab a weapon and head out when she realized, there was no way Gale would have been injured. If the Peacekeepers had injured him, they would have tracked him until they either captured him, or killed him. She honestly didn't know which of those was worse.

She held on to the only piece of hope she had: _Gale saw the peacekeepers and had to go in the woods to hide. He's there, waiting for me, and I need to go to him before he tries to come to me._

She quickly packed a bag of supplies, throwing all the cans of food she could carry and any other necessary items she could fit in, grabbed her bow, threw on her father's jacket and headed out the door _to find Gale,_ she told herself again and again, _to find Gale, to find Gale...Gale...Gale._


	20. Chapter 20

"Rise and shine, pretty boy, you feel like cooperating with us today?" a voice snickered.

Gale grunted and realized he was lying on his face, flat in a cool, dark cell. He tried to move and his body protested, weak and wounded. He blinked his eyes and tried to remember what was going on. He remembered: searching the houses in the Seam, seeing the hovercraft in the sky, running from the peacekeepers, fighting the peacekeepers...and Katniss. Pregnant, alone...or maybe worse, maybe they had her here.

"Katniss!" he tried to scream, though he tongue was thick and heavy and his mouth felt full of sand.

"What'd he just say?"

"Cat piss, he keeps mumbling about cat piss…"

"Why?"

"How the hell should I know?! Maybe it's his name. Is that your name, pretty boy? Cat Piss?"

Gale could hardly register the guards' voices as he tried to make himself move, but his body protested in pain. "Katniss," her image burned in his eyes.

"Yeah, Cat Piss, you know you took down three of my men and messed one of them up pretty good…"

Gale wasn't listening to the man, but focusing on Katniss's image until it brought him enough energy to move.

"You knocked out three of his teeth…"

_Katniss_ , the thought, _Katniss,_ he said, "Katniss," he screamed finally making himself jump up. "Where is she?" He lunged up and reached through the bars of his cell and falling back down just as quickly, his side splitting with pain. He moaned and started losing consciousness.

"if he does that again, zap him. He'll eventually be ready to talk to us."

* * *

"You know him?"

"Yeah, I know him," the second voice said with a heavy sigh.

Gale couldn't see, but he registered the voices and then the pain as he tried to move.

"He's with us."

"Are you sure, sir? He took out two of our men on the ground, and then one more on the craft."

The voice laughed. "Well, we need good fighters, right? He could probably teach your men a thing or two."

"Sir, I think he's dangerous."

"You bet he is, but he's the kind of dangerous we need."

Gale heard the footsteps get closer and he tried to open his eyes.

"Trust me boys, this one's on our side."

A white light shone on him.

"Well, if it's Gale Hawthorne. How nice of you to come back to us."

Gale blinked and blinked again until his eyes adjusted to the light and he made out a face. And not just any face, but one he recognized. "Hay...Haymitch?"

He thought he could hear Haymitch cackling as he passed out again.

* * *

When Gale awoke again, he was no longer in a dark, slimy cell, but in a white, bright hospital room. As he slowly came to, he heard the faint beeping of machines in the background and the sounds of footsteps. As he opened his eyes, he saw what he assumed was a nurse tending to him.

"I think he's awake, sir," the woman said softly.

"Is he now?" A chair scraped closer to him and Haymitch's face came into view. Gale had to blink several times before he believed it. "Cat piss," he laughed heartily, "that's what they thought you were saying, Cat piss…" he laughed again, "It's a damn good nickname for her, I'm a bit embarrassed I didn't think of it."

Gale struggled to process all his thoughts...Where was he? Why was Haymitch here? Was this the Capitol? Had Haymitch switched sides? And where was Katniss!?

"Haymitch," he finally choked out.

"Ah, there's your voice,."

"Where are we? Is this the Capitol?"

"I'd be drunk if we were in the Capitol." Haymitch said reaching, out to the bed and leaning closer. "Now tell me, boy," Haymitch said with a graver tone, "how's our girl?"

"She's," Gale struggled to speak, his throat felt thick and tangled, "she's okay, I think...you guys didn't take her?"

"Nope."

"Then she's back at Twelve. At least, she was before you got me." Gale suddenly realized, body and mind becoming more alert, "and who are you, anyway?" His tone assertive and clear.

Haymitch laughed. "I suppose what you really mean is where are we? Welcome to Thirteen, Gale Hawthorne, the new headquarters of the rebellion."

Gale opened his mouth to speak, but there were too many colliding questions to sort into words.

"I know you have a lot of questions, and I'll answer them all, I swear," Haymitch paused to consider how many questions Gale probably had, "or, I'll answer a few of them, at least three, if I can find the time...but before we get to all that, I know there are people here who want to see you." Gale's question was in his eyes. "Well, your family, for starters, and Katniss's too, her sister just might be more excited to see you than her...I think you have a young admirer." Haymitch winked and laughed again, getting up to leave. "I'll go send for them now and arrange for a team to pick up Katniss."

"Haymitch, Haymitch wait."

Gale must have had an imploring tone, because Haymitch turned around, curious.

"There's something you need to know." Gale took a deep breath, wishing he had more time and a better mind to phrase this.

"Yes…?"

Gale felt like he'd swallowed his tongue.

"Don't worry, kid, there isn't much you could say that'd surprise me."

Gale tried to scrounge up some courage and strength and the fact that he was currently injured and in immobile in a hospital gown wasn't helping him find any. But he reminded himself that he was a man, and that men do what needs to be done. "Katniss is pregnant."

He said it so quickly the words almost flew past Haymitch before he could catch them. "Come again?"

A bit slower this time, and, Gale hoped, a bit more confidently. "Katniss is pregnant."

A long pause. An uncomfortable pause. And almost damning pause. "Damn, kid, I'll give you credit. I sure wasn't expecting that," he laughed. "And it's yours, no doubt?"

Gale felt like he was confessing to a crime. "Yes."

"I thought you were smarter than that," he shook his head and Gale felt ashamed. "She's really pregnant, hunh?" Haymitch scratched himself and Gale only nodded, "You two picked a fine time to start a family." Another long pause, and Gale braced himself for some humiliation. "And I don't suppose her condition's done anything to brighten her personality?" Gale didn't know how to respond to that. "Well, I'll go tell Cinna we're going to need a bigger Mockingjay suit…" Haymitch turned to walk away, muttering to himself, "pregnant, and with a real baby…"

Gale wasn't sure what to make of Haymitch's reaction, or the fact that he was in Thirteen, and his family came bursting in before he could make sense of it all.

"Gale!" Posy screamed as she threw herself on top of him.

"Oh my god, dear, be careful," his mother added, worriedly.

"It's okay, mom," he said, scooting himself up in his bed to make room for his sister and trying to hide his pain. "Are Vick and Rory okay?" He asked, suddenly alarmed that they didn't enter.

"Oh, yes dear, they're fine, they're just working."

"Working?"

"Yes, Thirteen needs all the help they can get, after taking us in."

Gale nodded, supposing that made sense as his mother came over to him.

"I have so much to tell you!" Posy gushed as she squirmed beside him. Gale smiled at her.

"Oh yeah?" he said brightly, "I want to hear all about it. As he focused on his sister, he heard his mother sit next to him and felt her fingers brush through his hair.

"Gale…" She began, but he didn't look at her. He had that far away look in his eyes when he was struggling to figure something out, something that he didn't want to admit was hard for him to do. Hazelle had first noticed it after his father died, when she watched her son struggle to swallow his anger and pain and take over the role of providing for the family. She'd noticed it again when Katniss went off to the Games and he suddenly found himself doing twice the amount of work with her gone. But it wasn't the extra work that he struggled with, it was her absence. And Katniss's coming back didn't make it any better. Gale had that look on more than ever when Katniss came back, and the problem he faced then wasn't how to get something done, but how to figure out how to be...with her again, or if that was even possible.

"We were so worried about you," Hazelle said. She didn't know what was bothering him know, and she didn't know if he'd tell her, but she wanted to make him feel better.

"Sorry," he said almost dismissively, not of her, but of the situation.

"Gale," he was tickling Posy. "Honey," Hazelle's hand went to his chin, "look at me," she forced his face over to her. "What's wrong?"

Ever since his father had died, Hazelle had watched her oldest son become stronger, become a man in many rights and ways before he should have been. He worked hard and sacrificed and took care of the family. Sometimes she felt bad about how much responsibility she let him shoulder, but she honestly needed the help, and he honestly seemed to be able to handle it. It was only when he couldn't handle it, that she worried. Because he never asked for help, and just got that far away look in his eye, the same on he had now, as if he was searching the world for an answer.

"Gale," she said more commandingly, "what is it?"

Gale brought his eyes to her, though he didn't exactly meet them, "Everything's fine mom, I want to hear all about Thirteen. How did you get here? What exactly happened?"

Hazelle knew he was looking for a distraction. He son was able to hide his pain from most people, probably even Katniss, but not her. Something was worrying him. Something hurt.

"Posy, dear," she said, grabbing she squirming youngest, "why don't you go ask one of the nice nurses if we can have some food. I'm sure your brother's hungry."

Posy's face lit up and she happily agreed, almost tumbling over herself as she shot out the door.

"Talk to me, Gale," Hazelle said now that they had the room to themselves, she took her son's hands.

"What do you want to know, mom?"

"I want to know what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me, mom, jeez," he scooted up in his bed, as if asserting himself somehow.

"Don't lie to me, boy." Hazelle was still the head of her family, Gale sometimes forgot that, but she could always remind him.

_Boy._ That word rankled. Haymitch had called him that too. He hated it. He wasn't a boy, but a man, a man about to be a father, and while the woman carrying his child, the woman he loved, was...he didn't even know what she was doing... _crying? scared? alone? hiding?_ And he was being fed jello in a hospital gown.

Hazelle could see the anger flicker in her son's eyes. And she knew it was the worst kind-he was angry with himself. She reached out and tried to comfort him, "just tell me son, it's okay."

Gale struggled to look at his mother. Ever since his father had died, he worked to hide all his pain from her, all his weakness. He watched her work so hard, the weight of his father's death on her heart, the weight of her unborn baby in her belly, the weight of supporting the family now on her back, somehow, she always managed. If she could, he knew he could too. Gale picked up as much of it as he could. His mother had never disappointed him, and he promised himself he'd never disappoint her. Right now, he felt he had.

. . .

When he was about fourteen, she took him aside one evening, after the youngest were all tucked away and he was helping her clean the dishes. She thanked him for helping her with the work, with all the work, not just the dishes. Gale shrugged it off, not understanding, of course he would help. _Why wouldn't he help?_ "Gale, honey, I'm saying this because it makes you a man."

He gulped. He never really thought about being a man before, but he always tried to do what was right. He realized he liked hearing his mother say this.

"As far as I'm concerned, you've been a man ever since your father died. The way you stepped up…" her voice cracked for a second and she had to wipe a tear from her eye.

Gale shifted uncomfortably, he didn't know how to make this better. Hazelle knew that was what he was thinking- _of course that was what he was thinking_ -and she wiped away her own tears before he could.

"I'm telling you this, Gale, because other people are going to start seeing you as a man too soon, you're already so tall," she looked him down, "so handsome, and you're going to start noticing some girls as women."

Gale gulped almost audibly this time. Maybe he didn't like hearing his mother say this.

"Gale, honey, you're not a child…"

"Mom," he tried to deflect her.

"You're good looking, you're strong, you're tall, a lot of girls are going to like you…"

"Mom, please..."

"And you're going to like a lot of girls, and I know you'll be tempted…"

"Mom, I promise, I'm not having sex." He wanted to stop this conversation before it even started.

"Of course you're not having sex!" She threw down her dish towel, as if that settled the matter. "You're barely fourteen. You better not be having sex!"

"I'm not!"

"But you're going to start thinking about it."

He couldn't tell her he wasn't doing that. Hazelle noticed her son's silence.

She grabbed his chin and tilted it up to her. (This was the last year Hazelle was able to do that, the last year he was shorter than her.) "I know you don't want to hear this from me, but you need to hear it…"

"Mom," he tried to deflect her again, feeling his cheeks burning.

"Gale, I was barely sixteen when I had you. You're father was only a few months older than me. He had to drop out of school and go work in the mines. If your father'd been able to stay in school, he was brilliant, just like you, he could have been a manager or engineer or something, but he never qualified for jobs like that, so he had to keep mining…" Hazelle choked up again, she didn't say it, she didn't want Gale to ever think it, to blame himself. She certainly didn't blame him, his father didn't either, but she did blame herself. "I'm only telling you this, because I want you to understand, I know what's it like to be young, to be in love, but I also want you to know there are consequences, and life here is already hard enough as it is."

Gale met his mother's eyes. "I know, mom."

"Moments can change things, more than you know."

"I understand."

"And I see how some of the girls at school look at you."

"I don't like any of the girls at school, mom."

"I know, dear. But you like Katniss."

Gale wanted to refute that, but he couldn't. Hazelle noticed his silence then too, and smiled as she picked up the dish towel.

"All I'm saying is, be careful."

"I will mom. I promise."

. . .

Gale hadn't been careful. How was he going to explain this to his mother?

"Gale?" His mom's voice spoke to him from the present this time.

"Sorry, mom," he shook his head and refocused himself.

"It's Katniss, isn't it?"

He adverted his eyes, and then cursed himself for doing so. Why was this so hard for him? He wasn't a child anymore. He should just tell her...

Hazelle took a deep breath. It was the breath that said, "that girl…" Gale knew it well by now. Hazelle had sighed that breath a lot over the past two years. She never had anything against Katniss, per se, but she also never quite understood her son's fascination with her. And after everything that happened in the Games...if that girl had hurt him again, after everything he'd done for her...How many times had she found his bed empty either because too much work kept him out of bed or too much worry...

"Katniss is pregnant, mom."

With four children, Hazelle had learned the secret to good parenting was never letting her kids surprise her. As long as she could always stay one step ahead of them, she could stay in control. And she'd managed to do this for pretty successfully for almost twenty years.

Suffice it to say, Gale had just surprised her.

"What?"

"Katniss is having a baby."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must have been on you. Out there taking care of her all these months...I'd been hoping that would have given you and her the time to, oh, I don't know, figure things out and make up, but, if she was carrying Peeta's baby the whole time…"

"What?" Gale almost laughed as he said it. "Oh, god, mom, no. No. It's not Peeta's baby. It's mine."

"What?" That word again, and again, a different tone.

"Yeah," Gale had suddenly found his confidence. "Look, it just happened, we were out in the woods together…"

"Things like that don't just happen, Gale!"

"Mom…they sometimes do..."

"Then tell me how, Gale! How?!"

_Was she serious? "_ I'm not sure how you want me to respond to that.." She looked like she wanted to kill him.

"We thought the Capitol had taken you! I've been worried sick for the past six months, thinking the Capitol was torturing you, or worse, and it turns out you spent the whole time cavorting in the forest!"

"It wasn't the whole time, mom, and I don't know if cavorting is the right word..."

"What word would you use then!?"

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond to that, either. He didn't really want to use any of the words he was thinking in front of his mother.

"Look, mom, I'm sorry. We got lost…"

"You expect me to believe you got lost? _You and Katniss_ …"

Gale suddenly understood why his mother was so upset, she thought he'd left her, abandoned her without so much as a word goodbye to anyone he loved to have fun with Katniss in the forest.

"Gale Linden Hawthorne!" She'd interpreted his silence as some sort of insult or disrespect.

Gale hated his middle name. And more, he hated his mother using it.

"Good god, woman, would you calm down."

Hazelle hated it when Gale called her woman.

"No, Gale, I won't calm down. I thought you were dead, or worse, being tortured…"

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you were suffering, Gale!"

"I was suffering some, if it makes you feel better."

He always did this when she was upset: he would try to make her laugh. She both loved him and hated him for it.

"You know Katniss, she isn't exactly the queen of sunshine on a normal day, so can you imagine her mood with morning sickness…"

Hazelle was not going to laugh. But when she looked at him, his smile was pulling one out of her.

"And she's been having these salt cravings recently, let me tell you, I think eating her cooking does count as torture…"

"Stop it, Gale," Hazelle said, struggling to stifle a laugh.

His eyes darted up to hers furtively, mischievously. "If you say so...grandma."

She hit him playfully and finally lost it. They were both laughing now.


	21. Chapter 21

Gale was told later that afternoon that he'd been cleared to discharge. He was so excited he yanked the IV from his arm, frightening the nurse, and tearing a wound in his arm that required stitches. Unfortunately, since he'd already been discharged, he had to go to the waiting area to be readmitted. "Are you serious?" he almost screamed at the nurse. She was less frightened by him this time, and sternly pointed the way to the admission area. Gale cursed as left the room.

He was still waiting an hour later when Haymitch came and found him. "What the hell are you still doing here? I told them to release you an hour ago."

Gale sighed heavily and gestured to his arm.

"Oh come on boy, that's just a scratch." Haymitch grabbed Gale's arm, and pulled him up, but as he did, the blood gushed. "Christ, did you rip your IV out?" Gale could only nod. And for the second time that day, Haymitch said, "Damn, boy, I thought you were smarter than that. You'll definitely need stitches." Gale took a deep breath, as if admitting defeat. "Okay, well, here, I'll give you this." Haymitch handed Gale a small silver band that looked slightly like a watch. "It's like a phone." Gale arched his eyebrow into a question, wondering how on earth this thing could be like a phone, but Haymitch didn't elaborate. "Put it on," he said, and Gale complied. "So, are you and the missus getting along?"

"What?"

"Katniss." Gale still didn't follow. Haymitch sighed again and seemed to be losing patience. Gale wanted to blame it on the lack of alcohol, but he had to admit that his failings that day would be enough to exhaust anyone. "What I mean is, will you and she want to be sharing living quarters."

"Oh. Um. Yes. I think so."

"What a resounding response. It must be true love," he cackled and pulled out a card, "this is for your room. It's not much, but I figured you two wouldn't want to be living with either of your mothers."

Gale didn't really like Haymitch, but he was thankful for that. "Thanks."

Haymitch ignored his gratitude. "It's on the same level as your family, though in a different row. There was nothing open by hers, and I figured, proximity to her mother was never one of Katniss's priorities."

"Right," Gale said, processing all the information.

"Have you told her yet?"

Gale stumbled from his thoughts, "What?"

"Today really isn't your day, is it? " Haymitch shook his head and explained. "Mrs. Everdeen. Have you told her?" and then he added, "You know, that you knocked her daughter up."

Gale's look told him he didn't need to explain that last part. "Oh, no. Not yet."

Haymitch apparently found this funny. "Have fun with that." He got up to leave. "Oh," he said, as he turned around, "try not to do anything else stupid today. We're need you to come with us tomorrow."

"Where?" The look Haymitch gave him told him that question counted as something stupid. And Gale suddenly realized what he meant. "To go get Katniss...I swear, these kids..."

Gale was not having a good day, and having to sit in that waiting room for another hour didn't make things any better as he went over all the mistakes he'd made...what a fool he must have appeared to Haymitch and his mother and at the time when he should have most appeared like a man. He was partially glad Katniss wasn't here to see him like this.

When he finally got stitched up, Gale went to find his room. He was too proud to ask for help navigating the subterranean halls, so it took him another hour to find it. Space was tight in Thirteen, and most ceilings were only a few inches above his head, and he had to duck to enter some doorways. He finally found their room, it wasn't big, but it was nice to think he and Katniss would have their own space. Along one wall was a small closet already stocked with a few things, and in the space next to it, and table that could fold down from the wall. And on the other side there was the bed, it was pushed tight against two outer walls, and the wall of their small bathroom pressed against the third side. Though Gale made a mental note to always sleep against the wall so Katniss wouldn't wake him when she'd get up to pee at night. The bathroom was incredibly tiny, and Gale was equally annoyed and impressed with the use of the tiny space. There was no designated shower area, but the head was high on the wall across from the toilet, and the small sink was next to that with a little mirror above it. Katniss would not be able to maneuver in here very well as she got bigger, and she'd probably miss having a bathtub. He was thinking about that when he heard a knock on his door. It was his mom.

"Hi, honey."

"Hey mom," he said, sounding more exhausted than he meant.

"How do you like your room?"

"It's...it's fine." He couldn't think of a better adjective.

"We're just down the way, I wanted to see if you wanted to come visit. Vick and Rory are there…"

"Oh, yeah, of course," Gale said, suddenly sounding brighter.

"Are you sure? You're not too tired?"

"Of course not, mom," he said, leaning down to kiss her has he walked through the door.

Hazelle lead him to their quarters and his siblings exploded when he entered the room. Gale grabbed them all into a big hug, and messed with them as he listened to them all recount their recent adventures.

"We agreed to work in the kitchen!" Vick proudly announced, after Posy informed him that she'd learned about in school.

"I'm so proud of you," Gale said, messing his brother's hair.

"Yeah," Rory echoed. "They say everyone has to help out here."

"I can understand that," Gale said.

"I learned about the Pillars of Civilizations today," Posy said, tugging at Gale for more attention.

"The what?" Gale looked at his sister, but his brother tried to steal him back.

"Yeah," Vick rejoined, "we wanted to work where the food is!" Gale smiled at his youngest brother's logic.

"They're called Seats," Posy explained, still vying for Gale's attention.

Vick continued over his sister, "Yeah," he beamed proudly, "We wanted to work where we could steal some food!"

Gale's smile suddenly faded.

"The S stands for sacrifice, C, community…" Posy's continued, "Oh...I don't remember what the E stands for…."

"It's not Seats, it's SCETs," Vick offered, "and the E is for Ethics and the T is for teamwork."

Gale's brain was still stuck on the "stealing" part, and he couldn't help but notice in irony in Vick remembering that. He was trying to figure out how to react when his mother jumped in.

"Vicker Mallard Hawthorne." They all knew what the use of a middle name meant. "You've been stealing again!"

"No." Vick peeped in the most obvious lie.

"What did I tell you about that?" Hazelle's tone rose to a level that even Gale'd be afraid to cross.

"Vick, Rory," Gale added sternly, "stealing is wrong, you know that." The pair of brothers avoided his eyes. "They people here don't have much, and what they do have they are already sharing with us." The younger boys suddenly turned shame-faced.

Gale hoped that guilting his brothers would be a deterrent enough, but he suspected from the way he was treated at the hospital today, the sheer necessity of surviving in a place like this, and the pillars that Posy had just mentioned, that their hosts were sticklers for rules, and probably didn't look to kind on stealing of any type.

"Don't ever do it again," Gale said sternly.

"Okay," both boys peeped.

"I can't believe you, Rory," Hazelle said in the background. "You were supposed to be watching him."

"I was watching him."

"That means keeping him out of trouble!"

"Technically, I did keep him out of trouble." Rory said with a smug smile that he thought made him look cute.

Hazelle did not think he looked cute. "Not anymore!" screamed, and both boy's faces fell. Posy waked over and grabbed Gale's leg. "Go to bed. Now!"

"But it's not even dark yet!" Rory maintained. He was newly a teenager and at the stage where he enjoyed testing boundaries.

Hazelle also believed that that another one of the keys to successful parenting was never letting her children prove her wrong. Her children had proved her wrong fewer times than they'd surprised her. She shot up, almost violently, and flipped off the lights in their quarters. "There. Now it's dark. So go to bed. All of you!"

Gale could hardly see in the room that was now only lit by the window in the door, but he heard the scraping of feet as the they shuffled off to their beds.

"Good night, Gale," Posy said quickly, darting to his leg for a final hug before putting herself to bed.

Gale waited until they all sounded like they were in their beds before he spoke again. "So, you want me to go to bed too?"

Hazelle took a deep breath, "No, dear, I'm sorry about that," she said as she led him to the hall. "Rory's just…"

"He's a teenager, mom."

"You were never like that."

"Well, I couldn't be. But I wasn't perfect."

Hazelle looked at her son as if to say: do I even want to know?

His look back to her said: Probably not.

Hazelle sighed deeply and touched her son's arm.

"I should probably get going anyhow." He took a heavy breath, signaling reluctance. "I need to go talk to Katniss's mom."

"Oh," Hazelle said, in a tone that meant, yes, you should. But she saw her son's reticence "Don't worry dear, Anise likes you."

"Yeah, but does she like me that much?"

"I think so," Hazelle said fondly, taking Gale's face in her hand and leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

"Well, good night mom,"

"Good night dear. I love you."

"Love you too."

. . .

Gale knocked softly on the door of the Everdeen's apartment.

"Gale!" Prim screamed as she opened the door. "Haymitch told us you were here!"

"Hey, kiddo," Gale said, messing her hair. Prim was quick to smooth it back in place. Gale noticed her reaction and remembered what Haymitch told him earlier. He made a mental note to watch himself around her. "How've you been?" he asked mostly to her mother, who was folding sheets at a table.

"We're fine, Gale, thank you." She folded another sheet.

"We're going to get Katniss tomorrow…"

"Yes, Haymitch told us."

"Okay…" Gale said, not really knowing what to do with the conversation. "Well, I just wanted to check in. I didn't want you to worry about her."

"Well, Katniss was never one to let my worrying get in her way."

Gale felt the gravity of that statement even though he didn't quite understand it. "You know, we didn't plan to..."

Anise cut him off, "No need to explain, Gale. I stopped worrying about Katniss a long time ago. I know she can take care of herself."

"Right..." Gale said, not quite sure what to make of that.

"So, how've you ladies been?" He tried to restart the conversation.

"We've been working at the hospitals," Prim said. "I get to help mom out three days a week."

"That sounds great." Gale looked down to Prim, but he could feel her mother's eyes on him. It made him nervous. "What have you been doing there?"

"All sorts of stuff. Mostly helping people with respiratory ailments, they seem to have a lot of those down here…"

"Have you helped delivery any babies?" Gale couldn't believe he just said that. Humor wasn't going to get him in with Katniss's mom, and as the thought about it, that probably wasn't even funny. As soon as he caught her eyes, he realized it wasn't.

"Babies?" Prim asked in disbelief. "No, they don't have many of those down here. Something about a sickness they got a few years ago…"

"Prim, can you give Gale and I a moment, please?"

Prim looked at her mom as if to ask why, but Anise Everdeen held her gaze, and Prim left without another word. Gale got the feeling that look never worked on Katniss.

"You got my daughter pregnant, didn't you?"

That sounded a bit more accusatory than Gale liked, but he couldn't deny it. "Yes."

"Well, I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later." She said it like she expected it and almost smiled when she saw the look of surprise on Gale's face. "Oh, please, when your teenage daughter spends all her free time in the forests with an older boy…."

Gale didn't like what she was implying at all. What kind of a man did she think he was...he would never...Oh, wait, that's exactly what he did. He cursed himself.

"How far along is she?" her tone was almost clinical.

"About five months."

Katniss's mother just nodded. "Can you have her come see me as soon as she gets back?" Gale wasn't sure if that was the motherly request, of a medical one.

"Of course."

"Thank you, Gale."

Gale couldn't help but feel he needed to say something to make this better. "You know I love her, right?"

This time Mrs. Everdeen did smile. "Everyone knows you love her, Gale."

"Oh, okay."

"Thank you for stopping by, Gale." He guessed this was his cue to leave.

"Okay. It was good seeing you."

All she said back was, "yes."

. . .

Gale slept deeply that night, but not exactly peacefully, as too much from that day was drudged through his mind. As he fell asleep, he worried about Katniss and cursed himself for the numerous stupid things he'd done in front of his mom, her mom, and Haymitch. As sleep overtook him, he was drowned in a chorus of their criticisms.

Gale couldn't remember what he'd been dreaming when the bracelet device called him into consciousness. He was happy to be awake. He quickly showered, put on the clothes they'd given him, went to meet Haymitch.

"There you are," Haymitch called him. "We were about to leave without you."

"Sorry," the day had hardly started, and Gale had already made a mistake.

"Don't worry, this place is a maze. I'm still trying to sort it all out."

Gale was surprised by and appreciated Haymitch not criticizing him.

As they climbed onto a hovercraft, Haymitch introduced him. "Jessup, Carmel, Gale Hawthorne." The two soldiers eyed him and nodded their hello. Gale did the same. "He's a good man," Haymitch added, "we're lucky to have him with us."

Gale was a surprised to hear Haymitch say that, but he tried to hide it. This was not the time and place, but on the inside he was smiling. On the outside, however, he tried to look as tough and worthy as Haymitch made him out to be.

"What happened?" Gale finally asked, looking at the window as they moved to Twelve.

Haymitch let out a deep sigh. "That Capitol. You got to hand it to them. They sure know how to play the game. They air strikes that got you and Katniss, well, they hit our units in Eight, Ten, and Four as well. Only, it didn't quite have the desired effect. More people rallied to us, and the Capitol learned...So they cut off supplies. Food didn't come for one week...and then two. No medicine, no fuel...Kids and grandmas started starving to death. People who see bombs falling, they want to fight back. But when people get hungry, all they want is food. About half the district agreed to leave. They went wherever the Capitol would take them, as long as they could eat. The rest of us, well, we hobbled along as long as we could until Thirteen opened their doors to us. We had a couple of contacts here, and when they found out…" Haymitch's look told Gale they couldn't be more grateful.

Gale only nodded, understanding the severity, and the only thing that quelled his anger was the knowledge that he'd get to see Katniss soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello All and thank you so much for reading! As always, I'd love to know what you think about this story and my writing, and if any of you could be kind enough to share your thoughts, I'd greatly appreciate it. I'd love to know what you think about my content, characterization, and especially how predictable my writing is (like, do you see these twists coming) and how my attempts at humor are paying off (go ahead, be honest-criticism will only make me a better writer!)


	22. Chapter 22

Gale suggested they land their hovercraft in the distance, he didn't want to alarm Katniss if they landed it near Victor's Village.

"She'll think it's the Capitol, like I did!" He told Haymitch.

"And then she'll realize it's not soon enough," Haymitch dismissed him.

Gale huffed his disapproval and caught Haymitch's eyes. He strongly suspected that Haymitch's real motivation was that he didn't want to walk too far, but he didn't press the matter further, not sure exactly how seniority worked here or what Haymitch's real authority was.

As they landed on the dewy grass, Gale insisted he head out first.

"Good idea," Haymitch agreed, "she's least likely to shoot you."

Gale shook his head and smiled at that. As the engines shut off, he got up and headed towards the house. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, trying to imagine the state Katniss must be in with him gone for three days. He cursed himself for getting caught, but also knew it was good because it got them to Thirteen, to their families, though he had to admit that part of him was sad to leave their idyllic life alone together.

"Katniss," he called out as he approached. "Katniss! Are you there? Are you okay?!" He ran through the front door. "Katniss! It's safe. It's me!" he rushed through all the rooms in the house, but she wasn't there.

Gale had to force down his worry. This was what he'd expected. She'd either gone looking for him, or gone hiding in the woods. She could take care of herself.

He waved to Haymitch as he jogged out of the house. "She's not in there."

Haymitch nodded, seeming distracted as he looked to his house.

"She's either looking for me in the town or hiding in the woods."

Haymitch nodded again, agreeing with his assessment. "Right. Okay. Well, why don't you go look for her in the woods and you two," he called to the other two men, "start searching the town."

The two soldiers in the back of the ship nodded as Haymitch headed out of the ship. Gale realized he didn't say where he was going to look, and noticed he was walking towards his house. _If he's only come here to fill up on booze,_ Gale thought, realizing that was exactly way Haymitch was doing. "Hey, guys, just, be careful," he said to the other two soldiers, thinking about Katniss. They gave him a ridiculous, ridiculing look. "What," he said, "the woman I love is pregnant and you think me caring about her is unmanly?" Their smug looks faltered for a moment, "and anyway," he added just for the fun of it, "I was telling you that for your sake, not for hers." Their smug looks fell completely with that line, and Gale smiled to himself as he went after her.

Gale knew how Katniss's mind worked, and he strongly suspected that she was at the cabin in the woods. It was deep and far away, but it'd be her safest bet if she was worried the Capitol was in the District. He ran at a brisk pace and hoped Katniss was thinking about what her safest bet would be, and not what her angry, riled up self might think to do.

* * *

Katniss had not found Gale.

She'd marched straight to the cabin in the woods, hoping that was their agreed shelter, and while her feet hurt from the long walk and her fingers felt cold and her stomach tight, she reminded herself of the night they were bombed.

"I'll meet you," he'd said. _I'll meet you, I'll meet you,_ she thought to herself, she promised to him, _I'll meet you...I'm coming…._

When she saw the cabin in the distance, she broke into a run, at least, as best she could, hand over her stomach as she speed-waddled to the door. "Gale!" she cried, imaging him there waiting for her, an apology pouring from his lips for having to leave her, a story that justified it, nearly being caught, and knowing she was smart and capable enough to figure out he'd be waiting for her here.

But no kisses met her as she threw open the door, no apology, no Gale. The cabin was cold and dark and Katniss fell to her knees. "Gale," she sobbed, her head a hurricane of thoughts as every worse fear shot through her. "Gale," she said again and again, trying to convince herself he was still waiting for her in the District, but unable to. His name turned into a sob and then a cry and soon she was pouring all the anger and emptiness in her out, howling almost, as she curled into a ball and found sleep but no peace.

Her dreams were dark that night and her thoughts the next day worse. She held her eyes closed as she awoke, trying to make herself believe there was a chance Gale would be with her, but she knew he wasn't. She spent the entire day trying not to think, trying to keep her mind pouring over all the dark edges, and it was the most exhausting work she'd ever done. She tried to count the leaves on trees or the stones in the water, but nothing worked. All her thoughts led to Gale and what could have possibly happened to him... _had the Capitol captured him? Were they torturing him? Had they cut out his tongue?_

When the following day came, she suddenly realized there were worst thoughts than what was happening to Gale...her baby kicked and she thought: _what's going to happen to us?_ She could stay out in the woods, sure, and get enough food to take care of herself... _but what about when the baby came? Could she deliver it herself? What if she needed help? What if she died? What if the baby died? And then, what if the baby didn't?_ She shuddered, suddenly imaging the child left all alone out here, crying with no one to hear her, no one to help her, left to shrivel or freeze or starve if something happened to Katniss. It was like a fire ripping through her. _Gale's a grown man,_ she told herself, _whatever happened to him, he'd have to deal with himself. I've got to take care of this baby…_ Katniss put her arm protectively around her middle. She was done worrying. She spent the rest of the day coming up with a gameplan. They were not going to die out there in the woods alone, "I promise you," she said, "I promise."

That afternoon, she thought through her options completely resolved that staying alone was not one of them. She needed to find people, and those people were either going to be the Capitol or the Rebellion. Both were risky. She didn't know what the Capitol would do to her, or her baby, and she was loath to put herself in their clutch. She thought she could try and spin the story that the baby was Peeta's, and play up some melodrama that might turn things in her favor, but she honestly didn't know….And the rebellion? How would she even find them? There was no way she could walk to the closest district, Eleven, in her condition. And she had no idea what was going on in Eleven even if she could make it...it might be just the same as turning herself into the Capitol.

Her best bet was having the Capitol find her in Twelve. If she was lucky, the hovercrafts were still there, and she could surrender, hopefully find out what they'd done to Gale, hopefully save him. And then hopefully get in contact with some of the rebel allies in the Capitol, if there still were any. She'd at least be able to ask what'd happened to Haymitch and Peeta without drawing any suspicion to herself, see if Haymitch's cover was still intact...what the state of the rebellion was. And then figure it out from there.

She decided to sleep on her plan, turning it over and over in her mind, and see how she felt about it in the morning.

She woke up in the damp, early morning, her body both somehow numb and overly sensitive. She rubbed her sore neck and stretched her stiff arms. and took a deep breath, almost testing if she could take in the day and hold it inside of her. She sucked the morning air deep into her lungs and held it there, and then slowly, a little bit at a time, she let it all out. She'd done it. If she could take that breath, she could take the next. And if she could take the breaths, then she could take the steps.

No better ideas had come to save her from what she was about to do, and no Gale. "Okay, then," she said to herself, "let's do this," she looked down at the bulging stomach, "let's do this."

* * *

Katniss had been walking for almost half an hour when she heard something. It was tearing through the forest. And whatever it was, it wasn't trying to be quiet. She jumped behind the nearest tree and pressed herself tightly.

"Katniss!"

_Did someone call her name?_

She peeked from around the tree.

"Katniss!" the voice called again.

 _Was that…_ "Gale!" she screamed, finally placing the voice. "Gale!" she jumped out from the tree, eyes searching for him. It took another minute, but she finally saw his figure flash through the forest.

"Katniss, oh my god," he nearly collided with her, barely stopping himself before he knocked her down. She ran into his out stretched arms.

"Gale!" she could hardly believe it was him, and tears pouring as he took her face in his hands and kissed her, her lips, her forehead, her cheeks, her eyes. "What...what...happened? How are you...where…" She choked getting her words out.

"I'm so sorry," he said, holding her tightly and relishing her body.

"Where were you?"

"It's okay," he said, kissing her again, "I'm here now."

"No, it's not okay," she shoved him away, "I thought...I thought…" she sputtered.

"Katniss, I'll explain everything," he said, not quite understanding her anger.

"Gale, I thought..."

"I'm sorry," he held her and kissed her on the forehead, "I didn't mean to scare or worry you…"

"It's not about you!" she screamed at him. He looked at her concerned, not quite understanding. "I wasn't worried about you! I thought you were dead! I thought I was all alone! I thought I was going to have this baby alone out here and die!"

Gale couldn't believe it. He'd been worried about her, of course, but it never crossed his mind the worry she'd have for herself. He imagined she'd have been so worried about him, but now that he thought about it, now that he realize what she must have been thinking, what she was facing, he felt horrible.

"Come here," he said, but she still looked at him steelily, " please, I'm so sorry…" she let him take her into his arms now, "I'm so sorry," he pressed his lips to her temple, and held her tightly as she sobbed into him.

"I thought...I thought…"

He rubbed his hands up and down her back and over her arms, trying to maker her feel safe and waiting for her to calm down. When she was finally able to speak again, she asked, "so what the hell happened?"

Gale took her hands in his and led her over to a log to sit. He told her about being captured by what he thought were peacekeepers and waking up prisoner in Thirteen. He told her about Haymitch and their families.

"Everyone's there, Katniss, they're safe. Your mom, your sister, my family too, even Haymitch."

She couldn't find words to respond. She looked up at Gale, eyes brimming with tears and questions.

"Yeah, Catnip," he said with the trace of a smile, "they're all there. Waiting for us."

She returned his smile and gave him her hand so he could help her up and lead her back home.

* * *

It took Gale and Katniss a little over two hours to walk back to the District, and they found Haymitch sitting on the edge of the hovercraft tipping a bottle of what was undoubtedly liquor as they approached. As soon as he made out Katniss, he let out a deep breath and laughed.

Katniss looked down, uncertain how she was going to face Haymitch. She'd spent the majority of the past two hours considering how she was going to face everyone after all that happened and considering her current state. "You told them I was pregnant?" She'd asked Gale about ten times.

"Yes," he'd said, "I swear."

"And how'd they take it?"

"Pretty well." Katniss'd looked at him like that wasn't a sufficient answer. "I think both our mothers kind of figured this would happen sooner or later," he said with a bit of a shrug.

She'd looked surprised. "And Haymitch?"

"He laughed," Gale said, leaving out the part where Haymitch had called him stupid.

The laugh Katniss had imagined was the same one she was hearing now.

"Well hello sweetheart," Haymitch said as they approached, "long time no see, I'm glad you're..." he took a moment to find the right words, "well-fed."

Her eyes shot a scowl that told him that was not the right word. He only laughed some more. "And you're looking well-watered, as usual," her tone fell with condescension.

"Aww, I missed you too, sweetheart," he cackled, "come on board now, we've got a lot to talk about." He tossed the empty liquor bottle over his shoulder and scooted to the side to let her in. Gale helped her up and they headed to Thirteen.


	23. Chapter 23

"My mom and sister, they're okay?" Katniss immediately asked Haymitch.

"Yeah, they're fine." Haymitch assured her.

"I can't believe I get to see Prim again," she said, looking to Gale and squeezing her hand. "She must have been so worried."

"She was, but I told her you were okay," Haymitch assured her, "Out with Gale in the woods."

"Thank you," she said, but then added, "but wait...you didn't know we were okay, did you?"

Haymitch chuckled. "No. But my contacts told me you weren't being held in the Capitol, so I figured there was a 50/50 chance you two were either dead or okay in the woods."

"So you told my mother and sister that I was fine when you thought there was a good chance I was dead?"

"Hey, I'm an optimist. Plus, no point in worrying them when there's nothing I could do about it."

Katniss huffed annoyedly and got the distinct impression that Haymitch only did that to make his life easier rather than her family's. But still, she was grateful. "When can I see them?"

"After we get you checked in. Oh, speaking of," he suddenly remembered something and reached into one of his pockets, "This is for you," he said, handing her one of the wristbands like he'd given Gale the day before. "It's a communicuff. It'll tell you your schedule." he looked to Katniss, as he showed her how to use it, "so you'll be going to, uh," he squinted to read, "check in and then the doctors."

"I want to see my sister first."

"Well, that's not going to happen, sweetheart," Haymitch said dismissively. "Plus, she's probably busy right now anyhow."

Katniss glared at him preparing her rebuttal.

"Don't look at me like that. These people are very…" he took a deep breath as he looked for the right word, "regimented. And you," he looked at Gale this time, "you've got," he pressed a button on the communicuff, "assessment and assignment," Haymitch said with a laugh.

"What's that?" Gale asked.

"That's how they're going to figure out what to do with you. Don't worry, you'll be fine," Haymitch said. But both Katniss and Gale looked at each other apprehensively.

When they landed in Thirteen, a small team awaited them.

"Hawthorne?" A serious man asked.

"Yeah," Gale said, standing close to Katniss.

"You're coming with us."

Katniss looked up at him and nodded, but realized her approval didn't matter as one of the men reached out for Gale and led him away. She was still watching him disappear down a long, lighted hall when she heard her name.

"Ms. Everdeen?"

"Hey, Sweetheart."

"Um, yeah," she said, looking at Haymitch and the woman next to him.

"Ms. Everdeen, you'll be coming with me." The woman's name tag read: Nurse Stone. She had straight, dark hair and her lips formed a severe line. "Now please, we have a lot of tests to run to make sure you're clean to enter the general population."

Katniss was taken aback. She wasn't sure she liked the sound of this. But Haymitch shook his head and chuckled and told her everything was alright and to go ahead.

The nurse led her to a small, examination room. "If you could change into this dressing gown, please," she said offhandedly as she started prepping things. There was no space for Katniss to change in private, and she got the distinct impression that such things didn't matter here and quickly changed while the nurse's back was turned. "You can sit up on the table when you're finished." Katniss did as she was told.

Katniss wasn't surprised that the woman's touch was ice cold as she took a few blood samples and checked her heart and breathing wordlessly. When Nurse Stone was finished, she handled Katniss clipboard bound with several pages. "Fill this out and the doctor will be in to see you shortly."

Nurse Stone left without another word, leaving Katniss to puzzle over her new home and the small book of medical questions before her. She filled out her name, age, height, and weight easily enough, but several questions were full of medical jargon she didn't understand a word of. She flipped through the pages hopelessly when a short, middle aged woman came through the door.

"Hi, dear, I'm Dr. Bloom," the woman said with a sunny smile that caught Katniss off guard.

"Hi," she finally managed to spit out.

"Alright, dearie, let's have a look at you," she said as she pulled out an otoscope and looked in Katniss's ears, eyes, nose and throat. "We're so happy to have you with us here," she said smiling, "and you're little one."

"Um, thanks," Katniss said, still uncertain what to make of it all.

"Can you take a deep breath for me?"

Katniss obliged as the woman listened to her heart and lungs.

"Now, let's listen for the little guy," she placed her stethoscope to Katniss's belly and beamed. "Now, that sounds healthy. Do you want to hear?" She asked, pulling the instrument from her ears. Katniss was stunned at question.

"The heartbeat?"

"Yeah," Dr. Bloom responded, helping Katniss put the stethoscope to her ears. "You hear that?"

Katniss nodded desperately, trying not to cry as she was overcome by the sound of her baby's life.

"That's one strong heart," the doctor said, patting Katniss's back.

"Yeah," Katniss agreed, wiping one rogue tear from her eye.

The doctor grabbed Katniss's clipboard.

"Oh, sorry," she quickly began, "I didn't finish that. I didn't know what to put for most of the answers."

Dr. Bloom again smiled consolingly and told Katniss not to worry. "It's not a problem. The tests will tell us anyway. Since we've been isolated in Thirteen for so long, we have to make sure no one's carrying anything that'll infect us. But no one else from Twelve had anything, so I doubt you do either," she explained as she flipped through another sets of paper. "It looks like you're iron's a little low and your calcium too, so I'm going to put you on some extra vitamins on top of the normal prenatal, and I want you to take those twice a day with food. And try to eat more dairy and vegetables at meal time. You're weight's also a bit lower than I'd like it to be at this stage of you."

Katniss's face went blank as she took in all the information, and she didn't realize that she'd protectively put her hand across her stomach.

"Don't worry," Dr. Bloom said as she noticed Katniss's reaction, "you're still very healthy, and considering you're young and have an active lifestyle, I'm not worried. But I'll write you a prescription for extra servings."

Katniss smiled back at the woman before she considered the implications of what "a prescription for extra servings" meant.

"Okay, if you want to hop up on the table now, we'll start with the pelvic exam."

"The what?"

"You've never had one of these?"

Katniss shook her head. "There's nothing to worry about, I promise, though this might be a bit uncomfortable, but we need to make sure everything looks good."

Katniss slowly moved to the table, feeling very uncertain about this, and while she liked this doctor and she seemed like a nice person, she wasn't inclined to trust anybody this much, especially not right after meeting them and in an uncertain place. She pulled herself up rigidly on the table.

Dr. Bloom sat in front of her and her face disappeared behind Katniss's propped up knees. "I need you to spread your legs please," she said soothingly.

Katniss froze for another moment, uncertain what to do, but finally conceded.

"Okay, dear, just try to relax, you're going to feel a bit of pressure."

"Okay…" Katniss said apprehensively.

"Now, you're going to feel a little pinch," Katniss winced slightly as she did, more from discomfort than pain, "good. Can you tell me if you're still sexually active?"

Katniss's face flushed with worry. "Umm, yeah, is that a problem? Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, not at all. Your baby is very well protected. Sex is perfectly safe, and in fact, most women's libido's increase quite a bit during pregnancy, so you might as well enjoy yourself as long as you're comfortable."

Considering the position they were in, Katniss couldn't help but like this woman.

Have you experienced any bleeding? Or unusual discharge?"

"No."

"You might start to soon, as long as there's no blood, it's normal. Well, everything looks good," Dr. Bloom said standing up. "Now I'm going to examine your stomach and your breasts. She gently pressed down on and messaged around Katniss's stomach. "Have you felt the little one move yet?"

"Yeah," Katniss admitted a bit happily.

"Good," she said, moving up to her breasts. "Oh, sorry, are they very tender?"

Katniss nodded having winced uncomfortably.

"Well, Katniss, everything looks good to me," Dr. Bloom said with a bright smile. Katniss scooted herself up on the table and nodded as she processed all the information. She'd never realized there was so much to worry about until this doctor told her everything that was going right. "Want to see how the little one is looking now?"

"What?" Katniss was pulled from her thoughts, not quite understanding.

The doctor rolled a machine forward. "You don't have these in Twelve?"

Katniss shook her head, still not comprehending.

Dr. Bloom's eyes sparkled as she grabbed a tube of gel and turned on the machine. A small screen flickered to life. "This'll be a little cold," she said, smearing some of the gel on her stomach and taking a wand to it. As soon as it touched her skin, the screen

"Oh my god," Katniss said, choking on her words, suddenly compelled to reach out and touch the screen, "that's a little….that's a little face."

"That's your baby's little face."

"I can see the nose!"

"Yes, and look," Dr. Bloom moved the wand, "there's a hand, see it like a fist?"

Katniss nodded a few more tears spilled from her eyes, "Yes."

"You said you were around five months along?"

"Yeah," Katniss responded, not looking away from the screen.

"Looks more like six to me," the doctor said. "do you want to know if you're having a boy or a girl?"

"Oh, you can tell?"

"Yep."

"Wow. We don't have that option in Twelve. Um...I think," the option was too much for her to consider in one moment and she wished she had Gale with her to ask. Thinking that, she found her answer. "I think I should ask Gale what he wants, or, I'd want him to be here if we could find out."

"Is Gale the father?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, wiping a few more tears from her eyes as she looked at the tiny human before her. "He'd love to see this. Is there a way…can I get a picture of this or something?"

Dr. Bloom looked at her sympathetically, "Oh, I'm sorry. We don't have the materials for that. But you can bring him with you next time."

"Thanks."

After being given a clean bill of health, Katniss was told she could go visit her mother and sister for dinner. She was given new new set of clothing-a very ugly, but rather practical pair of drawstring navy cotton pants and a white t-shirt to go over them. Since her mom and sister would be seeing her for the first time pregnant, she was rather happy that the loose, baggy did a good job of hiding her belly. She was still noticeably larger, but not obviously or shockingly huge. Since her mother and sister were both working in the medical unit, Katniss was told they come and find her when they finished their shift. She'd been sitting in a waiting area for almost half an hour when she heard Prim's voice excitedly call her name.

"Katniss!"

Katniss dropped the pamphlet she was reading on breastfeeding and ran to her sister.

"Oh my god, Prim," she pressed her body against her own in a large hug and then took her small face in her hands and kissed her forehead. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," her sister say, wriggling from her hug. "Are you?" She said a bit playfully, eyeing her stomach.

"Oh, Katniss," her mother said, looking her up and down before taking her softly in her arms, "let me look at you." She looked her up and down again, and Katniss tried to read her expression. Her mother didn't reveal much and sighed to herself before saying, "it's so good to have you back."

"Do you want to come see our room?" Prim asked.

"Yeah," Katniss said, taking her little sister's hand, "and I want you to tell me everything that's happened since I've been gone.

As Prim led Katniss to their room, she told them about how worried they were when Katniss disappeared, but that Haymitch assured them she was safe with Gale. "We knew Gale'd take care of you," Prim beamed, and Katniss couldn't help but catch the look in her mother's eye as Prim said that. Perhaps Gale hadn't taken care of her in quite the way her mother would have wanted. "Things got pretty hard after that. The Capitol cut off supplies," Prim said, her tone dropping to one slightly more severe. "Mom and I tried to take care of as many people as we could, but soon, most of them started leaving…"

Katniss rubbed her sister's back, remembering what Haymitch told her in the hovercraft about the Capitol's measures after the attack.

"But then Thirteen came and saved us!" Prim's voice picked back up again. "They've been super nice to us, taking us in, and I get to work in the hospital with mom three days a week. I've even made a friends there. Katniss caught another look in her mom's eye this time, and she got the distinct feeling one of these friends was special. And a boy.

When they made it to their room, Katniss was surprised at how small it was, but she supposed it made sense considering the entire place was underground. A set of bunk beds lined one wall, with storage to the side of it and under. Opposite that wall was a counter that held a small sink and more storage space and a table that could fold out from the wall. Despite the cramped quarters, her mother and Prim seemed to be making do.

Her mother moved to unfold three chairs around the small table that, once unfolded, took up nearly half of the free space in the room. "So, Katniss," she said, filling three glasses with water from the tap, "now that you know what we've been up to, tell us how you've been."

Prim sat across from her, eyes seemingly excited to hear her story. "Well, um," Katniss unconsciously put her arm around her stomach, wondering how she was supposed to explain that, "the Capitol captured Gale and me, after the attack, and they took us up in hovercrafts," she decided to be a bit vague about certain specific details, not wanting to worry Prim too much, but also realized she needed to include enough danger to warrant her and Gale's absence for six months, "We were eventually able to overpower them and escape," she decided that they didn't need to know that she crashed two hovercrafts to do that, "but we didn't know where they'd been taking us. So we just had to pick a direction to walk in, and it turns out, we picked the wrong one. We were walking for like three months, trying to get home."

"Mmmhmmm," her mother nodded. It was the sound of a question more than a disapproval.

Katniss had been studying her mother while Prim talked, trying to gauge her, but she was so far unreadable. Katniss was also aware that no one had overtly brought up her pregnancy, and she wasn't sure if she should be the one to do so. As she considered doing so, someone knocked on their door. Prim jumped up to answer, and Katniss smiled noticing how her sister reacted to the boy at the door.

"Torry," she beamed, "come in. I want you to meet my sister."

Katniss took it this was the special friend Prim had mentioned earlier. Torry had sandy blond hair and light eyes. "Hi," he said, waving politely and acknowledging their mother, "Ms. Everdeen."

"Hello, Torry," her mom said.

"It's nice to meet you," he said to Katniss, "Prim's told me all about you."

Katniss smiled hearing that. "She's told me a bit about you too." When Katniss glanced at her sister, she was almost certain she was blushing.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to come to dinner."

"Oh," Prim said a bit abashedly, "I was going to have dinner with my sister."

"Okay," Torry said, and Katniss could tell he was trying not to sound crestfallen.

"You know what, Prim, they fed me while I was waiting, so I'm not hungry. Why don't you go with him."

"Can I, mom?" Prim asked with eyes suddenly alight.

"Of course."

Katniss was almost a little hurt to see how quickly her sister spun out the door after sputtering quick goodbyes and kisses to her and her mom, but she was happy to see Prim was doing so well here in Thirteen. That and how nice Dr. Bloom had been to her lessened a lot of the apprehension she felt about this place.

That feeling of apprehension was replaced when she caught the look her mother was giving her. She knew questions about the pregnancy were coming.

"So, Katniss," her mother began.

Katniss forced herself to meet her mother's eyes. "What do you want to know, mom?" She said like she'd been threatened.

Her mom shook her head slightly, "how are you, dear?"

"I'm okay," Katniss said, not sure how to elaborate.

Her mother registered her reluctance and didn't press farther. "Can I see your stomach?"

"I've already seen a doctor."

"Yes, but I've delivered more babies than anyone here has, so if you don't mind…"

Katniss turned her chair away from the table and pulled her shirt up as her mother began pressing her stomach.

"What did the doctor tell you?"

"That everything was fine." Katniss suddenly was hit with the emotions she felt looking at her baby's face on the screen and she had to fight back tears again. These emotions were compounded with the fact that she was with her mother now, and Katniss had to work really hard to hold back her tears. But she did, she was determined not to cry in front of her mom, though Katniss was now realized that she was going to be a mom. She some how hadn't thought about that before. It'd taken her long enough to come to terms with the fact that she was pregnant, and now she'd just accepted that she was having a baby, but seeing that baby's face and now confronting her mother...Katniss blamed the hormones for the flood of emotions hitting her and tried to push them all away.

"Everything does look good," her mother finally said, and Katniss couldn't help but notice how her fingers lingered, almost caressing her stomach before she pulled her shirt down. "The baby's in a good position."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, dear," her mother said. Her hand moved forward like it was going to touch Katniss's face, but didn't. Katniss almost waited for her mom to say something else, to open the conversation back up so they could talk about something. Katniss almost found herself wishing her mother would say tell her something about motherhood, or offer some words of advice. But she didn't. Instead, Katniss got up and said she wanted to check into her room. "Of course," was all her mother said.

Katniss barely made it to the room before the waterworks started. She crumbled to the ground in the corner, pulling her legs up and sobbed madly, convinced there was no way she could ever be a good mother to the child growing within her, and mad she already loved the little one so much.

She was sitting at the table, face in her hands, tired from crying when Gale came in. He walked in and immediately sank in the bed and let out and exhausted sigh. His behavior was so out of character, it stopped her silent tears. "Are you okay?"

"I am exhausted." Gale said in slow breaths.

"What happened?" she asked, wiping her face dry.

"Assessment and Assignment," Gale said with a tone laced with loathing.

"What?"

"Assessment and Assignment. It's how Thirteen determines where you work. They had me do tests. Physical tests. Mental tests. Physical and mental tests. I ran ten miles, I lifted weights, I swam-tell me, why on earth does it matter if you can swim down here? It was harder than working in the mines, I swear. And then, they had me do math. I took four written tests, and then, at the end, they had me run an obstacle course while they shouted questions out at me I had to answer...checking my comprehension and retention abilities. I had to figure out how to climb up a rock wall why balls were being hurled at me and do long division. I swear, it was the worst. But I'll tell you," he said, finally rolling over and looking at Katniss, "if that's how they train people here, they probably have some of the best soldiers…." Gale finally saw Katniss's face and realized she'd been crying. "What's wrong?" He immediately jumped up and went over to her.

She started to shake her head, trying to ward off the tears, but it was no use. "I'm going to be a mom!"

"What?" Gale asked, not understanding a bit and pulling her into a hug.

"I'm going to be a mom," she explained again, as if it made more sense this time.

"I know…" Gale was trying desperately to figure out what that was suddenly upsetting her so.

"Like my mom!"

"Oh," Gale said through a breath. Now he understood, "no, Katniss, you're not going to be like your mom." He tried to sooth her.

"You don't know that! I remembered today how I feel about her. Or how I don't feel about her. And I realized my child could feel that way about me."

"Katniss, you're nothing like your mom. Look at how you take care of Prim. What makes you think you'll be any different with your own kid?"

Gale's words didn't have the desired comfort he'd intended. Suddenly all Katniss was thinking about was how quickly and excitedly Prim left to have dinner with a boy, and now, she was sobbing about that and leaving Gale to try and figured out what happened between her fragments wails. And as much as Gale wanted to make Katniss feel better, he realized that his words weren't going to do the trick, so he held her until she finally stopped crying and thought of ways to address Katniss and her mother's relationship.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi Guys! I want to thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story! It means a lot to me, and helps me justify all the time and effort I pour into these stories...and I love knowing you've enjoyed it. I just want to let you know that we've entered the final stretch of this story (I'm hoping to have it done by Ch 30), so I'd especially love feedback so I can try and bring a satisfactory ending for all of us. Let me know what you like best, what you like least, what you want more of, anything…
> 
> Also, since things are rising to a climax here, I think it's best to give a rough timeline for this story (b/c I know I've been super vague about things up until this point). But now that G&K are back in the real world, I suppose these things matter.
> 
> My story began post-Victor Tour and pre-Quell, and I once said I imagined the Tour to be in the winter and the Reapings to be in the Summer, so I'm going to give Feb/Sept dates to those. I'm imagining the attack that started off our story to have taken place at the end of Feb, which means Katniss got pregnant in March. Our story now is taking place with Katniss 5 months pregnant and it's the beginning of August. This means the Quell announcement is coming up very soon. (and I actually put a lot of thought into this. I tried to make it very different from the Quell idea I'm using in my other story "Into the Flames," (and it wasn't easy coming up with two (hopefully) terrifying and appropriate Quell ideas) so I'd love to know what you all think!)
> 
> Another bit of background that might be useful: Gale and Katniss were clearly involved in working with the rebellion. I've mentioned the Mockingjay briefly, so Katniss new about the idea. But it's a plan that hadn't fully been worked out at the time of the attack (in Feb), but that Katniss was agreeing to take up to help the rebellion. Haymitch had a network of friends in other Districts all working together to move the rebellion along, but their efforts were hurt when the Capitol bombed them. Districts 4, 8, 10 and 12 were all hit at the same time when our story began. Now we get to find out what's been going on since :)

Katniss was snuggled tightly on Gale's chest when an alarm woke them the next morning. Gale stirred first, cursing softly at his sore muscles from the previous day's activities as he tried to find the source of the noise and not disturb Katniss. He'd already pulled himself out from under her by the time he realized that the noise was coming from the communicuff on his wrist.

"Damn," Gale swore as he shut if off and saw his schedule flash before him:

7.00—Shower...7.30—Breakfast...8.00—Meeting with President...12.00—Training...

"What time is it?" Katniss asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"6.45" Gale said.

She nodded and yawned.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she stretched. "What do we have to do today?"

Gale leaned over her and grabbed her communicuff, it read identical to his. He kissed her on the cheek and said, "I guess we're meeting the president today."

"Oh," Katniss said, and Gale couldn't tell if she was indifferent of still half asleep. She then squeezed the button on her communicuff, and nodded, processing the information. "So who has Thirteen decided gets to shower first? Me or you?"

Gale laughed. "It says seven for both of us. So I guess we get to battle it out."

"Or we could just shower together," she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him towards her.

"Oh?" he said, giving into her kiss. "I suppose that would save water."

"Mmmhmmm," she said, kissing him again, but this time suggesting that she wasn't thinking about saving water. She let her hands wander down his back, squeezing him slightly, and Gale couldn't deny that aroused him.

"Oh, Katniss," he said through a shuddered breath.

"Mmmmhmmm," she sighed again to a blanket agreement to everything he was thinking.

After another deep, long kiss, he held out his hand and pulled her off the bed to the shower. They helped each other peel off their clothing, and though the space was small, it wasn't too awkward as they could both turn around easily in the shower. Gale turned on the hot water and Katniss grabbed the soap, directing Gale to turn in front of her so she could wash his back. She stepped up to kiss his neck before doing so, and scrubbed his arms, his shoulders, his back, and his butt before telling him to turn again. As Gale spun to face her, she felt something poke her and looked down to see him aroused. She playfully flicked the tip of his stiffening member.

"Oh, sorry about that," he said with a sly grin, "can't help it."

"Mmmhmmm," she as she washed his chest and then reached down to stroke it.

"Oh, god, not fair," he said, and she just looked up and smiled at him wickedly. And just when she was starting to get him going, she let go and handed him the soap.

"My turn," she said innocently.

"Really not fair," Gale mumbled as he began to wash her, lovingly caressing, trailing his fingers down her back and up her neck as he scrubbed. She moaned happily and pressed herself into him as he did, letting him wash her front while standing behind her, his long, strong arms reaching around as she leaned up to kiss him. The washing quickly faded into caressing, and soon, the soap and wash cloth fell to the ground, Gale turned off the water and led Katniss out of the bathroom. He grabbed a towel and got down on his knees before Katniss, kissing her belly as he dried her off and she massaged his scalp.

When Gale stood up, playfully drying her hair, she leaned in to kiss him. "We've got time," she said, nudging him hard again.

"Katniss," he said, his tone quavering between rebuttal and consent. She kissed him harder, pressing her body tightly to his, and he breathed her name again, this time, in complete compliance.

She backed up to the bed, and Gale fell to his knees again before her, trailing kisses up her leg and letting his hands wander to her privates. He was a bit shocked at how wet she already was, and it excited him, making him harden all the more he needed to. Katniss made some sort of approving moan when his hands reached her wet lips, which he knew meant she wanted him. He quickly got up and guided himself in. Katniss gasped approvingly, pulling his body to hers as if it weren't possibly for enough of their skin to be touching. She entwined her hand with his and kissed his wrist as he entered. She was unbelievably ready for him, which drove him wild. She arched one of her legs up and hooked it around his waist, allowing him to reach deep inside her and sent thrills throughout his being. As he slide in and out, their rhythm and breathing quickened, until they were almost one constant sound-the in-out of both their breaths and bodies until they were done, and the breathing turned to kissing and laughing again and finally, "we really do have to get ready."

Their quick love-making session had made them late for breakfast, not that either of them minded. But as they were about to head out the door, Katniss caught herself in the mirror, "I really can't meet the president looking like this." Her hair was a decided mess, still wet from the shower and now partially tangled. Gale walked up to her and kissed her on the forehead, but he couldn't disagree. He pulled her ID card from off her neck.

"How about I go down and grab breakfast," he said, "I'm sure they can pack you something to go, and I'll meet you in the meeting room?"

Katniss leaned up to kiss him, saying she agreed, and rushed to find a comb while Gale headed to the cafeteria.

Gale had to argue with the attendant checking IDs to explain why Katniss wasn't coming herself.

"She's pregnant, okay, she," the attendant, a dull-eyed older woman, wasn't looking very sympathetic, "look, she was having...issues, but she needs to eat, please?" He was trying not to sound agitated.

She let out a deep huff. "Fill out this sheet and we can make you something to-go," she said, like Gale was causing her the greatest inconvenience.

"Thank you," he said as meaningfully as he could and flashing a sincere smile.

Gale gulped down the large bowl of cereal they'd given him and checked his watch—7:50—and quickly downed some juice before snatching an apple and the bag they'd made Katniss, and rushing to the conference room.

Gale waited outside the door and Katniss arrived only a few minutes later. Her hair had been neatly combed and put into a ponytail. He smiled when he saw her, shaking the bag of food.

"For me?" she grabbed it and leaned in to kiss him. Gale opened the door and they headed in.

Gale and Katniss were a few minutes early. Inside the room, they saw a few faces they'd never met before and several empty chairs. Gale introduced himself and Katniss said hello as she opened her bag. It didn't occur to her that she should ask to eat before she started munching. One of the men at the table eyed her disapprovingly while the other offered a friendly smile. A few moments later, Haymitch came crashing through the doors and nearly tripped over a chair as he walked in. Both Katniss and Gale remembered the stash of alcohol he'd brought back with him from Twelve and wondered how much of it he'd already depleted.

"Oh, good," he said upon seeing Gale and Katniss, "you two made it." His head wobbled as he looked over the seats before choosing one. "Gale and Katniss," he said without looking up, "meet Beetee and, uh, Pierce." Haymitch didn't clarify which man was which as took his seat. As Katniss kept eating, she noticed Haymitch was staring at her.

"What?"

"You, uh, might want to finish that before the president gets here," he coughed.

"And you might want to sober up."

One of the two men laughed at that. He had darker skin, short hair, and glasses. "Cinna's right, I do like her."

Haymitch sneered and swatted the air. "You like everyone, Beetee."

"That's not entirely true," the man said eloquently, "but I make a point of liking most people on our side." He stood up and extended his hand, "I'm Beetee Latier," he said. Gale got up and shook his hand.

"It's good to meet you."

"Hi," Katniss said, following suit. "Hey, you look familiar. Have we met?"

"Beetee here's a fellow Victor," Haymitch said, slapping his friend on the back.

"Quite," Beetee said, examining Haymitch's smile strangely. "But more importantly, I'm one of the head communication engineers in the Capitol now. He said your name was Gale, was it?" Gale nodded, "Gale Hawthorne?"

"Yeah," Gale said, perking up slightly. The other man, Pierce, seemed to notice mention of Gale's name too.

"Well, I'm pleasantly surprised to meet you here. They sent your test results to me yesterday, and I daresay they were quite impressive. If you don't mind, could I have a word with you after this meeting?"

"Of course," Gale said, noticeably sitting up straighter and looking excited.

"Excellent," Beetee finished, straightening his tie.

Haymitch just shook his head and laughed as he slouched in his chair. He was reaching in his pocket when the doors opened. Piece was the first to dart straight up out of his seat and stand at attention. Beetee immediately followed, though less ceremoniously as Haymitch clumsily pushed himself up, though wasn't quite able to stand straight. Gale and Katniss eyed each other and did the same.

An unassuming slender woman with long, gray hair came through the doors. Her head was turned back, mid-conversation with the man following her. He was about her age with a ruddy complexion, sandy-blond hair, and was dressed better than she was.

"Just get it to me, as soon as you can," she told him.

"Of course," he said with a nod.

Katniss swallowed her last bite of breakfast bar, and quickly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand realizing she was standing before the president. She nearly choked on that last bite when she heard the man, Pierce, say, "Madame President," and salute.

Katniss had been looking at the man. She didn't realize the President was a woman.

"Thank you, General," the woman said softly, nodding so they all could sit. "Beetee, can you set up the telescreen?"

"Of course," he said, jumping up and moving to the wide screen on the wall in front of him.

"You're sure that the channel is safe?"

"Oh, yes ma'am," he said a bit proudly, turning to her, "I programmed it myself. There isn't a safer channel in all of Panem."

Beetee picked up a device and the screen flickered to life. Two boxes appeared on it. In the first, a man appeared. He was older than Katniss and Gale, but younger than the rest of the people present. He had short, spiky hair, and if Katniss wasn't mistake, one pierced ear. The lighting around him was poor, and it appeared like he was in a cave.

"Corsair, can you hear me?" Beetee asked. It took a few moments, but the man held his ear and then nodded.

"Yeah, you're coming in loud and clear."

Katniss leaned into Gale. "Corsair...do we know that name?" she whispered.

"Lagan Corsair. He was second in command in Four," Gale answered softly, and that's when Katniss realized the piercing in his ear was a fishhook.

Next to his image, another image flickered and another face appeared.

"Cinna!" Katniss couldn't help herself from saying, jumping up as she saw her friend.

His reaction time was slow due to the distance, but he quickly smiled and looked her direction. "There's my favorite girl. It's so good to see you."

"I take it you can hear us too then?" Beetee asked Cinna who returned with a nod and big smile. "Excellent," Beetee responded, taking his seat.

"Are you both safe and secure?" the President asked. Cinna and the other man nodded. "Good, we're all here."

"Organdy isn't joining us?" Lagan Corsair asked.

"Not today," the President said, looking at the papers in front of her instead of at him.

"I want to thank you all for coming," she said, looking around and eyes stopping on Katniss. "Katniss, I've wanted to meet you for a long time. My name is Alma Coin," she said, extending her hand, "and I think I speak for all of Thirteen when I say I'm so very glad you're here."

Katniss gulped audibly and nodded, unsure of what to say, and took the President's hand.

"We have before us some of the most important figures in the rebellion," she began introducing, "This is General Pierce, and he's head of the military in Thirteen," she gestured to the man sitting next to her. "And this," she gestured to the sandy-blond on her other side, "is Plutarch Heavensbee. He's head-game maker in the Capitol now."

"But don't worry, I'm on your side," he said with twinkling eyes and a wink, waving at Katniss, Gale, and Lagan.

"For those of you who don't know, this is Beetee Latier, he's in charge of communications."

"Hello," he said with a slightly nervous smile.

"Haymitch Abernathy, one of our top liaisons," Haymitch didn't even look up as she said it, "and next to him, Katniss Everdeen, whom I believe we all know, and Gale Hawthorne. On the screen, we have Cinna Aurum working for us from the Capitol, and Lagan Corsair, the Commanding Rebel Officer in Four."

Gale coughed slightly hearing that, realizing it meant something had happened to Caravel, the guy in charge before him.

"As you all know, or not," she said, suddenly looking at Katniss and Gale, "we're facing a very sensitive time and how we proceed from here is going to be crucial."

Katniss noticed the blond man, Plutarch, nodding and looking solemn as the President spoke.

"Have you two been filled in on the state of the rebellion during your absence?"

Katniss was glad Gale spoke up first. "Yes, at least, I think so. Haymitch told us that several of our headquarters were simultaneously attacked, the ones in Four, Eight, Ten and as well as Twelve. But he said that set us back, a lot, and of course," Gale said, trying to sound respectful, "Thirteen is involved now."

President Coin smiled when he said that, though her voice showed no sign of knowing it. "Yes. General Piece, could you bring us all up to speed?"

"Things have been pretty scattered since the Capitol's attack. These attacks initially brought more people to the rebellion, but the Capitol quickly adjusted and put strict sanctions against the Districts with known rebellions...earlier curfews, extended work hours, smaller rations...as you saw, Twelve was essentially starved into submission."

Haymitch swore under his breath and Gale stood straighter, his anger alerting him.

"And its residents were given the option of going to Nine, Ten, or Eleven," the General continued, "which we've had no contact with the rebel units there since the initial attacks…"

"That's because Angus sold us out…" Lagan screamed with such intensity that Katniss almost thought he'd jump out of the screen.

"Now," the President raised her hand, reclaiming the room.

"Haymitch, you know it's true!" Lagan called again.

Haymitch took a deep breath and threw his greasy hair back with his hand before looking up. "We don't know that…"

"But we do know that the Capitol captured him," Lagan maintained, "Plus, with Finnick's intel..."

"Finnick Odair is not an ally," General Pierce said both calmly and cuttingly.

"You can trust Finnick!" Lagan spat again. "You know we can!" he pointed to Haymitch.

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled.

"I have to agree there," Beetee added almost too quietly. "Finnick Odair could be a valuable asset."

"He is very well connected," Cinna added, speaking loud and clear so he'd be heard.

Katniss's eyes darted between the men as they argued and she remembered that Angus Bohar was the head of the rebels in Ten.

"Let's remember the Capitol got Caravel too," General Piece added.

"And killed him!" Lagan spat with a sound between a bark and a laugh, "they pinned his body up by the docks. Or, the parts of him that were left, anyway…" he said like it still hurt him. "And that should show you whose side he was on!"

"The point is," General Pierce said, clearing his throat and trying to regain control, "things have been scattered and—"

"Four is ready to fight! We're stronger than ever," Lagan said, smacking his chest like a warrior. "And we know Eight is too!"

The President let out a sharp sigh, and Haymitch laughed, muttering under his breath. Gale and Katniss didn't know what was going on in Eight, but it was clearly a source of contention.

"Eight is not ready," the President said like it were an indisputable fact, "even if they were, two rebel units plus Thirteen's army is not enough to take down the Capitol."

"But you guys have weapons!" Lagan shouted.

For the first time, a shadow of something crossed President Coin's face and she shifted in her seat.

"Mr. Corsair," she said, but Katniss could tell it was a threat. In the background, Cinna and Plutarch were trying to convince the General that Finnick Odair would be a good asset, and Beetee was perspiring and looking uncomfortable.

"He is very well connected," Plutarch said, almost admiringly, "he could get us close to people in very high places."

"But at what cost?" The General countered, "and from what I've heard, Odair has taken quite a liking to his Capital lifestyle…"

"You can't always judge things by their appearance," Cinna said.

Katniss's eyes darted around the faces of the people still arguing before her, trying to make sense of the conversation that stormed around her.

"What exactly is the point of all this?" she finally spoke up over the men who kept arguing. All the people in the room silenced and looked at her. "I mean, why did I have to rush through my breakfast for this?"

Haymitch and Cinna were both smiling while the rest of the room looked at Katniss like they couldn't believe what she'd just said.

"Ms. Everdeen, we're going over the state of the rebellion," the General clarified, almost speaking down to her.

"Which I get is scattered...and no wonder, considering how well its leaders get along. Tell me, how can you expect all the rebels to unite together when you all in this room can't?"

Haymitch took a heavy breath and Lagan stood with with jaw dropped on the screen. Plutarch chuckled and pointed at her. "So that's the girl you've been telling me about."

Haymitch nodded like he was admitting to a crime and Cinna smiled proudly, saying, "she's the one."

"Great. That's just great," Plutarch said. "We can definitely use that."

"Thank you, Ms. Everdeen," the President said with a faint smile. "Let's get to the point of all this, shall we?"

The men all nodded.

"Plutarch, why don't you take us from here?" she asked.

The man nodded ceremoniously, and stood up. Katniss got the impression that his speech was going to be a bit of a production. "As we all can see, the state of the rebellion is currently weak. Twelve has essentially been destroyed. Our best guess based on the few sources we have available is that those Districts are under extreme martial law."

"And that makes sense," Beetee offered, "considering those districts make most of the nation's food, and the Capitol knows better than most how important controlling food is to controlling people. If I had to bet, things there are very dire."

Haymitch nodded and fluttered his fingers like he wanted to skip over thinking about this part.

"Right," Plutarch said to him, showing he agreed. As Plutarch Heavensbee spoke, Katniss couldn't decide if she liked him. He spoke with airs, almost as if he delighted in all this. Not necessarily the pain and suffering, but the puzzle of it. She got the distinct impression he enjoyed knowing how things worked and how to manipulating them. But she supposed that's what made a good game-maker.

"Eight and Four have the strongest rebel units right now, and there's hope for Seven and, maybe, Five," he continued as he paced, "But unfortunately, we don't have time for the District to all get their acts together or for all the people to get tired and hungry enough to decide they want to rebel." He stopped pacing and turned to face Katniss, "so that brings us to you," he said, his hands clasped together and both pointing at her.

Gale immediately shifted and protectively moved closer to her while Katniss started at him wide eyed and agape.

"Me?" She asked, completely confused.

"Katniss," Haymitch said, turning to her and looking at her sincerely. "Do you remember what we were talking about before the raid?"

"You can't be serious!" Gale said; he didn't sound confused but incredulous.

"I'm always serious," Haymitch said, eyes narrowed on him.

Katniss turned her head from him back to Gale and then to everyone else in the room, all staring at her expectantly.

"Do you remember Cinna's plan?" Haymitch asked again.

"Yeah, the Mockingjay one," Katniss said, starting to feel uncomfortable that everyone was looking at her and still not understanding.

"Yes," President Coin said, leaning forward again and smiling genuinely for the first time, "The Mockingjay one."

"In case you all haven't noticed, she's pregnant now," Gale huffed and threw his arms angrily. "It's going to be kind of hard to suit her up and send her to the front lines of your war campaign like this."

"Hard, but not impossible," Plutarch said, considering it only practically.

Gale looked at him threateningly.

"What?" Plutarch asked, "Cinna could work something up to mask it." From behind him, Cinna nodded and agreed. "We'll probably have to use a lot of close ups—"

"No!" Gale screamed. "She's not doing it!"

"We can guarantee she won't be in any real danger," Plutarch continued, dismissing Gale's concern and reveling in his own plan as he framed Katniss's face with a square he'd made between his two thumbs and index fingers.

"No we can't," the General said matter-of-factly.

"I said no!" Gale screamed again.

"Mr. Hawthorne," the President spoke acerbically, "I'm not sure how things work in Twelve, but here in Thirteen, women have rights. They get to make their own decisions." Her words dripped with an accusation Gale didn't like. He looked like he wanted to hit her, but he pulled his chair in and regained himself.

"Why now?" Gale finally asked with a surprisingly calm voice, "you've done without the Mockingjay this whole time, without Katniss this whole time, why do you need her now?"

"I told you this one was smart," Haymitch said with a wry laugh, slapping Gale on the back.

Gale glared at Haymitch like he might actually hit him. Katniss grabbed his hands, to calm both herself and him.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Plutarch," Haymitch nodded in his directing, giving him the floor.

"That would be because of the Quell," Plutarch said. Haymitch, Beetee, and Katniss all visibly shuddered as he said it. "You know, that's coming up at the end of the month, and this one, well, it's going to be…" He paused, looking for the right word, and said it admiringly, "sensational."

"Katniss," Cinna said, raining one hand to call her attention. She looked at him with a desperate face, trying to understand what was unfolding before her. "You know how popular you are, after the Games, and the Victory Tour, you're still well-remembered in the Capitol and the Districts, well-loved."

"Yes, but," she was almost stammering, "only because I loved Peeta."

"Yes, well, the people here still love you," Cinna said sweetly, like it should be a comfort.

"And here," Lagan Corsair said, though without any of the kindness. "They think you've gone off to help start the rebellion. There are rumors of you in all the Districts."

"So the people in the Capitol still think she's some love-sick sweetheart...who's disappeared?" Gale asked, "and in the Districts, a revolutionary fighting in the shadows?"

"Yes," several voices popped at once.

"Why would the Capitol do that? Why wouldn't they just say she's dead or paint her as a rebel defector or coward or something?"

Haymitch pointed at Gale, wagging his finger like Gale was on to something. "Why indeed. That's something Cinna and I have been wondering for a while now."

"Why?" She asked urgently, "what's happening?" Her eyes turned around the room, looking for answers. Cinna was looking down and Haymitch had covered his face in his hands. She finally made it to Gale. She could tell he'd already figured it out. No one ever had to explain how evil worked to him.

"They're going to turn that power against you." he said, putting his hand comfortingly on her leg.

"Bingo," Haymitch said.

"How? What? What are they going to do?" Katniss asked frantically.

"It's brilliant, really," Plutarch said, "I'm a bit surprised if Snow came up with it himself, though, knowing how much he hates you," he said, looking at Katniss, "he just might have," and he laughed slightly saying that.

"Just tell me what they're going to do!" she almost screamed.

"Katniss," it was President Coin speaking this time. Her tone was earnest and appealing, "they're going to hold the Quell in your honor."

Katniss didn't even know what that meant yet, but she heard Gale sharply intake his breath, knowing his mind was probably already thinking up the worst thing the Capitol could do and figuring out which is most likely.

"What does that mean? How?"

"They're going to honor you by remembering your most defining characteristic…"

Katniss looked at him so blankly he could tell she didn't know what that was. "What? You mean like my bravery? Or something?"

"No, sweetheart," Haymitch said, shaking his head and laughing slightly, "love."

"Love? Why? Because I loved Peeta?"

"And your sister," Haymitch reminded her.

"So how are they going to use love in the Quell?" Katniss honestly couldn't think of a single way the Capitol could corrupt this, but the looks everyone at the table were giving her were telling her she was wrong.

"Instead of picking a boy and girl tribute from each District this year," Plutarch explained, "there's just going to be one bowl. And in it is going to be slips with every possible pair of eligible siblings."

Katniss blanched as the color drained from her face while Gale's went red in anger. He swore violently under his breath, and Katniss didn't know if she'd ever find her voice again. She was seized with the horror of thinking of being in the arena with Prim.

"And, again in honor of you," Plutarch said like it was a true honor, "they're going to let there be two victors again this year-the winning pair of siblings."

"Of course," Gale said, understanding something Katniss hadn't yet grasped and she wasn't even sure she wanted to. "That's how they're going to divide the Districts."

Haymitch and Plutarch nodded.

He looked at her and explained, "no one is going to remember their rebel loyalties, or priorities even, when faced with saving the life of a family member."

Katniss nodded, slowly comprehending. She knew she do anything to save Prim's life in the arena, even if it meant betraying the rebellion. As she looked up to Gale, she thought he probably would too. Anybody would. And thus, she realized, the slow, hard-won bonds that had been built over the past year to bring the districts together would fall apart when they were given the opportunity to bring not only one but two of their children home from the arena. And all the people who've come to see her as a symbol of hope over the past year, a promise of life—

"They'll hate me," she said, almost too quietly to be heard.

She lifted up her eyes, heavy with tears, and saw this truth reflected in the faces staring back at her. Cinna and Beetee looked sympathetic. Haymitch's face was twisted with pity, though she was never certain it was for her. Plutarch looked bemused, clearly not troubled by the horror involved in this and preoccupied with his puzzle. The President and General looked at her expectantly, like they needed her to fix this problem, and Lagan Corsair looked at her like the probably was all her fault. Her chest suddenly felt heavy and she wasn't sure she could breath. She was stricken with the fear she'd felt when she first heard Effie Trinket call out Prim's name, imagining her dying in the Games, and the fear she'd felt when she thought she'd lose Peeta in the arena.

"Don't worry, Katniss," the President said, suddenly sounding motherly, and reaching her hand out to her from across the table. "We've got a plan. And if we can do this before they announce the Quell."

"We'll be able to stop the Capitol from smearing your name," Plutarch said, "and use your influence to help unite and inspire the Districts."

Katniss suddenly realized all the eyes on the room were on her, waiting for her to say something. But she didn't know what she was supposed to say. She'd hardly been listening to them explain their plan to prevent the Capitol from perverting her love and turning the Districts against her and each other. Instead, she was focusing on the thought that had been worming its way to the forefront of her brain since she'd first mentioned it earlier in the meeting.

"Where's Peeta?"


	25. Chapter 25

"No," she said, shaking off whatever lame distraction Haymitch was trying to throw at her. Instead, she locked him seriously with her steely eyes. "Where's Peeta? Why isn't he here?"

"Katniss…"

She didn't even register who said that to her. Instead, she was swimming in guilt for having not thought of him sooner. She supposed she'd thought he was tucked away safely in Thirteen somewhere. She hadn't really had the chance to run into him yet. But she did have the chance to ask about him—and she didn't. That should have been the second thing she asked Haymitch on the hovercraft, after asking about her family. But she didn't. During the course of the meeting, as they talked about the most important figures in the rebellion, she should have wondered why he wasn't there, but she didn't. Now, it was all she could think:

"Why isn't he here?" She roared, fighting back tears. "You said all the important people in the rebellion were here…and if I'm important, then so is he! Haymitch!" she implored, looking to her mentor, tears finally falling down her cheeks, "Cinna?" His name came out more like a whine. Cinna was looking down at his feet on the telescreen. "What happened to him?" She almost barked, demanding he look at her, and trying not to fear the worst.

"Alright, calm down now, sweetheart, you don't have to go getting all…hormonal on us…" Haymitch tried to sooth, reaching out to her, but she harshly swatted him away.

"What did you let happen to him!? You were supposed to protect us! Where's Peeta? Where's—"

"He's in the Capitol, Katniss," Cinna said, calmly, coolly, and holding her stare.

"What? What's he doing there!?" she asked, wiping the tears off her face, "is he a prisoner? Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Haymitch told her, scooting closer and forcing her to look at him. "Look, he…he volunteered to go. Things…things got a little hairy when you first went missing. We weren't sure how the Capitol was going to spin it…we didn't know if they had captured you…so Peeta…he decided to go on this…"

"Publicity tour," Plutarch filled in.

"Or sorts," Haymitch grumbled, sounding slightly annoyed.

"It was brilliant, really," Plutarch added, as if that made it better.

"What?" Katniss didn't understand.

"To make sure everyone remembered you as the sweet girl he loved who'd tragically gone missing," Plutarch finished with a mock-romantic tone, "to counter any Capitol propaganda that might try to paint you as a rebel defector, which, is what we figured they'd do. He immediately reached out to Caesar and other publicity outlets, did interviews, made appearances assuring everyone that you'd never defect, weren't a rebel, and probably needed help."

"What?" Katniss said, sounding outraged, "why would he do that?"

"To protect you," Haymitch said flatly.

"And you let him?"

"He didn't exactly ask my permission." Haymitch said, accusing her more than Peeta.

Katniss started calming down. Someone had gotten her a glass of water and some tissues which she took and mutter thanks incoherently and indirectly. "So he's okay?"

"Yeah," Haymitch, though she couldn't help but notice he didn't sound one bit happy about it.

Katniss tried to let his words calm her, but she couldn't help but notice a certain stiffness in the room. "What's a matter then?"

"In Peeta's attempt to protect you," President Coin said sounded slightly agitated, "he suggested rebels might have captured you, hurt you. It painted the idea of a rebellion in a very bad light."

"So? I'm pretty sure everyone in the Capitol was already against the idea of a rebellion."

"The Capitol wasn't the only one watching," Coin said matter-of-factly, straightening taller as she spoke. Katniss got the distinct impression that she believed Peeta had hurt her effort, and that she didn't appreciate her challenge.

"Okay," Katniss tried to sound more appealing, "I mean, how much damage could he have done anyway? Lagan said that the rebels believe I'm off helping them."

"Yeah," Lagan corrected, "but only those already committed."

"And looking for some reason to have hope," Haymitch grumbled like they were stupid to do so.

"But Peeta's comments have done a lot to weaken the hope you initially sparked," Coin said, folding her hands in front of her.

"Okay," Katniss said, "Well I'm here now, I can…re-inspire them."

Haymitch laughed gruffly and Gale tensed like he didn't like that idea.

"What?" she eyed him accusingly. "I did it without even trying before. So imagine what I can do if I try?"

The President smiled approvingly and General Pierce nodded.

"And plus, now that I'm back, we can tell Peeta to stop. He can work with us and say he was forced to lie or something. Make the Capitol look even more horrible—"

Haymitch's face disappeared behind his hands, "that's not likely to happen."

"Why not?" Katniss's voice was suddenly on edge.

"Peeta moved to the Capitol permanently," Cinna said seriously, meeting her eyes, "with his whole family."

"So? We'll get them out."

"Kantiss," Haymitch said uncharacteristically addressing her by her first name. She suddenly realized how haggard he looked. Haymitch always looked awful, but Katniss realized for the first time that he looked like something was actually weighing on him. "We haven't heard from him in a while."

"What does that mean?" Terror rose in her voice.

"He was working with me," Cinna said, "when he first arrived. Made a game plan, he stayed in contact. But he hasn't contacted me recently, or returned my calls..."

"But you said he's okay!" She roared at Haymitch, suddenly fearing the Capitol had done something horrible to Peeta all because he tried to save her.

"He is!" Haymitch responded, eyes darting up to hers, almost challenging.

"He is," Plutarch echoed, though in a much more mellow tone as he inspected his nails. "In fact, I saw him at a party last Tuesday."

"What?" Katniss wasn't expecting to hear that and was having problems processing all that information.

"He looked like a doll," Plutarch almost cooed. "And quite chummy. He seems to be making friends."

"Katniss," Haymitch addressed her again, and this time, more gravely. "When the Capitol started bearing down on Twelve…Peeta said…" he shook his head, "he's the reason most of the people agreed to leave…submitted to the Capitol."

Katniss look said she didn't understand what he meant.

"He said that Twelve deserved its punishment…that—"

"He's probably only doing that to protect himself, his family!"

"Maybe," Haymitch admitted, but his tone implied like that excuse wasn't enough. But Katniss couldn't believe Peeta would ever say anything truly horrible.

"So we have to get them out!" Her eyes turned around the room, but no one looked like they agreed with her.

"Ms. Everdeen," the President began coolly.

"We have to!" she interrupted desperately. "What do you think will happen to him if I'm the Mockingjay?"

"I, for one, don't particularly care," Lagan said in the background, raising his hand to signal attention.

Her eyes shot fire at him. "I'll make him look like a liar…"

"Well, maybe he shouldn't have lied then," Lagan mumbled underneath her.

"…they could hurt him!"

"Well, maybe he shouldn't have sided with them either," Lagan said snidely.

"He wasn't siding," Katniss protested, "he was just trying to help me!" Tears were filling her eyes, she felt like she was swimming in guilt. "We have to save him!" She looked desperately to Haymitch and Cinna, unable to read either's expression. "You know what the Capitol will do to him!"

"You know, some things are a bit more important than your boyfriend, princess" Lagan chided.

"Hey," Gale said defensively.

Lagan just shook his head like he couldn't believe what he was listening to. "I loved Caravel like a brother, but I wasn't about to jeopardize the rebellion just to save his life. And he wouldn't have wanted me to!"

"But Peeta's not a rebel! He doesn't want to die for this!"

"All the more reason to let the Capitol keep him," Lagan spat. "If he's not with us, then he's with them." Tears started spilling out of Katniss's eyes. "And you guys think this will save the rebellion? We're screwed!"

Gale looked at Lagan Corsair threatening, but Haymitch spoke first. "Easy now, boy," his voice cut, "she's the only person in this room and in this rebellion who's managed to stand up to the Capitol and live."

Beetee and Cinna muttered in agreement.

"Fine," Lagan said unhappily, "I'm just saying, some things are more important than one boy."

"I agree," the President said evenly, as if something had been fairly decided. "Our most pressing issue is getting the Mockingjay out before the Quell announcement weakens our base any more. We've only got a month, so we—"

"I won't be the Mockingjay if you don't save Peeta."

The President next snapped in Katniss's direction, but if she had any emotion, she hid it expertly. Plutarch looked her up and down and chuckled, impressed at her gusto while Lagan threw his hands up and swore. Cinna just stared at her sympathetically, as did Beetee, though she got the impression his sympathy was for an entirely different reason—Cinna because she was in pain, and Beetee because he thought she was making a mistake. The General looked like he'd just made up his mind not to like her, and Haymitch almost looked like he might snap.

She looked at them all as bravely as she could and spoke resolutely. "I'm not going to let anything happen to him. Not when he risked his life to try and help me. Peeta and I are a team."

Beetee straightened himself as if it'd help his authority, "Perhaps you understand how sensitive out timetable is…"

The President cut him off. "Ms. Everdeen," Coin began, looking Katniss straight in the eyes, "that's not a top priority. I understand how much you care about the boy, but we—"

"If you don't do everything you can to get Peeta out—"

"What?" Coin demanded, her tone finally flashing. "You don't get to make demands here. The future of an entire nation is in the balance…"

"A future I can ensure, right? By being the Mockingjay?" Katniss flexed. She could tell by the way Coin looked that she'd just matched her bet.

"Katniss…" Gale began, his tone almost a warning as he registered the severity of her stakes.

"No," she dismissed him, "I'm done being bullied by presidents." Several in the room flinched at her insulting comparison to Snow, but power had flooded her and she wasn't afraid. "So I'll be your Mockingjay. I'll inspire the people. I'll incite the rebellion." For a brief moment, the room collectively seemed to exhale relief. But then Katniss continued, "but every time I'm on camera, every time someone is listening to me, I'll tell them how the Capitol forced Peeta. How they used him…" But Katniss realized this wouldn't be enough to save him, and she knew there was only one way they'd ever had any power—by being in love. "I'll tell the world that I still love Peeta…and that this is his baby…I'll remind everyone that it's not only possible to rebel, but possible to have hope for a new future. And that's what Peeta and I will represent. I'll tie the success of the Districts working together to the success of us being together until all of Panem not only wants us together, but won't even be able to imagine a future without us."

Katniss took deep breaths, hardly aware of what she just said. And as she came down from her high, she looked around her. Coin didn't break her gaze, and merely nodded slightly when she finished. Plutarch wore the look of pure delight while Haymitch looked exasperated. General Pierce glared at her, clearly registering her as a threat, and Beetee looked vaguely concerned, though Katniss couldn't tell if it was for herself of him.

"Those are your terms?" Coins said, her even tone returned as she surveyed Katniss and the others.

"Yes," Katniss said definitely. "I'll be your Mockingjay, but only with Peeta."

"Well, okay then, I think that settles it," Coin said, looking down at the papers before her and organizing them. "Plutarch," she said with a slight smile, "we have our Mockingjay."

"Yes we do," he said, drinking the whole spectacle in.

"I want the first propo drafted by tonight and filmed tomorrow. Beetee, can you secure channels to each of the Districts by then?"

"I can do it by tonight, Ms. President."

"Wonderful," she said officially, "Let's plan to air the first one this weekend. "Lagan, can you ask the other rebel leads you have contact with to encourage the spread of any rumors or reports of the Mockingjay they've heard."

"Sure," he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Cinna, you'll need to reach out to Mellark. You can work with General Pierce to draft a plan for extracting him."

"And his family," Katniss added powerfully.

"And his family," the President agreed.

Both men nodded.

"Haymitch…"

"Yeah, you want me to keep the girl in line, make sure she cooperates…" he said wearily.

"Not at all," Coin. The pleasant tone more than the surprise jolted him to look at her. "I want you to get Eight back on track. I trust Ms. Everdeen will keep up her part of the bargain."

"As long as you keep up yours," Katniss said.

"Oh, Ms. Everdeen, I can personally assure that you and Peeta will get to be together."

Katniss relaxed for the first time, relieved.

"If you perform satisfactorily, we'll bring him here," Coin said, her face breaking into a satisfied smile, "and if not, I'll turn you over to the Capitol myself."

Katniss felt like the air had suddenly been ripped out from inside her as the implications of Coin's statement sunk it.

"Are we all understood?" Coin said, standing up.

The men in the room nodded as Katniss frantically searched for something to say. But even if she'd known what she could say, she did have the power to do it.

"Wonderful. Thank you all so much for your time." Her eyes held on Katniss for a moment longer than they did the rest as she surveyed the room before walking out.

The rest of the men followed shortly after arranging times to collaborate. Katniss hardly registered their departures, and before she knew it, she was alone in the room with only Haymitch and Gale.

Gale had hardly moved, or even breathed, in the past several minutes. Haymitch looked him up and down and noticed. "Well, I guess I'll leave you two to it," he said, shaking his head as she shuffled out, flask already at his lips.

Katniss tried to find her voice, wanting to ask Haymitch if Coin would seriously turn her over to the Capitol, if she should be afraid, but he was gone by the time she'd formulated the questions.

Katniss finally looked to Gale, wanting to sink into him for the comfort and support she needed, but as she turned to look, she realized he was sitting rigidly beside her. His hands were white knuckled, gripping his chair. She followed his tense arms up to his eyes, and she could almost feel the space around her shrink, like the air got tighter, yet somehow, as it did, Gale seemed farther way, and she wasn't sure if she tried to reach out and touch him, if she'd be able to, though the look in his eyes told her not to dare trying.

"Gale," she reached out to him softly, but he moved to get up. "Gale?"

"Not now, Katniss," he said tersely. Gale's glare grew more severe, but he didn't say a thing. He finally shook he head and glanced at his communicuff. "I've got to go to training" he said turning to leave.

She reached out to him, but he sharply pulled away and the look he gave her was full of warning.

"Don't," he said almost like a threat. Katniss shrunk back, suddenly afraid.

"Are you…" But she realized that was the wrong question. "Why are you angry?" He remained silent as she searched him. "Come on, Gale," she said softly, "you've always been able to tell me why you're angry," she smiled, remembering how many hours he used to spend ranting about the Capitol.

"Well, Katniss," he said through clenched teeth, "that's because I've never been mad at you before."

Her eyes probed his, half in horror and half in confusion as she tried to understand. The stiff stillness about him—a strange calmness, like the one at the center of a storm, and Katniss suddenly wondered what world was being destroyed around him—and then she realized: theirs.

"Are you really that mad about me being the Mockingjay? You know I have to, right? And I won't do anything to hurt the baby…"

Gale's look only grew more severe.

"Are you mad about…Peeta?" She almost wanted to laugh, the idea was so ridiculous to her. Gale knew she loved him by now, they was no way he could still be jealous. "He's in danger in the Capitol, and after everything he's done for me, I have to save his life."

"But you didn't have to throw mine away to do it!"

"What?"

"Come on, Katniss, did you even stop and think? About anything other than how you could save Peeta's life?" He added that last part insultingly. "What the hell do you think will happen if you go on air telling the world that you're carrying Peeta's baby."

 _Oh,_ Katniss thought, she'd almost forgotten she'd said that part, she was so worked up when she did. "What does it matter what the world thinks? They also think I'm in love with Peeta, but that hasn't stopped me from being with you."

Gale couldn't believe how stupid she was, and he had to stop himself from saying so. "You think we can be together…live together…raise a child together that world believes is _his_?" Gale's voice almost broke as he said it. And Katniss slowly began to realize the implications of everything she'd said.

"Gale, let's talk about this," she implored him.

"No, Katniss, not now," he said, turning to walk to the door.

"Gale," she tried to sound sweeter.

"I said not now!" he almost roared, turning back to look at her for only a second, each word falling so hard it hurt.

As soon as he left the room, Katniss crumbled to the floor, barely able to hold one to the table as she went down. She felt weak and dizzy and wasn't sure she could breath.

 _What did I just do?_ She asked herself, starting to hyperventilate as she began to sob. _What did I just do?_


	26. Chapter 26

"Excuse me, are you part of the Energy Advisory Board?"

Katniss almost jumped at the voice that shook her. "What?" She said, looking up and wiping away her tears.

"The Energy Advisory Board…for the meeting?"

"Oh," Katniss said, noticing the young woman at the door was looking at her strangely. "Um, no, no."

"There's a meeting in here at two."

Katniss started at her communicuff. It read 1:42. She suddenly realized she'd spent almost two hours in the room crying. She pulled herself up from the table, and tried to mumble something coherent as she left.

She made her way back to her room in a daze, hardly able to think her thoughts hurt her so much. She felt like something was crushing her heart, and focused on her breathing so she wouldn't cry in the corridor, but tears were already streaming down her face as she made it to her door. She collapsed when she made it inside and began weeping with her whole body.

_How could I have done that to Gale? How could I have threatened to take away his baby? How could I have promised that to the President of Thirteen?_

Her questions continuously assaulted her, each leading her to conclusions that were of less comfort. Before, when she was upset or fearful, the thought that Gale had her back, that Gale was her partner, that he would be a great father had always comforted her. And she'd just destroyed all that—and felt it was all her fault.

She was in the corner crying still, curled into a ball, when someone knocked on the door. Katniss didn't know how long they'd been knocking when it slowly pushed open. Her heart suddenly rose, hoping it was Gale, and simultaneously fell, afraid it was. She felt relief when her mother walked in.

"Oh my god, Katniss," she panicked, "are you okay?" She immediately rushed over to her, hand on her stomach, worried about the baby, and looking for blood.

Katniss shook her head but couldn't say anything as she started hyperventilating.

"Katniss, you need to calm down," her mom said, not seeing any blood and feeling her stomach was fine, she pulled Katniss upward into a sitting position and rubbed her back, "just breathe, baby, breathe."

Slowly, squeezing her mother's hand, Katniss was able to comply. After several minutes, the air she gulped finally seemed to reach her lungs.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" she asked after a few minutes passed and Katniss seemed to regain her breath. But she still couldn't speak, though she wasn't sure if she couldn't physically say it or actually admit to what she'd done. Katniss wasn't sure she wanted her mother to know. She also wasn't sure she wanted to turn to her mother for support, but she had to admit, the circles she was tracing on her back and the way she was holding her made her feel better. Several more minutes passed, and Katniss finally stopped crying. "Let's move you somewhere more comfortable, all right?" She said, taking her daughter's face in her hands. Katniss could only nod and allowed her mom to guide her into a chair. Her mom got her some tissues and a glass of water. "Here," she said, and Katniss blew her nose repeatedly and drank the water. "Have you eaten?" Katniss shook her head. Her mom sighed, and Katniss knew she was thinking about how important it was for her to eat regularly.

"I don't want…" she stammered, hardly finding her voice, "I can't go to the cafeteria."

Her mom considered her for a moment and then nodded. "Alright, dear, I can have something delivered."

"You can?" Katniss didn't know that was possible.

"It's only for patients who aren't physically able to go to the cafeteria, but I'll write you a prescription." Her mom opened her bag and pulled out a small, electronic device and started pressing buttons. "There," she said having finished, "I won't be able to get away with this too often, but something should be delivered within half an hour."

"Thanks," Katniss said.

Her mom only nodded and walked back over to her. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong now?"

Katniss tried to say no, but she couldn't. Her eyes burned with the want to tear, but she wasn't sure she had any more left. As her mom sat next to her, putting her arms around her shoulders, Katniss finally croaked because she couldn't hold it in any longer, "Gale's mad at me."

"Oh, baby, you know he has a temper. But Gale loves you—"

"No, mom, it's really bad," Katniss started crying again and her mom realized something seriously was wrong. "I...I…" she struggled to say this part, "I said I'd say the baby was Peeta's."

Her mom's breath was sharp. Anise Everdeen knew how important family was to Gale, she knew how much he'd sacrificed to keep everyone he loved safe, and she also knew he'd die to protect them. She didn't know what he'd do about this, but she was certain his anger was immense.

Part of Anise wanted to know why her daughter would say this, but she knew Katniss would only do it if she had to, and decided that wasn't important; right now, she focused on making her daughter feel better.

"Oh, baby, it'll be okay."

"Mom," Katniss whimpered, "I think he hates me."

"No, dear, no. Gale could never hate you. You do what you do to protect people, no one can hate you for that."

"No…not this time, mom," she sobbed, "it's different."

"He's been angry before. He'll come around."

"No…" she sobbed again, grabbing another tissue.

"Katniss, when you…during the Games, Rory and Prim talked about signing up for tesserae, to help out," Anise chose her words carefully so that her daughter wouldn't feel any worse for everything Gale'd done for them. "When Gale found out," her mom's sigh was almost a whistle, "he…well, Prim came home crying and he only said one word to her… _later_." Katniss wiped her eyes, pulled into her mother's story. "And…Rory…he refused to talk to Gale for a month after what he'd said. Hazelle was at her wits end with both of them. But the next day, Gale came over and asked if Prim she wanted to learn how to hunt...said he was willing to teach her and Rory. He'd realized he needed help, and he realized that was all they were trying to do. And everything's fine now."

Katniss nodded, her tears having stopped, and tried to process this knowledge. She tried to let this story give her hope, but it wasn't enough to assuage all the guilt that was gnawing at her.

"But I wasn't trying to help Gale, mom, I was trying to help…." Katniss hated herself as she said it, "Peeta."

Her mom considered that fact silently for a moment. She remembered another time Gale'd been angry: the night Katniss kissed Peeta in the cave. He'd gotten up so silently from the room where she, Prim, and the Hawthornes were watching the Games, that no one hardly noticed until the door slammed violently. Anise remembered how Prim'd screamed in fright and how Hazelle'd gotten up to go check on him, coming back only a moment later because he'd already disappeared. He didn't come home until the next day after work.

The knock on the door almost startled Anise now. She quickly got up and answered it.

"Anise Everdeen?" She nodded, he handed her another digital device, which her mom pressed her thumb to.

"No one ever says please or thank you her," she muttered to herself as she closed the door and walked over to Katniss. "Here you go, baby. Why don't you try and eat." She pulled out a sandwich and container of applesauce from the bag. "Here," she said, "let's start with this," she opened the applesauce and handed Katniss the spoon.

Katniss wasn't sure she'd be able to eat, but when the food hit her tongue, she realized how hungry she was.

"Looks like you got a nut-butter sandwich," her mom said, her voice sounding slightly brighter, trying to cheer up Katniss and change the subject.

"Nut-butter?"

"Yeah, it's a paste they make from groundnuts here. The bulk of their food grows underground." Katniss nodded, peeling open the sandwich and looking in. The bread kind of looked like it'd been slathered with mud. "It's not that bad," her mom said with a smile. Katniss just nodded and took a bite. It did taste kind of sweet, but it was thick and dry in her mouth. She imagined this was what eating mud was also like. Her mom pushed the juice that'd also been in her bag to her. "They serve a lot of root vegetables here too…so you might finally have to develop a taste for beets."

"I hate beets," Katniss said with disgust.

"Oh, I know," her mom said.

Katniss crooked her head curiously, a bit surprised her mom had noticed any of her food preferences.

"When you were four, it was one of the worst winters we'd ever had," her mom began to explain. "It came early, killing a lot of the crops, and it lasted long," her mom shook her head, remembering, "after a while, the only crop we had left was beets. I tried so hard to get you to eat it, so many different recipes, but all you'd do is spit it up. I got so worried you'd starve…"

Katniss was slightly surprised. If it'd been any other time, she would have laughed at the irony of her mother worrying about her starving and threw it in her face. But today, she didn't.

"I was nursing Prim at the time, and I finally tried nursing you again too," her mom said, meeting her daughter's eyes with a faint smile.

"You did?" Katniss was shocked.

"Yeah," she laughed. "You bit me. But it worked." Her mom let out a deep breath as she remembered heavy things, "that was the winter your father decided to go out and hunt."

"He did?" Katniss was suddenly excited to hear a story about her father.

"Oh yeah," her mom said in a less excited tone, "that was one of our biggest fights."

Katniss gulped hard, the sandwich sticking in her throat as did the detail. Neither seemed to settle right. "Why?"

"Because I didn't want him to go out and do something illegal that could get him killed," her mom said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I was terrified, Prim'd just been born, what if he got caught? Or hurt?"

"What happened?" Katniss asked.

"We fought. A lot." Katniss's mom had moved behind her and was running her hands through her daughter's hair, gently pulling apart the tangles. Katniss suddenly remembered how they'd gotten there…with Gale in the morning…and she started to feel sobs starting to strangle her. She pushed her mind elsewhere and asked her mom what happened. "I wanted to be a wet-nurse for the Mayor's family, but your father wouldn't have it. He was such a proud man," her mom sighed deeply.

"How'd he get you to agree to let him go hunt?"

"He didn't," her mom answered, gently working on another tangle, "he just went ahead and did it anyway."

Katniss was stunned. Every memory of her father was a positive one, she remembered him laughing, singing, playing with her and her sister, doting on her mother. "He did?" said in half horror, half disbelief.

"He felt it was what he had to do. When he asked me to marry him, he promised me I'd never have to work. Not that I cared, but it was such a point of pride for him. I eventually understood that." Her mom's voice suddenly grew softer. "Couples sometimes fight, Katniss. But that wasn't our first fight, and it certainly wasn't our last."

"Really?" Katniss never remembered her parents fighting.

"Oh, if you think I was upset about him going out into the woods, how do you think I reacted when he took you out there?"

Katniss couldn't find any words. She'd always assumed her mother hadn't cared. "What happened?"

"We fought. Even worse than the first time. But then we made up. And it was hard for me to stay upset when you were so eager to go with him," she said, laughing softly as she twisted Katniss's hair into braids she then folded on her head. Katniss smiled too, remembering how she desperately wanted to go out with her father, and also how nice it felt now to have her mom playing with her hair. "Fighting with someone doesn't stop you from loving them," she said, pulling a few pins out of her own hair to keep her daughter's in place. "There," she said, walking around to see Katniss's face. "Now don't you look beautiful?" She smiled and Katniss did too.

"So you guys made up?"

"Of course we did. Sometimes he got me to agree with him, other times, I got him to agree with me, but in the end, we always understood."

"Yeah?" Katniss said, very interested in her parents' relationship dynamic.

"Oh yes. I got him to quit smoking when I was pregnant with you."

"What?" Katniss could hardly imagine her father smoking.

"Your father loved his pipe," she said with a smile that was traced with something Katniss couldn't quite place. "He got me to let him hunt. I got him to stop teaching you forbidden songs. Love is often an act of compromise."

Katniss didn't have the heart to tell her mom that her father had continued teaching her those songs when they were out in the woods. She wondered what that meant about her father. Relationships were suddenly so much more complicated than she'd ever realized. She just smiled back at her mom who was looking at her like everything would be alright.

"No one's perfect, Katniss. Your father wasn't, and I'm certainly not," she stopped a second as she said that, and then reached out to her daughter, and Katniss understood that she wasn't just talking about her relationship with her dad. "But you don't have to be perfect to be loved. And when you love someone, you get through all the rest," she paused again, bring her eyes to her daughter's. This was the closest they'd ever come to discussing her mother's depression after her father died. For the first time, Katniss wondered if she should forgive her mother...if she even could. She wondered if she had to forgive her mother's flaws if she wanted Gale to forgive hers. Her mom looked at her like she wanted her to say something. But Katniss didn't know what to say. So her mom looked away, and said, "your father and I always did. And so will you and Gale."

Katniss nodded, trying really hard to believe it as she untangled herself from her thoughts.

Her mom reached out for her shoulder. "Are you feeling any better now?"

Katniss considered the question for a moment, and while she felt dread and guilt when it came to Gale, she wasn't drowning in it like she was before. She'd never have thought it possible, but somehow, he mother had given her a bit of hope. "Yeah," she said deciding to return the favor, "a little."

Her mom nodded and smiled, "and how's the little one?" She moved her hand, and then hesitated, as if waiting for permission to touch her daughter's belly. Katniss cradled her stomach and let her mother know it was okay for her to touch. "That's an active baby," she said brightly, "just like you."

"Really?" Katniss said, focusing on the warmth of her mother's touch and.

"Yeah. You kept me up some nights."

Katniss had never thought of it, but she realized that she had once been inside her mother like this. It was a strange thought.

"Do you want to come back to my room and see Prim?" Her mom asked, glancing at her communicuff. "She's probably getting off school now, and she'd love to see you." She thought seeing her sister might cheer Katniss up. "And, if you're there, she might not go out with her friends," her mom said in a tone thick with annoyance.

"Don't like her friends?" Katniss said, slightly amused.

"Oh, that boy Torry is alright. But there's this girl called Pigeon, and she's trouble."

"Sometimes trouble is fun," Katniss smiled, remembering how the happiest times of her life had always technically been when she was breaking the law.

Her mom just shook her head, not in the least bit surprised that her eldest daughter had said that. "Not here," she said gravely.

The delight fell from Katniss's voice and she suddenly recalled Coin's attitude that morning and everything she'd threatened her with…and then done to Gale. She had to make that right.

"Thanks, but, I want to be here when Gale gets back."

Her mom nodded, perfectly understanding. "Alright, honey." She brought her hands up to Katniss's cheek, caressing it for a moment and then leaning in to kiss her daughter on the forehead.

Katniss had never realized how good that would feel. And she considered reaching out to her mother, holding on to her so she wouldn't leave, and telling her this, but when she opened her eyes and was ready to, her mom had already left.

Katniss tried to keep herself composed as she waited for Gale to come back. She found every scrap of hope she could and clung on to it. She made herself think long and hard about what she wanted to say, what she needed to say, and kept herself from falling into despair again.

She started pacing as she rehearsed...She thought about how she could explain herself—she never stopped to think about the consequences of her actions. She just did whatever she needed to do to save someone, and dealt with the rest later. That's what she did when she volunteered for Prim, that's what she did when she helped Rue, that's what she did when she suggested eating the berries, and that's what she did when she hijacked the hovercraft and saved Gale...

She could also tell him how it didn't occur to her that what she said publicly would affect her real life. She'd let the public believe that she'd been in love with Peeta for almost a year now, and hadn't stopped her from actually loving Gale. It was bad, sure, but certainly Gale could see where she was coming from? Why she hadn't realized the full implications of what she'd said? Why she didn't stop to think it really mattered?

And, to top it all off, President Coin was practically challenging her, making her feel powerless. After everything Snow'd done to her, Katniss had to stand her ground, had to show that she couldn't just be pushed around and turned into another puppet for those in power. Maybe if she could figure out how to explain all that, Gale'd have to understand why she reacted that way...see it really wasn't so bad… _Wouldn't he?_

The clench of doubt strangled her heart. Katniss had never felt so insecure in her life.

She kept pacing and thinking about how else she could explain this...But then she realized Gale didn't need to hear her excuses. He needed to hear that she was sorry, and she decided to start with that. She'd tell him how sorry she was, and how much she loved him, and that she'd do whatever she had to to make sure he knew that…and then everything will be okay.

Katniss was trying to figure out how exactly she'd do that when Gale walked in the door. She fought her initial impulse to throw her arms around him. Instead, she quickly wiped her face and waited for him to say something. But he didn't, he just walked over to the small cabinet and pulled out a new shirt. He barely looked at her.

"Gale," she began softly, like a hello.

"Katniss," his tone was still harsh.

"Can we talk?" She asked tentatively.

"Not now," he said, still not looking up.

Katniss let out a sigh mixed with exasperation and pain. Gale finally looked up at her. "You know I'm sorry, right?" She wanted to make sure.

Gale'd been thinking Katniss was a lot of things that morning...selfish, stupid, quite possibly heartless or insane...he wasn't sure he was ready to move on to her being sorry yet. "That doesn't exactly make anything better, does it?" he said gruffly.

Tears started to well in her eyes, and she felt like the small scrap of hope that she'd been clinging to was getting away from her. Was he talking about her terms with the President? Or the things between them?

"If you could just understand what I was thinking…"

"Damn it, Katniss, if you were thinking," he said spitefully, resentfully, "I'm not sure I want to."

"I…" she tried not to whimper, but she was beginning to believe he did think the worst of her. "You know I didn't mean to…"

Gale spun to look at her and cut her off, "what? To turn our child… _my child_ … into a political pawn? To throw my life away? All to save _Peeta_!?" His voice snapped as he threw the cabinet door shut violently. "'Cause that's what you did, Kantiss, without hesitation."

She jumped back in fright. The tears that were welling in her eyes started to fall.

"Look," he said a bit softer, regaining himself, "I've been in training all morning, I haven't had a chance to sit or eat or shower or even think—"

"I understand," she said quickly, wanting him to know that she respected his needs. "I can leave, if you want me to. Give you some time and space?" She asked as thoughtfully as she could.

"I don't care what you do, Katniss," Gale said off-handedly as he walked into the bathroom, turned on the water, and slammed the door.

He couldn't have picked crueler words, and Katniss felt like she'd just been stabbed in the heart. She wanted to know if she should wait for him, or if he'd come get her when he was ready to talk. She wanted some sign that they could work through this, that he still cared about her and they could make up. But instead, he left her with nothing. He didn't care. Another wave of panic began to seize her as she fell through all her uncertainties and they tightened around her like a noose. She fled the room while she could still function.

By the time she reached her mother's door, Katniss was barely coherent. She pounded on the door and practically fell onto her mother when she opened it. Anise was seriously beginning to think that Gale had said something incredibly cruel to Katniss, in which case, she was considering having a word with him herself. Whatever Katniss had done, she didn't deserve this. Her mom dragged her to her bed and let bawl freely, Katniss's head in her lap, clinging to her legs, as her mother rubbed her back and tried comfort her.

It didn't work.

Gale had been the one thing that kept her stable over the past year. When she first returned, damaged and afraid from the Games, his friendship held her together. When she went on the Victory Tour, saving his life motivated her get through it. When she joined the rebellion, his courage inspired her and gave her hope. When she found out she was pregnant, his love made her think they could make it. She risked her life to save his when the Capitol took him because she knew she wouldn't have one without him in it.

Now all that was gone. And she thought it was her fault. Katniss was spiraling. Every horror and pain and fear that Gale's presence had been able to keep away was suddenly assaulting her.

Anise couldn't get a coherent thing out of her daughter. Every time she tried to ask Katniss a question, she just sobbed more and buried her face deeper. Soon, Katniss started hyperventilating again, as if she was choking on air.

Anise tried to get Katniss to sit up, which she was barely able to do, and nothing she said was able to calm Katniss down. She kept insisting how Gale must hate her, how he'd never forgive her, how she'd never be happy again, and how it was all her fault.

"Katniss, I need you to breath, baby, take a deep breath, and exhale. Remember, just like we did when you had your nightmares after the Games? You can do this, sweetie, I know you can."

Katniss tried, but she continued choking on the tears, spit, and snot her body was producing, and it only made things worse. She was starting to feel dizzy and nauseous, and a pain shot through her stomach.

"Here, honey, do it with me," her mom held Katniss in front of her so she could feel her breaths, "deep breath in, and out."

Katniss tried, but she couldn't gain a hold on her body, almost convulsing, when Prim walked in the door. Her eyes widened with concern.

"Oh my god, Katniss, what's wrong?" she flew to her sister's side.

"She's upset," her mom said, rubbing Katniss's back again, and trying to sound calm. "She and Gale are just having a fight."

Prim got up and surveyed the scene, nodding slightly and knowing that it wasn't some small fight that caused this.

Anise pointed to the sink. Prim knew what her mother wanted and immediately fetched some water and a towel.

"Drink this," her mom said to Katniss as she wiped off her face. Katniss tried to shake her head no, but her mother didn't let her. "You have to stay hydrated, Katniss," she said more firmly.

Prim had never seen her sister this upset before, not even when she awoke screaming from her nightmares after the Games. She stared on vaguely in horror as her mom kept trying to get her to drink. Prim desperately wanted to know what was going on, how she could help, but she didn't know how, so she just sat down next to her sister, wrapping her arm around hers, and tried helped her mom try to calm her.

"It'll be okay, Katniss," she assured her. "Gale loves you. He loves you more than—"

"Not anymore," Katniss sobbed. "I've ruined everything."

Anise looked at Prim, shaking her head to indicate that she shouldn't bring up anything more about Gale, and Prim nodded, understanding.

"Here, you'll feel better if you drink this," Prim said, taking the glass from her mother's hands and raising it to her sister's lips. "Just a little bit."

Katniss finally sipped some water, but couldn't swallow and tried to spit it out.

"Katniss," her mom said more sternly now, taking Katniss's face.

"I can't, mom," she whimpered, almost shaking, "I can't. It hurts."

"What hurts?" Her mom asked, starting to really get alarmed.

"Everything."

Anise went into full doctor mode and finally moved Katniss to lie down on her side. Katniss tried to curl up into a ball, but her mother wouldn't let her.

"Prim, I need you to run down to the clinic and get me one of the emergency inhalers."

Prim realized her mom was using the same tone she used when there was an emergency. Her eyes filled with horror as she looked at her struggling sister. "Will she be okay?"

"She'll be fine once she starts breathing again. Grab the med-pad from my bag. You know how to fill out a prescription for it, right?" Prim nodded. "Good."

Anise turned back to her oldest daughter, "Katniss, I need you to try and calm down or you're going to have a panic attack."

Prim stood rooted in terror as her mother said that. She hadn't been this afraid for her sister since the Games. And maybe not even then.

"It's all my fault, mom," she sobbed desperately amid whimpers. "He hates me…he said…"

"Now, Prim," Anise commanded. "Katniss, I need you to focus on breathing…"

Prim nodded even though no one was looking at her and ran out the door.


	27. Chapter 27

Gale was angrier that morning than he'd possibly ever been. It took every ounce of strength he had not to lose it during the meeting, and even more to not do so after. He couldn't believe what Katniss had done…It seriously made him question everything about her…and them.

He threw himself into the hard, physical training they put him through afterward. Running faster and harder than he ever had, lifting more weights, doing more pushups, and nearly knocking out his sparring partner at one point. It wasn't until he made it to the shower that he realized what he'd put himself through, starting to feel his muscles protest and ache... _Or what Katniss put me through..._ he blamed her, starting to get angry all over again. Even switching on the cold water didn't help cool him off. _How could she? How could she?_ His heart seared in pain, as his anger flooded him, _After everything….And for Peeta!_

Gale wanted to hit something, and he was honestly glad she wasn't there when he got came out of the bathroom. He wasn't sure he'd be able to contain himself from screaming. He paced the room for a few minutes, but the limited space only increased his frustration, so he decided to go to the cafeteria and eat, even though he wasn't really hungry. But it was something to do to keep his mind occupied, and he honestly wasn't sure he'd get a chance to eat later if he wanted to.

The smell of the food wasn't particularly appealing, but it did remind him he was hungry, and he sat alone, eating slowly and trying to mull through his thoughts. He couldn't believe what she'd done, and he lost his appetite almost thinking about it, so he tried to push his anger aside and think about it more logically. He knew she wasn't thinking, that she was just trying to help, but that didn't excuse what she'd done, he told himself _. Could she really love him when she'd forgotten about him so easily?_

"Ah, Mr. Hawthorne!" A voice chimed from behind him, "So good to see you here. Do you mind if I..."

Gale looked up to see Beetee Latier asking if he could join him. He wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone, but didn't say no.

"I was hoping I could talk to you after the meeting today, but this is even better…"

Gale'd been so upset, he'd forgotten he'd told Beetee he'd talk to him. "Oh yeah, sorry about that."

Beetee folded his napkin and put it in his lap. "I can't even begin to tell you how impressed I was with your scores from the aptitude tests…"

Gale was a bit surprised a guy like Beetee would be impressed with his scores. He didn't seem like the type to care about physicality much, but then again, he had been in the Games….

"Your critical thinking and problem solving scores were some of the highest I've seen…"

"Wait," Gale was confused. "You want to talk about my academic scores?"

"Of course. I don't really care much how many pushups you can do," Beetee said with a small laugh as he cut his chicken into cubes.

"Oh." Gale wasn't expecting his. He wasn't exactly a stellar student back in Twelve.

"I'd love to take you down to my lab, show you some of the things I'm working on and see if you have any ideas…"

Gale nodded, still a bit dumbstruck with Beetee's proposal as his brain tried to sort through all this new information with his anger for Katniss still burning.

"Beetee, my man," Haymitch said excitedly, slapping Beetee briskly on the shoulder as he plopped down next to him. Neither Beetee nor Gale looked overly excited at Haymitch's arrival. "How's it going?"

As Haymitch spoke, both men darted the potent alcohol fumes that escaped his breath. "I'm well, thank you," Beetee said, straightening his napkin again and coughing politely.

"Well that's great. Just great," Haymitch said, stabbing the entire piece of chicken on his plate with his fork and bringing it to his mouth. "And you, Hawthorne, are you doing well too?"

"Not really," Gale say, but Haymitch didn't notice as he tore into his chicken.

"That's great. Me too, thanks for asking, I just spent the past three hours talking to Organdy in Eight…"

"And how'd that go?" Beetee asked.

"The talks were…I guess you could say…colorful." Haymitch pulled his flask out of his pocket and took a strong gulp. "Unpleasant's another word you could use. Pointless. Infuriating, even…"

"Oh dear," Beetee said, taking his napkin up to gently dap the side of his mouth. "That bad?"

"I mean, on the upside, I'm now pretty well versed in their profane vernacular…" He took another swig, "but that was never an area in which my vocabulary was lacking."

"What's going on with Eight?" Gale asked.

"They're not exactly cooperating," Beetee said gently.

"And by not exactly cooperating," Haymitch said almost mockingly, "he means they're about to strike out on their own."

"Can they do that?" Gale asked, alarmed.

"Course they can," Haymitch said, tearing off another chunk of chicken, "they'll all get killed, but they can certainly do it."

"They won't though," Beetee said.

"They will if they can get Four or Seven on their side."

"Did Organdy say that?" Beetee asked.

"All but," Haymitch said with another disgruntled chomp, "is it me? Or is this beef dry?"

"That beef is chicken," Beetee told him, eyeing him cautiously.

"Well, so it is," Haymitch squinted at the meat on his fork. "When are they going to have steak down here?" he sighed.

"It's a little hard to raise cattle underground," Beetee explained, in serious.

Haymitch pointed at his comrade and laughed. "This here's a smart man," Haymitch advised Gale, who simply nodded.

"Quite," Beetee said. It wasn't so much that Beetee didn't like Haymitch, but found him unsettling.

"But Four's with us, right?" Gale asked, not really in the mood for Haymitch's antics and curious about the rebellion.

Beetee cocked his head and considered. "Corsair did seem pretty upset today…"

"Corsair'll get over it," Haymitch scoffed, "he's loyal."

"But Seven?"

"Ehh," Haymitch considered, "they've got a lot of interest, but they need to get organized before they're any real force. Lucky for us, Maddock and Adze can't agree on anything, so they won't be able to agree on whether to join with Eight or not."

"Who're Mattock and Adze?"

"Hew Mattock and Slater Adze, they're squabbling over power now."

"What happened to…" Gale tried to remember the name of the man who'd been in charge of Seven."

"Lathe Mason's dead."

"They killed him too?" Gale asked in alarm, his anger for the Capitol building.

"No. Well, maybe. Hard to say. A tree fell on him. Can you believe that?" Haymitch said with disdain. "You'd a thought a logger would have known better. I mean, it's not like a falling tree can exactly sneak up on you. Especially when you're the one who cut it down." Haymitch shook his head. "So many they did set him up, but not from what we can tell."

"Seven's been pretty dysfunctional ever sense," Beetee explained.

"Yeah, Lathe was a good man…his daughter though…" Haymitch sighed again.

Gale felt vaguely like he should know who Lathe Mason's daughter was. Beetee seemed to read his confusion.

"Johanna," he explained, "She was the victor the year before Katniss and Peeta."

"Oh," Gale said, remembering the girl with the axe loosely.

"Yeah," Haymitch huffed. "Tell me, Beetee, what is it with Victors these days?"

Beetee looked at Haymitch like it wasn't just the "victors these days" who we're the problem. When he didn't respond, Haymitch just laughed.

"All they can seem to do is cause me problems. Johanna….Peeta….Katniss…." He said her name with a particular tone of disdain.

"And you're such a likeably guy," Beetee said, his tone sincere but his lips curving sarcastically.

"I know, right?"

Gale meet Beetee's eyes and smiled for the first time that day. He thought he'd like working with this guy.

"Well, hopefully we won't have to worry about any of this now that we've got our Mockingjay," Beetee said, trying to be more optimistic.

"Hmph," Haymitch snorted.

Beetee, who wasn't very familiar with Katniss, cocked his head curiously. "I mean, I know her pregnancy is less than ideal, but honestly, her plan was rather brilliant."

Gale jerked up at Beetee, "what do you mean?"

"To let the baby symbolize hope, of course."

"You mean _use_ the baby," Gale said bitterly.

Beetee looked at him like he didn't quite understand the distinction Gale was making. "Well, I suppose…but in reality, being used for hope is infinitely better than anything else a child of a Victor could hope to be used for."

"What do you mean?" Gale asked again.

"It's not exactly a coincidence that none of us have kids," Haymitch said, staring at the mashed vegetables on his plate with disgust as he scooped them on his spoon and poured them back onto his plate.

Gale tried to hide his surprise, but he'd never thought of this before.

"Yes," Beetee said straightly, but also somewhat sadly, "that child of hers is basically doomed unless, of course, this rebellion succeeds. The greatest chance to do that is giving people hope."

"But she didn't have to sacrifice the child," Gale said more vehemently than he meant to. Beetee noticed his unease.

"Sacrifice?" Beetee clearly thought Gale's word choice was reaching. "If this rebellion's going to succeed, we'll need something to motivate the people."

"How about all the Capitol's injustice!"

Beetee paused, sensing Gale's anger. "The Capitol has been unjust for years, and they don't exactly hide it. The people of Panem know. Those for whom injustice is motivation enough have already joined us," Beetee explained, "No, Mr. Hawthorne, unfortunately, when it comes to _the public_ …" that word was tinged with disdain. "Believe me, I wish it weren't the case, but if there's one thing I've learned from all my years in the Capitol, it's that things like facts and injustice don't do much to motivate the population."

Haymitch, still starting at his food, mumbled agreement.

"No, stories of oppressed masses won't change a thing. Most of Panem is already well aware of that injustice. What they need isn't a reason to fight, they've already got plenty of those, what they need is—"

"Hope," Haymitch grumbled.

"Yes. A reason to think they can win. To think something better is possible. And to be quite honest, there isn't much that symbolizes that better than a baby."

Gale couldn't believe what he was listening to. He wanted to scream at these men, tell them how stupid and wrong they were, how insane. But he couldn't. So he just swallowed his angry and tried to stomach it.

"Like I said, brilliant, really. Your cousin is certainly on to something."

Haymitch let out a slow, rumbling laugh as Gale processed these words. Beetee looked at him curiously. "He's not her cousin…"

"Oh?" Beetee asked, confused.

"He's the father," Haymitch cackled.

"Oh… _Oh_ …." Beetee said, slowly realizing, regretting how plainly he'd just discussed the child's future. "I…I didn't realize."

Gale sighed, "It's…" he didn't want to say _fine_ , but he wasn't sure what word was appropriate.

Beetee couldn't quite read Gale's emotion, but saw his concern. "Don't worry, I know it's complicated, but it's probably better this way."

"What?" Gale said, like Beetee'd just insulted him.

"Mr. Hawthorne, the entire nation believes she's in love with Peeta…"

"And, technically speaking, she is engaged to him," Haymitch added with what Gale took to be mirth.

Beetee looked at his friend and nodded, "this rebellion started in a large part because of that love…it can't just be tossed aside. Or forgotten. I realize how hard this must be—"

Gale looked at Beetee threateningly, his anger surging again, "I don't think you have any idea how fucking—"

Haymitch quickly cut Gale off, speaking both surprisingly and suddenly scarily composed, "Easy now, boy, I'd think long and careful before you tell either of us what we know about how _hard_ things are," Haymitch's eyes locked on Gale and flickered. He was suddenly reminded that this man was a killer, "because we know _a lot_ about hard."

Beetee's eyes didn't have any of Haymitch's fire, but his gaze suddenly became cold, and Gale wasn't sure which scared him more.

"So the next time you want to question either of us, and this goes for Peeta and Katniss too, try and remember first that you haven't done one damn thing in your life that that no other man in District Twelve hasn't done, and you've done it a lot less than most of them. And if you think working in the mines for 10 hours a day is hard, you think about how much easier it'd be to kill a kid, and tell me if you think blood would wash off your hands as easily as soot."

Gale gulped audibly but didn't dare look away from Haymitch until he finished.

"There aren't many who've had to do what we have. And there are far fewer who can sit and talk about it all civilized-like like we can. And Katniss just might be the only one who's come back and has still found it in her to love."

Gale nodded at Haymitch. He couldn't say anything to refute that.

"So don't make her regret she chose to love you," Haymitch added, still sounding fierce. His threat not in the least bit disguised.

As the two men stared at each other for a few more moments, neither wanting to submit to the other's stare. Gale was actually glad when Beetee finally broke the tension; he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold Haymitch.

"I'm just saying she's safer this way, as is your baby. And once the rebellion's over…"

"It won't matter because we'll all be executed," Haymitch joked.

Beetee looked at his comrade like it wasn't funny and shook his head. "Don't worry," he assured Gale, "we'll make sure she's okay."

"I'm not really sure Katniss's safety is one of Coin's priorities now," Gale said.

"He wasn't talking about Coin," Haymitch said, "he was talking about us, her fellow Victors." He and Beetee both looked at him and nodded, "we take care of each other."

Gale realized for the first time the bond they must have between them…that the rules for their world might be different. He wanted to ask them if they thought Katniss was crazy…if she was _wrong_ …for what she'd done that morning. But he was afraid of their answer, so instead he just met their eyes and nodded as if he understood.

"But speaking of our illustrious leader," Haymitch said, "here's what I really want to know, why didn't she assign Cinna to talk to Eight? They could bond over patterns and fabrics and stuff…"

"Well, I don't doubt that they'd certainly have preferred talking to him over you," Beetee said, dabbing his face again. "Though, I suspect that's true for everybody," he added, with a bit of a smile.

"You know what, Latier, you're alright. I used to think you were, you know…wimpy…or something, but you're alright."

"Why, thank you."

As the two men fell back into easy conversation as Haymitch pressed Beetee for specifics for subterranean cattle rearing. No longer interested in the conversation, Gale excused himself, his anger now awash with confusion and guilt. He walked the corridors, trying to get himself lost and unlost at the same time. He was no longer certain what he felt. He certainly resented that Katniss hadn't thought about how what she was doing would affect him, or their child, but he now realized that he'd drastically underestimated the responsibility she felt…to the rebellion, to her fellow Victors, to Peeta. That part still upset him, but Gale was no longer certain if he was upset because Katniss had suggested the child was his…an eventuality that now seemed inevitable…or if it was because a part of him deep down was still jealous of Peeta.

He remembered how he felt when Peeta first declared his love for her, like an icy hand had just clenched his heart…and then when he had to watch her kiss him in the cave. Nothing icy hit him that time, just pure fire coursing through his veins. Residual jealous and anger flushed his system, but was this time it was mixed with shame as Gale remembered what he'd done after, or rather who—Rita, the banker's wife, who he'd run into at the Cellar and fucked in the back of her husband's car while half-drunk.

Gale realized he was going to have a hard time yelling at Katniss for acting so carelessly and impulsively when he wasn't exactly perfect himself. He'd done that when he knew he loved her…so was what she did any worse? A sickness pooled in Gale's gut as the conflicting emotions raged within him.

He kept walking the halls, trying to sort everything out, but the more he thought about it, the less certain he got…He no longer knew if he was angry about her wanting to save Peeta or just jealous…he didn't know how mad he could be at her for acting so thoughtlessly when he'd been thoughtless before…and when his actions could have potentially ruined his future more than hers did… _what if he'd run into a different girl that night, and not a married banker's wife…what if he'd slept with that girl and gotten her pregnant?_ Gale shuddered thinking about it. Nelly'd thought she was pregnant once, and Gale remembered that when she told him, his first thought was hoping she'd tell him she wanted to marry another town kid instead of him… _What does that say about him as a person? As a parent?_ Gale's thoughts were getting more and more tangled. He reminded himself that Nelly wasn't really pregnant, and he was scared and barely sixteen when it'd happened…but that just reminded him that Katniss now was just seventeen and she had a lot more to be scared about than he did.

Gale's head now felt ten times heavier than his body. He wasn't sure where he was in the District now, but he was certain it was about time he tried to make his way back. He still wasn't _okay_ with what Katniss had done that morning, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be, but he was no longer blindly angry at her. He was jealous of Peeta, more so than he wanted to admit, but he could deal with that if Katniss loved him. And he knew that she did love him, though he was hurt that she didn't consider him, so he wanted to talk to her about that. He knew that if he didn't want to be judged by some of the careless mistakes he'd made in the heat of the moment, he couldn't going to do that to her. But he did need to see how she really felt about this whole thing. He was also worried about how carelessly she'd thrown their child's life into the mix…And even if Beetee was right about it being the best option, Gale was pretty sure Katniss didn't know that. And that bothered him more than anything. A flash of clear anger coursed through him again, and he realized he'd finally hit upon an uncomplicated emotion. Maybe he couldn't rightly be upset with Katniss about anything else, but the disregard she had for their child…that he felt he had a pretty solid point on. That not only upset him, but worried him.

But then Gale remembered how Katniss had never wanted to be a mother…had never wanted to have children, and he was conflicted again…but she'd changed, _hadn't she? Or was that just wishful thinking on his part?_ Gale certainly remembered how she felt when they first found out she was pregnant, not only angry and upset, but mean…But recently, Gale would swear that she seemed happier about the whole thing…bringing up names, singing in the bath, constantly cradling her stomach…but the more Gale thought about it, the more he realized she might have just accepted her fate rather than embraced it. _Did she care about their child? Was it possible she lacked a maternal instinct?_ The more Gale thought about it, the more he realized the only maternal instinct she'd displayed so far was a strange certainly she was having a girl…but other than that…

And this wasn't the first time he'd worried about her desire and ability to mother. He remembered the numerous times she'd told him she didn't want a child—her pregnancy was unwelcome, inconvenient, and unwanted. Gale had kept telling himself that it would change, that she'd come to be excited about having a baby, happy to raise a child with him…but as Gale thought about it, the more he realized that their child might just be another problem she felt she had to deal with…

By the time he found himself on his floor, he was less certain than ever. He couldn't convince himself that Katniss really cared about him or their baby, or anything, just that she felt responsible and indebted to people, like Peeta, and things, like the rebellion. Gale wasn't just angry now, but also anxious and insecure as he wondered if Katniss really loved him or if she was just responding to his wants and needs because she thought she _owed_ him. Because that's what she did… _that's all she ever does,_ he thought to himself angrily.

He contemplated going to his mother's so he could talk to her and try and gain some perspective, but he couldn't put off talking to Katniss any longer—he needed to figure this out.

As he approached her mother's room, he was surprised to see Prim frantically darting down the hall, her limbs spinning so fast she looked like she might fall. She flew into the room, screaming, "Here mom, I've got it!"

Gale wondered what was going on as he approached their door. As he was about to knock, he heard:

"Thank you, dear," Anise said in her characteristically calm voice. "Put this in your mouth," she told Katniss, who Gale could see fighting her. "Katniss, stop it," she said sternly, "if you don't breathe, you're going to have a panic attack."

Gale froze in horror when he heard that and looked through the small window that was half obscured with blinds. He made out Katniss struggling in her mother's arms as Prim tried to hold her. He wanted to bang on the door, try and help them, but he realized he'd only be a distraction and didn't want to get in their way. _What was wrong with her?_ he wondered.

"Prim," Anise told her younger daughter who understood what to do. Prim grabbed her sister's face and held it still. With one arm steadying Katniss, ignoring her kicking knees, Anise took her other hand and shook a small inhaler. "This will be like a burst of oxygen," she told Katniss, who didn't look like she was listening.

"How could I have done that?" she sobbed again.

Gale wasn't happy to see Katniss so upset, but for a moment, it took it to be a good sign. _She must care…on some level,_ he thought to himself.

"You were just trying to help, baby. That's what you always do. You don't have to be sorry for that. Now open up."

Gale winced at Katniss's mother's words, watching her force the inhaler in Katniss's lips and say, "Now take a deep breath." The shot of air hit Katniss like a punch and caused her to jump back and cough violently.

"Is she okay?" Prim asked in alarm.

"It's a shock to her system, but it opened up airways."

When Katniss stopped coughing, she actually was able to breathe better. But it didn't stop her crying. "I ruined everything mom, he'll never forgive me."

"Yes he will," Anise said certainly, "now open up again," she brought the inhaler back up to Katniss's lips.

"He shouldn't forgive me. He deserves better. I was stupid and angry and wasn't thinking about what I'd cost him."

"Katniss—" Her mother began.

"No!" Katniss wailed, refusing to be comforted, refusing to make excuses for herself, "it's all my fault. Gale...Peeta….The Quell…"

Gale winced again, his anger for Katniss seeping away from him. He'd forgotten about the terms of the Quell, and never stopped to think about how it'd make Katniss feel. Gale's stomach sank.

"I just wanted to make things better, but I've ruined everything..."

"No, Katniss, no, it'll be alright, but I need you to take another breath, okay?" Anise inserted the inhaler between Katniss's lips. "Now try and breathe, baby."

She squeezed the device, again sending Katniss into another fit of coughs.

"It'd be better if I'd just died...then none of this would be happening. Gale'd be happy, Peeta'd be okay, they wouldn't be having the Quell," she kept sobbing.

_No!_ Gale thought, _how could she think that? She had to know he loved her, didn't she?_ He wondered as he watched helplessly from outside the door, realizing he'd spent the day wondering the exact same thing.

"But what about us?" Prim asked, cradling her sister's face.

"You'd be better off without me too!" Katniss cried, her voice rising in hysterics, "I left you! I was supposed to take care of you and I abandoned you when I tried to save Gale! You could have died, and it's all my fault!"

"Your sister and I are fine, Katniss. And it sounds to me like Gale's the one who could have died," Anise said flatly, "if you hadn't gone to save him. If he needs to be reminded of that…"

Gale felt himself growing smaller. He realized that Katniss, for all her flaws, did care and deeply. He'd spent the whole day angry that she didn't care enough, but now he was realizing the problem was in fact the opposite. It wasn't that she didn't care enough, it was that she cared too much…about too much. Seeing her hysterics now, Gale cursed himself for having doubted Katniss's feelings for him.

"I didn't even think about you, and you're my family! You deserve better. Gale deserves better." Katniss began to howl, wallowing now.

"What are you talking about, Katniss?" Prim asked, utterly confused. "You're the best—"

"No," Katniss refused to listen. All she could think about what how she'd let everyone she'd ever loved down. "I left you and mom behind. I wasn't thinking about what'd happen to you when I went after Gale. You could have starved to death. I was supposed to take care of you and I wasn't thinking about you…just like today…I wasn't thinking…"

Katniss's words cut Gale deeply. Hearing her say this now hurt worse that what she'd said in the morning. His anger turned inward. He cursed himself for being so selfish as he watched her suffering.

"They were just making me feel like they could use me...and I was so tired of being used...but I should have let them...I should have…"

Anise took her daughter's face in her hands and forced her to look at her. She couldn't help but feel like she was the reason her daughter had felt this way...like she had to take care of everything. Anise didn't know if she'd ever be able to undo that damage, or repair their relationship, but she was going to make sure her daughter knew it wasn't her fault. "Katniss," she said softly and sternly at the same time, "it's not your job to take care of me. I'm the one who's supposed to take care of you. And I'm sorry that I didn't do a very good job of it. But you are not responsible for me." Her mother's blue eyes locked in on hers, and Katniss couldn't look away even though she wanted to.

"Or me," Prim echoed, reaching out for her sister's shoulder. Katniss looked over to her in shock, not at all comprehending what they were telling her.

"Or Gale," her mother continued. "He wouldn't be half the man he is today if it weren't for you. And if he needs someone to remind him of that, believe me, I will." Anise said, and Gale felt himself shrink smaller by the doorway.

"And you don't have to take care of Peeta or Haymitch or anyone else but this baby," her mother said, placing her hand on Katniss's stomach. "Do you understand me?"

Katniss looked at her mom but didn't know what to say. "But I'll be a horrible mother," Katniss cried.

"No!" Prim said adamantly.

"Gale's the better parent," Katniss said, "He's so much better than me…"

"No, Katniss, no," Prim said, wiping some of the hair of out her sister's face.

Gale was slightly touched to see that Katniss cared, that she was thinking and worrying about this. For a brief moment, it allayed the fears he'd been having about her interest in their child.

"But I've killed people!" Katniss started sobbing again, her whole body convulsing. "And that will always be a part of me. How can I raise a child? I'm a murderer!"

Prim's face fell in horror, and Gale suspected his did too. The momentary burst of hope just felt was gone. He'd never thought about this before, hadn't thought about what that'd done to her. Anise pulled Katniss back into her lap and began rocking her.

"I hurt people, that's what I do!"

"No, Katniss, no," Prim tried to sooth her.

"Yes. I've hurt you and you," she said to both her mother and sister, "and Gale, and everyone…" Katniss's sob were getting less and less coherent as she catalogued everyone she thought she'd hurt. "People will die in the rebellion because of me, and in the Quell...and it's all my fault!"

"Baby, I need you to calm down."

"I don't know why I ever thought I could make anything better...I'll just hurt this baby too. I'm no good," her mind was spiraling and she was starting to choke on air again. "You all deserve better..."

"Mom?" Gale couldn't help but notice how worried Prim sounded.

"Katniss, this isn't good for the baby, I need you to calm down sweetie, and I promise, everything will be okay."

"No it won't," Katniss writhed.

"Mom?" Prim said again, sounded ever more worried.

"It'll never be okay…Gale said…" she gasped, "he said…"

Gale frantically tried to recall what he'd said to make her feel this way, but he was so angry, he didn't remember. He cursed himself and wanted to break down the door and go to her, tell her how much he loved her. _What had he said?_

Anise and Prim continued tried to restrain Katniss. "Honey, listen to me, you need to calm down."

But Katniss couldn't. All she could think about was all the people she'd hurt, all the people she'd failed, all the people she'd killed.

"Mom," Prim's voice began to waiver, "I think she's getting worse..."

"It'll be okay," Anise tried to assure both her daughters with a confidence she didn't really have, but knew they deserved.

Katniss's body started to convulse and the inhaler Anise was trying to get back into her mouth fell to the floor. Prim sprang up to grab it, but her mom told her not to bother.

"I need you to go get a sedative, Prim," Anise commanded.

"But what about the baby..." Prim asked, knowing some drugs weren't good for pregnant woman.

"Anything is better for the baby than this," Anise told her, wishing she had access to her herbs which she knew wouldn't hurt the baby, "she could start having contractions if she stays like this."

"I don't remember the names of the sedative drugs here…" Prim said like she was confessing a sin.

"That's okay," her mom said reassuringly, "They're called Benzodiazepines. There will be two numbers on the label, the onset and the elimination. Try and find one with the lowest elimination number possible, okay?"

"Okay," Prim said shakily. "Benz…." She'd already forgotten the second part.

"That's all you need to remember. Anything that starts with benzo- and has a small elimination number."

"Okay," Prim said more firmly, and headed to the door.

She nearly crashed into Gale as she left.

"Prim," his voice cracked with concern. Prim considered darting past him, ignoring him, or saying something hurtful for whatever he'd done to upset her sister. But Prim could never forget everything Gale'd done for her family, and while she knew he had a temper, she also knew he never lost it without reason. Her respect for him squashed all the harsh things she wanted to say, but she still wanted him to know that this wasn't okay. So as she looked at him, she pushed the hostility from her voice and simply said, "You know Gale, I know better than anyone that she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she doesn't deserve this."

Gale gulped hard, knowing she was right, but Prim hadn't waited to see if he'd had a response, and ran to the clinic.


	28. Chapter 28

Gale grabbed the door before it locked shut and walked slowly inside. He still wasn't sure if seeing him would make Katniss any better, but he couldn't stay away any longer. As he stepped in, neither Katniss nor her mother seemed to notice him.

"Mrs. Everdeen?" He said, almost weakly.

"You," she said, looking up with warning eyes, "well, come here, help me hold her down."

Gale immediately walked over to the bed. He slowly reached out to touch Katniss, almost afraid to do so. He was stunned to see how badly she was shaking, still sobbing wildly as she balled tightly around a pillow.

"Try to stretch her out," Anise ordered. Gale nodded and gently tried get Katniss to uncurl, but she fought him. Her mother explained, "she's putting a lot of pressure on the baby when she balls up like that."

"Is she going to be okay?" Gale asked, pulling out her legs so she couldn't press them into her stomach.

"I think a lot of that depends on you," Anise returned without looking at him, taking Katniss's head into her lap and stroking her cheek. Katniss kept trying to kick.

Gale shook his head, silently cursing. "I swear," he told her mom earnestly, "I didn't say anything to hurt her."

"You didn't think you said anything to hurt her," Anise clarified.

Gale nodded, accepting that.

"Just remember," Anise added, taking Katniss's hand in hers, "she didn't either."

That blow was a little harder for to Gale to take, especially after what Haymitch and Prim had already said to him, but he did. And he realized, she was right. After everything he'd just heard, after everything he'd just seen, he didn't care about why Katniss had made him angry, all he could think about how much she'd done for him, how much she meant to him, and how much others had made her suffer. He was only angry now because he'd become one of those others.

He gently began stroking her legs, as soothingly as he could while he held them out. Between his and her mother's touch, she seemed to be calming down. "Should I say something?" he asked her mom, hoping she could tell him how to fix this.

But all he got was another one of her veiled, accusatory comments, "only if it'll make things better." Gale had observed that Katniss's mom had a talent for making facts sound like insults. He'd long suspected this was a large part of the rift between the two women, though he didn't think of that now.

Gale opened his mouth and then stopped. For one of the few times in his life, he wasn't sure what he should say, he wasn't sure what would make Katniss feel better as she kept sobbing into the sheets and trying to kick him away.

"Mom…mommy…" she muttered through her strangled sobs.

"It's okay, baby, just breathe and try to relax," Anise said, soothing her face, "can you do that for me?"

"No!" Katniss screamed with a sudden burst of energy that surprised Gale. She got one of her legs free from him and ended up kicking him in the stomach.

"Ouwf!" he exclaimed, stopping himself from doubling over and he tried to get ahold oh her again. She was stronger than he realized, and he had to hold her tighter than he wanted to.

"You can't have me!" she started to scream manically, eyes unfocused but full of fight.

Anise let out an exhausted breath.

"What's wrong?" Gale asked.

"I think she's starting to…" But Anise didn't get to finish her sentence. One of Katniss's hands broke free, slapping her mother hard across the face. Anise recoiled for half an instant, her fingers quickly rising to her lip and feeling blood. If she felt anything or had any reaction, Gale couldn't tell. He sometimes wondered if she were icy or stoic.

But Gale didn't have time to wonder about that now. He quickly turned his attention to Katniss, who'd descended into full-on panic, kicking and screaming. She almost got Gale in the stomach again, but he was prepared for her this time and jumped back. She took that opportunity to try to climb to the back of the bed and tried to wedge herself between it and the wall.

"Don't let her get back there," Anise began to explain, but she didn't have to as Gale was already pulling Katniss into his lap.

"Hey, hey," he said soothingly to her, "it's alright, I've got you, I've got you."

Gale pulled Katniss on to his lap, sobbing, trembling, kicking, and screaming as he kept soothing her.

Just as she seemed to calm down, Prim burst through the door, "Mom, I've got it!" she said, panting.

The commotion startled Katniss, who tried to wrench herself free again. Her nails dug into Gale's face as she tried to push herself away, but he ignored the pain, and locked her in his arms.

"This one had the lowest number," Prim said, holding a bottle out to her mom, "but they were pills, so I didn't know if we'd get her to take them, so I also grabbed this," she held a syringe out as well.

"Smart girl," Anise said, grabbing the syringe and smiling at her youngest. Prim couldn't help but feel proud.

Anise walked over to Katniss, still clawing at Gale's arms. She tossed the cap to the needle aside and flicked it a few times before grabbing Katniss's leg.

"Don't you dare!" Katniss seethed, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you all!"

"I know, dear," Anise said, almost indifferently, as she pressed the needle to her daughter's skin and injected the sedative.

Katniss immediately fell limp in Gale's arms. Gale began to cradle her, and Prim rushed over to help position her comfortably in the bed, putting a pillow beneath her and covering her with a blanket.

"Don't worry," Prim said, trying to comfort Gale, "mom always knows what to do."

Gale smiled at the youngest Everdeen, who was curling up next to her unconscious sister and secure in the assumption her mother could make this right.

It was an assumption Gale wasn't quite ready to believe in, especially as he watched the woman pick up the discarded cap and check her lip in the mirror before returning to Katniss. Gale didn't know what to make of Mrs. Everdeen, or any of the Everdeen women at that moment. The way Katniss and her sister spoke of their mother was so different it was like they were speaking of two entirely different women. Katniss often referred to her mother as selfish, pathetic and useless. But the way Prim talked about her mother, Gale sometimes thought she was talking about Katniss…so incredible, so capable, strong, caring…

Personally, Gale didn't have anything against Mrs. Everdeen. She'd delivered all of his siblings, even Posy, and that was only a week after his father and her husband had died, so he'd never thought of her as incapable as Katniss seemed to, but, he never saw the same goodness in her that Prim seemed to. To Gale, Mrs. Everdeen had always seemed cold and distant. _Reserved,_ is how his mother described her, though Gale got the distinct impression that that was a nice way to say something worse…though what that worse was, he never quite figured out.

"This has happened to her before?" he asked Prim, as he crouched on the floor by her and Katniss's face.

"Yeah," Prim said with a heavy sight, "several times when she first got back from the Games."

Gale gulped hard. Katniss had never told him. Not that that really surprised him, he realized, knowing she wouldn't want to burden him or make him worry. He again cursed himself for not realizing the toll the Games had had on her...and then today with the Quell…

"Yeah, usually, it was when she woke up from a nightmare screaming and crying, but she'd get better when mom and I'd throw on the lights, go back to sleep if we were holding her." Gale couldn't help but think that Prim had more to do with calming Katniss than her mother did.

"And a few times," Prim added, snuggling closer to her sister, "Mom or I found her balled up in strange places, muttering, shaking, crying to herself behind the couch or under the bed. Once we were so worried..." Prim looked up at her mother who was folding something but met her daughter's gaze, nodding in solemn remembrance, "Mom and I couldn't find her for hours. I was about go to your place to see if you could go looking for her in the woods, even though it was a week night."

"You know I would have," Gale said earnestly, wanting them both to know.

"Yeah, I know," she said with a friendly smile. "But we finally found her."

"Where?"

"Under the kitchen sink," Anise said, shaking her head softly, smiling slightly, sitting down next to her daughters. "Scared me half to death. I never even thought to look down there, I didn't think she's fit. But there she was, clinging to the pipes…We had to call Haymitch over to drag her out. She kicked him in the nose…I was so afraid he'd hit her, he looked so angry, and I didn't know him very well then…But he didn't. He just pried her out from under the sink, threw her over his shoulder and actually _tucked_ her in bed. That's when I realized how much he cared." There was a strange lightness in Anise's voice as she said this. "That's when I realized we could trust him."

Gale found himself jealous he hadn't been there to help. "I'd no idea," Gale almost whispered, almost to himself.

"She never talked about it. Not even to us," Prim said, looking up at Gale. "And she wouldn't want you to think she was…" she paused a moment.

"Weak," Her mother filled in, looking straight down at her sleeping daughter.

"I wouldn't have," Gale said, still stroking her legs and wishing she'd told him.

"Katniss always assumed showing emotions was a form of weakness…" Prim said.

Anise got up as if something had suddenly made her uncomfortable. "Prim, dear, did you eat dinner?" she said as she straightened out her clothing.

"No," Prim said in a questioning tone.

"I'm going to go get you something to eat before the cafeteria closes. Gale, have you eaten?" She didn't catch either of their eyes as she asked.

"Oh, I had something earlier."

"Are you hungry?" she asked, finally looking to his eyes.

"Sure," Gale said, "thanks."

"It's no problem. If you just give me your ID, I can get something for you," she said, grabbing Prim's from a hook by the door. "And I need to return the medicine we didn't use," she looked away again as if something had caught her attention, "I know how they like to keep track of everything here, so…"

Anise Everdeen left her sentence hanging in the air as she left the room.

Gale looked to Prim, a bit concerned and curious about her mother's behavior, but Prim didn't seem to notice. _Perhaps she's used to this_ , Gale thought, recalling another word Katniss had used to describe her mother was _unstable_.

Prim was still looking down at her sister, softly stroking her face. "I don't think showing emotion is weakness, do you?" she asked Gale, staring into his eyes.

"Ehh," he hadn't been prepared for the question, "no, I guess not."

"I think you should tell her that," Prim said, eyes back on her sister. "Maybe then she'll talk to you."

"Yeah," Gale said, not quite grasping what Prim was telling him, "sure."

"What you think of her was always so important," Prim said, almost off-handedly. Gale looked at her, still not sure what she was getting at. "You know, when she first came back, mom didn't want her going hunting. She was afraid…she didn't know how she'd handle the killing again, especially with the nightmares..."

Gale gulped audibly—he'd never thought of that either. He tried to think back to how Katniss reacted in the woods, he remembered the first day she ran to him, sobbing, but he couldn't remember how she reacted the first time she killed something…

"…but she came back happier than I'd seen her since the Games. She said it was the only place where she could be herself."

"The woods…" Gale had always known Katniss was happiest out in the woods.

"I don't think it was the woods," Prim said, looking Gale in the eyes again, suddenly looking older and more serious, "it was you."

 _Oh,_ Gale half said, half breathed. He'd never thought of it quite like that.

"Look, Gale," Prim said in a way that reminded Gale slightly of his mother. It both impressed and disturbed him. "I don't know what happened between you two, and I don't need to, but I know it takes a lot to upset my sister, and I know you can get angry…."

Gale didn't really need another lecture after the one Haymitch had given him, and the one he'd given himself, but he didn't stop Prim.

"So I think you need to know," she stressed heavily, "that you're the only person she can confide in, the only person she's ever asked for help, the only person she's leaned on…and that means you're really special. She doesn't do that with me because she thinks she has to take care of me…and she doesn't do that with mom because…" Prim left that sentence hanging. Gale couldn't tell if it was because she didn't know what to say or didn't want to tell him. "But she does it with you. And I don't know if that's fair to you or what you want, but I remember how you acted when she was in the Games, so I know she's special to you too. So try and remember that because I think she's going to need to lean on someone a lot in the months coming up. So if you could just deal with your…whatever…for a little bit longer..."

"Prim," Gale said seriously, but with a slight smile, "If I have anything to say about it, she'll be doing it for a lot longer than just a few months."

"Good," Prim said, laying down and snuggling even closer to her sister. "Especially since _you_ got her pregnant."

Gale couldn't believe Prim just said that. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but it sounded like another accusation. His jaw dropped and quickly formed into a shocked smile, "Prim…"

"What?" She popped her head back up and spoke innocently.

"I'm not having _that_ conversation with you," Gale said in his best big brother voice, trying to reclaim some of the authority he'd lost that day.

"Why?"

"You're only thirteen…"

"I'm almost fourteen." She said like it made a world of difference.

"So?" Gale couldn't believe her, "you're too young."

"No I'm not. I know how this works."

Gale had to stop himself from laughing even though he didn't know what was so funny. "Well, clearly you don't because then you'd know I'm not _exclusively_ responsible..."

Prim laughed. "Gale, I think you're blushing. All I meant was, she's going to have a baby, and you should probably be around for that, since you know, it's _your_ baby. And that takes more than a few months." Gale wasn't certain if Prim was talking seriously or if she was making fun of him, but he was pretty sure she was doing a bit of both.

"Oh," Gale said, certain he was blushing more.

Prim laughed good naturedly again. "I'm glad you're back, Gale."

Gale looked over at her, and he was trying to figure out how to tell her how much he appreciated hearing that when her mother came back into the room.

"How's she doing?" Anise asked immediately, setting the food down on the table.

"She's still asleep," Prim said, pulling herself away from Katniss, kissing her on the cheek, and walking over to the food. "Did they have nut-butter sandwiches?"

Anise smiled at her youngest, running her fingers over her scalp as she went to sit by Katniss. "I can't believe you like that stuff so much," she said while feeling Katniss's face and testing her pulse.

"It's the best. Have you tried it yet, Gale?"

"Um, no, I don't think so," he said, only half paying attention while he watched Katniss's mom, hoping she'd be able to give him some sign Katniss was okay.

"Well you should. It looks like they've given us…" she pulled out her food, "potato and meat stew…It's not bad," Prim added after she'd started eating.

"Is Katniss okay?" he asked before leaving Katniss's side.

"I'll think she'll be as good as she ever was."

Another one of her double-edged comments. Gale had to stop himself from lashing out at her; he wasn't in the mood for that. But he reminded himself everything she'd done for Katniss that day and that she'd just gotten him food, so he didn't.

Gale watched Mrs. Everdeen cautiously before finally getting up and eating his food. He was hungrier than he realized and was glad they'd included a small loaf of bread with the stew.

"So, nut-butter sandwiches?" He said, smiling at Prim.

"Yeah," she said excitedly back, "they taste like cake."

"How do you know what cake tastes like?" Gale asked, eyes Prim suspiciously. They'd never been able to afford cake. He and Katniss had been able to get burnt cookies on occasion for their siblings, but never cake.

Prim let out an annoyed sigh as if Gale was making a ridiculous and unnecessary point. "Fine," she relented, "but I know what sugar tastes like and I know what bread tastes like, so it isn't too hard for me to imagine…"

Gale had a hard time imagining something called _nut-butter_ would taste anything like cake, but he'd never had cake either, so he didn't bring this up.

"And anyway," Prim said authoritatively, "Torry says it tastes like cake too."

Anise looked up at Prim with the knowing look of a mother. Gale'd seen that look on his mother face a hundred times and he only just now realized what it meant—the mixture of amusement, irritation, and apprehension. It was the look his mother gave him every time he brought up Katniss. Gale wasn't sure who Torry was, but he strongly suspected he was a boy Prim liked.

"Is Torry an expert on cake?" Gale asked.

"No," Prim said defensively, "but he's had cake." Torry's word clearly meant something to her.

Gale smiled as he was reminded that, despite their previous conversation, she was still a teenager. And then Gale was reminded that their previous conversation was about sex and pregnancy, and he worried. Prim was like a little sister to him. _Who was this Torry kid?_ He wondered, _And what were his intentions with Prim?_

"Oh, so, Torry's a boy?" Gale asked.

"Yes," Prim curtly.

"Do I get to meet him?"

Prim left the table like she had no idea what Gale was talking about. "You can if you want to." She did her best to sound indifferent as she walked over to the bed. She didn't see the grin Gale was wearing, but her mother did, and Mrs. Everdeen eyed Gale approvingly.

"Brush your teeth before you get in bed, Prim," Mrs. Everdeen said as Prim moved to climb in next to her sister. She sighed heavily, but went over to the sink and scrubbed, and then climbed back in bed curling next to her sister. Anise tucked both of her daughters in, and let her fingers stroke softly both of their delicate faces as Prim mumbled goodnight and promptly fell asleep.

Gale cleaned up the waste from his and Prim's dinner. He realized Mrs. Everdeen's food was still untouched. "Do you want to come eat?" Gale asked as he approached.

"Oh, I'm okay, dear, thank you," she said without looking up at him.

He considered insisting that she ate, but decided against it. _She's a grown woman,_ he told himself, _she can eat when she wants to._ He left her food clearly out on the table though, and went and knelt by the bed.

"She's still out," Anise said, before he could ask a question.

Gale nodded. He wanted to know how long Katniss would be asleep and if he could take her back to their room, and if she'd be okay when she woke up. But he was afraid of what Anise would say, didn't want to hear another one of her accusatory double-edged answers, and he didn't want to argue with her about the response she was certain she'd give.

"I'm sorry," Gale said even though he wasn't sure what for. "I'd no idea…I'd never seen her like this, just so you know, not once while we were together—"

"Of course not," Anise said, almost dismissively.

Gale's brow wrinkled in confusion as he looked at her.

"Because you two were together," she said, looking up at him with a stiff stare.

Gale nodded, though from Anise's tone, he wasn't quite sure if that was a compliment for how he'd kept her together before or another accusation for how he'd made her fall apart now.

"I'm sorry," Gale said, he wasn't exactly sure why.

"Being sorry doesn't make it better—"

Gale sighed heavily, still not in the mood for this, and especially not from Katniss's mother. He was pretty sure that, even with all the help she'd given her daughter today, she'd harmed Katniss more than he ever had… _or would_ , he told himself.

"Mrs. Everdeen," he said through gritted teeth, "with all due respect, Haymitch and Prim have already given me this talk, not that I even needed it to begin with, and I'm honestly not in the mood for it again. I am sorry about upsetting Katniss, I never wanted to hurt her, but her being hurt doesn't undo what she did either—"

"Gale," Anise said in her most authoritative voice, the one she used when she needed to take command, "you're a grown man. You don't have to listen to Haymitch or even Prim if you don't want to. But since Katniss is my daughter, and you got her pregnant, so you're going to listen to me."

Gale let out a frustrated breath and leaned back again the wall. He was sick of feel like he was solely responsible for everything that'd happened… _Katniss had told him she was on birth control,_ he wanted to chide her mom, _and she was the one who started their fight today…_ But he didn't say anything. Instead, he just looked at Mrs. Everdeen, preparing himself for whatever she was going to throw at him.

She met his stare. "I'm not going to scold or belittle you. That's not my place, and it's not my style, but I am going to tell you what you need to know. Because there are apparently a few things you're forgetting—"

He'd had about enough of this day. He was exhausted. He was angry. He was worried. He was tired. "You know, Katniss forgot a few things too, like the fact I'm the father of her kid—"

"If your paternal rights are so important to you, Gale, perhaps you should considering marrying the next girl before you impregnate her."

Her tone was so cold it practically made Gale want to shiver. He looked at her with pure contempt; that comment cut in so many ways. Now Gale knew exactly why Katniss hated her mother—she was a bitch.

"How the hell can you even say that to me?" He had to stop himself from screaming, "doubt my commitment to your daughter? And your whole family, for that matter, after everything I've done—for all you!"

Gale had to catch himself while he caught his breath. Mrs. Everdeen did not recoil from his remarks, in fact, she met his stare.

"And it's a hell of a lot more than you've ever done—"

"Is that what you think?" her tone was curiously flat, mild even.

"Yeah!" Gale began, remembering everything Katniss had told him when they were out in the woods, about her mother wasting away in bed while Katniss was out trying to feed her family. Gale was legitimately sorry he'd hurt Katniss the way he had that day, but that didn't mean Katniss hadn't hurt him too, and it sure didn't give this woman the right to lecture him about hurting her daughter. He was about to tell her all this when she asked:

"Tell me, Gale, if I asked your brothers, what kind of a woman would they say your mother was?"

"What?" Gale was thrown off by this question.

"Your mother, what kind of a woman would Rory say she was?"

Gale let out a mad laugh. He was so surprised by this question, he didn't stop to guess why she'd asked him this. "Um, strict, mean, and annoying probably."

"And would you say that's a fair description of your mother?"

"Of course not," Gale said brusquely through another laugh. "My mom's an incredible woman, she's kind, loving and—"

"So you'd agree that twelve years can't be trusted when it comes to assessing their mothers."

Gale almost swallowed his tongue. He was about to go off on Mrs. Everdeen for not having any of those characteristics, but he suddenly lost everything he wanted to say.

"I'm not saying I'm the perfect mother, Gale, I've made a lot of mistakes, but Katniss was out in those woods after her father died because she wanted to be just as much as she needed to be…I think it was easier for her to be out there…rather than at home with me and Prim and our grief." A rare spike of pain escaped Anise's voice, and she looked Gale straight in the eyes with a ferocity that he recognized from Katniss. He'd always assumed she'd gotten that fire from her father, knowing her mother to be so cold, but for the first time, he realized, it came from her mom.

Not many people knew it, but Anise Everdeen used to be full of light. It was one of the things her husband had loved about her, and when he died, almost all her light went out. She'd given up everything for that man, and she gave what little she had left to her girls. Katniss, despondent and not knowing how she'd go on, got all her fire, so she'd have the power to survive, and Prim, heartbroken and believing the world to be cruel and unfair, got her sunshine, so she'd know the world still had goodness in it. Anise hadn't realized at that time that she should have saved some of that light for herself, she hadn't realized giving it away would make her feel so cold, but even knowing that now, as she looked at both of her girls sleeping, she couldn't say she regretted it. She saw the best of herself in each of them—her courage and her kindness—and she saw how each of them made it better. _What mother could ask for more?_

Anise didn't tell Gale any of this, though. She also didn't tell him how she'd helped all the injured miners she could, even though their families' had no money to pay. She didn't tell him how, even when her girls first began to complain about their hunger, she still didn't turn them away. Anise knew how hunger hurt, but she'd just learned how much losing a loved one hurt more, and she couldn't put that on any other family, not if she could help. So she did everything she could. And when her cupboards were empty, she went and asked her family for money. She'd had the door slammed in her face when she told them she was marrying a boy from the Seam, and she'd had the door slammed in her face when she tried to return home. Good riddance, her father'd said before, and good riddance, he'd said again.

Anise didn't tell Gale any of this. She didn't tell her girls either. The most important lesson she'd learned as a healer was to do the best you can and then go on—you can't hope to help or save everybody, and trying to will just destroy you. It's often not enough, it's hardly ever enough, but your best is all there is to offer. Do your best and then go on.

Anise had done her best—for her husband, her daughters, her patients and their families—she wasn't going to apologize or ask for forgiveness for it not having been enough.

"No, Gale, I'm not perfect," she continued, and Gale noticed for the first time a softness in her voice, a wistfulness to her tone that made him wonder just what exactly she was thinking. "And I'm not asking you to be either—"

"Oh, really?" he said a bit more harshly than he meant to.

"Of course not," she said with a soft smile. "Katniss certainly isn't perfect. Katniss has many great qualities…she's strong, independent, caring…but she's not very good at forgiving," Anise said this with a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of her own relationship with her daughter. She never imagined that something so slight could be so heavy. "So if you want to have a good relationship with her—"

"You're an expert on good relationships?" Gale scoffed.

"Do you want to have the same relationship with Katniss as I do?" Anise asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"No."

"Then maybe you should stop arguing with me and listen."

Gale didn't have anything to say to that. He couldn't believe it—Katniss's mom was trying to help him.

"So like I said, there are a few things you need to know. First, anger isn't common in our household," she said with a taut tone, "Katniss's father didn't have a temper, and in case you haven't noticed from our conversation, I don't either…"

Gale couldn't help himself, but he almost laughed at that. She had a point.

"We're not like you're family…"

Gale looked up at Mrs. Everdeen and wondered what exactly she was implying. He knew very well that his family was hot-tempered. His siblings were always fighting and squabbling, his mother was known to raise her voice…But his father, well, his father's temper made Gale's seem calm.

"That's fair," Gale said, realizing why Katniss might have been so sensitive to his anger that morning.

Mrs. Everdeen nodded. "And just remember, she was deeply traumatized by the Games, and I can only imagine how coming back here, being confronted with all that again, is affecting her…"

Gale nodded; that point was more than fair, and he legitimately felt bad for not having taken that into consideration earlier.

"And finally," Mrs. Everdeen said, getting up and grabbing something out of her bag, "I don't know how much you remember from your mother's pregnancies, but women go through a lot of changes," she said, handing him a stack of folded papers. Gale glanced at them, realizing they were all pamphlets on pregnancy. "It's especially rough the first time. That information should be helpful."

"Uhh, thanks," Gale said as he flipped through the pages.

"You're very welcome," she said politely, as she sat back down on the bed.

Gale couldn't help but think that Katniss's mother was very strange, but she didn't notice the curious look he was now giving her as she was staring back down at Katniss.

"Mom?" Katniss said, awakening at the movement around her.

"Hey baby," Anise said, softly stroking her daughter's cheek.

"What happened?" Katniss's memory was foggy and only slowly coming back to her.

"How are you feeling?" Anise said, deflecting her question and not wanting to say anything that would jar her.

Katniss had to stop and think about her. Her body was stiff and her mouth dry. There was a dull ache throughout her body. "Umm, okay I guess," she said, slowly stretching, careful not to bother Prim, who she realized was asleep beside her. "I think I'm thirsty."

"I'll get you some water," Anise said sweetly. As she moved, she added, "there's someone here to see you." She revealed Gale as she got up.

Gale eagerly slided closer to the bed. "Hey Catnip." He reached out to grab her hands.

Katniss looked hopefully into his eyes, but hers quickly darted away, ashamed.

"I'm sorry," she said, tears quickly rising to her eyes.

"Don't be," he said, leaning in to kiss her hand.

"But I ruined everything!"

"Nah," Gale said with a small laugh, kissing her hands again, "you just made things a bit more complicated. And you know me, I like complicated."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…it's more fun that way."

"But the baby!" she said touching her stomach.

"We'll figure it out, Catnip, we always do," he said sweetly. "If worse comes to worst, maybe you can hire me as your live-in nanny or something…"

He finally got the laugh he was looking for, and leaned in to kiss Katniss. Gale helped pull her to the edge of the bed and rested his chin on her knees.

"I really am sorry," she said, slowly remembering how horribly she felt earlier. "I didn't mean—"

"I didn't mean what I said either. Think you can forgive me?"

Katniss nodded as Gale wiped her tears from eyes and cupped her cheek.

"Do you want to go back to our room?" He asked, rubbing her legs.

She nodded.

"Alright, let's go." Gale got up and extended his hand to help Katniss. She still seemed a bit out of it, so he held her closely to keep her stead. Her mom made her drink some water before leaving and handed Gale her left over dinner. She put the inhaler and sedative shot in the bag while he was looking.

"You call me if you need anything, okay?" Mrs. Everdeen said as they walked to the door.

"I will mom, I promise," Katniss said, hugging her mom lightly.

Anise returned her daughter's embrace and held on for a few moments before letting go. As she did, she met Gale's eyes, and he again nodded to show he understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello All - thank you so much for all the reviews. They make me so happy, you've no idea. I know these last few chapters have been intense...thanks for bearing with me as I've tried to lay out a lot of the background plot and get Gale and Katniss through their conflict.
> 
> I know many of you have had strong feelings about some of G & K's actions and I hope I've contextualized them enough so you can understand where each was coming from...if you think I haven't, let me know! And I can try to make some edits to represent them better. I'm particularly interested in what you all think of Anise in this chapter, I tried to add some layers to her, so I'd love to know how she's coming across. I've got a lot more of her backstory in my head that hasn't made it in the text yet, so I hope she's coming across the way I envision her.
> 
> Enjoy, take care, and I'll see you all again soon!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovely Readers,
> 
> Just so you know, the emotional roller coaster we've been on is about to be over, and more exciting stuff will happen. (I did not intend for that to sprawl across so many chapters—sorry).
> 
> I'm going to introduce a few character names here b/c their names will drop in the story soon:
> 
> First, Milo Everdeen (Katniss's father), and Clyde Hawthorne (Gale's dad.) Norma Beecher, known as Gammie, is Hazelle's mom (Hazelle's maiden name is Beecher-and boy, is she fun) and Rosette (Hazelle's sister) and her husband, Uncle Ansel. Peeta's parents are Wyatt and Barb Mellark. His oldest brother, Filo, married to Dana, with three children, Brie, Sal, and Candie. Crem is Peeta's middle brother, and his wife is Wendy. They don't have any kids. All the Mellarks are in the Capitol now.
> 
> Also, Anise's maiden name is Clearwater, and her parents disowned her when she married Milo. She is a very complicated character. I honestly believe we can't trust Katniss as a narrator from the books 100% when it comes to her mom, but there are obvious reasons why Katniss thinks what she does about her mom. I also think that the face that Prim slept in her mom's bed a lot is hugely indicative of something. So, I imagine Anise to be cold, that she did shut down a lot when their father died. I also imagine that the other Seam women were not kind to her b/c she was from the Town, they assumed she had help/money coming from her family, but she didn't, they disowned her for marrying Mr. Everdeen. Thus, the Everdeens are very isolated, and I think we see this effect in Katniss's character too, as compared to Gale, who even in the books, seemed more integrated with friends, family, and society. (We'll soon get to learn more about Gale's sprawling family. Gammie's going to be fun). So, I imagine Anise as kind of "turned off" rather than being angry or devastated or pitiful or bitter. This "off-ness" does result in her coming across as a bitch often, but if you go back, I was actually very careful with her dialogue, and she's usually just stating facts. I also think these skills translate into her being a good medic (cool, calm, rational, detached), even if they don't make her a particularly likable person. Anise's older sister is Vera, and she was very cruel towards Anise, but her younger brother Dill was still kind to her and supported her marrying Milo.
> 
> For the Rebellion, we've already met Lagan Corsair, who's in charge in Four, and General Pierce is the head of Thirteen's military. Sisal Organdy leads Eight and Calico Demask is his right hand gal. Hew Mattock and Slater Adze are in power in Seven. Cinna's partner (in both the professional and personal sense) is Lux Rococo.
> 
> The only other person you might need to have on your radar is Torry Glover, Prim's new friend. He's from Eight and his family ran away to Thirteen years ago. He works in the hospital with Prim and her mom.
> 
> With Anise's character's backstory in mind, as well as what just played out between Gale and Katniss, it should be known that I don't believe in perfect people. All my characters have flaws, but I still think they're worth loving anyway. I hope you do too.

Gale held Katniss closely as they walked back to their room, hoping it would give her some of the reassurance and stability she needed, and if he was honest, that he needed too. When they made it to their room, he led her to the bed and crouched in front of her.

They sat in silence for a few moments, each trying to figure out what they wanted to say, what they wanted to hear.

Gale rested his face in her lap. He needed to close to her, breathe her in and hold her close. She could feel his hot breath through the thin cloth of her pants and she hesitantly set her hands on his head, almost afraid to touch him, afraid to need his comfort.

"Oh, Katniss," he said, just happy to have her close to him again, happy to hold her.

"I'm sorry." Her voice still trembled as she remembered everything that had happened that day.

"Hey," he said, looking up at her with eyes serious, "it's okay." He took her hand in his and kissed it. "It's okay."

"No," she shook her head.

"It's okay," he said again, nuzzling into her.

"You had every right to be mad."

"That doesn't mean I handled it right. I'm sorry too." He kissed her again, but he could still feel her body tense. "Katniss," he took her face in his hands and tried to make her look at him, though she kept her eyes downcast. He could see her them swimming with tears. "Katniss," he said again, steadily and meaningfully, as he pulled her closer to him, "I love you. Nothing you can do will ever change that. Okay? Hey, Catnip, will you look at me, please?"

Katniss could barely look him in the eyes and she felt tears begin to spill out of hers. She still didn't understand the implications of what had happened that day—she was still afraid of what they might be.

"I wasn't thinking about how hard the Games had been on you, how you feel about the rebellion...I was being selfish…"

"But I wasn't thinking either," she croaked, not forgiving herself as she remembered everything he'd said to her, how she felt when she realized he was right, everything she'd risked...

Gale laughed softly. "Well, I guess we both need to work on that. We need to talk to each other about these things, okay? So we understand."

Katniss still sat still and rigid, eyes looking away.

"Catnip," he said, beginning to worry, "Are we okay?"

She slowly brought her eyes up to his, but doing so somehow made her tears spill over. Katniss tried to let his words comfort her, but she couldn't shake the fear and anxiety that had gripped her earlier in the day, and Gale could tell.

"Hey, Catnip, what's wrong?" Gale pulled himself up and sat next to her, taking her in his arms. "It's okay, I promise."

"But you were so mad," she said with a cry. He pulled her closer. "I was so afraid…"

Gale's heart sank with guilt. Part of him didn't want to know what she was afraid of. He remembered yelling at her, when she tried to reach out to him, he remembered slamming the cabinet shut and how she jumped back, in shock, perhaps in fear.

Gale's father had had a temper—and one he wasn't very good at keeping in control. He was a good man, Gale told himself, he took care of his family, loved them. Gale fondly remembered how his dad had taught him how to throw a ball, how he always brought flowers for his mom on her birthday, how excited he was when Rory was born, and Vick. But he also remembered how afraid he was when his teacher threatened to tell his father that Gale'd been late to school and when he'd torn his new pair of pants climbing a tree.

"Clyde, dear, I can mend it. It's okay," his mom had said, trying as always to placate him and failing.

"Damn it, Hazelle, no, it isn't! He's got to learn respect!"

Gale's father had a very narrow idea on how to teach respect, authority, and discipline—it usually involved a switch, sometimes his belt, sometimes, something worse.

"Do you know how hard I had to work to buy those?" He'd screamed as the lashes flew.

Gale'd taken all his beatings stoically, which, admittedly, weren't that many…especially compared to what several other Seam kids faced at home. But his father seemed to have less and less patience with each passing child. Rory was constantly getting into trouble, and Gale remembered how he and his mom would sometimes scramble to hide the evidence of his misdeeds before "dad came home." Sometimes, Gale even thought he and his mom should have let Rory get a few more beatings, it might have taught him a bit more sense. But once, Rory broke a dinner play while rough housing with Vick, and his father beat them both so badly. Hazelle begged him not to, but newly pregnant with Posy, she didn't get in his way. Moved by his mother's tears and his brothers' cries, Gale finally grabbed his dad's arm to make him stop.

The beating Gale got after that was the worse on he'd had in his life. Ever since that day, Gale'd waited for the time when he'd be big and strong enough to make his father stand down—and he wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that he never got to see that day pass.

Gale promised himself he'd never be like that. Once, after his father died, Vick had broken the canister with flour in it, and when Gale scolded him, Vick recoiled, like he was about to be struck. Gale'd never hit any of this brothers, but the way Vick had looked at him, the fact that Vick had thought Gale might...It broke Gale's heart.

Sometimes, Gale was able to convince himself that it was the history of his father's abuse, not the display of his own anger, that caused Vick to look at him that way, caused him to whimper and trembled. But now, looking at Katniss, remembering the day, he wasn't so sure.

"Katniss, you know I'd never hurt you," Gale said urgently, taking her face in his hands and meeting her eyes.

"What?" Gale had never told Katniss any of this about his family. She didn't realize or understand his fear as she was still swimming in her own, thinking she wasn't good enough for Gale or their baby.

"I don't want you to be afraid of me. I don't want you to ever think that I'd—" Gale couldn't even make himself say the words.

"What are you talking about?" Katniss asked again, confused as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Katniss," Gale spoke carefully, for her sake as much as his. It hurt him to say this, "were you afraid...you weren't afraid I'd hit you?"

"What?" Katniss was so deeply buried in her own thoughts, she was rattled to hear this, almost certain she misheard him. "What are you talking about?" She suddenly looked him in the eyes, her own sadness forgotten by the shock of his question. "No, Gale, of course not," she said, seeing the horror and guilt in his eyes and gaining clarity now that she was able to focus on him.

Gale let out a deep breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. He grabbed her tightly and held her. Katniss slowly realized how worried he was that she thought this. "Gale, why would you think I'd think that?"

Gale tried to recover with a soft grin, but he could quickly see that it wasn't enough to dissuade Katniss. He folded her into his arms again and held her tight, "You know I never would. I'll never be so angry we can't talk again, I promise." He swore this to himself as much as he did her.

"Gale, what's wrong?" She echoed his earlier question, the same concern crossing her face that did his.

Gale realized this and let out a slight laugh. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. "It looks like we both have a bit of explaining to do. We're partners, right?"

Katniss nodded.

"We're partners in everything now, not just hunting but in love, life...it we're going to have each other's backs, we need to understand each other."

Katniss started at him wide-eyed, not exactly understanding.

"You never told me how bad the Games were," he kissed her knuckles again, trying not to sound accusatory, but wanting her to know he needed help understanding.

"Did I have to?" she half chuckled.

"Fair point," he said. "But Katniss, I'd no idea…"

"Okay," she pulled away a bit, half ashamed. "I didn't know it would happen. I haven't had a nightmare in so long…" She was trying not to reflect back on the horrors of the day.

"I'm sorry I…" Gale wasn't quite sure what the right word was… "I didn't know I'd have that effect on you."

"Well," she huffed, "you had a lot of valid points," she turned to him, "I wasn't thinking at all, I was just reacting, doing…."

Gale gently leaned in and kissed her. "It's okay," he said, holding her face delicately in his palm. "I understand."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Katniss, I get it." He said comfortingly, "but Katniss, you're impulsive, and that's one of the things I love about you. It's the reason you were able to save Prim, and yourself, and, as your mother so astutely pointed out, me too. But, you're pregnant now, and I know you never wanted kids, I know you don't want to be a mom…"

"Gale!" Katniss said aghast, like he was accusing her of something awful.

"No, Katniss, it's okay, you've told me this a number of times, and," he took a heavy breath, "I have to accept that. But while you are pregnant, you have to think…"

"No, Gale!" she jumped as she said it, the words surprising her as much as they did him. She protectively put her hand over her stomach, instinctively guarding it as she remembered the image of the little face that she saw on the doctor's screen and the sound of the heartbeat. She was suddenly filled with the instinct to fight anyone who would try to take her child from her, even Gale. But that feeling faded as quickly as it flashed, and she was suddenly filled with doubt. "Are you saying...do you not want me to…" The tears were returning to her eyes as she prepared herself to hear that he didn't want her to be involved with their child. And after what she'd done today, she couldn't blame him.

"Katniss," Gale said, sensing her concern, but knowing it's cause, "I want you to do whatever you want to do, but while you're pregnant at least, you can't just go running off after danger, even if it's to save somebody else."

"I know," she said, still not realizing Gale wasn't telling her she wasn't a fit parent. "And I won't do anything to endanger the child, I swear, but, I want to at least see her…sometimes..."

"See her? what are you talking about?"

"I understand if you don't think I'm going to be a good parent, and I know I won't be as good as you...but…" Katniss's eyes started to fill with tears again and she felt her heart tremble, "I want her to at least…" she started to choke on her words.

"Katniss," Gale brought her back into his arms, "what are you talking about? I'm not going to take our child from you."

"You're not?"

As Gale looked at her, he suddenly realized the full implications of how powerless going into the Games must have made her feel. "Of course not. And I'm not going to let anyone else for that matter."

"Yeah?" she said brightly.

"Of course, Katniss...how could you think…" Gale shook his head, "I think you're going to be a great mother. I know you'll be," he said, leaning in to kiss her. "I thought, because you didn't want kids, I wasn't sure how you felt about…"

"That was before, Gale! I didn't know how it'd feel...but I've felt her now."

"Yeah?" Gale said, smiling as he placed one of his hands on her stomach.

"Yeah," Katniss said, reclining happily, "I've seen her. I've heard her heartbeat!"

Gale didn't understand what she was talking about at first, having not heard yet about her trip to the doctors, "what?"

"At the doctors, Oh!" she suddenly got excited, "I didn't get to tell you, Gale, they have the machine, I want you to come with me next time. I asked for a picture, but they couldn't give me one, for you, I mean…but there's this device, and you can see the baby, oh, Gale, you would have loved it."

It took Gale a second to process what Katniss was saying, but once he did, he beamed. "Really?" His heart was brimming with joy, not only at the idea of being able to see his child, but also because Katniss was so excited. Gale wrapped his arms around Katniss and pulled her into a kiss.

"God, Katniss, that's incredible," pulling away and settling next to her, happiness flooding over him as he let himself imagine them being a family. The rest of it didn't matter to Gale in that moment-not Peeta, not the rebellion, not the Capitol, somehow, they'd figure it out. They always did.

"Yeah," she said, looking down at her curved stomach, "I mean, ever since I've been filling her move, it's been hard for me not to think of her as my child, not to want to protect her...I guess before that...all I could think about was how inconvenient pregnancy was, how uncomfortable…"

Gale laughed slightly as he slid his arm around Katniss. "I can understand that."

"It just took me some time. But, I kind of like being pregnant now."

"Really?"

"It's not so bad. I'm not too big, and I think this belly is kind of cute. And, with the morning sickness gone…it's not so bad."

Gale leaned in and kissed her again. He felt so happy now, he couldn't believe the day had started where it did.

"I mean, I'm not saying it's fun exactly...but, now that I can feel her, I guess it seems more worth it."

Gale chuckled again. "So you're still certain it's a girl?"

"Yep," she said without a hint of doubt. "Why? Do you want a boy?"

"I don't care in the least. I just want a healthy baby. And you."

Katniss curled closer to him. "You've got me."

"I know," Gale said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll do a better job of remembering that in the future, I promise."

"So you're really not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad," he told her sincerely.

Katniss laid her head against his shoulder and he could feel her nod against his skin. "But you were."

"Yes," Gale admitted, "I was. But I'll work on that too, I promise."

"I'll be better too," she said, still looking at her stomach. She was promising this to the child as much, if not more than Gale.

Gale kissed her on the top of her head. "You don't have to be better, Catnip...just...more careful."

"Yeah," Katniss said, somewhat absently as she still looked at her stomach. She wasn't sure how to do that and was trying to figure this out.

"And I really do think it will be good for us to talk about things, to make sure we're on the same page."

Gale realized that their world had almost always just consisted of each other...out in the woods, alone...now, they had to deal with the whole world. It'd be an adjustment, but they could make it.

"Okay," Katniss said, trying to figure out what exactly she needed to tell Gale. She rolled onto her side a bit, wishing she could lie on her stomach but no longer able to do so, "you're not really jealous of Peeta, are you?"

Gale let out a tense breath. He still didn't like hearing his name, "no, I'm not jealous."

"But?" Katniss knew there was a but.

"But," Gale laughed slightly, "but, the idea of you with him bothers me...the idea of you with him in the Games...and," Gale swallowed hard and felt his body tense, "if you ever have to be with him again…"

"It'd only be for show."

Gale huffed, that hardly made it better. "I know, I'd be able to deal."

"And I won't tell anyone the baby is his."

Gale huffed again, recalling his conversation with Beetee and Haymitch. "Well, people might just assume that anyway," he conceded, "and it honestly might be safest to let them assume that…"

"What?"

Gale relayed the conversation he had earlier to her.

"Oh," she said disappointedly when he finished.

"Yeah," he said like he was admitting a defeat, "let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"You don't think it will, do you? Not if the rebellion wins?"

Gale wasn't really certain how far-reaching the implications of Katniss's onscreen love affair would be. But he was certain they could retreat into some quiet life once everything was over. That'd probably be what they both wanted anyway.

"I think that once the rebellion starts, and when it wins, most the people in the nation will have more important things to worry about than your love life."

"Yeah," she laughed slightly, not caring in the least what the rest of the world thought of her. In this moment, all she cared about was Gale. "I really am sorry, you know."

"I know, Catnip," he said, scratching her hair slightly, "I'm sorry too."

"Yeah…" They sat in silence for a few moment. Katniss nuzzled closer to Gale, closing her eyes and enjoying his touch. "Wait," she suddenly asked, eyes flashing open, "what are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry I got so mad. Sorry I reacted so poorly. Sorry I," he hesitated a second, "scared you."

Katniss turned over on her side and propped herself up on her elbow, sensing how heavily this weighed on him. "Gale…why is this…" She wasn't even sure what her question was, "Why are you so worried?"

Katniss had never been afraid of Gale before, and from everything she'd seen, his anger had always been justified. Even what she observed between him and his siblings. He'd only been mad at her a few times—back when she'd just found out she was pregnant and now—and she'd definitely tried both his patience and forgiveness those times.

"Gale, I was so afraid today because I thought what I'd done was too awful, not because I thought you were too angry or unfair…"

"That still doesn't excuse my behavior," he said, taking her hand and looking at her in the eyes, "I shouldn't have done what I did, said what I said. I should have been able to talk to you about it."

"But Gale, I—"

He shook his head and put his fingers to her lips. "I love you and you're having my child. You didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you today. I've no excuse, I'm sorry."

Katniss crinkled her brow, she clearly thought Gale was being too hard on himself. "Why are you—"

"Katniss," he said, looking away but knowing he owed her an explanation, especially since he'd just told her how important communication and understanding was, "my father was a very angry man. He had a temper, a…a very bad temper. I don't ever want you or our child to be afraid of me the way I was of him." He rolled over on his side and looked deeply into her eyes, "I don't ever want you to be afraid I'll hurt you or leave you or do anything but love you and support you. And I left you today...you wanted to talk, and I left—"

"Gale," Katniss said, slowly comprehending what he'd just said. She pulled his face to her chest and wrapped her arms around him, "Gale?" she said again, finally realizing exactly what he meant. "Your father...he beat you?"

"He'd say he disciplined us."

"But Gale…" Gale never spoke much about his father, but Katniss had always assumed it was because the loss hurt too much, like hers did. "Gale," she said again, taking his face and kissing him deeply, hoping some how she could undo or even make up for whatever hurt he felt. "How bad was it?"

"It wasn't that bad."

"Gale," Katniss knew he was deflecting.

"It's fine, Katniss."

"Is it?"

"Well, it's not going to change, so it might as well be. My father wasn't an awful man...he was just…"

"He hurt you."

Gale didn't want to admit that. "He also loved me."

"I'm sure he did, but, Gale…" Katniss knew how some parents in the Seam treated their children. She remembered the kids from school who always seemed to limp or have hurt sides. There was one family-the Haywoods-she remembered how many times her mother'd treated their children, and even the mother sometimes...a broken nose, a busted lip, a broken wrist…Katniss's mom had told her to leave. And go where? The woman'd said. And do what? Starve?

Katniss had no idea what'd become of that family. But she remembered the shadows she saw swimming in the kids' eyes, how they trembled when the wind shook doors closed.

"How bad was it, Gale?" She asked, turning to him and taking his hands in hers.

"It wasn't." Katniss knew he wasn't lying, but she also knew he wasn't being truthful. She just wasn't certain if the deception was for her sake or his own.

She pulled his face to her chest and held him now, wishing she could somehow make things better. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You already do enough," Gale said, pulling her close and pressing her to him. Her just being there made everything better.


	30. Chapter 30

Gale and Katniss woke up still in each other's arms the next morning to the sound of their alarms. Katniss groaned unhappily, not wanting to wake up as Gale silenced the device on his wrist.

"What time is it?" she said groggily.

Gale's muscles protested as he pulled his arm out from under her to check.

"6:00," he said, moving her gently with his other hand to comfortably hold her again.

Katniss let out a long grumbling protest. She did not want to get up. "What time do we have to be…" she let the sentence trail off, she didn't know where they both had to be.

Gale grabbed her and pulled her close. He knew he had to be at training by 7:00. He looked at her cuff, "you have to be at the studio at 9:00."

She mumbled non-committedly as she rolled over.

Gale smiled. He didn't want to to get out of bed and leave her, but he was happy that she got to sleep in a little while longer.

They were both exhausted as they'd stayed up late talking-Gale asked Katniss about the Games in greater detail and the nightmares she'd had after. She, reluctantly at first, began telling him things, and then opened up and told him almost everything. In turn, she asked Gale about how he felt, when she volunteered, when she had to kiss Peeta, when she first came back…

For two people who already knew each other better than most, they certainly learned a lot about each other that night.

"Do you have to get up now?" she asked, face pressed half into a pillow and body pushed close to Gale's.

"Yeah," he said, rubbing her back.

"Are you going to breakfast?"

"Yeah," Gale said. As much as he wanted to stay in bed with Katniss a little longer, he couldn't forego food. Not after the workout he'd put himself through yesterday.

"Do you want me to go with you?" She practically mumbled into the sheets.

"Nah," he leaned in to kiss her, "You get more sleep."

"Mmmhmmmkay." Katniss mumbled into the sheets.

Gale stroked her cheek and smiled as he pulled himself away to get ready.

The sharp cry of the alarm woke Katniss up two hours later. She jolted when she realized Gale wasn't there with her, but quickly remembered him leaving earlier. She sluggishly dragged her legs out of bed and moved to get ready. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to prepare for whatever it was she had to do that day, and she also wasn't sure she really cared.  
But Katniss remembered that she'd promised the President she'd do her part, and she'd put a lot on the line with that promise, so she was going to do whatever she had to to make it work.

She went to the bathroom and brushed her hair and washed her face before putting on one of assigned jumped she had to wear and heading to breakfast. Katniss ate alone and quickly and made her way to the studio, located on level D, hall 8-A. She wanted to give herself plenty of time to find it, and hoped arriving soon would imply her cooperation. As she turned down the hall, she found Haymitch waiting for her outside the door.

"Morning, Sweetheart," he said almost too cheerily.

"What do you want?"

Haymitch chuckled and shook his head as he pushed open the door.

Inside was a small prep room, not unlike what she faced in the Capitol, but also, entirely different. It wasn't nearly as high-tech, but had all of the accoutrements necessary for styling. Two women and one man stood before her. The same could be said about them. They definitely were not from the Capitol, but they moved with the same strange air of importance she  
recalled in Flavius, Octavia and Venia, and, they looked at her with the same look of shock, disgust, and pity.

"Well, we certainly have our work cut out for us," the taller woman said matter-of-factly.

"She doesn't look anything like Cinna's drawings," the other girl whispered to the first  
loudly.

Katniss sighed indifferently and walked towards them.

"Alright then," Haymitch said, clapping his hands together, "Katniss, this is your prep team, of sorts," he equivocated.

"I'm Dem," the man said, delicately extending his hand to hers. Katniss wasn't quite sure if this was a particular mannerism of his, or if he just didn't want to touch her. She softly grabbed his fingers and briefly shook his hand. "This is Chloe and Jessa." Only one of the women raised her hand to wave slightly.

"Cinna's left  
his sketches and instructions with them, so they'll be trying out a few looks on you today to see which covers you up best."

"Oh," Katniss said, her hands moving to cover her stomach as if it would help.

"It's fine, sweetheart, we all make mistakes," he said, swatting the air, "let's just see what fits you."

She winced at his words, but tried not to show it. "Is Cinna here?" She asked, trying not to sound too excited as she did, remembering how he made her feel better when she had to prepare for the Games. Katniss knew she wasn't about to reenter the Games, but she couldn't deny her sense of foreboding was similar.

"No," Haymitch said, "he's trying to contact Peeta."

_Oh,_ Katniss didn't dare say, but thought. She swallowed heavily and changed the subject. "Are we filming today?"

"No. Plutarch is still working on the script."

"Is that why he's not here?"

"No," Haymitch said, sounding more annoyed with each question, "He had to go back to  
the Capitol."

"Oh." She couldn't help but notice that Haymitch seemed distracted. She wasn't sure if he was just uncomfortably sober or if something was really bothering him.

"But he should be sending it through tonight."

"Okay. Well, I'm ready to film whenever you are," she added, trying to sound brighter, more cooperative.

"That's just great," he said in a tone she also couldn't place. She was about to ask Haymitch what was wrong when he excused himself. "Well, you all know what to do," he said, waving dismissively more than good bye as he headed out the door. "Make sure you get the proofs sent off to Cinna soon so he can approve them for Beetee."

Katniss briefly considered asking what Haymitch meant by that, but decided not to push Haymitch for any more. As the door rattled shut, Katniss looked at her team. "Hi," she said in what she hoped was a friendly manner.

"Well," the tall woman said, looking her up and down, "let's see what we can do with you."

Katniss was familiar with this process, so she let them go about their business, and tried not to let their comments bother her, though the women were not kind and the man was a bit more honest than he needed to be.

"We're going to have to take these pants out another inch or two," he said, looking her up  
and down, "we didn't know you'd be this big."

"Sorry," Katniss whispered, barely audible.

This process was less intense and involved than the Capitol's, but more or less the same. They bathed her, foregoing in waxing and preening she'd received before the Games, and did her hair then applied makeup. The man was the chattiest, while the two women mostly complained and criticized her. He told her about how excited he was to be doing this work. He'd apparently  
come from Five. He and his family were tailors by trade, and he was happy to be doing something similar to that again.

"When we arrived and told them we were tailors, they sent us to work in the laundry room, can you believe that?" He said with a slight chuckle.

Katniss didn't know what to say so she smiled gently in return.

"When Cinna told us he needed alterations on these suits, I jumped right to it. Now, let's see how it looks," he said, grabbing the first outfit as the women finished applying her make up.

Katniss tried on five outfits in total. They were all black and fit with varying degrees of success. She wore vests and coats to cover her stomach, which did look remarkably smaller in the dark suit. The shorter girl—she never did figure out which name belonged to which woman—took several photos of her in each outfit, standing in different poses and occasionally holding props like her bow. She'd forgotten how good it felt in her hand and found herself  
itching to shoot an arrow.

It took a ridiculous amount of time for her to get in and out of each suit, and her team had to make several small adjustments on each to best hide her stomach. Almost four hours had passed when they took the last photo.

"Okay, and turn to your left," the short woman said. Katniss complied, "now stare directly into the camera." She did that as well. The camera flashed. "Perfect."

"Let's get you out of that thing now and back into some comfortable clothes," Dem said, extending his hand to help Katniss. She wasn't quite sure, but she thought she liked him.

"Thanks."

Dem led her to the changing station and helped loosen the outfit and unzip her. Katniss emerged a few minutes later having finally gotten herself back into her jumpsuit. She found the three preppers standing around a desk looking at the photos they'd taken of her.

Katniss was shocked when she saw them.

"Oh my god," she said, hardly believing it.

"I know girl," Dem said playfully bumping into her, "you look fierce."

And Katniss didn't just look fierce, she looked fearless and fit. Not pregnant in the least. The shape of the suit combined with the dark colors, vests, jackets and angles of the photos made her look as slim as ever.

"Wow," was all she could say.

"I know," Dem said, still sounding happy. "I think I like suit three and four best, what about you?"

"One's also good," the tall woman said, her tone still cold. This woman was either incapable of emotions or all business. Katniss realized that as either a refugee or life-long occupant of Thirteen, either could be the case and responded sympathetically. "But the second one's the worst."

"I agree," Dem said. And the short girl nodded. He tossed those photos aside.

"I like three a lot in this photo," the short girl said, "but it doesn't look good from the  
sides."

"Oh, yeah," Dem agreed, sounding disappointed as he examined the other photos. "That's too bad because it's killer from straight on."

"They won't always be able to have her staring on," the tall woman said, pushing number  
three in the reject pile with number two.

"What about the fifth one?"

"Know," the tall woman said definitively again, "you can see she's pregnant there, look at how the light hits her stomach. That material doesn't do a good job of hiding her at all."

Dem and the other girl murmured in agreement, and Katniss couldn't help but feel she should  
apologize again.

They continued debating a bit more honestly than they needed to be, Katniss thought, for a few more minutes and finally decided to forward the photos of the first and fourth suit on to Cinna.

"I'll make sure he gets them tonight," the tall woman said officiously; she seemed to have something to prove by doing this job well. And with that, she snatched the photos up and left the room.

"Alright, well, we'll be seeing you tomorrow then," Dem said sweetly as he bid Katniss goodbye. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Ms. Everdeen."

"Yeah," Katniss said, taking his hand as delicately as she did the first time and squeezing softly.

"You have a great evening, dear," he said, turning to leave. "Night, Chlo!"

"Bye," the short girl said as she packed up her things. "Bye," she said again, this time to Katniss, as she headed out the door.

Katniss raised her hand to wave, not that the girl was looking, and suddenly found herself alone when her communicuff beeped, telling her it was dinner time.

As she walked to the cafeteria, she decided to stop by her mother and sister's quarters to see if they wanted to join her. And, she figured that after everything that'd happened yesterday, she should probably check in with her mom. Katniss hadn't sorted through how she felt about needing her mother's support so much the day before, but she was happy her mother'd been there.

As Katniss walked down the hall to her mother and sister's room, she passed two women who  
kept looking at her. As she got closer, she thought she recognized them. They were from Twelve, from town, she was pretty sure, but she knew them. She could almost feel their eyes burning through her and was about to stop and say hi when she caught their conversation.

"No, not at all. I can't believe it, can you?"

"Those Seam girls..."

It was then Katniss realized that their eyes weren't on her, exactly, but her stomach.

"Such a disgrace."

She froze in her tracks as they passed her by searching for something to say, to throw back at them, but she didn't know what she could, so she tried her hardest to push those words from her thoughts as she approached her family's door.

"Hi," she said as her mother answered.

"Katniss, dear, I'm so glad to see you looking well. Would you like to come in?"

"I actually wanted to see if you and Prim wanted to go to dinner?"

Anise smiled faintly. "Prim's already gone…." Katniss arched her eyebrow in a question. "With Torry."

"She must really like that boy."

"I think she does."

"Do you like him?" Katniss suddenly felt the sisterly urge to check in.

"He's very sweet. And smart too," Anise added, "he's very helpful in the clinic."

Katniss nodded, supposing that was good, and she made a point of getting to know Torry  
a bit better. Maybe she could still catch them in the cafeteria. "Have you eaten, mom?"

Anise was visibly shocked by her daughter's invitation, and Katniss could see it on her face, though she wasn't certain how to interpret her mother's reaction. _Did she not want to eat with her?_

"You don't have to come with me," Katniss quickly tried to recover.

"No, honey, I'd love to," Anise said, smiling as she grabbed her things.

Katniss was a bit disappointed when she didn't see her sister in the cafeteria, but she and her mom had a pleasant conversation. Anise only asked Katniss once if thing were fine between her and Gale, and when Katniss said yes, she didn't press the matter, which Katniss appreciated.

"And you feel fine? I mean, physically? With the baby?"

"Yeah, I think so," Katniss said.

"Good," Anise said, turning to the potatoes on her plate, "I assumed there wouldn't be any lingering effects, but I just wanted to make sure."

Katniss nodded and smiled, watching her mother closely. She was trying to hide it, but she cared. Katniss suddenly wondered how much else her mother had hidden caring about over the years, how much of it Katniss hadn't noticed. But Katniss didn't get into all that now.

Instead, she asked her mom about the clinic and told her about Haymitch's rough mood.

"I think things are very hard on him, honey, but he does his best to help."

"Yeah," Katniss agreed as they walked up to put their dishes away. She knew her mother's assessment was true, she just wasn't sure what it meant for their current predicament.

Katniss followed her mother back to her room hoping to see Prim. "She's still not  
back?"

Anise exhaled softly. An emotion also crossed her face, but it wasn't the surprise that was on her daughter's. Anise knew very well what Prim was up to. Katniss suddenly wondered if she should have a talk with her sister. She found it hard to imagine Prim would be doing anything then she felt her own child move within her and wasn't sure what she could say to her sister. _Was her own pregnancy some sort of permission? Or rather a stern warning?_

"Is she out late often?" Katniss asked.

Anise recomposed herself and smiled. "Not too late. They do have a curfew here, but…"

"A bit later than you'd like?" Katniss asked.

Her mother nodded but shrugged as if there was nothing she could do about it. Katniss was about to tell her mom to establish some rules with Prim, remind her what time she should be home by. But then Katniss realized what she would have done had her mother ever said anything like that to her.

"Well, tell Prim I said hi."

"I will, dear."

"Night, mom."

"Good night."

* * *

When Katniss got back to her room, Gale was sitting at the table, studying.

"Hey," she said walking up to him.

"Hey," he said back, looping an arm around her and kissing her. "Where've you been?"

"I had dinner with my mom."

"Oh?" Gale too noticed this was out of the ordinary. He wondered what Anise had to say about him after everything that happened yesterday. But he couldn't read anything about it on Katniss's face and didn't press for details. "How's your mom?"

"She's fine," Katniss said, sitting down on the bed and taking off her shoes.

"And how was your day?" Gale asked, setting his pencil down and turning to watch her.

"Fine too, I guess. I tried on outfits and they took photos."

"Nice," Gale said, happy she wasn't doing anything too taxing, or dangerous.

"And your day?" She asked, walking back over to him. She messaged his shoulders  
gently and Gale let out a satisfied sight.

"I had class  
all day. I've got to learn all this," he picked up the thick notebook  
before him, "by Friday if I want to pass out of training."

"I'm sure you can do it," Katniss said, not doubting Gale's capabilities in the least.

His brows knit together, shading his face slightly. It wasn't going to be easy, but he was making good progress. "On the plus side, I passed out of any more physical tests."

"Nice," Katniss said, not surprised in the least. She kept messaging Gale's shoulders as he told her more about his day, but her mind started to wonder back to Prim. Prim was a sweet, smart girl, but Katniss had hardly seen her since she'd arrived. _Surely Prim couldn't have changed all that much, could she have?_

"What can you tell me about fourteen year old boys?"

Gale laughed. "What do you want to know, Catnip?" He pulled Katniss around to his  
front and brought her to his lap.

"Are they dangerous?"

"Not unless they have guns."

Katniss exhaled irritatedly. She didn't realize he had no idea what she was talking about. "Gale," she said with a heavy breath.

"Sorry, what type of fourteen year old boys are you talking about?"

"The ones who want to date my sister."

"Ahh." Now he understood. "The boy…"

"Yeah…"

"What was his name?"

"Torry."

"And you want to know if he's trouble?" Gale asked

"Yeah. She's been out late with him every night."

"Ahh," Gale said, considering the information. "I'm sure it's innocent."

Katniss raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Were you always innocent when you were out with girls at that age?"

Gale wasn't expecting that remark and hid he surprise with a laugh. "Yeah," he said a bit more shakily than he meant to. And Katniss noticed. "I mean…I wasn't having sex or anything, if that's what you're asking."

"I know," Katniss said, "but there's a lot in between innocence and sex, right?"

"Yeah," Gale admitted, as he rubbed Katniss's legs affectionately. He noticed it didn't seem to calm her. "Katniss, Prim's smart, she's not going to get into any trouble…"

"Like me?"

"What?" It took him a moment to follow her logic, but he quickly caught it: she thought she was stupid for getting pregnant. It was a hard thought for her to avoid, especially after spending most of the day being crammed into suits designed to cover her mistake up. "Katniss—" He said with a frown, pulling her closer, "that's not what I meant."

"No, but it's still true," she said, getting up and pulling herself away.

Gale was quick to follow and grabbed her arm. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Katniss tried to dismiss the thoughts, suddenly feeling emotional and  
not wanting to get into it.

"Katniss…no one thinks you're stupid."

"No one?" She said sharply, recalling Haymitch's words from earlier that day:

_We all make mistakes._

And the ladies in the hall:

_Such a disgrace._

Gale's eyes searched hers, trying to comprehend. But Katniss looked away. She didn't want to get into it. "Nothing," she said, turning away again. "I'm going to take a shower. I want to get all this makeup off my face." She hesitated before she stepped away and decided to lean in and  
kiss Gale, hoping that reassured him.

He was still trying to figure out what to say when she shut the door and turned on the water.  
He stared at the closed door for several minutes and put his face in his hands and sighed heavily. He tried to riddle out what she was feeling, but since he couldn't be certain, he resolved to try and reassure her when she came out and returned to his studies.

Gale only had two more tests to complete now that'd he finished all the physical ones before  
he was done with training: The History and The Protocol tests. The Protocol was pretty easy for him. Instead of looking at it like a bunch of facts he had to memorize, Gale studied it like a system, and once he'd uncovered the logic behind all the rules and regulations here, it was almost common sense. Gale'd realized as a child that _fear_ had been the originator of most of the Capitol's laws, not protection like they'd claimed. Once he'd realized that, he understood how everything worked. It was no different here except _survival_ rather than _fear_ was what motivated them. Almost all their laws were geared to keeping the population alive. This meant more than the occasional sacrifice of personal liberties, but it wasn't like Gale was used to having any of those back in Twelve, so he honestly couldn't complain. He just had to learn which names went to which laws, and there was a numeric and alphabetical system in place for that, so Gale had it almost entirely figured out.

The history was proving to be a bit more challenging for him. It'd always been least favorite subject in school too. Unfortunately, the president's names didn't go in alphabetical order, but he was finding there was a certain logic to how it went the more he studied, patterns in their policies and so on. He was trying to come up with a mnemonic for the generals before Pierce  
when Katniss came out of the shower.

She was drying her hair with a small towel and a robe was draped loosely over her body and the wetness of her skin made it stick to her every curve. Gale couldn't help but smile as he saw her nipples through the light fabric and her stomach almost pushing out. It turned him on.

Gale got up and walked over to her. "You're so beautiful," he said, leaning in for a deep kiss and sliding his hand down the opening of her robe to caress her soft body.

It only took Gale a moment to realize Katniss wasn't kissing him back. He pulled back and looked down at her with concern.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, avoiding his eyes and walking over to the bed.

But she didn't fool Gale. He reached out for her hand, pulling her to look at him. "Catnip?"

"Gale," she said, struggling to keep her emotions at bay.

"What?" Gale said, caught off guard and not quite understanding but sensing her  
unease.

"I'm just not in the mood, okay?"

He assumed she meant being romantic, and he immediately loosened his grip on her. "Is this still about Prim?" He asked, remembering what she'd said right before her shower and linking her questions about her sister's romantic activity with the results of theirs.

"No!" she said, getting more annoyed both because he was wrong and because she didn't  
want to think about it. "It's nothing, Gale, I'm just—" She saw the concern in his eyes and immediately felt bad. It wasn't his fault and she knew she shouldn't be taking it out on him. "Sorry, I just…I spent most of the day trying on clothes that barely fit me, all because of this," she loosely gestured to her stomach, "trying to hide it, feeling horrible I had it, and I…" She could see him slowly understanding, "I just don't want to be told I'm beautiful, okay? I don't feel that way. I feel huge and stupid and…" her voice caught as she recalled what the two women had said as they walked past her. They hadn't made her feel huge or stupid they made her feel disgraceful. She'd never wondered if she was disgraceful before, and now as she did, the tears starting spilling from her eyes. Gale quickly moved to comfort her when there  
was a sharp knock on the door. Katniss pushed him away, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes and motioning for him to answer it.

"Gale, honey, I'm so glad you're here." It was his mother. "I haven't seen you in days."

Gale turned to Katniss who still had her back to the door. She was tightening her robe around her.

"Hey, mom, it's good to see you." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Katniss just got out of the shower," he said, "let's talk in the hall." He stepped forward, slowly pushing his mother out.

"But honey, I wanted to see her," Hazelle said, craning her neck past Gale. But he still moved forward and shut the door. "I haven't even seen her yet," she said eagerly, "or the baby."

Gale exhaled, hearing the notes of excitement in his mother's voice and uncertain about Katniss's mood regarding said baby. "Gee, mom, and here I thought you were here to see me?" he said, flashing a smile and hoping he'd distracted his mother.

Hazelle opened her mouth and hesitated for a second. She then reached out and stroked Gale's arm. "Well," she said, eyeing him pointedly, "I don't think it's too much for a mother to ask to see the son that went missing for months…"

Gale exhaled with a smile. She was playing the guilt card; he guessed he deserved it. "It hasn't been that long,"

"I've seen you twice since you've been back," she said, her gaze scolding, "in six months. Not a very promising average…"

"Okay, okay…why don't we have dinner tomorrow night?"

Hazelle looked like she was considering it, as if she were haggling, "Dinner sounds nice."

"Great. Katniss will love that," he added, not sure why, but hoping it appeased his mother, and also, was true. He leaned down and pecked her on the cheek, "look, mom, I've got a lot of studying to do tonight before I go to bed…"

"So you want me to leave?"

"I didn't say that," he smiled.

"But I can take a hint. We'll see you at dinner tomorrow. I'll bring the family."

"Sounds great," Gale said, honestly smiling, and waving goodbye as his mom turned away.

Katniss was sitting on the bed and looking at him curiously when he came back in. "What did your mom want?" said in a flat tone he couldn't quite read. She's managed to calm herself while he was outside, but she was still in a strange mood.

"She just wanted to check in. I didn't realize I hadn't talked to her in a few days…"

"Oh."

"I thought maybe we could have dinner with her tomorrow," Gale said carefully, still trying to read her.

"Yeah, I guess that's good."

"Great," he smiled, but Katniss remained blank. Her stared at her for a few more moments, trying to figure out what she was thinking, what he should say. "Catnip…"

"It's fine, Gale, just go ahead and study."

"No," he said. Her tone told him something was truly up, and he wasn't going to ignore it. Not after everything they'd discussed the day before.

"What?" She said sharply, her voice rising with anger.

"Something's bothering you, Katniss."

"Yeah," she began to get huffy, " _you_."

He shook his head. "I just want you to tell me what's bothering…"

"And _I_ don't want to tell you. Can't you respect that? Talking about it won't make it better. You can't make it better…" Those words hit Gale harder than she meant them too. She caught the look on his face and immediately felt bad. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's alright," he said, "you've got a fair point. I want you to tell me things because you want me to, not because I'm forcing you to. I'm sorry I was pushing." He kissed her on the head very softly and returned to his seat to work.

Katniss exhaled heavily, wondering if she should say something. She thought about thanking Gale for realizing she didn't want to say anything, for understanding that forcing her to speak would make it worse. But by the time she'd realized this, she thought too much time had passed and didn't interrupt him. So instead, she settled herself comfortably in the bed, and tried to come to terms with the events of the day so they wouldn't bother her.

Haymitch was always grumpy, so she could let that pass, and after what her mom had told her about how much pressure she was under, she could forgive him. The prep team, well, they weren't exactly mean, just too honest about her size. She let her hands trail over her stomach and accepted she'd have to come terms with that. As she pressed one of her hands to her belly, she felt a small flutter and smiled. She thought perhaps her baby was trying to encourage her, and suddenly she didn't care how her outfit fit her, or how much work her team had to do to accommodate it. That was their job. They had to do theirs just like she had to do hers.

She found her smile growing as she kept thinking it over, feeling empowered by this new realization, her child within seemingly urging her on. She rolled on her side, finally feeling better about the day, knowing this was what mattered most, not what Haymitch, her prep team, or stupid old ladies said.

"Are you coming to bed soon?" she asked threw a thick yawn.

Gale dropped his pencil and smiled at the sight of her. "Yeah, I think I've crammed enough for one night."

He got up from his chair and stripped off his shirt before climbing into bed with her. He sat down next to her and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "God, Katniss, you're…"

One of her eyes immediately shot open and glared at him. "Don't tell me I'm beautiful," she warned.

Gale chuckled softly. "I love you," he said instead.

"That wasn't what you were going to say," she told him.

"I love you," he said again, sliding next to her, scooting one of his arms beneath her, and pulling her close. "I love you," he said again, still smiling and leaning down to kiss her now that her face was on his shoulder. "I love you."


	31. Chapter 31

Gale woke up early the next morning to do a bit more studying before heading to class. Katniss sighed as he silently slipped past her, and he leaned in to kiss her and the baby good bye before leaving.

Her alarm woke her up an hour later, and she went to the prep room where Haymitch informed her that Cinna'd approved the suit and only made a few alterations.

"So let's get you suited up, Sweetheart, we're heading out to shoot in an hour."

Katniss didn't even bother to ask for more details as she went to get ready. She was surprised to learn that her team wasn't putting her in the Mockingjay suit today, but rather something closer to what she wore in Twelve. She was put into corduroy pants, a loose long sleeve top, and a vest. It was actually quite comfortable, though more than a bit warm for the season.

Once her team had suited her up, Haymitch met her in the hall. She noticed he was also in relaxed clothing.

"Wow," he said with a slight whistle, "you almost look...not pregnant."

"Yeah," she said with a showy smile fit for Caesar, "those guys can really work wonders in there. They might be able to make you look almost not stupid."

A laugh escaped Haymitch's lips that seemed to surprise him. "Good one, sweetheart, now come on, we've got a hovercraft to catch."

"A hovercraft?"

"Yep, we're shooting in the woods today."

Katniss hadn't thought about it, but now that she did, she realized how happy returning to the forest made her. She felt alive outside again, breathing fresh air, feeling the sun on her skin, the wind in her hair. She wished she could take some of it back for Gale and wondered how he was faring as he sat cooped up in a classroom, memorizing codes and protocols. As she imagined what he was doing, she knew exactly how he was doing, and she didn't know how he did it. Working in the mines, and now here…She didn't know how she became the face of the rebellion, how she inspired courage, strength, power. Hers was nothing compared to his.

She and Haymitch met a small film crew in the woods. The director and cameramen were already there.

"Hi, I'm Jocer," a tall, well-built man said. He had a long, full, stylize beard that Katniss imagined some would consider attractive, though she didn't, and his hair was pulled back in a short ponytail. His neck, chest, and arms were heavily tattooed and easily visible through his loose t-shirt. "I'll be photographing you today. This is Max and Trigo," he said, gesturing towards a man and a woman to his left. Max, the woman, had dark blue hair, and wore a lot of dark makeup. Katniss imagined she was the sort of woman who never smiled, though it seemed out of effort rather than circumstance. Trigo had red hair and deep scarring on the left side of his face and arms—they appeared to be from flames. His left eye way even red-permanently blood shot. There was something wild about him. Despite his fierce look, he had a friendly disposition about him that Katniss felt she could trust. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Jocer said, and both Max and Trigo nodded.

Katniss reached out to shake his hand while Haymitch seemed unimpressed. "Can we just get on with this?"

"Why are you even here, Haymitch?" she said, calling him out on his behavior.

"I'm a requisite part of the scenery," he said with mock enthusiasm.

"What?"

"Yeah," he said, pulling out the plans which were folded in his back pocket, "we decided that we needed more than just the Mockingjay to inspire the people, we had to show her, how would you say, working with others."

Katniss nodded, not still quite following him.

Haymitch rolled his eyes, disappointed she wasn't, "we had to show you with a known member of the rebellion."

"Oh," and then more emphasis, "oh, you?"

"Yeah, I drew the short stick," he lamented. "I tried to convince them to take Beetee, but…"

Katniss laughed.

"What?" he sent her a sharp, stopping look, "if this whole thing doesn't work out, I'm going to be the first one executed!"

Katniss's smile fell as she suddenly realized the source of his sour mood—he was the one sticking his neck out before all the others. If the rebellion didn't work, Cinna, Plutarch, Beetee, they could all return to their old lives, but for Haymitch, now there was no going back.

"Aww, Haymitch," she said almost sweetly and drawing more of his ire, "you won't be the first one they kill, you'll be the second."

"What?"

"You'll be the second. They're killing _me_ first."

Haymitch burst out laughing at that, and his mood seemed to improve for the rest of the day.

Jocer filled them in on the plan: Katniss was supposed to be walking in the woods, meeting Haymitch and a several rebel-looking extras. As Katniss met them, she realized most were from Twelve. She recognized a few boys from Gale's class in school, including his good friends Thom and Ford, Mr. Tucker, the Foreman of the mines and Gale's boss, a few people from the Hob and even two from the town. One was the tailor's daughter, Sadie, Katniss thought, and another boy she knew through Madge.

They took several photos of Haymitch leading his group, and then several with Katniss approaching and greeting him. She had to do it several times so they could cover all the angles.

During the break, Katniss talked to the extras, and she was filled in on more of the horrors that took place while she and Gale were gone. She asked Sadie and the other town boy, a guy named Dillon, if they knew what'd happened to Madge.

"Peacekeepers came and arrested her father at the first sign of trouble. They took the whole family away for questioning. No one knows what happened to them," Dillon told her.

Katniss nodded and dropped her head, wondering if Madge could still be alive.

"We'll find them when we win the rebellion though," Sadie told her brightly, and Katniss was caught off guard by her optimism. "That's one of the reason we volunteered to help today."

Katniss suddenly realized that they were all putting their lives on the line, and looked at them gratefully.

"Okay, let's get Katniss approaching from this angle," he pointed to the east, "and Max, I want you shooting low from straight head. Trigo, I want you following getting close ups. Make sure you stay out of Max's shots, though." Trigo nodded and Max quickly got in place.

They spent most of the morning taking the photos, and Jocer decided to break for lunch. "I think we've got what we need," he told everyone, "that was really great. We're going to be filming tomorrow, so we might be calling some of you back."

All the extras nodded and voiced their approval. Katniss was slightly surprised to see all their support. She wasn't certain, but it almost made her _hopeful._

"Here's the script for tomorrow," Haymitch told her as they made their way back to Thirteen, "be sure to memorize it and memorize it well," he instructed. "We don't have much time for mess ups or improv."

"Okay," she said as a bit of a question. But Haymitch didn't elaborate.

When Katniss got back to her room, she made herself comfortable and began studying the script. She didn't see why Haymitch was so worried, she only had a few lines:

_People of Panem, the Rebellion is coming! Join me and my allies to fight this tyranny and end the injustice! I ask you to raise your voices and your arms with me!_

Plutarch had added a little note instructing to raise their actually arms in support as she said that line. She huffed, imagining he was especially proud of that little metaphor.

She was still reading the lines, committing them to memory, when Gale returned.

"Hey," he said, coming over to the bed to greet her. He leaned over her and kissed her deeply. "You smell good is that…pine?"

"Yeah, I was out in the woods today."

"You were?" he asked, sitting next to her.

"Yeah, taking more photographs."

"Really?" He asked, his voice laced with concern and jealousy.

"Yeah. Of me meeting with Haymitch. They're supposed to show that us rebels are getting together. Several people from Twelve were there. I saw your friend Thom."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And several others. They all seemed excited for the rebellion."

"Well, after what the Capitol did to Twelve, I can understand why. What's that?" he asked, seeing the papers she'd set by her side.

"Plutarch's script for the film we're doing tomorrow."

"You're doing a film?" Gale's brows furrowed together as grabbed the papers and began to read.

"Yeah, I don't think it'll do much rallying thought, look how bad it is. Would you want to fight for that?"

Gale's lips moved slowly as he read it over. "Hmmm," he said, clearly working through its meaning. "That's…"

"Bad, I know," she said, taking the papers from him and putting them aside. She grabbed his arms and pulled him down to her; she didn't want to think about the propos anymore and was excited he was back early. Being out in the woods today had also reminded her how much she missed their time alone together. "How was your day?"

Gale was in the middle of trying to riddle out what Thirteen's objectives were with their language, but he let Katniss distract him and settled down next to her. He slid one of his hands under her shirt and felt her stomach. She'd been telling him for a while now she could feel the baby moving, but he'd yet to feel anything.

"It was fine. More classes, more studying."

"You ready for your tests?" she asked, putting one of her hands over his.

"I think so," he said indifferently, not wanting to think about it anymore.

"Is that why you got back early?"

"What? Oh, no. I have to work out three times a week, so I was going to try and do that before dinner."

"Oh," she said with a bit of a frown.

"What?"

"I guess I just thought…you had some free time."

"Free time's about as scarce here as it was in Twelve, Catnip" Gale said like he was making a joke. He'd learned to make himself not think of things like that when he started working in the mines and did his best to do what was required of him. He leaned in to kiss Katniss and got up, stripping of his shirt to change into workout clothes.

As Gale walked over to their small closet, Katniss founder herself admiring his strong physique. His intense workout sessions were already taking effect on his body, and she could see his muscles were slightly more defined. She sat up in bed and looked down at her stomach. She wasn't aware of it, but she sighed so audibly, Gale turned around concerned.

"Is everything okay?"

"No," she pouted.

Gale immediately rushed over to her, "what's wrong?"

"It's not fair," she said, looking up at him, "you're getting better looking."

Gale thought something was actually wrong, and broke out laughing he was so relieved, "God, Catnip," he cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her. "Am I allowed to tell you you're beautiful today?"

"What?" she said, at first not remembering their discussion the day before, "oh, yeah, I'm not sure I'll believe you though," her hand and eyes went back down to her stomach.

"Well you are," he said, kissing both her hand and her stomach, "and I mean it."

She sighed heavily again, "I'm only going to get bigger."

"And more beautiful."

She looked up at him like he was pushing it; he tried to smile convincingly.

"I love you," he said, kissing her again and then getting up to resume getting ready.

Katniss watched him walk over to the closet, and felt herself wishing he wouldn't, even though she knew as well as he how important responsibilities were, and neither of them were one to shrug them off. As she tried to focus on that, she couldn't stop herself from remembering how much she missed him earlier that day when she was out in the woods.

Katniss got up and reached around Gale from behind, pulling him into a hug. She startled him for a second, but he turned around and drew her into a hug. "What's wrong?"

"You always ask me that," she said, not pulling away, "you know something doesn't have to be wrong for me to want you."

Gale chuckled softly, "fair point."

"I missed you today."

"You did?"

"Yeah, in the woods. Didn't feel right without you there."

Gale held her tightly when she said that; little comments like that meant so much to him, and it was so rare that she'd make them. He embraced her for a few more moments, and as he was about to loosen his hold, Katniss mumbled into him, "Can you stay, just a little while longer?"

He looked down at her curiously, a bit surprised by her demeanor. "Of course," he said, tilting her chin up and kissing her lips.

Katniss's lips were hot and her kiss urgent. Her hands were trailing up and down his sides, and this over his arms. She loved tracing his strong muscles, finding their curves, their hard lines. Her tongue darted in his mouth and her fingers across his body. Her fingers left fire in their wake. Gale eagerly followed her suit, and it didn't take him long before he realized he was not going to be working out before dinner—at least, not in a way that he'd get credit for his training.

Gale picked Katniss up, and she tightened her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bed. There, he set her down softly and began trailing kisses down her body as she let her fingers fall through his hair. Gale carefully pulled off Katniss's shirt and bra, and let out a moan of deep pleasure as he saw her breasts. She couldn't help be smile when she saw him like that. He was normally such a careful, controlled man, so hard to read, so hard to move—she loved seeing him unwind and indulge.

He kept kissing her, first down her neck, and then to her breasts, stopping to savor each nipple, suck on each delightedly, sending shivers through both her body and his. He ran his fingers across her ribs and down her side, and Katniss let her hand fall back and grateful moans escaped her lips. He gently pulled off her pants next, and her underwear. He kissed her legs softly, and her stomach. She looked at him and smiled as he did, and he looked up at her with an almost foolish grin on his face.

She shook her head and let out a genuine peal of laughter.

"What?" he asked.

"You're face."

"What about it?"

"You just look so…" she took a moment to find the word, "giddy, or…"

"Happy?" he offered.

"Yeah, I guess happy, but also…"

"Proud," he said again.

"Proud?" That clearly wasn't the word was thinking of. She was thinking silly, or delighted even, but "you're proud?"

"Yeah," Gale said, pulling himself back up and kissing the crown of her stomach again as he did, "I did that," he said, with that same grin.

The sound Katniss made was something of a scoff, "yeah you did…"

"Hey," he said, with a bit of a frown.

"Oh, come here," she laughed, showing she wasn't seriously upset and pulling him back up to her and kissing him deeply.

Gale slid on his side next to her as their legs entwined and one of his hands found her already moistened opening. He began to play with her, repeating movements he'd long since learned would drive her wild.

It didn't take long for Katniss to grow tired of feeling his clothes next to her bare skin, and she pulled herself on top of him, straddling over his knees, she began to undo his belt. Gale helped her by raising his hips and pulling them off.

Now, both naked, Katniss set herself on his thighs, and Gale ran his fingers up and down her sides, occasionally flicking her nipples or cupping her breasts, gently massaging and squeezing them, as she smiled and took hold of his member. As she began working him faster, Gale's head fell back on the pillow, she worked him into the same state of arousal she was already in.

Katniss liked to pump Gale until he was about to come, often causing him to stop her himself and give her a scolding look as she'd laugh unrepentantly and settle herself into her desired position.

Today was no exception. "God, Katniss," he moaned, "Not so," and he quickly grabbed her hand, stopping her from sending him over the edge, before they'd even started. "You like to do that to me, don't you?"

She laughed and shrugged devilishly as she climbed off of him and lay down.

Gale shook his head as if he couldn't believe her and gently grabbed her hips and pulled her to the edge of the bed so he could enter. Katniss lifted one of her legs, and Gale let himself in.

She threw her head back and sighed loudly, letting out a breath as he pushed inside. "Oh yes," she moaned, looping one of her legs with his to keep them close.

Gale remained in control of himself for a few moments, slowly moving in and out until the noises Katniss was making drove him to move faster. She hooked her other leg high above his waist, allowing him deep within her, and she audibly began to moan, stopping only to kiss the wrist of the hand he was using to support himself.

Gale's pace quickened and Katniss's moans became less and less intelligible. Gale held himself until he watched her surge with pleasure. "That is so good," she said with heavy breath, "so…so…"

Once she'd climaxed, he worked himself to finish. "God, I love you," he said, pulling himself out of her slick body.

"Don't leave," she said softly, desperately as she pulled his face to hers.

"I'm not," he said, tenderly kissing her as lie down next to her.

"Good," she turned to face him, took his face in her hands. "Because I've missed you." Her kiss was as desperate as he'd imagined her tone, but not nearly as soft.

They lay in each other's limbs, hearts still heavily beating, half asleep, and skin sheened with sweat almost an hour after their loving making had ended.

"We're going to have to get up soon and shower."

Katniss nuzzled into Gale and made a sound of disapproval.

"Come on, Catnip, we can't go to—"

But Katniss didn't want to hear what they had to do. She climbed on top of Gale, straddling him, and curled down to kiss him. He happily returned her kiss and traced curves across her back. His hands finally moved around to her front, and he grabbed her breasts, which he so greatly desired. As he did, Katniss moaned again deeply, in a way she knew would turn him on.

"Oh, Katniss," he almost pleaded, "we've got to get ready—"

"How much time do we have?"

"You can't be serious…"

"How much time do we have?"

He looked up at her quizzically, but he could tell she meant business. Gale exhaled with a small laugh and checked his communicuff, "about an hour."

"That's plenty of time," Katniss said matter-of-factly, and she hopped off of him and onto the floor. Katniss got on her knees beside the bed. She grabbed Gale's legs and pulled him into the position she was in before.

"Katniss…"

"What? The hormones make me horny," she said in the same matter-of-fact tone, and began kissing the inside of his leg.

Her kisses led up his legs and she grabbed Gale and took him into her mouth, slowly at first, and then playfully with her tongue until he was hard.

"God, Katniss…" he panted.

She released him and pulled herself up onto his body, leaning down first to kiss him deeply, his hands in her hair, her tongue in his mouth… Katniss finally pulled herself away from their kiss, sucking on his lower lip a little longer before letting it go. He held her face tightly in his hands as she did. "God, I love you," he said.

She smiled and kissed him again, and, feeling his erection hard against her skin, letting his press against her clit and send shiver of sensation across her nerves. When she was ready, she moved to slowly let him in.

She felt warm and wet and wonderful. Gale fell back and let his body roll away with the sensation.

Katniss tightened her legs by the sides of his hips to stabilize herself and slowly began to move up and down, and running her fingers across his chest.

Being on top was a little more work than she'd anticipated, but like the control it gave her and enjoyed watching Gale lost in the pleasure. After a few minutes he found his way back to his brain again and grabbed her hips and her ass, savoring her soft skin, her deep curves, and helping to support her.

She moved very slowly at first, adjusting, as she went up and down, not letting him deep inside her. Once comfortable, she began to move a bit faster, and deeper, and found a rhythm she liked. She finally had to lean forward, using one of her hands to support her to keep up their momentum, and Gale moved one of his hands to stimulate her clit while she thrust which almost made her lose control.

Katniss's breath became a moan and then a plea. First for more, and then for release. Gale began strumming her clit harder and moved his hips to keep their rhythm as she collapsed on top of him, curling up on his chest, her fingers grabbing at his skin like she wanted to take in more of him.

Gale grabbed her strongly in his arms and rolled so they were both on their sides, so he could finish. When he came, Katniss squeezed his body as tightly to hers as she could.

The lovers clung to each other as they regained their breath. They lie next to each other, their noses almost touching. Gale pushed some of Katniss's hair behind, and they kissed each other again, sweetly.

Katniss finally pulled herself away. She stroked Gale's face and said, "thank you for staying with me."

Gale laughed—she said it like he'd done her a favor—and leaned in to kiss her one more time. Without saying anything, he wrapped his strong arms around her, pulled her onto his chest, and got up. Without his hands to help push him up, he was relying on his chest muscles to do the work, and Katniss's weight made it a bit more work than he'd anticipated, not that it stopped him. Once on his feet, she pulled her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders. This position made it far easier for him to carry her. She looked deeply into his eyes and kissed him again as he took them into the shower.

Their shower session was steamy in more than one way but was cut short when their hot water ran out and they were reminded of their time restraints. Gale shaved while Katniss towel-dried her hair and got ready. They both threw on the standard white t-shirt and blue pants, but Katniss thought that Gale somehow made it look better than she did. Her shirt clung tightly to her stomach, making it appear all the bigger. Katniss tried to cover up with an additional layer, putting on a larger, long sleeved shirt. She wasn't sure when she started caring about her looks or why, she'd never given any thought to it before, but she liked the cover the over shirt gave her and buttoned it up.

Katniss braided her hair as Gale laced up his work boots, and as they finished getting ready, he walked over to her and pulled her into his strong body. She relished the feeling of his strength and comfort.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm getting hungry."

Gale laughed, "well, we did work up a bit of an appetite."

Katniss tried to keep herself from blushing as they walked to the cafeteria.

Gale scanned both of them in and pushed their trays they went through the line. Their portion sizes were determined based on their health, age, height, weight, and workload and indicated when they scanned in. Since Gale was training and Katniss was pregnant, their servings were relatively the same size. As they passed through the line, they were both given a serving of root vegetables, and some type of shredded meat. Gale was then given two rolls while Katniss was given an apple. They were both also given a glass of milk with water and several vitamins. It was much more food than they'd have been given under the Capitol's control of Twelve, but still not quite as much as either of them would like.

As Gale placed Katniss's drinks on her tray, his mother came up to them.

"Gale, honey, there you are and, Katniss!" she said in a burst of excitement. Hazelle came up and hugged Katniss, though awkwardly, since she was still carrying her tray. "Look at you. Oh, it's so good to see you! It's been so long…"

Gale couldn't help but notice his mother didn't seem to harbor any resentment towards Katniss for having disappeared for a few months.

"We're sitting right at the table over there, just around the corner," Hazelle said, squeezing Katniss one more time, and cupping her face, as she went to get in line.

Katniss exhaled heavily as Hazelle left, and Gale looked at her both sympathetically and thankfully. He knew that this sort of attention wasn't her style and that she was doing it only to please his mother.

"Thank you," he said quietly as they began to walk in the direction his mother had pointed.

"Yeah, yeah..." she said with a small smile. While she wasn't overly keen on the attention, Katniss had to admit that there was something she liked about Hazelle's pure excitement, and Katniss carried that smile on her face until they turned the corner.

Then, she stopped dead in her tracks, and so suddenly that Gale almost smacked into her. He was about to ask her why she stopped when he realized: he was expecting to see a table filled with the Hawthornes – Vick and Rory squabbling, Posy trying to demand their attention – and he did see that. But in addition to the Hawthornes were the Beechers, his mother's side of the family, and several of their relatives, like the Greers. Gale's siblings were mixed in with several of his cousins. He saw his Aunt Rosette, Uncle Ansel, his Uncle Vern, Aunt Tippy, Aunt Loleen, Uncle Bruce, and, in the middle of it all, his grandmother.

"Gale," Katniss spoke lowly, trying to hide her alarm as she took in the scene, but Gale could sense her body tense and he couldn't blame her. Four tables were pushed together, all filled with his family.

"Gale!" his grandmother shrieked, waving at him to come closer.

"Gale," his mother said this time, almost making him jump as she approached from behind him. "You found us," she said as if they could have missed it. "I saved you two seats," she indicated with her elbow.

Gale's eyes scanned the tables, cluttered with trays and the air above swinging with limbs and fingers as kids grabbed, shoved and squabbled between their parents. He finally found the two empty chairs his mother was referencing. They were right across from his grandma.


	32. Chapter 32

Gale's grandmother was called Gammie by almost everyone, and she was practically a legend in the Seam. Not many people's health permitted them to live to a ripe old age, but Gammie showed no sign of stopping and was almost 70. Her long life had brought her five husbands and eighteen children, twelve of whom survived into adulthood, nine stepchildren from her third and fifth husband, forty four grandchildren, and Gale and Katniss's child would be her fourteenth great grandbaby. Between all of her children, their children, and the families they'd all married into, Gammie not only knew, but was in some way connected to, just about everyone in the Seam.

"Gale, sweetie, it's so good to see you!" Gammie said, walking over to him. "Hazelle told me you'd arrived just the other day, and oh my stars, you must be Katniss." She said as the couple approached the table; she was no longer interested in her grandson. Gammie extended her hands and reached out for Katniss to come closer. Katniss's eyes darted frantically to Gale, not sure what to do and not wanting to do anything but eat her food. He pulled out the chair for Katniss, and set down her tray, motioning for her to sit, Gammie was already up and reaching.

She knocked past Gale as she reached for Katniss. "Oh, look at you pretty young thing," she said, taking Katniss's face in her hands. "It's so good to finally meet you," she said, squeezing Katniss into an uncomfortably tight hug.

Katniss responded stiffly, and only after a moment, returned the hug with a soft pat on the back. She tried to pull away when Gale's grandmother loosened her hold, but the woman grabbed her hand and held it tightly. "No, don't worry, Hazelle's already told me all about you," Gammie said, and Katniss had no idea why she would worry about such a thing.

"Oh, umm, good," she said with a shrug, turning her head to Gale. He saw the frantic look in her eye and immediately responded.

"Hey, Gams, what does your favorite grandson have to do for a hug?" he said in a playful tone. "It's been so long—"

"Oh, shush," she dismissed him, "I want to see the great grandbaby first."

Katniss hadn't even processed what they meant when the woman pulled out her shirt and immediately put her cold hands on Katniss's bare skin. "Oh," Katniss said, trying to back away. Gammie didn't notice her discomfort, though, and took a step forward.

"Oh, look at this beautiful little belly," the old woman cooed as she ran her hands across Katniss's stomach. "I always loved being pregnant…"

"Umm…" Katniss didn't know how to respond to that.

"Gammie," Gale intervened again, but before he was able to snag his grandmother's attention from Katniss, Posy stole the spotlight.

"Why's Gammie touching Katniss's belly?" she asked loudly, demanding the whole table's attention.

Vick looked at his little sister kindly and explained, "It's because she's pregnant, Po."

"Oh," Posy said scooping her potatoes. But then she realized, "what does pregnant mean?"

Rory laughed, and Hazelle looked at him sternly. "It means she's going to have a baby," her mother said.

"Oh," Posy said again, looking adorable as she processed the information. But then her expression changed from serenity to shock. "Wait, does that mean there's a baby in her belly?"

"Yep," Rory said with a certain sort of glee.

"Yes, dear," Hazelle said calmly again, "all babies start in their mommies' bellies."

"I used to be in your belly, Mommy?" Posy was clearly struggling with this idea.

"Yeah, dear, you all were."

"But how do babies get in there!?" Posy looked at Katniss with wide, alarmed eyes; she was genuinely concerned. Katniss looked at the little girl like she understood her struggle.

Rory almost snorted potatoes out of his nose. "Gale put in in there, Po, do you want to know how?"

Gale looked threatening at his little brother, but that didn't wipe the smile off his face. That fell when his name cracked across the table like the sound of a whip.

"Rory Gustus!"

That wasn't Hazelle's voice, but his grandmother. It was suddenly clear where Hazelle got her parenting style from.

"I will not hear such talk at the dinner table, boy. Do you hear me?"

Rory nearly swallowed his tongue as he nodded. Katniss could tell by the look on his face that this was not a woman you crossed.

"I _said_ did you hear me?"

"Yes'em."

"What was that?"

"Yes ma'am," Rory repeated.

"I can't believe you, Rory," Hazelle scolded, as Rory stared down at his plate, "we're having a nice dinner."

Rory would have laughed at that if his grandmother weren't watching.

"I'm so sorry about that," Gammie told Katniss who'd been trying to slip away during the show. "Children, you know. Or, I guess you don't, but you will soon enough!" she put her hand back on Katniss's belly.

Katniss nodded and tried to pull away, but the old woman was surprisingly strong.

"But I still want to know—" Posy piped up again, wanting both an answer and attention.

"Not now, dear," Hazelle said turning to her youngest and pushing her seat closer to the table. "Eat your food."

"Katniss didn't eat a baby, did she?" Posy was still concerned.

Katniss, who'd been only half paying attention to the little girl as Gammie still gripped her, threw Posy a curious look when that comment caught her ear.

"What? Dear, no, of course not. It was like your brother said, Gale gave the baby to her. Just like your father gave you all to me." Hazelle spooned some food for Posy, hoping she'd eat it and not ask any more questions.

Posy stuffed a spoonful of potatoes into her mouth and then said, "did Gale put the baby there because he loves Katniss?"

Gale smiled at his youngest sibling, thankful for her sweet and adorable nature.

"Yes, sweetie," Hazelle said, softly stroking her cheek.

Katniss had to stop herself from scoffing and turned it into a slight cough.

"Is Rory going to put a baby into Pigeon's belly?" Posy asked with the same wide-eyed innocence.

"What?" Rory's fork clattered against his plate as he looked at his sister in horror.

"Yeah, Rory," Vick said through sputtered laughter, "Are ya?"

"No!" He yelled, "Why would you even say that?"

His tone made Posy look ashamed and she let out a little sob.

Gale looked at Rory sternly. He didn't know who or what Pigeon was, but he didn't need to yell at Posy about it.

"Sorry, Po," he said.

It was safe to say that Posy had each of her brothers tightly wrapped around her finger.

"Then why were you making out with her?" Vick continued to snort, delighting at his brother's expense.

Hazelle began to corral her youngest children as Katniss finally pulled away from Gammie's clutch.

"So, I'm really hungry," she said in what she knew was an awkward segue.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Got to feed the little one," she giggled.

Katniss looked at her strangely and nodded, pulling her shirt down and taking her place at the table hastily.

Gale helped push Katniss's chair in and could sense her tenseness. He put his hand on her leg under the table. His look at her was something of an apology, sympathy, and a plea. Her eyes remained wooden for a moment, but she finally smiled and nodded. She knew Gale didn't know his mother had arranged this gathering, and even if he did, he wasn't responsible for their behavior, and placed her hand on top of his.

"You're smart to start young," Gammie continued, and Katniss took a bite of her meat so she wouldn't have to respond. "That way you can fit more in. You know," the woman said, suddenly getting excited, "You get an award if you have twenty children. I've only seen two women ever get it in Twelve. Lord knows, I tried hard enough myself, but I only managed eighteen, though my last husband and I certainly tried our hardest to make it happen.

Katniss wasn't positive, but she was almost certain the old woman winked at her when she said that, and Katniss didn't know what to make of that.

"You know, Hazelle, you're still young enough to have a few more…"

"So you keep telling me, mother," Hazelle said wearily.

"I had Ida, Maddie, Ollie, and Lyddie when I was older than you."

Hazelle sighed deeply and avoided making eye contact with her mother.

Gale looked at his mom sympathetically; he knew how much she hated this topic and how often his grandmother brought it up. One of the few times Gale had ever seen his mother cry was after a fight she'd had with Gammie on the topic. She'd come to stay with them for the first few months after his father died, doing lots of the cooking and cleaning since Hazelle'd just had Posy. But after two months, which was apparently Gammie's predetermined allowance for mourning, she told Hazelle she'd have to remarry if she wanted to take care of her family. The fight the two had was the worst Gale had ever heard. Gammie left, and it was months before Gale saw her again. It was that day that Gale realized for certain he was going to have to step up to care for his family. If they needed a man in the house, then he was going to have to be one. That was the day he decided to hunt in the woods.

"I'm just saying dear, you've still got a few good years left…"

"I think when you're children start having children, it's time to stop," Hazelle said, her annoyed tone apparent to everyone except her mother.

"Oh, nonsense," Gammie said, "you can keep going up until forty if you're lucky."

"Rosette's only 37," Hazelle said, darting her sister a mischievous look. It was one Katniss imagined she'd been giving her since childhood, as was the one Rosette returned.

"I'm not taking the risk of having another girl," Ansel Greer said definitively, "I've already got five, and I love them all, but god help me…" His voice trailed off with a haggard look. "I've got one more puberty to get through, and I'm retiring."

Gale laughed; his Uncle Ansel was his favorite. Rosette also smiled and softly put her hand on her husband's.

Katniss had never met any of her relatives. She didn't know much about her mother's side of the family, only that they were from the town and didn't approve of her marrying her dad, and that's all anyone would ever tell her. Her father's parents had both died before she was born, and his only sister died in childbirth when Katniss was just a baby. She didn't realize it, but she started to smile as she watched Gale's family. Sure, they were wild, and loud, and a bit annoying, but there was so much warmth and life. She'd never seen anything like it, certainly not in her house, and looked over at Gale lovingly. _Maybe she could use a bit more of this in her life_ , she thought. _Maybe a bit of chaos is better than the cold…_

When he saw her smiling, he put his arm around her, spreading his long fingers across the small of her back, rubbing her spine gently with his thumb. She closed her eyes momentarily and enjoyed the feeling. When she opened them, she saw Gale taking a forkful of the vegetables off her plate.

"Hey…"

"I'm trading you," he said, mouth still partially full. "And you know you don't like beets."

Katniss did know she didn't like beets, but she didn't know how Gale knew, and looked at him quizzically.

He just smiled back at her and put one of his rolls on her plate. Katniss wanted to tell him he didn't have to do this, but she really preferred the bread to the beets.

"Thank you," she said softly. And he just rubbed her back in response.

Over the course of the meal, Gammie proceeded to tell Katniss about her many husbands, and children, while Gale listened to his siblings eagerly discuss their day.

"I was pregnant with my second child when I was your age," Gammie said, "my first husband really wanted us to have a girl, since our first was a boy..."

Katniss began to smile when she heard that. "I think I'm having a girl," she said, trying to be friendly.

"Oh no dear," Gammie cut her off, "that's a boy in there. After eighteen, you learn to tell."

Katniss looked at the old woman like she was offended, but Gammie paid no mind.

"I _did_ have a girl. But my first husband got himself kicked in the head by a horse the winter before she was born…he would have been so happy, but he never got to see her." Gammie sighed, "oh don't worry dear," she said, seeing Katniss's face fall, "these things happen. And if that hadn't happened, I'd have never met my second husband or my next six kids."

Gammie said that with a smile as if that somehow made it all right, and Katniss had to hide behind her glass of milk to mask her shock. She knew that was the way you had to think to survive, but something about it unnerved her. Sometimes she thought her pregnancy was making her lose her edge, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

As Gammie continued to tell Katniss about her husbands and children, Gale caught up with his Uncle Ansel and who'd become a surrogate father-figure. Ansel Greer had married Hazelle's sister closest in age and relationship, Rosette, and they had five daughters, so Ansel was happy to have Gale as a surrogate son as well. Sometimes, he just needed to get away from all the women.

Meanwhile, Posy kept pestering her mother about where babies came from.

"But how do they get in there?"

"We'll talk about this later, dear," Hazelle said with an exhausted voice as she tried to converse with her sister.

"And how do they get out?"

"Posy, please…"

"Can I have a baby in my belly?"

"What? No. Absolutely not."

"But why!?"

"Posy, why don't you go play with your cousins," Hazelle said, pointing to the two other children closest to Posy's age at the other side of the table, and resumed talking to Rosette.

"Well, here I am, going on and on about all my husbands…" Gammie said to Katniss.

"Yeah," Katniss said more rudely than she meant to. Her patience had been exhausted around husband number three, but luckily, Gammie didn't seem to notice, "so tell me, when are you making Gale yours?"

"What?" A piece of food almost fell out of Katniss's mouth; she hadn't expected this question.

"No need to be ashamed, dear, Hazelle's already told me you're not married yet." Gammie said this with a sweet smile Katniss didn't quite understand. "It happens to more people than you'd think," she said like a consolation, "nobody cares when you conceive as long as you're married before the child gets here. Well, _some_ people care, but I'm not like that…"

"Oh," Katniss said, again not sure how to respond to this woman and not sure exactly what she meant with the comment, but she said it like Katniss owed her for it. "Well, um, Gale and I haven't really talked about it..."

Gammie laughed, certain she didn't understand. "I'm not sure what you mean, dear."

"Well, umm," Katniss looked to Gale, but he was still talking with his uncle, unaware of his grandmother's line of questioning, "I mean, I don't know..."

"You don't _know_ if you're getting _married_?" Her voice rose sharply, and several people grew quiet. Katniss could feel their eyes on her and hated it.

Gale and his uncle were deep in discussion about pulleys and gears since Ansel'd been assigned to work in Thirteen's ventilation systems, given his experience in the mines. He was completely oblivious to his grandmother's interrogation until Posy caught his attention.

"What's a bastard?" she asked innocently.

Gale didn't even have time to process why his sister'd be asking such a question when his grandmother's voice caught his hears.

"You can't let your child be a bastard."

Gale suddenly turned to look at Katniss and saw a mix of uncertainty and anger on her face. He realized what was going on.

"What's a bastard," Posy said again, this time more loudly, hoping to get attention. Hazelle quickly told her to be quiet.

"Just think of the life they'll have, they'll be an outcast!" Gammie continued.

"So? There're worse things than being an outcast," Katniss said plainly. "I was practically an outcast—"

"Yes, and look how _you_ turned out."

"Gamm—," Gale tried to cut in, but Katniss overtook him.

"If you don't think I'm good enough for your family, I don't see what your problem is."

Gammie sighed conciliatorily, "this isn't about me, dear, it's about the child. And the circumstances of a baby's birth determine how'll they be treated their whole life."

"No it doesn't. It doesn't matter what they are or who—"

"If you don't get married, who your child will be is a bastard, and what they'll be is a disgrace. I won't have that in my family..."

"Lucky for you, I'm _not_ in your family," Katniss's tone became threatening.

"Gammie," Gale intervened. He'd been trying to get a word in for the past few minutes, but each woman kept roaring over him. He knew both women well enough to see how disastrously things could turn, and was taking command of the conversation. "This isn't really your concern..."

"That child's my blood, boy, so don't tell me it's none of my concern. I've kept this family going longer and farther than anyone could have ever imagined, and I've done that by making sure everyone in it is taken care of. And that's what I'm doing now, making sure that child will be taken care of."

"I've done a pretty good job of taking care of my family as well, in case you haven't noticed. Katniss and I will take care of our child," Gale said definitively. "We're partners—"

"How wonderful for you," she said, her voice dripping with condensation, "but that doesn't mean squat unless you're husband and wife. 'Cause if you're not, you're child's a bastard, and you know what happens to bastards..."

Gale felt his tongue dry in his throat and his skin prickle at the word _bastard_. He wanted to yell at his grandmother, rebuke her calling his child that. But he knew he couldn't; she was _technically_ right. So he choked down his anger and remained calm.

His grandmother had another point too. He didn't appreciate her bringing it up during their family dinner, and he didn't think she was completely right, but she had a point none the less. Unwed mothers in Twelve, turned away by their family for bringing another mouth to feed into an already struggling family, often killed themselves, and every season a few bodies were pulled from the river. Those who didn't drown themselves were harshly ridiculed. Their children were the skinniest, dirtiest, and poorest in the Seam, the mothers rarely able to find legitimate work. And the rest of the Seam kids, already taunted by the richer town kids, jumped on the opportunity to mock someone worse off than themselves.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're not at the Seam anymore, Gammie." Gale was now speaking with a tone of authority he rarely used with his mother, and had never used with his grandmother. But she remained unperturbed.

"It don't matter where you are, boy, the only way people make it in this world is if they have family," the old woman said definitively.

"My child will have a family," Katniss said exactly what Gale was thinking, and he looked at her supportively. But the proud smile on his face fell as she continued. "I've got a sister and a mother—"

Gale had assumed she'd meant him and was a little hurt.

"Yes, I know all about your mother," Gammie said, her voice thick with insult. "Anise Clearwater—"

"Don't talk about my mother!" Katniss's voice snapped, she didn't even know what she was saying, but she was driven by the pure desire to challenge this woman.

"Gammie, please," Gale cut in, "we're going to take care of everything."

"Does that mean you're getting married?"

Gale wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes because he did want to marry Katniss and he knew that would make his grandmother shut up so they could all go back to enjoying their meal. But he couldn't make himself say it. Gale didn't actually know if they would get married. It was his deepest insecurity, and one he worked almost every day at hiding, but he didn't know if Katniss wanted to spend the rest of her life with him or if she was just making the best of her current circumstances. She'd never wanted to get married before, he knew that, and he also knew she didn't love him before their time alone in the woods. But did she love him now? Did she really? He told himself she did, but he couldn't help but notice that she rarely did. He thought back, remembering the numerous times he'd told her he loved her, the numerous times she didn't say anything back. Whether it'd been today while they were in bed, or the first time they were together…how he heard nothing back…

Gale had to shake those thoughts from his head and reassert himself in the moment. "Gams, if you want to talk to me about this later, we can, but that's enough for now," he spoke with the authority she so often did, and the woman seemed a bit taken aback.

"Well, I'm only asking because I'd like to help plan a wedding…" She said if mock-innocence. Posy pulled the look off better than she did, but Gale wasn't going to press her any further.

He knew very well that wasn't why she brought it up, but his grandmother was as sly as they came, and she could twist anything.

"Well, don't get too excited, Gams, I don't think weddings are a thing here."

"How could they not be? Even in the Seam…"

"I don't think they celebrate anything here, it's probably just paperwork, but I'll keep you posted, okay?" he said, finally placating the old woman and successfully evading the question. Gale put his arm around Katniss, glad he defused the situation, but she remained stiff.

Gale looked in her eyes and knew she was upset, he silently pleaded with her, trying to show he was sorry for his grandmother, that it was okay, but Katniss remained rigid and looked away.

She remained silent through the rest of the meal and even refused to eat Gale's second roll when he offered it to her.

And she didn't calm down by the end of dinner. As Gale hugged his aunts good bye and firmly grasped his Uncle Ansel's hand, Katniss remained wooden as Hazelle hugged her, who threw Gale a cautious look when Katniss didn't react. Gale looked back at his mother as if to say: _I know she's not happy, mom, I know…_

Despite the years Gale had been gushing about Katniss, the girl always seemed to be in a bad mood from Hazelle's perspective, and she never did see what he saw in her…

Hazelle patted Katniss on the back fondly as she released her from the hug, still getting no reaction.

"Bye Katniss!" Posy peeped as she ran up to hug her as well. "Bye baby," she said, kissing Katniss's stomach sweetly. Everyone around cooed. But Katniss didn't move a muscle. Posy held on for a few moments, waiting for Katniss to return her hug, and when she didn't, Hazelle grabbed her child's arm and pulled her away.

"Come on, dear," she said, "it's time for us to go to bed."

"Bye Gale!" Posy waved, "bye baby! Bye Katniss!"

"Good night, Po," Gale said fondly. "Boys!"

He got an enthusiastic wave from Vick, though Rory only nodded. Gale remembered being that age, and could only smile at his little brother's tough act.

"You know, you could at least have been nice to Posy," he said, after a few tense minutes of silence as they walked through the halls.

"Oh, please, you all spoil that girl."

"I think you hurt her feelings."

"She'll be fine," Katniss said indifferently.

"Katniss…"

No reaction.

"Hey, Katniss," he said more sharply this time. He finally grabbed her arm and forced her to face him. "You didn't have to be so rude."

"Your grandmother was rude to me!"

"Yes, my grandmother, not my mom or Posy."

Katniss wanted to snap back at Gale, but she realized he had a valid point. She was too upset to calm down though. "Why'd you let her talk to me like that?"

"First, I didn't let her. I don't know what makes you think I can control her." Gale sometimes wondered why all the women in his life assumed he could control the other women in his life since he could never control them. "She's an old, cranky woman, you can't let her get to you—"

"I can't let her get to me?!" Katniss acted like Gale was asking the impossible.

"You're really that upset?" he said, preparing himself and realizing he'd perhaps built up immunity to his grandmother's nonsense.

"Am I upset about being humiliated in public? Um, let me think," she paused dramatically, "yeah, I am." She then turned and kept walking to their room.

Gale looked her up and down, clearly thinking she was overreacting. "Okay," he said, trying to placate her. "I'm sorr—"

But Katniss wasn't having any of it. "You don't know what it feels like!" Her voice almost broke into a roar, and a few people looked at her warily.

"To be humiliated?" Gale couldn't believe her, "yeah, I do, because that's kind of what you just did to me."

"What? No I didn't!" Katniss's anger was already boiling, and Gale was only stoking her flames.

"Yes, Katniss, you did," Gale said firmly. "I don't care what you say to my grandmother, but my mother—"

"Don't even get me started about your mother!"

"Now wait a minute," Gale said, starting to get defensive, "what did my mother do to you?"

"You know she hates me!"

"No she doesn't," Gale said dismissively. His mother might not have been Katniss's biggest fan, but he knew she didn't hate her. _And I'm pretty sure your mother thinks worse of me than mine of you,_ he thought to himself.

"Yes she does, Gale, don't play dumb," Katniss said, turning to face him.

That remark stung. Gale stopped himself from remarking in kind. They were almost at their door, so Gale kept quiet until they got inside. Once there, he took a deep breath.

"My mother doesn't hate you, Katniss. She was excited to see you…"

Katniss scoffed. "Please," she rolled her eyes, "to her, I'll always be the one who stole her _precious_ son away."

Gale looked down at Katniss cuttingly. He didn't appreciate her condensation. "Katniss," he spoke with an authority she had no plans to recognize, "my mother likes you, though I'm sure she didn't appreciate how spoke to her or Posy tonight…"

Katniss rolled her eyes again.

"I know I didn't appreciate it." He paused, half expecting her to apologize. After a few moments passed, he didn't know why he thought she would. "So you can say whatever you want about my grandmother, she's got it coming, but my mother doesn't deserve that. She was so excited…"

"Yeah, excited to see my baby!" Katniss fired back, hands swimming around her stomach.

" _Our_ baby," Gale said, his tone falling heavily on the first word, sensitive to the exclusion he already felt since they weren't married—an exclusion Katniss's mother and the President had already pointed out.

"No, my baby! Right now, she's just mine. I'm carrying her, I'm feeding her, I'm growing her, growing because of her. I'm the only one who has to deal with the morning sickness and the sore back and the expanding waste line. I'm the only one get groped by your cold-fingered relatives, and I'm the only one getting called a disgrace."

Gale exhaled deeply. He saw that she had a valid point, so he wasn't going to argue with her on it even though he'd prefer it if they thought of their child as _theirs._ "Okay. You're right, you've got a fair point," he said, opening his arms slightly and looking at her softly, hoping she'd accept a hug. "I don't know what that's like…" though he did think he'd endured the moods that came along with those side effects as well as anyone could. "…and I'm sorry…"

He stepped towards Katniss, and she let him take her in his arms. He ran his hands up and down hers, and she had to admit, it felt good. Her anger slowly leaked away, but in its face, she found only sadness.

"You just don't know what it's like, Gale," she said with a sob.

"You're right."

"She called me a disgrace! She called the baby…"

"You're not, you're not. My grandmother—"

"It's not just your grandmother!"

"What?" Gale pushed Katniss from his chest slightly so he could see her face.

"The other women," she said, wiping away a tear.

"What other women?" He had no idea what she was talking about.

"The ones from yesterday. They looked at me, and they said I was a disgrace, just like your grandmother!"

"What?" He said, processing the information.

"And you just let her say that to me!"

As Gale held her, he could feel the emotions boiling over. He wanted to tell her he didn't _just let_ his grandmother say that, but he knew that wouldn't be productive. So he listened as Katniss sobbed and tried not to take it personally that she seemed to be blaming him for everything. _Just like everyone else is,_ Gale thought to himself, bristling as he recalled the lectures he'd received from his mom, her mom, her sister even…

"I'm sorry," he said, pushing his thoughts aside.

"You don't know how it feels…"

"You're right…" Gale frowned slightly. She was right, he didn't know what people were saying, but he could see how upset being called a disgrace had made her, and he didn't want her to feel that way. "I'm sorry."

"They don't like me…don't think I'm good enough…"

"That's not true," he kept trying to comfort.

"Yes it is. You don't understand. And they all love you…"

"What?" Gale said, cupping her face in his hands as he looked down at her, trying to figure out where she was going.

"Everyone loves you. Everyone thinks you're perfect."

"That's not true," Gale said with a soft chuckle, recalling again all the scoldings he'd gotten.

"Oh please, your family loves you…"

"And your family loves you…" He countered. "That's what families do…"

"No! My family loves you too!"

"They also think I'm an idiot for getting you pregnant. Do you have any idea how much grief I've been given since we've come back, from your family, from mine, even from Haymitch…"

"Even Haymitch likes you!"

Gale exhaled deeply. That not only wasn't true, that's also wasn't his point.

"And Haymitch doesn't like anyone!" Katniss continued, starting to sound hysterical again.

"Haymitch doesn't like me that much, trust me," Gale told her, "he along with everyone else has already railed me for getting you pregnant…"

"So? You want me to feel sorry for you now?"

"No," Gale said carefully. He was hoping sharing this example wouldn't make Katniss feel so targeted or singled out. "I'm just saying you're not the only one people criticize..."

"But you did get me pregnant…"

Gale looked at Katniss crossly. "You think this is all my fault too?"

"Well…" She wasn't really in the state of mind to consider that carefully; all Katniss was thinking was that Gale did, in fact, get her pregnant, so how could he be upset about someone pointing that out?

"Well what?" Gale's voice began to shake as his emotions got the better of him. He'd had a long day, and he was tired of being blamed for making everything wrong, especially considering how much effort he put into making everything right.

"Nothing," Katniss said, suddenly finding a bit of clarity when confronted with his state. Realizing he was upset seemed to distract her from her own. "I wasn't trying to upset you," she said, looking him up and down, trying to figure out what had trigged him. And she felt ashamed that she'd been on such a rampage, she didn't recall exactly everything she'd said.

"I know," he said, calming down.

"But I did…" she said, figuring it out.

"It's nothing."

"No, that was something. We agreed we'd tell each other things, remember. That's what I was doing, I was sharing with you how I felt. And you were comforting me, don't think I didn't notice or appreciate it. But you've got to do the same for me, Gale, remember, we agreed to that."

Gale was a bit surprised at how quickly Katniss seemed to regain herself and smiled down at her. He appreciated hearing that she took the conversations they had the other night to heart.

Gale took a step back and ran his head through his hair. The irony was not lost on him as he realized he didn't want to talk about his issues, but Gale wasn't going to be a hypocrite. "It's just been a rough day, Catnip," he began, "one of my superiors," he voice caught again, inflected with anger. Katniss could immediately tell how much Gale didn't like him. "He's a…he's a dick and he likes to jerk me around. Today he had me rewrite an entire exam…said it wasn't legible enough." Gale sighed heavily as he said this, and Katniss could also tell by the way he said _today_ that this was just one of many power plays the man pulled on Gale.

"Okay," she responded, sweetly stroking his arm, "but what's the connection there and here?"

Gale smiled. "I guess I just sometimes get tired of feeling like everyone's blaming me for things being wrong. Especially when I try so hard to make things right."

"Who's blaming you for things?"

"Katniss, do you have any idea what your mother said to me when she found out you were pregnant? What you sister said?"

Katniss's expression clearly read _no._

"Well, trust me, I know you don't like how they fuss over you, but they're excited you're pregnant, they're happy. But flip that and ask them how they feel about me getting you pregnant, and it's an entirely different story…"

Katniss stood solid, unreadable as she processed the his information.

"I mean, you'd think if they're happy about the baby, they're happy you're carrying the baby, they might be happy I helped put it there. But no, I get told how stupid I was, how irresponsible…."

As Gale went on, Katniss began to feel bad about how little appreciation and respect he seemed to get, and especially how much he deserved.

"I'm sorry, Gale, your family, and mine, they should remember how much you've done for them..."

Gale nodded and looked her in the eye, wrestling if he should tell her more. His mind went back to his deepest insecurity: it wasn't just that Gale underappreciated by their families sometimes…but by Katniss as well.

"It's not just my superiors, or our families, Katniss…"

Her eyes searched his, not following what he meant.

"Katniss, I do a lot for you."

"And I don't do a lot for you?" Her anger was coming back.

"I didn't say that."

"But you clearly think it."

"No," he tried to get a handle on the conversation again, "it's not that you don't do things for me, not that I don't appreciate it…"

She looked unconvinced.

"Katniss, I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I don't always know how you _feel_ about me."

Gale was at his most vulnerable. And Katniss laughed.

"You don't know how I feel about you?" She didn't even know how to respond to that. "Do you not remember what we were doing before dinner?"

"Yes, Katniss, I remember, but just because we were having sex doesn't mean—"

"Doesn't mean what?!" she roared.

"It doesn't mean—"

"So help me, Gale," she said, raising her hands wildly, wanting to hit him, "if you say I don't love you…"

"That just it, Katniss, you almost never say it." Gale's voice finally cracked with the hurt that he felt every time he'd wanted to hear her say it and didn't.

"So? Again, I just made love to you. Twice! God, I didn't think I had to remind you that I loved you when I was making love to you. I would have thought that was fucking obvious! Maybe the problem here is that it isn't for you. You're able to sleep with someone without loving them. But for me, it's not that simple."

Katniss's voice stung. Gale thought that was a bit of a low blow. And while he recognized she did have a point, he wasn't about to forget his. Gale took a few breaths and tried to reclaim himself. "Katniss, do you remember the last time I told you I loved you?"

 _Yes,_ Katniss thought. She recalled how he said it when they were making love. How she liked it. She also remembered how he'd said it the night before when she was upset about him wanting to say she was beautiful. And how he'd said it again and again until she laughed.

"Do you remember the last time you said it to me?"

Both Katniss's look and mind was blank. She stood awkwardly for a few moments, racking her brain.

"You have to know that I love you" she said.

"Yeah, I do. But I don't know how long it'll last. I don't know what exactly it means to you. I don't know if you just love me because of what I do for you, or what you think you owe me for what I've done…And that's the real problem, Katniss. This all started because you were upset I didn't stop my grandmother. Well, I'm upset because I couldn't. The only thing that would have made her shut up was if I'd told her we were getting married. And I couldn't' do that because I don't know if we are…if you even want to!"

Katniss stared at Gale, his hurt written clear across his pain, slowly understanding it. She was simultaneously angry that he could think so little about her feelings for him and understood exactly why he did. She was trying to think of the right thing to say when someone knocked on the door.

Gale cursed loudly and went to answer it.

"Ahh, good, you're both here. You'll want to hear this," Haymich said, moving to push his way inside.

"We're kind of in the middle of something," Gale said, trying to block him.

"Congratulations," Haymich said indifferently, as he continued coming in. He threw a bunch of papers at Katniss. "That's for you."

"What is it?" she said, looking down and trying to filter her thoughts, so much of her mind still swirling around her and Gale's conversation.

"The script."

"I've already got it," she said, annoyed Haymitch was interrupting her and Gale when he'd already given it to her.

"We changed it," Haymitch said, as he began fiddling with a switch on the wall.

"Why?"

Haymitch finally found what he was looking for, and part of the wall suddenly became digital. It was a TV. Katniss had never realized it was there before.

"Because of this," he said flatly, switching the TV on.

And in the screenspace before them, Katniss saw Peeta preparing to talk to Caesar.


	33. Chapter 33

"Now, Peeta, dear boy, what do you have to say about this?"

One of the pictures Katniss had taken earlier in the day appeared behind them.

"Because I, for one, am just shocked." Caesar turned to the crowd, his fingers delicately placed to his chest, as his lips formed a frown.

A few more images screened behind him.

"Could this really be the Katniss Everdeen we all know and love?" Caesar begged his audience's reaction. They happily obliged.

"Well, I know a thing or two about knowing and loving Katniss, Caesar," Peeta said with a charming smile, and Katniss felt repulsed. "And all I can say is it certainly looks shocking, yes."

"She appears to be conspiring with rebels. With traitors."

The crowd gasped, horrified.

"That's what it looks like, yes," Peeta said again. Caesar was starting to pick up that that didn't exactly mean he agreed.

"Why, whatever do you mean, Peeta?"

"Well, I think you folks here at the Capitol know better than most that things aren't always as they appear."

The crowd tensed, uneasy.

"I mean, I was at a party the other day, and out the windows was the most beautiful beach views. A perfect, pink sunset. It didn't even occur to me there wasn't a beach nearby until I realized that sun was still setting well past midnight."

The crowd laughed at Peeta's simple mistake, his naiveté. It somehow made him endearing.

"Ah, I think I see what you're getting at, Peeta."

"And just today, as I was walking through the streets, I saw a girl, she looked exactly like a cat…"

"So, you're saying things aren't always what they seem."

"All I'm saying is that that girl had pointy ears and a tail. But she wasn't a cat, Caesar."

The crowd laughs again. _Peeta is so good at this,_ Katniss thought.

"So you're not convinced Katniss is a rebel?"

"Not only am I not convinced, but I know she isn't a rebel."

"But Peeta, how can you be so sure?"

"No one knows Katniss better than I do."

The crowd cooed, loving his dedication to their relationship. Katniss wanted to punch him in the nose.

"But Peeta, she's been gone how many months? And the photographs there, they prove she's with the rebel."

"Oh, she's with them. That much is obvious."

"I'm not sure I'm following you, my boy," Caesar continued.

"I think they took her…" Peeta looked straight into the camera as he said it. The crowd gasped and murmured. "I mean, they knew how popular we are at the Capitol…" The crowded agreed, remembering their favorite victors. "And how powerful our love story is…"

"Look at him, getting all choked up," Haymitch said with mock impression as he looked to Gale and Katniss.

Peeta's performance was exemplary, though, Katniss found herself wishing the choking was a bit more literal.

"There, there, Peeta," Caesar comforted, extending a hand to his knee. Peeta looked up, thankful for the support.

"You know, Katniss always just wanted to help people. She wouldn't want to hurt anyone!"

The audience nodded and murmured accordingly.

Gale shook his head, stopping an angry laugh. He sometimes couldn't believe how these people were also responsible for holding the Games. _If they think that,_ he thought, _how can they justify throwing kids into the arena to kill each other?_

"I mean, just look at her," Peeta stood up, throwing his arm to Katniss's picture on the screen. "Does she look happy to be there?"

The audience began to agree more vigorously.

 _What does Peeta know about me being happy?_ Katniss glowered to herself. _The only person I've ever been happy with is Gale…_

"She's their prisoner! They took her and they're trying to use her. Manipulate her. Sacrifice her for their sick plans!"

The audience roared in response this time. Peeta had them in his hands. Those images, the one the rebels had worked so hard on, no longer showed the encouraging promise of rebels working together but Katniss standing amidst her captors.

"They took her from me," he said with a struggled sob, "took her from us!"

Haymitch chuckled. "I knew that boy was good but," he let out a low whistle, "I never thought he'd be that good." He turned to look at Katniss and Gale. "Now, this part's my favorite," Haymitch said in a double edged tone, turning back to the screen and pointing.

"I'm sure Haymitch is behind it," Peeta said, sitting back down and composing himself.

"Really?" Caesar said.

"Yes," Peeta said without a hint of doubt. "Just look at how he's looking at her, in some of these photos, always keeping his eyes on her…so she can't escape…"

"And here I thought the eye contact was a sign of respect," Haymitch said. He pulled a flask – Katniss had no idea where he'd gotten it or what was in it – and took a long swig.

"Well, we all know Haymitch Abernathy has problems…" Caesar agreed. "But how could he have pulled this off?"

"I'm sure he had help. But Katniss trusted him, looked up to him, he was our mentor, after all. But he was always ungrateful, for everything the Capitol'd done for him," Peeta's eyes shone earnestly as he looked out to the crowd. They nodded and cooed and sympathized with him. "He must have tricked her, fooled her, and given her to his rebel allies."

Caesar looked at Peeta and nodded. It certainly seemed reasonable.

"And under the bus I go," Haymitch said, pausing the screen, having had enough. "And after everything I did for that boy…"

"But why…" Katniss said desperately, looking to both men. "Why is he saying all that?"

"To discredit our photos…take away the idea of a threat of a unified rebellion...now, we're no longer a formidable network of powerful people working together. But a bunch of kidnappers…"

"And to save you," Gale said, looking down at her. Haymitch pointed to him and nodded.

"Right. He simultaneously managed to knock out legs out right from under us and still paint you in a pretty light." Haymitch managed to seem more impressed than hurt at what'd just happened.

"Is it that bad?" Katniss asked, remembering how excited the crew was about the shoot bringing more people to their cause.

"It's not good for me," Haymitch said, "They've already rounded up a few of my friends..."

"To question them?" Katniss asked, noticing the strange look on Haymitch's face. "They won't say anything, right?"

Haymitch let out a snarled laugh, "Nope, they sure won't be saying much of anything."

Her eyes darted to Gale, not quite understanding. He shook his head solemnly. _Oh,_ she gulped, realizing, _they're not being questioned…they're being killed._

"Is Cinna okay?"

"Yeah," Haymitch said. "He's very careful. And he sent his family out of the Capitol about a week ago. I think we're going to try to bring them here."

"Cinna has a family?" Katniss said, not sure why this information surprised her so, but it did.

"Yeah," Haymitch said with a small laugh. "He's got three boys. And a husband."

"Are you going to be okay?" Katniss asked, looking to her mentor, eyes wide and sincerely. Katniss wasn't certain, but she thought it looked like Haymitch appreciated her asking.

"As long as we win the rebellion I will. So…"

"What do we have to do now?" Katniss asked quickly, eagerly.

"Well," Haymitch began, "we need more convincing propaganda to spread to the districts…people need to see there's a chance, they need to think we're a power."

"Okay," Katniss said, nodding, "so why don't I do something with Thirteen? Show them I'm here…that'll surely—"

"That's not gonna happen, sweetheart," Haymitch said.

"Why?"

"Thirteen won't risk exposing itself," Gale said, already understanding.

"What do you mean, they're already helping!"

"Yes," Haymitch said, "but at no risk to themselves."

"They don't want to expose themselves until they're certain the rebellion will win," Gale said.

"But that's stupid!" Katniss cried.

"No, it's," Gale said, pausing, "basic survival. If they come out now, the Capitol will just strike them. Try and destroy them, maybe."

Haymitch grunted and nodded.

"Fine," Katniss said, not liking the answer, but relenting, "what do we have to do then? How do we show the rebels are a greater force? Inspire more people to join us?"

"We're going to Eight," Haymitch said.

"What?"

"Yep, we're going, you, me, all the other rebels from Twelve we can gather, we're going to Eight and we're going to show that the Districts are working together. I think even a few from Seven are going to show up. Hopefully, it'll be enough to make the other districts start to organize as well."

"How will we know…?"

"Beetee monitors communication…he's got all sorts of secret ways," Haymitch explained, "we've got leaders set up in all the districts, but support is pretty scarce in Six and Five, and almost none existent in Three and Two. And we still don't know what's going on in Nine, Ten, and Eleven…"

"But this will help?" She asked.

"Let's hope so. For your sake as much as mine," Haymitch told her.

"And what's…." Katniss hesitated and furtively shot her eyes up to Gale's, she didn't want to upset him, especially after their previous discussion, but she had to know. "What's going on with Peeta."

She could feel Gale tense beside her as she asked the question.

"Hell if I know, or care much for that matter now," Haymitch grumbled. But when he looked Katniss in the eyes, he knew he had to give her a better answer. "We don't really know. Cinna's been trying multiple methods to meet with him, talk to him, but he's refused each one of them. Best I can figure is he's agreed to be the Capitol's puppet for your safety."

Katniss suddenly felt awful. The resentment that'd been bubbling within her as she heard him lie about their relationship and discredit the rebellion faded as she realized he was just doing what he could to protect her. And the distant words echoed in her ears: _we protect each other, that's what we do._

But if Peeta kept down this path, she didn't know how much protection she'd be able to offer him.

"Can I talk to him?" she asked.

"What? You're not going to the Capitol!" Gale voice fell hard and harsh.

"I know," she said softly, trying to reassure him, reaching for his hand. He let her take it, but she couldn't help but notice how cold his fingers were. "I mean, couldn't Beetee arrange something? Through Cinna?"

"Maybe," Haymitch grumbled, "I'll see what I can do. But I'm not going to lie to you, sweetheart, he's not exactly a priority to me right now."

"That's fine," Katniss said. She wasn't sure she could forgive Peeta for what he'd just done to Haymitch either, but she knew she couldn't just give up on him completely.

"Okay," Haymitch shrugged. "Well, there's your script. Learn it, and learn it well. We won't have much time in Eight, so we don't have time for…"

"Okay," Katniss said.

"You passed all your tests yet?" Haymitch asked as he headed to the door.

Gale shook his head gravely and met Haymitch's eyes. They both knew what that meant.

"He's only got one more!" Katniss said.

"It doesn't matter how many he's got left, sweetheart. Rules are rules, especially here. And it's a shame too, because he's a damn good man to have in the field."

With that, Haymitch left, and Katniss looked at Gale.

They stood in silence for a few moments, each processing all the new information they'd just received. Katniss finally spoke first.

"I want you to come tomorrow."

Gale looked at her, a range of emotions tugging at his face. He wanted to go with her too, but he also knew he couldn't, and as much as he wanted to break the rules, he knew it was in their best interest to abide by them in the long run.

"Because I love you," Katniss finally added, hastily. "When I said that, I meant it because I love you and want you with me."

Gale smiled, "I know, Catnip."

"Are you sure?" she asked, not fully convinced.

"Yeah," Gale said, folding her into a hug. "I'm sure." He leaned down and kissed her head. With everything else they had going on now, Gale didn't want to argue with Katniss anymore.

"I'll say it more often, I promise," Katniss said.

"That's alright, Catnip, just…" Gale paused as he considered asking her this, but he had to know for sure. "You don't want to marry me, do you?"

"No," Katniss said too quickly before she even considered how it might make Gale feel. "No, Gale, hey," she grabbed his face in her hands, seeing his hurt. "I just told you I loved you and I meant it. I just mean…seriously…do you want to worry about a wedding right now?"

Gale chuckled slightly. He'd never thought of it quite like that.

"Are you upset?" She really wanted to know. "I mean, it just seems like…such a waste."

Gale'd never thought of it quite like that, and he wasn't sure he agreed with her. "I guess, to me, marriage means us being a family legally and rightly in front of the world, and that means something to me," he told her honestly.

Katniss pressed herself against his body as she considered his point, though she still couldn't quite make herself care what the rest of the world thought about them.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "I sometimes just wish, if I hold you tight enough, the world will just be the two of us...the three of us…and everything else will disappear."

Gale ran his hands up and down her back and held her strongly.

"And that means I love you, too," she said looking up at him.

"Okay," he half laughed. He got the message loud and clear, taking her hands in his and loosening her from him a bit. "I love you too," he said, leaning in to kiss her. "But I've still got to workout tonight…"

Katniss pouted slightly, but she knew Gale'd been through a rough day. It was already late, and he'd gotten up early to study too, so she didn't want to put any more pressure on him. "Okay," she said, kissing him softly on the lips. "Don't work too hard."

Gale smiled as he stripped off his shirt and started to change.

"See, that means I love you too. But it shows that I care and am looking out—"

Gale laughed, grabbed Katniss and kissed her deeply. "I get it, I get it."

Gale came back noiselessly after his workout and cursed quietly when he realized he couldn't take a shower because he and Katniss had used up their water supply. He wiped himself down with a washcloth in the sink, and crawled into bed as quietly as he could.

Katniss was mostly asleep, but mumbled and moved at his presence, pulling one of his arms around her and pressing one of his hands to her stomach. Gale lips moved to form a kiss he wasn't even sure reached her skin as he quickly fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, they both had to awaken at the same time: Katniss to get suited as the Mockingjay and Gale to finish his tests.

Once suited up, Katniss sat on the hovercraft with a smug look on her face. As her team dressed her and she read the script, her own power and influence became clear to her, and she decided to use it to her advantage. She was still glowing when Haymitch sat next you her.

"I heard what you did," he said.

"Yeah?" She said with a smile, half expecting praise.

"I wouldn't be too pleased with myself if I were you," her mentor told her.

Katniss was about to why when she started hearing the other soldiers jeer.

She had demanded Gale go with her even though he hadn't finished his training. But she hadn't realized this special treatment would come at a price.

Several muttered insults under their breath and a few made the sound of a whip cracking as Gale approached the ship.

He looked straight ahead, eyes unflinching and stood rigid as he approached.

"Well, if it isn't the pussy whipped pretty boy himself…"

"What, you didn't bring her flowers?"

"Look, he's wearing a uniform. I thought he'd just be wearing a collar and leash."

"Easy now, sweetheart," Haymitch said, seeing Katniss tense and the muscles in her body twitch. "Anything you do now will just make it worse."

"Not if I tell them to shut up," she growled.

"You really don't know much about men, do you?" Haymitch chuckled. "You think you standing up for Gale now will make this better somehow?"

Katniss saw his point and exhaled unhappily.

"These are the best trained soldiers from Thirteen. They worked years to get where they are, trained rigorously…and you brought Gale here when he hadn't even finished his training…"

"That's still not an excuse to say these…"

"This is what men do, sweetheart. Gale will prove himself soon enough, don't worry." Haymitch chucked.

Katniss scowled slightly and made a mental note to ask what other things men did when she wasn't around.

The insults were still flying as Gale took his seat next to Katniss.

"Sorry, Gale, I didn't realize—"

"Don't worry about it, Catnip," he said looking down and smiling at her. It took a bit more effort for him to smile than it normally did, but he knew Katniss didn't know this would happen when she insisted he come. And, the price was still worth it to him in his opinion. He didn't want Katniss anywhere near the rebellion without him.

"Alright, you knuckleheads, shut up," Haymitch began. But the men kept laughing and snickering around him. "Ay, shut up!" His voice cracked like thunder and held terrifying authority. Katniss had never heard him speak that way before. "Alright now, as you all know, we're headed to District Eight today to meet with the rebel leaders there. We're going to be assessing their situation and filming some stuff to spread to the other Districts. Just so we're all clear, today, I'm in charge…"

"Yeah, you just tell us when to say cheese and smile, all right boss?" One particularly cocky soldier said, looking at Haymitch and voice dripping with condescension.

Moving faster than a flash, Haymitch was suddenly at the man's throat, lifting him a few inches of the ground with his bare hands with a strength Katniss didn't even know he possessed.

They man's legs were kicking as his fingers clawed around Haymitch's grasp. Haymitch looked him sharply in the eyes and gave him one more squeeze before dropping him.

"Like I was saying, I'm in change. You're going to listen to me unless you gophers want to spend the rest of your lives living underground. So, do you or do you not want to go start a rebellion?"

The men roared enthusiastically. A few minutes before, Katniss was thinking there was nothing they could ever do to make her like him, but she suddenly realized what a fighting force they must be and was happy they were on her side.

As Haymitch outlined their mission, Katniss let her fingers slide over to Gale's and hooked them in his fro strength. He looked down at her and smiled softly. She knew everything would be okay.

They were taking many precautions and landed in a thick, forested area a few miles outside the district. Gale took a few deep breaths and seemed lighter out in the woods. Katniss noticed his reaction. The second hovercraft, holding a few extras from Twelve and the film crew, landed a few moments after them.

A guide from Eight was waiting for them. His name was Bevel and he walked with a bit of a limp, though it didn't seem to impede his speed any. As they made their way to the rebel's headquarters, which he explained were in an abandoned old factory, he yammered excitedly about how happy they were to have them come. Katniss and Haymitch walked close to him, the film crew behind, and the elite soldiers focused and at attention, flanking their sides.

The fence around District Eight wasn't like the one in Twelve. It was built of thick, concrete cinders, and they had to manually remove loose bricks to get in. A few of the soldiers went first, and when they deemed it ready, every once filed in single file.

The headquarters were nearby, and inside, their crew found a few dozen people, mostly armed, standing around. Bevel led Haymitch and Katniss to their leader, Sisal Organdy.

Katniss could easily pick him out from several yards away. He was a tall, muscular man with dark, swarthy skin and a bright, white smile which he seemed to wear easily. She heard his deep, hearty laugh as they got closer and then realized he had quite the gap between his front teeth.

He was flanked by a few of his top members, and Katniss took special notice of a woman with tan skin that almost looked gold and auburn hair she wore in an afro. She was standing next to Organdy, and very close.

In front of the man was a woman whose back was turned to the approaching group. She appeared to be the source of Organdy's laughter.

"Oh, you've never met him? When you do, you'll know what I mean. Plutarch is brilliant, for sure, but I've never met a man more full of himself. And I've spent quality time with Finnick Odair. He's also pretty full of shit and a lot of fine cheeses, I'd bet, but my father trusted him…."

Organdy let out another roll of laughter before looking up to greet Haymitch. The woman, dressed for combat, must have sensed their arrival. She spun around, and the axe she had draped across her shoulders nearly sliced Haymitch's nose.

"Great, you're here," he said warily.

"Aww, Haymitch, it's good to see you too," she said, winking at him and stepping aside to see the rest of the group. "Well, aren't you gorgeous," she said, noticing Gale and looking him up and down.

Katniss didn't know who this woman was, but she decided she didn't like her.

"Everyone, this is Sisal Organdy, he's in charge of the rebellion in Eight. Next to him is Calico Damask, his next in command, and this," he said with a weary breath, "is Johanna Mason, representing Seven."

Johanna waved girlishly and winked again, this time at Gale.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Organdy said. His voice was as deep as his laughter, "and we're happy to have you here." He extended his hand to Haymitch first. "And, you must be the Mockingjay," he said, now reaching for Katniss.

As she reached to greet him, she noticed his hands were not only easily three times her size, but also that he was missing both of his middle fingers, the pinky on his left hand, and part of his ring on the right.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh, "lost those working with the machines here...Give a whole new meaning to giving the Capitol the finger, eh?" He laughed royally again.

Katniss looked at the man, a bit uneasy, but smiled. She thought she could like him.

The film crew came up and introduced themselves. Jocer, Max, and Trigo were there to take photographs, but this time a woman, whose name was Cressida, was leading a film crew. She had fierce, vine tattoos climbing up her neck, face, and shaved head like she was being swallowed, and she spoke like she was in charge.

Katniss was a bit surprised at how easily Organdy took direction, but she picked up that he and his team were ready and will to do whatever what needed to get the rebellion started. In between shots of him talking to Haymitch, her standing near them with Johanna as they looked over documents and counted supplies, she learned that he was he was very eager to learn when the rebellion would actually start.

"I'm just saying, brother," Organdy said, knocking Haymitch so hard on the back that he had to jump a step forward, "I've got several men who are gunning to go. And it's hard to bring more to the cause when the one's who're already heer are beginning to wonder why they are…"

"I see you're point," Haymitch said diplomatically.

"Hey, boys, less chitchat," Cressida barked. Katniss wondered if that woman knew who she was taking to. "I've got a tight schedule to keep…"

"I like her," Johanna said, clearly impressed. "That girl's got balls."

Katniss looked at Johanna curiously.

After Katniss had read the script in front of the locals from Eight, who all cheered and roared rallyingly enough to make Plutarch proud, she walked around the old factory to see the other people.

"God, what a load of crap," Johanna said as she passed.

Even though Katniss didn't like Plutarch's script either, she decided she really didn't like that girl.

Gale started to follow Katniss, but Cressida called him. "Hey, you, good-looking one. Yeah, you, I want you in the shot," she motioned for him to come closer.

Gale grumbled but Katniss promised she wasn't going far, so Gale complied.

As Katniss made her rounds, she noted how excited some of the people were to see her.

"Hey, look, the Mockingjay!"

"They say she's here to save us."

Katniss smiled and shook hands, wishing she knew what to say to reassure these people. Jocer and his team followed close behind her, capturing several shots.

Once away from the crowd, Katniss saw a group of kids, much younger than Prim, trying to climb up a corner.

"Hey, guys, what are you doing?" she said with a smile.

They turned and looked at her shame-faced like they'd been caught.

"Don't worry," she said sweetly, "you're not in trouble. What are you doing?"

"We're trying to get up there," one finally spoke up.

Katniss looked up and saw the iron rafters that crossed the building. "Why?"

"Because, we can jump to the roof of the building next to this from that opening up there," the kid pointed.

Katniss followed his tiny finger up and saw the opening he was talking about.

"Then we can jump to the roof of the Justice Building from there and climb down into the storage room."

"They keep crackers and cookies in there!" Another one added excitedly.

Katniss found herself wanting to scold the kids, tell them how dangerous their idea was, but she realized that must be the new mother in her. What she and Gale had done when they were young was probably far more dangerous than this. So she smiled at the kids and resolved to help them. "You want a leg up?"

The kids all nodded eagerly.

She made a stirrup with her hands and helped hoist the three boys up. Once they'd made it to the first level, it was easy for them to climb up to the rafters. She carefully watched them as they scampered across one of the beams and made it to the window.

Katniss held her breath as the first boy stood up, arms stretched out for balance, and made a little jump. Since she didn't hear a scream of terror, she assumed he made it safely. The other two boys quickly followed suite. She was proud of herself for helping them on their adventure.

As she made it back towards the crowd, she heard Cressida say she got everything she needed.

"Alright, guys, I think that's everything. You did great."

Haymitch and Organdy were shaking hands as Gale immediately went to Katniss's side.

"Finished?" she asked, leaning into him.

"I think so. Organdy said some good stuff. I can actually see it motivating people. And that girl Johanna…"

Katniss immediately narrowed her eyes. She wasn't going to like anything Gale could have said at that point.

But Gale never got to finish his sentence.

A loud explosion immediately rocked the warehouse, breaking a few windows and shaking dust from the rafters.

Organdy threw open the doors and many of his men grabbed arms.

As the group looked outside, they saw billows of smoke and flames rising. And it was coming from the Justice Building.

Organdy swore. Haymitch was asking what the hell was going on. Other people were asking what they should do. But all Katniss could think about were the children—the children she'd helped get to the Justice Building.

"The children!" she said to Gale, her eyes wide with alarm, tears already forming.

Before Gale could ask her what on earth she was talking about, she began sprinting towards the flames.

"Katniss, what the hell, wait!" Gale rushed after her. But by the time he caught after her, she'd already made it to the streets. They were wide in the open, and the Peacekeepers saw them.

Gale grabbed her forcefully and dragged her to the nearest cover in an alley as the Peacekeepers shot at them.

"Damn it, Katniss, what the hell were you thinking?" Gale screamed at her.

Several of Organdy's men, armed, flooded into the street and fired back at the peacekeepers as the pedestrian civilians ran for cover. The sounds of shots and screaming clogged the air.

"The children, Gale, I helped them!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He said, holding his weapon ready.

"In the Justice Building. I helped…and they're in there. We need to save them!" She looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. _Why didn't he understand?_

Several shots suddenly came towards their direction. Gale pushed Katniss down and fired back.

"Katniss, hey Katniss!" he had to shake her slightly to look at him. "I want you to follow me, okay?"

"To the Building?"

"No," he said definitively.

"But Gale, we have to save them!" Katniss couldn't bear to think of the children, probably coughing in the smoke, burning in the flames. More tears fell from her eyes.

"Katniss," he grabbed her and brought her forehead to his lips. "They're gone, okay?"

She looked at him like she didn't understand. "We have to…we have to try…" she said, weaker this time.

"I'm sorry. I need you to follow me, okay? You stay behind me. I don't want you doing anything brave. Or stupid. Or anything at all, okay?"

Katniss looked at him and nodded, still processing all the information. She could hear screaming. Weapons firing. The fire roaring.

"I'm serious, Katniss. You stay behind me." He looked at her with a severity he never had before. The few times the pair had faced danger before, they'd always faced it as equals. But today, Gale was in charge, and he didn't particularly care how Katniss felt about it. He was taking her and their child to safety.

"Ready," he asked. She nodded, still processing everything and not exactly understanding.

"I helped them, Gale, it's all my fault!"

Gale pulled her to her feet. He grabbed face and pressed her forehead to his lips and kissed her, wiping way a few of her tears with his thumb.

"I need you to do exactly as I say, do you understand me?"

She looked him in the eyes and nodded.

"I'm serious, Katniss. Tell me you'll do exactly as I say."

It took her a moment to find the words, but she finally managed. "I will."

"Okay. Come on."

Gale led them to the entrance of the alley and peaked out. The opening was littered with bodies, and he pressed Katniss tightly behind him to shield her from both the bullets and the view. There was no way they were making it through there. They had to turn back and find a different way.

Gale led Katniss down to the alley's opposite end. He didn't know where it led, exactly, but it currently.

"Come on," Gale said, "Quickly." They ran across the open street to another building.

They made it just in time too, but a squad of peacekeepers came marching down the street. Gale pressed them tightly against the wall. Luckily, they weren't noticed.

They ran from building to building in the direction Gale best guessed was back to the warehouse.

As the noise grew louder, he knew they were close to their friends. But also the danger.

Gale was considering hiding Katniss and going out on his own when two of the elite soldiers from Thirteen found them. One was the one who'd back talked Haymitch.

"There you are, we've been looking everywhere for you!" He screamed, ushering them to him.

"What's going on?" Gale asked.

"Some of the rebels here decided to blow up the Justice Building while there were cameras in town. They thought it was their best shot at getting the rebellion started."

Gale swore. "Did Organdy know about this?"

"He says he doesn't, but hard to tell. He and the other rebels from Eight have joined in the fighting now. So's Haymitch and that girl with the axe."

"Haymitch is fighting?" Katniss didn't even know what she asked.

"Yeah," the man said, "now come on."

Whatever Katniss had previously thought of these men, she quickly forgot. They were very well trained, and took out several peacekeepers on their way back to the warehouse. It seemed they also changed their mind about Gale too because they were clearly impressed with his combat capabilities.

"Maybe you didn't need all that training after all," the man Katniss formerly thought was a jerk said. "It's Hawthorne, right?"

"Yeah," Gale said with a bit of a proud smile.

The young man smiled back. "I'm…"

But neither Gale nor Katniss ever learned the name of the young man who'd just saved their lives. Instead, they watched him fall to their feet, blood pouring out of a hole between his eyes and the smile still on his lips.

"Shit," his comrade screamed, instantly pulling Katniss behind him. "Fall back! Fall back!"

She was still staring at his open eyes as they dragged her into a nearby warehouse.

"They're sending in reinforcements," the other soldier told Gale. And he meant the peacekeepers. They soon heard more troops marching outside their window.

"Do you know how to get back?" Gale asked.

"How to get there, yes. How we'll make it…" the man spoke honestly and Gale nodded. "Does she know how to shoot?"

Katniss was a bit offended the man was asking Gale this and not herself. But then she realized she wasn't acting very heroic or independent. She resolved to get ahold of herself.

"I can shoot."

Gale looked like he was about to say something, but he knew they'd be better off is she was equally armed. The soldier handed her one of his spare guns.

Katniss had never actually shot a gun before, and she hoped it wasn't too different from shooting an arrow. Gale must have read her mind because he immediately told her how to unlock the safety and fire.

They made it out into another series of alleyways where they were able to pick off a few more peacekeepers and finally ran into Cressida's film crew.

"Can you believe this," Cressida asked them, clearly excited, "we're getting such good stuff!"

The soldier looked at her like she was crazy. He only understood war from a soldier's point of view. "We're trying to get back to command."

"What?" She didn't understand why he'd want to get back there. "The fighting's all in the streets!"

"I know. Which is why we're trying to get away from it."

"But it'd be great to get a shot of the Mockingjay in action!"

"That's not happening. It's my job to make sure she stays out of harm's way. And that's what I'm going to do."

Both Katniss and Gale were a bit surprised that the soldier was the one who said that.

Cressida huffed and looked at the crossly. She was deciding if she should stick with them, and try to get something useful with Katniss in it, or try to go out and seek greater action.

"Fine," she said, "the base it that way. We'll show you."

She led the way while both of her cameramen followed.

The group snaked their way through a few more streets, stopping for cover and the occasional crossfire, when they made it to the original warehouse. Inside, Haymitch was shouting orders, people were running around, and the wounded were being carried in.

"Haymitch!" Katniss said, running up to him.

"Oh, you're alive, good," he said, momentarily relived. "You're not hurt?"

She shook her head.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he yelled, remembering how ran out into danger. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"I wanted to…" Katniss tried to explain about the children, but she didn't get to. There was too much chaos around and Haymitch didn't have time.

"I've got one hovercraft waiting to get you out. Go now."

"What about you?"

"I'm staying here, sweetheart."

"What?" Katniss didn't understand.

"The rebellion's started, sweetheart. And I'm part of it whether I like it or not."

Katniss's eyes locked with his, starting to understand.

"Plus, I think these fools need me," he said with a forced grin.

Katniss nodded, though tears started to well in her eyes. Haymitch hooked her in an uncharacteristic hug.

"Don't worry, Gale'll take care of you." He said. But that wasn't what Katniss was worried about.

"Who's going to take care of you?" she asked, a tear now falling.

Haymitch only cackled. "Go on now, get out of here," he said, turning to work with the rebels from Eight.

Gale watched, marveling at the relationship he and Katniss had and realizing again how he underestimated the Victors' bond. Gale grabbed her and they, the film crew, and the soldier headed back towards the hovercraft.

They stopped when they could see the fence in view. It was a good twenty yards from their position, and they'd have to follow it for another several yards to get to the opening.

The soldier mentioned for them to get down, somehow sensing a car of peacekeepers was about to pass. And he was right, it did. A few minutes later, another passed.

"Looks like one is patrolling every five minutes," Gale said, and the man nodded.

"Okay," the soldier said. "Gale, you cover me while I run over. Once I've determined it's clear, I want you guys to follow me," he said to Cressida and her men, "and then you two after the next patrol passes."

Gale held his weapon tightly and nodded. Without a hint of fear, the soldier sprinted across the open area and flattened himself against the fence. Once he'd established it was safe, he signaled, and Cressida and her two cameramen went after him. He helped them through the opening and then jumped through himself.

Gale and Katniss held their breath as they waited for the next patrol to pass, and both tensed when they heard the footsteps approaching.

But these footsteps weren't coming from the street ahead of them. They were coming from behind. And Gale realized it a moment too late.

"There! Two rebels!" A peacekeeper shouted.

Gale cursed and threw Katniss behind him to shoot back. The peacekeepers dodged for cover and Gale grabbed Katniss and ran. The next patrol was coming any minute, and they could only hope to run and make it to the opening in the fence before they arrived.

Katniss held her gun commandingly as they ran, and the soldier, hearing the gun fire, poked his head through.

"Hurry up!" he screamed at them.

They were almost at the opening when the gun fire started. The soldier jumped out into the open and began firing. Gale pushed Katniss ahead as he turned to open fire as well. One of Cressida's camera men stuck his head out, offering a hand to help pull Katniss through the opening. She could almost reach his hand when she watched the soldier fall, a bullet hitting him in the head, and scream.

It took her only half a second to realize he wasn't the one who'd screamed. He'd fallen dead. That's when Katniss realized—Gale.

She turned and saw Gale, lying in the street, surrounded by blood and dirt. He'd been hit.


	34. Chapter 34

"Gale!" Katniss screamed, horror filling her body as she looked at him, lying in the street.

He turned to look at her. He was wounded, but alive.

"Katniss, don't you dare!" he yelled at her, "get out! Now!" he screamed as he kept firing at the peacekeepers who were slowly advancing.

But Katniss didn't listen. She wrenched the weapon from the fallen soldier's hands and shot at the peacekeepers.

Her eyes were on fire and her aim was perfect. The three who'd been marching towards them fell to their knees. Katniss sent a few more scrambled shots to make the one's who'd been covering them dive for safety. She took the moment to sprint back to Gale. She fired a few more shots in the peacekeeper's direction, then threw his arm around her shoulder and started back to the fence.

They were almost back to the fence when another shot rang loud. The cameraman jumped out, running to help Gale, while Katniss turned and returned fire.

"Stop!" a peacekeeper barked at her, "or you'll all die!"

"If we're going to die, we're going to die fighting!" she screamed back. Her aim and anger was deadly. Four peacekeepers fell and the others ran for cover.

Katniss swung the gun around her shoulder and ran to the fence. There, the cameraman pulled her through.

"That was brilliant," Cressida said. She was standing on the other cameraman's shoulders and was filming from over the fence. Katniss briefly considered shooting her as well but turned to Gale.

"Gale, Gale!" she tried not to panic, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, Catnip, I'm fine," he said.

"No you're not. You're shot!"

Gale's leg was bleeding. Katniss cut the strap off the rifle she'd picked up and tried a tourniquet around his thigh.

"I'll be okay, Catnip."

Katniss grabbed his hand and looked in his eyes and tried her hardest to believe him.

"Can you walk?" Cressida asked.

"Yeah," Gale said.

Katniss tried to help him up and hated that she wasn't quite strong enough to do so. The friendly cameraman rushed over to help. He swung one of Gale's arms over his shoulder and helped him to his feet.

Katniss tried to put Gale arm around her shoulder as well, but the cameraman shook his hands, telling her to stop.

"He's got it," Cressida said.

"What?" Katniss didn't quite understand.

"He's an avox," the other cameraman said. "He can't speak."

"Oh," Katniss said.

But the man just smiled, and they made their way back to the hovercraft.

"It's about damn time!" the pilot screamed as he saw them enter the clearing. He immediately started up the engines.

Cressida hopped aboard and both the men helped push Gale in, who muttered that he didn't need the help. Katniss paid frantic attention to him, carefully buckling him in and beginning to pay closer attention to his wounds as the hovercraft started to take off. He was not only shot in the leg, but she now noticed in the shoulder too.

"Oh my god, Gale," she said.

"Don't, Catnip," he said weakly. But she didn't listen. She started undoing his uniform to attend to the wound near his neck.

As soon as Katniss moved to sit across from him, she heard a sharp  _thunk_. Gale eye's sparked alert to make sure she was okay. He grabbed her hands and pulled her back into her seat. It was only then that she looked down and saw the metal that'd sliced through the floor of the craft.

 _Had something shot them?_ Katniss thought when she heard:

"Are you going to help me or what?"

Johanna Mason was dangling outside the door. It was her axe that struck into the floor. And she was hanging from its end. She had jumped, cleaving her axe into the ship, to catch a ride.

"Holy shit…" Cressida said, looking down. And her two men flattened themselves to the floor and reached down to help pull her in.

"Thanks, boys," Johanna said, jumping to her feet and flicking the hair out of her eyes once on board. She knelt down and with a tremendous heft, pulled her axe from the ship's undercarriage, and then sat across from Gale.

"Oh, don't worry so much, that's just a flesh wound. He'll be fine," Johanna said, flashing her eyes to Gale as she began to wipe the blood off her axe. "Actually," she said, suddenly looking more carefully, "you might want to put a bit more pressure on that."

She threw the towel she'd been using on her axe at them.

Katniss cursed her under her breath but did apply more pressure. "Hang on, Gale," she said.

Gale's head was rested back and his eyes were closed, but he brought one of his hands up to Katniss's face and held it. She started to cry when he did and held his hand in hers, pressing it to her cheek and kissing it.

"It'll be okay," she said, trying to sound convincing. "It'll be okay…it'll be…"

"Yes, it  _will_ be okay," Johanna said with an annoyed huff. "God, how did such a crybaby ever win the Games?"

Katniss spun around, wanting to hit her. Johanna had stripped off half her uniform and was sitting, with her legs spread wide and her axe resting on her knees. But Johanna only laughed when she saw her face. She moved her shoulders forward threateningly, as if to challenge Katniss, but then giggled again.

"And I knew you were never into Peeta…" she said, swatting the air dismissively. "Finnick owes me fifty dollars…"

* * *

When they landed at Thirteen, a medical team was waiting for them. Gale was put on a stretcher and pushed to the emergency ward. Katniss tried to follow, but she wasn't allowed.

"No, I want to go…please…let me go with him."

"You've got to report in first," a uniformed man told her. "Come on, this way."

Katniss and Johanna were directed to a Major who was apperetnly in charge.

She asked them several questions about what happened, most of which Katniss couldn't answer, before sending her to shower.

"Wow…you're preggo!" Johanna said, toweling herself off and seeing Katniss emerge from the shower.

Katniss shot a dark look her way, but couldn't deny it in a towel.

"Is it the handsome one's?" she asked, dropping the towel to her feet and now standing entirely naked.

"His name's Gale."

"Good score," Johanna said, clearly approving of Katniss's choice in men. "He's way hotter than Peeta."

Katniss thought about throttling her then and there…there was no one in the locker room with them to stop her. And she didn't see Johanna's axe.

"God, they actually expect me to wear this?" she said, frowning at the jumpsuit that'd been given to her. "Maybe freedom's overrated…" she huffed as she put it on.

Katniss dressed as well and then both girls were led to a conference room. There Beetee was sitting at attention. As was Cressida who'd cleaned up as well. President Coin and General Piece soon entered.

Katniss and Beetee both stood up, but Johanna just looked around and blew some of the hair out of her eyes with a sharp breath.

"Mr. Latier," Coin said.

"Madam President," he politely shook her hand.

"Katniss."

Katniss hesitated a moment, but decided to take Coin's hand. "I want you to know, I've heard what's happened to Mr. Hawthorne. I've got the best doctor's tending to him."

Katniss smiled and thanked her.  _Perhaps Coin wasn't so bad after all…_ she thought.

"Welcome to Thirteen, Ms. Mason, I've had the pleasure of working with your father," Coin said, extending her hand to Johanna now.

Johanna looked around the room, taking in everyone eyes, before finally getting up. She dramatically reached out for the president's hand, but instead of shaking it, she kissed it.

She then giggled and sat back down, sitting low in the chair.

"Right," Coin said, clearly not sure what to make of the young woman. "Beetee, can you bring the others in?"

He nodded and started programming the screens before them.

"Okay, as you all know, we've had some unexpected events take place in Eight today…"

Johanna snorted.

Coin ignored her. "And General Pierce will be bringing us up to speed on what's going on."

The screens Beetee was tinkering with suddenly sparked to life.

Cinna appeared on once screen. Then Haymitch on the next. And then Lagan Corsair.

"Well, aren't you gorgeous?" Johanna practically purred, suddenly sitting up in her chair and alert. She bumped Katniss shoulder, as if looking for approval in her assessment.

"Johanna," Katniss said lowly, "war's just broken out…this isn't the time..."

"This is exactly the time…everything's more exciting when you're about to die," she said, licking her lips and waving coquettishly at Lagan.

"Today, rebels in Eight blew up the Justice Building…sparking a full scale rebellion in that district…"

Katniss couldn't make herself focus on what was being said. All she could think about was Gale. As the worry set in, she felt herself begin to sweat and her palms began to get clammy. She felt like she had swallowed fire and then her stomach started to cramp. Now, she started to wonder if she should worry about the baby, but the cramping passed quickly.

She only caught bits of the conversations that were going on around her.

Haymitch reported that large numbers of the citizens in Eight were joining arms, others were fleeing. But they were making moderate success for the day, but he knew that tomorrow, heavy reinforcements would probably arrive from the Capitol, and they'd be in trouble.

Cressida told them that her assistant, a woman named Messalla, had been receiving live feed the whole time and had already produced a few propos that could be sent out, showing the rebels in a strong light.

Lagan Corsair said Four was ready to fight, and Johanna, suddenly acting professional, also promised Seven's support.

Cinna informed them that the Capitol was scrambling, but would probably recover soon. His best guess was that they would announce the Quell early to try to scare the Districts and remind them of the costs of rebellion.

Thus, it was decided that the rebellion had to start now. Eight would be stamped out entirely if the peacekeepers didn't have to divert their resources. Also, the failure of Eight would probably only dampen the spirit of rebels in other districts. They had to take the momentum and go with it. Cressida was dismissed to finish the propos as soon as possible, which Beetee was then charged with distributing to the Districts. Lagan and Johanna were given the go ahead to plan their districts' strikes, and Haymitch was charged with keeping Eight's rebellion going. And Coin agreed to take in as many refugees as possible. There was some discussion of limited resources, however, and Thirteen wouldn't be able to accommodate too many more refugees after this.

Katniss didn't know how much time had passed, but suddenly, people were getting up to leave, so she followed suite. The only thing she could think about was getting to Gale, even though she was hungry and still felt a little sick, all she knew was she had to see him.

* * *

The first medical unit Katniss went to told her they didn't deal with emergencies, so she'd have to try elsewhere.

"Where?"

"He's probably at one of two places," the lady behind the counter said indifferently.

"Can you tell me which?"

"I'm not authorized to give out that information."

Katniss cursed and started running to the next location. Her stomach cramped as she did and she had to stop, cursing again, but still struggling to the room. Once she found the waiting area, she saw Hazelle sitting in a chair.

"Oh, Katniss!" Gale's mom immediately got up and threw her arms around her. "Oh, sorry," she said, backing away and recalling Katniss's attitude the earlier night.

"No, it's fine," Katniss said, hugging Hazelle back. "Have you heard anything? Is Gale…is he alright?"

"He's in surgery, that's all I know," Hazelle said, sitting back down. "They sent someone to get me, told me he'd be shot…" Hazelle said, trying not to sound panicked. "I didn't even know he was outside the district…I thought he was in training still…"

Katniss's face suddenly flushed. She didn't have the heart, or the courage, to tell Gale's mother she was the reason her son was in danger. She was the reason he'd been shot.

"I've been waiting almost an hour…no one's told me anything…" she started to sob.

Katniss reached for Hazelle's hand and tried to comfort her. Katniss new how close Gale and his mother were. She'd heard him talk of her fondly so often when they were out together in the woods. It was a closeness, a relationship, she never really understood until she saw it now.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear…" Hazelle finally said, getting ahold of herself. "I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. Can I get you anything? Do you want some water?"

Katniss actually did want some water, but she couldn't bring herself to ask for anything from Hazelle just then. She couldn't take advantage of her kindness.

"Mom," Vick said, scrambling into the room.

"Vicker! What are you doing here?" Hazelle asked sharply, "you're supposed to be taking care of your sister!"

"I left her with Rory," Vick explained, still huffing for air. "He just got back. I thought I should be here so someone could take care of you."

Hazelle sighed fondly and grabbed her youngest son. He was by far the sweetest. "Oh, my dear boy," Hazelle said, holding him to her and stroking the back of his head. "Thank you."

Katniss watched in amazement, wondering briefly why her family wasn't like that…and then wondering what she'd have to do to make her new family be like that, she thought, holding her stomach. She hoped Gale knew the answer.

The three kept waiting, each almost jumping every time a nurse or doctor came out into the waiting room, but none of them came over to address them.

An hour passed. And then another. And then four. Finally, a tired looking woman with dark hair came up to them.

"Are you Hazelle Hawthorne?"

"Yes," she said, jumping up.

"Gale Hawthorne's mother?"

"Yes," she said feverishly.

"Okay, he's just come out of surgery. You can go in to see him now. Who's this?" she said, looking down at Vick.

"This is my other son, Vick. Vicker Hawthorne."

"Okay," the nurse said, looking at her sheets. "And you?"

"I'm Katniss. Katniss Everdeen."

She flipped the sheet over. "You're not on the list."

"So?" Katniss couldn't imagine why that mattered.

"You're not cleared to go in. Only family's allowed."

The nurse moved aside to let Hazelle and Vick pass. Katniss tried to follow, but she stopped her.

"Only family's allowed in," the nurse repeated.

"But I'm…" Katniss didn't actually know what she was. Girlfriend seemed like too weak a word. And best friend didn't seem like quite enough. For the first time, Katniss felt herself wanting the word  _wife._

"I'm carrying his baby," said tried, but the nurse remained unmoved. "Hazelle!" Katniss called, her voice desperate.

"She is," Hazelle endorsed her.

"She's not family. I can't let her in."

Hazelle took a deep breath, looked at Katniss. She was about to go, Vick tugging at her arm, when she added. "Can I sign a waiver or something?"

"You can fill out a visitor's request. But it'll have to be approved."

"Okay," Hazelle said, and then she turned to leave.

Hazelle wasn't unsympathetic, but she had to see her son. Once she knew Gale was alright, then she would worry about Katniss.

"Hazelle, please!" Katniss called, tears filling her eyes.

But she and Vick were already through the doors.

Katniss sat back down in the waiting area and tried to calm herself. She told herself that once Hazelle saw that Gale was alive, she'd immediately figure out how to get her in. She told herself Hazelle only needed fifteen minutes to do that. And then twenty. And then half an hour.

As Katniss sat waiting, Gale's words about marriage swirled around her head. She cursed herself for not listening to him.

Two hours had almost passed and Katniss was still sitting there when her mother came out.

"Is that…Katniss…dear…what are you doing?"

"Mom?" Katniss's voice broke.

"Dear, you look…" Anise was thinking awful, but she could tell her daughter already knew that.

Katniss's mom had been about to get off work, but she led Katniss back into one of the nurses rooms and immediately began treating her daughter.

"Mom…" Katniss started to sob, "Gale's been…Gale's been…"

"Shot. I know, dear. But he'll be okay. Now open up." Anise looked in her daughter's throat. "You're dehydrated. Here, drink this." She handed Katniss a glass of water which she could barely swallow now that she was crying.

Anise finally set it down and attached an IV to Katniss to get fluids in her.

"Mom…can you get me to see him?"

"No, dear, I'm sorry. They have a very strict visiting policy here. They only let…"

"Family…" Katniss muttered with her mother, finally understanding why marriage mattered so much.

It was never about Gale and Katniss showing their love to one another. Of course they didn't need to do that. It was about them showing their love to the world.

"Gale was right…" Katniss sobbed, remembering his words.

"He often is," Anise said as she started to attach another IV to her daughter.

When Anise had finished checking Katniss's other vitals, she asked, "did you have any stomach cramps today?"

Katniss was only half paying attention and nodded, as Anise felt her stomach and listened to the child's heartbeat.

"Well, the little one sounds alright. Do you want to hear?"

Katniss didn't answer, but Anise put the stethoscope to her ears. Hearing her child's heartbeat caused Katniss to perk up a bit.

"Have you eaten today?"

Katniss couldn't remember.

"Alright," Anise said, "let's get you some food."

"I don't want food. I want to see Gale!"

"Katniss, that isn't going to happen tonight," Anise said straightly. "So come on now, and let's get you something to eat."

Anise took Katniss to the cafeteria and made sure she ate. Katniss had no appetite, but her body welcomed the nourishment.

After eating, Anise led Katniss to her room. "Mom, I don't think I can be alone in there."

"Alright, dear," her mother said, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

Anise led Katniss back to her room, and once there, she made her tea that she slipped heavy sedatives in and gave to Katniss, who quickly fell asleep.

When Prim got home, Anise explained to her youngest what happened, and Prim crawled into bed and cuddled her sleeping sister.

* * *

When Katniss woke up, the first thing she wanted to do was go visit Gale, but Prim suggested they go to breakfast together.

As much as Katniss wanted to protest, she was very hungry, and it was good spending time with her mother and sister. Talking with them helped take her mind off of Gale and all her worry.

After breakfast, Prim had to head to class and Katniss's mom had to go to work.

"Would you like to walk down to the clinic with me?" Anise asked.

"That's alright, mom, I've got something else I have to do."

"Alright, dear," Anise said, eyeing her daughter curiously but not pressing any further.

Katniss waved goodbye to her mom and then headed to one of Thirteen's directories. They were plastered on the walls every often to help guide people through the labyrinthine corridors. She'd seen them everywhere when she wasn't looking, but now that she needed on, none appeared in sight. She had to turn several corners before she found one.

Katniss pressed her fingers to the board and searched for what she wanted. Her eyes ran over the names of several departments and offices – several of which she couldn't even imagine what they did – until she found the one she wanted, and headed in its direction.

It took her almost half an hour to navigate through the twisting hallways until she found it: The Office of Family Services.

Even though it was still early in the morning, the line folded around itself a few times, and Katniss had been standing in line for almost an hour when she realized she desperately had to go to the bathroom.

"Will you hold my place, please?" she asked as nicely as she could of the old woman behind her. "I have to run to the bathroom," she said, cradling her stomach and trying to make it as big as possible.

The old woman grunted and Katniss thanked her sincerely as she scampered off to the bathroom. When she got back, however, the old woman refused to acknowledge her.

Katniss couldn't believe her, but she didn't want to make a scene. She cursed under her breath and moved to the back of the line.

It was another two hours before Katniss was ready to be seen. Her feet and back were hurting from standing so long, and she was beginning to think she had to pee again, when she was finally called.

"How can I help you today?" A weary, middle aged man asked her from behind the booth.

"I'd like to apply for a marriage license, please."

"Are you over the age of fifteen or do you have parental consent?"

"Um, yes. To the over fifteen part. I'm seventeen."

"Are you directly related to the co-applicant?"

"No."

"To the best of your knowledge, are you and the co-applicant fertile?"

Katniss was a bit surprised they were asking this question, but she smiled and looked down at her stomach. "I'm pretty sure we are."

"Are you certain or just pretty sure?" the man asked without any trace of humor.

"Uhh. Yeah, I'm certain," Katniss responded awkwardly.

"Okay. Fill this out. Both you and the co-applicant need to sign it, and then you can submit it for approval at the hours listed on the bottom of the sheet."

Katniss was trying to think if she had any questions when the man hollered, "Next!" and she was pushed aside.

Katniss folded the paper into her pocket and walked to the medical unit where Gale was staying. When she arrived, a she found spectacularly unpleasant informed her that she still wasn't approved to visit Gale.

"It says your application is pending," the lady informed her with a dull voice.

"What does that mean?" Katniss said, trying not to sound hysterical.

"It means you're not allowed in."

"But I will be…so can't you just…"

"No," the woman practically barked, pointing a stubby finger to the chairs.

"I've killed people before, just so you know…" she said lowly under her breath as she took a seat.

Katniss waited half an hour to ask if she'd been approved and was treated with equal disdain.

As the afternoon wore on, as soon as the woman at the counter saw Katniss shift positions, she just shook her head and scowled.

And then, finally, the lady crooked one of her fingers and beckoned her to come.

Katniss was so surprised she almost thought she'd imagined it. But there the woman was, eyes clearly on Katniss, telling her to come forward.

Katniss was so excited, she almost ran.

"Are you Ms. Everdeen?"

"Yes." Katniss said politely.  _You know I'm Miss Everdeen. I've asked you to look for my name like fifteen times._

"Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yes." Katniss was less polite this time.

"Alright. You've been approved to visit Mr. Gale Hawthorne. I need you to sign this."

Katniss scribbled her name frantically.

"Here's your pass. He's in Room 18 A."

Katniss snatched the pass from the woman and barreled down the hall, her eyes scanning the passing rooms for their numbers.

3 B…7 A…9 C…11 D…14 A…16 C…

"Gale!" she screamed as she threw open the door, not stopping to think if he was sleeping, and also not really caring. "Gale! Oh my god!"

Gale was propped up in bed, his leg elevated and bandaged, one arm in a sling. He was reading a book.

"Hey Catnip," he said, opening his arm to her as she practically collided with him. "I'm okay…I'm okay…" he tried to comfort her as buried her face in him.

"Gale…" she was almost sobbing now.

"Hey, I've got you…it's okay…."

"No it's not! You got shot!"

Gale chucked slightly, though it hurt him to do so. "Only a little bit."

"Only a little bit?!" she pulled her face up and looked at him like he was crazy. "You were shot twice! And they wouldn't let me see you!" She started crying again.

"Hey, come here," he pulled her on to the bed next to him, cradling her in his good arm and kissing her on the top of her head.

"They wouldn't let me…"

"I know," she shook her softly, "I had my mom fill out a visitor request as soon as I found out…"

Katniss kept clinging to him tightly, sobbing, and trying to tell herself that she was the one who needed to be strong for him. That he was the one who was hurt…

"It's okay," he said again and again, stroking her hair.

"Gale," she finally said after several minutes, pulling herself up and looking him seriously in the eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I want to ask you something. But I need you to promise me something first."

"Okay…" Gale said, curious and clueless about what Katniss was getting to.

Katniss threw her legs over Gale's waist, and he grunted slightly as he pulled her up just a little higher so she wasn't putting any weight on his injured leg.

"Sorry," she said, wiping the tears from her eye.

He shook his head, telling her it was no problem, as he rubbed her legs and looked at her expectantly.

"Promise me you'll never get shot again."

Gale laughed. He laced his fingers with his and brought them to his lips. "Promise me you won't go running towards burning building surrounded by peacekeepers?"

Katniss smiled slightly, knowing he had a point. "I can do that," she said.

Gale cupped her face with his hand. "If you can do that, then I think I can manage not to get shot again."

"Good," Katniss said, playing with his shirt and taking deep breath as she prepared her question. "Then, will you marry me?"

Gale was almost positive he'd heard her incorrectly. Perhaps his pain medicine was stronger than he thought. "What?"

"Will you marry me?" She asked again.

"That's what I thought you said," he couldn't stop himself from smiling. "You know I want to marry you, Katniss, but why…"

"Because I want to be your wife. When they asked me who I was…when they told me I wasn't family…I knew that I wasn't just your girlfriend…I wasn't just your best friend…I'm your…" She sighed heavily, "I mean, right now, what I am is your baby's mother…"

Gale frowned as she said he. He also knew that wasn't nearly enough to quantify their relationship.

"And that's not enough to describe us…what we have…" Katniss said, looking up at him, and he smiled. "To describe what we have…what I am…it's wife, right? That's the right word?"

"Yeah," Gale agreed, his smile growing greater.

"Then that's what I want to be. You were right about marriage…what you said about the world…I thought you just wanted me to prove something to you…" Katniss started to get choked up, and Gale pulled her on to his chest.

"Hey, you don't. You don't ever have to prove anything to me."

"So you'll marry me then?"

"Yeah," Gale said, still smiling, "you know I will."

"Good," Katniss said, pulling out the paper from her pocket. "I went the application today."

Gale was a bit surprised she'd done that already. She was really serious. He pulled her in for a kiss.

"I had to stand in line for like three hours..." she huffed, telling him about the woman who wouldn't let her get back in line after she used the restroom as she handed him the form.

Gale read:

Application for a License of Marriage

This form must be completed and signed by both co-applicants.

All the requested information must be given entirely and truthfully.

Both co-applicants must be 1) fifteen years of age or older, 2) not directly related to each other, 3) fertile.

Gale chuckled as he read that part.

"Alright," Gale said as he grabbed a pen, "you sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Then let's do this," he said, clicking the pen and handing it to Katniss. "Ladies first."

First Applicant's Surname: Everdeen

First Name: Katniss

Middle Name: Melody

Sex: Female

Age: 17

Date of Birth: April 29, 758

Place of Birth: District 12

Personal Identification Number: 7859-G-31016-RT-2212

Applicant's Mother's Name (and Maiden Name): Anise (Clearwater) Everdeen

Applicant's Father's Name: Milo Everdeen

Occupation: Mockingjay

Address: Room 417, Row M, Level 5

Applicant's First Marriage: Yes

Second Applicant's Surname: Hawthorne

First Name: Gale

Middle Name: Linden

Sex: Male

Age: 19

Date of Birth: June 3, 756

Place of Birth: District 12

Personal Identification Number: 7846-D-10218-OF-1412

Applicant's Mother's Name (and Maiden Name): Hazelle Beecher-Hawthorne

Applicant's Father's Name: Clyde Hawthorne

Occupation: Military/ Soldier

Address: Room 417, Row M, Level 5

Applicant's First Marriage: Yes

"There you go, co-applicant," Gale said as he finished signing his part and handing Katniss back the form.

She tucked it into her pocket and cuddled close to Gale. He held her tightly with his good arm.

"You okay?"

"I am now," she said, snuggling closer.

"No, but I mean, after everything that happened yesterday, all the running…"

"Yeah," Katniss said.

Gale looked at her pointedly.

"My mom looked over everything," she assured him. "I was a bit dehydrated, but I'm fine. We're fine." She pulled his hand under her shirt so he could feel her stomach.

Gale spread his fingers warm and wide across her skin.

"See, she's fine."

"What do you mean?"

"You can feel that?" Katniss said, feeling her child.

"Is the baby moving?" He asked excitedly. Gale still hadn't felt the baby kick.

"Yeah," Katniss said with a smile. She turned to face Gale and guided his hand on her stomach. "Feel that?" She pressed his hand to her, guiding it with the baby.

"There. Feel that."

Gale was so excited he held his breath, concentrating hard. He felt the warmth of Katniss's skin. It's softness. The steady rise and fall of her breath. And then…

"Is that it? Is that the baby?" A wide grin broke out across Gale's face as he felt a faint flutter. Something slid across Katniss's skin. Or under it.

"Yeah," she said. She couldn't help but smile back, seeing how excited he was.

"God, that's incredible," Gale said, still beaming.

He stayed like that for several minutes, hoping to feel more, but their child settled down, and they were finally interrupted by a nurse bring Gale his lunch.

"Mr. Hawthorne?" an older woman said.

Katniss suddenly pulled away, feeling awkward. But the woman didn't seem to mind. She just smiled at them and delivered Gale his tray.

Katniss got of Gale's bed so he could better eat, and she found herself setting up his tray for him and opening all his food.

"Katniss, you don't have to…" he protested.

"I want to," she said, feeling the need to be useful.

"Okay, but I can feed myself." Gale's mother had also tried to feed him breakfast that morning, and he had to draw the line somewhere.

"Okay," Katniss agreed as she set out his silverware and food.

"Don't you need to get food yourself?"

"No," she automatically, not wanting to leave Gale's room, afraid she might not be let back in.

"Katniss," Gale began to protest.

But he didn't have to. Now that Katniss was thinking about food, she could already feel her stomach rumbling.

"You can come back after," he told her.

"Okay," she conceded. "I guess I am hungry." And she leaned in to kiss him. "I'll be back right after."

"And I'll be here," he said with a smile.

Katniss returned after eating and spent the rest of the afternoon curled next to Gale. He finally asked her why she went running towards a burning building surrounded by Peacekeepers, and she told him about the children. How she was worried her pregnancy was making her soft. How she saw in the kids a bit of her and Gale and how she wanted to encourage that, and how guilty she felt…she still felt…since it happened.

Gale tried his best to comfort her, make her believe it wasn't her fault, and that there was a chance the kids had survived. The bomb had actually blown up next to the Justice Building, and if the kids were behind it, or inside it, or on top of it…

But nothing Gale said was able to take away that faraway look Katniss had in her eyes, so he just held her tightly instead until they brought him dinner.

Katniss helped set up his tray again and then begrudgingly left to feed herself and hurried back quickly before visiting hours closed.

A nurse finally came to the room and told Katniss she had to leave.

"You can come back in the morning," the woman told her with a warm smile.

Katniss tried to figure out a way to explain to her that she wasn't worried about being able to come the next morning, she was worried about getting through the night. And she wasn't sure she could do that without Gale.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sensing her tension.

But Katniss didn't want to worry him, so she nodded yes and pushed back her fears.

"I love you," she said, taking his face as she leaned in to kiss him.

"I love you too," he assured her.

* * *

Sleeping alone had been Katniss's biggest fear since returning from the Games. When she was at her home, her mother and sister found her screaming in the night from nightmares. Her mother had to give her tonics and pills. On the Victory Tour, she only found solace in Peeta's arms, and since, her solace was in Gale's.

She wasn't sure how she was going to make it through the night without him.

Her dreams were painful and cruel. She dreamt she was back in Eight. But instead of being surrounded by the rebels and soldiers, she was surrounded by children, all with faces she thought she knew. And she watched them all die.

Some fell to their knees, shot by some invisible gunman, the bullet holes always between their eyes. Others ran through the streets burning, screaming. Nothing she did was able to save them. One collapsed right in front of her, an arrow sticking out of his back. As she held the child, trying to save him, she couldn't help but realize the arrow was one she made.

She awoke in a heavy sweat. She thought she might have been screaming. She pulled herself out of bed and got a glass of water, and then counted the hours til morning.

She fell asleep again, but go not rest. The nightmares continued.

Katniss had been awake long before dawn and got her breakfast as soon as the cafeteria opened. Her body ached as she walked, stiff and sore from the lack of sleep compounded by her pregnancy. She was still hungry after finishing her small bowl of cereal, and Katniss sat staring at her empty bowl until more people started to fill the dining area, informing her that it must now be a reasonable hour.

She went to the medical wing, desperate to see Gale, and almost burst into tears when she was told it was too early to see Gale. She sat waiting for fifteen minutes, but she was afraid she'd fall asleep in the chair and have another bad dream. So she forced her body up and went for a walk.

She walked without direction, but when she realized she was near the Office of Family Services. She decided to turn in their marriage application, hoping that will fill her with the excitement and happiness she'd felt yesterday, but nothing but a weary, dull ache accompanied her as she stood in line and submitted the form.

"Notification of your approval will come in two to four weeks," the person behind the counter told Katniss.

She mumbled her comprehension and then headed to the medical wing. When she arrived, she was informed that a physical therapist was working with Gale and that she could go in and see him in half an hour, so she walked the halls until she was allowed in.

"Hey Catnip," Gale said brightly as she came in. "I missed…" But Gale stopped. He immediately saw something was wrong.

Katniss looked awful. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was sallow. Her hair was a mess because she'd forgotten to redo it that morning, and on top of everything else, her feet and back now badly ached from all the walking.

"Katniss, what the hell…"

Katniss didn't say anything and just crawled in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Gale held her tightly. He at first tried to figure out what was wrong, but it was soon clear that he wasn't going to get any information from her, so he just rocked her gently until she finally calmed down.

Uncounted minutes passed, and when her breathing finally returned to normal, Gale tucked her finger under her chin and pushed her eyes to meet his. "Katniss…?"

She just shook her head and buried her face into him.

"Alright, hey, it's okay, just tell me if someone's died, okay?" Gale asked, half afraid that's what'd happened. His best guess was that Haymitch had been killed, but he was afraid something might have happened to her mother or Prim.

"Lots of people have died, Gale!" Katniss started crying again, thinking about the soldiers she saw fall the other day, all the children in her dreams, her arrows in their backs, "and it's all my fault!"

"What are you…?" Gale began, but he quickly figured it out. "Hey, Katniss, look at me, look at me. It's not your fault, do you hear me? It's not your fault."

Katniss tried to nod, but the tears kept streaming down her face.

"You didn't kill anybody. You're saving people, okay? Think about all the lives that this rebellion will save. All the men who will no longer die working in the mines. All the children who will no longer die in the Games…"

As soon as Gale said "Games" Katniss realized why the children's faces in the dreams had seemed so familiar. They were the faces of the children she'd gone to the Games with. And the one she'd held in her arms was Cato.

She started sobbing again, almost violently, and Gale was about to call for help, afraid she might have another panic attack like she did when she found out about Peeta.

"It's all my fault…I killed them…" she said again and again.

"No, Katniss, it's not. You didn't. I need you to calm down and talk to me…okay? I'm getting really worried about you…"

Gale's concern trigged a response in her, and Katniss choked a bit as she tried to calm herself and ended up coughing.

"Here," he said, handing her his cup of water. He rubbed her back as she took a sip. "Now what the hell happened?"

"I just can't sleep without you, okay Gale, I just can't." She felt stupid as she said it and starting crying again.

Gale looked at her seriously for a moment as he put the pieced together. "Did you have bad dreams?"

She nodded, folding herself into him, tightly clutching the fabric of his shirt.

"Alright, it's okay now. Those were just dreams, okay? They're not real," he said, kissing the top of her head and holding her as tightly as he could with his good arm. "They're not real and they won't hurt you, okay? Not as long as I'm here. It's okay now, it's okay," he said again and again until she eventually fell asleep.

Katniss slept next to Gale for the rest of the morning. She slept through one of his nurses came to check on him, raising a curious eyebrow as she looked at his vitals. She also slept through his mother's visit. Hazelle frowned as she saw Katniss curled next to her son.

"Should she be in bed with you like that?" Hazelle asked, worried about her son.

"It's fine, mom," Gale told her in a hushed voice.

"I just don't want you to hurt—"

"Mom, I said it's fine. Now please, keep your voice down."

"Alright, dear," Hazelle complied.

Katniss also slept through the arrival of his lunch, which sat unopened on his table since Gale couldn't eat with one hand tightly around her and the other in a sling.

It was late afternoon when Katniss finally began to stir. She jolted upright, not certain where she was at first.

"Hey, it's alright," Gale said easily.

"Oh, hi," she rubbed her eyes. "Where am…what time is it?"

"It's afternoon," Gale said with a slight smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm…wait…it's day time?" Katniss's memories were slowly coming back to her.

"Yeah," Gale said. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah," she said, stretching a bit. Her body was terribly achy, but she did feel better now that she'd slept, though she was hungry and thirsty.

"Yeah?"

She smiled at him and nodded. "I'm sorry I—" Katniss wasn't quite sure what she needed to apologize for, but she felt she should.

But Gale shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Catnip."

She nodded, and then saw his food on the table. "Oh, but your lunch," she said, suddenly jumping up to prepare it for him. Her body was stiff and she held her back as she moved, sighing in pain.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm just stiff. My back is hurting more and more now, well," she looked down at her stomach.

"Do you want me to rub it for you?" he asked. Gale wasn't sure how much good one hand would do, but he figured he could at least try.

Katniss smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "That's okay." She'd take him up on that offer some other time, but now, she wanted to do something for him.

Her stomach rumbled as she set up his meal.

"You should go get food yourself," he told her.

"I will, I just want to do this for you first."

Gale wanted to tell her she didn't have to, but he knew there was no point.

When Katniss finished, she went and got her own food, and then promptly came back.

Her portions for lunch were smaller than normal again, and she'd been informed that Thirteen was restricting rations in preparation for refugees and the rebellion.

When she got back to Gale, her stomach grumbled again.

"Did you eat?" he asked. Gale hasn't finished his food yet, and he was almost suspicious she'd just pretended to go since she came back so soon.

"Yes," she assured him. "They've just reduced their rations because of the rebellion."

"What? But you're pregnant!"

"I'm still getting more than most."

"Here, eat this," he said, handing her his jello and wishing he had more to give her.

"No, Gale, that's your food."

"Eat it, Katniss." His tone implied this wasn't up for discussion.

But Katniss didn't move.

"Katniss, you need to eat."

"So do you."

"I'm not doing anything right now but lying in bed right now. But one thing I can do is keep you from being hungry."

Katniss stared at him for a second longer, but her steely resolved dissolved to her stomach's grumbles.

Gale saved half of his dinner for Katniss too and again insisted she eat it when she returned from hers.

At the end of the day, Gale could sense her mood sink as the time for her to leave drew near. He wasn't going to let her spend another night like the last, so he figured out a way for her to stay. Gale suggested that she stand behind the door so the nurses couldn't see her when they came to turn off the lights.

When the nurse left, Katniss crawled back into bed next to Gale and slept wonderfully that night.


	35. Chapter 35

While Gale and Katniss cuddled, the world outside raged in rebellion. The night after Eight's attack, Four began their rebellion as well, and Lagan Corsair impressed everybody – even the Capitol and Coin – with just how prepared he really was. The District was united and fought in full force under his command. They were able to take out nearly every Peacekeeper stationed before dawn, and when the reinforcements came much later, they were easily over thrown.

Seven's situation was very different. Rather than united and organized, they were disjointed, haphazard, and wild. Hew Maddock and Slater Adze operated both of their units differently, but this surprisingly worked in their advantage. The Peacekeeper couldn't predict them, and the Generals assigned to fight in that district didn't know what to do. They certainly couldn't use the same tactics that were being used in Four or Eight. The fighting style here was too varied, too different.

After the first three days of battle, the Capitol realized that this uprising wasn't about to be easily put out. The Peacekeepers were making little progress in Eight and Seven and were honestly being stamped out in Four.

Snow realized he was going to have to do something drastic, something dramatic, to try to rein his nation in. And, as Cinna predicted, it was decided that the Quarter Quell would be announced early, to remind Panem's citizens the true cost of rebellion.

Not that the Capitol had openly acknowledged the attacks. Not a single reporter had mentioned it. But Beetee was waging his own war on the airwaves, and Thirteen's propaganda was reaching everyone who could listen.

Cressida and her team were able to make five separate propos from the material filmed in Eight – Katniss's rousing speech; a montage of her looking compassionately and encouragingly as she interacted with the people; her working with Haymitch, Johanna, and Organdy; scenes of her running and fighting in the streets, and finally, her screaming, "if we die, we'll die fighting!"

That one seemed to be everyone's favorite, though Katniss showed no interest in seeing them. She was just happy to learn that the material was useful and glad it meant they didn't need her to film anything else so she could spend more time with Gale.

Gale was making a steady recovery. He spent his mornings in PT and the rest of his time with Katniss and his family. After the first few mornings the nurses found her asleep in Gale's arms, they realized there was no point in trying to send her away in the evenings. On the third night, one finally said, "I don't know where you are, but I know you're in here. You two aren't exactly hiding anything, so you might as well stay out in the open."

So from then on, Katniss did. A few of the nurses would even bring her food with Gale's so she didn't have to leave, though not all of them saw it fit to go above and beyond their job duty like that.

During their time together, Gale tried to get Katniss to open up and talk more about her insecurities, fears, and nightmares. She, however, was not eager to explore these feelings, and when he couldn't get her to talk, Gale did instead. He told Katniss about the men he worked with in the mines, how hard and dangerous their jobs were, how many of them wanted something to change, were willing to fight for it. He told Katniss what he overheard about their families' suffering, what they knew of other districts. How people always thought things were better, but how they mostly sounded worse.

Gale kept telling Katniss these stories until she could no longer think the rebellion was her fault, or even her responsibility.

"You see, none of these people are fighting because of you, Katniss. You're not the one who told them they should fight…they already knew that. They already wanted to. You're just the one who's showed them they can win. Don't you know how amazing that is?"

Katniss started at Gale, looking deep into his gray eyes, and for the first time, she thought she just might.

Katniss was listening to one of these stories, sitting on the foot of Gale's bed and facing him when Beetee knocked on the door.

"Ahh, Miss Everdeen, you're a hard person to track down," he said, as he stepped in the door. "Mr. Hawthorne, I was very sorry to hear about what happened to you."

"No permanent damage," Gale said with a smile, welcoming Beetee in.

"Well, I'm sure I'm not the only one's who's happy to hear that," Beetee smiled slightly, looking at Katniss. "And speaking of which, Miss Everdeen, I was wondering if I could borrow you for a few moments?"

Katniss and Gale exchanged a curious look. "Yeah, sure," she said, leaning in to kiss Gale goodbye.

"Wonderful. Mr. Hawthorne, good seeing you. Perhaps when you're able, you'd like to visit my lab? I've still got some things I'd like to show you."

Gale felt a little bad he'd forgotten he'd promised Beetee he'd stop by and assured him he would when he was able.

"Excellent," Beetee said, waving goodbye to Gale and leading Katniss from the room.

"What do you need me for?" she asked, entirely curious why Beetee would want to speak with you.

"Oh, this isn't about me, my dear," he said as he took out his ID and opened the door to his lab. "I'm merely the messenger. If you could have a seat, please." He gestured to a chair.

Katniss looked at him curiously and took a seat. She trusted Beetee, but she had no idea what he was up to.

"It took us a few days to get the time worked out. And securing a safe connection, well let me tell you, that was no easy matter…" Beetee said as he began typing into a computer and setting up his machines. "But I, of course, was equal to the task." He looked up to her and smiled.

"Beetee, what are you talking about?"

"The communication systems, of course. Since the rebellion's started, the Capitol has been monitoring them aggressively."

Katniss smiled at him. "You're the best, Beetee," she said, suspecting that validation mattered. But she wasn't talking about his capabilities. "But, why do we need a secure connection? Who are we talking to?"

"We aren't talking to anyone. You are," he said, as if that clarified matters.

But Katniss still didn't understand. Then, Cinna appeared on the screen before her.

"Cinna!" she said, excited.

"How's my favorite girl doing?" he asked.

"Me? How are you? How's everything at the Capitol? How's your…family?"

Cinna smiled. "I'm good. And so is my family. We'll actually be heading to Thirteen soon. But I had one thing I needed to do before I got out of here."

Cinna smiled and turned his camera. Katniss could see Peeta sitting outside his glass door.

She gasped and felt her stomach clench. She hadn't exactly forgotten about her insistence that Peeta be saved, but it hadn't been one of her priorities recently. She had no idea what she'd say to him.

"Did you finally get to talk to him?" she asked Cinna desperately, remembering he'd been trying to. "Do you know why he didn't talk to you for so long? Do you know what's going on?"

Cinna gave Katniss a look she couldn't quite read.

"Cinna, what's wrong?"

He let out a deep breath. "I think I'll let you and Peeta figure it out."

Katniss gulped audibly.  _What did Cinna have against Peeta?_

"Okay," she said weakly.

"Alright, girl on fire, I'm going to bring him in now."

"The offer still stands…to bring him and his family to Thirteen?" she asked quickly.

"Yeah," Cinna said, "but if he's leaving, he needs to leave soon. I'm getting out after the Quell announcement this weekend."

"Okay," Katniss said more determinedly. They had a few days to figure out how to get Peeta out.

Cinna smiled at her, raising his hand in a slight gesture of goodbye, and got up to knock on the glass, beckoning Peeta in.

"Peeta!" she said, reaching out at first as if she could touch him and then stopping herself when she realized she couldn't. He sat at the screen before her. He looked well.

"Hey, Katniss. Are you okay?"

"I'm…I'm fine…I've been trying to reach you for ages! You look…" what she was thinking was  _surprisingly well,_ but she decided not to say it."Why didn't you come to Cinna when he asked you…"

"Cinna's involved with the rebellion, Katniss. It's only a matter of time before people figure that out. I had to keep my distance. I couldn't take any chances, let anything make me look bad. Especially not with…"

"Not with what, Peeta?"

"Are you kidding, Katniss!? You were on TV with the rebels yesterday…How could…Why?" Peeta stammered as his emotions overcame him.

"Why am I with the rebels?" She was almost offended. "Why are you with the Capitol?"

Neither could believe the other.

"Katniss," Peeta couldn't believe he had to explain it to her. "Do you have any idea what would have happened to you…to your family, to me, to my family even, if I hadn't come here? The Capitol was going to paint you as a rebel, a traitor, when you disappeared. They would have destroyed everything…If I hadn't come here, if I hadn't worked so hard to make sure the pubic remembered you and loved you…"

He explained how he'd been working to keep up their image, to keep each other safe. And the only way to do that was to maintain their love story and make it appear like the rebels had kidnapped her so the Capitol didn't crucify her. Katniss's eyes were wide and open as she took Peeta's story in, everything he'd done for her, the debt she now felt she owed him. The connections he'd made, the story he'd crafted, the deals he'd secured. He could still get her safely to the Capitol, he assured her.

Katniss was only vaguely aware of how proud Peeta was of himself for doing this. She was figuring out how she could repay him while he was trying to show he'd just repaid her. He was proud to be saving her this time, like he was proving his worth, finally doing for her what she'd done for him. Peeta'd be lying if a small part of him didn't hope this would make her see him in a new light, perhaps the same light in which she saw Gale—as a man who did whatever he had to to take care of her and her family. Peeta believed that was the way to Katniss's heart. Though that, of course, was not why he was doing this. He was doing it because that was what he and Katniss did—they protected one another. And even she never loved him the way he wanted her to, he had to keep her safe.

"The media believes me, I'm pretty sure," Peeta continued, "I've been on Caesar's show several times and several other daytime talk shows. But I know not everyone in the government does. They don't believe the rebels took you. That's why I couldn't risk associating with Cinna. People suspect him…I couldn't risk anything might invalidate my story. I'm only here right now because people think we're talking about costumes for the Quell announcement…"

Katniss watched Peeta explain almost frantically. While his clothes looked very nice and his skin and hair were clearly being well tended, he was tense, on edge. Katniss knew he had access to many nice things at the Capitol, but he wasn't comfortable. She knew she had to get him out of there.

"It's okay, Peeta," she tried to comfort him, "you don't have to worry about any of that. I can bring you here, with me." She smiled softly as she told him.

"What?!" Peeta was incredulous.

"Yeah, you can come here. You and you're family, you'll be safe. You won't have to be afraid any—"

"You mean of anything other than an attack?"

"What?" Katniss didn't understand.

"Katniss, it isn't safe with the rebels. I can't believe you'd even suggest…The Capitol will just destroy them."

"No," Katniss looked horrified, "they won't. We've got help. It's not just Twelve fighting now. Four, Seven, Eight…"

Katniss noticed the look of shock on Peeta's face and realized the Capitol wasn't broadcasting this information.

The horror slowly drained from Peeta's face as he processed this information, but it was only replaced with a frown.

"There's no way the rebellion will win," he said definitively.

"Yes, Peeta, they will!" Katniss couldn't believe he was saying this.

"The Capitol's too strong. They'll all get destroyed."

"No, Peeta! We're going to win! You'll see…"

"We? Since when have you cared about the rebellion, Katniss, for Christ sake!" Peeta began to sound frustrated. He knew she wouldn't be excited about coming to the Capitol, but he didn't think it'd be this hard to persuade her.

Katniss stared blankly for a moment. He was right. She used to not care about the rebellion. She used to be too afraid. But Gale had shown her it was possible to fight for something more…and he'd also given her a reason. Her hand unconsciously moved to cover her stomach, and she wondered if…or better how…she should tell Peeta about that.

"I'm with the rebellion, Peeta," she said less confidently than she meant to.

"I know, but I can get you out."

"Peeta, I don't mean I'm just  _with_ the rebellion. I'm telling you I'm a part of it. I'm helping them. I'm working with them. And I'm not leaving."

Her words rang like the sounds of a gavel, and for the first time, Peeta realized he wasn't convincing her to come to the Capitol. He looked shocked and slightly scared.

"That's what I'm telling you, Peeta," she said, registering his look, "you've got to come here. You know we'll never be safe at the Capitol. We'll never be free or happy…"

Peeta tried not to look hurt as he heard that last word. He'd be happy as long as they could be together.

"At least we'll be alive," he stressed, "a rebellion's only going to cause people to die, Katniss. You know that, and you don't want it…"

Katniss's eyes darted away for a second. Peeta was right. Katniss did know it and it was one of her chief hesitations regarding entering the rebellion. She just didn't want more people to die. But then she realized that people were already dying. They were starving. Working to death in the mines. Getting thrown in the Games.

"Peeta are already dying, Peeta. And at least with a rebellion, they'd be dying doing something they believed in."

"You sound like Gale," Peeta said, more harshly than he meant to.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Katniss practically accused him.

Peeta looked at her like it was, but didn't say anything. "He's with you, isn't he?"

"Of course."

"That's good," Peeta said, softly, friendly. As Katniss looked in his eyes, eyes she saw struggling to turn his own pain into happiness for her, that she needed to tell him about Gale. About her baby.

"We're family," she finally managed. She'd meant to say,  _we're having a family,_ but those words came out instead.

"I know," Peeta said, same soft smile in place. "Gale's a good man, but you and I both know how he feels about a rebellion…"

"Yeah," she said roughly.

"…it's different than how you and I feel." Peeta said.

"I don't feel the same as you," she said like he'd offended her. He noticed.

"I just meant," he tried to recover, "I know you don't want more people to die, this death is so unnecessary…"

"But people dying in the Games is fine?"

"I'm not saying it's fine, but you have to admit, it's better than people dying by the thousand…And that's what's going to happen—"

Katniss couldn't bear to listen to him anymore and cut him off. "God, Peeta, I don't even know who you are anymore…" She said not realizing that she never really had. "I'm with the rebellion, Peeta, and the rebellion's here, whether you like it or not. All the Districts are fighting…the Capitol doesn't stand a chance. You and your family can come here…"

A laugh escaped Peeta's lips that boarded on manic. "My family isn't leaving, Katniss. I brought them all here. They've settled. Started new lives. My father's just opened a bakery and my brother's wife has started designing scarves…"

_Scarves?_ Katniss couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Peeta, you're in the Capitol…you're in danger. You don't know what they'll do to you, you have to come here!"

"No, Katniss, we're safer  _here_."

And there they were – each trying to do everything they could to save the other and all the while without having the slightly idea what the other actually wanted.

"Whatever, Peeta," she said wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm here. And I'm staying. If you want to come, talk to Cinna about it. He's coming to Thirteen after the announcement, so you've got a few days to decide."

She switched the monitor off before she completely broke into tears and sat, hunched over the desk as she sobbed trying to figure things out. Her mind spiraled. At one point, Beetee came over, set a box of tissues next to her and patted her on the back. If he'd said anything, she didn't notice. And when she finally looked up, she was alone.

Her stomach was rumbling, so she grabbed a few more tissues to dry her face as she headed to the cafeteria. She quickly ate her meal – meatballs, potatoes, carrots, and bread – before returning to Gale.

Her mind was still reeling after her conversation with Peeta. She wondered what she could do now to convince him to come and felt guilty that her she'd left him so rudely.  _What if he decided to stay because of the way she'd treated him?_  she thought.  _What if that means I never see him again?_   _What if he stays there and….dies?_ She couldn't shake the guilt that was gripping her body.

When Katniss got to Gale's room, she heard her voices pour into the hall.

"No, that's not right!" Posy whined.

"Oh, sorry." Gale affected his voice. "The little mouse didn't know what to do. 'Someone had taken all the cheese!'" he said, this time an octave higher.

Posy squealed delightedly as Katniss slowly approached, stopping just outside the door. She peeked slightly. Posy was sitting in Gale's lap, helping him turn the pages as he kept reading to her.

"Can you read this page to me?" he asked, nudging his sister.

"Umm," Posy said, bringing the book closer to her face. "Oooaaahuhhh," she said, wrestling with the letters.

"Oh," Gale corrected her, "the H is silent."

"But why?"

"It just is. Kind of like the E at the end of my name."

Posy looked at him a bit unconvinced.

"Just try again."

"Okay. 'Oh no!'" she said in her mouse voice.

"Very good," Gale encouraged her.

They both looked so happy, and Katniss couldn't bring herself to disturb them. Not when happy moments were so precious few.

She went on a walk and tried to clear her head, wandering the long halls of Thirteen. Her mind moved from waves of panic, wondering what on earth she could do to fix it all, to plan after plan of what might work. She hated the time she had to think it over; she liked it better when she didn't have time to second guess herself. Like when she volunteered for Prim, took the berries with Peeta, and jumped to save Gale. In the moment, things were easy. It was all the after she couldn't handle.

She wished she could have just dragged Peeta through the screen to safety. Sure, he might have hated her for it, but at least she'd keep him safe.

Katniss kept walking until she couldn't anymore. Her feet and back were aching, but most of all, it was her mind that was hurting, having raked over every possible alternative to save Peeta. She walked slowly to Gale's room and found him dozing in bed. She approached quietly and found a pamphlet lying across his chest, it read:  _A First Time Father's Guide to Pregnancy: The Final Trimester._ Katniss couldn't help but smile as she read it. She still didn't know what she'd done to deserve him, but she couldn't be more thankful to have him in her life.

"Hey," he said, slowly waking up as she slid the book off of him.

"Hey you," she said, leaning in to kiss him, running her fingers through his hair. She didn't realize how desperately she needed to touch him until she did. Katniss's fingers clung to his face as she kissed him deeply.

"You okay?" Gale asked when their lips parted. He knew there was something behind that kiss.

Katniss huffed and looked away for a moment, not ever sure where to begin, as she crawled into bed with Gale.

He pulled himself upright and wrapped his arm around her.

"I just don't know what to do, Gale," she said. She heard a faint chuckle in his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Is this about Peeta?"

She turned to look at him, curious how he knew. Gale could read her expression.

"Come on, Catnip, it's not that hard to figure out." He smiled at her as he said it, though she could tell it was tainted with something she couldn't quite name.

"I got to talk to him today," she said, looking down, but then she made herself look straight up at Gale. "He won't leave the Capitol."

Gale's face didn't move as she said it. While she couldn't read his emotions, he easily saw hers. He could tell how deeply this was troubling her.

"He doesn't think the rebellion will win, says we'd be safer there…"

Gale tried not to tense at the word  _we,_ certain it didn't contain him.

"I told him I wasn't going," Katniss quickly assured him.

"I know," Gale said, softening and feeling silly for his reaction. He brought Katniss into his arms and rubbed her shoulders up and down.

"I just, I don't know how to save him."

Gale took her hands in his and looked at her softly. "I'm going to tell you something, Catnip, and you're not going to like it," he began, and her eyes narrowed on him, not certain what he'd say. "You don't have to save him."

Katniss looked at Gale like he'd just said something truly horrible.

"What do you mean?!" she said, anger filling her voice. "You want me to let him  _die?"_ She said it as if Gale were asking her to kill Peeta herself.

"No, That's not what I said–"

"God, what is with the two of you," she said, pushing herself away.

Gale looked at her crossly, slightly hurt. He didn't know exactly what she was referring to, though he bet it was a safe guess that Peeta hadn't appreciated hearing about him either.

"Katniss, will you come back here…" he tried to say evenly.

But Katniss was in no mood to hear it. Especially not after the row she'd had with Peeta earlier.

"No, Gale, I don't know how you can say…"

"What, that you should let Peeta make his own decisions?"

"What?"

"That you should let Peeta make his own decisions. He's got a right to just like the rest of us."

"Well, Peeta's decisions might get him killed."

"I hardly doubt he'll be in the line of fire…" Gale said, having a hard time imagining Peeta taking up arms.

"That doesn't mean he won't be a target!" Katniss snapped back.

"Okay," Gale said evenly, trying to calm her. "But even so, I don't think that's likely. And still, he's got a right to make his own choice. You can't force him…"

"Force him?" Katniss's voice almost cracked, "God, Gale, you make it sound like a bad thing that I want to save him."

"No," Gale quickly asserted, "I think it's great that you want to save him, I love that you want to save him, but I just want you to accept that—"

"I'm not accepting anything! Peeta went to the Capitol trying to save me, and I've got to get him out of there! I owe him that, at least, after everything I've done to him…"

"What have you done to him, Katniss? Christ, what do you think you owe him for?"

Katniss's eyes darted away and Gale knew what she was thinking.

"For not loving him? For being with me?"

Her look told him he was right, and Gale grew angry that Katniss thought she had to apologize for being with him, that she felt sorry she was.

Katniss could sense Gale's anger and she was too upset herself to deal with it. "I'm done talking to you about this," she said definitively, "I'll be back later."

"Katniss, wait, will you come back," Gale called after her, but she didn't respond.

Katniss began to wander again. She was angry that Gale wasn't supporting her, that he wouldn't help her save Peeta.  _Wasn't Gale supposed to support her? s_ he thought,  _wasn't he supposed to have her back?_ She thought he was better than resorting to jealousy, and stewed angrily.

Katniss kept walking until she remembered her feet hurt and she was hungry again. No longer able to be along with her own thoughts, she went to go find her mother or sister and see if they'd eat dinner with her.

Prim answered the door. "Katniss!" she said, excited to see her.

"Hey, little duck," Katniss said fondly, all her unhappy thoughts suddenly shoved aside. "I wanted to see if you and mom wanted to go to dinner?"

"Well, mom's working the evening shift."

"Oh," Katniss said a bit disappointedly.

"But I'll go with you," her sister chirped.

"You don't have plans?" Katniss asked.

"Nope. Let me grab my ID." Prim disappeared inside the room for a moment and then came back out.

The two sisters fell into easy conversation as they headed to the cafeteria, so much so that Katniss almost forgot her problems from earlier in the day. She hadn't realized how long it'd been since she'd chatted with her sister.

Prim told her about school, and how what she was really excited about learning was medicine, and what a good time she was having working with their mom in the clinics.

"That's so great," Katniss said for about the twentieth time, which had Prim noticed.

"So, Katniss," Prim said throwing her napkin on her empty plate, "I've been talking for almost an hour…"

"It's okay. I'm excited to hear everything you're doing." Katniss beamed proudly at her sister.

"You must be," Prim said, eyeing her sister suspiciously, "because you haven't said a thing."

"What?" Katniss looked confused.

"What's wrong, Katniss?"

"Nothing," she said unconvincingly.

"Mmmhmmm," Prim's eyes narrowed, "you're not fooling me. Spill."

Katniss almost gasped. She wasn't used to her little sister being so direct.

"Prim, I…" She tried to figure out what to say. She didn't want to lie to her sister, but she also didn't want to admit she had a problem. Katniss had worked her whole life to hide her weaknesses from her sister, hoping it made Prim feel safe, hoping it made up for all the other problems they faced and weaknesses their mother had.

"Fine, don't tell me," Prim said, her voice snapping slightly after several moments of silence.

Katniss registered her and looked shocked. "Prim," she reached out softly to her sister. But Prim's stare remained icy, challenging. Katniss let out a heavy sigh. "You really want me to tell you about my problems?"

"Of course I do," she said earnestly, reaching out to her sister.

Katniss's eyebrow arched curiously, her instincts telling her to tell Prim she was fine, that she didn't have to worry about a thing…

But she found herself telling Prim everything. She told Prim about Gale, about Peeta, about how she didn't know what to do with either one, and how she couldn't believe either one of them.

Prim stared for a long moment before opening her mouth. "Well, Katniss, what exactly is so hard to believe about this?"

Katniss opened her mouth, about to say isn't it obvious when she realized it wasn't.

"Yeah, I mean, of course Peeta wants to save you. The only thing Peeta's ever wanted is you."

Prim noticed Katniss's face fall as she said this, and she didn't mean to make her sister feel bad.

"No, Katniss, that's not a good thing! Peeta doesn't even know you. He just like…saw you one day and decided you should be his. That's not love. I mean, Peeta's a nice enough guy, but that's creepy."

"That's not…" Katniss began, but she didn't really know what to say.

"Katniss, after the Games, he used to sit on the porch and just stare at our house sometimes."

Katniss frowned. She couldn't blame Peeta for this. She certainly did a lot of weird stuff after the Games.

"Fine," Prim said, interpreting her sister's looks, "you can feel bad for Peeta all you want, and I know you two have been through a lot together but that doesn't mean you really know each other. Do you even like talking to him? Do you actually enjoy his company? Do you look forward to spending time with him?"

Katniss didn't know the answer to the first question, and while she couldn't say she enjoyed Peeta's company, he was often a comfort to her. And while he comforted her, she couldn't say she ever looked forward to spending time with him because when she did, that usually meant she was at the mercy of Snow.

"Katniss, I'm not saying Peeta's a bad person, but you don't owe him just because he decided he liked you one day. You don't owe anybody because they like you, but you deserve someone who likes you because of the incredible person you are. And I think you have that."

"Yeah…"

"Yeah," Prim said more confidently than her sister did. "Look, I know Gale's not perfect, but he loves you. He loves you because of the person you are, he doesn't objectify you like Peeta did."

"Objectify?" Katniss had never heard this word before.

"Yeah, it's when you think of a person like a thing rather than a real human being. Like when you deny them their rights and stuff."

"What are you talking about, Prim?"

"I'm learning about it in my Civics class. They're real big on philosophy here, so I've had to catch up, but I actually like reading about it a lot. It's part of feminism."

"Feminism?" Katniss hadn't heard that word before either. If that taught it to her in school, she wasn't paying attention.

"Yeah, it's really cool. It's a big thing in Thirteen now that Coin's president. I guess women used to not have a lot of rights here. There were all these strict laws in place because they wanted to increase the population. Women had to be married a certain age or pay fines. They had to have a certain number of kids…But when that plague hit and made a lot of people sterile, all those laws didn't make sense anymore. That's how Coin started her political career, getting those laws passed. She was a lawyer, I think…"

Katniss noticed how amazed her sister looked as she spoke of this. "That's cool."

"That's more than cool, Katniss," Prim said with a big smile. "It's amazing."

Katniss tried to make her smile mirror her sister's enthusiasm. She'd never given much thought to Coin before. She'd also never given much thought to rights since she'd been so preoccupied with surviving most her life. But she guessed that now that the rebellion had started, she'd have to spend some time thinking about that.

"I only bring it up because Coin was the one who had feminism incorporated into the educational curriculum here. And feminism is about women people valued as people not just sex objects."

Katniss almost laughed hearing her sister say this. "I don't think Peeta thinks I'm a sex object," she said.

"No?" Prim shrugged, "well, either way, Gale respects you as a person…"

"You don't think Peeta does?"

"I think Peeta acknowledges the reality that he might not deserve your love. But that doesn't mean he doesn't think of you first and foremost as a romantic partner."

"Ahh," Katniss said roughly, not sure what to make of her sister.

"And romantic partner just a nice way of saying sex object."

"Jeez, Prim, I didn't know you disliked Peeta so much."

"I don't," she defended. "Peeta's a perfectly nice guy. He just doesn't know the first thing about you or love in my opinion."

"Oh, okay then," Katniss said, as if Prim were the ultimate authority on this matter. She'd never seen this side of her sister before, and regretted how much she'd missed over the past year. Being gone in the woods for so long, and then being so reclusive after the Games…

"I'm not saying this to be mean to Peeta, Katniss, I don't hate him or anything. I just want you to realize that you don't really know him. And he doesn't know you. Not really."

Prim saw the heavy shadow on her sister's face and felt the need to lighten it.

"But what do I know," she said in a joking mood. "I'm only 13 and it's entirely possible I'm only saying all this just because I have a crush on Gale."

"Prim!" Katniss gasped.

"What? He's cute."

"I know but…"

"But what?"

"You're only 13."

"Almost 14," Prim maintained.

"You're too young…"

"To what? Notice what a great guy Gale is?"

Katniss stared at her sister speechless again.

"Come on, Katniss. Do you know how cute it was to watch him try and figure you out? How he'd try to impress you while simultaneously respect your space?"

Katniss didn't recall Gale doing any of this. Prim just rolled her eyes.

"Just trust me. He did. It's hard not to fall for a guy that sweet. I don't know how you resisted so long."

Katniss chuckled. She wasn't sure about this either sometimes.

"So you've got a crush on him?"

"I had a crush on him," Prim clarified.

"Ahh…"

"Yeah," Prim admitted. "But that's how I knew I liked Torry. When I realized he reminded me of Gale."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I needed help with the math for the medicine class. Even though they can calculate all the dosages on computers here, they still make sure everyone can do it on their own if they have to. And my teacher recommended I ask Torry for help. He's really good at math," Prim beamed.

Katniss smiled. It was cute seeing her sister impressed.

"So he said I could come over. When I did, he was babysitting his two younger sisters. I felt so bad. He didn't really have time to help me, but he'd said yes anyway. They were fussing, and as he tried to put them to bed, it just reminded me of Gale and I knew he was a good guy."

"That's good," Katniss said, and she meant it.

"And then I found out he also had a sense of humor…."

Katniss kept smiling at her sister.

"I mean, I haven't seen him chopping wood shirtless yet, so I'm not completely sold."

Both sisters laughed.

"Is that a requisite?" Katniss asked.

"Not exactly. But my I had friends who always came over the days Gale came to chop our wood while you were gone."

"Gale was chopping wood shirtless?" Katniss couldn't believe it.

"Well, it was still summer time, so it was hot out. And to be fair, I don't think he knew we were watching."

"I see," Katniss said.

The two girls were silent for a few moments.

"You don't owe Peeta anything."

"I know," Katniss said, more convincingly than she did before. "But just because I don't owe him, doesn't mean I don't want to save him."

"I get that," Prim said, "but I really think Gale was right. Peeta's got the right to make his own choices. And I don't think he's a revolutionary. Like even if he'd never been to the Games, even without you, I'm not sure he'd side with us."

Katniss thought about this heavily for a moment. Prim was probably right. Peeta would chose the side that would save the most lives. She'd never thought about it quite like this, but she suddenly shuddered realizing that meant supporting the Capitol and the Games.

"Yeah, you might be right…But as you've so astutely pointed out, I don't really know Peeta that well. So I can't say."

Prim laughed lightly. "Fair point. But for whatever reasons, he's made his choice."

"Yeah," Katniss huffed annoyed. "But it's a stupid choice."

"So what you're saying is," Prim looked her sister straight in the eyes, "is that when someone makes a choice that could get them killed, other people should step in?"

"Yeah," Katniss said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  _Didn't Prim care about saving lives?_  She thought,  _isn't that why she works in the clinics?_

"Okay," Prim said carefully, considering her sister's stance. "So Katniss, how would you've felt if Gale stopped you from volunteering for me?"

"What?" Katniss felt like she'd been slapped in the face.

"Gale loves you. He loves you more than I've ever seen anybody love someone else. And when you volunteered for me, you were most likely signing yourself up to get killed…"

"But I had to save you!"  _What was Prim saying?_

Prim saw Katniss's eyes widen with horror and she reached out to comfort her. "I know, Katniss, and I appreciate it. I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just saying that, when you love someone, you let them do what they need to do. Do you have any idea what Gale was thinking when you volunteered? What he probably wanted to do?"

Katniss looked into her sister's blue eyes realizing she'd never given this a thought. She'd been too busy thinking about what she had to do. But she remembered how Gale came to her, gave her his hand the moment she thought the whole world might fall apart. She remembered how it gave her strength.

"All I'm saying, Katniss, is that when you care about someone, sometimes you have to support the decisions they make...even if you don't like them."

Katniss wanted to say something about how Gale should then support her decision to save Peeta, but she knew that'd be getting away from Prim's point.

"When you'd get so smart, little duck?" she asked with a smile.

"I've always been smart."

"That's for sure," Katniss said, wrapping her sister in a hug.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked, her eyes wide with concern.

"Yeah," Katniss said, straightening out her sister's clothes as she pulled away from the hug.

"Alright, then, cause I've got to head out soon."

"You do?" Katniss couldn't imagine where Prim had to be at this hour and was a little sad to think of her leaving.

Prim read her sister's look. "Yeah, I'm going to meet with Torry."

"Ohh," Katniss's voice was knowing.

"We're only studying," Prim responded with a drawn out tone and rolling eyes.

Katniss looked at her like she wasn't quite convinced. "Just tell him to keep his shirt on, okay?"

They both laughed and Prim got up to leave, leaning in to kiss Katniss on the cheek.

"But you know why I'm going to study with Torry?"

Katniss wasn't sure why her sister was asking her this, and Prim could tell.

"Because I want to."

Katniss held Prim's face in the palm of her hand and stroked her cheek.

"I love you, little duck."

"Love you too!" Prim with a smile as she started to walk away.

Katniss sat staring at her empty plate for several minutes – not really thinking of anything – until she couldn't avoid the thoughts in her head and decided to go for a walk. Katniss roamed aimlessly, considering everything Prim had said and how it made sense, even what Gale had said, and how it also made sense. But no matter how many times she reminded herself of it, she couldn't shake the guilt that was gripping her heart.

She shuffled slowly to Gale's room, her head so heavy with thoughts she could hardly bare it.

She entered quietly and jumped when she heard Gale's voice; she'd expected him to be asleep.

"Jesus, Catnip, where the hell have you been?"

"I was walking," she defended.

"You've been gone for hours!"

"Please, don't be mad at me, Gale, I'm not in the mood…"

"I'm not mad, Katniss, I'm worried."

"Oh," she said, taken aback.

"I'm not mad," Gale emphasized. He respected her right to be upset, he knew he didn't act perfect when he was. Though, even though he respected it, he was a bit hurt and certainly frustrated, but mostly because he was stuck in the bed still unable to walk well on his own, and he knew this was getting to him. He didn't want it to get to Katniss.

"Sorry. I didn't realize you'd worry," she said softly.

Gale looked at her pointedly. She never realized that anyone would worry about her, and he didn't know what else he could possibly do to make her realize that.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice urgent and concerned.

"Yeah," she said softly and Gale looked unconvinced. "Look, Gale, I'm tired and I'm tired of thinking about all this. And I just want…"

Katniss paused. She noticed how earnestly Gale seemed to care about what she wanted, recalling what her sister had just said about wanting.

Katniss decided to go with it.

She walked towards Gale and kicked off her shoes as she pulled herself into bed with him.

"I want you to know I love you," she said, leaning in to kiss him. "And I want you to know that you're the best person I know, along with Prim…"

"Okay…"

"And I want you to know that I'm upset about Peeta and I still don't know what to do about it."

"That's okay, Catnip," Gale consoled. Katniss kissed him again.

"And I also want you to know that you shouldn't chop wood shirtless when there are impressionable young women watching.

"What?" Gale said with a laugh. But Katniss didn't explain.

"And finally, I want you to rub my feet because they're killing me," she said.

Gale chuckled again. "I think I can manage that," he said.

And Katniss scooted down towards the foot of the bed as Gale began to rub her feet.

 


	36. Chapter 36

Both Katniss and Gale wished that the tiff over Peeta were their last argument, but that wasn't the case. Both were growing increasingly irritable: Gale, because he couldn't do much and Katniss because she didn't have much to do. And on top of her boredom, she was growing increasingly uncomfortable with her pregnancy, and was prone to snapping at Gale for even the most minor things.

They did finally have a heart to heart about Peeta. Gale listened supportively as Katniss poured out her feelings, and he did his best to comfort and sympathize with her. Even though Katniss still wrestled with what she felt was leaving Peeta behind, she finally acknowledged that he did have the right to make his own choice.

Gale's mood improved substantially when he was released from the hospital. He still hadn't regained all his strength. He walked a bit stiffly and Katniss noticed he stretched his arm a lot by the end of the day at it was sore, but he was happy to get out. He had to finish taking all his tests, and spent most of his first day doing that, in addition to pass his physical exams again which had apparently been voided by his injury.

Uncleared for any active military duty, he was assigned to work in Beetee's lab – per Beetee's request – and it was work Gale seemed to enjoy. He spent his mornings analyzing military tactics, pouring over data, and trying to figure out how the rebels could save the most lines and win.

In the afternoon, he went to work out and training, but he almost always made it back in time to have dinner with Katniss.

Katniss did have much to do during the days. She was no longer needed as the Mockingjay – at least not for the moment – as Four, Seven and Eight's rebellions were holding their own. She was able to have lunch with her mother and sister most days, and she even got to meet Torry a few more times as well. Katniss could see why her sister liked him. He did have a good sense of humor, he was polite and considerate, and very loving towards his two little sisters. Their names were Bobbin and Eyelet, and Katniss guessed that Eyelet was a bit older than Posy and Bobbin, a bit younger. Torry affectionately called them "Eyes" and "B.B.", and they had the same sandy hair he did. Prim would later tell Katniss that Torry had an older sister, Purl, who wasn't with them in Thirteen. Torry hadn't given her more details, and Prim didn't think it her place to ask yet.

Torry's parents were both mechanics, applying the factory work they did in Eight to the machines in Thirteen. They were often called away at odd hours to fix a broken down gauge or gear, and leaving Torry to babysit. But he never seemed to mind.

Gale usually finished work in time to have dinner with Katniss, and they often ate with her family and even his, when not too many relatives were involved. Even though Katniss resisted heavily at first, swearing to Gale that is anyone said anything at upset her…

"Don't worry," he pulled her into his arms, kissing her on the forehead.

"Alright, Hawthorne," she said with a long sideways glance. "But just so you know, I'm crabby today."

"I know," Gale said with a smile. Katniss was crabby most days now. She was having a rough time sleeping – because she often couldn't get comfortable to fall asleep, and once she did, either her bladder or strange dreams woke her up. In addition to being sleep deprived, she was also starting to swell and get cramps in all parts of her body. All the literature they read told them this was normal, but that didn't make Katniss any happier about it. He leaned in and kissed her again.

"It'll just be my mom and siblings," Gale told her, "they'll be happy to see you."

Katniss huffed in compliance, her hunger driving her more than anything, as they set out to the cafeteria.

Over dinner, Katniss remember how fond she was of Hazelle and actually had a pleasant time. They laughed as Hazelle forced Rory to confess the trouble he'd gotten into, which he pouted about but accepted Gale's scolding. Vick eagerly told his brother about a project he was working on in school.

"I'm thinking of focusing on mechanics," Vick beamed. In Thirteen, students left their regular studies at age 13 and began to specialize. Some, like Prim and Torry, chose to study  _Health_ , but their other options were  _Service_  – which consisted of just about everything that involved interacting with humans, from teachers to food servers;  _Law_  – were the lawyers, politicians, and police were trained;  _Systems_  – which dealt with all the computers and coding;  _Mechanics_  – everything from engineering to plumbing;  _Energy_  – which dealt with production and regulation;  _Military_  – where all the soldiers trained;  _Food_  – which oversaw all aspects of food production, cultivation, and distribution; and  _Environment_  – which was really sanitations and involved keeping the air, water, and facilities clean.

Gale remembered how his little brother liked to figure out how things worked, just like he did. "I think you'd be really good at that, Vick," he said.

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly, "a few of my friends want to go into systems, but I don't know…" From Twelve, he was still very bad with computers.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Gale said, messing his kid brother's hair. "How're you liking your course, Ror?" Gale asked.

Rory huffed. Katniss couldn't help but notice that everything seemed to bother him. She could relate, as most things bothered her too, but she had a small human growing inside her. She wondered what his excuse was.

"Not liking Foods?" Rory had chosen this because he liked to eat, but he's sorely and quickly found out that Foods surprisingly had nothing to do with the eating part.

Rory huffed again. "It's not that bad," he said gruffly, but he was upset because he'd been forced to pluck chickens that morning after mouthing off to his teacher. He'd been pecked a few times during the experience, and angrily stabbed the meat on his plate in vengeance.

Posy, meanwhile, spent most of the meal staring wide eyed and opened mouthed at Katniss's belly. "But Mommy," she said a few times, only for Hazelle to immediately hush her.

"What is it, Posy?" Katniss asked, unable to take her stares anymore.

Posy's eyes darted uncertainly from her mother's to Gale's.

"I'm sorry," Hazelle said, "Posy, it's not polite to stare." Hazelle looked at her youngest, her big round eyes still shinning with confusion.

"Can I see the baby?"

"No dear, the baby still growing."

"Oh," Posy said, clearly not understanding. "But I really want to see the baby."

Katniss couldn't help it, she actually thought Posy looked cute.

"You can feel the baby though," Katniss said with a smile.

Posy looked up at her mom and Hazelle nodded, helping her out of her chair. Posy tottered over to Katniss's side of the table.

"Here, put your hand just like this," Katniss said, placing the child's hand under her shirt. "Say something Gale."

"What?" He looked confused.

"She always moves when you talk, say something."

Gale beamed proudly hearing that, and Hazelle noticed and tried not to get teary eyed.

"Oh..Uhh…Hey there, little one," Gale said, "do you want to say high to your aunt?"

The baby fluttered and Posy cooed.

"Wow!" she said, pulling back, not sure what she'd just felt. "It's like a fish!"

Katniss wasn't really sure what Posy meant by that, but she didn't overthink it.

Posy's face read utter bewilderment as Hazelle pulled her back to her chair.

"That was the baby?"

"Yeah," Katniss said.

"But where's Gale's baby?"

"It's just one baby, sweetheart." Hazelle said, "They're having it together."

Posy took a moment to think this over. "So Gale doesn't have to have a baby in his belly too?"

"No dear," Hazelle said shaking her head as Gale chuckled.

"But why?" Posy asked.

 _That's a good question,_ Katniss thought.

"Mommies get to carry babies first, Po," Gale said. "Daddies have to wait their turn."

"Oh," Posy said and Katniss scoffed.

"You make it sound like you're getting the raw end of the deal," she said.

Gale put his arm around her and rubbed her back.

"Can I go?" Rory said, dropping his fork to his plate loudly and annoyed with the whole conversation.

Hazelle looked at him sternly, inclined to say no. She wanted her kids to know that family time was important, but after the mood Rory'd been in recently, she didn't really want him around either.

"I've had a rough day, Ma, I'm tired," he suddenly looked more sincere.

"He has," Vick endorsed his older brother. "Pigeon dumped him today."

Rory looked down, putting on his best sad face.

"Fine," Hazelle said wearily. She'd never liked that girl, but she understood how much a breakup could hurt.

He exhaled heavily, without a word of goodbye or thanks, and left the table.

"That boy," Hazelle said.

"Go easy on him, Ma," Vick pleaded his brother's case.

Hazelle had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "That girl's been nothing but trouble."

Katniss vaguely recalled her mother mentioning the name Pigeon before, though she couldn't recall specifics, she remembered her mom not liking her.

"Not a fan of Rory's girlfriend?"

"No," Hazelle said definitely. "I just wished  _he'd_  dumped her instead."

"Yeah," Gale agreed, "getting dumped is hard. It might take a while, but I'm sure Rory will get over it."

Katniss looked at him and wondered if Gale'd ever known what that felt like. She recalled how the girls were all over him at school. He was so popular she bed that none of them would have ever broken up with him.

"He'll be fine," Vick said, "he's already got a new girlfriend."

"What?" Hazelle's voice rose sharply.

Vick looked away bashfully.

"Vick, you speak up now!"

"He's just…"

"You're covering for your brother, aren't you?"

Vick looked away sheepishly.

"He asked you to help convince me let him leave the table, didn't he?"

Vick's face told Hazelle she was right. She let out a frustrated sigh. She should have known, it wasn't the first time Rory's used his brother against her.

"And did he tell you to lie to me about Pigeon to make me feel sorry for him?"

"No, ma!"

"Vicker Mallard, so help you if I find out you're lying to me…"

"Ma, I swear!" Vick pleaded.

"He's probably off with that girl right now…"

"No, she did break up with him! Honestly!"

Hazelle eyed her youngest son skeptically. He was a sweetheart, and that allowed him to get duped into helping his brother, but Vick wasn't a liar.

"I swear!" Vick desperately wanted to convince her. Vick tried to be the peacekeeper of the family. He just wanted everyone to be happy. "Pigeon dumped him after she found he'd making out with Meeda!"

"Oh for Heaven's sake!" Hazelle threw down her napkin, snatched Posy's hand, and began to get up. It was one thing for Rory to try and manipulate her sympathies with his story of being dumped, but entirely another to do so just so he could go off and make out with another girl.

"He's with her right now, isn't he?" She demanded of Vick.

"Probably," he piped.

"Alright. Where are they?"

Gale couldn't help but smile as he watched his mom on the warpath. He didn't envy what Rory had coming to him, not that he felt bad for his little brother in the least, and he almost wished he could watch him mom with Posy in tow, uncover his brother in his romantic exploits.

"Is it going to be bad?" Katniss asked when Gale's eyes met hers.

"I think he's in for more embarrassment that trouble," Gale confessed. "But my mom isn't going to let him lie to her or cheat on his girlfriends, no matter how much she doesn't like them."

Katniss didn't know why, but she was slightly surprised to hear this.

"You speaking from experience?"

Gale laughed a bit uneasily. "I've never cheated," he insisted.

But Katniss's eyes remained locked on his.

"All right, in my most formative years, I might have let a few undefined relationships play to my advantage. But when a girl I'd made out with at a party came crying to my door, my mother didn't even have to scold me, I felt so bad. I never knew she'd be hurt."

"Mmmhmm."

"I'm serious! I spent like four hours on the front porch holding her while she sobbed."

Katniss's face softened. She believed Gale'd do something like this.

"You believe me, don't you?" Katniss was surprised to realize Gale was genuinely concerned; she wasn't questioning his character, but rather the nature of young relationships in general.

"Yeah," she said as Gale cradled her back as she rose.

He took her tray as they left the cafeteria.

When they got back to their room, Katniss decided to shower, and Gale read a book on warfare tactics that Beetee'd given him.

"So you never made out with any girls who you weren't dating after that?"

Gale laughed watching her towel her hair as she entered the room. He wasn't exactly surprised this was still on her mind. "I wouldn't say that," he began carefully.

"What would you say then?"

"I made sure they knew it didn't indicate a commitment."

"Hmm."

"Does this really bother you, Katniss?"

"What? Oh, no. I guess I'm just trying to figure out," she paused and thought about how to explain it as she came over and sat on the bed by Gale. She looped her legs over his lap and reclined. "Do you think Rory's a normal young boy?"

Gale laughed slightly as he let his hands run across the soft skin of her legs.

"I mean, yeah, probably. The early teen years aren't anyone's best time." Gale looked in her face as he said this and watched a scowl cross her face. He was really surprised his little brother's poor dating skills were bothering so much. "I should probably talk to him though…" he began, trying to fix it.

"Oh, what, no. I'm just…do you think Prim's boy will do something like that?"

Gale suddenly realized what was troubling her. Gale hadn't met Torry yet, so he couldn't really say. "Katniss," he began, but she just turned on her side and buried her face into the pillow. "Katniss, what's wrong?" Gale asked as soon as she realized she was crying. Gale pulled himself out from under her and hopped down on the floor, squatting so his face was by hers. He ran his hand through her hair, and tried to pull her face up so she'd look at him.

"I don't know Gale," she said through streaming tears, "I'm freaking pregnant and hormonal and I haven't slept in like a week and my back hurts and my breasts hurt and I'm hungry and my sister might fall in love with a boy who could break her heart, and I don't even know how to handle that, so how can she? Like, how can you ever learn to love someone again? I don't know how that's possible. If something happened to you, to us, I don't think I could do it. I really don't. I'd be alone forever…and what if Prim's alone forever?"

Gale took a moment to process all the information Katniss was throwing at him, and he felt his heart grow with his love for her, both because she seemed to need him so much in that moment and because it meant so much for him to hear how he felt about him.

"Hey, hey, it's okay."

"No it's not, they're doomed!" she wailed.

Gale suppressed a small chuckle. "They're not doomed," he said, pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her temple. "They'll both be okay."

Katniss started sobbing again, unable to believe it. "No, Gale, if you lose somebody you love, you die…" Katniss said, remembering her father's death. "If anything ever happened to you…"

"Nothing's going to happen to me – "

"You just got shot!"

"And I'm still here," he said with a smile Katniss didn't notice. "Katniss," he said, taking her face in his hands and looking deeply into her eyes. "You aren't going to lose me, you hear? Nothing in this world could take me from you, nothing. If I get shot, if I get captured, I don't care what, I will always come back to you, you hear?"

She nodded, not even sure what she was feeling anymore, and Gale pulled her back into his arms and held her until she finally calmed down. When her breathing returned to normal, he finally pulled away.

Katniss immediately began to look away, knowing her eyes and nose were runny. She searched for a tissue, but none were nearby. Gale noticed and pulled off his shirt and handed it to her. She looked at him warily.

"Go ahead," he told her with a soft smile, and she used it to wipe her face.

"I'm sorry," she said, always feeling the need to excuse her emotions.

"It's alright," he said, rubbing her legs and she nodded even though her thoughts hadn't settled.

Katniss traced the line of his collarbone absently. "Do you really think people can love again?"

Gale exhaled heavily. "I don't think Pigeon or Rory were in love," he said carefully. "And I don't think Prim and Torry are yet either. They're just learning to figure it all out, and that can be a bumpy road sometimes."

Katniss nodded even though she didn't actually agree. She was still trying to make sense of her thoughts. "I don't know why this upset me so," she said with a little laugh.

"You care about your sister."

"Yeah. And I can't believe Rory cheated on somebody…"

"Yeah," Gale agreed with a frown. He was going to have to give his little brother a stern talking to.

"I just suddenly was trying to understand…and then I was suddenly imagining what it would feel like…"

"Katniss, you know I would never do anything like that to you," Gale said with heavy resolve.

"I know," she said, looking up at him with certainly. "I just…" she huffed, not knowing what she wanted to say. "I'm just so tired of being pregnant!" she said with a heavy sigh and she looked down at her belly.

Gale smiled and leaned in to kiss her stomach, which was poking through the opening of the robe she had around her. He ran his hands across the bump.

"Is it that bad?"

"I'm an emotional nutcase! I think I might be going insane, honestly. I saw this mom walking with a baby yesterday and I asked if I could hold it. I'm not even lying."

Gale chuckled slightly. "That's not that crazy," he said.

"Yeah, it is. And she let me. And I was thinking, what kind of a horrible mother just lets some stranger hold her baby? I was thinking I should take that baby…protect it from it's terrible mother!"

"Okay, that might be a little crazy…"

"I know! I didn't take the baby, but I'm telling you, Gale, for a few moments there, I really thought I might…."

"Let's just not steal anyone else's kid, and I think it'll be okay."

"But I've never liked babies! I didn't even like Posy when I first met her..."

Gale's smile flickered slightly as she said this, but it didn't realize surprise him. He knew Katniss didn't like kids.

"I mean, they cry and I'm pretty sure they poop on you…but now, every time I see one, I just want to snatch it up."

"I think your maternal instincts are starting to kick in. It's perfectly natural for you to be drawn to children since you're about to be a mom."

Katniss scoffed like it was nothing but annoying.

"Just don't steal any, okay?"

Katniss laughed and leaned her head in to kiss him. "I won't."

Gale kissed her back.

"Unless it's really cute."

Gale laughed and kissed her again. Slowly and sweetly at first, and then more deeply. Their lips stayed locked, and Katniss pulled him closer to her. Or, at least, as close as she could considering her belly, and let her hands roam down the strong muscles of his back, glad so much of their skin could touch.

Gale flicked his tongue inside her mouth, and she thought it was such a tease. She wanted all of him inside her, her nerves starting to dance like they couldn't be kept inside her body. Katniss was almost certain if Gale touched her just right, she'd spark.

Gale let his hand slid inside her robe, knocking one of the shoulders off to reveal her breast, which he took gently in his hand and kissed.

A deep moan escaped her lips. "Oh, God, Gale," she said almost panting. "Do you want to…"

"Yes, I want to," he said with a small laugh.

"Oh, good, I just wanted to make sure you were interested."

"Of course I'm interested," he said ravenously, lips sliding to her other breast.

She smiled and bit her lip. "This won't bother you?" her eyes darted down to her stomach.

"Katniss," Gale said urgently, cupping her face in his hand and making her look at him. "I love you."

"I know. But have you noticed my belly button?" It'd recently popped out and Katniss felt weird about it.

Gale laughed. "Yes, I've noticed," and he leaned down and kissed it. "And I think your body, God, your body," he leaned in to kiss her again, "is so beautiful. It couldn't be more incredible. You've let me touch it, taste it, inside it, and now, it's carrying my child…This is…" he pulled his head up and looked her all over, "this is the most amazing body in the world."

Katniss felt herself blushing and tried to dismiss her insecurity. "I just wanted to make sure since I'm getting so big."

"Please, Katniss, believe me when I tell you I think you're absolutely stunning."

"Okay," she said, wanting to get away from the topic before another burst of emotions hit her. She didn't know why she was so insecure, Gale certainly never done anything to make her feel that way, but with her body changing so much…

"Everything about you excites me so much," he said, his lips practically pressed into her skin.

"Me too."

"I can tell," he chuckled, and she felt one of his hands slide up between her legs. All words suddenly left Katniss's brain, as she fell back on the bed and helped Gale climb on top of her.

As his kisses crossed his body, she worked him hard in her hand, and as soon as he was ready, she guided him in. She wanted to feel him inside her, and the sound that escaped her lips was more than an invitation.

Gale held himself up over her stomach and she hooked one of her legs around him, as he began to thrust.

"Ahhhhahhhh," she moaned in a slightly different tone. She was extra sensitive.

"Are you okay?" Gale asked, noting her reaction.

"Yeah…just…gentler."

"Of course," Gale said, both his tone and motions matching in tenderness.

Katniss began to shudder with pleasure as he moved in and out of her. She kissed the skin on his wrist, wanting to taste him all over, but settling for the only space she could reach. As his moves began to drive her wild, her kisses became more teeth than lips, pressed softly against his skin.

As Gale's thrusts continued, Katniss felt herself rise to a state of pure bliss, rather than being pushed over the edge in frenzied ecstasy, she was just transported to contentment, her body not overflowing, but rather radiating pleasure. And it didn't end when Gale stopped, finally having finished himself and falling, panting next to her, his injured arm quivering, hardly able to support him any longer.

"I love you so much," she said, pulling his face to her.

Gale couldn't make himself speak he was so spent, but his lips managed to return her kisses, and he found the strength to pull her into his arms as they fell asleep, each drunk off of the other.

When Katniss awoke the next morning, Gale had already left, moving quietly in the morning to not disturb her. As she pulled herself out of bed, her skin still tingling from the night before, she felt as if she could wrap the sensation around her and insulate herself with it. But her body finally started to crave something other than Gale's touch, and a loud rumble from her belly told her it was time for breakfast.

"Hi, Mom," she said as the door to her room opened.

"Hello, honey, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, I just wanted to see what you and Prim were up to."

"Ahh. Well, Prim's at school right now."

"Oh," Katniss said, a bit disappointed.

"You know, she's in school every morning. Her schedule hasn't changed."

"Right," Katniss said, having never really paid attention, as she let herself in the room. "So, what are you up to?"

"Laundry," Anise said as she watching Katniss sit herself down on the bed.

"Cool," Katniss said flatly.

Anise eyed her daughter for a few moments, and when it was clear Katniss wasn't going to offer to help, she returned to her folding.

"Do you want to get breakfast with me?"

Anise lowered the towel in her hands and looked at her daughter curiously. "Katniss, it's almost noon."

"Is that a no?" Katniss said, not comprehending. Her pregnancy was also making her very absent minded.

"Honey, I just mean it's almost time for lunch. Have you not eaten yet today?"

Katniss looked away, not wanting to answer.

"Katniss," her mother said harshly. Katniss wasn't quite sure if this was motherly concern or a doctor's reprimand. "You're entering your third trimester. This is when your baby is going to gain the most weight."

"But I don't want her to get any bigger…" Katniss said petulantly.

"Did you really not eat breakfast?"

Her mother exhaled sharply and grabbed her ID. "Come on then, let's get you fed."

Katniss's mom put a decent portion of her food on her daughter's plate. Katniss didn't really want to accept it, but her stomach started to rumble as soon as she smelled it.

"Really, Katniss, you can't skip meals at this stage of your pregnancy. Especially not that they're cutting back rations…"

"I know. I just overslept. I've been so tired recently."

"Well, sleep gets harder in the third trimester too. Not only is your body more achy and sore, but you'll often have vivid, strange dreams…"

Katniss huffed unhappily. She was already familiar with this.

"You're not having…nightmares, are you?" her mom asked, a strange tone of concern coming over her.

Katniss look up from her food, surprised to hear such a softness in her mom. She wasn't sure how she felt about it, so she just shook her head and decided to change the subject.

"Mom, what do you think of Peeta?"

"Oh, I suppose he's alright, dear," Anise said, seemingly unperturbed by the topic change.

Katniss started at her mom as she took a small bite of the green beans she'd been served that day.

"What do you think of Torry?" Katniss asked, just to see if her mother had an opinion about anyone that was other than  _alright_.

"Torry seems like a very nice boy."

Katniss huffed. "It's just...I don't think Prim likes Peeta very much."

"Yes, that's true. But she does like Torry. And Gale too, for that matter."

Katniss knew that was true, and smiled slightly, remembering her and her sister's earlier discussion. "Do you like Gale, mom?"

Anise rose her eyes to meet her daughter's. "Gale's a fine young man, and I know he loves you very much."

"But?" Katniss felt like there was on in there.

"It's a bit late to ask for my approval, dear, don't you think?"

"Do I not have it?"

"Of course you do," Anise said in an uncharacteristically expressive tone.

Katniss probed her mother's eyes for a minute. "Does Gale have it?"

The first few times Anise had met Gale, he'd been hostile, openly criticizing her treatment of her daughters and calling her out in ways her girls never could. Anise knew he was just trying to stand up for Katniss, albeit in his angry, immature way. But then, one day, she caught Katniss smiling. She hadn't seen her daughter smile in ages, and there she was with a big grin on her face. And it was all because of Gale.

Anise reached out and took Katniss's hand, stroking it softly. Katniss couldn't recall a moment in her life when her mother had touched her like this. She didn't know how she felt about it.

"Gale's the only person who's ever made you happy," she said, her voice wobbling only slightly as she said it. "You used to never smile except for when you got to see him. You'd smile before you'd go on in the woods with him, you'd smile after. There was a time when I began to worry if you'd ever be happy again. Then you met him, and…" her voice caught again. This time, Katniss noticed.

"What mom?"

Anise smiled softly. "I knew that boy'd make you happy forever, if you'd let him."

Katniss felt a flush of emotions hit her and she had to look away.

"You never smiled when you had to spend time with Peeta," her mom added. Anise actually liked Peeta. He was polite, sweet, courteous, and he kind of reminded her of her brother who she'd always been fond of. Gale'd never been any of those things to her, but Peeta'd never made her daughter happy. "Not before you'd have to see him, and not after."

"Yeah," Katniss said, knowing this was true. Katniss had certainly felt a lot of things about Peeta, but happy wasn't one of them.

"You really loved dad, didn't you, mom?"

"Yes," her mom said, a bit surprised her daughter was asking.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to love someone else again?"

A strange shadow crossed her mother's eyes, and she took a moment to think when someone walked up to their table.

"Ms. Everdeen?"

"Yes?" her mother said.

"Um, Katniss Everdeen?" The speaker was a young man, clearly delivering someone else's message.

"Yeah," she said, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Your presence is requested…" The boy began, looking down at his sheet, clearly searching for the right words.

Katniss felt bad for him and softly reached out for the paper, which he let her take. She saw that she'd been requested to join a meeting with the President and the other members of her council.

Katniss couldn't imagine what the was about, but she knew she had to go.

"Um…I've got to go to a meeting," she told her mom, who nodded agreeingly.

"Alright dear. Can you finish your meal before you go?"

The messenger boy clearly didn't have an answer for this, so Katniss just told him she'd be right there. She ate the rest of her food quickly and said goodbye to her mom.

When Katniss made her way to the council room, only Coin, Pierce, Beetee and Gale were there.

"Miss Everdeen, thank you for joining us." Coin said with a slight smile.

"Yeah, of course." There was a clear question on Katniss's voice. "What's going on?"

"Today, Snow is announcing the Quell."

Katniss's chin dropped slightly, but she recovered quickly. They'd known Snow was going to announce it early, but didn't know when. Cinna's sources had guessed that Snow would make it a surprise announcement one day, try to shock the nation. And Beetee's monitoring of the airwaves had discovered that the announcement was going to be made today.

Katniss felt her stomach squirm and she felt a bit feverish. Anything about the Games was enough to make her feel uneasy, but with everything going on with Peeta, she felt extra nauseous.

Gale took her hand as she sat down, and Katniss held it tightly for strength even though it was sweaty.

"We're not announcing it to the general population here," Coin explained, since Thirteen wasn't directly impacted by the Games, this wasn't necessary. "But Snow's broadcasting this throughout the rest of Panem."

Katniss only nodded, her head swarming with thoughts.

"Beetee, could you set up the channel for us?" Coin asked.

"Of course," Beetee said. Katniss noticed he seemed extra nervous too, and knew it was because he was also a Victor. She guessed no amount of time was able to undo all the Game's wounds.

Beetee explained how he'd been able to hack into the live stream as the screen popped to life, Katniss sat hoping to see Cinna or Haymitch's face spark before her; hoping they were joining as they had done before. But when the blackness blinked away, the face that appeared on the screen was Snow's.

He stood before a grand podium and looked extra put together that day. He wore an immaculate white suit with gold embellishments stitched throughout.

He was standing somewhere clearly important in the Capitol. The flag of Panem flowed regally behind him. And the sky was clear and perfect.

Behind him several important people sat supportively. Katniss thought she recognized a few faces. Perhaps she'd seen them on television before or when she was in the Capitol herself. But she knew she recognized one of them: Peeta.

He was standing to the side of Snow and was chatting with another man in an indigo suit.

Katniss felt her stomach sink and wasn't aware of anything else that happened until she felt Gale's grip tighten around hers, making her return to herself. She looked up at him and saw the concern written across his face and she tried to make herself smile assuringly, thought she could only imagine how frightening of a look she'd managed to conjure.

The sound of the Capitol's television cued in, and Beetee informed them that the broadcast had begun.

Panem's emblem materialized in front the screen and an announcer informed the audiences of Panem that their President had a special announcement for them.

Katniss could only imagine the children in schools throughout the nation stopping their school day to hear this; the men and women at working….

The camera slowly panned into Snow's face, who looked solemn, even remorseful, as he began address the nation:

"Citizens of Panem," he began, "today, I've been charged with the most unpleasant task of informing you that there are a few in this nation who seek to upset life for the rest of us."

A sound of gasped horror came from the nonexistent crowd Snow was facing. Katniss could only imagine the tech in the Capitol studio who'd added it. She wondered if it was at Plutarch's command.

"But we must also note the time they have chosen to do so."

Katniss imagined him struggling to hold back a smile as he said that.

"For, this is not only on the eve of the Games, but more importantly, the Quarter Quell."

Another gasp was added in.

"And I know our entire nation faces the Quell with heavy hearts, but this year we all must realize that it comes as a most necessary reminder," he said, pausing for effect. "Our great forbearers must have known when setting up our noble institution of the Hunger Games that we would need to be reminded of the true costs of rebellion. It is my sad duty to tell you that that time has come again. There are a few in Panem who greedily and selfishly seek to disrupt life for the rest of us. But ours is not a nation where the few can upset the lives of others, nor where they can try to determine their fate…"

There were cheers from the crowd now.

"No, ours is a nation where the lives of a few are rather sacrificed to keep the rest of us safe. Thus, it falls on me to announce the terms of the Third Quarter Quell!"

More rousing cheers. Katniss could no longer keep her eyes on the screen and looked down as Snow specified the terms of this year's Quell.

"But this is also a time where we can perhaps learn mercy," Snow said, a real smile finally showing through, "for this year, we will again allow there to be two victors from the same district!"

Despite everything Katniss had done for the Games, she still didn't really understand propaganda, but even she knew that Snow's speech had been good. He somehow made the Games seem reasonable, the Capitol merciful…

She was wondering how all the other districts were reacting when Peeta took stage.

All her thoughts immediately left her head as she listened to him give a rousing speech. Peeta targeted not only the Capitol, but all of Panem. He told them how no one knew better than he the horrors of the Games, and yet, despite all that, those horrors were noting compared to a rebellion.

"I'd never wish that terror on anybody," Peeta said convincingly, eyes shining true, "but I'd rather see it happen to a select few than all."

There could be no better endorsement for the Quell. Katniss wasn't even sure if Peeta meant it. She felt sick and started shaking uncontrollably at this point. Gale tried to hold her tighter, but Katniss had just wrenched her hand free and hid both of them in her lap.

The room was quiet as Peeta ended his speech. When Katniss regained some of her composure, she surveyed the room. Beetee looked disappointed, Gale furious, Pierce vengeful, and Coin just a bit worried.

It was finally Beetee who spoke. "That was distributed throughout the nation. Mandatory viewings," he confirmed by looking at one of his devices. "I'll be able to report tonight on what the initial blowback is…"

"Thank you, Beetee," Coin said.

"Is it going to be bad?" Katniss couldn't stop herself from asking.

Coin looked at her with a strange sympathy. But when she spoke, she was all business. "We'll know tonight," she said definitely, and began to pick up her things.

"If you need me to say something, I will. If it'll help," Katniss added. She wasn't even sure why, but she was suddenly overcome with the need to help undo what she'd just seen.

"Hopefully it won't come to that, Miss Everdeen, considering your…but thank you," Coin said, a bit of softness returned. "Plutarch and Cinna will be arriving by tonight. And by then, Beetee will hopefully have some good information about what's going on in the Districts. We'll keep you posted."

And with that, Coin left with General Piece close behind.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off, Hawthorne," Beetee said, placing his hand on Gale's shoulder but looking at Katniss.

Gale nodded and mumbled thanks as Beetee left. The pair sat in silence for several moments and Katniss finally asked if they could just go back to their room.

Once back, Katniss got sick and threw up almost everything she'd eaten. Gale pressed a cool washcloth onto her neck and got her water as he tried to figure out what he could say make her feel better. But nothing was working.

Katniss's mind was spiraling – she wasn't only worried about Peeta now, but all of the rebellion. And on top of all that was the Quell. She couldn't stop herself from shaking just at the thought of it. Her mind jumped from worrying about what would happen to all involved parties, and her thoughts were so flustered she almost thought her head might explode.

"I think I just want to take a shower," she finally said after an untold amount of passed. "I think it'll relax me."

"Okay," Gale said. He kissed her on top of the head as he got up and turned on the water. He helped Katniss undress herself and then let her be.

He contacted her mother, asking if she could get some food and sedatives delivered for Katniss, which she did, needing no further explanation beyond the announcement of the Quell.

Katniss sat on the floor of the shower, letting the hot water roll over her and hoping it would was away some of her pain. Her stomach was still clenched with nerves, her hands shanking, remembering the horror of the Games was enough, but on top of it all, she was trying to figure out what was going to happen with the rebellion. With Peeta.

His speech had been too good. He'd been too convincing. In fact, he'd almost convinced her at one point. As he spoke, she found herself thinking he made sense. If it hadn't been for the fact that she'd actually been through the Games, she probably would have agreed with him since she found herself believing him, and she wondered if Peeta actually did believe what he was saying. But she didn't know.

And then she hoped he hadn't done it to secure her safety. She hoped to god he hadn't done it for that reason, but she didn't know that either.

And then something funny happened in Katniss's brain – she started to laugh. She suddenly realized that she didn't really know Peeta. After everything Gale and Prim had told her over the past couple of days, all the times they'd told her that she didn't really know Peeta, she'd heard them, but she didn't understand. After everything she and Peeta'd been through together, of course they knew each other. Prim and Gale just didn't understand.

And now, Katniss finally did. It was suddenly so obvious to her that she couldn't help but laugh. She didn't know if Peeta believed what he was saying. She didn't know why he'd said it. She just didn't know…and she suddenly wondered how she could have ever thought she did know that boy with the bread so well.

She didn't know what his favorite food was. She didn't know what his middle name was. She didn't know if he liked to dance or if he'd liked school. She didn't know what made him angry or if he liked animals…

Katniss thought about all the things she didn't know about Peeta until her water turned cold and she finally had to get out.

 _How could I have every thought I knew him?_ she thought to herself as she came out.

Gale jumped up as she entered the room, anxious about what state she'd be in. But Katniss just shook her head, telling him not to worry, as she walked into his arms.

"I'm okay."

"Yeah?" he questioned.

"Mostly," she said, nuzzling herself deeper into him. "I mean…anything that involves the Games…"

Gale held her tightly. He too had noticed the effect it had on Beetee, and that was after years and years. He could scarcely imagine how it made Katniss feel.

"And how do you feel…" Gale didn't want to say it, but he knew he had to ask. "What about Peeta?"

"Peeta made his choice," she said, finally giving herself permission to no longer worry.


	37. Chapter 37

Snow's Quell announcement turned out to have mixed results. Instead of terrifying the Districts into submission, his speech actually pushed some of the others into joining. The night of the announcement, rebellions started in both Six and Three.

Lagan Corsair's efforts were proving to still be the most successful, and the Capitol was effectively powerless in that District. The new fighting in Six and Three helped ease some of the pressure that Seven and Eight were facing, and Eight especially took new ground after that night.

The Rebellion'd been especially hoping to get Five, Nine, Ten, or Eleven on their side too, but since those districts provided the energy and food to the Capitol, its most important commodities, it was likely the Capitol was working hard to keep their power there.

Cinna arrived at Thirteen like he'd promised, and Katniss got to officially meet him and his family. Cinna's husband was named Lux Rococo, but went by "Roco". And they had three sons: a ten year old boy named Ajax and adorable four year old twins named Orion and Apollo.

Katniss learned that there was actually program in the Capitol to help families adopt orphans from the Districts who couldn't have children of their own. The twins were adopted from Four and Ajax from Eleven. Cinna's husband wanted to adopt three girls next, but Cinna'd told him that they had enough on their plate until the rebellion was over.

"See, we're not all evil," Cinna told her as he had lunch with her one day.

"We plan to adopt girls next," Roco told her with a big smile on his face. "I want at least three more." Katniss couldn't help but notice that Cinna didn't seem to be in on this plan. "What?" he said, putting his hand on Cinna's softly.

"I think we've got enough going on right now with the twins and the Rebellion," Cinna said.

"But the Rebellion's an even bigger reason to adopt…Think of all the orphans…."

Cinna also told Katniss that Peeta'd never contacted him again after their phone conversation. "He seemed pretty committed to staying on good terms with Snow," Cinna explained. "And Effie too."

Katniss felt a pang of guilt. She hadn't thought about Effie in ages, but she wasn't surprised at Effie's choice.

In retaliation to Peeta's powerful speech, other former Victors came to make propos of their own, countering Peeta's stance. Finnick left the Capitol and openly took up arms in Four alongside Corsair. He made a video explaining why Snow's newest announcement forced him to leave the Capitol and align with the rebellion.

"He could no longer ignore the Capitol's evil," he said. "It was time to do what's right."

According to Beetee's info, Finnick's video was very popular. A girl named Annie made one as well, as did Johanna and another victor from Seven named Cecilia. So did Haymitch.

His video was the first time Katniss had seen him since he'd stayed to fight in Eight. He looked like he'd aged years in the week or so he'd been gone, and Katniss noticed he'd taken up smoking as well.

Finnick's piece was especially popular – and his departure caused quite a stir in the Capitol since he was seen by many to be the Capitol's darling. But all the propos helped boost morale in the rebelling districts and pulled more sympathy to their side.

Katniss made a propo as well. She sat behind a desk in her Mockingjay suit in a small studio in some corner of Thirteen. The lighting was dark, and it looked like she was in a bunker working somewhere. In it, she read the lines Plutarch had written for her and told the people of Panem that they deserved something better than Snow's tyranny and asked them to help her fight.

Even she had to admit it was not her best work and it failed to inspire much of anything other than boredom.

Two days after the Quell announcement, however, Three fell back under Capitol control. Beetee took this especially hard since this district was his home, and Katniss agreed to do another propo of her own.

"Send me back out into the field," she told Coin. "You know I'm better out there."

Coin agreed.

She and Gale fought about it when he found out. He didn't want her doing anything that might put her in danger, but she insisted it was a worthwhile risk. She still felt like she was in a large part, not responsible for, but accountable to the Rebellion. And if there was something she could do to help it, then she was going to.

"I won't put myself in any danger," she insisted when they were back in the privacy of their room.

Gale laughed. "That's what you said last time, Catnip, and went running towards a burning building in the middle of a shoot out!"

"But I didn't get hurt," she maintained. "And I won't do that again, I promise!"

She looked at him fiercely, but also fearfully. Katniss hadn't admitted it, but the Capitol regaining Three frightened her. _What would happen if they got Seven or Eight also? What would happen to them?_ The Rebellion couldn't afford to lose any more momentum. And if there was one thing that could give them momentum, it was her.

"I'm going with you," Gale said, still unhappy with the whole situation.

She approached him and softly took his arm. "I know."

"Damn it, Katniss, if anything happens to you…" He grabbed her in a fierce hug, his emotions getting the better of him.

It was decided that Katniss would go visit a hospital in Eight that weekend, and Gale threw himself into his physical training so he could repass his tests and go with her. He nearly killed himself doing it, refusing to take it easier at Katniss's, his mother's and even Beetee's request, but that weekend, they were both suited and being sent back to Eight.

Cressida and her team were with them and they landed in a quiet field far away, walking nearly an hour before they got to the site. Katniss was hoping she'd get to see Haymitch, but she was told he was deep in the fight in the heart of the district. The hospital was far from the action, and Six had sent some cars over now that they were making headway in their District to help transport the soldiers and wounded. From what Katniss gathered from the soldiers talking , Haymitch had earned quite the reputation for himself in Eight. And it wasn't one Katniss would ever have guessed: He was respected. Even Organdy deferred to him, and under Haymitch's command, Eight was gaining ground.

In the hospital, Katniss walked around the Hospital, her heart both sank and floated.

"Look, it's the Mockingjay!"

"It can't be!"

"Really! It's her! She's here to save us!"

"Mom, look! Look!"

Katniss had to fight back tears, as she walked up and down the aisles of wounded, mostly women and children.

"Where are all the men?" she whispered to Gale. "Why are they targeting women and children?" Katniss knew the Capitol was cruel…but this?

Gale's eyes shifted, and she knew he knew something he didn't want her to know. He didn't even have to say it:

 _Oh,_ she realized, _the Capitol was killing all the men_.

These people were the survivors from the fringes of the attacks. Anyone who was actually fighting was being killed.

Katniss grabbed Gale's hand tightly as she realized.

Katniss spent almost an hour with the people, stopping and letting them touch her face, shake their hands, listening to their stories, assuring all that things would get better.

"Are you okay?" she asked one small boy, who was sitting alone in the corner. He had dark, thick curly hair and reminded her of a child she might see in the Seam.

"I don't know," he said, looking down at his feet.

"What's wrong?" Katniss asked, her face wide with alarm.

"I don't know," he said again. She realized he wasn't being evasive, he was just afraid. This poor child was scared and alone

"Oh," Katniss said, relieved he wasn't injured in some way. She reached out to him softly and he slowly looked up. "You don't have to be afraid anymore," she smiled, "you're safe here."

The boy looked around, stopping on Gale and the other soldiers, all armed with guns.

Katniss understood his fear.

"You know why my dad used to do when I was afraid?" she said, recalling an old, old memory.

The boy's eyes got big; he wanted to know.

"He used to sing to me," Katniss said fondly. "He had such a beautiful voice. It always made me feel safe and warm."

The little boy stared at her expectantly.

"Would you like me to sing to you?"

He took a few moments responding, like he wasn't quite sure if he could trust her, but he finally nodded slowly.

Katniss let her mind wander for a few moments, trying to recall one of the songs her father sang to her that made her feel better. Her first instinct was to sing the same song she sang Rue, but she couldn't make herself to that. That song was too tinted with sadness. Instead, she settled on "The Miner's Song," a song about the workers finding power and strength. She hoped it would help the little boy to as well.

No, you won't remember

My name in the morn

As I walk to the old mines

To the job I was born.

No, you won't remember

My face when it's noon

As black as all others

From the seams I've hewn.

No, you won't remember

My voice in the eve'

Full of pain and of hunger

That I'll never leave.

No, you won't remember

My prayer at night

A whisper of wanting

A wish for what's right.

No, you won't remember

my death or my life,

'less I throw down my axes

and stand up to fight!

So I'll throw down my ax,

I'll take up the knife,

I'll come for you screaming,

My death or my life!

For I won't remember

And no difference there'll be

'less I come for you screaming:

"Now, you remember me!"

The song had many more verses, about remembering their hearts, breath, tears, sweat...But Katniss had noticed how many people were staring at her and felt uncomfortable, so she wrapped it up. She also realized that the miners in the song were saying how it didn't really matter if they lived or died, and suddenly wasn't as hopeful as she remembered it.

She'd always like how it had a slow, rolling sound in the first verses and then rose in repetitive clatter towards the end. She'd never been able to give the last verse justice. She didn't think she could sing beautifully and harshly at the same time, there wasn't that power to her voice, but her father did it so well. She wished she could take the sound from her memory and let it free in the world.

Now as she looked around at the wide-eyed faces surrounding her, she suddenly wondered what everyone was thinking. She gulped hard and squeezed the little boy's hand.

"Anyway," she said, "that song always reminded me that people could have power if they want to. Remember that, okay?"

The little boy nodded and Katniss smiled at him as she walked to the next row of children.

"Is Peeta with you?" A little girl asked as she went by.

Katniss turned, hurt clearly written across her face. She kneeled down to look the child right in the eye. "No, he's not."

"Why isn't he with you?"

"Because there are more important things than being Peeta right now," she said with a hollow smile.

"Like what?" the little girl asked. Clearly, she only knew Katniss as the girl in love with Peeta and not the revolutionary war hero.

"Like you," Katniss said in a genuinely bright tone, reaching out and playfully poking the little girl on the nose.

The child's face broke out into a big smile and the cameras caught it all. Cressida knew they were getting gold.

On the way out of the hospital, however, they had to seek cover as two Capitol jets flew over them.

"I don't think they saw us," Cressida told them, smiling and relieved.

Everyone else got up, brushed themselves off, and resumed their trek except for Gale.

"What is it?" Katniss asked, noticing how rigid he stood, eyes watching the planes shrink behind them.

"Nothing," he said, trying to shake the thought from his mind. But Katniss reached out to him, her eyes demanding an answer. "It's just…they're headed in the direction of the hospital."

No sooner had he said it than two loud explosions burst from where the hospital's location.

"No!" Katniss screamed, instincts telling her to run in that direction, but Gale grabbed her arm. "Gale, we have to…" she didn't know what they had to do, but she knew they had to do something.

But Gale's eyes remained steely, his grip on her strong, and he slowly shook his head. "There's nothing we can do, Catnip," he said, shaking his head softly.

"We can save them!"

"There's no one left to save but ourselves, now come on." He pushed her in the direction of their hovercraft.

"You don't know that!" Her eyes searched frantically to those of her team mates. Not a one responded to her.

"He's right, from the size of those smoke plumes..." Cressida let the sentence hang.

She wanted to kick, fight, scream at them for giving up so easily. If even only one child had survived in that rubble, one child they could help…

But before she could argue with them anymore, they heard the jets coming back.

"Shit," Cressida said, "They must know we're here. Run back to the ship!"

Gale put his arm around Katniss's waist and helped her forward. But when their hovercraft was just visible in the clearing ahead of them, bullets rained down from the jets. Two of the elite soldiers from Thirteen aimed with their distance rifles. But they failed to hit the jets who were coming in for another crossfire.

"Let me," Katniss said, pulling herself up, and seeing how bad their aim was. "How do you should this thing?" she asked as she took the weapon from the men.

They looked at her questioningly, but she didn't repeat herself as she positioned the gun on her shoulder and aimed it.

"Just, uh, hold down that button there and push down the level there," one said, his tone disbelieving.

Katniss didn't acknowledge him. She just narrowed her eyes on the jets as they came closer, took a deep breath, and fired.

The bullet tore into the side of one of the jets, causing it to spin and hit its partner.

Everyone hollered as they two machines tumbled to the ground. Katniss coolly handed the weapon back to its owner and began walking to their plane.

* * *

"That's just perfect," Plutarch said, admiring the films sent back to him. He spun around in his chair smiling to face Katniss and the team that accompanied her to Eight.

"That song, and then the exchange with the child, and that bit about Peeta, that's better than I could have written..." he said gleefully. But Katniss just stared at him stony eyed, not really interested in his praise. All she could think about where all the dead children she'd just seen and how her shoulder hurt from the gun's recoil.

"And look, that is the face of a true warrior!" Plutarch marveled as he watched the clip of her shooting down the plane. Her eyes were unflinching, fierce. "I can't believe how lucky we got to get you shooting down a jet!"

"Lucky?" Katniss wanted to kill him.

Plutarch turned and a confused look crossed his face. "Yes. You took down not only one but two jets, and we caught it on camera!" He was acting like he'd just won the lottery.

"Those jets destroyed a hospital."

"I'm aware." He turned back to the screen, swiping through the footage, and returning to his work. "It's too bad you didn't say something marvelous after you shot it down, but no matter, we'll be able to make something work. I think that song you sang might just do it… "Now, you remember me!" he sang, attempting to intonate her voice. "God, how do you do it?" He smiled at her, not seeming to notice her icy disposition.

Katniss was still dressed in her Mockingjay suit, she still had her weapon beside her, and she imagined loosing one arrow right between Plutarch's eyes.

"Dozens of people died today," she said, her voice low like a growl.

"I know," he said in a more serious tone, but to Katniss it sounded like mock sincerity, "and that is very sad…." Katniss didn't believe Plutarch believed that for a second. "But there's nothing we can do about that, so we might as well look on the bright side-

"The bright side?" her voice almost cracked.

"Their death's will help our cause," Cressida said.

Katniss's mouth dropped, disgusted. "Oh, so it's alright then?"

"Of course it's not alright, Katniss," Gale said, reaching for her hand, "that's why we're doing this."

She rolled her eyes, not wanting to concede the point. There was just no way her head could turn what happened into something _good_.

But Katniss knew it what happened wasn't Plutarch's fault, even though she hated him for celebrating it. She knew what happened was because of Snow, and she imagined putting an arrow through his head for the rest of the meeting.

Only when she noticed others moving did she realize it was time to go, so she pushed out her chair and headed for the door.

"Catnip, hey, will you wait," Gale called after her.

She stopped abruptly, looking down at her feet.

"Are you okay?" he asked, tucking his fingers under her chin and tilting up.

She didn't want to look him in the eye, knowing her tears would spill over if she did. "Of course I'm not okay."

"Look, I know today was rough…"

"But it helps our cause, I know," she said bitterly.

"Katniss…" he consoled.

"What? I don't need another lesson on how this helped us."

"Katniss," this time, Gale sounded hurt.

"Sorry. I just...I just told those people they were safe...That'd everything'd be okay…"

"It's not your fault, Katniss."

"I know. It's Snow's. And I want him to pay for what he did."

"He will," Gale said with a heavy tone that for the first time hinted his anger. "Beetee and I are…"

"No, Gale, you don't get it," she said, bringing her eyes to meet his fully, " _I_ want to make him pay. I want to kill him myself."

Gale nodded slowly, taking in Katniss's words, her anger. "Katniss," he began again.

"No Gale, I don't want you to calm me down and I don't want you to try and reason with me. I want to kill that man! He dropped bombs on a hospital full of injured children! Children I said would be safe!"

Her voice started to tremble, and Gale reached out to hold her, but she swatted him away.

"No, Gale! I don't want to be comforted!"

"I'm not trying to comfort you," he said, pulling her into his arms again. "I'm trying to support you."

 _Oh,_ Katniss thought, sinking into his strong arms, listening to his beating heart, and believing, at least in that moment, that everything would be okay.

* * *

Katniss's anger stuck with her the next few days, and was doubled when she got a notice from Thirteen's Office of Family Services telling her her applications for marriage had been rejected.

"Can you believe this?" she screamed at Gale as he walked in the door, throwing the letter in his face.

He'd come back to the room to change quickly to workout. He'd only barely passed the fitness test before going with Katniss to Eight, and he needed a higher score to keep working. He took a deep breath, not really having time, but looked at the paper.

"Hmmm," he said with a small frown as he read the document and realized what it was about.

"Hmm? That's all you have to say?"

"Well...I…" Gale didn't really have the energy or mental capacity for an immediate response. "They don't still think we're cousins, do they?" He said, sitting down and taking trying to find a reason the letter rejected them and remembering the questions about relations. He sat down on the bed and took off his boots.

"No. We checked the box!"

"Yeah, but if they thought we were lying…"

"Damn it, Gale, this doesn't even upset you, does it?"

"Hey," he said, frowning slightly. "Of course this upsets me. I just don't know what you want me to do about it right now. I've got to workout for an hour and then go back to the lab—"

"I don't want you to do anything about it, Gale!" Katniss snapped. "I can figure it out myself!"

"Okay, then what—"

"I just want you to be upset about it!"

"I'm upset," he said in a thoroughly unconvincing tone.

She glared at him. "Whatever, Gale," she said, snatching the sheet from his hands and marching towards the door.

"Katniss, will you—"

The door slammed shut before he could finish. Gale sighed heavily and fell back into the bed. Katniss had been in a foul mood since they'd returned from Eight. He understood, and he didn't take it personally, but that didn't mean he necessarily enjoyed or appreciated its effects.

After taking a few moments to himself, Gale forced himself up, changed, and when to the gym to train while Katniss hunted down those responsible for rejecting her application.

She stood in line at the Office of Family Services for nearly 45 minutes before being told by the attendant that her application had been pulled and all information regarding it restricted.

"How? Why?" she demanded.

"Restricted means I don't have access to any of that information," the woman was beginning to get annoyed. But not nearly as annoyed as Katniss.

"Well, can you tell me who did it then?"

The woman typed again. "I'm sorry, that's—"

"Restricted, I know," Katniss huffed. She grabbed the letter she'd received and marched out.

She didn't know what she was going to do, but she fully intended on doing something. As she marched out, the directory of Services offered at Thirteen caught her eye.

 _Now which of you has the power to restrict and withdraw things_ , she thought to herself. _Office of Security,_ she read, _yes, that's got to be it. If those idiots think they're making things more secure by denying me, well, they've got another thing coming..._ She thought to herself as she marched towards their office.

It took nearly three hours before Katniss was found someone who would discuss the matter with her. She'd yelled at three window attendants, four secretaries, and two officers before she got to speak with someone from the military.

She was explaining her situation to an absolutely befuddled Major who was convinced she was insane when a young woman knocked on his door.

"Miss Everdeen?"

"Yes?"

"Could you come with me please?"

"Good luck, dear," the old Major said with a polite nod.

 _Condescending jerk,_ Katniss thought to herself as she followed the woman into an office down the hall and met Plutarch Heavensbee sitting behind a desk.

"Ahh, Miss Everdeen, aren't you looking positively...global." He got up, eyes sticking on her stomach, to shake her hand.

Katniss barely responded.

"Cinna's suits certainly are absolutely marvelous. I'd no idea you were so round."

"What do you want, Plutarch?" Katniss had little patience left, and no kindness for him.

"It's what you want, my dear. I've gotten reports from three separate offices about a woman ranting about mockingjays and marriages."

"Yeah."

"Miss Everdeen, you must understand why you we can't approve your application for marriage."

"No."

"Katniss, you're in love with Peeta."

"No I'm not!"

"I know, but, the world believes you're in love with Peeta."

"So?"

"So, it's hard to believe you're in love with Peeta if you're married to another man."

"I'm having another man's baby!"

"Yes," Plutarch said with a deep sigh that could be best described as restrained disapproval. "But there's nothing we can do about that, so..."

"I'm going to marry Gale!"

"Not while you're the face of the rebellion, you aren't."

"I refuse to accept that!"

"Well, that's your business…"

"No, I want to petition, or appeal or something."

"If you feel you must," Plutarch didn't even look up at her as he spoke, looking over documents on his desk. "But all those will just be rejected too," he said, looking up with a smile he thought was caring. Katniss didn't think it was.

She narrowed her eyes, looking at Plutarch the way she looked at her prey. She refused to accept this and was searching for some way around it.

"And honestly, Miss Everdeen," Plutarch said, looking back down at the papers on his desk, "I'm sure there's something more productive you can be doing with your time."

Katniss felt like she'd been opened up and her anger suddenly dropped out. Plutarch's words burned a hole right through her—and she realized that she did not, in fact, have anything better to do. She didn't have anything to do at all now.

Katniss opened her mouth to say something, but no words came to her.

"Because, I certainly have important work to be doing…" Plutarch said after staring at her in silence for a few minutes.

"Oh, don't let me keep you from your commercials," she said in what was intended to be a much harsher insult than it was, storming out of his office and back to her room.

* * *

Katniss's anger and boredom turned in on one another and fueled her farther. She hated Plutarch, and she wanted to kill him almost as badly as she wanted to kill Snow. She paced her room for an hour before deciding that she had to go do something before she went insane, so she did the only thing she could and went and had dinner with her mother and sister—and she was even angry about that.

She waited up for Gale when she got back, and she wasn't sure if she was worried or angry when he didn't come home on time.

He'd been working through dinner since they'd returned from Eight, but it was already past ten o'clock, and he still wasn't back.

When he finally walked in the door, he jumped, surprised to see Katniss still up.

"Oh, jeez, Catnip, you startled me," he said with a soft smile. "I thought you'd be asleep."

"No," she said, her tone was sharp, and Gale prepared himself for another one of her moods.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, Gale." She watched as he stripped off his clothes. "Are you?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes," he said with a light laugh, "I know what time it is. Are you upset because I'm home late?"

She didn't answer.

"Katniss, I was working."

"I know you were working," Katniss said, trying to figure out what was upsetting her so much. It wasn't that she didn't trust Gale, or even that she missed him, though she did, but she realized she was upset because he had work to do and she didn't. Plutarch's words came rushing back to her:

_Surely, you have something better to do._

"I was just…never mind, I'm sure you're tired." Katniss lay herself down and switched off the light.

Gale took a deep breath. He was exhausted, both his body and his mind, and part of him really wanted to just let Katniss be and get some sleep, but he couldn't let himself do that.

He flipped back on the light. "Catnip…"

She turned over so her back was facing him. Gale sat down on the bed next to her and softly stroked her skin, rubbing her back slightly.

"Did something happen today?"

Katniss didn't respond, focusing on keeping all her emotions down. But Gale gently rocked her. "No, Gale, nothing happened today and that's…"

And Katniss lost it. Her emotions overswept her, and all her problems came tumbling out. Out she there was nothing she could do, how everything she'd done was wrong, everything she would do was wrong…

Gale eventually managed to pull her into his lap and hold her.

"And I'm just here, alone, all by myself, and there's nothing I can do. And you're gone because there's too much for you to do…"

Gale felt bad. He could sympathize too easily with his recent stay in the hospital, and he felt guilty it'd never crossed his mind that Katniss might be feeling the same way. He'd assumed that with her pregnancy, she'd be happy to have little to do. But he realized that wasn't Katniss. She always needed to do something, to help people, and nothing was going to change that.

When she calmed down, they talked about possible jobs she could do and agreed to look into it tomorrow.

As they said goodnight to each other and Gale pulled her into his arms, she realized she hadn't even got to telling him about Plutarch or why their marriage application was rejected, but since she was calm and he was ready to go to sleep, she decided to leave that until another day.

* * *

Katniss's mom was able to get her a job in the clinic with her and Prim, but it did little to ease Katniss's boredom. Since she didn't want to work with patients, she was tasked with checking the doctor's notes that the computers couldn't decipher.

Katniss had little patience for it, and hated sitting behind a desk, trying to read the doctor's impossible script, and trying it into a database. After the first few hours, she'd stopped trying to figure it out and just accepted whatever the software suggested.

"Patient complained that their hand was camping," a stern nurse read back to her, unhappy with her work. "You're telling me that what you honestly thought it said?"

"Yes." Katniss avoided her eyes.

"What did you think the patient meant when they complained their hand was camping?"

"I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I didn't think that was my job."

"It didn't occur to you that they probably meant _cramping_?"

Katniss shook her head and the woman rolled her eyes.

"What about this. 'Child has a running noose?'"

Katniss shook her head again.

"A broken table?"

Another shake.

"From now on, Miss Everdeen, please use a bit of common sense. People don't come here when they're tables are broken, but when their _tibias_ are. And children don't have running nooses but _noses."_

"Okay."

"Good. Because if you can't do this job, we'll have to find something else for you, like scrubbing bed pans."

Katniss scowled at the woman as she walked away and then at the next illegible doctor's script. As she tried to decipher the next note, a messenger came requesting her presence.

She was so eager to get away from her job, she didn't even think to ask where they were going, and jumped to leave, so it was only as they were walking to their destination that she realized that she was probably going to see Plutarch and that this had something to do with the Mockingjay.

She hoped everything was going well for the Rebellion as she entered the conference room. Coin, Beetee, Gale, Plutarch, Cinna, Cressida, and her assistant were all present.

"Ahh, Katniss, lovely," Plutarch said, getting up as entered. "Now that we're all here, I'm excited to show you all what we've been working on for the past few days."

Katniss felt her heart clench, she didn't want to remember the incident. She closed her eyes as Plutarch dimmed the lights, and she stomach somersaulted when she heard children's voices call her name:

_Look! The Mockingjay!_

_Really! It's her!_

_She's here to save us!_

Katniss thought she might get sick as heard a soft music start up. It carried the tune of the Miner's Song, but instead of hearing her voice sing, she heard that of several children.

Katniss was so surprised, she opened her eyes.

On the screen before her, Plutarch had patched together a montage of children from throughout Panem. Children working in the fields of Eleven, in the factories of Eight, in the fisheries of Four. Children heading to the Reaping, children dying the the Games. As the images flashed before her, their voices sang a modified version of the Miner's Song. But instead of singing "No, you won't remember," they asked, "Will you remember…" And their voices were somehow sad and hopeful at the same time as they sang about working in the various districts.

The end showed another image of Katniss with the children. Their voices blended into hers, and she sang the final line, which they'd slightly altered to, "Now, you remember us."

As the clip ended, Katniss felt tears coming to her eyes. She looked up at Plutarch as the lights came back on, and she quickly had to check herself to make sure she wasn't tearing up. The piece was powerful, moving, beautiful even. She suddenly saw him in a new light.

Everyone was speechless, and Plutarch had a satisfied look on his face.

"We're releasing that piece in One, Two, Three and Five, hoping to motivate the more comfortable citizens into action," Plutarch said. "Justice and duty haven't convinced them to join us yet, so I figured guilt just might do the trick."

Katniss couldn't help herself; she smiled. Everyone else in the room nodded, clearly impressed.

"And, this is what we'll be using to motivate the troops." Plutarch clicked a switch and the lights dimmed again.

This piece showed her and others fighting, and Katniss was almost positive they'd used a body double for her in a few parts. It was exciting and exhilarating, and ended with Katniss shooting down the two jets, saying, "Now, you remember me." But it didn't sound like she was singing, instead, it sounded like a threat, and it played as the camera zoomed in on her fierce and unforgiving face after she'd shot down the planes.

Plutarch turned on the lights to reveal a room full of impressed faces. Even Katniss's. She knew this was all camera tricks and scripts, but she felt ready to grab a weapon and go fight wherever after seeing it.

"We'll be showing that in all the districts, but especially the ones already rebelling, hoping it gives them a bit of an edge," Plutarch said, trying to sound humble.

"Very impressive work," Coin said, and everybody nodded. "Thank you."

"Just doing my part, ma'am," he said, "like we all are."

Katniss wasn't certain, but she was pretty sure he was staring at her when he said that.

Katniss decided not to go back to work as the meeting finished and asked Gale if he'd go to dinner with her.

"Come on, Gale, you haven't eaten with me all week."

"I know, I'm sorry, but we're running simulations for Three."

Gale and Beetee had been running computer models of fighting strategies trying to figure out what would help the rebels. It turned out Gale was surprisingly good at figuring out the Capitol's tactics and coming up with ways to out maneuver them.

"Fine," she said unhappily, "and I guess you probably won't be back before I go to sleep either?"

His eyes were an apology.

"Fine," she said even more unhappily, "but remember, tomorrow's my doctor's appointment and I want you to be there."

"Of course." Gale had actually completely forgotten about this.

"You said you'd be there."

"I will, I promise," he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. He knew he'd been working too much recently, but he wasn't going to miss this.

* * *

Katniss checked the time as she sat in the waiting room for her doctor's appointment. She still had twenty minutes till her appointment. She'd been hoping that Gale would arrive early, but kept reminding herself to be patient.

She also had to remind herself to stay calm, but she couldn't deny that she was excited. This was the first thing that'd put her in a good mood in days, and she was especially looking forward to seeing the baby on the sonogram with Gale. Katniss fondly cradled her stomach, thinking encouraging words to her baby, when a nurse called her name and broke her from her reverie.

"Miss Everdeen?"

"Yeah," Katniss got up.

"This way please."

Katniss shot a look down the hall, hoping to see Gale, but didn't and followed the nurse into the examination room.

"How are you feeling today?" the woman asked with a kind smile. This woman – Nurse Branch – was a definite upgrade from her last one. Katniss shuddered remembering the icy Nurse Stone.

"I'm feeling pretty good."

"Great, let's get you changed into your dressing gown, and then we'll weight you and take your vitals before Dr. Bloom comes in for the examination."

"Okay," Katniss complied, also excited about seeing Dr. Bloom again.

"Hmm, have you been eating well?" Nurse Branch asked as Katniss stepped off the scale.

"Yeah, I mean, I eat whatever they give me."

"Do you know if you've lost any weight since we started rations?"

"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'm only getting bigger."

The lady smiled. "Well, you're still a bit underweight than we'd like. Ideally, you'd be gaining a pound a week at this point in your pregnancy, and you've only gained three since your last check up."

 _Really?_ Katniss wondered. She felt like she'd gained ten.

"And you were a bit underweight when you got here, so I'll just make a note of it for Dr. Bloom. She can write a prescription for more food."

"Okay," Katniss said, feeling like she'd done something wrong.

"Don't worry," the nurse said comfortingly. "It's just that now that you're entering your final trimester, it's really time to start packing on the pounds."

Katniss gulped and looked at her stomach. Her belly was a perfectly manageable size right now, though it wasn't small, it wasn't overly or cumbersomely large. She honestly couldn't imagine getting any bigger.

"Take a deep breath in for me," the woman asked and proceeded to check the rest of Katniss's vitals. "Great," she said, finishing and scrawling notes on her clipboard, "everything looks and sounds good. If you just want to follow me into the room across the hall, Dr. Bloom will be with your shortly."

Katniss hopped up on the table in the room and smiled as the nurse set her clothes on a chair and shut the door.

Katniss drummed her fingernails on the chair wondering where Gale was when the door opened, startling her slightly.

A man entered the room, adjusting the doctor's coat. "Ahh, Katniss…"

"Yes," she said with a suspicious voice. She didn't know who this man was, but the only people she wanted to see were Gale and Dr. Bloom. "Where's Dr. Bloom?"

"I'll be taking care of you today, she's indisposed."

"But I want to see Dr. Bloom. I saw her last time."

"Well, you'll be seeing me today."

"Can't I wait for her?"

"No," he said, starting to sound annoyed. He reminded Katniss of Nurse Stone from her first visit. "I'm afraid not. Now up on the table, let's get started," he said, snapping a latex glove on his wrist.

. . .

Gale cursed as he saw the time. He and Beetee had been so absorbed in their work that he'd forgotten the time.

"Shit, I've got to go."

"Oh? Oh, yes," Beetee said, remembering. "You're quite right, don't want to be late."

"Yeah," Gale looked at his watch. He was already five minutes late. "I'll be back," he said as he walked to the door, "in an hour or two probably."

Beetee still had his nose to the computer screen. "Take your time," he said without looking up as he typed into his machine.

Gale broke out into a jog once he hit the hall, cursing himself for forgetting the time and muttering apologies as he pushed past the people of Thirteen. The elevator he took seemed to stop at every floor, and Gale considered jumping out and taking the stairs as people shuffled in and out.

Tapping his foot impatiently, the elevator finally arrived at his floor, and Gale sprinted out down the hall to the doctor's area, asked what room Katniss was in. He was almost fifteen minutes late now, and he was thinking up his apology as he rushed to find her door.

. . .

"Up on the table now," the man said. He flashed a smile that Katniss could tell was forced. If he meant it to be comforting, it wasn't.

Katniss was almost happy Gale wasn't with her; she wasn't sure she wanted him around while another man did her examination.

"Feet up, now."

Katniss complied, putting her feet in the stirrups and lay down on the table. She closed her eyes, and waited for the man to begin, waited for him to say something, but he did neither. After a few moments passed, Katniss opened her eyes about to ask the man what he was doing.

She was shocked to see him holding a large needle. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing to worry about," he said, taking her arm. Her skin crawled as he touched her.

But Katniss knew he was wrong. Everything about this was wrong, from the moment he'd walked into the door adjusting what she now realized was a too small doctor's coat that clearly wasn't his, to the needle he was holding now.

He flashed his smile again, and Katniss's stomach flipped in disgust. She could not trust this man.

She jerked her arm away, but he held on tightly, twisting it in pain, and dispensing with any more pretense.

"President Snow sends his regards."

Katniss grabbed the metal medical tray on the other side of the table and slammed it into the man's head.

"Bitch!" he screamed, wielding the needle like a knife now and plunging it towards her.

Katniss threw up her arms to shield her face, and the point sliced across her arm and into one hand.

Katniss tried to jump out of the bed, but she struggled to get her feet out of the stirrups. The man grabbed her again, but she managed to kick him with her free foot, shoving him a few feet back.

He laughed. "I was going to take you out the easy way, but now I think I'll have a little bit of fun," he said, tossing the needle to the ground, spitting blood from his mouth, and lunging for her.

Katniss pulled her other foot free and rolled to the floor, falling hard on her knees, on the other side of the table.

On the floor, she saw Dr. Bloom's eyes were staring straight into hers. Her body had been stuffed under the table, and Katniss suddenly realized this man had killed her to get to her.

Her horror paralyzed her for a moment too long, and the man grabbed her by her neck and started to pull her up.

Katniss turned over, struggling to get away.

"You…you killed her!"

"Yeah, and I'm going to kill you too." For the first time, he flashed a real smile. He was enjoying this.

She tried to kick him again, but didn't have as good of an angle this time, and he was able grab her foot and twisted it cruelly.

Katniss cried out in pain.

And then, Gale opened the door.

His instincts overtook his shock and he immediately lunged at the man, pulling him off of Katniss and throwing him into the wall.

The man had gotten a few good hits on Gale, but Gale'd overtaken him and was straddling him, his hands tightening around his neck. The assassin clawed at Gale's hands, but he was no match for Gale's strength, and as he lost oxygen, his limbs began to shake and his eyes bulged. He looked at Katniss with the same eyes she'd seen on Dr. Bloom, and it horrified her.

"Gale!" Katniss screamed, wanting him to stop. "Gale!"

Gale didn't know how many times she'd said his name, but her sound of panic finally caught his attention.

"Stop! You're going to kill him! Stop!"

Gale wanted to tell her that was the point, but when he saw the horror on her face, he stopped realizing she couldn't bear it. His hands held onto the man's neck for a moment longer than his brain wanted them too, still ruled by his instinct to kill, but Gale finally let go and smashed the man in the temple in the way he'd been taught to in training to knock him unconscious.

Gale immediately flew to Katniss. She was holding on to the examination table, barely keeping herself up, trembling badly. Her arm was bleeding from the needle's slice as were her knees from landing on the spilled medical instruments on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Gale grabbed her, "are you okay?"

Katniss didn't react, unable to make herself stop looking at the man's figure on the floor. Gale finally had to take her face in his hands and make her look at him.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded.

Gale pulled her to his chest and immediately sent an emergency signal through his communicuff, glad he'd remembered all the codes from his training.

As soon as he'd done that, the put Katniss on the table and grabbed some paper towels, starting to tend her wounds.

He asked her several questions, none of which she registered.

"He killed her," she finally said.

Gale wasn't particularly interested in who else the man had killed, and he asked her again what'd happened. "Did he…did he touch you anywhere else?" he said with venom in his voice, wanting to know where the man had touched her and what he'd done to her.

"He killed her Gale," Katniss sobbed.

"Alright," he said softly, taking Katniss into his arms, "it's okay."

"No, he killed here. Just because she was helping me. And now she's dead!"

"It's okay," Gale said, holding her tightly as if it'd make her believe it, "everything'll be okay."


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys,   
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting! We're almost at the end, so I hope you're enjoying this crazy ride. 
> 
> Kindly,   
> CG

Soldiers, medics, and crime scene investigators quickly came to the room after Gale'd sent the emergency message. The man, still unconscious, was cuffed and taken away and a man named Commander Gray questioned Gale and Katniss about the incident while others swabbed for evidence and took photographs.

"Did he say anything to you, Soldier Hawthorne?"

"No sir. When I came in, he was attacking Katniss. I immediately pulled him off of her. He swung at me, but I was able to get him in a choke hold and then knocked him out."

Commander Gray nodded, impressed. "Thank you, Hawthorne. Now, Miss Everdeen, can you please tell us everything you can remember about the attack?"

Katniss's eyes hadn't left the space on the floor where his body had lain, but they shot up when the man questioned her.

"About the attack?" She didn't understand. "Why do you care that he attacked me? He killed another person! That's what's important here!"

"Hey, Catnip," Gale tried to calm her, but Katniss ignored him.

"You think it matters that he touched me? A woman is dead…all because…all because…"

Gale wrapped his arm around her again.

"Ma'am," Commander Gray said, "it isn't your fault that woman is dead. And we do care about her, and we want to do what's right. That's why we need to question you. So we can understand why this happened. Did this man say anything to you, anything at all that might help us understand—"

"Snow sent him."

Everyone in the room stopped and looked at her.

"President Snow?" the Commander asked.

"Yes," she said, "he sent him to kill me."

"The man told you that?"

"Yes."

"Directly?"

"Yes," Katniss said, starting to get annoyed.

The Commander immediately barked something into his communicuff and everyone in the room reacted. Katniss's eyes were wide, not understanding at all what was going on, but Gale held her extra tight.

"Alright, follow me," the Commander said after a few minutes of exchanging details to his superiors. "We're taking you to a safe room."

"What? Why? What's going on?"

"Katniss," Gale told her with heavy eyes. "If Snow sent that man, that means…that means he knows we're here."

And Katniss suddenly realized: That meant Snow knew about Thirteen.

Gale and Katniss were led to a new room in a deeply secure part of Thirteen. A guard was stationed outside their door, Katniss's mother was sent for to check on her—she was the only person Gale trusted at the moment—and the rest of Thirteen's security forces went into overdrive.

Coin, Pierce and several others held an emergency meeting to try to assess their threat. While Anise cleaned her daughter's wounds and gave her tea with lots of sedatives, Coin and her council decided they couldn't risk the Capitol getting the upper hand on them and decided to preemptively attack. After only two hours of discussion, it was decided that Thirteen would send its forces to Five and Three to try and create a unified, independent block from Four to Thirteen.

And as Gale held Katniss, his fingers lightly tracing over the bruises forming on her arms and neck, Thirteen also learned that the assassin slipped in with all the refugees that had entered from Seven and Eight, so Coin decided to lockdown everyone who wasn't a native. All the refugees were required to report to an appointed officer and had to await screening to be approved and readmitted into the general population.

Gale held Katniss uncomfortably tight that night, but she didn't mind, and let herself take comfort and safety from his strong arms, reassurance from his steady breath, love from his beating heart, because she knew tomorrow, she was going to make Snow pay for what he'd done, the eyes of Dr. Bloom still haunting her. She wasn't sure how yet, but as Gale held her that night, she promised herself she would.

The next morning, Gale insisted that Katniss go to the lab with him and Beetee.

"I don't need a babysitter."

"I'm not leaving you, Katniss."

"Well, I'm not going to just sit and watch you work all day. I've got other stuff to do!"

"Like what?"

Katniss glared at him, but didn't know what to say. She didn't know what she was going that day, but she knew she was making Snow pay. Somehow…

"Alright then," Gale said, taking her silence as compliance, "you're coming to the lab with me."

"No, I'm not!"

"Katniss," Gale said with a heavy breath. His eyes lingered on the dark purple bruise that looped her neck, the bandages on her hands. She didn't like him looking there.

"Stop," she said, uncomfortable with any sign of her weakness. "I've got..." She wanted to say, _to figure out a way to kill President Snow_ , but she knew Gale wouldn't react well to that. Katniss was beginning to think that she should just go with Gale, appease him, and then sneak out saying she had to use the bathroom and figure it out from there when…

Someone knocked on the door.

Gale answered it and a uniformed soldier stood at attention. "Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yeah?"

"Come with me please."

"Where?" Gale immediately asked.

"Who are you?"

"Soldier Gale Hawthorne," Gale said importantly.

The man checked the screen of the small device he was carrying. "You're not authorized to come with us."

"What?" Gale temper piqued; but this soldier was a professional, he wasn't intimidated. "She's not going with you unless I—"

"Yes she is," the man said solidly. "Miss Everdeen," he repeated in a tone that said it'd be the last time.

"Where?" she asked, she didn't want to be bossed around by this man either.

"To see the President."

Katniss nodded. She knew that was a meeting she couldn't refuse. And she was honestly interested in learning what Thirteen was planning.

Katniss leaned in to kiss Gale goodbye as she grabbed her jacket. His body was rigid and she could feel the anger radiating off of him. She tried to catch his eye, look at him sweetly.

But Gale's eyes were focused on the bruise he could see around her neck, thinking only about how he couldn't stop someone from hurting her if he wasn't with her, how he didn't even know who could hurt her unless he was with her.

Katniss squeezed his hand, telling him it'd be okay, but when he didn't react, she just gave up.

_Fine, be that way_ , she thought, turning to head out the door.

Gale's eyes burned as he watched her walk away, angry he could do nothing about it, angry she didn't seem to want him to.

_What the hell is she thinking_! he cursed to himself, alone in the room. _Did she learn nothing from yesterday about just blindly following strangers!_

When Gale calmed down, he reminded himself to trust the soldiers at Thirteen and Katniss. She was the strongest and most competent women he knew; though even as he said it, all he could think of were the black bruises snaking around her neck.

Gale got ready to head to Beetee's lab, but as he walked through the halls, he was stopped by an officer. The man demanded that he show his identification, and when he realized Gale wasn't from Thirteen, he forced him to enter the holding area. Gale was slightly shocked to see the hundreds of people crammed into lines, men arguing with officers, women hold crying children.

Gale stood in line for three hours before he was finally cleared, and had to stand in another for an extra two to make sure his and Katniss's families had also been cleared. He cursed as he made his way to Beetee's lab. There, he learned about the attack that Thirteen begun the night before and their screening policy for all non-natives, and as much as it aggravated him to have to wait in line, he approved of the added security measure.

* * *

Katniss didn't learn about this screening policy because she'd been passed through it. Beetee, Plutarch, and Cinna were the only other non-natives that were allowed to be waved through.

She was brought to a conference room where she met with President Coin.

Coin was sitting in a chair getting makeup applied to her face. She looked incredibly tired, having not slept at all the night before, and was preparing to go live and make a statement to all of Panem.

"Katniss," Coin said, getting up extending her hand. "I'm so sorry about what happened. It's my job to protect my people, and yesterday, I failed. I want you to know that I'm doing everything I can now to make that right."

"Make it right?" Katniss snapped, "she's dead. You can't fix that."

"I wasn't just talking about Dr. Bloom, Katniss," Coin said, composing herself again, "I was also talking about you."

_Oh_ , Katniss thought. She'd never considered herself _one of Coin's people_. And she wasn't sure how she felt about it. But as she looked in Coin's eyes, she knew this woman meant what she said.

Katniss still wasn't sure if she liked Coin, but, in that moment, she felt she could trust her.

"Oh, thanks, but I don't need your help."

"I've noticed that," Coin said, almost respectfully, "I actually need yours. That's why I've asked you here today."

Coin explained to Katniss how Thirteen had entered the rebellion the night before.

"Reports are still coming in, but our initial progress is good," Coin explained. "I'm going to address the nation today," Coin said. And Katniss realized why she was getting her hair and makeup done. "And I want you to stand with me."

Katniss was only vaguely aware of what this meant-that the Mockingjay, the figure of hope and power for the rebellion was supporting President Coin.

"It's going to mean a lot, if I support you."

"Yes," Coin admitted begrudgingly. All of Panem knew and loved Katniss and didn't know a thing about her. She needed Katniss's endorsement.

While there was a whole host of implications she should have thought about, Katniss only cared about one thing.

"Will we be able to stop Snow?"

A faint smile flickers on Coin's lips. "Yes."

"Alright then," Katniss said, pretty sure this was the only information she needed. "I'll help you, but I want him to pay for what he's done."

Coin met Katniss's eyes severely. "He will, Miss Everdeen, he will. But if you want to kill him, you're going to have to get in line."

Katniss still wasn't sure what she thought about Coin, but she smiled when she said that.

Katniss suited up as the Mockingjay and stood to Coin's right as she addressed the nation. Coin'd clearly practiced Plutarch's well-written speech, speaking emphatically, rousingly, assuring all the people of Panem that Thirteen was coming to help them fight Snow's injustice, all the while Katniss just stared into the camera ahead of her, eyes burning, promising revenge.

"Thank you for your support today," Coin said, extending her hand to Katniss's shoulder when they finished.

Katniss met her eyes and nodded. She felt strangely relieved, even though Coin's speech meant that war was a reality now, it also somehow made it official—they were no longer a ragtag group of rebels. No longer playing games. Snow could no longer win.

Plutarch told Katniss that her presence was no longer needed, so she decided to go visit Gale, knowing Beetee's lab was nearby, and feeling sorry for how she'd left him that morning. She knew Gale just wanted to protect her, and she couldn't imagine how scared the attack yesterday made him feel.

When Katniss entered the room, Gale and Beetee were hunched over one of the computers watching a war scenario play out. Katniss opened her mouth to say hello when a bright flash appeared on the screen and several figures suddenly dropped. Katniss realized they were dead.

"That only shows a 36% kill rate," Gale said in a disappointed voice.

"What if we wait another 30 seconds before detonating?"

"Then some of the first to arrive will get away by that time. I don't think our numbers will change too much."

Beetee punched something into the computer. A few seconds passed. There was another flash and more dropping.

"Hmmm," Beetee frowned, "Only 28%..."

"We need something that will detonate much later. Once they've brought it back to the camp. That's our best chance at taking out the largest numbers, and those in charge. The bomb will have to be disguised as Capitol dropped supplies, food or medicine maybe. Now we just need to figure out what will take out the most soldiers. Maybe during dinner time, or while they're asleep…"

Beetee nodded solemnly, taking his chin in his hand. "That could work..."

"No!" Katniss said, horrified and startling both men, who didn't know she was there.

"Katniss," Gale said, but his look of surprise quickly changed to concern. "Why are you in the Mockingjay suit?" Anger immediately flared inside Gale, worried she'd agreed to do something dangerous.

"How can you even—" Katniss began to sputter, annoyed that was the first thing Gale said.

The strange reassurance she felt from standing next to Coin slipped away from her. War was supposed to be orderly, controlled. Men and women who signed up fighting on a battlefield…not dying helpless in their sleep. Katniss couldn't believe what she'd just seen.

"You and Beetee were just talking about killing people in their sleep, and you ask me about my suit!?"

"Katniss, we're at war."

"This isn't war, Gale! This is murder! This is…" This was the Games, she thought. "It's wrong."

"Now, Miss Everdeen," Beetee tried to interject, but Katniss wouldn't listen.

She felt sick to her stomach, and even though the little figures on the screen looked like lowercase i's instead of humans, she couldn't help but feel as if she'd just watched dozens of lives end. And she felt responsible.

"No, Beetee. This, what you two are doing, it's wrong. It's not war and it's not right. It's something that Snow would do, not us."

Gale and Beetee shifted uncomfortably for a second, and a shadow passed in their eyes.

It was Gale who finally spoke. "Then how are we supposed to beat him?"

"What?"

"How do you want to beat him, Katniss?" Gale said with genuine concern, "how do you think we can beat him if we don't," Gale swung his hands open widely, "if we don't follow his rules?"

"What's the point of beating him if we do?" Katniss fired back, and both Gale and Beetee looked legitimately hurt. "If we have to be like him to win? Then tell me what the point is."

Neither of them had a response. Katniss glared at them for a moment longer and then stormed out, not wanting to hear anymore either of them had to say.

She went back to her room to shower and change, and then had lunch with her mother, which was a needed distraction from her anger at what she'd seen in Beetee's lab.

It was at lunch that Katniss first learned about the non-native screenings.

"What?" she said, completely shocked. "Nobody said anything to me!"

"Well, dear," her mother said, wondering why anyone would have told Katniss.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. And anyways, Gale came to make sure your sister and I got through."

Katniss felt a pang in her heart. Of course Gale would do this—take care of her family. Even though she still deeply disagreed with him, she hoped she hadn't said anything too harsh to him earlier. She wasn't exactly looking forward to the discussion she knew they would have when he got home from the lab, but she knew they needed to have it.

"And, since Prim and I have been working here so long, it was easy to get people to vouch for us. What all the people who've recently arrived will do, I don't know…"

Katniss sighed heavily and spooned the beans around on her plate.

Anise noticed her daughter's agitation and waited to see if she'd say anything, and when she didn't, she decided to change the subject.

"Do you plan on going back to work?"

Katniss sighed again and rolled her eyes. She hated working at the hospital.

"That's what I thought," Anise said with a small smile as she spooned the rest of her beans onto her daughter's plate. "It's probably best you don't work in your third trimester anyway. I'll write you a medical leave of absence."

Katniss looked up at her mother gratefully and finished her meal.

She went back to her room and waited for Gale to return, thinking about what she wanted to tell him but more what she wanted to hear from him. It didn't exactly frighten her, hearing about his and Beetee's plan, but she was worried about how far they'd go. She well remembered his long rants in the woods, how his eyes kept stopping at the bruises on her neck. Gale'd do whatever he had to to stop the Capitol, but she had to believe there were ways to stop Snow without stooping to his level. She just hoped Gale believed this too.

Katniss found herself staring at the door as the hours passed. At first, she was happy for the time and space, it gave her room to figure out what she was thinking, what she wanted to say. Then, she grew hopeful for Gale's return. She wanted to speak to him, hash out her ideas against his, come to some sort or agreement, or at least understanding. But as the hours continued to pass and she began to grow hungry for dinner, she grew upset Gale hadn't returned. _Didn't he know they needed to talk? Didn't he care?_

Her communicuff beeped, signaling mealtime, and Katniss angrily headed to dinner. She snapped at the guard, who was still stationed outside her door and ordered to follow her, wanting to be alone. No matter how many curses she threw at him, he remained firm, and escorted her to the cafeteria.

Katniss rudely grabbed her food from the attendants, and purposefully sat as far away as she could in the corner to eat her meal of tomato and chicken stew and bread.

She was about halfway through with her meal when Gale found her.

"There you are," he said, taking his seat. "I was looking everywhere for you."

"You wouldn't have had to if you'd been home before dinner." Katniss didn't look up from her plate.

Gale eyed her and took a deep breath. He knew it'd be too much to ask for her to be in a good mood.

"Katniss," he began, but her stormy eyes shot up and silenced him.

"Don't, Gale."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I don't want to hear you justify what you were doing today."

"I wasn't doing anything. We were just talking about it."

"So? The fact that you were even thinking it-"

"Is how you win a war, Katniss, Christ, what did you think war was?"

"It's not killing people while they sleep."

"People die in war, Katniss. Anyone who signs up for the job knows that..."

"I know, Gale, I know people have to die…"

"You think it really matters how they die then?"

"I think it matters how we kill them."

Gale stopped and considered her point. He'd never really thought about it this way before. "That's valid," he finally said.

"But?" She knew there was a but. He couldn't disagree with her, but that didn't mean he agreed with her.

"But, Beetee and I were trying to figure out a way to take out soldiers, Katniss, not sleeping civilians. And better to kill them when they don't have a very good chance of killing our men at the same time."

Katniss listened and nodded.

"And I'm not going to wait to kill them until they've got a fair chance of killing me. Or anyone else, for that matter." His eyes never left the bruise around her neck as he said this. Katniss was beginning to think it hurt Gale more than her.

Katniss looked Gale in the eye. She knew he meant this, and she knew he'd do anything he had to do to win. She just didn't think he knew what it'd cost him. She remembered how going into the Games changed her, how killing changed her. And no matter how many times she tried to tell herself it was self-defense and not her fault, that still didn't stop her nightmares and the nagging feeling of guilt.

She told Gale this and leaned in to kiss him. "There has to be a line, Gale."

"There is," Gale promised.

"It's just, someone tried to kill me yesterday," she said, almost off handedly.

"I know," Gale's voice suddenly grew more serious.

"And that probably makes you angry."

"Yeah," Gale said, fire rumbling in his voice.

"I just don't want you to do anything…"

"Out of anger?"

"That you'll regret," she clarified, taking his face in her hands.

"I won't," Gale said with a confidence she wondered how he possessed.

"Gale, you can't let them change you."

Gale's look suddenly softened, and he folded her hands in his, finally seeing her point. "They won't," he assured, but Katniss looked unconvinced. Gale reached out for her hand and took it softly in his, rubbing her fingers slightly. "There is."

Katniss looked into his eyes, eyes she knew better than her own, better than her mother's and sister's too, perhaps. Eyes that somehow always seemed to see things clearly, that had always watched her back, eyes that she trusted.

And she still trusted them now.

Gale leaned into kiss her forehead, his touch as gently as the wings of a moth, and Katniss twined her fingers.

"You know I don't want anyone to die, Katniss."

She turned to look back up at him, uncertain where he was going with this.

"I know," she said, her tone not entirely convincing.

"But people are going to have to die. Snow decided that. The Capitol…"

His voice quivered slightly as he said it, so slightly that only because Katniss knew him so well did she notice, and she squeezed his hand, knowing how rare it was for Gale's emotions to get the better of him.

"Since people have to die, I'm going to make sure as few die as possible."

"I know."

"From our side and theirs."

This actually surprised Katniss a little. She knew Gale wasn't a callous monster, wanting to kill as many Capitol citizens as possible. But she was a little shocked to hear that he was actively trying to kill as few of them as possible. She squeezed his hand again and smiled, bringing his fingers to her lips to kiss. It took Gale a moment, but he smiled back and the two fell into easy conversation.

"Hey, look at that baby," Katniss told Gale, gesturing to the kid at the table behind him. A woman there had put her child on her lap, and he was now peering back at Katniss. She couldn't stop herself, she waved. The baby stared at her with big, curious eyes and then buried his face in his mother's shoulder.

Gale chuckled softly and smiled. "Don't steal it."

Katniss smiled, remembering what she told him the day before. "But he's so cute! Look at those chubby little cheeks and that curly blond hair!"

"Yeah," Gale said, less enthused about blond hair than she was.

"Do you think we could have a blonde baby?" she asked, fondly remembering how cute her sister was as a baby.

"We better not have a blonde baby," Gale said harshly, his disdain for the townspeople spilled out. Katniss turned to look at him, her smile completely gone from her face.

"Sorry," he said, registering her reaction and not meaning to offend her.

"It's just Prim was a blonde baby," she explained, realizing she'd struck a nerve.

"I know."

"It's not that I think we'll have a blonde baby."

"I know," he stressed again, feeling bad for his harsh remark.

"Unless I steal one," she said with a smile.

She finally got Gale to return it. He laughed slightly and shook his head.

"But you have to admit, they are kind of cute."

Gale just shook his head. "Ours will be cuter."

"Yeah," Katniss said, cradling her stomach and smiling.

Then, Gale's communicuff beeped.

Gale's eyes immediately shot down to it.

"What is it?"

"Umm...I don't...I need to go back to the lab."

"What?"

"Yeah," Gale said, getting up, eyes still glued to his cuff, "I have to go."

"Gale, we were just having a nice moment,"she said as he leaned down to kiss her on the head.

"Sorry. This is important."

"And this isn't?" she too quietly for Gale to hear as he walked away.

Katniss tried to tell herself that Gale had something really important to do, but she couldn't imagine what was so urgent, and it did little to lift her mood. When she'd clean both her and his plates, she went back to her room to stew.

She was pacing back and forth when someone knocked on the door. Her heart rose for a second, hoping to see Gale before she realized he had no reason to knock.

Prim and Torry stood outside her door. "Um, hey," Katniss said, surprised to see them.

"Hi Katniss. I need to ask a favor," Prim said. "Can you babysit for us?" Prim moved aside to reveal Torry's two little sisters, Bobbin and Eyelet.

Angry thoughts were still running through Katniss's head, and she needed a minute to process Prim's request.

"Um, yeah, I guess."

"Great," Prim said, pushing the girls in Katniss's room. "Torry's parents both had to work tonight, and we've got some place to be."

"Oh, okay."

"Thanks!" Prim said brightly as she and Torry left. They were already down the hall by the time Katniss thought to ask where they were going, how long they'd be gone, and what she should do with the girls.

"Hey," she said, waving slightly at the two girls. They both had curly, sandy hair and light brown eyes. The older one had freckles. Katniss couldn't remember which name belonged to which. They were both quiet and started up at her expectantly.

"So," she said, after several moments of uncomfortable silence, "what do you girls like to do?"

They said nothing and kept staring. The littler one stuck her fingers in her mouth.

Katniss racked her brain. Certainly, it couldn't be that hard to entertain kids, she thought. But the more she thought, the more she realized how little she knew about children. It was a thought that was particularly troubling considering her impending motherhood.

"Well, you guys like to play, right?" she asked. _That's what all kids like to do, right?_ she thought to herself.

Both girls looked uncertain, but finally, the small one nodded.

"Great," Katniss said, before she realized she had nothing for them to play with.

She spent nearly half an hour trying to get the girls to play with objects she found in the room. She made sock puppets, pretended her shoes were cars and that pens and pencils were people.

But the girls remained quiet. Katniss wasn't sure if they were unimpressed or confused, but it finally occurred to her that she knew another little girl about their age, and if she couldn't play with these kids, Posy certainly could, so Katniss packed the girls up and headed in the Hawthorne's direction.

When she got there, Vick answered the door. His mom was also working that night and Rory was out with friends, so he was watching his sister. When Katniss explained her predicament to him, he suggested they go to the playground.

"There's a playground?" Katniss asked, astonished.

"Yeah, it's over on Row 18. I think it'll be open for another hour. Hey, Po, you want to go to the park?"

Posy hopped up excitedly and came running to the door. "Hi!" she waved at the two girls. "Are you coming to the park too?"

The small one looked up at Katniss and then nodded. She was beginning to wonder if they were mute.

"Great! We can be friends then!" Posy grabbed her hands and charged off in the park's direction.

Bobbin and Eyelet turned out to just be incredibly shy. Once at the park, they slowly opened up and began playing and running around with Posy. Katniss was astonished when she first heard one speak, and she smiled as she watched them from the sidelines with Vick.

"So how'd you end up with these two?" he innocently asked, and nearly fifteen minutes later, after Katniss vented about her and Gale's arguments that day, Vick realized the conversation wasn't going to circle back to how Katniss got the girls.

"Meanwhile, Gale just goes off and does whatever he wants," she huffed.

Vick let out a low whistle, finally deciding it was time to chime in. "Gale does what he has to, not what he wants to."

Katniss looked at Vick pointedly. She was looking for support more than anything, but she knew he had a valid point.

"I know," she huffed, sitting down, "I just wish he'd..." Katniss wasn't actually sure what she wished.

"Gale doesn't like to show weakness," Vick explained.

"What?"

"He's not going to tell you about his problems because that means he has to admit that he has problems, and only weak people have problems, at least, to Gale," Vick said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "He think admitting problems will make people doubt him, and he doesn't want anyone he cares about to feel...insecure."

Katniss was amazed at the wisdom of the youngest Hawthorne brother. He just looked at her and nodded.

"If you want him to open up to you, you've got to make him think it's for your benefit and not his. That's the only way he'll do it."

This all made an astounding amount of sense. When she could finally formulate words again, Katniss thanked Vick for the perspective he'd given her, and just for listening.

"No problem," Vick shrugged like it was no big deal.

Katniss couldn't believe his nonchalance. "No, Vick, really, it means a lot to me. Gale's been so busy recently, so distant, I just want you to know how much I appreciate..."

Vick just shook his head. She didn't need to thank him. "I know how difficult Gale can be when he's upset," he said, "and I can only guess how upset he must be right now judging by that bruise on your neck..."

Katniss self-consciously touched it.

"So I'm sure he's in overdrive right now, trying to do whatever he can to make sure no one ever hurts you again..."

Katniss nodded; Vick was absolutely right.

"It's just because he cares."

"I know," Katniss said, "I just wish he knew..."

"Yeah. He can be a bit dumb sometimes. I'm the smart brother," Vick said with an absolute serious face.

Katniss couldn't help herself, she broke into laughter.

Katniss and Vick stayed at the park for another half an hour, but Vick finally had to leave, deciding it was time for Posy to get to bed and Katniss wanted to get the girls back to her room, worried Prim would be showing up to retrieve them sometime soon.

She was a bit surprised Prim wasn't there when she got back. And even more surprised when Prim didn't show up over the next hour. Katniss finally called her mom, wondering if she knew what her sister was up to.

"I think they went to a meeting of some sort," Anise informed her.

"A meeting? What type? Where?"

"I don't know, dear, I didn't ask." Katniss huffed and hung up the phone. _What was she going to do with these girls? What about their parents? Where were they and weren't they worried?_

Katniss asked the girls if they knew where they lived or how to contact their parents, but both just looked at her with big, silent eyes and shook their heads.

"Great," Katniss huffed. "I don't know what we're going to do," she told them plainly.

"Can we watch TV?" Eyelet asked.

"What?"

"Yeah!" Bobbin joined, pointing to the wall.

Katniss suddenly remembered Haymitch showing her and Gale Peeta's interview. She'd never watched television otherwise, and didn't know how to turn it on.

The girls, however, watched TV all the time, and quickly switched the device on once Katniss had given them permission and were glued.

Katniss left them to their entertainment, and she was in the bathroom when Gale returned.

"Katniss," he said, stopping as soon as he saw the girls, his voice full of alarm.

"Yeah?" she called from the bathroom.

"Where did you get these children?" Gale looked slightly horrified at the girls.

Katniss dried her hands and came out of the bathroom. "Their Torry's sisters. I'm babysitting them..."

"Oh thank god," Gale said, clutching his heart and letting out his breath, "I thought you stole them."

"What?! No! Gale!"

"Sorry, but after what you said..."

Gale tried to explain himself and they both laughed.

"When's Prim coming to get them?"

"She didn't say..."

"Can your mom watch them?"

"Why?"

"We have to go to a meeting."

"What? Gale, it's almost bedtime..."

But the look on Gale's face told her this was very important. And she realized it had to be, considering how he ran out during dinner.

"Yeah, probably, let me call her," she said, trying not to let her mind race with all the horrible things that could have happened.


	39. Chapter 39

Coin, General Pierce, Beetee, Cinna, and Plutarch were all waiting for them in the conference room. On the TVs, Haymitch, Lagan, and a woman named General Ore joined them.

Coin nodded as Gale and Katniss took their seats. Katniss felt like she could drown in the gravity of the room.

"I want to thank you all for joining me," Coin said. "As you all know, Thirteen officially joined the ranks of the Rebellion last night. In the past twenty four hours, we've sent troops to Three, Five and Six to try and create a unified and independent block apart from the Capitol. I broadcast our intentions to the nation this morning. General Ore is one of Thirteen's top military advisors, and she's in charge of ground operations. She's just reported that Six and Three have rallied to our side, and our combined forces have already successfully overthrown the Capitol in Six and we should have Three shortly. We plan to strike Five in the early morning, and with help from Four, we should have that District under our control shortly."

General Ore was a tough, middle aged woman with dark skin, short hair, and a large scar stretching down the side of her face. She nodded to validate Coin's report.

"Haymitch, can you bring us up to speed on District Eight?" Coin said, turning her attention to his screen. "Where's Organdy?" she asked, suddenly noticing his absence.

Haymitch looked more tired and haggard than Katniss had ever seen him. Dark circles pillowed under both of his eyes, which looked red and cracked in the harsh light of wherever he was filming. He coughed and mumbled a response to Coin.

"Excuse me?" she asked for clarification.

Haymitch cleared his throat. His tone came out somehow both harsh and fragile. "He's dead."

Everyone in the room murmured and gasped.

"Yeah," Haymitch said dismissively, "bomb got him this morning. He's dead."

"Oh Haymitch," Katniss began to console, but he waved her concern aside and cleared his throat again.

"Don't worry about it. Calico was taken out by a sniper about a week and a half ago. He was ready."

Haymitch's voice cracked as he said it, and Katniss knew how much the loss of his comrade in arms must hurt him.

"The Capitol has hit us pretty hard here in Seven and Eight, but we're still managing to hold them off. Since Six's secured now, we'll be interested in linking our forces."

Coin nodded approvingly and looked to Ore who also agreed.

"With Organdy and Damask gone, is Johanna now leading in Seven?"

"Nope, I'm here!" Johanna's voice piped from Lagan Corsair's screen. She waved and smiled brightly, as if she was greeting a dear friend for a celebration rather than discussing war.

"What are you doing in Four?" Pierce asked sternly.

Johanna just smiled and winked at him.

"Who's in charge in Seven then?"

"Oh, uh, I guess that's me too." Haymitch said.

"You guess? What happened to Adze and Maddock?" Pierce asked accusingly. This sort of disorder disgusted him.

Haymitch coughed. "Adze wasn't cooperating," he said.

"So?"

"So I shot him," Haymitch clarified. "He was threatening to take his men and go rogue, didn't want to stick to our plan."

Everyone in the room studied Haymitch carefully, quietly. Katniss didn't want to know the specifics of what was going on in those Districts, but she could tell it was bad.

"And Maddock?" the President asked.

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know, ma'am," Haymitch repeated, "we think the Peacekeepers might have got him, but...we don't know."

"But Eight and Seven are secure?"

"You could say that."

Pierce swore under his breath and shook his head. Haymitch's eyes just narrowed.

"Look, half my men in Eight have been killed, and the units in Seven are still splintered. When the Peacekeepers show up, we generally manage to kill them, but when they don't, they go fighting about each other. Today, people perked up after seeing the President's message, we got control of another Capitol facility, so things are working pretty good. But tomorrow, the wind could blow in another direction, and I don't even know."

"Okay," Coin said, not provoking Haymitch any further. "Has anyone heard anything from Nine, Ten, or Eleven?"

Several people shook their heads.

"Only the radio signal I told you about earlier," Beetee reported. "But my initial analysis indicates it's just static, damage. If it's an encoded message, it's some of the best I've ever seen and I'll need more time..."

"Of course," Coin said, not needing to hear Beetee explain again and not wanting to hear another report of bad results. "That brings us to Three and Four. Corsair?"

Corsair was flanked by Finnick Odair and Johanna Mason. And Johanna, Katniss couldn't help but notice, had her hand intimately resting on Lagan's shoulder.

Lagan reported about the strong results his soldiers were having in Four. It was secure and functioning. They'd sent reinforcements to Three after it fell, but were having little success regaining it.

"But now that Thirteen is helping, we should have Three in our ranks soon. Especially..." his voice trailed off.

"Yes," Coin said. "That brings us to the issue at hand. Beetee."

And as she commanded, Beetee switched on another screen that showed rows and rows of Peacekeepers, all standing in line outside the gates of Three.

"Two Platoons arrived at the gates this evening," Corsair explained, "they say they want to defect."

The words hung heavily in the room. Katniss's eyes darted from face to face, some looking worried, anxious, oppressed. _Why was no one excited about this?_

"So," Lagan offered, and Coin looked to him.

"Let's start with your Corsair. This is at your door, what do you think we should do?"

"I'm not inclined to trust anyone from the Capitol," he said, "but they seem legit. They showed up unarmed, led by one of the top generals in Panem, having left all their weapons two miles behind them, they told us exactly where to get them, how to use them if we wanted, and the ruse they used to escape the Capitol and come to us. It makes sense. No one should be noticing them gone until at least morning..."

Katniss's heart filled with hope.

"But," Lagan said, "I've got a bad feeling about it."

"Why?" Katniss asked quickly.

"Because they're from the Capitol!" Johanna snapped.

"Not everyone from the Capitol is evil," Plutarch said.

A few people looked to him and nodded.

"Ore, Pierce, what do you think?" Coin turned to her top military advisors.

"Some of the men who joined us to fight in Six were Peacekeepers," Ore said, "not all of them support the Capitol. At least not blindly."

"Or not when they're being shot at," Johanna said. "The Peacekeepers aren't believers, they're just guns for hire. When things get real, they flake."

"I agree with Ms. Mason," Pierce said, surprised he was ever having to say it. "A few isolated Peacekeepers surrendering isn't the same as two entire platoons trying to cede."

"Aww, thanks Bob," Johanna said to Pierce. He looked at her threateningly; his name wasn't Bob—or even Robert.

"The amount of damage they could do if they're not sincere...it's too big a risk."

Many people looked to Pierce and nodded.

"But what about the risk of refusing them?" Katniss cried. "Mrs. President, you got on the airwaves today, asking all the people of Panem to join you, to join us. What does this say if we...why would anyone else want to join us if we start turning people away?"

Several people mumbled in agreement.

"Miss Everdeen has a very valid point," Plutarch said. Beetee and Cinna agreed.

"They're not people, they're peacekeepers," Johanna challenged.

"But the people in One, Two, Three, and even Five, they are especially close to the Capitol, to the Peacekeepers. If news of this gets out..." Plutarch said, "the damage could be..."

"The damage could be propaganda and hearsay!" Johanna roared, "You could just make another little commercial and change all that. If they really intend us harm and we let them in, the damage will be a lot of dead men."

Lagan and Finnick looked at Johanna and nodded. "And dead men from Four," Corsair added.

"But we don't know that they're going to kill us," Katniss said. She knew they had to be skeptical in war, careful, but didn't they also have to hope for the best? "You yourself said they seemed legit," she reminded Corsair.

"Yeah," he said begrudgingly, "Their leader seemed very sincere when I spoke with him."

"It's true," Beetee added. Since the Peacekeepers were defecting from Three, he wanted to believe the best in his District. "I ran their logistics through one of my simulators, and it's the best tactics for defecting without the Capitol noticing. They're doing exactly what anyone would do who wanted to break away from the Capitol unnoticed."

"And they're doing it too well," Gale argued. He disagreed with Beetee's analysis. "I think it's a trap," he said plainly.

Johanna loudly agreed.

"But why would they show up without any weapons, show up surrendering, if they wanted to take over Four?" Plutarch interjected. "And let's not forget, Cassius is one of the Capitol's top generals, I can't imagine he'd risk exposing himself for a ruse. That man enjoys a _very_ comfortable life, he'd never be in any danger unless he chose to."

The conversation went back and forth as the members at the table considered both sides of the plan.

Neither Haymitch nor Cinna had a strong opinion on the matter. Haymitch seemed too tired or distracted to offer up anything useful. All he said was that he knew of four Peacekeepers between Seven and Eight who'd willingly joined their side. "They've all been good fighters," he said, "good men."

Cinna just said he wasn't a soldier. "I don't feel qualified to make decisions when it comes to war. But as I'm from the Capitol, I can assure you that not all of us are evil. I even knew a few Peacekeepers back home. They aren't all bad."

A few people nodded, and Katniss looked gratefully at him. Both Gale and Johanna looked at Cinna with fire in their eyes.

Theirs were the strongest voices against the Peacekeepers. Gale refused to believe it was anything other than a trap, and Johanna spoke with pure contempt and hate. Finnick and Lagan were a bit cooler, acknowledging the argument of the other side, but not quite willing to risk what it would cost Four if they were wrong.

"We'd be overthrown," Corsair said. "We'd lose..."

"But think about all we'd gain if they're true," Beetee argued.

"You're my top military advisor," Coin finally said looking at Pierce, "what do you think?"

"I can't disagree with anything they're saying, ma'am, but I still don't like it."

"Do we have anything firm to go on, or is this just a hunch?" Coin asked pointedly.

Katniss thought Pierce looked slightly ashamed as he said it, "No ma'am, it's just a hunch."

"Well, I for one, don't want to set a precedent of decision making based on hunches. Especially when these hunches seem an awful lot like prejudice."

Cinna, Beetee, and Plutarch looked at Coin gratefully.

"It's not prejudice," Gale said, surprising everyone, "it's common sense."

"Excuse me," Coin didn't appreciate his remark.

"It's common sense, ma'am. I don't care how good their plan looks on paper, how real it seems, no General that high up defects. Men don't get promoted that high in the military if they're not committed, through and through."

Pierce looked at Gale. He not only agreed, he was impressed.

"But Gale," Katniss said.

"No," he held his ground, "Generals don't defect. Your average soldier, sure. When they get scared, hungry, that's why Haymitch and Ore have had their success, but Generals don't become traitors. Their minds don't work that way. They can't."

"You don't know that," Katniss said in almost a whisper.

"Do any of you know this General?" Coin asked, hoping it might give them some clarity. "Personally?"

Haymitch, Beetee and Cinna all shook their heads. They'd never had occasion to consort with members of the military.

"No," Plutarch said, "but his wife makes a mean pot roast."

The whole counsel tossed a crooked look in his direction.

"What? I've attended several of her parties. She's an excellent hostess. But I've never met her husband. General Cassius, that is."

"Well then..." Coin said slowly, considering all the information she had before her.

"Generals don't defect," Gale repeated with Pierce, Lagan and Johanna supporting him.

"We just asked the people to join us," Katniss said, "said they'd have a new beginning, a better future...we promised..."

Coin's eyes locked with Katniss's. Katniss couldn't read her, but she knew her words sunk deeply.

After a few minutes of silence, Coin finally spoke. "I want to thank you all for your time in addressing this matter. It's getting late, and I don't think we'll uncover any new information if we keep discussing it. You're all dismissed."

Most people watched her expectantly, hoping she'd elaborate, but when it was clear she wouldn't, they slowly began to exit.

Gale and Katniss argued all the way back to their room and neither agreed with the other when they went to bed. "If we're going to win, we have to acknowledge that people from the Capitol will come to our side, we have to let them."

"Yes," Gale said, "but not a top-star general."

Katniss pulled herself into bed, curling in the crook of Gale's arm and muttering her disagreement as she fell asleep.

The next morning, their communicuffs awoke them. Katniss pulled herself out of Gale's arms and saw the alert for another meeting.

Both Gale and Katniss skipped breakfast and went straight to the conference room. There, Coin informed them that she'd made her decision about the Peacekeepers at Four.

Coin had deeply mixed feeling about her decision, but she didn't want to start her legacy based on distrust, prejudice, or animosity.

"At 12:00 AM our time, 9:00 PM Four's time, I instructed Corsair to offer clemency to the Peacekeepers and give them shelter in a guarded and isolated warehouse..."

Katniss felt a smile pulling at her lips. She was proud this is what Coin decided to stand for. It was the exact opposite of Snow, and Katniss knew the story of this trust, acceptance, forgiveness would spread throughout the Districts.

"...and at 12 AM Coastal time, the two squadrons attacked. They'd hidden bombs in the stores of weapons they turned over to Four, and when they exploded..." Coin took a heavy breath, not looking up from the sheet of paper that gave her this information, "they were able to overthrow the guards and reclaim parts of Four. Information is still coming in, but our best resources indicate that, while the insurgents have taken over some of the primary facilities in Four, the rebels are currently holding their position. Ore and her forces have prioritized making their way through Five to assist Four. Haymitch has sent as many men as he can spare to support her, as have we." Coin last few words fell wearily out of her mouth. It was clear she hadn't slept at all the night before.

"Also..." she said, finally looking up at the faces before her, "we've gotten reports that Finnick Odair is currently unaccounted for. He's likely dead or has been captured by the enemy, and Lagan Corsair is, eh, alive, but badly injured. He was knocked unconscious in a blast and badly burned. Apparently Johanna pulled him out, but we don't know if he will, um, make it."

Coin dropped the papers she was holding to the table and sunk her face behind her hands for a moment. She then composed herself, looked at the people before her commandingly, and said, "that's all."

No one said a word and people began to file out. Gale had to pull on Katniss's arm to get her up. She was rooted in her seat, mind a fluster, wondering what they were going to do, why everyone was leaving when they needed to figure out how to fix this. And she had to fix this. She was the one who'd pushed Coin to let them in. She was the one...

"Katniss."

She looked up at him, hardly aware if he'd said anything else to her.

"Come on, let's get you breakfast."

"But..." she searched for words, her mind a tangle of thoughts. "Gale, what are we going to do?"

"We're going to go eat breakfast," he said evenly, looking her in the eyes. "Come on."

Gale's arm cradled Katniss's back and guided her to the cafeteria. There, he gathered her food and led her to the table where they both ate in silence.

Katniss didn't even notice what she was eating, or that she was eating, only becoming aware when confronted with the empty plate in front of her.

"What are we going to do, Gale?" she said, looking up.

"We'll figure something out."

"How? How can we..."

"We'll outsmart him," Gale said resolutely, believing it to be that simple, though not at all easy. She wondered if he had any of the confidence he was portraying.

Gale's face looked calm and stoic before hers, his lips forming a soft line, his eyes tender. But Katniss wasn't fooled. She knew there was a storm raging inside him, a thirst for blood, for vengeance. And she wanted him to let it out, to share it with her because all she felt was fear and panic. She wanted him to tell her how they were going to stop Snow, how they were going to make him pay for what he'd done to their allies. Their friends. Because she had no idea.

There was the only thing they could do, she realized, if they wanted to beat Snow, they had to be better than him. Better at being cruel and evil.

"No," she said, the full impact of this reality crashing down on her, "we don't have to be smarter than him. We have to be more awful…more evil!"

Katniss had no idea how to do that. She tried to force her brain to come up with the worst possible thing they could do to the Capitol, but she came up with nothing.

Katniss almost screamed as she said it, her voice shaking with what she realized wasn't panic but horror.

As sickening panic prickled over her, one she hadn't felt since she'd been in the Games.

Her spine feeling like wrung needles and her stomach tightened as she recalled the last time Snow'd forced her into one of his games, when she'd submitted to his rules, how it almost destroyed her. She shuddered as she remembered the screams coming from the sleeping careers as her trackerjacker nest fell to kill them, as she felt the arrow slide from her fingers to hit Marvel, as she saw the life fading from Cato's eyes...

But then Katniss realized playing Snow's game had never gotten her anywhere. It was only when she refused to do so that she won—like with Peeta and the berries. She only was able to beat him when she stopped playing and tried to be herself.

That's what she needed to do now, be herself. She wasn't a tribute or victor or soldier or rebel. She was just a girl who wanted to take care of her family. Her hands unconsciously curved around her stomach and she felt a strange sense of comfort, of ease as she let herself off the hook for trying to make decisions she had no business making, taking care of people she didn't know.

"Catnip?" Gale said, growing concerned by the curious look on her face and her long silence.

"Yeah," she said, shaking her thoughts away.

"It'll be alright," he said, reaching out for her hands, thinking he had to comfort her.

"I know," said, returning a small smile and trying to make herself believe in it as she figured out what she wanted to do.

Gale was trying to figure out what she meant by that when their communicuffs beeped, and she saw that it was signaling their return to the war room.

Katniss looked up at Gale and shook her head. She wasn't returning to that room. She didn't want any part of it.

"I'm not a soldier, Gale," she said, looking deeply into his un-understanding eyes. "I don't belong in there."

"That's not true..." he tried to reassure her.

But she didn't need reassurance. "No, Gale, I don't want to go," she said, her voice clear and strong.

Gale's eyes widened as he took her in, not quite following her, not having the time to, but he sensed her resolution, her strange calm.

"Okay," he said, his voice still uncertain, but trusting her. Katniss was eyeing his mostly uneaten bowl of oatmeal. Gale'd been too upset to his, his stomach feeling like ice and his skin sweaty as his processed the events from this morning. A smile found his lips as he pushed his food to Katniss, happy he had it for her, happy it could at least do something helpful for someone that day. Gale's mind was webbed with worry about how much he actually could help, how much help would actually matter in the war that raged outside.

He delicately took Katniss's face in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to her skin. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," she said, catching his eyes and his hand, wishing she could do something to make him feel better too. She could sense his tenseness, his anger, his pain, his determination to make it _right_. No one else would probably be able to notice it – and Katniss wondered if even Hazelle would – but she sensed it. "Gale…"

"I know," he said, forcing another soft smile to his lips and kissing her again. "I know."

Katniss watched Gale disappear from the cafeteria, hoping whatever he was headed too wouldn't be too hard on him but feeling it'd go much better without her there.

As Katniss ate the rest of his breakfast, she was seized with moments of panic, sinking with her loss of control, determined that if she just fought more, tried harder, she could somehow make everything right. A few times, she was almost ready to jump up and run to the war room, tell Gale to forget everything she'd said, and swear she'd do whatever she had to to help the rebellion, the people of Panem.

But every time that sensation overtook her, Katniss reminded herself that she didn't belong there. _I'm not meant to make those decisions—and I only cause problems when I try,_ she told herself. _Things always seems to work out better when I'm just myself anyhow…_ she reflected, even though she had no idea how or why that was.

As Katniss tried to figure that out, her mother found her.

"Katniss," she said a bit out of breath and surprised to find her daughter still in the cafeteria. "What are you still…I've been looking everywhere for you."

Katniss slowly registered her mother's frantic tone. "Mom, what is it?"

"Katniss…I…" Anise struggled finding her words. "Have you seen your sister?"

Katniss shook her head. "No."

Anise's face faltered. Katniss reached out for her mother's hand. "Why do you need Prim?"

Katniss was sure her sister couldn't be that hard to find.

"Katniss, she…" Anise didn't want to worry her daughter, knowing how protective Katniss was of Prim, but she didn't want to waste any more time. "Prim never came home last night."

"She what!?"

Katniss's first emotion was more akin to anger than worry. Her last memory was of Prim leaving Torry's sisters with her while the two of them went off together.

"She's with Torry," Katniss said.

"I know. His parents haven't heard from him either."

"Oh," Katniss said. "Don't worry mom, they're good kids, so I'm sure…"

But Katniss realized her mother's real worry as she said that. Since Prim and Torry were good kids, the only reason they wouldn't have come home was if something bad had happened to them.

"Oh," she repeated, this time her voice dark and heavy.

Katniss got up, purpose filling her body, and left with her mother forming a game plan. Anise was to check all the hospitals, all the patients who'd been admitted the previous night, while Katniss went off to figure out what could happen to someone who didn't get taken to a hospital.

There was no Hob in Thirteen, but Katniss knew enough about the world to know there had to be something similar—and she was going to find out where that was in Thirteen.

Katniss first tried to track down some of the people from Twelve who'd been in Thirteen the longest. She realized she shouldn't have been surprised that she couldn't find any. The one's she'd filmed with who'd signed up for the military were out fighting, and the rest were busy working in a variety of locations.

After wandering around for several minutes, she finally decided to just ask the next person she saw.

"Hey. Hey! Excuse me!" She called to a young, uniformed man who was walking by. "I'm talking to you!"

"You're not supposed to be here." He told her coldly.

Katniss didn't care and ignored that. "I'm looking for someone who can-"

"There are people in designated areas who can assist you, ma'am."

"Great," she said dismissively and wrinkling her nose at _ma'am_. But Katniss decided to let that go.

"Just follow me please," he said taking her arm and leading her down the hall.

"But you don't know where I want to go," she said, trying to pull away, but his grip only tightened. "Hey, let go of me! Do you have any idea who I am?"

But it was clear the soldier didn't care. He led her through a series of doors and Katniss suddenly found herself in a large room.

"What the-" Katniss didn't even know how to process what she was seeing.

The room was filled with a winding line of people, all being patrolled by severe looking guards.

"She was trespassing and needs to be processed." The soldier told a man behind a desk.

"Resident of Thirteen or Alien?"

The soldier knocked Katniss in the back.

"Oww...Resident," she said, her eyes still lingering on all these people. "Who are they?"

Both men ignored her.

 _There must be at least 200 people here,_ Katniss thought to herself when she heard her name.

"Katniss! Oh my god, what are you doing here?!"

Katniss's head spun, at first not registering the voice, and then, not believing it.

"Prim!" her jaw dropped, and without thinking, she ran to her sister, who was currently handcuffed and being led by guards.

"Get off of her, what the hell are you doing?!" She screamed at the men who had her sister.

But they didn't listen, and Prim shrieked at them not to hurt Katniss, at Katniss not to provoke them in the ensuring mess that only ended when one soldier recognized her as the Mockingjay.

"Stop. Guys, stop. She's the Mockingjay."

They all froze and he pulled Katniss away. If Katniss had paid attention, she would have recognized him as one of the men who'd gone with her to Eight, but she wasn't thinking about that right now. All she was thinking about was Prim and how these men had her handcuffed.

"Get your hands off of me and untie my sister!" Katniss screamed. All the men responded, but it was only Prim's voice she heard.

"No, Katniss, it's okay. Don't worry."

"Don't worry? What the hell do you mean don't worry?! You're in chains!"

"I know," Prim said nonchalantly. "But they'll let me go soon."

Katniss stared open-mouthed at her sister and Prim proceeded to explain how she and Torry had gone to protest the way Thirteen was treating the arriving refugees, how some protesters got a little out of hand, and how everyone had been arrested.

"But don't worry," Prim said again, "They're releasing everyone once they've been cleared as not a threat."

Katniss couldn't help but not that her sister was completely unphased by her own arrest.

"No, Prim, I'm getting you out of here now. Mom and I have been so worried."

"Katniss, it's fine," Prim said, looking her sister straight in the eye. "There are other people you should be worried about."

"What are you talking about?"

"Katniss, look at these people."

And Katniss did. She realized these people all looked tired, even scared, desperate. They were all in various states of frustration, exhaustion, and unease. Men stared with flashing, hungry eyes, children clung frantically to their mother's skirts, muttering, crying, and the women looked tired, afraid.

"What is this?"

"They're all the refugees," Prim said as the guards began to pull her away. "We've got to do something about this, Katniss. We've got to help them! They're not feeding them. Not giving them any place to sleep. We have to do something..."

Katniss nodded slowly - still taking in the images of the people before her, still trying to understand – as Prim disappeared through a set of doors.

"Prim," she said, looking around.

"Hey," the soldier who'd recognized her as the Mockingjay said, politely taking her arm, "let's get you out of here."

"What?" Katniss said, her senses suddenly coming to her. "No. I'm not going anywhere. Not until I help these people."

"You're not supposed to be back here." He told her gravely.

"So?" And she jerked away and went off to talk to the people to find out what they needed.

She quickly learned why her sister had been involved in a protest. It turned out that Thirteen was only letting a very small percentage of refugees through their doors, and only after they'd passed health screenings and background checks and found a place to live and a job they could do. Their list of open rooms and job was growing very slim, and now, only a few refugees were being let in. The rest had to wait in rooms like this.

Katniss couldn't believe it and demanded to talk to who was in charge. She was politely asked to leave and eventually dragged from the room.

"Fine!" She huffed at the soldiers who'd escorted her from the area, "I'll just go and find someone who will help me."

Katniss's attempt to find the person in charge led her through several military offices - and she was pretty sure she at one point spoke with the same Major who'd tried to help her when she was upset about her rejected marriage license. She was essentially told by everyone she spoke with that the matter was either not their problem, not her problem, or just "a low priority at the moment."

"Well, I'm not asking you to make it a priority," she snapped, "I'm asking you to let me to!"

The Major just took a deep breath and looked at her. "Ma'am..."

Katniss's nose crinkled. She didn't like being called that.

"I just don't know what you want me to do. It's not like anyone here wants to keep these people out. But we don't have a place for them all. What happens when we let them all in and can't clothe them? Or give them a place to live? Or feed them?"

"But they're hungry."

"There's only so much food, Miss Everdeen. Do you want to starve so we can feed them?"

 _No,_ Katniss thought. But she didn't say that, and she wasn't ready to give up.

"It would be irresponsible of us to let people in we can't support. And we've already cut back our rations…"

"So there's not enough food? That's the problem?"

"Food, then getting them all screened by the doctors, and then finding a place for them to live."

"But first food, right? Even if they have to stay out in the halls and sleep there for a while, they first have to eat, right?"

"Yes," the Major said, rolling his eyes. "But we don't have enough-"

But Katniss had already turned to leave. If there was one thing she'd learned from growing up in Twelve, there was always a way to get more food, if you really wanted it.

She went to Cinna's quarters and strapped on her Mockingjay suit, which was nearly impossible to squeeze into, she regrettably noticed and did her best to ignore and grabbed all her bows. She then went back to the area where she'd run into Prim and all the refugees. No one tried to stop her now that she was suited up.

"Alright," she said to the rows and rows of people. Who here knows how to hunt?"

The soldiers, of course, tried to stop her. But Katniss reminded them that the refugees weren't technically under Thirtheen's jurisdiction, so they could do whatever they wanted. And then she reminded them that it wasn't exactly a good idea to try and stop her.

"I'm the Mockingjay," she told the young and clearly inexperienced soldier at the door. "I can do what I want."

"Oh, right, of course," he said, opening the doors to let her and the nine men who'd volunteered to help hunt.

That young soldier would later get into trouble for letting them out, but Katniss didn't care. These people needed food, and that was something she knew how to do.

She felt alive again out in the forest, and she'd forgotten how good it felt to have sun on her face, wind in her hair. She didn't regret at all that she wasn't in the war room trying to figure out how to save the rebellion. She knew she'd be no good in there. But out here—she remembered again how she could actually help.

It turned out the volunteers were all very capable hunters. Most were from Seven where she learned it was very common for most people to go out and scrounge for their own food. By the end of the day, they'd got four deer, one of which was a very large buck, and several turkeys. Katniss resisted her urge to shoot every squirrel she saw, knowing they would offer little in the way of trying to feed an entire population.

When Katniss and her team arrived back at the gates of Thirteen, several soldiers, the Major, and General Pierce were waiting for her.

"God damn it, Everdeen, I've got better things to do than..." Pierce said as he took a pair of handcuffs out. He'd clearly come to arrest her, but then he saw all the meat the volunteers were dragging. "What the hell is this?"

"Food."

The General opened his mouth, but clearly didn't know what to say. Katniss smiled.

"You guys need food, right?"

"Well, yes..."

"And now you have it," she said nonchalantly and began walking back in doors.

"Now wait just one moment. I can't let you back in there."

Katniss exhaled deeply and turned. "But I bet you can use that meat, can't you?"

"Katniss Everdeen," the General said, his face a mix of frustration and apology, "for leaving the premise of District Thirteen without permission and breaking Order 237A, 822S and 147G-12, I have to place you under arrest."

Katniss stared steely eyed at Pierce, her look belittling more than anything else. He knew she thought he was being nothing more than a nuisance, and for a man who'd dedicated his life to earning the respect and esteem of his people through his hard work, dedication, and sacrifice, it bothered Pierce more than he'd ever let anyone know.

Katniss held out her wrists and let him take her.

"Alright, Miss Everdeen," he said, leading her to a small holding room, "wait her until..."

"You figure out what to do with me?"

"Yeah," he grumbled.

"Well, good luck with that."

Pierce looked at her like he wasn't quite sure if he appreciated her snark or not. He poured her a glass of water and took off her cuffs.

"You'd probably like to know that we released your sister earlier this afternoon."

"Thanks."

"No need for thanks. She was determined to be a non-threat, and we don't imprison people here who aren't."

Katniss wondered if that meant he thought she was a threat.

"Well, just make sure all that meat gets eaten."

"We will. We don't let things go to waste here."

"Okay."

.

"Katniss, what the hell, Katniss!"

She'd been resting her head in her arms on the table, and looked up to see Gale running towards her.

"Let her out of there right now!" Gale demanded of the guard stationed outside her door.  
"Jesus, Katniss are you okay?" Gale said. His eyes were full of worry and her took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, I'm fine, hey," she said, sensing how great his concern was. "I'm fine." She pressed her lips deeply against his.

Katniss could tell by the lines of worry on his face and the shadows under his eyes that Gale had had a very rough day. She felt bad for having not worried more about how the rebellion was going or what extra concern she might have caused Gale.

"Hey," she said, squeezing his hand in reassurance, "I'm okay."

"Okay," he finally said, pulling away. "I'm going to get you out of here."

Katniss smiled weakly, "okay."

She now felt bad for having become an extra problem for Gale to deal with, especially when he'd spent the whole day in the war room having to help make god-only-knew what type of impossible decisions. She almost wanted to tell him to just leave her, that she'd eventually get this sorted out herself, but she knew Gale wouldn't do that.

Two hours later, he came back. He was extremely irritated, and she could only imagine that it was because of all the stupid bureaucratic paperwork he had to go through to get her out.

The couple had again been thwarted by the fact that they weren't married, and Gale spent about thirty minutes trying to be polite and professional and explain who he was and why he was trying to get Katniss out of jail. But after the third person apologized to him, saying he didn't have access to any of Miss Everdeen's files, Gale lost it. He screamed and made a few threats, and finally, after flashing his badge, rank, and mentioning the Mockingjay, he was sent to talk to someone who could help him.

That someone happened to be the same poor Major whom Katniss's had spoken to about acquiring food – and her marriage license. His name was Major Cross.

"Oh, Miss Everdeen, yes I've heard of her," the man said wearily, rubbing his stiff knee. He'd hurt in in action, which was why he was now assigned to a job of paperwork and file-keeping instead of in the field. But his knee always bothered him when it rained or had to sign a lot of paperwork. He knew that day, the skies were perfectly clear. "Let's see what I can do for you."

Major Cross read over a list of infractions Katniss had been accused of, and Gale cursed under his breath when he learned she'd gone off premise without permission and without protection.

"Well, one of these citations is for using an unauthorized weapon, but since it's her bow and arrow, I'm pretty sure I can get her cleared of that one," the Major said, beginning to whittle away at her list of offenses.

The Major made a few phone calls, filed a few forms, and after an hour, told Gale that Katniss had been cleared to go. He led Gale back to Katniss's cell. Shew as pacing the room this time, growing restless in her small cell.

"All right, Miss Everdeen, you're free to go," Major Cross said, opening her door. "But I feel the need to express to you that _free_ doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want…"

"Right," Katniss half-ignored him as she walked towards Gale who took her under his arm but looked at her sternly.

"Have you eaten?" Katniss said as they walked away, "I'm starving." She began to walk towards the cafeteria, excitedly telling Gale that they were probably serving the deer she'd helped catch earlier.

"Do you care if we have dinner with my mom and sister? I want to talk to Prim about what happened last night."

"Yeah, that's fine," Gale said vaguely, clearly distracted, but Katniss was too hungry and excited to notice.

She did notice, however, by the time they reached the cafeteria. Gale was quiet, brooding – neither of which was particularly out of character for him – but he was also tense and almost callous any time Katniss, her mom, or Prim said anything to him. All three women eventually just let him be, and he remained quiet throughout the meal, except to huff once when Katniss and Prim were practically bragging about their actions and congratulating each other for what they did that day.

"I can't believe you just went out to hunt, Katniss! You're so brave."

"There's nothing brave about hunting. And, we needed food," Katniss said like it was no big deal. Though secretly, she was pretty pleased with herself.

"I wish I'd thought to just go do that. But I always just follow the rules…" Prim spoke like it was her greatest failing.

"I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, little duck. You did just get arrested."

And both sisters laughed.

Gale and their mother, however, exchanged a heavy glance. Anise just looked at Gale and shook her head. She knew there was no use, and Gale exhaled deeply.

His breath caught Katniss's attention, who just smiled at him and put her hand on his leg. But when he didn't smile back at her, she knew there was something wrong.

"Alright, Gale, tell me about your day," she said, leading him to the bed when they got back in their room and beginning to message his shoulders. She couldn't believe how stiff he was. His muscles hadn't felt like this since he was working in the mines.

"Katniss," he said, not knowing where to begin.

"What's wrong?" she said, sweetly leaning in to kiss his neck and preparing herself to hear about the state of the rebellion.

"I can't believe you went out hunting today..."

"Why? We needed food."

"Katniss, it's dangerous…"

She turned to face him. "Gale…hunting isn't dangerous. We've done it our whole lives…"

Gale shook his head and had a heavy look in his eyes.

"Come on, Gale," she said with a small laugh.

"I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

Katniss flushed. She felt bad she'd caused him such worry, but was also excited by seeing how much he cared. And she had to admit, it turned her on a little. She liked knowing how much she meant to Gale. Or, not knowing, she realized, she always knew how important she was to him, how much he loved her. She liked seeing it. She began pulling at his shirt and let her hands slide up, savoring his skin.

"You could have been hurt," he said, leaning into her chest.

"No I couldn't have."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty good at staying out of trouble."

"No you're not," Gale said, still nuzzling her chest, his hot breath calling all her nerves to attention, her skin ready, waiting, wanting more.

She took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead and then his lips. "Okay," she smiled, "but I'm pretty good at getting out of trouble."

Gale chuckled slightly at that, but his body was still tense, still worried.

Katniss looped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. A hot urgency was working within him, a raw need that was fierce, wild, and pure.

Katniss helped Gale remove her shirt and moaned as he began to kiss her breasts. She moved to recline on the bed and pulled him down with her, a wave of pleasure rushing through her.

But when Katniss's eyes met Gale's, he looked at her with such a pained expression.

"What's wrong Gale?" she asked, her desire fading to concern.

"I just want to hold you," he said, burying his face in her chest again.

"You are," she said with a small laugh. But it wasn't enough to lighten his mood. She could still see the dark shadows that crossed his eyes. It was like looking into a well. "What's wrong Gale?"

He exhaled deeply and kissed her again and let his hands roam her body. He needed to have her, hold her, protect her…Gale just needed to know he could keep something safe, making something matter after the day he'd had.

"Hey, talk to me," she said again, wanting to get lost in the pleasure his lips were her pulling at her skin, but knowing that wasn't the solution. "Tell me what's wrong," she said, tilting Gale's chin up and forcing her to look him in the eyes.

He sighed deeply again, making almost a choking sound as he tried to keep everything within him. Katniss could see his struggle, and she pulled his arm around her and nuzzled close to his side, running one of her arms across her chest and pulling his hand to her stomach.

"Tell me what's wrong, Gale," she said again, softly kissing his skin as she did.

Gale sighed heavily again, not wanting to talk about any of it. Not wanting to think about any of it, but, finally, he did.

He told Katniss about the conditions in Three and Four. He told her about the gains the rebellion had made that day. And then about the men they had lost doing so.

And finally, he told her that he didn't really know what to do, that he didn't know how to fix things, that he didn't know how to make it right.

And Katniss realized for the first time that what she felt was guilt—but what Gale felt was accountability. He felt personally responsible for taking care of everything and making it right.

She tried to get him to realize it wasn't all up to him, that he didn't have to take care of everything, but it was hard. He'd stepped up and taken care of his family when his father died. And he'd done the same thing for her family when she'd gone into the Games. Gale had somehow always been able to take care of everything and everyone.

Whatever worked inside of him to make him do that was pulling him now—only Katniss realized it was pulling him down.

Gale, she said, again and again, telling him it wasn't all up to him, that he couldn't do everything, and, especially, that it wasn't his fault.

They kept talking, Gale slowly letting his fears and anxieties out, slowly believing what Katniss told him, slowly feeling better.

And, even though the lovers didn't end up having sex that night, both realized that they had, nonetheless, been intimate.


	40. Chapter 40

Word quickly spread of Katniss's activities that day. Over twenty-five refugees came forward the next day, saying they could hunt, gather herbs, roots, fruit. Katniss didn't even need to go out with them and instead she began lobbying to get more of them processed, cleared, and admitted into Thirteen.

She got Prim and her mother to get their friends from the hospital to volunteer so all the people could be more quickly screened. Katniss also made sure that enough food was getting to them, and then went to work trying to find every one housing. She finally had to ask Coin to ask if the people of Thirteen would be willing to downside and condense; if extended families would be willing to move in together.

Coin had been busy and distracted with the rebellion, and Katniss was shocked when she agreed to help. Coin turned out to be a surprising ally in her efforts. She approved of a plan to update and restore some of the old housing quarters and came forward and asked her people to help accommodate all the refugees—something not all citizens of Thirteen were happy about. But Gale pointed out that Coin was probably thinking big picture and long term.

"She wants to be the next president of Panem," he told Katniss in their room one night. "It's more important now that people from all the districts like her, not just Thirteen."

The process was still slow and difficult, and more refugees were pouring in each day, but Katniss liked talking to them, helping them. She, her mother, and Prim went to work with them almost every day while Gale was busy helping Beetee and the generals with the rebellion.

Katniss enjoyed talking the people, hearing their thanks, their appreciation. She liked knowing that everything they were doing – everything she had done – was worth it. Even though most of the people who arrived were poor, tired, cold, and hungry, even though most of them had lost their homes and even some of their loved ones, every single one said thank you.

_Thank you for helping us! Thank you for showing us we could fight! Thank you for giving us hope! Thank you for giving us a future!_

It was hard for Katniss not to get emotional about it, hard for her not to get attached, and it renewed her efforts to help these people. She started spending more of her time going to meetings with the Health and Safety Advisory, the Food Production Committee, the Food Service Alliance, the Council of Doctors, the Board of Education… Every time she reached a bureaucratic wall or dead end or hiccup, she remembered all those people saying thank you, not asking for more, and resolved to work harder.

Almost a month had passed since she started working, and things were finally looking up. Things were starting to look up for the rebellion too. Gale still spent almost every day locking in the lab with Beetee, but Thirteen was able to send out several more troops of soldiers, and Four – which was now back under a recovering Lagan Corsair's command – was making incredible progress. After the attack, Three became an unstoppable force, and they mercilessly overthrew the Peacekeepers in Four and Three.

Haymitch's men had also joined with General Ore's army, and they'd overtaken Five, which quickly surrendered wanting to secure stability. Ore established relative control in Five and Six, and life in those Districts was beginning to return to normal. Coin ordered Haymitch to try and do the same in Seven and Eight, but he was having less luck.

"Goddammit, Madam President, have you ever met any of this people!?" He screamed at her in frustration one day when she asked why his districts were still experiencing such turbulence when the Peacekeepers had been shut out for almost a month.

Coin wanted Haymitch to establish stability in Seven and Eight at least partially to curb the streams of refugees who were still fleeing for Thirteen.

"Why don't you just send Johanna back here and let her deal with her people," he grumbled.

"I'm not leaving my Laggie!" Johanna screamed from her screen. "He's still weak from the attack and he needs me!"

Lagan Corsair's expression didn't indicate whether or not that was actually true.

The success the rebels had met from Three to Eight, however, wasn't being seen in Nine, Ten, or Eleven.

Beetee finally cracked the code of the transmission he'd received – and it did turn out to be the most impressive piece of coding he'd ever seen. It was coming from a man in Eleven who was not only a genius when it came to devices but a rebel leader. He and Beetee started communicating regularly, planning for Eleven to officially rebel, and Beetee was the happiest anyone had ever seen him marveling at that man's code.

"Oh, this is just delightful! Really!" he'd exclaim to anyone who would listen. "Look at how he inverted these matrices…"

But the Capitol somehow got ahold of their transmissions, and the entire district was attacked with chemical gas. Every man, woman, child and even animal fell dead, and the Capitol broadcast the results live, their cameras hovering over as the gas clouds dissipated, revealing rows and rows of people who'd fallen dead in the streets, trying to run away from the poison that'd killed them.

A heavily accented Capitol reporter narrated that this was what had to happen to the rebels and the "insidious evil" they threatened the Capitol with, unforgivably threatening to jeopardize their food. The camera footage stopped on a mass of people who'd died trying to climb the fence. Katniss felt sick when she saw a young father who'd died trying to lift his child to safety. He'd failed and the little boy lay dead next to him. Ten, the face of a young, blonde woman with bloodstained eyes and greening skin.

Katniss threw up when she realized it was the face of her good friend Madge Undersee, who'd been sent to work in Eleven with the rest of her family when the Rebellion erupted in Twelve, and now lie dead in its streets.

That night, Gale vowed to take down the Nut—The Capitol's base in Two where the poisonous bombs had come from, and the next day, Katniss suited up in her Mockingjay uniform and stood next to Coin as she announced that Ore's army was going to advance towards those districts and liberate them.

Beetee broadcast Coin's message not only throughout all of districts, but on all the Capitol TVs as well – he's spent two days not sleeping, working harder than he ever had, to hack their system as his own personal revenge – and he broke into the network, signaling every device in the city to turn on and broadcast Coin's promise.

"We're coming," Coin promised the people with cold, steely resolve as she stood next to Katniss's fiery gaze, "and nothing will stop us."

* * *

When Katniss wasn't helping the refugees or worrying about the rebellion, she was becoming increasingly focused on choosing a name for their baby.

At first, Gale thought it was cute. He liked seeing her interested in their child, her growing motherly concern, but as the weeks passed, she was becoming obsessed.

She made lists and lists of names, and she'd talked about it with Gale for hours and hours. He'd said he liked at least a dozen of the names she'd proposed, but Katniss couldn't decide. Sometimes, she was upset that he had an opinion; other times, she was upset he didn't have enough of one.

"What do you think of these names?" she asked Gale one day at dinner when she pushed a list of the top eight names she liked in front of him.

"Those are all good names," he said, looking it over and wondering why she had a top eight.

"But which one do you like best?"

"I like Robin."

Katniss immediately scowled. "You don't like Ivy?"

"I like Ivy too."

Katniss's mood immediately turned sour.

"Do you even care what we name our child?"

"Of course I care," he said, quickly taking a big bite of food to give himself a minute to figure out why Katniss had suddenly become so upset.

"She's only going to have this name for the rest of her life!"

"I know…"

"Then, maybe you could try to have a real opinion on it."

Gale didn't know why what he'd said earlier hadn't counted as a real opinion, but he promised he'd do better and eventually agreed to produce a list of names himself.

When he finally got around to writing it, Katniss stared at it for a minute and then tossed it aside.

"I don't like any of those," she said, "what do you think of this one…."

.

This night, Gale'd gotten off early from work and when he walked in the door, Katniss was laying in the bed with a book propped open on her exposed belly. The button down shirt she was wearing was no longer able to contain it and it was only fastened over her breasts.

"Hey there," Gale said, sliding onto the bed with her and pulling her legs over his. He ran his hands up and down her smooth skin, leaning in to touch her stomach and kiss her knee.

"What do you think of the name Artemis?" Katniss asked, not looking up from the pages. She'd recently discovered a library, and had gotten several books help her find what she was now calling _the perfect name._

The one she was currently looking at was called _European Myths._ She gotten it after talking to Cinna and his partner about how they named their children, and he'd told her they'd selected all theirs from Greek mythology.

Katniss didn't know what Greek mythology was at that time, but this day, she'd become an expert.

"Artemis?" Gale pulled his head up from her skin and frowned.

"Yeah, she's the goddess of the hunt and she has a bow. And I really like how it ends in an S sound, like my name…" Katniss said, setting the book down and seeing Gale's scowl. "What? You don't like it?"

"It just…it sounds like a Capitol name to me."

Katniss grumbled and tossed the book aside. He was right. "Why is this so hard?"

Gale rubbed her legs consolingly and leaned in to kiss her knee again. "Don't worry about it," he told her, his kisses traveling up her thigh and hands caressing.

Katniss smiled and let her hand run through Gale's hair. She liked the way that felt, and realized Gale was in the mood to talk about baby names.

"What do you think you're doing?" she said with a laugh as Gale climbed on top of her and kissed her chest.

Gale mumbled something incoherent into her breast and lightly kissed her nipples which hardened at his touch and sent a shiver of pleasure through her.

"But Gale, what we going to name our baby?" she said, trying not to get distracted.

"Let's name her Artemis," he said, his voice deep with desire.

"I thought you didn't like that name."

"No," he said between more kisses, "it's a great name."

"Gale…"

"Hmmm?"

"Don't agree to a baby name just so you can get laid."

Gale looked up at her and laughed. "What about that other one you liked? Tansy?"

Katniss tensed and looked at Gale pointedly. He sensed her body's reaction and looked up at her.

It was her mother that suggested the name Tansy, and Katniss had hated it, he now remembered.

"You weren't even paying attention were you?" she said, sounding a little hurt.

Gale had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Yes I was," he said, taking her hand and kissing it gently. "I meant to say Bryony, that was the name you liked, right?" Gale began sucking her fingers.

"Yeah…" Katniss said with a pleasured gasp. "But that's a poisonous plant…"

"Mmmhmmm," Gale said, kissing her inner wrist now and letting one of his hands slide across her chest, softly touching her skin, and tracing a circle around her nipple which instantly grew hard.

"You know, we aren't going to be able to do this much longer," Katniss said, giving in to Gale as she took Gale's head in her hands and brought him up to kiss her lips and realized just how difficult and awkward it was to move around her belly.

"I know," Gale said with a laugh as he resumed kissing her chest.

Katniss suddenly realized that Gale knew very well that they wouldn't be able to do this for much longer…and that perhaps was what was driving his desire to be intimate now. Now that Katniss thought about it, she realized they'd been more intimate than normal over the past week. She'd thought it was just because they had more regular schedules as the situation was relaxing with the rebellion and refugees, but now she suspected that Gale was just eager to enjoy each other as much as possible before the baby came. And Katniss didn't know how long it'd be before they could do so again.

She began to moan as Gale's hot breath stirred pleasure with in her and one of his hands slide up her legs. She quickly helped him take off the pair of shorts she was wearing and began unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off, running her hands up and down his hard muscles as they resumed their positions in bed and he began stroking her clit.

Then, Gale's communicuff beeped.

"Don't stop," Katniss said, her voice a mix of wanting and warning.

Gale chuckled complied, but it beeped again and again.

"Damn it," he said, finally getting up to see what it said.

"Ohh," Katniss sighed, savoring his last touch as he stepped away.

"Damn it," he said again as he read it.

"What?"

"We have to go to a meeting."

"What?"

"They need us in the conference room," Gale said as be bent down to get his shirt.

"You're not leaving till you finish what you started, Gale Hawthorne."

"Katniss, they want us there now…"

"Well, then you better be quick," she told him.

He looked at her and laughed, a big smile breaking across his face. He thought it was sexy when she was bossy, and he didn't want to disappoint her.

Thirty minutes later, the couple arrived in the meeting room, a bit out of breath and hair slightly out of place. Kantiss was still smoothing hers as she took a seat with Coin, Cinna, Beetee, Cressida, and a woman Katniss had never met before.

Plutarch was pacing the room huffily, and both Gale and Katniss noticed that none of the military people were there.

"Finally!" Plutarch said, throwing his hands in the air.

"What?" Katniss said, wondering what had gotten him so upset and why Pierce and the other military advisors weren't there. "What's going on?"

"I should be asking you the very same question!" he said, pointing one of his chubby fingers at her.

"Ummm…" Katniss looked to Gale and then the others at the table. She didn't know what to say and was beginning to wonder if he was upset at her for being late, or why she was late…

"Do you have any idea how much work I do, Miss Everdeen?"

"Yeah…" Katniss muttered unconvincingly. She didn't actually have any idea what kind of work Plutarch did these days.

"How much time, how much effort I put into…Do you have any idea how important it is?"

"Yeah," she said more strongly this time, though only to appease him. She still didn't have any idea what he was talking about.

"Then why, please tell me, did you do this?" he said accusingly, dramatically pointing to the screen behind him.

Everyone stared at it for a moment – waiting – when Beetee realized it was supposed to turn it on.

"Oh, right," he said, flipping it on as Cressida tried to hide her laughter as Plutarch stomped his foot impatiently.

On the screen before them, a roughly shot video began to play. It was filmed by one of the refugees, and the man on it talked about what life was like for him. He talked about his journey all the way from Six, all the troubles and dangers he'd faced, and the ones he faced now trying to get into Thirteen.

"Get to the important part," Plutarch huffed.

Beetee sped the video forward.

"There isn't much in this world that gives me hope," the man on the video said, "but I guess I shouldn't be surprised to learn that the one thing here that does is Katniss Everdeen."

The screen suddenly switched to an image of Katniss walking among the refugees from days before.

The man spoke over a scene of Katniss giving food to a mother, her kids, and their grandmother.

"We all know here as the Girl on Fire, and I can still remember watching her in the Games, in the arena, fierce, brave, and, of course, in love."

In the video, Katniss now walked away from the mother and her children, and as she turned to help the old lady, her very visible, very pregnant stomach showed.

Katniss swallowed hard and looked worriedly at Gale. He grabbed her hand and looked at her reassuringly.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" an old woman asked Katniss in the video.

Katniss looked down at her stomach. "Yeah," she admitted. "I am."

At that time, she figured there was no point in trying to hide it. And also, she was still riding her "just be myself" high and had decided to embrace the truth in that moment.

"You're going to have a baby!" one kid exclaimed.

Another piped up, "but where's Peeta?"

Katniss blushed and shook her head. "The baby isn't Peeta's," she said, ladling some stew into a bowl for the old woman.

"But don't you love him?" another child asked.

"I do," Katniss said as she tore pieces of bread for them. "But everything's changed since the Rebellion started." All the children nodded; this they could understand. "And Peeta and I, well, we've gone our separate ways."

"You must be so sad!" one of the kids said.

"What Peeta and I had was intense, but it was only for a moment. Now," she said, smiling at the children, "I'm with my best friend, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, the love of my life, and we're going to start a new, better life together for people like you and this little one in here."

The camera froze on an image of Katniss smiling down at her stomach, a decided motherly glow about her, and an image of happiness and contentment.

Plutarch looked like it made him sick.

The man on the video began to speak again. "She was the symbol of our hope in the rebellion, showing us we could fight, giving us the courage and strength we needed, and now, she's the symbol of our hope again, showing us not only that we can fight, but that we can live and love again. That we can have a future."

The video ended there, and Katniss was actually getting misty eyed. She blamed the hormones, but hearing that meant a lot to her.

But only for a moment though. Plutarch's cutting tone quickly killed the moment.

"We can live and love again," he said in a mock, whiny voice. "Do you know what they're calling you now?"

Katniss quickly wiped her eyes and stared at Plutarch defiantly. "No."

"The Mother of Hope." He said it like he was saying something disgusting.

"Come down, Heavensbee, and get your panties out of a bunch," Cressida said.

"What? NO! She's on record admitting she's pregnant with someone else's child!"

"What was I supposed to do? Tell them I'd just been eating a lot of cake?"

A few people in the room laughed at Katniss's comment.

Plutarch glared at her. "Do you have any idea how much work went into to your story? Your public image? It is a carefully crafted, brilliantly executed…Do you have any idea how much is riding on…"

"Alright, Heavensbee, knock it off," Cressida barked. "That world is over and you know it."

He looked at her like she'd just punched him in the gut.

"No one cares if Katniss is with Peeta anymore."

"That's not true! The people in District 1, 2 and the Capitol, the Districts with populations we still need to influence…"

A few people in the room nodded at Plutarch's point, and Katniss suddenly felt guilty.

"Those aren't the only Districts we need to influence. Look at these numbers," Cressida said, tossing a repot at him. "The people who've seen that video, the people here and in the Rebellion, they not only don't care she isn't with Peeta, they're exciting she's having a baby."

Katniss suddenly blushed—she wasn't sure how she felt about people caring so much about her personal life.

"It's giving them—"

"So help me if I have to hear the word _hope_ one more time."

"Jeez, Heavensbee, you got a problem with optimists?"

"Yes, actually, I do. I think they're bad for business."

Cressida scoffed and President Coin finally stepped in. "Ms. Fields," she said to the woman Katniss had never met before, "can you please appraise us of this situation?"

"Of course, Madam President," the woman said. She had neatly trimmed brown hair and thick glasses. Katniss got the impression she was someone of importance. "Our research indicates that Katniss's popularity has done a lot of boost morale here in Thirteen, especially among the refugee populations, but also among our own people."

A good portion of the people of Thirteen were infertile due to an illness that had hit them a generation back. They were very excited when someone got pregnant.

"I'd honestly say it's entirely possible Katniss is more popular now that ever. She's showing them we can move on and trust in a better tomorrow. Honestly, I don't know if we could have planned anything better."

Plutarch's face was still burning, but Katniss realized that it was actually with jealous and not anger. He was just upset he hadn't come up with this himself.

"Almost everyone in the Rebellion's seen Peeta's videos with Snow…he's not very popular at all. I think what we have here is a moment to run with this new story, show the people that Katniss has been able to move on, that's she's ready to start a new life. I think it will help inspire the people do so as well."

Katniss realized this Ms. Fields must be Thirteen's own version of Plutarch.

"Mmmhmm," Coin said through pursed lips. Her expression was inscrutable, but she really wasn't excited with Katniss's growing popularity. As Coin was positioning herself to be the next President of Panem, she knew Katniss's voice was probably the only one strong enough to sway the people, and that meant she needed to keep Katniss on her side. Additionally, now that so many refugees had come in and were starting to gain a voice, Coin wanted to keep it focused on something like Katniss so no one dug up any other issues that might prove to be damaging distractions to her while she focused on the war.

"Well," Coin continued, "as this is boosting morale at the moment, I don't think this is a problem."

"But Madame President!" Plutarch roared.

"Yes?"

"'The Mother of Hope' is a horrible title!" he fussed, realizing he had no other ground to stand on.

"Why don't you see if you can come up with something better," Coin said dismissively to Plutarch as she got up to leave.

"Fine. I'll see what I can do. But it's going to be hard to spin this story when most of the people in this country still believe she's in love with Peeta…" Plutarch bemoaned.

"Why don't you start by explaining that Katniss's first priority was the rebellion, and when Peeta sided with Snow, that made her see things differently."

Plutarch looked at Coin like she was suggesting the ridiculous. "They'll think she's a liar."

"Then why don't you make it about how we all deserve a second chance, a fresh start," Coin said looking at Plutarch severely. "I think that's a good message for our world right now, don't you?"

Everyone in the room, including Plutarch, nodded.

"Good." And with that, Coin left.

Katniss still wasn't sure what to make of that woman, but she had to admit, it was hard not to be impressed with her sometimes.

"We'll have to do an official interview, or something," Plutarch told her, sounding crestfallen.

"Okay…" Katniss said.

"And we'll probably have to do something on you too," he said, flopping his hand towards Gale.

"We can probably spin Gale's work as a soldier as some sort of propaganda, encourage more people to our fight," Ms. Fields said.

Plutarch rolled his eyes and moaned; not because it wasn't a good idea, but because it was very good and he didn't come up with it.

Gale just nodded. He didn't like the idea of being in the spotlight, but he had to admit, he was pretty happy at the prospect of openly being with Katniss and acknowledging their pregnancy.

"If it makes you feel any better," Katniss said, trying to console Plutarch, "I was at least smart enough to not tell anyone how pregnant I was."

"Well, that's something…"

Katniss smiled at him, but he still looked pitiful. Cinna noticed her, however, and he returned her glance.

He excused Katniss while he, Plutarch, Fields, and Cressida talked about what they needed to do to keep this story working in their favor.

"So…I'm the love of your life?" Gale said with a big grin on his face as he and Katniss headed back to their room.

She rolled her eyes. She wouldn't have been so gushy if she'd known someone was recording her. "Well, yeah. I mean, you're going to be, right?" She suddenly looked up at Gale with an expression of worry.

Gale looped his arm around her and pulled her tightly to him. "I'm not going anywhere," said leaning in to kiss her fully and deeply on the lips.

Katniss grabbed his shirt tightly and responded in kind, and the couple had barely made it into their room before they were tearing their clothes off each other.

. . .

"You said you weren't going anywhere!" Katniss screamed at Gale a week later.

He'd just told her that he and Beetee had finally come up with a plan to take down the Nut—and that he'd agreed to lead the mission to do it.

"No, Gale, absolutely not! You're not going!"

"Katniss…" He said patiently for about the dozenth time.

"NO!" tears were spilling down her face now, and Gale felt like he'd been stabbed in his heart.

He, of course, didn't want to cause Katniss pain. And he also didn't want to leave her, especially not when she was seven months pregnant. But he'd designed the plan to take down the Nut, nobody knew it better than him, and Thirteen's army was stretched pretty thin. There weren't that many other qualified people who could lead this mission, and there wasn't the time to train someone else for the mission. And, if they didn't take down the Nut soon, the Capitol could bomb another district like they'd done to Eleven.

Gale feared the next district they might bomb would be Thirteen.

"It's what I'd do," he'd told Beetee when they simulated battle plans in the lab.

Beetee gravely nodded. He knew they had to put the Nut out of commission as well.

Gale tried to explain this to Katniss, but she wouldn't listen.

"What if something happens to you? What if you get shot again? What if you die?"

"Katniss…"

"No, Gale! There's a war going on out there and you want to go right into it? Are you crazy? If you think I'm going to support you on this, you're wrong!"

"Katniss!" he finally said, taking her face in his hands and staring at her deep in the eyes. It was only then that she saw how he was breaking. "I have to," he said with labored breath. Gale felt that if he didn't, if he didn't leave to do this, then he was practically allowing Snow to come and attack Thirteen. And Gale wasn't going to let that happen, not while his family was there, not while Katniss and their child…

Katniss suddenly remembered how, when she'd volunteered for her sister, he'd looked at her with that same expression. It'd only flashed for the briefest of moments then before he was able to get himself under control. But she'd seen it. As pure and painful as it was now.

She didn't argue anymore, but only threw her arms around him, desperate to hold him to her, to support him in his need to leave.

"You come back to me."

"I will," he promised her. "I will."

She kissed him fully on the lips. "You come back to us."

"I will."

She watched him pack his few items – his boots, his socks, his shirts – and say goodbye to his family. Hazelle and Posy had cried, Rory acted like he didn't care, and Vick gave him a big, long hug. Gale said goodbye to all of them, told them all he loved them, that he'd be back soon.

"Whatever," Rory huffed, turning and marching away at that.

"Don't mind him, dear," Hazelle said, seeing the pained look in her son's eyes. "He's just a teenager…"

But Gale knew how Rory felt, he just didn't know how to fix it.

"We'll see you when you get back, okay?" Hazelle said, wiping another tear from her eye.

"You bet," he told her and hugged her again.

Hazelle kissed him on the cheek and then led Posy and Vick away, giving Gale and Katniss some time alone.

"I love you," she said, trying not to be to cry, remembering how strong he'd been for her when she had to volunteer, remembering how much that meant to her. The least she could do was be strong for him now.

"Catnip, I'm coming back."

"I know," she said, not quite able to look him in the eye.

"And I'll be back soon," he said, taking her hand in his.

"You know, I'm trying really hard to be strong for you right now…" she said with a smile as she began to cry, "and you're making it really hard."

Gale chuckled and kissed her and held her tightly to his chest. "Alright, I have to go," he said after a few minutes had passed.

"Okay."

He took her face in his hands, brushing the stream of tears away with his thumb and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. "Remember I love you, okay?"

And then he had to go. Katniss loosened her arms from around his frame and kissed him quickly and watched him leave.

Gale grabbed his bag, kissed her one more time, his hand trailing from her face to her stomach, and then he turned to go.

Katniss watched him climb onto the hovercraft with the select other soldiers who'd been chosen for this mission. He waved to her as the doors closed and the engine flared.

And then he was gone.

Katniss walked back to her room in a daze. She felt almost drunk, or high, in some sort of haze unable to quite process reality. But when she made it to her room, it hit her clearly—she was all alone and Gale had gone into war and it was entirely possible he'd never come back.

She fell to her knees in tears when she realized. She cried until all her body hurt and then she cried some more until she didn't feel anything at all.

And then she picked herself up, cleaned herself up, and got back to work. Because that's what she and Gale did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello Lovely Readers...we'll almost at the end! I hope you're enjoying this ride and I'm really going to try to get this finished before the movies come out. As always, i'd love to know what you think, so leave me a little review if you can <3


	41. Chapter 41

A sharp pain in Katniss's stomach woke her. She was getting these frequently now. Her mother told her they were Braxton-Hicks contractions and that they were normal, but that didn't make Katniss feel any better.

Katniss threw her legs out of bed and stood up, stretching, because that usually helped the pain pass.

"You just can't let me sleep, can you?" she said, rubbing her stomach.

Katniss knew there'd be no going back to sleep. Not with everything going on.

It'd been three weeks since Gale had gone, and a week since Prim had left.

.

President Coin had asked the people of Thirteen to volunteer in the war effort. They needed more people to sign up to be soldiers, they needed volunteer mechanics, cooks, but especially medics.

Prim and Torry both volunteered the first day.

There was nothing Katniss or her mother could tell Prim to dissuade her when they'd found out.

"Are _you_ really going to tell _me_ not to volunteer, Katniss?" Prim had said to her almost threateningly.

Sometimes, Katniss wanted to tell her sister how ambivalent she was about the revolution at the beginning—tell her she'd never been this great hero, trying to inspire a nation, trying to make the world a better place. But when she saw how much that Katniss meant to her sister, Katniss didn't know what to do.

"You be careful, little duck," she said, folding Prim into as tight a hug as she could, considering her stomach.

"I will," Prim said, pulling away from Katniss more quickly than she would have liked. Prim was excited to start her adventure.

"Bye Katniss! Bye mom!" she'd said, smiling as she boarded the hovercraft with Torry, he blonde braid flapping like it was waving goodbye.

She'd been in District Four for five days now. Katniss and her mother had gotten transmissions from her twice, but it was hardly enough to comfort either of them.

_Things are very busy in Four…people are amazing…but the destruction here is very bad…I'm just glad to be able to help as much as I can. All my love—Prim._

_Been working with amazing doctors and learning lots…all the people are so grateful…I know this is what I'm meant to be doing…Hope all is well with you.—Prim._

Katniss had tried several times to be able to have a video chat with Prim, but so far she'd been too busy and the resources in the hospitals were too limited.

"I'm sure she'll talk to us as soon as she's able," Anise told Katniss when she'd found this out.

Katniss turned and looked at her mother like she was an alien. She'd acted detached and aloof about the whole thing, and Kantiss had no idea how a mother could be so removed from the fact that her daughter had just gone off to war.

"What's wrong with you!?" Katniss finally screamed at her mother one day, the stress of Prim and Gale's absence finally getting to her, "Do you even care that you're child's just thrown herself in harm's way? She could die and you're just standing there like nothing's wrong! How can you do that!?"

"I've had a lot of practice," Anise said coolly, cupping Katniss's face with her hand and looking at her with eyes Katniss's couldn't possibly understand. "Come on now, let's get you some tea and something to eat."

.

Katniss was, at least, sometimes able to talk to Gale. Back in her room, she threw her robe around her and put on her slippers, knowing that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep even though the cramp had subsided.

She shuffled down to Beetee's lab. There, he had a secure line to the base where Gale was located in Two, and if she got lucky, she could sometimes speak to him.

She hadn't heard a word from him the first week at all. Gale'd been deep in cover. He and the elite soldiers from Thirteen met up with the other members of the group that'd been assigned to infiltrate the Nut.

They all met in Three. Top fighters were sent in from across all of Panem. Haymitch and Ore each sent four of Thirteen's elite soldiers who'd proven themselves. Lagan Corsair asked three of his best men to also join the squad, and then Johanna said she was going with them.

Lagan, of course didn't want her to, and Gale and his fellow fighters got to see just how much Lagan cared about Johanna.

"I'm getting Finnick out," she said defiantly.

Corsair hated it, but he knew he couldn't tell Johanna what to do. And Finnick was like a brother to him. He just nodded and commanded the elite squad.

The twelve fighters were joined by one more. Her name was Vivian Atill. She was the daughter of a former victor and she was from Two. She'd been trained to be a career her whole life, but she hated the Capitol and everything that it'd done to her and her family. Instead of volunteer like she was supposed to, she ran away and had only resurfaced here.

Vivian had worked hard to prove herself to Corsair, but she had, and he trusted her. She wanted nothing more than to see her district free from the Capitol's control.

"She'll lead you into Two," he told the group, "and get you to the Nut. Once you're inside, you follow Gale Hawthorne's command, do you all hear me?"

The men all nodded, shouting "yes sir!" and Johanna rolled her eyes.

"Johanna," Corsair said sternly, "you follow Atill and then Hawthorne, you hear me?"

She rolled her eyes again and stomped her foot impatiently, but nodded. "What?" she glared at him, "you know I'm not saying 'yes sir'."

"Just be careful, Johanna."

"You know I will be," she said, swinging her axe over her shoulder, "unless the other option's more fun," she added with a wink, and Lagan kissed her.

And then they were off. They hiked through the forests of Two following Vivian's knowledgeable guide. Gale'd been mocked by a few of the soldiers at first. A couple remembered him from his trip to Eight with Katniss, and called him Pretty Boy and Pussy-whipped again. The elite soldiers from Thirteen joked Johanna too, but she threw her axe at one of them, and it landed right below his crotch, so close it slit a hole in his pants and missed his skin by a hair.

None of them said a word against her – and practically even to her – again.

Gale too quickly earned their respect, having saved the lives of five men on their first day in Two when they ran into a Peackeeper patrol. By the time they reached the Nut, they would have followed him even if they hadn't been commanded to.

Gale had studied the maps and blueprints of the Nut in Beetee's lab for ages, searching for a way to destroy all the Capitol's hovercrafts. He finally he didn't need to destroy or even damage them, he just needed to immobilize them, and if he trapped them all inside the Nut, he could do that.

He and his team had to sneak inside the structure, and Gale had figured out that entering in through the airshaft was their best option, and then get to the maintenance area and plant a virus in their computer system that Beetee had written. The virus would make the computer system shut all the doors of the Nut, locking all the hovercrafts in the area inside and making the computers go haywire. This would allow Lagan Corsair and his team enough time to fly over the Nut and drop a few bombs, triggering an avalanche that would keep all the hovercrafts and soldiers trapped inside.

It would also keep Gale and his team trapped inside as well, but that was a problem they'd deal with when they got to it.

Everything had gone perfectly according to plan. They made it into the control room, planted the virus, and watched the computer system break down. Alarms sounded, and Gale ordered his men to immediately head to the air shaft to escape.

But he had to stay behind. He wouldn't leave until he knew the Nut was officially shut down.

When his men realized this, not a one of them left.

"No, sir, we're a team. We only go together."

Not a muscle on Gale's body revealed it—but other than Katniss telling him she loved him, that was probably the second most important thing he'd ever heard in his life.

Even Johanna refused to leave without him.

After a few minutes, Corsair had one of Thriteen's hovercrafts fly over the Nut without being detected or shot down, and drop the bombs.

Gale felt the earth shake and the lights quiver, and for a second, he was back in the mines at Twelve, for a second he was with his father back in the mines in Twelve, and the whole world was crashing down up him.

But reality immediately demanded his attention. Peacekeepers had founded him, and the team engaged in fire.

They lost three men inside the Nut, but they made it to an air shaft and the rest escaped.

Gale and his team lost another two outside the mountain, but by sunset that night, he and the remaining seven members of his team met with Corsair's army which was working on containing the Peacekeepers as they escaped from the Nut.

That night was the first night Gale'd been able to talk to Katniss.

Beetee came and told her that Gale would be able to call them that night, and Katniss ran to his lab.

He'd been gone for five days at that point, and she was desperate to talk to him. She'd wondered if what she was feeling was what Gale felt like when she was in the Games.

"Hey Catnip," he said.

There was bad lighting where he was, and whatever camera he was using made him appear greenish in color. But he was there. And he was alive.

"Hey," she said, already crying, and reaching her fingers to the screen.

They'd been able to talk every few days since then. And no matter how busy things were – fighting the peacekeepers in Two and preparing the invasion of the Capitol – Gale always made time to talk to her.

.

Katniss knocked softly on the door to Beetee's lab now that she arrived. It was late, well past midnight, but Beetee was usually still up.

"Ahh, Miss Everdeen," he said, opening his door. "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head.

"Let me see what Commander Hawthorne is up to," Beetee said with a smile and Katniss shuffled in.

Beetee quickly informed her that Gale was in a meeting at the moment, so Katniss asked if Haymitch was around, and Beetee sent him a message.

"Wow, sweetheart, you're huge!" her old mentor said as he put his earphones on and sat in front of his camera. "What are you having a litter or something?" he said with a rough laugh.

"Ha ha," Katniss said with glaring eyes. She had put on a lot more weight recently. She finally not only reached the recommended weight for someone her age, height, and stage in pregnancy, but had surpassed it by six pounds. She suspected it was because a lot of the refugees had gotten service jobs, so whenever someone recognized her in the kitchen line, they gave her a few extra scoops of food. Katniss told them they didn't have to, but they always said no, she'd brought them food when no one else could, it was the least they could do.

Her conversation with Haymitch was awkward at first, and as always, he refused to say anything that indicated how he was doing.

"God, I could use a drink," he said, lighting a cigarette.

"What? Smokes don't do it for you?"

"What? I'm only allowed one bad habit?" he said puffing at her. "Listen, sweetheart, I need you to do me a favor. I've got a bottle of brandy in my room, hidden under my bed, it's real good stuff. I mean real good. I got it from a friend in the Capitol...I've been saving it for a special occasion, and I'm thinking winning this here war and stopping Snow just might be as special as it gets. I need you to get it for me, okay? Have it ready for me when I get back…"

The gleam Haymitch had in his eyes made Katniss feel bad. He was holding on to that brandy the way Katniss held on to Prim and Gale. She wondered if it was what he thought about when things got rough, if it was what kept him going.

 _Did he dream about holding that brandy the way she dreamt about holding Gale at night?_ She wondered.

"Yeah, I'll bring it to you," she told him with a sad smile.

"Good, cause it's really starting to seem like we'll win this war…" he told her.

And they talked for several more minutes before he had to go.

"I said alright, goddammit, I'll be there," he called over his shoulder.

"Look, sweetheart, I've got to go."

"Okay."

"But hey, before I go, I just want you to, eh, I want you to know I've heard a lot about what your boy's been doing in Two. I'm, eh, it's real impressive. You should be proud."

"I am."

"It's really good work."

"Yeah," Katniss said smiling faintly.

"Yeah, he uh, he just might be good enough for you."

"What?" Katniss said, certain she'd misunderstood her mentor.

Haymitch scratched his red-rimmed eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm just saying, you two deserve each other. I hope you're happy."

"I am," Katniss said, wishing she could say something equally nice back to Haymitch, but not having any idea how to.

"Alright, I've got to go tell these clowns which way to piss or something."

"Okay. Bye, Haymitch."

She heard him scream at someone in the background. "Don't forget about my booze," he told her.

"I won't."

"See ya, sweetheart." And he signed off.

She twirled in her chair and stared at the dull screen in front of her, hoping Beetee wouldn't ask her to leave before Gale got a chance to sign on.

She felt her baby kick when one of the lines from Two blinked alive.

"Is that you, Catnip?" Gale's face suddenly said on the screen before her.

Katniss jumped, eager to accept his call. She placed the headphones over her ears, "Gale!"

"Hey, beautiful, what are you doing up this late?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Isn't it past midnight where you are?"

"Yeah…" Katniss didn't know what else to say and Gale didn't press the issue. "How are things going for you?"

"Good," Gale said. The first few days after they'd taken out the Nut, several of the Peacekeepers had fought back. But Lagan Corsair's army officially subdued them in three days, and then, to everyone surprise, the Mayor of One surrendered unconditionally to Thirteen. The district didn't want to put up any fight, and, since their limited resources were being drained by the Capitol since things had gotten tight with the Rebellion, it'd caused a lot of bad blood between the two cities. The Mayor said they were eager to find the quickest way back to peace.

What he really meant was the quickest way back to comfort, but either way, his surrender had so far proved genuine, and One's forces were cooperating fully. They were now helping tremendously with the excavation of the Nut.

"We're…uh…we're just finishing up some planning..." Gale told her. Katniss knew he meant planning the invasion of the Capitol only couldn't tell her. He couldn't risk giving her any details over the calls, even though they were secure, and Katniss wasn't sure she really even wanted to know. When she'd learned just how dangerous the invasion of the Nut had been after the fact, she'd felt like she was going to faint.

Gale was also leading his team into the Capitol. Katniss knew he felt he had to do it – knew he actually had to do it, so even though she hated it, she didn't fight him about it. She'd gone to her room and cried for hours when she'd first found out, but she didn't tell him that. She didn't want to add to his stress or worry. She just supported him and tried to make things better.

She told him about his family and hers. When she'd first found out about Prim leaving for Four, that dominated most of their conversations and she vented and complained about how ridiculous and insane her sister was, and Gale just listened and comforted her.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Katniss."

"But you don't know that, Gale!"

"There's hardly any fighting going on in Four now…"

Now that she'd calmed down about that, Katniss told Gale about the dinners she had with his mom and siblings, the dinner's she'd had with her mom.

"So, as you can see," she said, moving back so he could fully view her, "I've been eating a lot." She gestured to her stomach.

He laughed. "You look amazing."

"I look like a small whale."

"Emphasis on the small," he joked, and Katniss smiled back, wrapping her arms over her belly. "So, what are we calling her this week?" Gale asked.

Katniss huffed and scowled. "I still haven't found a name I like," she told him, and he had no doubt she'd been looking.

"Do we have a list this week?"

"No," she admitted.

"Not even a top eight?"

"Ug," she sighed, "I've just been too distracted…"

"What's wrong, Catnip?" Gale's voice suddenly grew more serious.

"You mean other than the man I love and my only sister being in war zones?"

"Hey, calm down," he said, sensing her growing tense and upset.

She took a deep breath and tried to refocus, tried not to let her emotions overtake her. "What do you think it'd be like if we were back in Twelve right now?"

Gale and Katniss had started playing a little game. This first time she'd gotten upset, she asked Gale how he was able to deal with everything so well, why he wasn't more upset about the horrible situation they were in.

He smiled and told her that no matter how bad things were, he just realized that things were better this way than any other way.

"What the hell are you talking about!? " Katniss snapped, "anything would be better than this!"

Gale just chuckled and told Katniss what he imagined things would have been like if they'd never found Thirteen and were still out in the woods.

"Anyway," he laughed as he told her about the cave they'd have eventually settled in and he'd stocked with food, "you'd have eventually outgrown all your clothes, and as much as like watching you walk around naked, now that winter's approaching…"

Katniss finally smiled. "Yeah, I guess that'd be a problem."

It's since become a bit of a ritual for them. Katniss asked Gale what he things would have been like if they'd found Twelve again but it hasn't rebelled; what it'd be like if they'd never gotten lost in the woods at all.

Gale's stories were always thorough, and he'd clearly considered each of these situations in full detail. He bitterly told Katniss about how, if Twelve hadn't rebelled, she would have had to tell the world the baby was Peeta's. And Gale honestly didn't know if he'd be able to handle that.

"I mean, I'd have to, because you and my child would probably be killed otherwise, and I'd do anything I'd have to to prevent that. But…"

She could clearly sense his anger rippling under his skin.

"Yes," Katniss agreed, anything was better than that.

On nights when Katniss couldn't sleep, she asked Gale to tell her about one of these scenarios, and it usually put her to sleep. Gale'd keep talking until he was certain she was out, and then he'd sign off and Beetee would eventually come around and put a blanket over Katniss and try to make her comfortable.

"You mean if you'd never gone into the Games?" Gale asked.

"Yeah," Katniss said, folding her arms and setting her head in them.

"Alright," Gale said, "if we were back in Twelve, and you'd never gone to the Games, and you were pregnant, we'd be married and living in a tiny little shack in the Seam…"

"Do you really think I'd have married you?"

He chuckled. "I don't know if you'd have wanted to, but you would have," Gale said with a bit of a laugh. "Otherwise we wouldn't be able to live together."

Katniss half snorted, admitting to his point but not liking it.

"It'd be a tiny, rickety little home. I'd have mended the leaky roof by now, and fixed the drafts in the door..."

Katniss couldn't help but notice how in each of these imagined scenarios, Gale had confidently prepared everything.

"But it'd be getting really cold there now, and I'd be working overtime to make sure you had enough food and heat…"

"No," Katniss said, already sounding drowsy, "I wouldn't let you do that…"

"I wouldn't let you stop me," Gale said definitively. "You wouldn't be able to hunt anymore, and even if I spent all day every Sunday out in the woods, it wouldn't be enough…"

"Fine," Katniss mumbled, "so this really is our best option."

"It's better than most."

"Are you coming back soon?"

"Yeah," he said smiling. He could tell she was falling asleep.

"Good. Because I miss you."

"I miss you too, Catnip."

"And I..." her words slurred into a mumble.

"I love you too," he said, watching her for just a few moments longer before signing off.

…..

That week, Gale, Corsair's army, and reinforcements from Ore's division and Thirteen attacked the Capitol.

Snow had sent every last bit of his power into protecting the perimeter, and the fighting there was brutal for about a week. The Captiol's army had booby trapped the streets. It was filled with bombs and pods and other forms of attack to kill whoever passed.

On Gale's third day there, he watched a crowd of fleeing Capitolites turn to ash as they were obliterated by one of the pods meant to kill the Rebel Army.

Gale never thought he'd feel bad for someone from the Capitol, but as he watched the family run out into the street, clutching their most prized possessions, clutching each other, evaporate, Gale was shocked at how awful he felt for them. Even though their hair and skin were wild, crazy colors, their eyes had all been wide with fear when they died.

Hot hatred flashed his face, and for the first time, he thought that they might have been just as much victims of the system as he and Katniss were. He knew he'd do anything he had to to tear that system down.

Gale then watched three more of his fellow soldiers die, and he threw himself into understanding Snow's system for killing. Gale noticed some of the patterns Snow used to plant the bombs and pods, and after he'd relayed the information to Corsair, the Rebels were able to avoid them at a much higher success rate.

As the army made its way into the Capitol, Gale and his team broke off on their mission. They weren't just helping invade the Capitol like Corsair's army, they were going after Snow.

He, Johanna, and six others – only four of whom had been in the original squad – headed towards the President's mansion, and their mission was to capture Snow. Dead or alive.

.

Katniss was an increasing wreck with Prim and Gale gone, and she could hardly sleep she was so worried about Gale. Katniss didn't want to admit it, but she asked her mother to stay with her at night.

"Can you just stay with me, mom, until I fall asleep?"

"Of course dear," Anise said, and she stayed with her daughter all night.

Anise also had Katniss take a birthing class, which Katniss hated, firmly refusing to think about how her child would be born.

The woman who taught the class asked Katniss what her birthing plan was, and Katniss stared at her blankly. "I need a plan?"

"Why, yes dear, or course!" the little old lady said.

"Umm, I mean, I plan on having the baby. It'll eventually get out, right? Isn't that how it works?"

The other three women who were in the class with her all shook their heads.

"Here, my dear, read this," the instructor said, handing Katniss a pamphlet.

Katniss opened the paper and saw a diagram of a baby passing though the birth canal, shuddered, and tossed the brochure aside.

"I'm pretty sure the baby will come out when she's ready. That's how it works, right?" she later told her mother at dinner.

"That's a simplified version of it," Anise said as she sliced her carrots, "but generally, yes. I do think you should keep going to that class."

"Alright ," Katniss said, knowing full well she'd never return.

She'd firmly decided that she wasn't having the baby until Gale got back, and she wasn't going to think about it until then.

"Hey, mom, what do you think of the name Iris?" Katniss said, changing the topic.

"Iris? That's a pretty name."

"Yeah, Cinna's husband actually suggested it to me."

Katniss had lunch with Cinna and his partner, Roco, the other day. They'd just agreed to adopt a pair of twin girls who'd been orphaned from Six.

"I don't know why I agreed to this," Cinna said, shaking his head and wrestling one of their twin boys into his seat while his brother threw his food onto the floor.

Roco patted him on the back and smiled.

Katniss suggested they name one of the girls Artemis. She still really liked that name, but agreed it wasn't right for her child.

Cinna said he liked that name, but they'd already named the girls.

"Esperanza and Esmeralda," Roco beamed. "Have you found a name yet?"

Katniss frowned and shook her head. That's when Roco suggested Iris.

"I think I really like it," Katniss told her mom, "It ends in an S sound like my name. And I really wanted a plant name, since that's the tradition in Twelve."

Anise nodded. "The iris is a beautiful flower. Some used to grow by that lake in the forest outside of Twelve. Your father brought some too me when we started dating."

Katniss smiled. She detail made her feel even more connected to the name. She grew excited, and she couldn't wait to tell Gale and see what he thought of the name when a loud bell rang throughout Thirteen.

Katniss's heart jumped to her throat and fear gripped her heart. She grabbed her mother's hand, certain Thriteen was being bomb and waited for the ceilings to start shaking and the ground to crumble in.

But that didn't happen. Everyone in the cafeteria froze as a piercing beep rang through the room again, awaiting instruction.

"Citizens of District Thirteen," a voice rang loud and clear, "Fellow Residents and Welcomed Guests…"

Katniss realized that this wasn't an automated message signaling some sort of alarm, but an announcement. And it was coming from Coin herself.

"This is your president speaking, and I'm here to tell you that we've just received news that our soldiers in the Capitol have apprehended Coriolanus Snow and his forces have surrendered. The war is over. And we've won."

If President Coin said anything after that, no one could hear. Celebration erupted throughout the dining room, and all of Thirteen. Men threw their hats in the air, children jumped and shouted, women fell into hugs.

Katniss even grabbed her own mother in her arms, and the two women embraced jubilantly.

.

The next few days were chaotic in Thirteen. Nearly everything came to a halt as the people all celebrated. Katniss was shocked, and also amused, at how its citizens – who had always been so regimented, so organized, so obedient – let loose after so many years of living quietly, carefully, and afraid.

Katniss didn't join in any of the celebration. She'd been called into Plutarch's office and was instructed for the public appearance she'd be making.

She'd done a few publicity pieces while Gale'd been away. It turned out that Plutarch and the publicity team had come up with very good ways to spin Katniss's story.

They released interviews of her in the Capitol, One, Five, Six, and the more stable, previously more Capitol-supporting Districts, where she talked about how she slowly changed her position and feelings about the rebellion, how she let go of Peeta, how she fell in love with Gale. Hers was a message of acceptance and understanding that Coin and her advisors though was crucial in this time of change, especially in Districts where alliance had been so deeply divided.

Katniss and Gale's love story turned out to be the most appealing narrative, however. And the people, especially in One, were swept up in her romance. It was just what they needed to distract the populations who were so accustomed to luxury and comfort. It kept their minds off the food rationing and energy blackouts.

In the Districts more heavily damaged by the war, they focused on her and the baby, focusing on themes of growth and birth and hope. Since these districts had always seen Katniss as a rebel, they had no problem supporting her love affair with a fellow soldier, and Plutarch even had to produce a few pieces all about Gale as his popularity rose in the public as well. People demanded to know more about him.

Snow was defeated three days ago, and Thirteen was preparing for its first official address to the now free nation. Coin was going to talk from in front of the ruined Justice Building that the Capitol had used in its propaganda about Thirteen for so long. She wanted all of the important rebel figures to be with her, but they needed a few days to get things settled and arrive.

Ore, Haymitch, Corsair, Johanna, and the recently-rescued Finnick Odair were all arriving later in the week once they'd secured their districts. But Gale and the other elite soldiers were arriving that morning.

Katniss could barely contain herself she was so excited. It'd been almost two months since she'd last seen Gale, and two full weeks since she'd last spoken to him.

He sent her a message the day after they'd captured Snow, but wasn't able to talk since things were so chaotic in the Capitol, and he and his team stayed to make sure Snow was not only secure, but also that peace was restored to this streets.

"Ahh, Katniss," Plutarch said as she took a seat in his office. Cressida and Ms. Fields were also with him. "Liberty certainly seems to be agreeing with you."

She wasn't sure what he meant by that, but assumed it was supposed to be a compliment.

"As you know, we'll be filming your reunion today."

Katniss nodded.

"And this is going to be a very important scene in the context of your narrative."

Katniss didn't even know what he meant by that, all she wanted was to be able to see Gale.

"I've prepared this script for you," he said, sliding a sheet of paper to her.

Katniss tried not to roll her eyes as she took it.

"Oh, for the love of god," Cressida said, enunciating each word slowly, "would you cut it out."

Plutarch looked at her, hurt and dumbfounded.

"You know she's going to give us what we need. And she's better unscripted anyhow."

Plutarch shook his head like he didn't quite know what she was talking about, but he finally rolled his head, conceding. He both hated and admired how Katniss could do her job without him.

"Oh, well, yes, I suppose she's right," he smiled at Katniss wistfully "old habits, you know? I guess that's everything. We'll see you above ground in an hour after Cinna's done dressing you?"

Katniss nodded as Cressida and Fields left the room. She was much slower at getting up these days, and had to heave herself out of the chair. She just hoped that whatever outfit Cinna had planned for her would fit—there wasn't much that did these days.

"Oh, and one more thing, Mrs. Hawthorne, before I forget…" Plutarch said, reaching into his coat pocket.

Katniss hadn't even realized Gale's mom was in the room, she'd been so preoccupied with her own excitement about his return. But she supposed it made sense that Plutarch wanted to film Gale's family's reaction to his return, especially considering his rising popularity in the media.

But as Katniss looked around the room, she realized she and Plutarch were alone.

He slid the folded sheet of paper he'd pulled out of his jacket across the table to her. "I figured since the whole nation now knows you're together…"

Katniss ran to Plutarch and folded him into a bit, albeit awkward, hug, and a few tears spilled over her eyes.

The sheet on the table was her marriage license. And it'd been approved.

He gave out a bit of a startled sound as she grabbed him, but he returned her hug.

"I told you I'd find you a name better than 'The Mother of Hope', didn't I?" he laughed, holding her squarely on the shoulders and pulling her away.

She looked at him with utter gratefulness, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Plutarch, thank you! I don't even know what to say. This means so much…"

"Now, now," he awkwardly patted her on the back and uncomfortable with her emotions. "Don't go getting too worked up. You've got to be camera ready in less than an hour."

Katniss laughed and wiped away her tears.

Plutarch then stuck out his hand and took hers. "Katniss, it's been a great many things working with you," he said, remembering the time she'd shot an arrow at him in the first Games, remembering all the times he'd watched her on TV and been transfixed, remembering all the times she'd cursed at him as they'd worked together in Thirteen. "It's been a great many things," he said, "but above all else, it's been an honor."

He shook her hand firmly, respectfully, and then turned to leave.

.

When Gale's hovercraft arrived, Katniss forgot the instructions Cressida had given her about where to stand so the camera could get the best angle, to try and be aware of the lighting. When the doors opened and she watched him and his fellow soldiers march out, Katniss just ran to him.

"Oh my god, Gale!" she screamed, rushing into his arms.

He was barely able to catch her, but her grabbed her and pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss. "Hey, Catnip," he said, holding her face in his hands and brushing the tears off her cheeks.

She buried her face into him and he hugged her as the other men from his team ran into their families' open arms.

"You're back."

"Yeah," he said, hugging her tightly, his hands running up and down her back, "I'm back."

Cressida got more than enough shots of the pair and the other returning men, and she shot a short video of Katniss babbling about how happy and proud she was while Gale was checking into and returning his weapons and equipment to the army headquarters.

Most of what Katniss said was incoherent as she was so emotional. Cressida finally let her go, certain she could scrap together something useful, and certain that she wasn't going to get anything better.

"Maybe I should have let Plutarch write her a script this time," she laughed to herself as she watched Katniss awkwardly bounce inside.

There, the couple met back at their room.

"Gale," she jumped up with equal enthusiasm when he returned to their door. "I can't believe you're back," she said, peppering his face with kisses.

Now free of his restrictive uniform and heavy equipment, Gale scooped Katniss up in his arms – admittedly surprised by how much weight she'd gained – and led her to their bed.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, wiping the tears from her eyes again.

"I know, I just can't believe…" she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "And you're okay?" she said, finally coming up for air.

"I am now," Gale said, brushing the tears and hair out of her face, knowing that all the horrors he'd seen over the past two months were over, knowing all the hard work was worth it now that he and Katniss were safe and free.

"I mean, really, you didn't get hurt or anything?" she immediately began looking him over, searching his hands, his arms, his neck…

"I'm fine, I promise," Gale told her. "Now, let me see you."

Katniss felt herself blushing just a little as she helped Gale removed the many layers Cinna had dressed her in to hide the enormity of her stomach.

He unwrapped the thick loose scarf she had around her neck, helped her peel off her big, outer jacket, and then the vest.

When he finally got to her last layer, Gale dropped to his knees, sliding his hands under her shirt to cup her stomach and kissed it, leaning his forehead against her.

"How is everything? Are you feeling okay? Is the baby…"

"Yeah, we're fine. Or, as well as we can be considering I'm eight months pregnant," Katniss grumbled, hoisting herself on the bed.

Gale slid in next to her and pulled her body next to her, pushing his arm under her neck and holding her tightly to him.

"Can we just stay like this," she said, stifling a yawn, "just for a while."

He kissed her on the forehead and rubbed her skin softly. "Katniss, we can stay like this for as long as you want."


	42. Chapter 42

Gale'd been back at Thirteen for five days now. He spent the first two days doing almost nothing but sleeping. Katniss couldn't believe how tired he was, and wondered what really happened when he was in the Capitol. Gale didn't tell her though, and she didn't ask. She just curled up tightly next to him, holding on to him and supporting him as best she could.

Katniss's patience and excitement waned after the first few days, and she began to grow irritated with Gale. He didn't take it personally because she was irritated with just about everyone and everything. She'd blatantly upset Cinna's husband the night before, and Plutarch directly told Gale to keep Katniss away from President Coin.

He tried to say it delicately, politely at first but failed. "Look, I just don't need her offending the President right now, okay?"

"Okay," Gale said, knowing how upset Katniss was with Coin because her sister was still out volunteering in the field. He honestly didn't know what Katniss might say or do to the woman, and since he'd been given several days of leave after returning, he could keep Katniss away.

But keeping her occupied was a different task entirely. Gale tried to get Katniss to go to the birthing classes with him, but she flatly refused.

She'd woken up twice with sharp contractions – terrifying him and making him think she was going into labor – but she assured him they were normal and nothing to worry about.

"Are you sure?" he asked frantically, ready to pick her up and carry her to the hospital wing.

"Yes," she said through gritted teeth, "now calm down."

"Okay," Gale said, pacing, "what can I do?"

"Calm down," she growled.

Gale had since read every piece of literature he could find about labor and child birth.

Last night was one of the contractions, and Katniss could hardly fall asleep afterwards.

"Just go to bed," she told him, still sitting up and rubbing her stomach. Gale'd needed a lot of rest after returning from the war, he didn't leave Katniss alone at night.

"Come here," he said, putting his arm around her and pulling her to his chest. She tried as best as she could to curl next to him, but her stomach got in the way.

Gale slid his hand under her shirt and gently rubbed her back. "Feel better?"

She nodded into his shoulder. "Yeah."

"Okay," he kissed her forehead and kept messaging her gently, hoping it would put her to sleep, but after several minutes, she sighed irritably.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just so tired of this!" she exclaimed, flopping on her back.

"Hey, it's okay…"

"No, it's not!" she swatted his hand away from her. "Sorry," she said after taking a deep breath. She knew she was being emotional and irrational. She'd managed to keep it together for the first two days Gale was home. She let him rest, enjoyed dinners with his family and hers, but she finally couldn't keep her nerves under control anymore.

Her mind spiraled and she freaked out and worried over just about everything. Gale almost wished she hadn't found a name she liked yet, so she could funnel all her energy that way. Because now, she was constantly pacing the room, reorganizing and redecorating. One morning, it took him 15 minutes to find his socks (she'd hung them all on a hanger in the closet), but then he still couldn't leave because he couldn't find his shoes (she'd put them on top of the wardrobe – he didn't even know how she managed to get up there because it was far taller than him).

Gale's mother told him at lunch this was called _nesting_ and it was common in the second half of pregnancy. Gale realized that Katniss's obsession with _the perfect name_ – among other things like the way she now insisted upon folding socks – were all probably a symptom of this need to organize and prepare for their baby.

However, despite Katniss's body and behavior all signaling that their child would arrive soon, she still firmly refused to acknowledge the fact. She still wouldn't look at any of the materials her mother gave her or go to the birthing class, even when Gale asked to go with her.

"I don't really want to go tonight," she said, reclining on the bed, "maybe next week."

"Katniss."

"I just don't have the energy."

Gale frowned and straightened in seriousness. "Katniss, there might not be a next week."

"Of course there'll be a next week, Gale," she chuckled, as she threw her feet up on the bed, "what? Do you think the world is going to end or something?"

"No. But I think you might go into labor before then."

Katniss's demeanor immediately changed and she lost the light of her laugh. She scoffed, as if Gale was suggesting the ridiculous.

"Katniss, I just think—"

"Would you look at this food?" she said, flipping through another book she'd found in the library. It was full of glossy images of foods that people used to eat.

"Katniss," Gale said, sitting next to her and pulling the magazine out of her hand.

"If I can't eat food, you can at least let me look at it."

"I'm serious."

"I know. That's why I'm ignoring you," she said, trying to snatching back for the magazine. Gale extended his arm up and held it higher than she could reach.

She glared at him.

"Katniss," he said with a heavy breath, trying to figure out how best to broach this topic, "don't you think—"

"No, Gale, I don't want to think about anything other than food, so please," she reached again.

"Alright, what's wrong?" Gale settled into bed next to her, sliding one strong arm under her and pulling her towards him.

"Nothing's wrong, Gale, why do you always ask me that?"

"Katniss," he said in his most paternalistic tone. It was the voice he used when things needed to get done, when people had to listen to him and shouldn't argue. It was the tone he mostly used with his siblings and rarely used with Katniss. His brothers knew it was futile to argue; Katniss didn't care.

Gale was using this tone because he was scared—not that he'd admit it. But he handled his fear by being prepared, by learning as much as he could so he could not only know but handle what was coming next.

It's how he learned to hunt, how he learned to work in the mines, and it was how he was going to be a father.

He'd already read every piece of literature he could get his hands on about pregnancy and birth—but none of it seemed to be enough.

Perhaps, he realized, men experienced some sort of nesting too.

Gale pulled her legs over him and began to rub them gently.

"I mean, what more do you need to know, Gale? The baby's going to come out when she's ready...and there are doctors and hospitals and stuff here to help…and I'm pretty sure it isn't going to be pleasant, so I don't really want to think about it…"

"Alright," he relented, trying to let those facts reassure him as he handed her back the magazine.

"Can you even imagine eating this stuff," Katniss said, her attention back to the food.

Gale leaned in and looked. It looked fake to him; not particularly appetizing. "That looks kind of like plastic."

"And delicious," Katniss said, flipping the page.

"Aren't you even a little bit worried?" Gale said after listening to her talk for several minutes about cherries.

"About what?"

"I don't know," Gale said, throwing up his hands, "the future?"

"When have I been known to worry about anything other than food?" Katniss said without looking up from her magazine.

Gale smiled slightly. It was true; Katniss had never really thought about the future much—beyond the food they'd need to get through the winter. But other than that…

"Have you even thought about it?" She asked offhandedly, flipping another page.

"Oh, I don't know," Gale said, taking his chin in his palm. But he had. Gale'd thought about the future a lot. He thought about how'd he try and join a rebellion, start a rebellion, how he'd fight in one, perhaps die in one. He thought about that a few times more than he'd ever let anyone know. On days when he was working deep in the mines, on days when he was dying deep in the mines—choking in thick clouds of air, barely able to move because his body was so sore, barely able to stay awake because his was so tired on hungry. There are better ways to die than this, he thought.

"I'd like to be a farmer," he said, his mind now distant from those dark thoughts.

"What?" Katniss laughed.

"I mean," he said, rubbing her legs tenderly, "It'd be nice to be outside, under an open sky, fresh air…"

Katniss knew how much he'd enjoy that. "I guess it'd be like hunting."

"Yeah," Gale agreed, "just…" He didn't want to say less violent or destructive because he didn't think of hunting in those terms. He'd had to kill to survive, so that's what he did. It was just the laws of nature. But he still couldn't deny that there was something more appealing about creating life rather than taking it for food. And even though he couldn't explain it, that's why farming appealed to him.

"What about you, Catnip? Have you ever thought about what you want from life—"

"You know I haven't," she said with a laugh. Katniss never thought about the future much. Never thought about what she wanted. She never really wanted much of anything, she realized as she mulled this over. She let her hand wander up under the fabric of his shirt, she traced soft lines on his skin and watched as his eyes closed for a second, savoring the sensation.

Her mind drifted back to the distant day before her sister was reaped and she went off to fight in the Games. She remembered Gale sat next to her, eyes locked on the horizon, taking in all of its infinite possibility, allowing himself to consider, if only for a few moments, that things might get better.

Katniss never thought that way. It was a wasted effort, in her opinion. All she cared about was taking care of those she loved—and that was all she cared about now. She laughed as she realized how little things had changed for her; how little she wanted them too.

"You know," she chuckled and Gale looked down at her. "I think I want to be a mom. In fact," she laughed harder this time, drawing a curious look from Gale, "I think I've always wanted to be mom."

"Oh yeah?" Gale asked, remembering how vociferously she'd spoken against the idea of having kids before, how upset she was when she first found out she was pregnant, how long it took her to warm up to the idea of having a kid.

"I mean, I've always just wanted to take care of those I love. My mom, Prim, you…I've never wanted to do anything else, and I still don't want to, honestly. I think I would have wanted to have a kid someday. I'm not sure I would have, if there'd still be the threat of the Games, or if I was still starving in Twelve, but this," she said, her hand circling her stomach, "this is probably all I ever wanted."

Gale couldn't put into words how much hearing that meant to him, so he didn't try and instead just leaned down to kiss her. For a long time, he'd felt guilty about getting her pregnant, guilty that he might have forced Katniss into a life she didn't really want, and she'd just lifted that all off of him.

* * *

"Hey beautiful," Gale said, kneeling down by the side of their bed, "it's time to wake up."

Katniss moaned and swatted his hand away.

Gale hated having to wake her; he knew how badly she'd been sleeping recently, but today was the President's speech. It was the last appearance Gale and Katniss would have to make. Gale hoped ever, but he wasn't naïve enough to expect that. He knew how much buzz Plutarch was gaining from broadcasting their romance and pregnancy news, and he knew Plutarch would milk that for everything it was worth. Gale tried to console himself in knowing that it was helping the people have hope in something, but Gale honestly thought they should hope in themselves rather than look for it in other people.

"It doesn't work that way," Katniss told him one night as he was complaining about it.

"Why the hell not?"

"I don't know," she said indifferently, "it just doesn't. Will you tie my shoe?"

.

"Come on, Katniss, we've got to get ready."

"No," she turned over and pulled the blanket over her head.

It took Gale several more minutes, but Gale finally got Katniss out of bed, into the shower, and to breakfast.

"How much longer to we have to be here?" she said grumpily as she sloshed her spoon through her oatmeal.

Gale's hand covered his chin for a moment. The rebellion had caused a lot of destruction, and a good part of Twelve was still ruined. "It's going to be a little while longer."

"I want to go home," she whined.

Gale could tell Katniss wasn't in a good mood this day. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead and pushed some of his food her way.

"No," Katniss stopped him, suddenly feeling bad. "I'm not that hungry this morning anyway."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she huffed, "I've just got a severe case of pregnancy."

"Just another week or two," Gale said, comfortingly rubbing her back.

"Yeah," she huffed, "that's what my mom says."

Katniss looked grudgingly down at her overly large stomach. Her chair was pushed back farther from the table than she normally sat, and it was still rubbing up against the table.

"Yeah…"

When they finished eating, they went off to get dressed for the President's address. Gale'd wore his military uniform, and since he'd been promoted and awarded a few metals and stripes for his valor in battle, he now had a dress uniform at was all decked out.

Katniss was put in a large, winter cloak. She felt it made her look more like a princess than a warrior, but it did a decent job of hiding the enormity of her stomach, and it kept her remarkably warm, which she appreciated. It was December now, and she was often cold.

"And anyway," Cinna told when she complained she looked too pretty, "you're not the Mockingjay anymore but the…"

"Mother of Hope," she said, half grumbling. She was starting to like that name less than Plutarch was.

"Have you seen Haymitch yet?" Cinna asked her.

"No," she said, her voice suddenly sharp.

"He got in late last night."

"How is he?"

Cinna just looked at her tenderly and shrugged.

Katniss suddenly remembered the alcohol she'd promised to bring Haymitch and asked to leave a few minutes early to fetch it.

.

Gale was waiting for Katniss at the elevator lift.

"Hey, Gale, wow…"

She'd never seen him in the dress uniform before, and even Katniss had to admit, he looked handsome—very handsome.

"Wow, um, you look really…" Since Katniss wasn't one for giving compliments, this didn't come naturally to her, and before she could find her words, Johanna came stomping up behind her.

Johanna refused to wear anything special, so she was wearing her combat uniform which she had unzipped to about her navel, Katniss thought, and she was revealing a fair amount of cleavage. Johanna was also still toting her battle axe, which she currently had draped across her shoulders.

Johanna was clearly as impressed, if not more, by Gale's appearance.

"You certainly know how to put the _hot_ in _Hawt-_ thorne," she said, affecting her voice for emphasis. "Or is it Mr. Mockingjay now? You guys are hitched, right?"

Gale just nodded.

"You're lucky I'm not a superficial woman, Laggie," she said back to Corsair who was rolling himself in. He was still in a wheelchair and Katniss could see his skin was badly burned. "Or I might be tempted by something so fine," Johanna said, but Corsair ignored her.

"Hawthorne," he said, stretching out his hand. Gale took it firmly.

Katniss didn't know much about their relationship, but she could tell they greatly respected each other.

"And what are you supposed to be?" Johanna said with an arched eyebrow. "A princess?"

"Shut up, Johanna," Katniss said crossly, and Johanna just laughed.

"Is Finnick coming?" She asked Corsair.

"Not today," he answered severely. Finnick was in Thirteen, but he was still recovering from his torture in the Capitol.

"God, when's he going to get over himself?"

"Johanna." Corsair's voice was as sharp as a knife.

"Oh, Laggie, you know I'm just kidding. Finnick and I are good buds. We go way back. Anyway, It's kind of romantic. He and Annie are a matching pair now."

"What do you mean?" Katniss asked.

"They're both twitchy," Johanna said, scrunching her noise like a rabbit's.

When the elevator door opened to the outside, a gush of cold air hit Katniss, and she immediately pulled her cloak around her and Gale stepped near her and pulled her close. Johanna handed her axe to Corsair and wheeled him out. Katniss wasn't sure what to make of the pair.

"I think she really likes him," she said to Gale as they passed.

"Yeah," Gale said, remembering how they interacted when he saw them in Four. "He likes her too."

Plutarch was waiting for them in front of the ruined Justice Building, and he arranged everyone accordingly. Katniss looked around for Haymitch, and when she didn't see him, she just took her seat. She overheard Johanna threaten to slice off a guard's nose when he asked her to leave her axe behind.

"Ma'am, there are no weapons allowed on stage—"

"Do I look like I fucking care what's allowed on stage," she began to roar when Corsair's voice cracked like a whip.

"Johanna," he commanded, "just do what the man asks."

Corsair managed to both sound authoritative and weary. Even though he was in a wheelchair and still covered in bandages and burn-scars, he seemed like the most powerful man on the stage.

To Katniss's surprise, Johanna complied and plopped down in the seat next to her.

"One day that man's gonna have to learn I'm not one of his soldiers," she huffed, pulling a knife from her boot and began cleaning her nails.

"Then why do you listen to him?" Katniss asked.

"Because he's really good in bed," Johanna giggled as she brought the blade up to her lips.

Katniss wasn't certain, but she thought she saw Johanna lick it. She was about to ask how Johanna wasn't cold with her chest practically falling out when attention was called and President Coin appeared.

Plutarch came told everybody what to do. He rambled on until he noticed that everyone in a uniform was staring at him threateningly. His audience was almost entirely professional military members. They did not need – or appreciate – being directed like children.

"Ahh, right," he laughed nervously when he picked up on their animosity, "well then, let me just get to the point. Johanna, Katniss, and Haymitch…where the hell is Haymitch?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Katniss's heart leap as she saw her mentor for the first time in months. Immediately sank as she saw him nearly stumble on the stage, and she wondered if he was already drunk. She felt guilty for carrying his liquor in her pocket and wondered if she should just throw it away.

"Alright," Plutarch said, his eyes passing over Katniss, Johanna, and Haymitch, "you three just sit there and don't say anything at all."

Johanna opened her mouth to retort but Plutarch was faster than her.

"Don't say anything at all."

She just rolled her eyes.

.

An audience of poured in before the stage. Hundreds of people, almost everyone in Thirteen, assembled to see the President address the nation.

Katniss was actually impressed by the first part of the President's speech—it wasn't an emotional call for hope or anything as insubstantial as that. Instead, she spoke in certain terms:

"We have a lot of work ahead of us, we not only have to build a new nation but rebuild our homes and our lives, and I won't pretend that it's going to be easy, or even fun, but I will tell you that we can do it. We can do anything if we work together, that I know. And I will tell you it'll be worthwhile. We have the opportunity before us to change this land. Our ancestors had this opportunity once before, and they chose to make things good for the few by making it hard for the rest. They forged certainty through cruelty and turned suffering into sport. This is a mistake we cannot afford to repeat."

The crowd erupted into applause at that.

"We have the opportunity before us to change this land," Coin repeated, "and I'm here today to ask you – all of you – for your help to change it to something better for us all."

.

People stayed above ground when the President's speech ended. The oldest people from Thirteen took their children and grandchildren around, showing them buildings they remembered, places they'd heard their parents tell them about when they lived on the surface.

Gale met with his friends from the military and enthusiastically introduced Katniss to them. She could tell how much they meant to him, and they could see how much she meant to him.

As the men and women from the military told stories – the ones they had they could laugh about – Katniss found herself looking for Haymitch. When she found him sitting by himself on some steps she told Gale she'd be back.

"Alright," he told her, "I think we're going inside soon. They've got some food and drinks to celebrate."

"Okay. I'll come find you."

She stepped up to kiss him and then went over to her mentor.

Haymitch was sitting on the side steps of the Justice Building. He was turned away from the crowd, staring into the forest, his gaze but intent and unfocused at once. He looked like he was staring at a field of ghosts, Katniss thought, eyes moving as if he were watching something. There was nothing before him—nothing tangible, anyway. But Katniss knew that didn't mean the ghosts weren't real.

She was reminded about how she felt when she returned from the Games. She wanted to say something to tell Haymitch it'd get better. But she remembered how she felt when Prim had said that to her. How a flash of hot hatred ripped through her—it was the only negative thought she'd ever had against her sister. She knew her sister meant well. It just didn't matter to her at the time.

It hurt her to know that nothing she could say would probably matter to Haymitch now, so instead she just pulled the bottle from her pocket and tossed it to him.

"Don't ever say I don't do what you tell me."

A bark of a laugh came from Haymitch as he looked at her. "Well, I'll be damned. It really is a new day, isn't it?"

He took the bottle and opened it, bringing the dark liquid up to his nose and taking it in. It clearly affected him.

Katniss just sat next to him, for a long time, watching him, studying him, waiting for him to say something, to do something, to take a drink. She didn't mind the silence, and it was nice to feel the sun on her skin, be next to an old friend.

Haymitch finally took another sniff. "That's damn good stuff," he said, his voice certain and reverent.

There was another long silence, and she finally asked. "Have you heard anything…Do you know about…"

"Peeta?"

"Yeah." She waited a moment and added, "And Effie."

"Ha. Effie's smarter than she looked. Her loyalty to the Capitol disappeared when it was no longer convenient for her. I know," he said, looking to Katniss, "I'm just as shocked as you."

Katniss couldn't help herself, she laughed.

"I'm sure she's fine though, laying low, pretending to be some poor refugee somewhere."

"Yeah," Katniss said hollowly. She didn't have much respect for Effie, but she knew how hard it was to lose your whole world, your whole life. She couldn't help but feel bad.

"Peeta's…he's…" Haymitch rubbed his chin, "he's fine. Still in the Capitol, in custody, but he'll be okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, a lot of people aren't very happy with him right now. And he'll certainly have some explaining to do, but," Haymitch let out a rough laugh, "if there's one thing our Peeta's good at…"

"It's explaining himself," Katniss whispered.

Haymitch met her eyes, and they both just shared a moment and then nodded.

"You want a sip?" he said, passing the bottle to her.

"Haymitch," she said, looking down at her stomach.

"What? You can't drink with the baby?"

"Nope."

"Damn, sweetheart." Haymitch brought the bottle back to himself. "That sucks."

"Not really," Katniss said with a small laugh. "Now, you don't have to share. I know how excited you are about that stuff, drink up."

"Yeah," Haymitch said, finally bringing the bottle up to his lips. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, like he was getting ready for a kiss.

But he didn't take a drink.

Katniss watched him for moments, but Haymitch didn't do it. He couldn't.

"Aww, damn it," he said, swinging the bottle away from him, spilling and sloshing some of its contents. "You know, I wanted nothing more than to drink every damn day for longer than I can remember…and now…"

He started at Katniss almost angrily as she waited, wondering what had set him off.

"And now," he said suddenly faintly, "I can't do it anymore."

"Why?" she asked, watching her friend who looked like he was breaking.

"I guess," Haymitch said like he didn't really understand, "I don't need to."

Haymitch thrust the bottle into Katniss's hands, made a sloppy excuse of an exit and walked away.

Katniss corked the bottle and slid it back into her pocket and wondered what was going on with Haymitch, if this change would last.

Katniss wasn't quite sure, but she hoped it would.

She finally got up, growing uncomfortable sitting for so long. Several people were still outside. Excited children from Thirteen who'd never been above ground before were playing in the leaves for the first time, turning their faces to the sun.

Katniss couldn't help but feel emotional and decided to stay and watch.

* * *

Below ground, Gale was with his friends and fellow soldiers celebrating. Special food was ordered and no one reported the jugs of homemade moonshine that were brought in – even though they were strictly prohibited – and the men and women talked and laughed and remembered the good times they'd had, and they stopped to remember the hard battles they'd fought, the good friends they'd lost.

Gale was a little surprised when the alcohol started to affect him and had to stop toasting, so he went and talked to his friends.

"Haymitch, finally!" Johanna said, jumping into his arms. "Here, have a drink!" she said, pushing a cup in his hands.

"Nah, I'm okay."

"Alright," Johanna said, shooting it herself.

Haymitch and Corsair met each other formally for the first time. They respectfully shook hands and then awkwardly tried to find a conversation that didn't involve the war.

"Did Katniss come down with you?" Gale asked.

"What? Oh, no. She's still outside."

Gale looked at the time and frowned. It'd been two hours since the announcement ended. He didn't like her being gone that long.

"Alright, guys, I'll be back," he said grabbing a friend's shoulder.

"Oh, come on, Hawthorne, that woman of yours can take care of herself."

Gale just smiled; he knew that was right. It just didn't mean he wasn't going to check on her.

A couple of his friends cackled, whispering jokes under their breaths as Gale left.

When Gale got to the surface, he smiled as Katniss had at seeing all the people happily celebrating their freedom. He saw the same kids playing and families exploring the buildings as he scanned for Katniss.

Gale frowned when he didn't see her, and finally walked up to one of the guards working. "Have you seen a pregnant woman with dark braided hair around here?"

"You mean the Mother of Hope and Mockingjay?" the young soldier laughed; everyone knew who she was.

Gale smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. She went for a walk in that direction about an hour ago."

Gale's smile immediately dropped and panic clutched his heart. "She what?"

"She went for a walk in that direction," the young man said, gesturing towards the forest.

"And you let her?"

"There aren't any rules about not walking in the forest now," the soldier explained, but he could sense Gale's growing anger. "And it's not like it's dangerous…"

Gale swore loudly. He wanted to stay and reprimand the guard, but he didn't want to waste any time. He immediately ran off in the direction the soldier had pointed.

Luckily, Katniss's tracks were easy for Gale to trace, and he was able to follow her path quickly. She'd walked a short distance and looped back when she was losing sight of Thirteen. But then she'd decided to head out again and go further. Gale swore to himself as he found her second set of tracks and imagined what she was thinking; how she first made the responsible decision and turned back when she reached the ridge where Thirteen was no longer visible, but then grew confident with her understanding of her surroundings and decided to go a bit farther.

"Damn it, Katniss," he said as he broke into a jog and traced her steps deep into the forest.

.

"Katniss!" Gale practically screamed when he saw her. "Oh my god, are you okay? What's wrong? What happened?"

Katniss was sitting by the base of a tree. She waved a Gale frantically and shushed him. "Gale, would you shut up?"

"What's wrong?"

"Go look over that ridge."

"What?"

"Be quiet!" she said in a fierce whisper and pointed. "Damn it, Gale, I'm fine," she said, finally registering his worry, "now would you just do it?"

Gale still didn't understand a thing that was going on, but he complied. He got up and went over to look.

He dropped to his knees when he saw.

Gale quickly scurried back to Katniss and pulled her to the other side of the tree.

She looked into his gray eyes which were practically spinning as he tried to figure out what do to.

Gale had just seen an army lining up outside of Thirteen. And they were preparing to attack.

"Gale," Katniss finally said, taking his face in her hands, "you need to run back to Thirteen and warn them."

Gale nodded vaguely, his mind still reeling as he processed all the information. They couldn't be from the Capitol, he knew, he'd seen their forces overthrown himself. The army must be from One, he realized. They'd willingly come over to the Rebellion's side, perhaps too willingly, and were in charge of taking over most of Two—which had most of the Capitol's military resources.

Gale knew it was strange when One surrendered, but they'd needed that break so badly at the time…he cursed himself for not having seen through their subterfuge.

"Gale," Katniss said seriously.

"Yeah? Yeah, we need to go," he said, starting to pull Katniss up. But she didn't move.

"Gale, I can't run."

"I'm not leaving you."

"I'll be fine."

"With an enemy army a couple hundred yards away from you?"

"They won't even know I'm here."

"Are you kidding me?" Gale finally lost it. "What the hell were you even thinking coming out here?"

"Hey, if I hadn't come out here, we wouldn't know about this until they were attacking us, so I think I did everyone a favor."

Gale couldn't believe her.

"Don't worry, you can thank me later."

"God damn it, Katniss."

"Gale, you're wasting important time, and you know it." Her voice was growing more severe. "You need to go and warn everyone."

Gale knew she was right, but he didn't want to leave her.

"I'll be fine," she said, not with a tone of reassurance but annoyance.

Gale pulled his coat off and wrapped it around her. "Don't you even think about moving."

"I won't."

"And I'll be right back."

Katniss just nodded.

Gale leaned in and kissed her. His brain told his body to move, but it took a few moments to listen.

Katniss looked like she was getting ready to scold him again when he finally turned to run, sprinting off in the direction of Thirteen.

Katniss let out the sharp breath she'd been holding in when he finally left and doubled over, no longer needing to hide the pain she was feeling from the contraction.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All! You've made it to the final chapter! And I just want to say a tremendous thank you to all of you who've followed me on this crazy journey. It started as fluffy-smutty goodness and I know it turned into something entirely else, and I just really hope you all like it and that it's meant something to you because writing it has certainly meant something to me.
> 
> As I've sure you've guessed, this is the chapter where Katniss gives birth. I don't think I'd call this graphic, but I would however say that I've been detailed, though more with character interactions and dialogue rather than body fluids, so I hope reading this isn't too bad. (and if you think it is, let me know, I can make some edits.) I know I have at least one reader out there who might like to see an abridged version of this chapter, and if so, let me know and I can perhaps post and alternate, less detailed version if people are interested.
> 
> Also, I'll just throw out that I've never been pregnant or given birth. I did a fair amount of research to write this, but if anyone who's more experienced sees some glaring error they'd like me to fix, feel free to let me know.
> 
> Many thanks again to all you amazing people for reading. As always, and especially since we've come to the end of our journey, I'd love to know what you think and would be oh-so-grateful to anyone who'd like to leave me a review :)

Gale made it back to Thirteen in record time, covering the few mile's distance in under 20 minutes.

Convincing those in charge of danger was a more difficult task, it turned out. And it didn't help that Gale quickly lost his temper when no one listened to him. Almost everyone he knew and with any real power was on leave now, enjoying themselves at the party or relaxing. So the people in charge just thought he was just a crazy drunk at first, and it wasn't until someone recognized him and vouched for his credibility that anyone listened.

Gale realized it was naïve to think he could simply have come, screamed danger, and then run back to Katniss. And even though his heart was threatening to escape his chest, he was able to get ahold of himself and calmly explain what he'd seen to three officials and then General Pierce.

"You're serious?"

"Of course I'm serious."

"Alright," Pierce finally said, "go alert the President. And someone find Beetee and see what his machines can tell us. Hawthorne," he turned to bark orders at Gale. But Gale was already gone.

He'd run out the door and was on his way back to get Katniss.

. . .

Katniss was sitting by the tree just where he'd left her. Gale'd been gone a little over an hour, but Katniss surprisingly wasn't worried. Her mind was too occupied with what was going on with her body. Not with the contractions, only of which a few had occurred and which were uncomfortable more than anything, but with convincing herself that she wasn't in labor.

 _I've still got a few weeks left until my due date,_ her brain told itself. _And these are just Braxton-Hicks contractions. I've already had several of those. This is just from stress or excitement. And there isn't any real need to worry until they're regular. And is this really a contraction? Or just a cramp? Maybe I just need to drink some water. I'm fine. It's fine. It's all fine._

She kept telling herself these things even as another contraction hit her.

. . .

"Katniss, are you okay?" Gale said, almost falling on himself and crashing into her when he came back.

"Yeah," she said, the pain slowly leaving her body. She did her best to disguise it.

"Are you sure?" Gale could tell something was wrong.

"Yeah," she said with an easy smile, now able to look him in the eyes. "I'm just uncomfortable sitting like this. I need to stretch." Her voice panged as she said that, but Gale didn't seem to notice.

"Alright, let's get you home." Gale pulled Katniss's arm over his shoulder and helped her up.

"Is everything okay? Do you know what's going on?"

"The right people are working on it," Gale said, giving himself permission not to think about how to deal with the enemy army amassed outside of Thirteen so he could focus on getting Katniss to safety. "I can't believe you came out here." His voice was thick with frustration.

"What? I wanted to go for a walk."

Gale scoffed.

"It was supposed to be safe! How was I supposed to know there'd be an army…"

"Katniss, you're almost nine months pregnant…"

"You think I don't know that?" She wasn't in the mood for a lecture.

"No," he said carefully sensing her worsening mood. "I just wish—"

"Damn it, Gale, I just wanted to go for a walk!" Tears filled Katniss's eyes and she had to wipe them away. Her stomach was growing tight and uncomfortable again and she wanted to stop walking. She actually wanted to lean against something, but she didn't want to tell Gale. She knew he'd worry. He'd ask her what's wrong. Then he'd figure out she was probably in labor, and that meant she'd have to admit she was in labor and that the baby was coming. And the baby wasn't coming now. She wasn't ready. Not when another war might break out. Her baby was safe inside her right now, completely protected.

She couldn't stop the tears from pouring down her cheeks as the panic of this realization hit her. And Gale soon noticed something was wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, quickly wiping her eyes. "I'm just…"

Gale looked at her attentively waiting to see what she was just.

She smiled at him after a few moments, getting ahold of herself. "I'm sorry," she said, reaching out for his hand, "I'm just emotional."

"It's going to be okay. We just need to get back to Thirteen."

"Okay," she said, taking is hand. Gale threw his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead, and two began to walk again.

But after a few steps, Katniss felt another pain in her abdomen. It was like a crap. Sharp for a moment, and then a dull ache. She tried to ignore it and kept walking. After several minutes passed, another one came. This one was too sharp for her to ignore, and she let out a small cry and had to stop.

"What's wrong?"

"I just need to stop for a minute."

"Katniss…" Gale said as he slowly processed the information.

"I just need a minute, Gale." She didn't register his tone.

"Are you having a contraction?"

"No," she maintained, leaning against a tree and breathing heavily.

Gale gave her a moment to rest and studied carefully. He watched the ways her muscles tensed, the expressions she made with her face.

"Okay," she said after a few minutes, and Gale took her hand and they began to walk.

Katniss's comfort shifted as they walked. Sometimes it made her feel better, sometimes it made her feel worse. She knew she didn't want to lie down, but she was thinking taking a hot bath would feel nice when her stomach tenses again. She squeezed Gale's hand more tightly, but kept walking.

"Come here," Gale finally said, bending down to pick her up. He was done with her nonsense and taking her to safety.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to carry you."

"What? Why? I can walk!"

Gale swore under his breath. "Katniss, you're in labor."

"No I'm not!"

"Katniss," Gale said, losing patience, "you're having regular contractions."

Her eyes popped in disbelief and she shook her head vehemently.

Gale just shook his head. "About every fifteen minutes, and they're lasting about thirty seconds."

Katniss continued shaking her head, more in disbelief than denial. _How did Gale know that?_

Gale could read her mind. "Three times now," he explained, "You've winced and squeezed my hand for about thirty seconds every fifteen minutes."

Katniss's face fell.

"I'm not in labor!"

Gale wasn't in the mood to fight with her. He was in military-mode, and he was going to do whatever he had to. He moved to pick Katniss up again, but she swatted him away.

"I'm not having the baby right now. It's just not happening."

Gale thought she was being ridiculous. He didn't understand why she was ignoring the facts, he didn't appreciate that it could put them in danger, and he wasn't in the mood to argue about it.

"She's safe, inside me, where I can protect her," Katniss shouted, beginning to tremble as the fear she's been fending off all morning began to take her. "Where I can keep her safe, and make sure nothing hurts her…"

Gale suddenly realized why she was behaving the way she was: she wasn't being difficult or senseless. She was afraid.

He softened and took her into his arms. "Hey, it's going to be alright, okay?"

"It's just not time yet, everything's too…"

"I know."

"I'm not ready," she cried into his chest.

"It'll be okay," Gale told her.

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do," he said, folding her into his arms. Her body was hot and shaking.

"How?"

"Because we're together."

She looked up at him like she didn't understand what that meant.

"And we always figure it out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You ready?" He asked, bending down to pick her up.

"No, I'd rather walk," she said, calm down. "It feels better when I walk."

Gale nodded though he didn't like it. He really just wanted to pick her up and run back.

"That's why I started walking in the first place."

"Alright," he said, keeping his thoughts to himself about how stupid it was to walk away from help and support at the first sign of labor.

. . .

When they made it back to Thirteen, dozens of soldiers were scouring the area, searching for all the citizens who'd come out to celebrate and directing them inside. Gale flashed his ID to the guards and was immediately passed through. In the elevator, Gale let out the tense breath he'd been holding. They were safe now, he knew. Thirteen had been built to withstand a nuclear blast, and he knew whatever the enemy forces outside as planned, as long as they were inside, they'd be safe. He let his muscles relax a little and Katniss slide out from under his arm and leaned against the. Gale punched in the buttons to go to the hospital.

Katniss sat in a chain outside the hospital waiting room while Gale went to find her mom. Inside, the nurses were in overdrive preparing in case they had to treat any victims from battle. A stern looking woman with a tight bun on the top of her head was billowing orders, and most of the young women running around looked frightened. No one would stop and talk to Gale no matter how hard he tried to get someone's attention. He finally had to grab an orderly by the arm and force the young man to look at him.

"Do you know where Nurse Everdeen is?"

The young man tried to jerk away, but could hardly move against Gale's strength. "There's a chart over there with everyone's assignment."

Gale didn't thank the man and retrieved it. When looked up Anise Everdeen's name and location, and then went to find her. She was helping assess all the current patients so that they knew who they could move if they needed the space.

"Mrs. Everdeen," Gale called, waving at her. Anise finished checking the chart of one patient and then went over.

"Gale, we're quite busy…"

"Katniss is in labor."

Anise's face shifted. "Of course she is," she said annoyed, as if Katniss had planned it at the most inconvenient time on purpose. "How far apart are her contractions?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"And how long are they lasting?"

"Thirty seconds."

"For how long?"

"The past few hours."

Anise grabbed the next chart and looked up at Gale. "That's pre-labor. Take her back to your room…"

"Shouldn't we stay here? In the hospital?"

"No," Anise said flatly, "she'll be more comfortable there."

"But what if…"

"Gale," Anise said commandingly, "she's going to be in pre-labor for a while. She'll be more comfortable in your room, and, quite frankly, you probably won't be allowed to stay in here anyway."

Gale looked at Mrs. Everdeen straight in the eyes and tried to comprehend what she was saying.

"I'll come and check on you as soon as I can, but you have nothing to worry about until she reaches the second stage of labor."

"Okay," Gale said as he scanned his brain, trying to recall what he'd read about the stages of labor.

"Okay," Anise said, and what she meant was _goodbye._ It took Gale a second to realize that, and when he did, he just turned and went back to Katniss.

. . .

An hour passed before Mrs. Everdeen made it Katniss's room. Gale'd been furious for the first thirty minutes, but he slowly realized that Katniss's condition wasn't really critical at all, and she was more irritable than anything else.

"Katniss, darling, how are you doing?" Her mom said as she came in the door. She spoke in clam, measured breaths as she went to her daughter's side.

Katniss was sitting with her legs crossed on the bed. "Oh, I'm okay I guess."

Anise grabbed her hand, took her pulse, and looked her over.

"When did the contractions start?"

"I'm not really sure they have started yet."

Anise softly shook her head and Gale cursed to himself; Katniss still wasn't ready to admit she was in labor.

"Tell me how you're feeling then."

Katniss let out a frustrated sigh. It was hard for her to ignore how she was feeling when everyone kept asking her to talk about it.

"I don't know. I'm just really uncomfortable."

"Do you feel any pressure?"

"Yes."

"And cramps?"

"Yeah."

"And then these cramps are becoming more regular?"

"On and off," Katniss said.

"About every seventeen minutes," Gale said precisely. He'd been tracking them. Katniss shot him a dirty look. It just annoyed her.

"Has your water broken?"

"I don't think so."

"Alright. I'm going to need to see if you're dilated."

"Okay."

"That means you need to get undressed, Katniss," Anise said after her daughter didn't move for several minutes.

Katniss made an unhappy sound but complied. She went into the bathroom and changed into a robe.

When her mother finished examining her, she said Katniss was dilated about three or four centimeters.

"There's nothing to worry about until you get to seven centimeters."

"How long will that take?"

"Hard to say," Anise said, "since this is your first child, it'll probably take several hours. Until you're fully dilated, just try your best to stay comfortable."

Anise puffed the pillows on the bed behind Katniss and gently caressed her cheek

"I'll be back in a few hours to check on you. When I see how much you've progressed, we can move from there."

"What am I supposed to do until then?"

"Try and relax, rest. Do whatever makes you most comfortable, taking a short walk, a hot shower. Make sure you drink lots of water and have a light snack."

"So this really happening?"

"It had to happen sooner or later."

"What if I'm not ready…What if…" Katniss's voice began to crack and Gale felt a pang in his heart. He wished there was some way he could help.

"You'll be ready when the time comes," Anise said, and she uncharacteristically leaned in and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"

"Okay."

. . .

Neither Gale nor Katniss were very good at the waiting. They'd spent their whole lives doing things, and having nothing to do was wearing bother of them.

Gale was desperate to help and be involved in the process, he incessantly asked Katniss how she was doing, what she was feeling. He wanted to understand, but all he did was upset her, so he finally resorted to sitting in the corner and reading the material about birth and labor again.

"Gale."

"Yeah?" he said immediately flying to her side.

"You need to calm down."

"What?"

"Just watching you is making me nervous."

Gale frowned. He didn't know how to appear less nervous. He thought he was containing himself pretty well.

"Sorry."

"You're shaking your knees and drumming your fingers."

"Sorry," Gale repeated, not aware that his body was showing his nerves.

"It's just bothering me."

"I've stopped."

"Okay," Katniss said, now irritated that she didn't have something else to focus on. "I think I want to go for a walk," she finally said.

"Umm." Gale began as he considered if leaving the room was a good idea.

"Maybe we can see what's going on? See if Beetee or Plutrarch need anything?"

Gale had to stop himself from asking Katniss if she was crazy. "I think they can handle things," Gale said with a small laugh, imagining the catastrophe that would be Katniss in labor interacting with either of those men. "Why don't we just stay here and…"

"I don't want to stay here!" she snapped. "Sorry, I'm just…"

"It's okay."

"No, Gale, it's not okay. I don't like this."

"Are you in pain?" Gale wanted to know if there was something he could to do help.

"No, I mean, I don't know, it's not that bad. I'm sorry, I'm just…"

"It's okay," Gale told her, folding her into his arms. "You don't have to apologize for anything today."

"We're going to have a baby, Gale." She said, looking up at him. "Like really."

"I know," he smiled.

"Are you sure? There's going to be a whole nother human being here."

"I know. Aren't you excited to see her? Meet her?"

"Yes. It's just…"

"What?"

"It's the coming out of me part I'm not so excited about."

"Hey, you can do this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh god," she said, leaning forward as another contraction hit her. "Okay, that one wasn't fun."

"Did it hurt?"

"A bit." She repositioned herself again. "Can we just walk up and down the hallway maybe?"

"Yeah," Gale said, not able to tell her no.

The pair only barely made it down the hall before a guard found them and ordered them back into their rooms. Thirteen had the citizens on lock down while they found the army. Gale tried to get more details from the man, but he refused to answer and just ordered them back to their room.

"Sorry," Gale apologized, knowing how badly Katniss wanted to get out of the room.

"It's okay. I guess I can just pace," she huffed annoyedly.

Gale suddenly had an idea. "Come here," he said, taking her hand.

"What?"

"Just come here."

He led her to the center of the room and turned her to face him. She stared at him with wide, curious eyes.

Gale smiled softly to himself. He knew she didn't want to stay in bed and that they needed to do something to occupy themselves to pass the time.

"Katniss, can I have this dance?"

She laughed at him. "What?"

"Come on," he said, moving one of his hands to her hips and taking the other.

"You know I can't dance."

"I'll teach you."

Katniss wanted to tell him he was being ridiculous, that this wasn't the time, and that she never really cared about dancing anyway. But she couldn't. She instead wanted to tell him that this was exactly why she loved him.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he said, as he began to hum a soft tune.

"I just want you to remember that," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder and following his lead. "Whatever else I say today."

"I will," Gale said and kissing her, and then the pair began to sway.

Their dancing was awkward, but it did help pass the time and moving made Katniss feel better, and it even made her laugh.

"You're a good dancer," she told him.

"My mom made me learn."

"Yeah, my mom tried to teach me too," Katniss said with a small laugh, "but as you can see, her lessons didn't take."

"You're not that bad," Gale said, holding her body close to his.

"I'd probably be better at this if I could see my feet," she joked, and they both laughed.

But after a while, her contractions were growing sharper.

"Oh damn," she said mid-waltz. "I need to stop for this one."

"Of course." Gale supported her as she clenched his hand.

"Ahh," she breathed sharply.

"Do you want to sit down?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know."

"Okay," Gale said, rubbing her lower back as she pressed herself into him.

She finally released his hand, and Gale made a mental note about how long the contraction lasted.

They were getting closer together now – about ten minutes apart – and they were lasting almost a minute.

He really hoped Mrs. Everdeen would come back soon to check Katniss's progress.

But she didn't. In the next hour, Katniss's contractions got sharp enough that they had to stop dancing.

"I think I need to sit," Katniss said, but as Gale helped her to the bed, she dropped to her knees. "Oww."

She stayed crouched for several moments before getting up. She finally reached for Gale's hand and he helped her up.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded and grimaced a smile. "Ehh…I've been better. But then again, I've also been worse."

. . .

Over the next few hours, Katniss's contractions only grew sharper and closer together.

"Oh god, that one hurt, that one really really hurt," she said, a few tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I know," Gale said, supportively rubbing her back.

"No you don't, Gale, you don't have any idea how much that hurt!" she screamed at him.

"I'm sorry," he said for what was probably the hundredth time that night.

"No, I am," she said shuddering and letting out her breath as the pain subsided. "This just isn't fun."

Gale wanted to say he was sorry again, but knew it would do no good so he just leaned in and kissed her.

"I want to know where my mom is," she said.

Gale leaned in and kissed her. He was considering going to find Anise himself, though he really didn't want to leave Katniss, but it'd been almost eight hours since Anise had been by, and he was equal parts angry and worried.

"She'll be here soon," Gale tried to comfort her.

. . .

"Katniss, dear, how are you doing?" Her mom said officiously as she entered the room almost an hour later.

Katniss opened her mouth to scream at her mom, ask her what the hell took her so long. She was about to scream at her mother that she was dying when she noticed that her mother's arm was in a sling."

"What the hell is that? What happened to you?"

"Oh this? Nothing dear, just a scratch." Anise said as she began to look Katniss over.

"It doesn't look like just a scratch," Katniss grunted. "What happened?

"Nothing dear, I was just shot."

"You were shot?!"

"Yes, dear, that's why I'm late."

"What the hell happened?"

"I was shot, I just told you, now, how far apart are your contractions?"

Katniss looked at her mother like she was insane. "You're worried about my contractions right now?"

"Of course I am. I'm your primary caretaker. And your mother," she added almost as if it were an afterthought.

Katniss looked at Gale like she wanted him to do something, but since her mother had already been treated, he just shrugged. _What do you want me to do about this?_ his look to her read.

"Good, it looks like you're progressing nicely. Has your water broken yet?"

"I don't think so. How did you get shot mom?"

"With a gun, dear, isn't that how everyone gets shot? Now when did you start experiencing contractions?"

"Why were you near guns? What were you doing?"

"I was tending the injured in the field."

Katniss rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe how nonchalant her mother was being.

"Katniss," her mother said commandingly in a tone Gale didn't even dare question, "I'm fine. Now we need to focus on taking care of you and this baby."

"Okay," Katniss nodded, and then another contraction hit her.

When Katniss's mother had finished assessing her condition – nearing the second stage of labor and seven centimeters dilated – she told them what she knew about the battle outside after Katniss kept asking.

"Dear, you don't need to think about that right now."

"I'd rather think about anything other than what my body's doing right now," she gasped.

"Alright…" Anise said, and explained that she'd heard rumors the attackers were from One, but she didn't know that for certain. She'd also heard reports that Thirteen dropped several bombs on the mass of soldiers that Katniss and Gale had found, but the enemy fighters had dispersed one the ground and nearly encircled Thirteen, so their soldiers had to resort to a sort of guerilla warfare.

That's why she'd been sent into the field and how she'd gotten hurt.

"Are we winning?" Gale asked.

"Oh, I don't know dear," Anise said, "Try not to push, Katniss, it isn't time yet."

"I can't help it!"

"Gale, can you hold her?"

"Just try and relax dear, save your energy for when it is time to push."

Katniss scoffed. She didn't know how she was supposed to relax when it felt like her insides were being wrung out and her lower back beaten.

Her mother advised that Katniss change positions frequently and told Gale to message her back.

"Does that feel better?" he asked.

"Yeah," Katniss admitted, leaning into him.

He hugged her. "Are you doing okay?"

She smiled faintly. "You keep asking me that."

"I know," he said wishing he had a better answer.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Gale said, not thinking that it mattered how he was doing at all.

"And how's my mom?"

"You don't have to worry about us," Gale told her, "just focus on yourself…"

"It'd rather focus on something else, actually," Katniss said, gripping his hand tightly as another contraction hit her.

Gale stayed by Katniss's side as she entered what her mother called the second stage of labor. Katniss's contractions were five minutes apart now and lasting well over a minute. She shifted positions frequently, unable to find anything that made her comfortable. She lay in the bed, stood up, leaned against the bed, nothing worked.

Her mother eventually dozed off in the chair beside her, and Katniss did her best to be quiet and not disturb her.

Gale told Katniss not to worry about her, but Katniss refused. "She was shot today, Gale!" she said between clenched teeth as she tried to whisper, "she needs some rest."

Katniss's mother slept for a few hours and jumped awake when she heard Katniss scream.

Anise was disoriented for a moment, but quickly gathered herself.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Maybe four hours," Gale told her as he held Katniss's hand.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"Four minutes and fifteen seconds," Gale said.

"How long are they lasting?"

"About two minutes each."

Anise nodded. When the contraction subsided, she checked Katniss.

"How are you feeling?" she asked her daughter.

"How do you think I feel?" Her pain was almost unbearable, she was trembling now and crying.

"Okay," Anise said in her characteristically clinically calm voice, "Just put your legs up, let's see how dilated you are."

Katniss was initially very uncomfortable about having her mother examine her this way, but she'd stopped caring about any of that a few hours ago. Now, she just wanted the baby out.

"Has your water broken?"

Katniss shook her head no.

"Hmmm," Anise considered. Her water should have broken by now. "Have you been changing positions? Moving? Walking?"

"Yeah."

Anise watched Katniss carefully for the next hour, having her move, getting in and out of bed between contractions, but still, her water didn't break. So Anise decided to break Katniss's water for her.

She began to explain the procedure to Katniss, but she didn't need the details. "Just do whatever you have to."

Anise broke her daughter's water, and not long after, she was fully dilated.

"Ten centimeters. Alright Katniss, it's time to push."

"Okay," Katniss said, ready to work to get the baby out now.

"Wait till your next contraction, dear," Anise said. "And Gale, can you get a cloth and wipe her forehead?"

Gale rushed to complete the task, which Anise had given for his sake more than Katniss's. He was a ball of nervous energy, desperate for some way to help.

"Alright, Katniss, when the next contraction comes, I want you to listen to your body and try—"

"Listen to my body? My body is saying it doesn't want to do this."

"No, Katniss, just try to pay attention and work with your muscles during the contraction."

Katniss swore under her breath, she had no idea what her mother was talking about, and her contractions were excruciating. But as her mother coached Gale to rub her back and told her what to do, Katniss actually found them bearable, and the pain was less than it'd been before she started pushing. Each time she got ready to push, she threw her whole body into it, excited, expecting she'd finally get to see and hear and hold her baby after. But that's not what happened.

Two hours passed, and Anise advised Katniss take some breaks to save her energy.

"I just want you to push with every other contraction now, okay?"

Two more hours passed, and Katniss had made little progress. Anise wasn't phased by this, she knew the active part of labor could last up to eight hours for first time mothers, but Katniss was growing weary and Gale was visibly worried.

Katniss's enthusiasm and excitement had waned. Now, all she really could focus was how her body felt, and her brain was too busy processing the pain to think about being excited or worried or anything else.

Gale, on the other hand, was thinking about too much. He was worried for Katniss, and angry he could do anything to help or make it better. And, despite all the literature Anise had given him, his understanding of birth mostly came from Posy's delivery – which wasn't anything compared to this.

Gale was fourteen, and he vividly remembered his mother making everyone breakfast that morning. As he and his brothers ate their porridge, his mom let out a low sigh a few times, and Gale finally asked if she was okay.

"Oh, yes, honey, but I need you to go get Mrs. Everdeen once you finish your food, okay?" There was absolutely nothing urgent in her voice. After breakfast, Gale's mom went into her room while her mother watched Rory and Vick, and Gale ran to Katniss's house. Less than an hour later, Posy was born.

Gale knew Katniss's delivery would be different, but he wasn't expecting this.

She was crying and sweating, and he couldn't imagine how tired she must feel. Even the longest and hardest days he'd been in the mines didn't compare to this.

He gently pressed a washcloth to her temple and did whatever he could to make her feel better, but Katniss was finally breaking.

She had a strong tolerance for pain and had done a lot of difficult work in her life, but she'd hadn't slept in almost a day now and she was in more pain than she'd ever been in in her life.

"You're doing so great, Catnip."

She looked at him like she wanted to hit him.

"Oww. Mom, this is really hard."

"I know, dear," Anise said, "that's why they call it labor."

"But why isn't my baby here?"

"Your body just needs time, dear, now push, and remember to breath. Good girl."

. . .

"Gale," she whimpered, "Gale…."

"I'm right here, Catnip, you're doing great," he told her, running his hands through her hair which was completely drenched with sweat.

But Gale wasn't convinced she was doing great. Another three hours had passed. Katniss was trembling again and she looked weak.

"Can you just…" Katniss didn't get say what she just wanted, though. Another contraction hit her and she fiercely gripped his hand and screamed.

Gale knew Katniss would never ask for help unless she absolutely needed it, and he glared at Anise.

"Isn't there something we can do?" he asked.

Anise's expression didn't change, but she pressed her hand against Katniss's stomach and assessed the baby's position.

"Alright, Katniss, look at me," Anise said, turning her daughter's face to meet hers. "I need you to get up."

"No," Katniss whimpered. She didn't have the energy to move anymore.

"Yes dear, you can do it. On your hands and knees. Gale, help support her. Now, I need you to push harder than you've ever pushed before, okay? With your whole body, okay? It's time to get this baby out."

Katniss thought she'd been pushing as hard as she could all along, but she did as she was asked. When her contraction came, she pushed, and then she rested, and then she pushed again.

She tried several positions: sitting in the bed, squatting, laying on her back, lying on her side. But nothing seemed to work. Two more hours passed.

Katniss had now been pushing for over nine hours.

"I can't," she whimpered when her mom asked her to push again. Anise was now suggesting that Katniss only push with every third contraction as to conserve her energy. "No, mom, really, I can't."

"That's alright, dear," Anise said, wiping her daughter's forehead. "Take a break." She'd handed the cloth back to Gale and got up.

Anise was beginning to get worried. She'd delivered dozens of babies over the years, and she knew that with the first baby, it always took a while. But she also knew how many things could go wrong. She'd watched several women and babies die in this procedure over the years, and she wasn't going to let that happen to Katniss. Anise moved to the corner to collect herself, but Gale followed.

He knew something was wrong. "I'll be right back," he said, kissing Katniss hand and then her forehead. She nodded, too distracted to really process what he was doing.

"Mrs. Everdeen," he said in a low whisper.

Anise tried to wave him away. "Go sit by Katniss, dear, she needs you."

"Mrs. Everdeen…"

"I'm just getting fresh towels," she said, opening a cabinet.

Gale grabbed the extra towels from the cabinet, and shoved them in her arms. "What's wrong?" he said in his most serious voice.

It took Anise a moment to meet his eyes, but she did. "Nothing, dear, she's doing very well. It's very common for first time mothers to…"

"Be in labor for six to eight hours," he growled, "I read all the papers you gave me. Katniss has been doing this for ten. Now tell me what's wrong."

Anise looked at the ground for a moment and then met his eyes. "Gale, you were an eight and a half pound baby. Your other siblings were all over nine, and I think Vick might have been close to ten."

Gale didn't understand what Anise was telling him.

She let out a soft sigh. "Gale, Katniss was barely six pounds and Prim was hardly any bigger." Anise read the incomprehension in his eyes. "The baby might be too big."

"What?"

"It might be too big to pass through the birth canal. Her hips aren't really that wide, and…"

"And what?!" Panic and alarm hit his voice as he felt horrendously guilty.

Anise could read his pain. "Go sit with her, hold her, help her, do whatever you can. I'm going to go see if I can find some medicine to help, okay?"

If Gale's brain hadn't been processing all this information, and hadn't been exhausted from being awake for over twenty four hours, he would have been angry and asked Mrs. Everdeen why she was waiting until now to get the medicine.

But luckily for Anise, Gale didn't question this. He just nodded vaguely and flew back to Katniss side. This was lucky for Anise because there wasn't really any medicine that could help her daughter, but there was still something that could. Thirteen had the supplies and medical staff necessary to perform a C-section. Such operations weren't possible back in Twelve, but here, they could do it, Anise just had to go find someone who could help.

. . .

"Gale," Katniss whimpered.

"You're doing really great," he said, leaning in to kiss her.

Katniss let out a bark of a laugh. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are, yes you are."

"Please. Why is this so….awww…fuck…"

"Just breathe with me, Catnip, breathe." Gale held her and watched his watch, checking the time. "Okay?" he said when the contraction passed.

All she could do was nod.

. . .

Anise ran to the hospital quarter desperately but composed herself when she reached the door. She entered purposefully, and began looking for the few people she thought she could count on.

"Margy," she called when she saw one of her friends.

"Anise…what are you doing here? Your next shift doesn't start for a few hours."

Anise shook her head. "No, I need Dr. Bates. Where's Dr. Bates?"

Margy was clearly confused. "She's in surgery right now working on the boys who got bombed."

"Then do you know where Dalton is?"

"Anise, what do you…"

"My daughter Katniss is in labor."

"Anise, our beds here are overflowing with injured soldiers. No one has time to help a girl have her baby."

"She needs a c-section, Margy, she's been in labor for…"

"Anise, everyone is busy right now."

"It's a simple procedure, I've read about it several times. If I just had the equipment…"

"Anise," Margy said more forcefully, "there isn't any space. Every nurse we have is busy. Every doctor. Every bed, every operating table. I'm sorry but…"

Anise felt bile hit the back of her throat and fire burn in her stomach as a flash of hate swept over her. Not for Margy—but for herself. She should have known better than to ask for help. _It was stupid_ , she told herself, _I am stupid_ , she thought, as she remembered how the cold air hit her when her father slammed his door in her face after she'd asked him for help when Milo died.

Anise quietly left the room as frantic medics ran passed her and injured men screamed. She was ignorant to all of them. She shut the door as she went into the corridor and flattened herself against the wall, giving herself a minute. She let her fear, her panic, her hatred, her angry wash over her, and then she stopped. Every snuffed every emotion like the light of a candle. Every flame that flickered, flowed hotly thorough her body stopped and she returned to her calm. Sure, it was colder, but it left Anise with the most control.

She went into the supply closet, grabbed some mild pain killers, and went back to tend to her daughter.

Anise had helped women through worse labors before. She tried to count all the mothers and babies who'd survive as she walked back to the room.

. . .

"Did you get the medicine?" Gale asked desperately when Anise returned.

She smiled weakly at him. She knew this medicine wasn't going to help, but perhaps the hope it gave them would count for something.

"Yes," Anise spoke with a confident voice. "Take four of these, Katniss," she said as she poured a few pills into her hand and grabbed a glass of water. "Good girl, now swallow. Wonderful." She gently caressed her daughter's face and smiled. "You're doing wonderful."

Anise got up, unable to look her daughter in the eye anymore without crying herself, and went to the cabinet to get more towels. There was only one left in there, and she grabbed in and pressed her face to it for a moment before going to the sink

Absolutely shocked to see that the baby was crowning. The cloud that'd held Anise's head disappeared and she resumed her commanding control. She told Katniss she could see the baby's head, that she was almost done, and she just needed to push a little harder.

Her mother's message coupled with Gale's enthusiasm, renewed Katniss's effort. It took several more pushes, but not too long after, Katniss had delivered her baby's head.

"Oh my god, Katniss!" Gale couldn't believe what he was seeing. He kissed her knee, openly crying now.

"Come on now," her mother encouraged as she cleaned the baby's airways. "You're almost done and then you're baby will be here."

Katniss focused on the _you're almost done_ part. She'd never been more exhausted or drained in her life, but she knew she was close to the end, so when her next contraction came, she pushed as hard as she could for as long as she could.

And suddenly, the sharp pain and intense pressure. Katniss collapsed onto the pillows behind her. It was finally over.

But the relief that washed over Katniss disappeared almost immediately. As she lay, looking up at the ceiling above her, she didn't hear a thing. _Why wasn't her baby crying? Wasn't her baby supposed to be crying?_ Something was wrong. Katniss knew it. She'd been in labor for too long. She'd done something wrong. She'd been so focused on ending her own pain…

The pain Katniss felt in that moment was greater than anything she'd felt before. Tears spilled over her eyes and she tried to will herself up, but she couldn't make her body move. None of her muscles would listen, and she hated herself.

"Gale," she said, her voice at first not working, "Gale!" she tried to scream to ask what had happened.

But as she searched for his hand and tried to find her voice, she felt something on her stomach and looked down.

There was her child. She saw the blue skin and felt her heart cracking. Something was wrong, she thought, her baby was…

Alive.

The child let out a soft cry, and Katniss reached down and pulled her baby into her arms.

"Oh my god," she sobbed, feeling suddenly as if she could float. "Oh my god, Gale, look!"

Katniss had never felt a love so pure or strong in her life.

Gale crouched by Katniss's side and kissed the side of her face. Tears were streaming down his eyes too.

"Can you believe how incredible she is? Just look…"

"Yeah," Gale said, "there's just one thing."

"What?" Katniss suddenly felt fear grip her heart again. "What's wrong with her?"

"No, don't worry, Catnip," Gale said, leaning in to kiss her, "nothing wrong. She's just not a she."

"What?" Katniss said, hardly comprehending. She brought her child up closer to her chest, and sure enough, she was realized she was holding her son. "He's perfect."

* * *

Katniss gave birth to a healthy baby boy on December 14 at 10:52 am. His parents named him Reed Milo Hawthorne, and he missed being the first child born in the new nation of Panem by four and a half hours. The enemy fighters from One didn't officially surrender until that early afternoon. But this was a detail Plutarch didn't let get in his way. Baby Reed was touted as Panem's "first son," and Katniss and Gale agreed to release one photo for Plutarch to circulate. He was unsatisfied, but it turned out, the people of Panem were. Now that they finally had the opportunity to live their own lives, they weren't so interested in someone else's.

And that suited Gale and Katniss just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Don't worry guys, there'll be an epilogue (don't you want to know what's happened to Prim?)


	44. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first scene from the Epilogue. Since it's going to be a few scenes/chapters long, I've made it a separate story. It'll called "Undying Love," so please look there for the rest of Gale and Katniss's story. And, as always, I hope you like and would love to know what you think!

The Epilogue

September 779 (or, 3.5 years after the Rebellion ended)

* * *

"Daddy!" Reed screamed, nearly tripping over himself and shot down the stairs and into his father's outstretched arms.

"Hey, Kiddo," Gale said as he scooped his son up into a big hug. "How've you been?" he asked as he carried his son into the kitchen to greet Katniss.

"Hey," he said, and she turned around to give him a kiss. Gale put Reed down and embraced her.

Reed pulled at his father's pants, demanding back his attention.

"Dad, I want to tell you what I learned at school today!"

"Yeah, I want to hear all about it," Gale said beaming.

He'd missed his son's first week of preschool. He'd had to go to the Capitol for work, ironically, to champion Twelve's educational program. The Districts were still pretty badly divided in how they did things, and in the three years since the rebellion ended, there was a lot of disparity between the success they were all having.

Coin's presidency had allowed each District a lot of freedom in choosing how they wanted to do and operate things, but it was becoming pretty clear now that some programs were working better than others. She was basing her reelection campaign on programs that would integrate the diverse systems and bring the best ones to all the districts.

Four's transportation systems and new construction had been immensely successful, and the employment programs in Eight had amazing results – to Haymitch's surprise – and Five was making a lot of progress with their renewable energy plan.

Twelve was seeing great results with its educational system that been created, shockingly, by Haymitch, who somehow found himself mayor of Twelve.

"Well god dammit," he told Katniss on the day he was sworn in, "I'd just gotten so used to ordering people around…I don't know how the hell this happened."

She smiled. Leadership suited her old mentor. He still hadn't had a drop to drink since they rebellion had ended, and he'd done a great job organizing all the returning people into gather food, supplies, and rebuilding. He also had the connections with Coin's newly elected government to see Twelve succeed. He was their best choice, she knew it.

"You sure you don't want this gig?" he joked. "You always did like bossing people around."

Katniss smiled. "Nah," she said, looking down at her baby in her arms, "I've found a better job."

Haymitch's educational plan was called _ARENA,_ and it sprung from Haymitch's mentoring experience. Gale liked to joke that Haymitch's only real contribution was the name as he'd spent several days coming up with a title to meet the acronym: Academic Requirements to Educate the Nation's Adolescents.

"You'd be surprised how much and how quick kids can learn when their lives are on the lines," he told the educational board one day.

"We can't endanger the children," a horrified woman told him.

"I'm just saying, these kids aren't going to learn anything unless they see the value to it."

And so _ARENA_ began. It was an integrated process that focused on using the traditional subjects to build real world skills and focused on building relationships between the teachers and their students. Instead of teachers being assigned one class to teach repeatedly year after year, they were assigned one group of students and taught them through the years.

Gale was honorably discharged from the nation's army for his failure to report to duty when Katniss was in labor. He'd turned off his communicuff and missed the numerous orders he'd been given to help fight.

"You know I hate to do this to you," General Piece told him when he turned in his uniform, weapon, and medals. "But we can't make exceptions."

"I'd never ask you to, Sir."

Gale never admitted the dismissal hurt him. He just said he didn't care and wanted to return and help rebuild Twelve anyway. But Katniss could tell it took something out of him to lose the camaraderie and respect he'd earned there.

He and Katniss returned three months after the war ended. Gale first helped with the new construction efforts, building a large part of his and Katniss's house himself, and planning many others. When Haymitch was nominated to be mayor, he told Katniss he'd only do it if Gale helped.

"I'm only doing this if your boy helps me."

"He'll help," Katniss said, knowing full well Gale'd be happy to do it. He was, and he'd since become one of Haymitch's top advisors, overseeing many of the district's new projects.

Katniss, on the other hand, was more than happy to be a stay at home mom, she wanted nothing to do with anyone other than Gale and their son for the first several months of his life. She did, reluctantly however, finally agree to use her good name and celebrity to promote important social programs when Prim kept begging her about a volunteer and donation opportunities she'd been working on in Four.

"Oh please, Katniss, do you know how much attention we'll get if you come?"

Katniss huffed. "People should come because it's an important program, not because of me."

"Yeah, but you know that's not how it works." Prim argued, and sure enough, she was right. Five times more people than expected showed up to Prim's program when Katniss agreed to come.

Prim and Torry decided to remain in Four after the war ended, much to Katniss and her mother's dismay. Anise was visibly upset and ordered her youngest daughter home, but Prim stoutly refused.

"Do you know how many injured people there are out here? This is where I'm needed."

"Prim, you're still a child…"

"I don't care! I'm going to do what needs to be done!"

Katniss had never realized just how alike she and her sister were until that moment. Prim had visited several times, but lived with Torry and his family in Four.

As Katniss sat in her kitchen, she stared down at her personal planner as Reed babbled to his father about his first week at school.

Most of her pages were empty now. They used to be filled with meetings and events. She spoke for Adult Literacy Programs in Ten, the Start You Own Garden Council in Eight, a Clothes Donation service in One…

Now, the only things on her calendar were Rory and Meeda's baby shower and Prim's wedding.

"And I learned a new song at school…" Reed continued.

"You did?" Gale lifted his son into his arms again.

"Yeah!" he said proudly and began to sing, "A bee sees the…elephant, I think." Reed's little face fell and he looked sheepish. "I forget the rest."

Gale frowned and tried to figure out what song his son was trying to sing as Katniss laughed from her seat.

"I forgot to teach our son the ABC's," she confessed and Gale laughed.

"Can I go outside and play with Cooper?" Reed asked. Cooper was their hound dog. Gale'd always wanted a dog, and he'd mentioned getting one several times since they returned to Twelve. Even though Katniss didn't want one, she finally broke down and got one for Gale for his birthday the year before.

Cooper actually turned out to be more of her dog that Gale's. Much to Gale's chagrin, he was gone so often these days that Cooper bonded more with Katniss than him. She even let Cooper sleep in bed with her while Gale was gone. Cooper was also a great companion for Reed and was often his only playmate.

"Yeah," Gale said, "but say in the front where I can see you," he said protectively.

Reed shrieked happily, calling the dog as he rushed outside to play.

"A bee sees the elephant?" Gale laughed as he put his hands around Katniss and kissed her more passionately. He'd missed her.

"Yeah," Katniss laughed. "He knows all the verses of _Deep in the Meadow_ and _The Hanging Tree…"_

"You taught him _The Hanging Tree_?"

"Yeah."

"Katniss, he's three." Gale didn't think that song was appropriate for a child.

"He's almost four," Katniss dismissed. Her father'd taught her that son when she was about Reed's age. She didn't see a problem with it.

Gale just shook his head. "How've you been?" he asked as he opened their fridge and looked for a snack.

"I'm fine," Katniss said as she looked back at her nearly empty calendar before her. "I went and got Meeda and Rory's baby present today."

Gale let out heavy breath. Meeda and Rory were a contentious subject in his family. Rory was the issue more than Meeda. She was actually a very sweet girl, but Rory'd been fired from the two jobs Gale'd gotten him since they moved back to Twelve and he and Meeda weren't married yet. They'd just moved in with Hazelle, and they were driving her crazy.

"Don't forget we're going to that next weekend."

"I know."

"And you better be nice."

"I'll be nice," Gale said, crunching into an apple.

"That means no lecturing your brother or starting any arguments."

"Hey," Gale said suddenly authoritatively, "he's about to be a father. He needs to…"

"No lectures and no arguments," Katniss said with equal authority. "And you have to be nice to Kurt too."

Gale looked at Katniss like she was asking too much. Kurt was a 'friend' of his mother's. Gale didn't have a problem with him until Kurt answered the door to his mother's house one morning in a towel when Gale was dropping off some oil she needed for her radiator.

"Oh, thanks, but I already fixed the radiator for her," Kurt said with a big smile. Gale had to stop himself from punching the man.

Gale told his mother he thought it was "wildly inappropriate" to have Kurt over. Hazelle coldly thanked Gale for his opinion and reminded him that he no longer lived under her roof, and even if he did, he didn't have the right to tell her what to do.

The fight that ensued loomed over the family for two holidays and made for awkward family gatherings. Katniss finally forced Gale to apologize and make up with his mom before Reed's second birthday.

"Apologize!? Are you kidding me?"

"Not even a little."

"She had a strange man in the house. And Posy was in the next room!"

"Gale," Katniss said with her last bit of patience. "Can't you just be happy that your mom's found someone who makes her happy?"

"Of course," Gale said. "That's not the issue."

"Then what is?"

Gale thought it was obvious until Katniss asked him. But he didn't know what to say.

"That's what I thought," Katniss said. "Now, go talk to your mother." She leaned in and kissed him.

"Fine."

"And I want you to invite Kurt to the party too."

Gale huffed.

"He's practically part of the family," Katniss said, "He and your mom have been—"

"Ahh! Stop it! I don't want to know what he and my mom have been doing or where or for how long!"

"You're being ridiculous. What are you going to do when Posy starts dating?"

Gale's look told Katniss he didn't think Posy would ever start dating.

"God, you're lucky we don't have daughters."

. . .

"How's Reed doing in school?" He asked, eager to change the subject and know about his son's first week at school. It really bothered Gale that he'd missed being here for it.

"It's been going really great," Katniss admitted. She'd also been nervous about sending her son away. "He's handling it better than I am." She was really upset about sending her son away, and had spent her first morning alone anxious and distraught. But when she picked him up from school, he was beaming and bubbling about all the fun he'd had learning and playing with other kids.

"He really enjoys it. Playing with the other kids, learning…" She let out a wistful sigh.

Gale came over and kissed her on the top of her head and squeezed her shoulder. He knew how hard it was for her to be apart from Reed. It was hard for him too.

Gale glanced protectively out the window to check on his son who was tossing a ball playfully with the dog.

"There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about," she said, drumming her a pen on her planner.

"Yeah?" Gale asked, still watching their son and taking another bite of his apple.

"What do you think about having another baby?"

Gale nearly choked on his piece of apple and had to knock his chest. He was certain he misheard Katniss.

"What?" he said when he stopped coughing.

"I want to have another baby," Katniss said, turning towards him. "What do you think?"

Gale stared at her blankly. After the birth of Reed, Katniss had made it very clear that she never wanted to have another child. Seeing how arduous the labor was and knowing Katniss had never wanted kids before, Gale never pressed the issues. But he'd always secretly wanted more children.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah," she said plainly, as if she were simply suggesting what they should have for dinner and not changing their whole lives.

"But…what…" Gale didn't understand what was going on.

"I know I said I didn't want any more…"

"Yeah," Gale said. She'd said that like a thousand times.

"But," she shrugged, dropping her eyes down to the calendar before her. "With Reed starting school…"

"Katniss, I know it's an adjustment now that he's away for a few hours every day…"

"No, Gale, that's not what this is about. On the first day Reed came home from school, Reed was so excited. He was ecstatic. And all because he got to play with other kids."

Gale nodded. Reed's only social interactions were usually limited to Gale, Katniss, both their mothers, and Posy.

"I mean, I asked him how his day was, and he said, 'Mommy, you won't believe it, but I got to play with other kids!'"

Katniss got teary-eyed just thinking about it, and Gale felt his heart ache too.

"And then, he was supposed to draw a picture of his family one day, and he called Cooper his brother." Katniss pointed to the fridge, and Gale found the picture clipped to the side. Sure enough, the word _brother_ was sloppily written above the image of the dog.

Katniss was getting emotional and Gale dropped on his knees by her side. "Hey," he said, taking her face into his hands. "Why don't we think about this for a while…"

"Don't you want more kids?" Katniss said angrily.

"Of course I do. You know I do. But I also know you don't."

"Well, I've changed my mind."

Gale frowned. "As much as I want a bigger family, Katniss, I don't want you to rush into something you don't want or will regret because you're having a hard time being apart from Reed."

"Damn it, Gale," she said getting up and pacing. "Why do you always think I don't know my own mind? This isn't some impulse. I don't want another child because I can't handle being alone in the morning or miss holding a baby. I want another kid because the best part of my childhood was my sister and I want Reed to have that too! I want him to have someone to play with and be his best friend."

"You're serious?" He said, slowly realizing that she was.

"Yes. I've been thinking about this for a while now. When Meeda found out she was pregnant. Now that's Prim's getting married…"

Gale stepped closer to her and looked her in the eyes. "You really want another baby?"

"Yes."

Gale grabbed her and swung her in his arms. Katniss let out a shriek of laughter as Gale kissed her passionately before setting her down on the counter. "Then let's make a baby."

She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him back. "Easy now," she said when she realized just how excited he was getting. "I didn't mean we had to start right now."

"Why not?" Gale said, nuzzling her neck and reaching his hands under her shirt.

Katniss laughed, and took Gale's face into her hands as she pulled him away. As much as he wanted to, he knew they couldn't make love in the kitchen.

But that night, in bed, after they'd put their son to sleep, Gale eagerly picked up where they left off.

"Come here," he said, pulling Katniss to him.

The couple had a very satisfying sex life, but Katniss could practically feel the sparks flying off his skin that night. Maybe it was because he'd been away for two weeks, she thought, but she suspected it was because she was so excited to increase their family.

There was something more exciting about making love for this reason, and she let out a deep moan as Gale slid off her shirt and pulled her into bed with him.

He climbed on top of her, peppering her skin with hot kisses as he slid off his shorts and found her found her breasts.

"What are you doing?"

Reed was standing in their doorway, staring at his parents curiously.

Gale immediately rolled off Katniss as she thrust the sheets up to her chin.

"Are you playing a game?"

"He's your son," Katniss whispered as she pressed her face into Gale's shoulder and stifled a laugh.

Gale grunted and nodded. He threw his legs off the other side of the bed and awkwardly put his shorts back on.

"What are you doing out of bed, buddy?" He asked as he adjusted himself and went over to scoop up his son.

"I don't know," Reed said plainly.

"Well, it's time to go to sleep," Katniss heard Gale say as he carried their son back to his room.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. Very sure."

Katniss couldn't stop smiling as she lay in bed, listening to her husband read to their son and realizing just how happy she was. She still couldn't believe sometimes that this was her life.

"Now where were we?" Gale asked when he came back into the room.

"Just so you know, I started without you." Katniss said, throwing off the covers and pulling Gale's body back on top of hers.

"So you did." Gale immediately hardened when her felt how wet and hot she was. "You're really sure you want another one of those?" Gale asked through a laugh as his lips found her nipple again and his hands began to do their work.

"Yes," Katniss answered. "Yes!"


End file.
